It’s Thanksgiving week, and Matthew & Nancy get real about gratitude, exhaustion, big life decisions, downsizing, money mistakes, emotional overwhelm, and navigating it all together. From parenting reflections to Facebook Marketplace chaos to processing selling their home, this episode is honest, messy, and full of heart.

Takeaways:

• Embracing vulnerability is essential when addressing significant life transitions, as demonstrated by our discussions on gratitude and family updates.
• Navigating the complexities of financial decisions can often lead to feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty, particularly when selling a cherished family home.
• Our differing approaches to processing emotions highlight the importance of communication in maintaining alignment as a couple during stressful times.
• The experience of letting go of possessions serves as a metaphor for releasing expectations and embracing change in our lives.
• Silence, while sometimes necessary, can create tension in a marriage, underscoring the need for open dialogue about feelings and decisions.
• Reflecting on our Thanksgiving traditions reveals the beauty of simplicity and gratitude amidst life's challenges and changes.

Hi, I'm Matthew Greger.

And I'm Nancy Greger.

We have this podcast called we should probably edit this, but we won't.

Our podcast is about us, our relationship, our 37 years of being married, raising.

Three children, and hopefully we can share.

Something that would be inspiring, honest, truthful.

As our tagline says, unfiltered, unscripted, and unapologetically us.

There you go.

We should probably edit this, but we won't.

Hi.

Hello.

I'm Matthew Greger.

I'm Nancy Greger.

We should probably edit this, but we won't.

Okay, so.

Gonna be a tough one today, I think.

No, I think we should do, like, a few things.

We could talk about.

What?

You have a topic and it is Thanksgiving week.

Okay.

So we should all.

Let's start off with being grateful and being thankful for the.

For always a good start.

Yep.

Always a good.

Right now I'm thankful for this nice, warm cup of coffee.

I know it's been a long day.

Oliver, you did a great job.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate it.

It's been a long day, and you can see that it's already starting to turn dark.

Yes.

Yes.

But it's been a good day.

Okay.

It's been a long day.

It's been.

It's been a good day, too.

We went.

We started off going to church.

We started off going for breakfast.

Then we went to church.

Met our son there, which was nice.

And then we had a good call with friends, which was two and a half hours long.

That's the part that I'm really not sure about because it took an awfully long time.

It was good.

It was a good call today.

A lot of.

A lot of things were discussed from all of us.

Somehow I ended up last.

What's that?

What's that mean?

Doesn't mean anything.

I was last and I.

But sometimes they save the best for last.

Oh, yeah?

Think so.

But.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, you seem to not be in a really good mood.

I.

You know when people continuously tell you, hey, what's wrong?

Hey, why you not.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You know, at some point you just say to yourself, I'm just not going to respond.

Like those Facebook Marketplace people that will continuously ask you, is it available?

Is it available?

Is it available?

At some point you're just going to get.

You're not going to respond because you don't want to acknowledge or respond any longer.

Okay.

I thought we were going to start off with being thankful and grateful for things.

Okay.

You went down that path.

I'll come back to that path.

I'll come back to that path in a minute.

Okay.

So why don't we talk about Thanksgiving?

Yes.

Thanksgiving coming up this week.

We're going to go all out for just you and me, which would be the first time we've, I think, ever did a Thanksgiving when it was just the two of us.

Except for when we were first married.

When it was just the two of us.

No, because I even think then either we invited friends over.

Well, it would have been, it would have been family.

We would have gone to.

We would have gone to family.

We would have gone to, to, to visit family.

So no, this, this would definitely be.

Does that bother you?

Not really.

Because there's a lot of things going on, so I would probably say the least amount of distractions that I would have would probably get better.

But I am going to do a full out feast.

Even if it's just you and me.

We'll just be eating it for like the next five days.

But.

And it's going to be a normal feast.

Like if there were six people showing.

You're going to get really tired of turkey.

That's all I'm going to say.

I'm going to get really tired of turkey.

In other words, I'm going to gain more weight, lose weight, which is a struggle as it is.

