Transcript:

Hello there. I have a wonderful guest for you today. I've been on her podcast, her name is Candy Motzek, and yes, we will have that in the show notes for you. In case you need to know how to spell it. Candy is an author. She's a podcast host, like I said, and a business coach for life coaches. She helps smart people start successful coaching businesses. So if any of you out there are like thinking about it, she's a person you might wanna check in with. She believes that coaching transforms lives, and that being a coach is a calling. She helps her clients get unstuck and feel more confidence and clarity so they can play bigger, and so they can sign clients and create more meaningful success. Woohoo, love the meaningful. She is a recovering quote unquote, corporate executive and engineer who combines practical strategies and mindset in her calming unique approach. And I will vouch for that. She does have a very calming approach. I haven't coached with her, but even just in her demeanor getting to know her, I almost instantly feel calmer when I'm talking with her. She's got a nice vibe. So, here she is, Ms. Candy Motzek.

Oh, thank you for having me. Gosh. I'm excited for the conversation.

Fantastic, Candy. So you and I were chit-chatting about my clients and in the audience, and they're loving to know what your journey has been, how you overcame things and all of that. So I'm just gonna hand it to you and let you start wherever you want to.

Okay. So, probably the one that I think about the most is the becoming an official coach. And so when people say to me, how long have you been a coach for? I say, oh, probably about 50 years. And I think that that's true. And then I found out that there was this thing called coaching. And so that the thing that I already was actually was a thing in quotation marks. And so then I did my training and became a coach. But the journey to that is kind of like many of our journeys, you know, it's that it's our own personal hero's journey where things are just not going the way you thought life was going to. And for me, the weird part was that everything looked really great on the outside. You know, I had a great job.

I had a great marriage. I had wonderful children. And you know, I had a sports car. We've got a vacation property, we traveled, like everything was outwardly fine, and then inside felt like crap. It just felt like hollow. Now, I've always been a pretty spiritual person. And so my sort of normal way of being was this, you know, at 50 years old thinking, what do I wanna be when I grow up? Or at my most common question, which I think is a little bit odd, was, what is my purpose? What, you know, what is my purpose? Like, I remember being 12 years old and wanting to know what my life purpose was, and then I was still asking that same question at 50. So, the journey started as things looked great on the outside, not so great on the inside.

And probably the most pivotal moment for me was that I was on a cruise and we were down in Antarctica. And you know, for most people who have seen, you know, any of the sailing ship things, when you round the cape around, you know, southern Chile, it is hairy, hairy water. There's rocks down there, there's the place where the Atlantic and the Pacific come together, and it is crazy rough. And so that's what I expected.

And you, wait a second. You were on a sailboat?

No, on a cruise ship. It was a small cruise.

A cruise ship. Okay.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. . And so, you know, it came the day that it was the day to round the cape, and I was like, I worried about this day and then we woke up and I got my morning coffee and they said, well, the weather's pretty good.

We're gonna open up the front of the ship. And so to go out on the very front where all the ropes and tackle are and everything on the ship so that you can watch us rounding the cape, well, the water was flat, calm, the sun was out, and it was about 65 degrees. Like it was a beautiful day. I had a full cup of coffee and there wasn't even a ripple in my coffee. Right? So we went one way and there was, we went one way, we passed it with the cape on the right, and then the captain came on again and said, this is incredible. I've never seen anything like this. We're gonna turn around and do it again. And so then we went and we passed the cape going the other way as well.

Oh my goodness. He just couldn't get enough.

No, exactly. And so for me, the big lesson was that I'd been so scared and it was just nothing. It was like, it was amazing. Right? So first off, how often do you scare yourself into not creating your better life? Right? So there's one thing.

Oh my goodness. Yes.

Into not saying yes to yourself. Right? And then the other thing was to stand there on the front of the ship and look at the water and look at the memorial on the southern tip of all of the people who had had these dreams and died. And their dreams were either their dreams were dead or they were dead. And that still even happens now for people going through that water. And I was like, wow.

Mm-hmm.

Those people wanted to live their life and they did it. And so that for me was the turning point. This like, well, it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. And there was so many people, it's a massive memorial. You can see it from quite a long distance out on the water. And to see that memorial to all those people whose lives had been lost and whose dreams had been lost and their gifts and superpowers and all of their callings with them. Right?

