Today Sarah dives into the common but often unspoken experience of imposter feelings at work. If you've ever felt like a fraud or doubted your achievements, you're not alone—and this episode will help you kickstart the process of overcoming those thoughts.
[00:00] Introduction
Meet your host, Sarah Archer, leadership coach and career strategist.
Overview of the episode: imposter feelings and their impact.
[01:15] What Are Imposter Feelings?
Statistics: 70% of adults experience imposter feelings at some point.
Triggering situations: new roles, promotions, or stepping out of comfort zones.
[04:20] The Disconnect Between Perception and Reality
Telltale signs of imposter feelings: doubting accomplishments and fearing exposure.
The role of internalized rules and harsh self-judgment.
[07:00] Roots of Imposter Feelings
Potential origins: childhood, early career experiences, or authority fears.
Sarah shares her personal story of overcoming imposter feelings.
[10:10] The Brain’s Coping Mechanisms
Strategies like perfectionism, avoidance, and overworking to manage feelings of exposure.
The exhausting impact on confidence, career growth, and mental energy.
[13:00] Breaking the Pattern
Understanding imposter feelings as a psychological pattern, not a permanent state.
Levels of change: environment, capabilities, beliefs, and identity.
[15:30] Real-Life Transformation: Sally’s Story
A client’s journey from imposter feelings to confidence in a new leadership role.
The importance of embedding new thinking patterns.
[17:30] Actionable Strategy: Identify and Reframe Your Rules
Unearthing unhelpful rules with prompts:
Reframing rules as if advising a friend.
[18:50] Final Thoughts and Next Steps
Take time to identify unconscious rules and seek support if needed.
Resources and coaching opportunities available on Sarah’s website.
Useful Links
Sign up for Weekly Career Inspiration
Learn about Leadership & Advancement Coaching Programmes
Join The Love What You Do Facebook Group
Connect with Sarah on LinkedIn
Rate & Review the Podcast
If you found this episode of Unstuck & Unstoppable helpful, please do rate and review it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
If you're kind enough to leave a review, please do let Sarah know so she can say thank you. You can always reach her at: sarah@careertreecoaching.co.uk
Welcome to Unstuck and Unstoppable,
the podcast for ambitious female
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:leaders who want to create more impact,
income, and influence in their careers.
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:feel connected to their passion
and purpose, but without
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:selling out or burning out.
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:I'm Sarah Archer, a leadership coach
and career strategist, helping women
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:like you thrive in leadership roles
while staying true to your values.
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:I'm the founder of CareerTree
Coaching and have over 15 years of
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:coaching experience and significant HR
leadership experience to share with you.
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:I know as a female leader it can
be hard to find time to focus
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:on your career aspirations.
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:The day job can be all consuming.
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:Plus, no matter how senior you are,
there are always going to be times
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:when you feel stuck, when you have
self doubt, or feel like an imposter.
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:And that's where unstuck
and unstoppable comes in.
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:Each week I'll be sharing practical
strategies, insightful interviews and
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:inspiring stories to help you boost
your confidence, lead with purpose
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:and achieve sustainable success.
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:If you're ready to stop playing
small and unlock the incredible
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:potential you have within you and feel
unstoppable, you're in the right place.
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:Let's get started.
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:Welcome to episode two of the
Unstuck and Unstoppable podcast.
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:I am so pleased you're here.
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:The reason I chose today's session was
because this is a topic that comes up
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:quite often for clients that I might be
working with, either through my leadership
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:programs or through my career confidence
program, transform your confidence.
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:as I'm going to explain the statistics
show that, a lot of people imposter
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:at different points in their career.
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:And so I thought it would be useful to
do a session on imposter feelings and
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:give you a technique to help you start
to work on it because obviously we can't
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:in 15 minutes, and I'll explain why as we
go through this, switch it around so you
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:no longer have those imposter feelings.
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:It is a process of addressing the thinking
patterns that have emerged, but I'm going
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:to give you a technique to kickstart that
process if you feel this is something that
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:you might be grappling with at the moment.
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:And if it's something you want
to work with me on a deeper level
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:with, then you can just message me
directly and have a chat about it.
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:There will be a strategy to take away
to begin to work on tackling this.
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:you might be feeling that, sometimes
you're a fraud at work, sometimes you
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:might be worried that you're going to be
found out, maybe you think you're going to
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:be exposed as not being as good as people
think you are, you might have a level of
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:anxiety about your performance and you
might have that dread on a Sunday night of
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:Monday morning arriving, and they're all
very common because what's important is
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:often when we feel like an imposter, we
don't want to tell anybody that we feel
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:like an imposter because that's the level
of vulnerability that we just can't go to.
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:And so we feel like we're
the only person who might be
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:worried about our performance.
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:We might appear confident to other people.
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:We might be in a leadership position where
people think, yeah, we've got it nailed.
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:We know what we're doing.
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:We're good at what we do.
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:But internally, does that, disconnect
between how we see ourselves
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:and how other people see us?