Well, I guess it all depends on how much I eat.

I don't have to eat it all.

Correct.

And you don't.

It's not one day sitting.

It's just what I'm saying.

You're going to have the same thing.

Repetitive.

It's Thanksgiving week when it comes to food.

When it comes to food.

Is Thanksgiving week.

It is Thanksgiving week.

That's, that's, that's a good way of looking at it, husband, because that pumpkin pie is not going to take us a day to finish.

It's probably going to take us a whole week to finish, but then it's over with and it's done.

Until Christmas.

No, a few weeks later.

But we don't do that for Christmas and we don't do turkey for Christmas.

Not turkey, but.

Well, there'll be food.

Oh, food, yes, of course.

But not.

So what are you thankful for?

I'm thankful for my grandchildren because I get to see them soon after.

Is it the week after we're leaving?

I think so.

The week after Thanksgiving.

The week after Thanksgiving we're going to be going down to Florida and So you can babysit.

I don't mind.

I love seeing my humans.

They, they're the best ever.

They Definitely keep you on your toes.

And the two year old will definitely keep me on my toes, but I just love it.

I don't, I don't have any problems.

I could now I will say, I preface that by saying I'm good for four days.

Then after that I probably might start getting a little punchy, but overall I'm good for four days.

Okay, so you're thankful for your humans.

I am thankful for my humans.

I'm thankful for my children.

They could be a challenge from time to time.

They are adults managing their own adult lives.

So I am thankful for them as well.

I'm thankful for my husband.

Oh, thank you.

That doesn't happen very often, but yes, thank you.

No, that happens all the time.

People ask me all the time, what am I thankful?

What's the ultra thing?

What am I thankful?

What am I?

I don't ever know that.

Oh, that's true.

But everybody else out there knows that.

I know and the same sometimes, sometimes you don't always need the thank yous.

Sometimes you just got to know.

Okay.

So I'm thankful for you, for doing this together, for a lot of things that you do for me, for our house, for us.

You know, I'm very thankful for.

I'm thankful for actually reconnecting with my parents after over a year, going down there and seeing them recently, kind of doing a health check and see how things are going.

So.

Wellness check.

Yeah, wellness check.

So it was a good visit.

So I'm thankful for the way that it went and how it was and it was a short trip which was good, probably needed and you know, I'm thankful for the friends that we have right now.

Very much thankful for that and thankful to be on a journey where I'm not quite sure where I'm headed or where we're headed, but it's about the journey, about not going, being on the journey.

Yeah, yeah.

So.

And I'm thankful for my health, although I don't feel like I'm in the best condition that I want to be in, but I'm thankful that I'm not.

Don't have any major issues or sickness or I can't get up or anything like that.

So these are all true things.

These are all good things.

So where do we want to take this now, though?

We were going to discuss after giving thanks.

Okay.

The being grateful and being grateful.

Thinking about the hard things.

Okay.

Hard thing.

This should have been more than coffee.

No.

So, yeah, so.

So we've made some decisions recently that we're still.

Are you sure about the decision that we made?

No, I question it every single minute.

But I keep moving forward because if you stop and think too much about something, it's always not a good thing.

You have to keep pushing forward and you have to keep moving forward.

The plan will work itself out.

You have to have faith.

I mean, I think it was a good sermon today about faith, about faith, and about you.

Can't you.

It's visualizing.

Well, it's not only that, but it's.

You know, sometimes faith is looking beyond what's right here in front of you, and you got to see further ahead.

What do you see in this picture?

That was what the sermon was about.

Let's see if I can hold it up.

So.

So if you actually.

There we go.

Maybe you can.

You can get it.

Pause the video and get it.

The objective of it was, do you see what that picture really shows?

And funny thing is, my husband can see it, I can't.

I'm trying to get into focus now.

As many times as bring it close, pull it back, get your eyes focused.

Still couldn't see it.

I think it was like, was this a Salvador Dali who used to.

When he used to do his paintings, there was always some type of like, hidden message in there.

Well, this is like something you can't.

