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We’re diving deep into the idea of rediscovering our inner light today. We talk about how living from a place of open-heartedness and joy can change everything. The main focus is on breaking down the layers of our ego, which often gets in the way of our true selves. We’ll explore this concept using a funnel metaphor, starting from the top where all the complexity and noise is, and working our way down to the pure awareness at the bottom. By understanding how our thoughts develop and how we can peel back the layers, we can find freedom and joy in our lives. Stick around; this might just blow your mind!
Rediscovering our inner light is crucial. We often let our egos cloud this light, but peeling back those layers can lead us to a place of joy and compassion. Today, I dive into the concept of a funnel that represents our thoughts and emotions, starting from the topmost complex layer and working our way down. This approach highlights how our narratives and beliefs shape our identity and can lead to suffering if we get too caught up in them. The talk is about recognizing that our ego is just a collection of stories and memories. By understanding this, we can find freedom and live with less seriousness. I share personal anecdotes to illustrate how breaking things down, whether it was cars or radios in my life, has led me to realize that everything is just bits and pieces. The ultimate message here is to take life less seriously while being aware of our thoughts and the layers we build over time.
Takeaways:
- Rediscover your inner light and live from a place of joy and compassion.
- Our ego can get in the way, so it's essential to strip it down sometimes.
- Breaking down complex thoughts helps us understand our narratives and find clarity.
- Living with less seriousness enables more flexibility and resilience in facing life's challenges.
- Emotions and significance enrich our lives, but they can overwhelm if not managed properly.
- Recognizing the layers of beliefs and opinions can aid personal growth and understanding.
Transcripts
Well, I think it's time that we rediscovered our light. That you rediscovered your inner light. And we started
Steven Webb:living from a place of an open heart and start living from a place of just freedom and joy and
Steven Webb:compassion that we're so capable of. Once we strip away a few layers of this ego, that just
Steven Webb:gets in the way. And that's what today's podcast is about. I speak about the funnel coming from the single
Steven Webb:point of thought. This time, I'm going to go the opposite way and I'm going to break that funnel down
Steven Webb:from the very top to the bottom. You're going to have to stick around for this one because this will
Steven Webb:really. It will either blow your mind and go, wow, I get it. Or you will be like, I need
Steven Webb:to know more. Whichever way, it's fascinating, it's awesome, and it's what changes my life so much when I
Steven Webb:think about this kind of thing. And all I'm doing is trying to think of different ways to explain breaking
Steven Webb:down the ego. So just before I start, I want to say thank you to everybody that donates, everybody keeps
Steven Webb:these podcasts going. Angie, Han, you are the latest. Thank you so much for that, Eva. Thank you, Jenna and
Steven Webb:Mia thank you Jess thank you Liddy and Stuart. And there's a few other anonymous that
Steven Webb:I just want to thank you, Reach out to you. Big hug over the airways or whatever it is. It's
Steven Webb:not over the airways now. It's through the wires now in it um Whichever way, it doesn't matter. Just want
Steven Webb:to say thank you to get you guys. You're awesome. And anybody that reviews, anybody listens or follows, you're all
Steven Webb:awesome. I love you guys and just keep up the good work. You're really starting to build this podcast into
Steven Webb:something. And we're reaching more people. We're giving more people a little more inner peace um Well let's hope so,
Steven Webb:anyway.
Steven Webb:So I want to. Whenever I was. When I was a child, I always used to deconstruct everything. I used
Steven Webb:to break everything apart. You know, if I had a radio, I wanted to make it go louder or I
Steven Webb:wanted to tune it to better stations that I. That I swear was off the dial that I could tune
Steven Webb:into. And I never used to be able to put things together properly, and I used to break everything. And
Steven Webb:when I had my first car, we bought it at the auction rooms. It sat on my friend's drive and
Steven Webb:I took the wheels off. I was cleaning it. I was doing all these different things. I was been a
Steven Webb:mechanic for the day. So I had this kind Of I took the wheels off and I took all the
Steven Webb:springs off near the brakes and everything like that. I put the wheels and all back on. I don't know
Steven Webb:what what was I doing? I don't know. I put the wheels back on and my friend come home and
Steven Webb:said, what are those springs doing on the drive? And I was like, yeah, I don't know what they were.