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:and the research tells us that around
70 percent of adults, it's not just
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:women, but tends to affect women,
More than men, but around 70 percent
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:of adults at some point in their
career will have imposter feelings.
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:And for some people that
might be a permanent state.
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:So it might feel like you've
always had these feelings.
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:They've always been around.
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:It's something you're
always having to deal with.
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:And for other people, it might be
something that can come and go.
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:So it might be triggered by a promotion
or, moving into a new role, can then bring
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:up these imposter feelings, , or it might
be doing something out of your comfort
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:zone that might trigger imposter feelings.
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:certain situations can trigger,
those feelings of imposter.
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:I don't want to call it a syndrome
because it's not a syndrome.
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:let me share with you the dictionary
definition of imposter syndrome, but as I
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:said it's not a syndrome, and that is that
it's a psychological pattern in which an
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:individual doubts their accomplishments
and has a persistent and internalized
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:fear of being exposed as a fraud.
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:So the good news in that
definition is that it's a pattern.
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:It's not a fixed state, even though
it might feel like that to you.
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:it's a pattern of thinking
and obviously patterns can be
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:broken, patterns can be changed.
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:but this is why we can't do that
in 15 minutes because, if you think
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:about how long you might have been
feeling like an imposter, if it's,
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:something you've dealt with since you're
maybe early 20s, you might have had
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:those feelings for 10, 15, 20 years.
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:It's not going to be something
that's just going to be magic
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:wand and you can, get rid of it.
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:It requires a level of commitment
and motivation for change.
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:And, work often with a coach or a
counsellor, to change that thinking
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:pattern and embed new ways of thinking.
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:But the good news is that
it's possible to do that.
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:It's not something that you
have to live with forever.
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:you can change it.
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:And I think sometimes when we've had these
feelings for a long time, we think, well,
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:I've just got to accept that's how I am.
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:It's part of my personality.
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:It's part of my DNA.
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:But actually recognizing that it
doesn't have to be like that, that
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:you can choose to do something about
it with support, I think can be
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:really freeing because it's quite
exhausting living with those feelings
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:as we're going to explore in a minute.
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:The original research by the two
academics, Klantz and Eames, showed that
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:there was a telltale sign for imposter
feelings, and that was the disconnect
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:between actual and perceived performance.
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:You might be somebody who's,
very good at your job or, seen
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:as being very good at your job.
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:You get great feedback.
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:You get amazing performance reviews.
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:People look up to you.
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:You're seen as a leader and
inspiration, but inside, you're not.
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:You just think, yeah, but
I'm not really that good.
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:they've mixed me up with somebody
else, or, they're going to
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:find out, I'm going to trip up.
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:and it's that disconnect that is the
telltale sign for imposter feelings.
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:If I were to ask you to describe
your success to date, If you
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:suffer from imposter feelings,
you might say, well, I was lucky.
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:I had help to get here.
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:I was in the right
place at the right time.
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:They couldn't recruit anybody else.
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:There was only me left.
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:despite evidence to the contrary,
you cannot see yourself in the
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:way other people see you and
you judge yourself harshly.
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:now there's no definitive
cause of imposter feelings.
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:there's lots of thinking about
roots that it can come from and I'm
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:not going to go into them all today.
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:but it is useful to reflect on, where
this may have established itself.
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:It might be from your childhood.
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:It might be from a school experience.
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:It might be from early career.
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:It could be from friendship,
family situations.
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:I know for me, when I felt like an
imposter, I could trace it back to my
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:early career experience, when I worked
on the management training scheme.
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:, some of the stores that I worked in had
a very command and control environment.
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:And the management trainees often
called up to account for things
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:that might not have gone right.
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:Well, it left me with a
bit of a fear of authority.
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:It left me feeling I
wanted to be invisible.
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:I didn't want to be pushing myself
forward because that could be exposing.
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:And so I can see.
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:where some of those thoughts came from.
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:and certain management styles there were
not conducive to, to me as an individual.
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:so it was helpful for me to recognize,
okay, that's where it came from.
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:And that's why sometimes I
struggle with the visibility piece.
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:I've done a lot of work on it now,
and I've got through that, but I can
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:definitely see where it came from.
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:what tends to happen is once we've
had some of those experiences, is
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:that our brain starts to develop
coping and protecting strategies,
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:to enable us to function.
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:Because our brain primary focus is
to keep us safe, and therefore it
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:has to scan for risk, What it then
develops is a strategy to avoid risk.
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:If you've got imposter feelings, the
risk is around feeling vulnerable,
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:feeling exposed, feeling that you're
going to be held to account, feeling
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:that you're going to be found out.
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:And so your brain will develop
strategies to avoid that, which might
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:look like holding yourself back.
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:It might be playing small.
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:It might be not taking risks.
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:It might be always feeling
like you need to be in control.
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:so that you are not exposed in any way.
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:And then that has an impact because
that can lead to you working crazy
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:hours because you feel like you've
always got to produce perfect work.