It can't see.

You've got to focus and relax your eyes to get it.

And you see a three dimensional picture.

It's just basically it's a three dimensional piece of art that's in there, that's kind of hidden.

But it's hard to see.

It's hard to see.

And I think that's.

Sometimes when you've made decisions.

Do you want to say what our decision is?

It's hard to see whether.

Sure.

We could say our decision is, is that we're selling our house.

Right.

Each time I say it, I get upset.

I don't know why, but we're selling.

Our house because a lot went into it.

There's a lot of years of things that we're going through.

We've only been here for five years.

It's.

To me, it's not necessarily the structure of the house.

Well, it's the things that we're all also having to go through to downsize and eliminate.

Does that bother you to have to go through this stuff and get rid of some things?

No, because I'm a firm believer that if you haven't used it and you haven't seen it in a long time, that there's something to be said about not Having it or holding on to it?

Why are you holding on to it?

You know what.

What's the purpose?

Now, some things I will say to you, I'm going to hold on to.

I may never use it.

I may only be looking at it.

Through.

Like a glass case of some sort.

But there's something there that I like, that you look at.

To me, it's like a painting.

You have some paintings that you look at and you really, really like them.

Oh, your chicken art and chicken stuff.

But I got chicken on the walls over here.

We have chicken plates up above.

Yeah, but I could.

I could see myself letting go of maybe one of those chickens over there, but I won't see myself getting rid of my chicken.

Or your chicken statues.

Or there's.

Or there.

Wait, I have a bunch of chickens.

No, no, you can't see them.

It's behind me.

Yeah, there's a chicken behind you.

Those are big chickens.

Yeah, those are tall chickens.

Those are heavy chickens.

No, but there's.

There's.

It's just going through it all.

There is a.

A level of overwhelm this time around for some odd reason, where.

When we sold the other house and we bought this one.

Is it because.

Is it because we're.

We're compacting the time frame?

Do you feel overwhelmed with the time frame and overwhelmed with finding a new place?

Finding a new place is very challenging.

I'm not gonna lie.

It has been a daunting.

I think it's more daunting than when looking for a house, honestly.

Because we're not buying a house.

We're renting.

And because we're renting, we want a.

Condo or an apartment.

We don't want a house.

We don't want a house because why do I want to mow somebody else's lawn?

I don't want that.

But finding that place, that.

That it's.

It's.

Well, it's finding.

It's finding a place that we both feel comfortable in and.

And sometimes we're not.

We are so not in.

Aligned.

It's not even fun.

I won't say.

I won't say that.

I won't say that.

No, no.

I would say it.

Okay, wait, wait.

We're in alignment of what we would really like to have in a place.

But there's some things that I am willing to give up for other things and you're not, so.

Because to me, it's the quiet and the view and the waterfront.

I would be able.

I'd be willing to sacrifice the updated kitchen and the Updated bathroom where you're not.

Although would I like to have the nice updated kitchen and updated bathroom?

Yes.

But I would be willing to compromise that for something else.

However, it's not that important.

What's more important to me is that we're both happy in a place.

We haven't found that.

Well, I think we have.

No, we haven't.

We have conceded to some extent certain things.

I think the last, I think the last one that we saw is pretty close.

Which one?

The cemetery one.

Oh, maybe don't use that because if my mother hears we're going to be right by a cemetery, she will have, we will have to have statues blessing us all the way around.

Well, we were not, we're not going to overlook the cemetery.

We wouldn't have to worry about our neighbors because they'd be pretty quiet.

They would be.

But it's, it's only like a little, it's a, it's a small, it's not like a massive one of those.

Like it's one, it's one.

You get rid of those people.

So you had to, you had to build the road around them.

You built, you build a whole like road structure around it.

Which is funny when you think about it.

It is a giant circle.

That's, that's the reason why they're the roundabout.

Yeah.

The cemetery is the roundabout plant.

They, they didn't want that road to go that way, but they didn't want to, they didn't want to move the people that have been there for years.

So that, that's how it stayed.

But that was, that was close.

