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In this episode of "A Changed Mind", our host, David Bayer, shares 15 powerful life lessons on his 50th birthday. Drawing from personal experiences of overcoming addiction, financial struggles, and spiritual disconnection, David offers insights on creating a masterpiece life, the power of decision-making, and the importance of authenticity.

David explores concepts like choosing one's parents, the role of community in overcoming challenges, and the relationship between thoughts and reality. David emphasizes the significance of a personal relationship with God and the transformative power of changing one's mindset. This episode provides a blend of spiritual wisdom, practical advice, and neuroscience-backed strategies for personal growth and overcoming life's obstacles.

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SPECIAL MIND HACK/WHOLE HUMAN FRAMEWORK PROGRAM BUNDLE

https://mindhackprogram.com/bundle-acm

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What We Explored This Episode

5:35 There was never any reason to worry

11:11 Community overcomes challenges

15:15 What you make matter matters

18:49 God wants a personal relationship with you

Memorable Quotes

"What you make matter matters. If you focus on the things you want, they will materialize into your life. If you focus on your problems, those things will materialize as well."

"Your greatest weakness is your greatest superpower. As you go through your own hero's journey and commit to transforming yourself, that weakness will transform into your greatest strength."

"Community overcomes challenges. If you want to create anything great in your life, or overcome any challenge, it is not a do-it-yourself project. It's a do-it-with-others endeavor."

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SPECIAL MIND HACK/WHOLE HUMAN FRAMEWORK PROGRAM BUNDLE

David Bayer: What you put your focus and attention on and how you put your focus and attention on it becomes reality. And this beautiful statement that she made was an articulation of how physics works. If you focus on the things that you want, they will materialize into your life. If you focus on your problems, those things will materialize as well too. What you make matter matters. There was a book written on this called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It's the number one best selling success and wealth book in the history of the world. And Napole studied the most successful people in the world at that time. And he came up with 13 observations of the things that they did. But the central tenet was that they created their own reality, that what they thought became reality. What you make matter becomes matter. Welcome to a Changed Mind, a journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth, to groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth and relationships, to open and honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture, and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future and provides the teachings, tools and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real, lasting change in your life and in the world. If you've been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity and doom and gloom so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside, you're in the right place. Welcome to a changed mind. Today I turned 50. And in this episode, I'm going to share with you the 15 most powerful lessons I've learned in 50 years. That's how long I've been on this earth. And for most of that time, I was losing the battle. I was broke. I had two homes in foreclosure. I was struggling with addiction, single for over a decade, spiritually disconnected, and yet here I am today. I built a $40 million transformational company. I'm married to the woman of my dreams, and I live in my dream home. I overcame addiction and I have a personal relationship with a higher power that guides everything I do. So what changed? I'm going to share with you the 15 most powerful lessons I've learned. Not abstract fluff, not hallmark wisdom, but hard won truths that pulled me out of a thank God it's Friday life. To a life I actually love living. If you're feeling stuck, uncertain, overwhelmed, or financially stretched, these 15 principles might just rewire everything. Principle number one, your life is a masterpiece. It's A tapestry woven from all different kinds of pieces. The good, the bad and the ugly. But what's important to understand here is that the challenges that you've overcome have helped you become who you are and have set you up for a destiny that is worthy of a masterpiece life. I believe every single person has greatness inside of them. And oftentimes we use the challenges that we've had as explanations for why we're stuck in our life today. But the truth is, they are the catalyst for who we are becoming. No matter where you are today or. Or how long you've been struggling with financial insecurity, or your health challenges, or feeling lost and confused, or being alone or single, that can change in an instant. Your life is designed as a masterpiece. Every single person I know who has achieved some level of greatness, some level of success, some level of genius expression in the world went through the same challenges that you're going through. Those challenges are not a reason for why you're stuck. There are reason for why you will live a masterpiece life Principle number two. You're one decision away from what you want. And I'm not talking about your decisions to do things. I'm talking about your decisions about things. Most people live in financial insecurity because they've made a decision that money is scarce or hard to make. When you shift that decision, your reality changes. People are living a life based on the decisions about life that they've had in the past, that they're not good enough, that they don't matter, that they can't trust people, that they have to control everything around them to be safe. And that becomes your reality. Thoughts become things, and you are creating your reality. And so if you want your reality to change, you have to make a new decision. I was single for over a decade. And then one year towards the end of the year, when I was making my New Year's resolutions, I made a decision that I didn't know how, I didn't know when, but I was going to meet a beautiful Colombian woman and make her my wife. And through a series of crazy synchronicities over the next two weeks, I ended up in a city where I didn't live with people I normally didn't hang out with, who connected me to Carol Gutierrez Bear, the woman that I'm married to today, a beautiful Colombian woman that I made my wife. One decision can alter the course of your life. But if you continue to react to your current circumstances, thinking the thoughts you have about your reality as it is today, that things never Work out that you have to work really hard in order to just get by. That becomes your reality.

