On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I talk about what it really means to have the courage to be loved.

By taking a look through the lens of the one-and-only Dolly Parton’s life, legacy, faith, humor, and big-hearted generosity.

I share how Dolly managed to be wicked authentic, outspoken, and spiritually grounded!

All while still being one of the most beloved humans on the planet (a recent poll out of UMass Lowell gave her an amazing net favorability rating of +65!).

I also explore the difference between trying to be “palatable” for "likes" versus being fully yourself and letting people love (or not) the real you.

If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, fear of judgment, or holding back your true self in real life (or online), this episode is a loving invitation to flex your courage myuscles...

And to show up more honestly, to take a stand for what you believe in, and to allow yourself to be truly seen, known, and loved! ❤️

KAREN KENNEY BIO:

Karen Kenney is a writer, speaker, podcaster, certified spiritual mentor, and coach.

She’s known for her dynamic storytelling, her sense of humor, her Boston accent, and her no-bullshit approach to spirituality, self​-development, and transformational change work.

Karen helps people to navigate this whole “being human” experience using a variety of practical tools, personal stories, and universal principles.

She's been a yoga teacher for 25+ years, has been a Thai Yoga Massage practitioner since 2008.

She's also a Gateless Writing Instructor, the creator of WRITE CLUB , and the host of The Karen Kenney Show podcast.

She coaches clients individually in her 1-to-1 program: THE QUEST and in her HEART-TO-HEART DAYS using Voxer. She also leads a group program and community called THE NEST.

CONNECT WITH KAREN:

Website: http://karenkenney.com/

Podcast: https://www.karenkenney.com/podcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karenkenneylive/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenkenneylive/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KarenKenney

Hey, you guys! Welcome to the Karen Kenney

Show. I'm super duper excited to be here together with you. So,

thank you for tuning in and listening. Like many of you, I'm

sure I've been thinking so much about Dolly Parton and her

passing at 80 years old recently, and so I've had a lot

of Dolly Dolly Parton on the mind and in my heart. And one of

the things I wanted to talk to you about, I mean, clearly, if

you've paid attention and you've done any research, you know, not

everybody knows what an incredible humanitarian she was.

I mean, of course, she was well known for, you know, around the

world for being a brilliant singer and songwriter and

entertainer and all those things, but there was so much

more to Dolly. There was so much more to her, and she's one of

those people that she was like. I think she was fierce. I think

she was fiery. I think she was funny. I think she was. I think

she was a lot of things. I think she was like she was a musical

prodigy. I mean, she was creative beyond all get out. But

there's something else about Dolly that I want to talk about

today that I think can really benefit all of us. It's such a

great reminder, and we're going to get into that. So buckle up

for safety. Stay tuned for that. But how I want to start is this.

Now, if you're a loyalist, now if you've been around the block

with me a few times, you might know that I have a bookcase. I

mean, I have bookcases everywhere. Take a look around.

That's one of the things I have the most of in my house. But I

also have a bookcase in my bathroom, and while I've been

thinking about Dolly, like on repeat, I was also like in the

bathroom and I was looking at my bookcase. And this book, like

this book title, jumped off the shelf at me. I'm gonna hold up

this book that I'm talking about. It's called "The Courage

to Be Disliked, right? The courage to be disliked. The

subtitle is the Japanese phenomenon that shows you how to

change your life and achieve real happiness, and it's by

Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitaki Koga. It's a really really

fascinating book, and so it sold over like 3 million copies, and

so it's it's really about here's the happy of this sucker on the

back. So it says, discover why unhappiness is something you

choose for yourself. Life is not a competition. Admitting fault

is not defeat. What real freedom is, how to exist in the present,

how you can be happy now and so much more. So while I was

looking at this book and thinking about Dolly, I had a

thought in my head. So this concept, this idea of the

courage to be disliked-I've talked about this before on

other episodes. Like wicked long time ago, I did an episode, and

I said, I think the title of the episode was like, "If everybody

likes you, you're doing it wrong. And that might seem like

it's in conflict with what I'm about to say now, but it's not.

It's kind of like what I would say: seems different, because

here's the thing that Dolly Patton did that. I think is

amazing. She didn't just have the courage to be disliked.

Dolly had the courage to be loved. Let me say that again. In

my mind, in my opinion, as humble as it may be, my belief,

I think Dolly Patton had the courage to be loved, and what I

mean by that is she lived like full out. She put on no airs. I

mean, she was just like this is me, this is who I am. She spoke

her mind. Now you would think that it would be wicked hard to

be loved, kind of universally by being opinionated, by taking a

stand, by saying what you think, saying what you believe. Because

of course, certain people might disagree with you, etc. But

Dolly Patton had the ability to take a stand, use her voice. Be

authentic. Be genuine. Be who she was. To give a shit. To be

passionate about things. To let her enthusiasm show. Right? She

wasn't neutral. She wasn't quiet. She was a person. I mean,

take a look at Dolly.