But it still hasn't, it hasn't been 100%.

And I think, I think, I think what it's going to really come down to is what we can both agree with for a two year transition to see where that goes.

Right, right.

Because it's a, it's a place that, you know, probably not a long term place but a short term place.

But we don't want it to be short, short.

So I mean we're willing to go into it for two years and whatever it is.

I think you can, you can't really go in a place for a year.

There's not enough time there.

We can't, I don't want to have.

To, I don't have to deal with.

Although.

I don't think there's going to be much left.

Yeah.

So moving to another Place shouldn't be that bad unless I leave the United States, in which case that's a total.

That's a different scenario.

But yeah, I mean, we both our parents have homes and we see as you continue to age, the difficulties it is to keep upkeep the house.

I want to stop you right there.

Money is the main determining factor for this move.

Okay?

That's it.

You can, you can try to twist it any which way you want.

You can twist it by saying, I don't want to mow the lawn, which, by the way, you don't.

Or I don't want to have to assume responsibility for a house, which, by the way, you haven't.

We've somehow have gotten people to do things that theoretically we used to do ourselves when we first moved in the house.

We did a few things ourselves.

And we've done that point.

We've done some things since that point.

But yes, lately we've, we've, lately we've also found, we've also found decent people to work with.

So no, we have been able to put money aside to do some of those things.

But this is a transaction of sheer money.

The reason we look at our parents has nothing to do with the overwhelming aspect of taking care of a home.

Well, it's the byproduct of not having money that ended where they are now.

That's your, that is your main drive here.

It's about money.

It's not about.

If your parents and my parents had saved and had a wealth of money, it wouldn't matter.

Their house, it wouldn't matter that their.

House needed things, but their house also wouldn't be in the, in the condition that it's in if they had money either.

Correct.

Now explain that back up a little.

Bit because we don't know that for sure.

Your dad's philosophy in, in, in repairing his home and making his home more livable would have required something very early on in the beginning.

And I don't think that was in his DNA.

Well, I also think, though, that it was always about money, about.

But he has not.

But no.

But not.

But not.

They could have hired somebody to help do something.

And even if they couldn't, they've been in that house and they moved into that house early enough that if they took the time out at that point when they moved in 30 years ago.

It wasn't that long ago to do.

What they needed to do to fix the house, they could have done it.

They could have done it themselves.

So it wasn't about.

It wasn't about.

There was no.

There's no incentive in that.

But I.

A lot of it was about money.

This is about money.

This is nothing to do.

Our move is about money.

Our move is about money.

Our move is about money because we did not plan accordingly and we did not invest accordingly, and we still spend too much money.

When we bought this house, we had some debt, but we cleared out a lot of debt.

We.

We cleared out a lot of debt.

And when we bought this house, we didn't go into debt right away.

We had money set aside to do.

What we needed to do to.

We were in the snowball effect, and we were.

The only thing we had left.

The student loans we had.

Yeah.

Which was a couple hundred thousand dollars.

The student loans were all we had.

We bought this house.

Correct.

And we went further into debt.

Not only did we go into debt to fix the house and do the things we wanted to the house, which pays off, but we also increased our personal debt, not a little bit substantially.

So this is a money transaction.

We just happen to live in an area where our house doubled in price from when we bought it five years ago.

20.

19.

Yeah.

To now our house is doubled.

So can we.

Can we make the money we owe on this house and pay off all of our debt?

Yes.

So this is a money decision.

This is getting about getting back to zero with a little bit of cushion so that we can take the money that we have and that we can.

That we can.

That we can earn because we still, knock on wood, have a job.

But that could.

We could sell this house in two months from after we sell this house.

Yeah, that could happen.

We could be unemployed.

But it would.

It wouldn't make any difference.

Correct.

It wouldn't have.

It wouldn't.

It would be in a.

It wouldn't have been.

We'll be in a better.

Sit.

Better position than we would would be now if we both lost our job.

Correct.

So.

But this is a money.

Money.

Okay, we got that.

That's.

It's a money decision.

But it's like.