And you get stuck in a Groundhog Day type of existence, living the same day over and over and over again. But if you're willing to make a new decision in the midst of your current reality, everything can change. And this is backed by neuroscience. The moment you make a new decision, you start to have different thoughts and ideas. The moment you make a new decision about your health, about money, about relationships, about yourself, you start to actually change the things that you notice in your reality. There's a part of the brain that's filtering out most of your reality, and it hones in on what it is that you've decided or you believe. And the moment you make a new decision, all of life begins to conspire to bring that decision into your material reality. Coincidences, synchronicities, rendezvous begin to occur the moment you make a decision. You're one decision away from what you want. Principle number three. There was never any reason to worry. If I could actually go back in a hot tub time machine and tell my younger self something, it would probably be this. Hey, don't worry. It's all going to work out. And you know what's really wild? You can look at your own life right now and look at the things that you were worrying about and see that some way, somehow, they resolve themselves and you made it through it. And yet you'll still choose to worry today about the same types of things. And I get it, because worry is a habit. It's one of the most ingrained habits that we have because it's built into the nervous system in order to help us survive. We're looking for threats, but the truth is, the threats rarely, if ever, materialize themselves. So if I could go back in time, I would tell myself to just relax, don't stress. It's all going to work out. Because the truth is, it will. And our joy becomes stolen by the worry that inserts itself in the experiences of our life. A vast majority of my life I didn't enjoy, and I still produced the results that I wanted or got through those challenging times despite my worry. So why not enjoy the ride as it's unfolding? There was never any reason to worry in the first place. Principle number four. Your greatest weakness is your greatest superpower. I remember when my parents went on their first vacation when I was a little kid. I was seven years old. They went to Hawaii for a week, and the babysitter was taking care of me, and I was Worrying that my parents were never going to come back. And in her unenlightened way, she shamed me by saying, you're such a little worry wart. That always stuck with me. And I always beat myself up for being a worrier until I realized that worry is just a form of rumination. It's a type of deep thinking. And who I am today is a result of my natural capacity to take complex concepts and really think about them in a deep way and be able to break them down into simple concepts and explain them to other people. The business that I built as a result of my fascination and rumination with how I could build a transformational company at scale in order to help end human suffering and to help as many people as possible.

