Lamentations: How to Grieve with Hope | Biblical Lament for Christian Moms

The Dwelling Place Bible Podcast for Busy Moms | Entrusted Ministries

What do you do when life hurts—and the Christian answer isn't to pretend everything is fine?

In this episode of The Dwelling Place Bible Podcast, Stephanie Hickox walks through the Book of Lamentations and explores what it means to bring our grief, disappointment, suffering, and unanswered questions honestly before the Lord while still clinging to the hope of the gospel.

Lamentations reminds us that biblical hope doesn't require us to deny our pain. Instead, Scripture teaches us to turn to God in our pain, tell Him about our pain, and trust Him with our pain.

Stephanie also shares wisdom from Pastor Mark Vroegop on the biblical practice of lament and explains how this can transform the way Christian moms respond to suffering—and teach their children to walk faithfully through hard things.

The Book of Lamentations is a powerful reminder that God's steadfast love never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, and great is His faithfulness.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• What biblical lament is—and why it is different from sinful complaining
• Why Christians don't have to choose between denial and despair
• How to bring grief and suffering honestly before God
• Why difficult circumstances don't mean that God has abandoned us
• How the gospel transforms our grief without pretending our pain isn't real
• Why suffering can be perplexing without being pointless
• How Lamentations points us toward God's sovereignty, faithfulness, and mercy
• Why Lamentations 3:22–23 is such an important passage for seasons of suffering
• How Jeremiah and the people of Judah responded to the destruction of Jerusalem
• How moms can teach their children to process suffering with faith, humility, and hope
• Why our children need to learn not merely to be "authentic," but to bring their whole selves to the Lord for transformation

Biblical Lament: Turn, Tell, Trust

One of the most helpful frameworks Stephanie shares from Mark Vroegop's teaching is:

1. Turn to Jesus in your pain.

Don't run away from God when you're hurting. Run toward Him.

2. Tell Jesus about your pain.

God doesn't ask us to bring only our praise reports. He invites us to cast our cares upon Him.

3. Trust Jesus with your pain.

Biblical lament doesn't end in despair. It moves us toward trust, obedience, and ultimately praise.

As Stephanie explains, lament is a prayer made in pain that leads to trust.

Lamentations 3:22–23

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness."

These familiar words become even more powerful when we understand the suffering surrounding them. Lamentations doesn't offer shallow optimism. It shows us how to acknowledge the devastation of a fallen world while deliberately fixing our eyes on the character of God.

God's faithfulness is not dependent upon our circumstances.

Biblical Parenting: Teaching Our Children to Grieve with Hope

As Christian moms, we have an incredible opportunity to teach our children how to respond when life doesn't go the way they hoped.

We don't want our kids to believe that faith means pretending everything is okay. We also don't want them to become trapped in despair. Instead, we can teach them to bring their pain to Jesus.

When our children experience disappointment, suffering, rejection, or loss, we can model what it looks like to say:

"This really hurts—and God is still good."

That kind of faith doesn't ignore reality. It brings reality into the presence of the God who is sovereign, compassionate, and faithful.

Our goal isn't simply to raise children who can endure difficulty. We want to raise children who know where to take their difficulty.

Lament Is Not the End of the Story

Lamentations ends with a prayer:

"Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we may be restored."

That is ultimately where biblical lament leads us—not deeper into ourselves, but back to God.

If you're walking through a difficult season, you don't have to rush past your grief. You can bring it to the Lord. You can weep. You can ask questions. You can acknowledge how hard it is.

And then, like Jeremiah, you can remind your soul of what is true:

Great is His faithfulness.

Scripture Mentioned

• Lamentations 1–5
• Lamentations 3:1–39
• Lamentations 3:22–23
• Lamentations 3:55–60
• Lamentations 5:21
• Psalm 102
• Romans 8
• 2 Corinthians 4:9

Resources Mentioned

Stephanie references Pastor Mark Vroegop's teaching on biblical lament and his book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, which explores how Christians can learn to lament well.

If you're a Christian mom trying to read the Bible consistently, understand Scripture in chronological context, and apply God's Word to everyday motherhood, join us for The Dwelling Place Bible Podcast for Busy Moms from Entrusted Ministries.

Each episode is designed to help you dwell with God in His Word and grow in biblical wisdom for your family—one passage at a time.