I mean, Dolly always has talked about and joked about the way

that she appeared. You know, even the thing about like dumb

blonde jokes, she would say, "Oh, dumb blonde jokes don't

bother me because a, I know I'm not dumb, and b, I know I'm not

blonde, right? I just thought it was like everything about Dolly.

She just had this really incredible way, and even though

she was incredibly public, right, she was out there. All

the time, she had this whole other part of her life and

herself. Like a lot of people don't even know that she was

married, that she had a husband, Kyle, and she was with Kyle for

like 60 years. Like they had this incredible love story, you

know. But I love this idea of the courage to be loved by being

fully yourself, I mean it's an extraordinary thing what she was

able, and I don't even want to say to pull off because it's not

like I think that she was trying. I think what she did is

she just really trusted in who she was, and she was a woman of

faith, right? So she believed in God. She talked about church on

Sunday. She talked about you know she used the word God

unabashedly, and it's a beautiful thing to to to see the

way though that she represented her faith through her acts and

through what she did. That she was actually a woman who kind of

followed up on that, if you want to call it. I I'm not I'm not

sure like I don't know if Dolly would call herself a Christian

or whatever, but Dolly certainly lived I would say like on this

path of love where she loved all kinds of people, and by doing

that she also had the courage to be loved, and so here's here's

the thing I want I'm going to show you this. So, I saw this

online. I thought it was so fantastic. So, at UMass Lowell

in April 2026, they did a poll about popularity and who's liked

and stuff like that. Okay, and so I'll just hold this up for

you, like really quickly, so you can see it. Just you can see

what it looks like. For those of you who are listening, this is

like a little graph, and it's got a line down the middle, and

on the left side is the don't like, and on the right side is

the like, right? So the little lines will dictate, right, if

you're a positive or a negative. So Barack Obama on the like

side, if you're thinking about from zero to 100, right? He's

like a plus 14. Like people like like Barack Obama, like plus 14.

Taylor Swift is like a plus three. Now I'm just reading

what's on the paper. Don't get your panties in a bunch, right?

If you're like Taylor should have more, or so and so should

have less, right? Donald Trump negative 18. Okay, Dolly Parton

was a plus 65, a plus 65. That is like a crazy high number, and

I'm showing you this, and I'm telling you this because it just

goes to prove this is a person who, again, she wasn't a

wallflower. She wasn't like soup of vanilla. She wasn't trying to

get quote unquote everybody to like her. She just showed up in

the world and said what she thought, shared what she

believed, and she wasn't a pushover. I mean, I use the word

broad in a very positive term to me. This was like a ballsy

broad. Like she said what she thought, and she wasn't there to

tiptoe around a thing if she really believed it, you know.

And a couple of examples. So back in the day when she was

being she was being interviewed by Billboard magazine, and they

were talking to her about the protest movements, about this

push also for racial justice. And I'm sure you've heard this

quote. And if you hadn't, like, listen to this. It was so

fantastic. Dolly says, "I understand when she's talking

about the protest movement and racial justice. She says, "I

understand people having to make themselves known and felt and

seen. And she says, and of course, Black Lives Matter. Do

we think our little white asses are the only ones that matter?

No. Now, when you think about, first of all, how fantastic.

But when you think about her genre of music, and how it's

traditionally associated, right these days. When you think about

like country music and all this stuff, you can imagine, right?

Like, let's be honest with ourselves. You can imagine that

there's a bunch of white people, a bunch of white people who love

their, you know, their country music, who might disagree like

with that statement, and yet she remains beloved. Dolly did so

many things. We already know about the Imagination Library,

right? So her her daddy couldn't read or write, and so she

created the Imagination Library in 1995 as like an in honor for

him, like right as a as a way to like you know honor him, and

this is one of the things that she stood for, right? Dolly

stood for things like medical research. She stood for things

like education and literacy. She stood. She would do things for

emergency relief, but her imagination library over 300

million books. So people who sign up for the imagination.

Library, their kids from ages like zero to five, they get sent

books all throughout that time. So over, like I think the number

is like 40, like 43 million kids have gotten over 335 million

books, and what an incredible thing to want to empower people

to be able to be literate, to be able to read and write, to be

able to see themselves represented in stories. Do you

know what a powerful thing it is for kids to get books with their

names on it? It comes in the mail. Oh my God! Like you can

tell if you're watching this, you can see my face right now.

