Hey There,

how resilient are you ?

what is resilience and how can we be more resilient ?

the covid confinement has been a huge challenge for so many.

I find it extremely timely to talk about our ability to deal with stress and change.

in this episode you will find tools on how to be more relaxed in life.

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

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Unknown: 00:00:01

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And I'm very grateful to have you here today

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to spend some time with you. If you want to unwind from your

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busy day, if you want to rest and relax, then this is the

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place to be.

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Today I want to talk about resilience, resilience has been

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a huge topic for all of us during COVID. Many people were

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challenged on so many level all at once, and struggle with

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depression, loneliness, mental health in general, and just

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feeling powerless and hopeless. And I think it's most important

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to talk about resilience, because it's during these times

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where we feel lonely, and have the time actually to reflect

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about how we live, that we can work on our resilience for the

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future. And those tools, those thoughts can even have us right

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there in the moment. So I'm very excited to be posting this

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episode today. Because I feel I can

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give you a lot of things to think about and act upon, that

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will make you feel good. Maybe not instantly, but within a day

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or two. So the number one thing is

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what is resilience. So that we define resilience, resilience is

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that when we encounter a stressful situation adversity,

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that we have

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the tools, the confidence,

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the positivity in our bag, to face that challenge, gracefully.

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And in doing so, we need to be open minded. And I don't like to

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say we have to have a plan B, but think of a contingency plan

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where you have several resources to reach one goal. So if

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happiness, if well being is your one goal that you want to reach

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right now, then you have to have several tools that can get you

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there, you cannot just focus on one thing, because this is what

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made it so hard for so many people with COVID.

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If it was people who were very extroverted and outgoing and

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sporty, group sports, for example, and this was all taken

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away from you within 24 hours, then very quickly, you

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would cheat and give up and feel hopeless. Because sitting on a

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couch at home and watching Netflix all day long, is not

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what brings you happiness. But we have to have that plan B to

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be more resilient. So if you are a very sporty person and only

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focus on that, this is awesome and remarkable. But think about

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the bad things that can happen. And I'm resisting here to say

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bad things. Because I don't want you to focus on the negatives

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now. But I want you to be more resilient in having an open mind

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and knowing that if one thing is not possible to do, then you can

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go back to that other thing that you'd like to do as well that

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brings you joy as well. So as a sports person, maybe you can

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discover that you've very crafty and that you love to paint and

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it brings you so much joy it stimulates your creative side of

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the brain. And it is okay then to not go out and be sporty, but

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to paint instead. And this is just a very simplified example.

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But I think you know what I mean? When it comes to

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relationships, you cannot just focus on one person, you can't

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get everything from one person it is not possible. You'd be

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overwhelming that person and for a lot of couples who are stuck

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in a

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apartment No, I can see that happening because the one person

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is maybe very clingy. The other person needs more space and you

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can really

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yeah,

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maybe communicate that at the moment.

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Because you've never been caught in an apartment, and then the

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fighting starts and discontentment. So when it comes

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to relationships, you have to maintain your friendships, you

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have to nurse your friendships. And you cannot expect everything

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from your partner, because imagine that partner going away,

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or you guys breaking up, then of course break up would challenge

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you on so much higher intensity,

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then if you had kept your friendships close at the same

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time, so those are two examples that I want to bring here, then

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there is purpose do you feel a sense of purpose. And if not,

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then I want to tell you that it is so easy to feel fulfilled in

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serving others and to feel a sense of purpose.

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Facebook is awesome for that, when you look at all the people

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complaining and all the opinions that there is out there.

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You can find so many non for profit

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organizations

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and

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just connect with people who are active who are changing the

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world. And you don't even have to be leaving your apartment,

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you can be on your computer right there and investigate

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where you want to put your energy and feel purposeful. Or

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you can ask people around you, if they need your help if they

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need your resources. And it will give you a huge sense of

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satisfaction. If you have that little something that can

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support others.

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And supporting others, you help them to be more resilient, and

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resilient. Sorry. And in doing so you create a beautiful

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friendship or a good solid bond. And in return, you are resilient

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to like it's a total win win situation, when you help another

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person to be more confident and more resilient.

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Then there's the positive focus.

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If you think about change, and change is a nuisance to you. And

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change is always challenging for you, you will have to come to a

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point at some point in your life

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where change is a constant, you have to see that change will

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always happen. And that things will always

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move and

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fade and come close and look for distance. And

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it is very hard to live a happy life if you are clinging to a

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moment to an experience to

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pick with a person. So if you can change that mindset and know

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that change is a given, then you won't waste energy and time and

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trying to fight or resistant. You can change you can see

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change as a positive thing. There's always negatives, but

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there's always a positive side to and you can train your brain,

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like a muscle to see the positive sides.

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Then strengthen your confidence muscle I want to talk about

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next.