What is one difficult circumstance you need to bring honestly before the Lord today?Because the goal isn't simply to get through the Bible. It's to let the Bible get into us—and to make our homes a dwelling place for Christ. Resources Mentioned:

• Entrusted With a Child's Heart
• The Again Podcast: Interview with Chris McKenna Part 1, Part 2
• Full-Circle Discipline Resources
• Journey Through the Bible

Commentaries Most Referenced: Moody Commentary, MacArthur Commentary

This is The Dwelling Place

from Entrusted Ministries.

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I'm Stephanie Hickox, and today as we

grieve with the Book of Lamentations,

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I want you to think what an honor

it is that the God we serve asks us

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to cast all our cares upon Him and

to bring our pain into His presence.

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The truths of the gospel transform

our grief, but they don't

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remove our hurt or our humanity.

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So what does it look like to

acknowledge the truth of reality

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While living with the hope of heaven.

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This summer, I had the

opportunity to go to the Gospel

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Coalition's Women's Conference.

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It was phenomenal, and I enjoyed all

the speakers, but I was especially

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blessed by Pastor Mark Vroegop.

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He's recently taken over as the president

of The Gospel Coalition, but he was

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formerly pastor of my friend's church.

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Her husband serves on staff, so

she confidently assured me that

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Mark Vroegop is the real deal.

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He is humble, and he lives

out what he preaches.

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And I believe that part of the mantle

that God has given him to carry out

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to this generation is to return us

to faithful lamenting before the

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Lord Sometimes in Christian circles

today, when you share the hard

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you're condemned for not having hope.

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And if you're walking through a

particularly difficult time or trial, this

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can produce a dissonance in your spirit

where you desperately want to cling to

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the Word of God, but people around you are

trying to wrap up your testimony in a bow.

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When God has asked you to patiently

wait for his redemption in a situation,

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the world is shouting that authenticity

is king and that they will embrace

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you for whoever you claim to be.

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If we want to remind our kids that

Jesus Christ is king, we need to ensure

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that they know there is a process by

which they bring all of themselves

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to the Lord and lay it at his feet.

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We don't want to stay there in our grief

and our pain, but we can't endure well

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unless we dwell with God in the difficult

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Mark Vroegop would call these

two tendencies the two ditches.

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We have some walking in denial

and some walking in despair But

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lament is right in the middle.

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And before I begin discussing the

Book of Lamentations that was written

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to be similar to a funeral address

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I thought it would be most helpful if

I could share some highlights and notes

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that I took from Pastor Mark's message.

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It was entitled Turn to God in

Suffering and was based on Psalm 102.

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But the principles of lament that

he shared are far-reaching and are

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truly applicable to the Christian walk

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If this is really resonating with

you and you'd like to learn more,

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I'd recommend his book, Dark Clouds,

Deep Mercy He wrote it, to try to

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encourage the church to lament well.

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And the reason this message is so near

and dear to Mark's heart is because he

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and his wife lost a child when she was

very close to term And even after that

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heartbreaking situation, God allowed

them to have continued grief and trials

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in the process of growing their family.

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After one particularly devastating

doctor appointment, Mark got in

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the car with his wife, and he

said, " Do you think you can pray?"

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All she could say was, " I know you're not

mean, God, but it feels like it today."

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I was so inspired by Mark and his

wife's example to share the deep

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valleys they've gone through because

I know they didn't stay there.

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They took their pain to Jesus Christ

so that they could learn to praise

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Him regardless of their circumstances.

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And that's exactly who I want to be.

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That's who I know you wanna be

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And I hope that we can inspire our kids

to have such a powerfully authentic walk

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that acknowledges difficult, but realizes

that the hope of the gospel really

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does transform whatever comes our way

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In his message, he said, "When it

feels like you can't survive, lament.

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Take it to the Lord."

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He is a God that sees and hears,

and He wants us to come to Him, and

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that doesn't mean that we just take

our praise reports to Him I know

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I'm giving you a lengthy preamble,

but what he preached is pure gold

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And I think it's a message

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that needs to be preached

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And I think it's a message that can cause

our spirits to give a deep sigh of relief

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And that reminds us to draw near

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Which is obviously what

we're all about here.

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First, we need to be abundantly

clear on what lament is.

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Lament is a prayer made in

pain that leads to trust

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Another way to say it is lament is a

prayer made in pain that leads to praise.

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Did you know that a third

of the Psalms are laments?

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That alone is evidence that we are

allowed to take the difficult to the Lord.

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Mark pointed out that a third of the

Psalms will be irrelevant in heaven

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because there will be nothing to

lament anymore He stated that the

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biblical language of lament is number

one, turn to Jesus in your pain.