It's because we didn't.

We didn't do the right thing.

So the question is, do you think you're going to sell this house, pay off all your debt, and still do the right thing?

Yeah, I do.

Well, let me put it to you this way.

We got nine years because we're both not spring chickens.

And in nine years, we will be 70 years old.

And that's the question.

How much will we have saved up?

Only 69.

How much will we have saved up for that next phase of our lives.

That's a.

That's a big.

You got it.

You got to make your money work for you.

Yes.

And we're.

We have the power to earn right now for the next.

And.

And now we're not.

We won't be applying money to debt, will be applying money to.

For investments and savings.

Investments and savings.

So.

So, yeah.

So it's.

These are hard decisions.

These are hard things because you also have to be prepared to where you're going to live.

And finding that balance between what he's looking for and what I want are very.

We're not in line.

We are.

We are in line because I want the same nice things that you do.

I just.

But you'll appreciate a view and, And, And.

And the ability to walk downstairs and go fishing.

Yes, I would appreciate that.

And I know that's not going to work for you, so I understand that.

That's okay.

I'll just get a boat.

So I'm going to reiterate.

We're doing this to get out of debt, and I know.

So what does Mr. Gregor say after all that?

I didn't say.

Well.

Your son wants to.

Wants to share a boat with me.

So.

So that's so reliable.

I didn't say I was going into debt for.

I didn't say I'm going into debt for it, but I can still work for it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, look, something's got to happen if I can't.

If I can't get the view.

If I can't get the view and the.

And the ability to walk down and go fishing and make friends there.

I can make other friends, find other friends that have boats.

You can make friends anywhere you go.

I know.

Because people already have boats.

You're just that kind of guy sometimes.

Oh, man.

So the lesson here is, if anybody's watching this, that's still younger.

Younger, first of all.

If anyone's watching this at all.

The second thing is, is if you're.

If you are younger or whatever age you're at, plan and pay yourself first and don't go into debt.

Pay yourself first.

And what do you mean by that?

That means before taxes are taken out, you take out a chunk of that money, at least 10% of whatever you're making, and it goes away automatically.

You never see it.

So that's invest in yourself first.

10% you're going to take out before taxes, and you're going to set that money aside and you're never going to touch it, and you're Never going to touch it.

And you're going to just let it until you're retired.

Grow, grow, grow, grow, grow.

That's what you're going to do.

And then you're going to have to learn to live below your means, not above your means, below your means.

And that's really hard in this society when there's so much coming at you and there's.

They make it so easy for you to walk away, easy for you to go get a car, easy for you.

To finance away with what you want and have to pay for it and.

Have to pay for it later.

And then, and then making all those payments suddenly build up.

Yeah.

So.

But pay yourself first 10% out of your paycheck automatically before taxes put it away.

You never see it.

So I would say that first thing.

If I had known that, who knows, who knows where we would be?

Yes.

And if you don't know how to manage money, you don't know what to do.

You don't know any of that.

Learn, learn.

I mean, ask Chat, GPT.

What should I do?

You know, and, and start with a plan.

Because, you know, something that my parents didn't teach me.

My parents.

Parents didn't teach them.

School doesn't teach you.

And, you know, that's something.

That's something we just need to do, you know?

Yes.

Okay.

I'm losing myself.

Being just on here by myself.

Doesn't work very well.

You told me to look because somebody is coming because why?

We're Facebook.

We are Facebooking so much stuff.

Facebook marketplace.

We're trying to sell stuff so that we can.

So, so we can figure out what.

To do with it.

Are coming out in droves.

Whatever you do, don't, don't list holiday.

Holiday china and holiday kitchenware in the holiday season, especially at a low price.

Now, if you had to put $300 on it instead of 30.

But it's, it's not worth that.

But then, and then I said to myself, go downstairs in the basement and look at all the rest of the Christmas decorations you're not going to take with you.

And maybe now's a good time to put them on Facebook until I realize that I'm not joking.

A set of.

A set of eight dishes, eight plates, eight bowls, a serving platter, butter and salt and pepper shakers.