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How do we do that? See, put yourself in a position where you

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feel confident. And next time you experience that really feel

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how you feel in that moment and memorize it. So let's think

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about a cook, who is been thrown,

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who has been thrown into a kitchen where there's just

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50% of the ingredients that he or she usually uses. But in the

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past, he learned to cook with minimal ingredients and learn to

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be very creative. So that personnel is being thrown into

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the kitchen with not enough agreements. And you will see

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that he will not panic right away. He will remember how it

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felt to be creative in the moment with only few resources

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in the past and we'll be able to apply it now in the present. So

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this is how you can strengthen your

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Confidence muscle, do something that you're really good at,

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memorize that feeling. And then try something new. And try to

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apply that confident feeling into that situation. And you

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will see you will approach that new hobby, that new experience

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very, very differently. And with a way more open mind with less

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anxiety, and you'll do awesome.

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Then have that question always ready.

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So whenever you are in a situation, you don't want to be

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asked yourself right away? What would make you feel good now?

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And then you reflect, and you see.

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And hopefully it's not binge eating, binge watching Netflix.

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Hopefully, you can even go back to my previous episodes where I

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talk about how good are you with yourself,

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where provide you with tools that are genuinely supporting

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your well being. So in that situation, you find yourself not

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knowing what to do next, then look back, ask you a question,

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what would make you feel good now, and then act upon it right

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away.

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It is very individual for everybody, like very different.

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So for one person meeting up with people is energizing and

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awesome. And for others, it's draining. Then we have super

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sporty people who use sport to Yeah, get rid of that. Stuck

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energy and movement just helps them greatly to feel good about

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themselves. And then we have people who would rather be

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meditating or sitting at home on a couch and just reflecting and

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resting and maybe massaging their feet. So there's very,

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very different ways of taking care of yourself. And with this

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pocket heat posca level up. When this podcast here, I just want

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to Yeah, provide you with the tools and make you aware and

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make you curious about yourself and your needs and how you can

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meet those needs.

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So let's look about three areas that we can kind of dissect out

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of your wellbeing, there's the mental, then there's the

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emotional, and the physical. If you want to go back to my

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episode, where I talk about

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your

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tools that you can use on a daily to make you feel better,

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then please go back It is called How good are you with yourself?

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How kind are you with yourself? It's pretty much at the

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beginning like episode number three or something. And there

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you can

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pick out what is best for you What makes you feel good. So

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that question, what would make you feel good now is the one

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that I want you to take home today. So we have the mental,

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the physical and the emotional.

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And when it comes to the mental, we are some people who love to

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plan and have like a sense of control and structure. They

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absolutely love that and can go to bed relaxed at night. And

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then there's people who love to live in the moment and let

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things happen and spontaneous is their thing to go.

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to support yourself mentally. A big thing is also to ask for

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support.

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As someone who is professional and the area that you struggle

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with, there's no shame in it. I feel that our society is

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drifting more and more into

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you having to be independent and individualist. But we are a

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social species we highly depend on each other and asking for

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support as a beautiful thing.

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Which can help your mental health and your mental

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resilience in a situation that is uncomfortable and it can be a

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counselor it can be an architect, it can be a teacher

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It can be any person who is a professional and the area that

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you're struggling with.

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When it comes to the physical, take action,

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and

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look at your lifestyle.

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your lifestyle is highly influencing your well being, I

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talked about it about

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your food, and water intake and the way, like how we do those

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daily rituals, let's call them highly influences how resilient

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you are in stressful situations.

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It's so obvious when you look at it from an outsider perspective,

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that person that is struggling with

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weight, with diabetes, with confidence and self image will

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have way more difficult in a stressful situation, then a

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person that has healthy body and feels confident and steps out

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into this world feeling good about him or herself.

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So, which are the last styles that are supporting your best

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interests? And how can you get back to that, and work on your

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resilience on a physical level,

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then we have the emotional

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pie pied. And there, it is very critical to learn how to express

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yourself in a way that people can and want to listen to you.

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I talked about it earlier, about aggression and how aggression is

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not the way

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to bring a point to the table is not a way you can bring people

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to listen to you. So if you are in a situation where you

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struggle is very important to learn how the other person will

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receive your message, and then adapt and express yourself in a

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way that the other person will receive it well, and support

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you. And then listen to your inner truth. And really ask

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yourself,

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what is the best for me to do here? Do I just have to leave

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that situation? Do I just have to be patient? Do I just have to

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come to accept that change is a big part of life and will always

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be a constant?

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Is my inner truth fight or flight? Or can I rest and relax

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and just wait and see.

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So this was my episode about resilience. I hope I brought you

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some

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some things to think about here. And also feel good about because

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you are in charge of your happiness and you have to look

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into yourself. What is best to you in a given situation.

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Sometimes we can't look at family

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and friends because they are so very different and you can't be

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limited by beliefs of others. You have your own truth. And

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please follow that always at all times. I'm sending my love out

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to you. You were listening to the Borealis experience. If you

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liked that episode, please share rate or review and we'll be

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meeting up very soon again. Have a good rest of your day. Bye bye