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Number two, tell Jesus about your pain.

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And finally, trust Jesus with your pain.

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I'll say those again.

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Turn to Jesus in your pain,

tell Jesus about your pain,

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and trust Jesus with your pain.

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Because suffering is a central

aspect of the Christian life,

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we need a place to take it

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Mark says that most

suffering is unexplained.

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However, it is not meaningless.

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Perplexing suffering does

not mean pointless suffering.

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And just because you don't know the plan

doesn't mean it isn't a perfect plan.

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He challenged us that laments are

not intended to be cul-de-sacs.

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They are meant to be conduits This

means that you don't want to be stuck in

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the same circle of grief and despair.,

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You want the lament to pull you forward,

to be on the path of trust and obedience

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with the Lord He said we should be able to

say of our trials and experiences, " That

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moment rocked us, but it didn't ruin us."

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And it reminds me of the verse that says,

"We are struck down but not destroyed

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Because we believe God is good, we

insist on bringing our pain before

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Him Mark acknowledged that if we

didn't believe that God was sovereign,

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there would be no reason to lament.

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And according to Romans 8, hard is

not bad, but hard is still hard.

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To lament is to stop giving Jesus the

silent treatment, and it's one of the

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most costly praises we can offer to God.

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It means that in your suffering,

you reach the point of praising.

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You may be wondering, is there

a difference between a biblical

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complaint and a sinful complaint?

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And there most certainly is.

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Pastor Vergoop explained that a sinful

complaint says, "God, you owe me

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Why did this happen?

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And does not conclude in praise or trust,

but a biblical complaint lays our pain

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before the Lord, acknowledging how hard

it can be to live in a fallen world

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And it ends trusting in the good

and sovereign God of the universe.

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I hope that all of that provides a

really good foundation of why you

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shouldn't rush past these powerful five

chapters of scripture in Lamentations

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This might be a book of the Bible

that can train you of how to

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bring those cares before the Lord

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In our brief time together today,

I'll read a portion of it over you

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But it truly is worthy of your attention

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A lament is a loud cry, and that's

why the book is called Lamentations.

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But the Hebrew title comes from the first

word of the book, which is how or alas.

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No other book of the Old Testament

is filled only with lament.

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And this book is a funeral address

for the City of Zion, also known

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as Jerusalem, God's great city has

fallen, and his people are grieving.

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It was a shocking, heart-wrenching

reality for the people

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The only thing I can compare it

to for our generation is 9/11.

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But that was much more

a national disaster,

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The destruction of Jerusalem

also seemed to take out their

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entire spiritual foundation

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of what they thought was unshakable.

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It was a shocking, heart-wrenching

reality for the people.

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Lamentations is largely attributed

to Jeremiah, both because of the

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evidence and phrasing within the

book, but also outside of the book.

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Jewish tradition

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And early Christian tradition

unanimously attributed it to Jeremiah.

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And early copies of the Septuagint, which

is the Greek translation, even begin

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with referencing Jeremiah's weeping.

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God had warned 900 years prior that this

would happen if they didn't obey him.

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You and I have been reading

for months about His warnings.

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And though we might think, "God,

this judgment is so severe," what

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would you think of a God who has been

warning for nine hundred years that

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something was going to happen and

then chose to not follow through?

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Even in his destruction, we

can take comfort that he is a

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faithful God who keeps his word.

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And as clearly as he laid out this

path to destruction, he laid out

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the path to blessing and life.

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So when we read about the faithfulness of

God to discipline his people, we can also

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rejoice that he's a God that rewards his

people, and that one day we will no longer

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need to bring our laments before him.

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He will be the light and the joy that we

dwell with There are a couple literary

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devices enacted here as they follow

patterns of an acrostic poem, and the

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Jewish people read this every year on the

anniversary of Jerusalem's destruction.

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It falls on July or August on our

calendar, and my attention was

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certainly arrested when I read that

this is the exact date that Herod's

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temple was destroyed by the Romans

after the time of Christ in AD

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seventy, the exact same calendar day.

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Jeremiah would have written this

book after the fall of Jerusalem,

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but before those faithless

men carried him away to Egypt.

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Chapters one and five mirror each

other, and then chapters two and

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four, while chapter three contains

the main theme of the message.

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Although there is much to meditate on,

that's where I'll focus our time today.

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Beginning in three one: I am

the man who has seen affliction

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under the rod of His wrath.