Steven Webb:So what do you mean, you don't know what they were? Well, I took the wheels off and I took
Steven Webb:apart the brakes. I did all these things. And he's like, you can't drive a car now where you've left
Steven Webb:the springs off. I said, yeah, but I couldn't work out what why they were needed. So this is what
Steven Webb:I've always done. I've spent my life breaking things down, trying to understand. And do you know what? You find
Steven Webb:out one thing every single time, you find out that radio, when you break it down, was never a radio.
Steven Webb:It was only constructed that way. The bits put together. The Lego house you build, guess what? Just
Steven Webb:bits. And you know, that story, that ego that you are, that whole thing, this is who I am. This
Steven Webb:is how I like things. This is how I react to things. This is what I'm good at and not
Steven Webb:good at. Guess what? Just bits. It's just stories. And that will either give you a
Steven Webb:refreshing go oh, wow, it's just that I can relax a little or it'll freak the hell out of you.
Steven Webb:Of course, who wouldn't be freaked out when you're going to be taken apart and you're going to be seen
Steven Webb:through? It's like imposter syndrome. Guess what, ego, I can see through you. I can see or just a collection
Steven Webb:of stories and memories that's going to freak out any ego, right? But the truth is, on the other side
Steven Webb:of that deconstruction, there's freedom and there's joy, and you end up taking life less seriously. And I don't mean
Steven Webb:you end up not taking life seriously.
Steven Webb:There's the paradox.
Steven Webb:I'm not saying you go through life and you don't care and you just end up just somebody, just not
Steven Webb:caring, not saying that at all. But when you take life less seriously, you can take the blows a little
Steven Webb:bit more and you absorb them and you become more flexible. Like the tree that's in the middle of that
Steven Webb:field that we all love seeing that great big oak tree or whatever tree, and we go, how does that
Steven Webb:stand there year after year, storm after storm? Because it doesn't take his life too seriously. And it knows it's
Steven Webb:going to be okay because it's got the deep roots and the deep foundation.
Steven Webb:So, I've gone slightly off topic, what I was going to talk about. I love trees, as you know. But
Steven Webb:yeah, I'm going to. So this reverse funnel, I'm going to deconstruct the ego and the story and this person
Steven Webb:of who you become. So I'm gonna Normally I start at the bottom layer, the very point of the bottom.
Steven Webb:I'm going to start at the top. The most complex, the most colorful, the most layers of all
Steven Webb:layers. The most stories, the most memories, all in the top. So I want you to imagine a funnel. At
Steven Webb:the bottom of that funnel is the initial point of thought or the point of caring. Below that there's just,
Steven Webb:ah,
Steven Webb:just peace, just
Steven Webb:nothing. And
Steven Webb:then the whole funnel goes up and I want you to jump straight to the top. And right at the
Steven Webb:top, this is the outermost layer. This is where thoughts, beliefs, emotions, they all converge
Steven Webb:into this complex web of narratives and opinions. It's bustling and it's busy and it's noise in your daily life.