We're not talking of like cups and saucers and all this other stuff.

Right.

I mean, it's really not that much.

I put it on for $30.

I'm not joking when I tell you I have gotten easily 50 messages.

They all want it now, but then.

But then, guess what?

Nobody shows up.

They say, is it available?

Yeah, because that's the default setting in Facebook Marketplace.

It's like, hello, the ads up, it's available.

Okay, so.

And you can write that in your ad, too.

Yeah, I write it in the ad.

If it's.

If you see it, it's available.

It's still available.

Don't ask the question.

But then.

Then you get.

You have a little bit of a correspondence, they're interested, and then you try to submit on a.

Then, Then they.

A day and a time, and you go radio silent.

All of a sudden, that whole thing just changed.

So it has been nothing but totally surprising.

Out of all the things I've put on Facebook, that those dishes sold like eight times.

And it's amazing to me, but I get it.

It's the holiday, and it's a holiday setting, and it's a pretty holiday setting, but still, I was just like, it's only eight pieces.

I had the.

The.

Okay.

If you have a family for four, it works.

It.

Even if you invite the in laws.

And the parents, you still have plates.

Yep.

Yes.

This is true.

Very true.

But, yeah, so that's been.

That's been.

That's been fun.

But, yeah, big decisions, big moves, a lot of deep breathing.

Yeah.

And a lot of.

It's.

It's hard to.

And honest, Honestly, it's hard to have the conversation with each other about this because I don't know.

Why is it so hard?

I ask that because sometimes I don't want to ask the question.

You know, I'll avoid the confrontation or the discussion about hard decisions.

We'll both avoid it.

Yeah.

In our own way of that.

And then we end up getting pissed off or grumpy about it or.

I'll ask you too many times, are you okay?

What's wrong with you today?

What's happening?

You know, because you won't outright come out and tell me what's going on.

But sometimes it's not about you, and you make this about you.

I have to define what I'm feeling so that you would know how to approach this, how to approach the subject.

You know, sometimes you just need to let it go and not worry so much about what I'm going through because I have to digest myself, and it's not.

That's fine.

But if.

But if you're.

If you're wanting to discuss the decision that we're.

That we're making, if there's something that.

Has to be discussed, trust Me, I'll discuss it with you.

But I'm not.

I don't need to go through with it every step of the way.

That's.

That's you.

And it's that constant digging that will make me.

I know it'll make you insane.

Well, it makes me.

What makes me insane is.

Is you don't like quiet.

That's what makes you insane.

No.

You know the best way to get.

To get under your crawl.

Don't say a word.

Not even a peep.

Don't you.

Word.

No, it's.

It's.

That is like Chinese.

There's a lot of nails on the board.

There's a lot of times that we don't say a word.

But I can tell that's okay because we're in our own thoughts.

But when.

But no, it's okay because we'll even sit down and have breakfast and.

And we'll be in our own thoughts and not say a lot.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, you'll be looking at your phone or I'll be looking at my phone.

Yeah.

And we'll be.

And we'll be looking for a particular thing or a reason or something like that, but we'll be in our own space.

But this is different because this space, I can feel it.

It doesn't have.

It's not about the quietness.

I can just feel that something's off, you know?

Sure.

Everything's off.

Okay.

But stop trying to quantify it.

I'm not quantifying it.

No.

Okay.

Live in your own little reality of what it is, and I can live in my reality of what it is.

I know we're both processing things, and we're processing things in our own way and we're trying to figure out how we feel about it, what it.

What it means.

Are we making the right decision?

All the above.

And sometimes we just have a little.

Have to have faith.

The other question is sometimes, am I listening only to myself or am I listening to what God really wants for us?

You know, and sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish that because my own head is too loud, too loud.

That I don't take the quiet to listen to what really needs to be what I need to hear.

So on that note, we should probably edit this.

But we won't.

So if you have an idea for the next episode or you have some comments about this one or you want to discuss it further, let us know.

Yeah, give us a comment.

And until next time, bye.

Bye.