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He has driven and brought me

into darkness without any light.

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Surely against me He turns His hand

again and again the whole day long.

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He has made my flesh

and my skin waste away.

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He has broken my bones.

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He has besieged and enveloped me

with bitterness and tribulation.

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He has made me dwell in darkness

like the dead of long ago.

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He has walled me about

so that I cannot escape.

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He has made my chains heavy.

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Though I call and cry for

help, He shuts out my prayer.

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He has blocked my ways

with blocks of stones.

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He has made my paths crooked.

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He is a bear lying in wait

for me, a lion in hiding.

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He turned aside my steps

and tore me to pieces.

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He has made me desolate.

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He bent His bow and set me as a

target for His arrow He drove into

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my kidneys the arrows of his quiver.

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I have become the laughingstock

of all peoples, the object

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of their taunts all day long.

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He has filled me with bitterness;

he has sated me with wormwood.

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He has made my teeth grind on

gravel and made me cower in ashes.

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My soul is bereft of peace.

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I have forgotten what happiness is.

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So I say, " My endurance has perished;

so has my hope from the Lord."

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Remember my affliction and my

wanderings, the wormwood and the gall.

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My soul continually remembers

it and is bowed down within me.

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But this I call to mind,

and therefore I have hope.

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The steadfast love of

the Lord never ceases.

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His mercies never come to an end.

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They are new every morning.

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Great is your faithfulness.

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The Lord is my portion, says my soul.

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Therefore, I will hope in him.

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The Lord is good to those who wait

for him, to the soul who seeks him.

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It is good that one should wait

quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

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It is good for a man that he

bear the yoke in his youth

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Let him sit alone in silence

when it is laid on him.

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Let him put his mouth in the dust.

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There may yet be hope.

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Let him give his cheek to

the one who strikes, and let

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him be filled with insults.

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For the Lord will not cast off forever.

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But though he cause grief, he will

have compassion according to the

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abundance of his steadfast love,

for he does not willingly afflict

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or grieve the children of man.

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We studied in Jeremiah the extent

of his pain and rejection on this

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earth So we can understand why he

writes what he does in chapter three.

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But even in the midst of all

that, he focuses, he focuses on

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the character of our great God

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Let me read those central

verses once again.

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Lamentations three

twenty-two and twenty-three.

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The steadfast love of

the Lord never ceases.

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His mercies never come to an end.

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They are new every morning.

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Great is your faithfulness.

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And because these verses so

perfectly fit, I'll also share

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three fifty-five through sixty

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I called on your name, O Lord, from the

depths of the pit; you heard my plea.

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Do not close your ear to my cry for help.

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You came near when I called on

you; you said, "Do not fear."

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You have taken up my cause, O

Lord; you have redeemed my life.

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You have seen the wrong

done to me, O Lord.

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Judge my cause.

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You have seen all their vengeance,

all their plots against me.

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The book ends, " Restore us to yourself,

O Lord, that we may be restored.

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Renew our days as of old, unless

you have utterly rejected us and you

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remain exceedingly angry with us."

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When the book is read publicly, they

repeat verse twenty-one to end on a

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word of hope, " Restore us to yourself,

O Lord, that we may be restored.

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Renew our days of old."

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And I think that's a perfect

thing for us to pray.

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Heavenly Father, great

is Your faithfulness.

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Morning by morning, new mercies

we see, but we confess that we are

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often far too shortsighted to see

how merciful and gracious You are.

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Fix our eyes on You and

transform our perspective

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We know our attitudes need to be renewed,

and our hope needs to be set on eternity

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And we're deeply aware that there are

circumstances where it's too great of a

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challenge for us to do this in our flesh.

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We ask that you would teach us.

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We ask that you would teach us to come

to you in all of our pain and that

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we would not fall into the ditches of

denial or despair Instead, help us to

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offer to you the most difficult prayers

of praise, especially in our pain,

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because we know you are still worthy.

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We pray that our children would

not fall prey to the counterfeit

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promises of the world that say, "We'll

accept you for whoever you are."

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We know true acceptance is found

with the one who created us.

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We pray we would teach our children

holy humility, not authenticity for

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authenticity's sake, but honesty for

the purpose of transformation and

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relationship with you Thank you for your

faithfulness, Lord, for your mercies, and

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that you are our portion and our hope.

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Jesus, thank you that you,

the source of all hope, even

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modeled for us how to lament

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And it's in your great name that we pray.

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Amen