Steven Webb:All the expectations, the personal ego, the. This layer is marked by all the diversity and the multitude of
Steven Webb:voices. Oh, I'm just tired to think about it. Everything is there. Every belief
Steven Webb:pops up, every opinion pops up, everybody's thoughts, all your wishes, you know, everything you are
Steven Webb:everything. Every memory, it's all there and
Steven Webb:you want to be there. It's all the desires and all that. And it's not always colorful. Sometimes it's really
Steven Webb:hard, sometimes it's tough. In actual fact, most of it is tough. The Buddha said, to be alive is to
Steven Webb:suffer. That's what he's talking about. He's talking about, you know, if you're there or if you're on it. If
Steven Webb:you're living your life primarily from any layer above the point of origin, you're suffering. You're
Steven Webb:suffering already um You want more of it or you want less of it. You're pushing stuff away or you're
Steven Webb:pulling stuff in. And I'm just I'm just here talking and thinking about it. It's like, oh, I've just
Steven Webb:recorded a meditation called do nothing meditation. And this is the absolute opposite to that. So if you want to
Steven Webb:listen to that, go over to Inner Peace Meditations by Sister podcast. And if you go to StevenWebb.uk all my
Steven Webb:links are there. But yeah, do nothing meditation it's like okay, do nothing. And now I'm thinking about the do
Steven Webb:everything. You know, all your plans, all the things you should be doing all the things you should have done,
Steven Webb:all the regrets you have and all the things. It's all there at the top layer. It's like the worst
Steven Webb:possible pea soup you could ever imagine. It's
Steven Webb:just everything in it. And very often we're bumbling along on the top of that and That's the very top
Steven Webb:layer But
Steven Webb:there's a healthy version of this top layer and an unhealthy version of this top layer. And I want to
Steven Webb:touch upon that because that's also so important Because I'm not saying you shouldn't ever be there.
Steven Webb:I'm saying enjoy it when you are there and recognise that even that layer doesn't stay there for very long.
Steven Webb:And this layer, the complexity and the ego layer, you know it enables self-reflection it
Steven Webb:enables personal growth, it enables the opportunity to enjoy all these things you've experienced. Enjoy the stories of your life.
Steven Webb:The ego enjoys life. Sometimes I don't know if the ego enjoys life actually. The ego doesn't carry
Steven Webb:the way it just gives you narrative. And it's up to you whether you enjoy it or not. But the
Steven Webb:cons of this is it can lead to, you know over-identification It can lead to a real
Steven Webb:solid version of your roles This is who I am and this is the status of who you are. This
Steven Webb:is my story. This is my. This is all my beliefs, all my opinions. This is who I've become. This
Steven Webb:is my family. I've been like this for generations. I'm not going to change. You know, don't look deeper. You
Steven Webb:know, don't pull away this layer because I don't want you to. And it causes stress. Just dive to another
Steven Webb:layer. Let's just go down on this layer. You've just got your narrative and storytelling. So
Steven Webb:it seems similar, but this one, it's not so much other people, it's not so much. You got to show
Steven Webb:the world. This is just your layer of hey, these are my stories, this is my narrative. This facilitates
Steven Webb:the identity formation, the cultural connection, people around you. This forms a part of the foundation
Steven Webb:of what is above. Things you enjoy, things you don't enjoy. And
Steven Webb:it may trap individuals in the limiting self stories and biases. You know, if you get stuck here and you
Steven Webb:don't want to leave this place, you are stuck to your story, you're stuck to your narrative. That is who
Steven Webb:I am. Above that, there's a whole experience of things that we've just been talking about not all bad not
Steven Webb:all good They're just an experience of things where you're bringing everything along you imagine
Steven Webb:you're visiting a concert and you get to the concert and you bring in all your household stuff and all
Steven Webb:your friends, all your stories and all that. It's like I'm here with everything I've ever owned. Well, this time
Steven Webb:you've left a few of your friends and not at home and you're just bringing up your story
Steven Webb:and then you go down another layer. And when you go down this other layer, this is more about your
Steven Webb:opinions and what you've learned. This is what formed your stories and your storytelling and the other layers. But
Steven Webb:it is here as a foundation to your narrative. This encourages the learning and adapting. If
Steven Webb:you get stuck at this layer and I don't know really whether you get stuck at these things, but if
Steven Webb:you come from your opinions and beliefs and what you learn so rigidly, you'll often be closed-mindedness and
Steven Webb:you'll resist new ideas and you won't get to experience the two levels above. I think we all know people
Steven Webb:that are just so stuck in their opinions and don't get me wrong, I can be there sometimes and oh
Steven Webb:boy, you give me a few days with different people and things like that. And oh, I can argue my