Oh my goodness. Yeah.

Yeah. It was really moving unexpectedly so. And so for me, that was the pivot. I came back from that cruise and decided that it was time to sign up for coach training. I had been delaying and procrastinating for years.

Oh, wait a second.

Yeah.

So let's just back up. So there you are. You're like, on the, in the beautiful waters.

Yeah.

At 65 degrees, you're sipping your coffee. You're like...

I know!

This is a miracle. Right?

Yeah.

And, and so what shifted inside you? Can you remember, like you were alluding to a, you said a little bit about it, that you had been so scared about the whole thing, and then there it was so easy, you know, it was nothing. There was nothing to be made. And then how did you make that transition to apply it to your life? And that got you, like inspired or motivated to do the coaching?

Mm. I had been thinking of the coaching for a long time and holding it off. And so I think it was just that culmination of all these threads first that it wasn't as scary as it had seemed. Second, that there were many people who had decided to go for it and to live the life of their dreams who had died. Yeah. And they had tried, and I was not. So there was that, and then just that it was, there was a third spread and it was that this thought that it is like, what am I waiting for? You know? so it's just, it's all, it was like a little, not one clear thought, but sort of like this connecting of these threats.

That's beautiful. So yes. So it took kind of multiple angles and experiences, right? Like you tapped into the courage, right? And the passion of those people before who were so willing to risk their lives. I mean, you don't, one does a risk their life usually in coaching, but you, that the impact of that really helped you see like, wow, I don't have to be holding back so much. I can go for this. And it kind of, it sounds like it hit you on multiple levels with all those threads and they sort of unraveled and an opening was created.

Yeah. Yeah. And you said something about, you know, you don't normally kind of risk your life with coaching and you don't risk your physical life, but when you're risking your, who you're meant to be, it's almost as bad, right?

It's like it certainly feels that way, right?

Like it's like, you're the only you that's ever going to exist on this planet ever, and you're here with for a reason. And then just to let that go, like, it's almost worse than dying physically, you know?

Oh, that's amazing. Yes. So I love that you brought this up because it reminds me of what things were like for me, and I won't spend much time on this, but just quickly as a singer to share my voice, right? To sing for something to perform was always so extremely scary for me because it was like, oh my gosh, if I'm not accepted or not liked, it's really about me, you know? And like there's no hiding and there's this rawness and plus the heart is connected and all of that. And for you, it sounds like coaching is very similar to that, right? You're saying, this is my purpose and there's just one me and I'm gonna put it out there. And you had held yourself back before, but I'm so glad that you got all those threads untangled and the connections made, and you said yes to yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. And that really is that right? That saying yes to your soul. Hmm. Yeah.

So in your life now, how do you stay connected to sort of that bigger purpose?

Well, I feel it is one thing, and so it's noticing that it's present. I have a pretty standard morning routine that I've been practicing for years now that include meditation and journaling and EFT tapping and all of that. But most of all, I feel it. And, you know, so when I say I feel it, I feel it on multiple levels, I feel it bodily. I know when I'm aligned I can feel the emotion of it as well. And I feel that time, you know, that flow, right? Like when you're in conversation with somebody and I know that it's not me asking those questions, that it's somebody speaking through me. And so I just, I feel it on all these sort of different places.

So when you say it's somebody speaking through you, what do you mean exactly?

So either it's me just opening my mouth and the words are there, or I hear the voice and then I repeat what it says. And I sometimes do that with writing and sometimes with spoken. There's just a place that I go that is open and it's whatever needs to be said comes through, you know? And so it's like, oh yes, I'm this person and this individual, but all of the work, what, you know, like that sort of, that capital work that we do in this world is really the divine shining through, right? And that happens to be the way the divine works through me. Yeah.

Yes, exactly. I love that. So it's sort of, sounds to me kind of like a combination, maybe if we're gonna name it, cuz people love to do that, is sort of this beautiful combination of your soul and your divinity flowing through you. And there may even be some kind of channeling happening at the same time where perhaps you're tapping into universal consciousness or wisdom of the universe. Yeah,

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Mm-hmm. .

Yeah. And it sounds like that really moves you, when that happens, touches your heart.