I'm like, oh! I get so wicked excited. I just think it's such

a beautiful thing, right? She donated to vaccine research,

right? When COVID came out again, could be totally

unpopular depending on who you're talking to, right? She's

donated to to Tennessee wildfires. She has helped ban

like kids in high school with with scholarships. She's helped

put kids in high school music in their band uniforms. She's

invested so many of the royalties. You know, she wrote

that famous song "I Will Always Love You" that Whitney Houston

made. You know, Wicked famous, but Dolly wrote it, and she

wrote it for an old, an old let's call it work colleague.

And those royalties, she invested in a historic black

neighborhood in in Nashville. She's created. She has an

American Eagle Sanctuary. You guys, like, come on! You know,

Dolly did not shy away from politics, people, programs, and

she did it all by being authentically her. Now you might

be like, "Who gives a shit? I don't care about Dolly. Well,

you don't have to keep listening. Number one is you

could always tune out right now. You could just like leave. But

listen to this. This is a really great example for us because I

think so many people these days really feel like they have to be

something other than themselves, especially in the age of the

internet and the online culture and social media. And so many

people are afraid to be themselves because they think

I'll be misunderstood. People won't like me. People will, you

know, like hate me. People will say mean things. All these

things, which is yeah, possibly true, right? But here's the

thing. You know how when people go on a first date, or when

they're just you know starting a new job, or they're starting

something new, whether it's a friendship, a romantic

relationship, a gig, whatever it is, and a lot of times people

show up and they're on their quote unquote best behavior,

right? They try to quote unquote put their best foot forward.

They try to show up and appear a particular way. And I have

always-I don't know, should I say-always for a wicked long

time. I think I feel comfortable saying that. For a wicked long

time, I have come to the place in myself, and maybe it's an age

thing, whatever. But I would rather be disliked for being

myself than putting on some airs or putting on some performance

and having people think I'm the bee's knees when I'm really just

acting.

And number two, I would rather be loved for fully being myself

than having people fall in love with some made-up version of me,

some performance of me, some bullshit thing that I'm doing,

whether it's to fool people or to please people or to impress

people. If somebody's going to love me, I want them to love me

because they know me. They've been around me. They've seen me

in action. You know what I mean? They've seen me. And look, none

of us are perfect. We are gonna blow it. We are gonna suck

sometimes. And you sometimes you gotta let people suck, right?

Because this is how we learn and grow, and we make mistakes.

Okay, but I would rather be loved for the things that I

stand for, the things that I believe, how I am in the world,

who I help, like what I do, right? Who I am and how I

be-that is what I would rather be loved for than some idealized

version or some performance, or me trying to circusalay myself

into some palatable thing, you know. And I have another episode

coming out that it kind of jumps off of this concept, which is

like this whole idea of niching. And I'm not going to get into

that right now. But the thing I really want to say to you is, I

wanted this is like a little love letter from my heart to

yours to really encourage you, to encourage you, to have the

courage to be loved by because you are fully being yourself,

and the thing is, is that in order to do that, in order. To

be loved, we have to be willing to be vulnerable enough to be

seen and to be heard and to take a stand and to live by our code

and to let people see that shit in action. You know what I'm

saying? Rather than trying to be, like I said, some other

vanilla, palatable like virgin that people can easily just

swallow, like just like, oh yeah, she she goes down easy. Do

you know what I mean? Like she's just easy to take. She doesn't

ruffle any feathers. She never says anything. She's just very

Switzerland. She's very neutral, right? Like that's just not how

I am. And I know that I have. I'm not everybody's cup of tea,

and I can already probably think off the top of my head at least

three or four people who don't care for me at all. It's not

hard. It's not hard, but that's okay. You know that's okay. I

mean I've made choices in the past. I didn't always you know

make the best. Oh God, I'm rubbing my face right now didn't

always make maybe some of the best choices or decisions, but

you know, back then, back then I was, you know, I I've forgiven

myself. I've forgiven myself. You know, when I think about the

word regret, and we've talked about this before. You know,

I've done a whole podcast on regret, and this this quote that

I love that said, you know, regrets. Regret is paying too

much attention to the mistakes you made while you were still

learning, and that's how I feel. Right there are times in my

life, of course, I can look back on and say, "Jesus, man, I wish

I had done that differently, or said that differently, or made a

different choice, or was kinder or more compassionate. But you

know you can't build a better pass, as they say in a lot of

recovery programs or 12 step programs. So here's where we

are, you guys. How do you feel about this? Inquiring minds

would want to know, but you know, yeah, I think it's

important. I'll hold up the book again. I think it's important to

have the courage to be disliked, but I think even more so have

the courage to be loved, you know, be who you are. I mean, of

course, of course. I'm always like use your noggin, like don't

just be prattling off things to be, don't be cruel or unkind on

purpose, right? But sometimes we're going to say some things

that are unpopular or people don't agree with, and that's

fine. I would rather be known for who I am. I don't think that

I'm a hard person to know.