Steven Webb:opinion as if it's fact, as if it's like the only opinion in the world I know what An opinion
Steven Webb:is. An opinion is just a person's opinion. That doesn't stop me arguing. It sometimes really doesn't. You know,
Steven Webb:I, I'm my human, my ego is human just like anybody else's. You know, just because I may
Steven Webb:invite you to see some of this stuff, it doesn't mean to say I'm it doesn't mean to say I've
Steven Webb:got all this, you know, you catch me on a bad day and you'll get the opinionated Stevie. But yeah,
Steven Webb:this, this is more stress at this level. I think you might not have as much in your life, but
Steven Webb:you're, you're stuck in your opinion, you're stuck in your learned ways and that's it. And you ain't going to
Steven Webb:move from there and
Steven Webb:then you've got another layer just below. I suppose this layer comes from your beliefs and your family and your
Steven Webb:religion and your core values. And this is a foundation that if you go through this foundation and you
Steven Webb:develop this one properly,
Steven Webb:the ones above will be more sensible, there'll be more compassion. Because as I go down through the layers in
Steven Webb:the minute we've got emotions and significance, we've got compassion and caring, thought and intention. But if you bring them
Steven Webb:along to the beliefs and the core values, you can have a real good foundation for the levels above. And
Steven Webb:bearing in mind you can dip back down to these. And you have to, at times, especially when things go
Steven Webb:wrong, you have to dip down to these levels. So
Steven Webb:your beliefs and core values, this provides stability and a sense of purpose in life. That's the pro side of
Steven Webb:it. But the con side of it can be rigid, preventing personal growth and adaptation. Core values can be amazing,
Steven Webb:but boy, can they hold you back. And you know, I'm not particularly against religion, but if you
Steven Webb:hold your religion too tightly, it will prevent experiences and freedom. There's no freedom in holding anything
Steven Webb:tightly. And then we get closer, we get closer to the heart of the consciousness of who you are. And
Steven Webb:you can go down through these layers in the funnel, just like you can almost going down as the ego
Steven Webb:develops and becomes more complex as time goes on. Emotions and significance,
Steven Webb:you know, this really enriches our life with depth for meaning It's before the foundations of these things get solidified,
Steven Webb:but the emotions and significance, who am I? What's important to me?
Steven Webb:But you're not really that rigid on them yet. That comes in the police and the core values just above.
Steven Webb:And it may lead to emotional overwhelm and disconnection. May mean that if you if you don't formulate this
Steven Webb:layer properly, you
Steven Webb:won't be able to take your emotions to the other layers. You won't be able to do it in a
Steven Webb:way that can be healthy. So
Steven Webb:you might end up at the narrative and storytelling from a place where your empathy is so overwhelming that you
Steven Webb:can't tell your story, or
Steven Webb:you get to the complexity in the ego stage and your empathy is so overwhelming to you that even when
Steven Webb:you tell your story, it's through tears and you take on the whole world's pain because you have so much
Steven Webb:empathy for the rest of the world that you cannot cope with it yourself.
Steven Webb:Remember, there's a difference between empathy and compassion. And when I asked ocean my Zen master, the difference between
Steven Webb:empathy and compassion, and he's brilliant for wandering off on a really brilliant talks, but I said, can you zen
Steven Webb:it out? And he stood there quite quiet
Steven Webb:and he leaned in and said, empathy is for you, compassion is for them.
Steven Webb:Just like that blew my mind. It's like, wow. Yes. So if you get the emotions and significance, if
Steven Webb:you get this level, you can end up with so much empathy that it overwhelms you. And
Steven Webb:that's why you might have to disconnect from life and run away and avoid it. At all cost. And then
Steven Webb:we. We're diving really deeper into our core, you know, so compassion and caring, you
Steven Webb:know, that fosters the empathy of the next level and the human connection for
Steven Webb:the first time. We're more human here and this layer we're recognising that we have to fit in with others,
Steven Webb:we have to fit in with society, and we have to care and have compassion for others and ourselves. Of
Steven Webb:course, the problem is overextending. This can risk to burnout, can risk to, you know, just
Steven Webb:overreaching to everybody else and forgetting yourself in a different way to unhealthy empathy. I
Steven Webb:did a podcast um I don't know, it's probably 50 podcasts ago. Healthy empathy versus unhealthy
Steven Webb:empathy. And trust me, there is two of them
Steven Webb:well there's two of everything. Healthy desire, unhealthy desire. You know, all of these things come with a
Steven Webb:healthy and unhealthy. And I call them that because I don't want to call them good or bad, because good
Steven Webb:or bad suggests one's wrong and one's right. And it's just. Oh, it's more complicated than that. And that's why
Steven Webb:we have to. Now you can see why I took everything apart because I wanted to know what is the
Steven Webb:simplest form, and then I can understand.