So there's something that you experience in your life right now, an aspect of your character that you may look at and be judging as a character flaw. But what I'm telling you is, is that's the seed of your superpower. As you go through your own hero's journey, in the journey of your life, and as you mature and as you grow and learn and as you commit yourself to transforming yourself and transforming your mind, that weakness will transform into your greatest superpower. Principle number five. You chose your parents. So for a long time, I blame my parents for the way that I was. I blame my mom for making me a worrier because she was a worrier. I blame my dad for me feeling like I wasn't good enough because of the way that I experienced my father growing up and. But the truth is, is that I chose my parents. I believe that we come into this life having learned from previous lives. In deciding what it is that we want to learn and grow and expand into in this life and in that, we choose our parents. Your parents were meant to install programs, the wounds or the traumas into you because one of the purposes of your life is to transform that trauma into who you're meant to become. We only become the light because we experience the shadow. We only become good because we experience bad. We only become confident and faithful because we experience worry and doubt. So part of the process of this life is choosing your parents, knowing in advance that they're going to be installing some programs into you, that your life purpose is to transform. And so often we blame our parents for who they were for us. But in fact, if you look at it, oftentimes our parents carry their own wounds that they passed on to us, and. And before they leave this life, oftentimes they never let go of those wounds. They never transform those wounds. They came in as soldiers of transformation, carrying their own burdens and pushing those burdens onto us so that we in this lifetime could unlock the power of those burdens and step into our greatness. Now, sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow. When we experience abandonment or physical or sexual abuse. I'm not saying that we don't wish that these things hadn't occurred. I'm just saying that they did. And you chose these things so that you could transform the burden into a gift and be that gift for the rest of humanity. Principle number six. All suffering is caused by your own thinking. When I was studying in India, this is one of my biggest takeaways that I received that the suffering that I experienced in my life. Forget about some of the suffering that you see out there, but the suffering that you experience in your own life, the stress, the anxiety, the overwhelm. I don't mean the physical pain. I mean the emotional and psychological suffering as a result of one thing and one thing only. And that is your own thinking. And when you really get clear on this that it's not that I lost my job that is invoking my suffering, but it's my fear that I'm not going to be able to pay my mortgage at the end of the month and survive. It's my own thinking about losing my job. It's not that I don't have a partner in life or a soulmate yet. It's the belief that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life that is causing me my pain and suffering. It's not the amount of money in my bank account. It's my belief that I'm never going to be able to have financial abundance and prosperity that's causing my personal suffering. You start to realize that all suffering is a self inflicted wound. And you have the capacity within you to transform your suffering into a powerful state by changing your own thinking. We are not victims of our external circumstances. We're actually victims of our own mind. But that's something that we can control. All suffering is caused by your own thinking. Change your thoughts and you can transform your emotional experience of life. Principle number seven. Community overcomes challenges. This is something that I learned in my addiction recovery. If you want to create anything great in your life, or if you want to overcome any challenge, it is not a do it yourself project. It is a do it with others. And the reason for this is because in order to transform a problem into a solution, it requires energy. Energy transforms problems into solutions. And that energy comes from connectivity with other human beings. When you align yourself with other people who you have genuine, authentic relationships with, it creates a power within the nucleus of your own life. You start to bring in resources, resources, thoughts, ideas, support that allow you to transform any circumstance or situation. I could have never gotten sober in my recovery program without other people. I could have never become successful as an entrepreneur without other people. I could have never become the person that I've become, the husband that I've become, the father that I've become without other people. And unfortunately, there's this idea oftentimes that we learn from our parents as we're growing up that we need to do it on our own, that asking for help is a weakness, but that's not actually true. Asking for help is a strength because not only does it support you, but it gives other people the opportunity to be in service, and we start to connect as one human family. Community overcomes challenges. Principle number eight. Authenticity unlocks greatness. I had the opportunity to speak at an event with somebody who I admired, another speaker, the Reverend T.D. jakes. And as I was able to connect with him in the green room before I went on stage, I was letting him know that I really appreciated him. And I appreciated that when I was in my darkest times, I listened to his videos and his voice lifted me up and I shared with him my experience. Struggling in addiction recovery, struggling financially, being alone for as long as I was. He actually got out on stage and said, I met an extraordinary man back there, and he's going to come out here and share his greatness with you. And the reason why he's so extraordinary and the reason why he's been so successful is because he doesn't throw his stars. He throws his scars. He said, when you are authentic and you allow people to see you, they see themselves. And in today's world, there are so many people, especially in the influencer, YouTube, Instagram celebrity universe, who present a perfect picture that we can never actually accomplish. And that is a vulnerability, because then we're not actually being ourselves. Authenticity allows people to connect with you. One of the top two things that I hear on the show is that people love me, not only for my ability to distill complex concepts into simple frameworks they can integrate, but because of my authenticity. Authenticity unlocks your greatness.