In that I'm pretty transparent about what I think and what I

feel and what I believe. And if you don't know, you can always

ask me. You know what I mean. And obviously, if it's

appropriate, I'll share it with you. Meaning, it might not

always be the right time or place. But I, again, I I would

rather be loved for who I'm being for who I really am, and

if some people don't like me because of that, I'm really okay

with it. The older that I get, of course, of course, we all

like people to like us. The ego loves that stroke, right? The

ego loves that sense of, and the nervous system too. That nervous

system loves that sense of safety. But I'd rather people,

you know, care for me or appreciate me, or you know, come

to my yoga classes or join the nest or come to Write Club or

get a Thai yoga massage from me, you know, because they know me,

not because they got some idea or illusion of who I think they

are. And and so if you're still here and you're still listening

right now, thank you for liking me enough to stick around.

You're still here, hearing the sound of my voice, and I hope

that you can take away something from this episode and from you

know Dolly's example is that you know again she wasn't quiet. She

wasn't neutral. She she had a say in things, and she had a lot

to say, and she had plenty to say, and she didn't shy away

from it. You know, I mean, you could just Google. I was like,

oh man, I could just read off a list of like some of her

greatest quotes, and she's pretty fantastic, and she's

pretty direct, and she said and did a lot of things that could

have been wicked unpopular, and yet here she is. I'm holding it

up again, plus 65. She's like universally loved, which is a

pretty incredible thing. So you know, may we all may we all get

to be loved. Like what a gift that would be to get to be loved

for being exactly who we are. And then let people decide, man.

Let people decide if the if you are for them or not for them.

That's that's their business. That's up to them. And you're

certainly not going to be every, as they say, you're not going to

be everybody's cup of tea. You're not going to float

everybody's boat. But wouldn't life be boring if you did?

Right. We need a little bit of that. We need a little bit. We

need a lot of variety, man. We need a little variety. So, so

thank you for sticking around, you guys. I hope this was

helpful in some way. And if you're grieving this loss like I

am, man, ah, I feel you. I feel you on such a deep level. You

know, one of the things that I've been commenting on people

who have been posting about it is, you know, she was the best

of us. You know, she really showed us. She was a living

example. She's, you know, definitely going to be on my

spiritual team, and she's always been there. You know, but I have

such a deeper. I think because of revisiting and really kind of

diving into and remembering all the things that she's done. I

watched. I've watched a few interviews and stuff of her, and

I share them with my sweetie, and and you know he said he's

like wow I I didn't know there's so much about her I didn't know

and I said yeah she's something else she was a little

firecracker man she was a firecracker and I just love her

spirit and I love what she stood for and I love the things that

she stood for I love that she put books in the hands of so

many kids and you know, said and did things that were unpopular

and could have made a lot of people mad, and that's okay. You

know, Dolly went out doing Dolly, and you know, she even

wrote a book and also did put something.

I think it was on Broadway, and one of the things she said that

I really appreciated, and then I'll wrap this up, is she was

talking about how you know over the course of her life of 80

years, you know people are going to have a lot of things to say

about her, and she's like, but I wanted to, I wanted to put my

story in my words. I wanted to tell my story myself and do it

in my own way and in my own words, and I just love that

about her. That she, even though you know we lost her, she's left

behind. She has left behind a legacy, and she did it her way.

You know, let's talk about you know I did it my way. That old

song, right? She did it her way, and she helped so many people.

She helped so many animals. She helped so many humans. It's a

beautiful example that she has set for us. So, you guys, thanks

for tuning in. Again, as usual, if you want to find out anything

that I have going on this month, I have Write Club coming up in

September. I have some workshops with my friend Emily Aborn about

starting a podcast, how to be a better guest and host of a

podcast, etc. I have my yoga class, of course, which is but

it's sold out. But I'm always open for Thai yoga massage, Thai

yoga body work clients, and I always have shenanigans going

on. You can find all that stuff at KarenKenney.com. Just look up

in the header, go right across. You'll see all the stuff right

there, coaching, mentoring, the nest, all of it. Okay, wherever

you go, may you leave the animals and the other humans and

yourself and the planet and the environment better than how you

found it. Wherever you go, may you a have the courage to be

loved by being fully yourself, but may your presence, may your

energy, may your love, may you just be in there, right with the

people, with the animals, with the environment. May you being

there be a blessing. Bye.