Steven Webb:And that's what we're doing. We're taking apart the ego.
Steven Webb:And then you move to one layer removed from pure awareness. That's just thought and intention. So now if we
Steven Webb:look at it differently, I want you to flip the coin now flip the funnel.
Steven Webb:So just a thought, just an intention. So out of the
Steven Webb:singularity, out of pure consciousness, you have a thought. It didn't anything more yet than a thought.
Steven Webb:It's not compassion yet until it develops into further layers, and then that thought becomes
Steven Webb:a compassion or caring, and then it adds emotions to it, and then it adds beliefs to it, and then
Steven Webb:it adds opinions to it, and it adds a story to it. And before you know, it's so complex that
Steven Webb:thought went from just a thought to this complex opinions and beliefs and all the other stories that go with
Steven Webb:it. And then before you know it, you're back the square one in a mess, covered up with all these
Steven Webb:layers, and you have to protect everything and you're exhausted and overwhelmed again. Oh doesn't that sound
Steven Webb:like that is exactly it isn't it you know, in a nutshell, that is exactly it. We get a thought,
Steven Webb:it leads to. Leads to a compassion and caring. And I think it always goes to compassion and caring. I
Steven Webb:don't think it drops to the Other ones. Because where does the hate and where does the thing come to
Steven Webb:that comes after beliefs and opinions and stories? Hate can't come in until
Steven Webb:you have a story of someone hurting you or a story of what's right and wrong. There's
Steven Webb:no hate down at the compassion and caring at the raw level. There's no hate in nature.
Steven Webb:There's some horrible things in nature, but it doesn't come from. Hate comes
Steven Webb:from evolution. It comes from.
Steven Webb:Yeah, I haven't taken that apart yet. I don't understand it yet to any large degree anyway. To be able
Steven Webb:to invite you to a way of looking at it anyway. But this thought and compassion at that level, it
Steven Webb:drives creativity and innovation
Steven Webb:from that. Imagine what you can do with a thought instead of jumping to your beliefs and opinions. You can
Steven Webb:do something new with it or nothing. Whoa, how cool is that? Do nothing with it. Yeah, that's just. It's
Steven Webb:a revolutionary thing. And I think 100, 200 years ago when they plowed the fields, they come back and they
Steven Webb:read the books and they were quiet, these thoughts were in a were able to develop in a conscious, more
Steven Webb:caring way. Nowadays we're just hit with everything that a thought becomes a complex ego
Steven Webb:within milliseconds.
Steven Webb:You know, the belief and the story and the opinions are all added to it. Boom, just like that. And
Steven Webb:it happens in milliseconds. And then we get to the real core, the real essence, the real whatever you want
Steven Webb:to do. And this is what, this is the light that you have to recognise. If you can live from
Steven Webb:this pure awareness and When you work it out, please let me know. I don't do a bad job at
Steven Webb:living just above this, sometimes for a few seconds a day, recognising the thought and choosing whether to go with
Steven Webb:it, recognising that I've now got into a belief and opinion. Do I continue to continue up the funnel
Steven Webb:or do I stop and let it go? But
Steven Webb:pure awareness it's just inner peace. Spiritual enlightenment at this level it's just ah,
Steven Webb:just here it's just present accepting everything in this moment and the cons of this is difficult to
Steven Webb:maintain. If you can maintain this for me on a few seconds. Oh boy, are you enlightened um
Steven Webb:Buddhist monks spend years and years in monasteries. Most of the time it's a few seconds before a thought comes
Steven Webb:in and then an emotion with that thought and then an opinion that I'm hungry or what food I want.