And not being you requires so much energy to hold it all together, to be able to put that fake facade in place, and it becomes draining and not sustainable over time. So the beauty of it is when you're being Yourself. It's easy, it's relaxed, it doesn't require a lot of energy, but it's actually what attracts and magnetizes people to you. Principle number nine. You are important. You are an essential perspective of God, or infinite intelligence in the world right now, there are about 7 billion perspectives. Every single one is important. Every person is connecting and interacting with all other people in this incredible superorganism that coordinates the advancement of civilization and humanity. You're here for a purpose. And you may not know what that is right now, but that will become clear to you over time. And that clarity accelerates when you can acknowledge that you are important. You are important. No matter where you are in your life right now, no matter what you've accomplished or what you're struggling with, you're an essential part of the human family. And it's important for you to acknowledge this, that you are good enough, that you do matter, that you are important. I remember those times where I was living in depression and living in anxiety and feeling like, why did it even matter that I was here? And if I had given up then, I would be living the life that I'm living now. And if I didn't live the life that I'm living now, I wouldn't be able to impact so many people who have expressed that their lives have been changed by my work. And so don't judge yourself based on the chapter that you're in right now. Know that you're on your hero's journey and just decide that you are important. And in what way you are important will become clear to you over time. Principle number 10, what you make matter matters. This was something one of my mentors taught me. She said, thoughts are things and they're creating your reality. And what you put your focus and attention on and how you put your focus and attention on it becomes reality. And this beautiful statement that she made was an articulation of how physics works. If you focus on the things that you want, they will materialize into your life. If you focus on your problems, those things will materialize as well too. What you make matter matters. There was a book written on this called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It's the number one best selling success and wealth book in the history of the world. And Napoleon studied the most successful people in the world at that time. And he came up with 13 observations of the things that they did. But the central tenet was that they created their own reality, that what they thought became reality. What you make matter becomes matter. Principle number 11. Everything you want is already on the way. Whatever your dreams are, those aren't hallucinations or simple imaginations. That's you tuning into a potential that exists right now in what would be referred to as the fourth dimension or the quantum field, or the akashic record, the ideas you have. The vision that you have is actually something that already exists. And by tuning into it, that activates that potential in the field, and that potential starts to make its way into your reality. What's required here is to be patient. But it's important to understand that the dreams you have, the vision you have, the imagination you have, is not something that you're making up. It's something that already exists, that you're tuning into. And so with a little bit of effort, on a day to day basis, one day at a time, and holding that faith and vision, everything you want will materialize because everything that you want is actually already on the way. Principle number 12. When nothing's working, try doing nothing. This was a principle that I learned from a guy named Frank Kinslow, who wrote a little book. The title of the book is exactly that. When nothing's working, try doing nothing. There are times in our life where we experience a problem and we try to attack the problem and the problem just gets bigger. And the reason for that is, as Einstein said, we can't solve a problem with the same frequency that created it. When you're trying to attack a problem, you're in the problem frequency.