It's so yes, and it sort of reinforces, right? It's like when that happens, I know that things are aligned. That's my sign that it's truly aligned. And then just to keep going, right?

Yes. Keep going. My next question for you was kind of along those lines around like, well, what do you do when you need to get back on track?

Hmm. So either meditation, and then connect to that space, that voice. And also nature, trees, anything green movement. Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't have a really specific X, Y, Z. This is what I do. I think it's more that like, that like I might be kind of lost in the woods and then finding myself back on the path again. Sometimes I might walk and cross over the path and go, oh my gosh, there it was back there and I might have to cross over it a few times. And I'm like, it's here, right? This

This the right one. Yes. Okay.

Stop and look and you'll see it, right? So sometimes I'm kind of thrashing around in the bush and other times it's smooth.

Well, I also love this metaphor for you because you were sharing with me how around your she shed, where you're talking to me from today, your special office is surrounded by trees.

It is.

And that there's this beautiful energy that has kind of uplifted things or it creates a beautiful sound. Like we were talking about vocal quality and things of that nature. And there you are. So there is this part of your soul is being drawn to the forest, the trees, the nature around you. And sometimes just like everybody else, you can get lost or you can keep running over the path and going, well, where am I really supposed to be? . But you find your way back. Yeah. And I get the sense from you that like, you stay open and you're watching, you're really paying attention. You know, what are those signs? Right? How do I know when I'm back?

Yeah, definitely. And it's that feeling, right? That physical sensation usually for me that I can feel it, it's like, oh, there it is. Found it .

Oh, nice. So can you describe that physical sensation?

Yeah. so usually I'm really good at staying grounded. And so I am almost always grounded, but it's kind of the chill on the back of my neck. Sometimes it's on my shoulders, but mostly it's on the back of my neck, and goes down my spine. So it's like, as soon as I, like when I logged on to have this conversation, I logged on and there you were. And it was like, oh, there it is. And it just did it again. So

Nice. So you've discovered what the validation is and you can recognize it over and over and over and it's effortless now.

It is. It is. And I think once you notice it once and then the paying attention really, really makes a difference. Yeah.

Yes. The paying attention is a big part, like recognizing what it is. It's not just a random sensation.

Exactly.

That it's actually a much more profound signal.

um mm-hmm.

Yes. So candy, this has been absolutely delightful. And before we go, I want to know if you have a piece of guidance or a tip that you'd like to leave my listeners with.

Yeah. And so if they are feeling like they're kind of thrashing around in the woods, know that the path is there. Like, it's not that there actually is a path, like when you know that there is a path and then it's just that you're not quite on the path. It's helpful. And then the other piece that I always try to remember, you know, when you feel like you're disconnected from your true self or you're just not quite living that life that you're meant to be living is that that life wants you even more than you miss it. You know, like, so when you have that time of like, um, I should be doing something different, just know that it's like it wants you. So it makes it so much easier to find when you know that, you know, you're both kind of working towards it, right?

Mm-hmm. So you're really saying there that's really luscious, that it's almost like the divine of saying yes, you know? Yes, we want to do this together. You're not alone in this.

Yeah, exactly. And the weird thing is that, and I see this with my clients all the time, is that, that life wants them more even than their current discomfort. And it's surprising when they realize that how easy it is to find it, you know?

Mm-hmm. ,

They're not pushing the rock up the hill, it's pulling them towards them.

Yes. It's a force. It's like a magnetic force that they could say yes to.

It's super fun too.

. Yes. Well, this has been super fun, and I definitely wanna make sure that you let people know, let my folks know how they can contact you. Mm.

Thank you. I really appreciate that opportunity. So the easiest way is, if you like my voice and you like what I say is come and listen to my show, come and listen to my podcast. It's called She Coaches, Coaches, and I talk about coaching things, but I also talk about other things as well. So I would love to invite you to just come and tune in and listen and, uh, be part of that community too.

Fantastic. Yes. So you can join Candy on her podcast and also in the show notes, we will have her other contact information, her socials and all that stuff. So Candy, thank you for being part of Say Yes to your Soul and for also just being a fabulous role model for that in the world.

Thank you. Oh, really enjoyed the conversation, and thank you so much again for having me.

You're welcome. All right. Blessings and light. May you have an abundant day. Bye bye for now.