Steven Webb:So that's how these thoughts develop This is how we jump out of inner peace. Because inner peace comes from
Steven Webb:that, ah, just the quietness right below everything. And it may not Be obvious, but
Steven Webb:how you go up through that funnel is up to you.
Steven Webb:So you imagine a torch at the bottom.
Steven Webb:I love this bit. You're gonna like this bit
Steven Webb:because I'm a visual person So imagine a torch at the bottom. You turn the torch on. That's a thought.
Steven Webb:Comes out of pure awareness. It goes into the thought and intention and it's still bright, it's still ready, it's
Steven Webb:still it's still immature and it's still naive and it's still a brand new fertile thought, like a
Steven Webb:brand new seed that's just popped up out of the ground like a little shoot. That's the world I was
Steven Webb:looking for. And then it goes into compassion because it wants to be something. It wants to be something awesome
Steven Webb:and caring and it wants to be loving. And then it has emotions, it feels because it wants to be
Steven Webb:something. It's now got a desire. And now you throw in your beliefs. Well, you're going to be red or
Steven Webb:you've got to be yellow or you've got to be this. And the problem is the more you throw on
Steven Webb:it, the
Steven Webb:darker that light becomes because there's more in the way. And
Steven Webb:then you add the opinions, everything you've learned on top of this because you believe in your core values and
Steven Webb:your beliefs, they're okay to add. And
Steven Webb:then you add your opinions, they're okay to add to because they're your opinions. So you might have religion and
Steven Webb:then you've got your opinions of that religion and then you've got your life experiences. Let's throw that in there
Steven Webb:as well.
Steven Webb:You're starting to see the problem now. Now the light barely, you can barely see through that thought
Steven Webb:that was so pure and so caring and loving that was ready to change the world is now so.
Steven Webb:Oh, it's so shadowed
Steven Webb:it's And then suddenly the complexity and ego and we add all the layers of life and everything to it
Steven Webb:and that thought just becomes the same as all the other thoughts. It becomes tired and overwhelmed and it becomes
Steven Webb:a story and a narrative and opinion. Yeah,
Steven Webb:and there's your inner peace shattered.
Steven Webb:So, I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Now then, the reason why I share this with you is because if
Steven Webb:you understand how a thought grows and how we add layers to it it really gives you that insight,
Steven Webb:to stop,
Steven Webb:enjoy the pure thought, maybe
Steven Webb:add a bit of intention to that thought.
Steven Webb:Maybe with that intention, add a bit of compassion.
Steven Webb:Stop there. Or if you continue, don't add all your beliefs onto it. Maybe your beliefs
Steven Webb:don't need to be added to this thought. Maybe you can be open-minded and grow this thought again, because
Steven Webb:I really do think that concepts like this and visualizing it like this will just change
Steven Webb:how you end up feeling. Because the higher you go, the more layers you add to every single moment of
Steven Webb:the day. The more compact you are, the more rigid you are, the more unhappy you are. And
Steven Webb:you can play with these things. That's the whole point. If you're not aware of the thought until all the
Steven Webb:layers have already added, you're done. That's like that's like giving a child a painting that's already been done.
Steven Webb:It's like going to a jumble sale and buying your child a paint by numbers, but somebody's already done it.
Steven Webb:It's like, yeah, that sucks and Can you buy me another one?
Steven Webb:Really? We want to start at the blank canvas and become aware at that point.
Steven Webb:So, on that note, my this podcast has already gone on to nearly 30 minutes, and I'm not going to
Steven Webb:apologize for that because I think this podcast is awesome. This I'm really proud of this one because it's the
Steven Webb:kind of thing I love talking about, and I just hope it gives you some insight into how
Steven Webb:thoughts develop, how our emotions develop. Thank you for supporting this podcast. Thank you for donating coffees. It really makes
Steven Webb:a difference. And yeah, and
Steven Webb:I love you.
Steven Webb:Take care. Have some awesome thoughts.