And so oftentimes we have to step away from a problem, and that's how the problem resolves itself. This is very counterintuitive, particularly in high performance and entrepreneurship, where we're told, in order to solve a problem, just work harder, wake up earlier, hustle and grind more. But when problems show up in my life and I'm not able to solve them, I step away from the problem. I go back to the solution frequency. Well, what is solution? Well, it's the things that you love in your life, because at one point in time, those things were not there. And that was a problem, but you overcame that problem. And so now you live in nature. Now you have a bathtub, now you have the money to buy a coffee, now you have some friends, go do those things, be in the frequency of the solution and watch how the problem transforms. You'll have a new thought or a new idea to approach the problem differently from the frequency of solution. Oftentimes we step away from the problem and the problem resolves itself. So when nothing's working, do Nothing. Principle number 13 God wants a personal relationship with you. I did not grow up in a religious family. My mom was Christian, my father was Jewish. We didn't go to church or temple. We celebrated all of the commercial holidays, Christmas, Easter, Passover, Hanukkah. But we weren't a religious family. I didn't grow up in a relationship with God. I found God in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. In my 12 step program. I built a relationship with a higher power of my own understanding. I found that that personal relationship is very important. In fact, I prayed for that personal relationship for a long time. I understood the concept of God, but I wanted to feel like I was with God. I wanted to feel the relationship with God that I never got with my father because I wanted to have a divine father. I wanted the type of relationship that that little shepherd boy, David had when he stood up in front of Goliath with full faith and conv. And said, today will be my victory, not yours. So, and I've shared this in other episodes. More recently, over the last year, I started praying for a personal relationship with God. And through a series of synchronicities, I was brought to a morning routine where I write to God on a daily basis. Not every single day, but I get up and I write a love letter to my heavenly father. The kind of relationship again that I wanted to have with my dad, that I never got. And it's been really helpful now having my son Gabriel. He's three years old, because some mornings when he wakes up and I wake up with him, he wants nothing to do with his baba. He wants to play with his toys. He wants to see his mommy. And he'll tell me, no, Baba, I don't want you, Baba. And it just brought to my awareness that that must be how God feels when he's waiting every single morning to have a relationship with us. And we say, no, Baba, I'm too busy with work. No, Baba, I'm too busy with worry. And so I decided that I wanted to have a personal relationship with God. And the beautiful thing about life is that when you ask, you receive. And it's important for me because there are always times when my mind will not get me through a circumstance or a situation. And I have to surrender to a power greater than myself. There are things that I can control and things I can't control. And I have to be able to turn those things over to someone or something that I trust will resolve them. And I get that in my personal relationship with God. Principle number 14, there's no doing it Perfect. So I still get anxious, I still worry, I still move into suffering, and I still say things that I shouldn't that I regret saying. But the point of life is not to be perfect. I like how the great teacher Abraham Hicks says, you never get it all done. We're continuing to learn and refine and grow and evolve as human beings. We're continuing to discover new character flaws or ways of being that we would like to work on and improve as a person. I think that's a big part of the journey of life. And so it's important to not move into self judgment because there's no doing it perfect and there's no need in order to do it perfect. If you want to change your life, there's a passage in scripture that says, all you need is the faith of a mustard seed. Small changes in your mindset, small changes in behavior, and small shifts in daily action can move mountains. And so if you want to have a more abundant life, if you want to have a healthier life, if you want to have a more connected and clarified and spiritual life, it's not that far away. It just requires small shifts in the way that you're doing things and not putting the pressure of perfection on yourself. Principle number 15 there is no force more powerful than a changed mind. So if you want to change your circumstance or situation, it's not about trying to control your external environment. It's about looking at the thoughts that you're having and changing them. Your beliefs are dictating your destiny. You really are creating your reality. And so oftentimes people say to me, well, if what I believe is creating my reality, how do I become aware of the beliefs that are creating it that I'm not aware of? And my answer is always the same. Pay attention to the reaction you have to the problems in your life. The thoughts that you have about the things that you don't like. These aren't a reaction to your circumstances or situation. They're actually the thoughts and beliefs that you've been having and holding for a very long time that are creating the challenges in your life. Change those thoughts and you change your reality. So I hope you love this episode as much as I loved sharing it with you. Do me a favor, pay it forward. Share it with someone. If you haven't yet commented, leave me a rating or review. Whether you're listening, on the audio or video platforms, and most importantly, subscribe. We like to provide all of this incredible content for you, and the way that we receive a thank you is through your subscription and it's the way we grow the Stream channel. I love you so much and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.DavidBear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week. I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released, along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free Mind Hack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people established a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.