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:it might be that you can't
switch off or you procrastinate.
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:Or you don't push yourself,
or you avoid the limelight.
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:you might feel overwhelmed, and have
that sort of hyper vigilance, always
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:scanning for potential, exposure.
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:You might feel exhausted from
having to pretend that you're
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:confident, particularly if
you're in a leadership role.
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:or you might be feeling that you're not
fulfilling your potential because you
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:know that you're holding yourself back.
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:And all of that is, very tiring,
very exhausting, and can leave you
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:feeling that you don't have enough
energy for moving your career
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:forward in the way that you want to.
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:And I know I'm painting a bit of a bleak
picture, but if you are somebody who
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:is feeling like an imposter a lot of
the time, it can take its toll on you.
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:if you know that you're changing roles,
moving up, getting promotion, you
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:might choose to avoid that because you
know it's going to trigger imposter
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:feelings and you're going to, have to go
through all of that anxiety around it.
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:it has an impact on your career.
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:but as I said earlier, this
is a psychological pattern of
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:thinking that you can change.
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:We can think about.
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:what support we might need to change that.
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:As I mentioned earlier, you might choose
you want to work with a professional,
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:particularly if these feelings have
been around for quite a long time,
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:you might need that additional
support to help you with that change.
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:That could be a counselor, it could
be a coach, or it might be you feel,
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:Okay, I feel like I could work on
this myself or I could work on it
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:with a support of a good friend.
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:if you feel that, you've got, the space
to do that, then you can certainly
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:start to work through it and I'm
going to give you a technique to
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:start to work through some of that.
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:but it's important to think about where
the change needs to happen because
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:obviously there's levels of change
that we can make, but they're not all
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:going to have the impact that you want.
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:We can change our environment so we could
think, okay, the culture wasn't conducive
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:for me and exacerbated imposter feelings.
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:So it might be, okay, I'm going
to find a different culture.
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:So I'm going to change jobs, that
might help for a while, but it's not
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:ultimately going to change that problem.
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:Pattern of thinking, or it might be,
you can think about changing capability.
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:So I'm going to upscale because that will
make me feel more confident because I'll
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:have those skills or that qualification.
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:And again, that will help for a
while, but it won't ultimately
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:change that pattern of thinking.
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:Because the level of change that we need
to work at around imposter feelings is at
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:the beliefs level and the identity level.
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:Because even just saying, I am
someone with imposter feelings, you
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:are creating an identity around that.
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:we need to shift our thinking,
our patterns of thinking around
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:our beliefs about ourselves and
our identity that we've created.
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:that's the level we need to
be thinking about working at.
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:and that's uncomfortable.
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:Working at that level is uncomfortable.
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:And as I explained, it takes time
and commitment and motivation for
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:change, but it's definitely possible.
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:For example, I had a client that
I worked with, I would call her
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:Sally, that's not her real name,
but just to protect her identity.
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:So she worked with me on my Transform
Your Career Confidence program, which
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:is a three month program, because she
had just, got herself a new job as an
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:director, which she was going to be
starting in three months time, because
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:she was working her notice and she knew
she's always triggered by, changes in job.
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:And obviously this was a
promotion for her as well.
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:She was going to be working as
an director, as I said, and
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:she wanted to make a change.
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:She didn't want to have to go
into that, having to, manage all
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:those kind of internal feelings.
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:She was really committed to working
through the, thinking work, the
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:cognitive processing work that we
did, the belief work that we did,
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:she was really willing to experiment
with the tools and the strategies
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:that we identified would help her.
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:And she was lucky in that she could do
that experimentation in her existing
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:job before she moved into her new job.
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:It gave her an opportunity to
change her way of thinking.
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:way of approaching certain situations
and, have the opportunity to reflect
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:and think about those strategies and
to embed them when they worked for her.
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:What that meant for her was
then she went into that new role
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:feeling very differently about
herself and her capability because
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:she had a lot of experience.
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:strategies, she had new skills and new
ways of thinking, and she was committed
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:to maintaining them as well, because
it's about really embedding those new
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:thinking patterns and new approaches.
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:It can really make a difference
to have that sort of shift in how
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:you, want to feel going into a
new role or in an existing role.
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:The first thing to do, and this is the
one thing I'm going to give you to
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:think about doing today or to start
working on, is to understand the rules
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:that you have created for yourself
about you, the way of being for you.
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:we all create rules that help us
navigate life, some of which are helpful.
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:So I mustn't step off the pavement into
the road when there's a car coming.
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:That's a really helpful rule that an
unconscious rule that we have developed
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:over time that protects us But some of
our rules that we create for ourselves
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:and because there are there tend to
be unconscious We're not always aware
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:of how distorted they might be They
become unhelpful to us for example
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:a few of these rules could be things
like I should keep my head down so they
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:People in authority don't focus on me.
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:I mustn't challenge or
outshine anyone senior to me.
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:That might have been a result of a boss
who, tried to keep you small because you
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:were more able than them, potentially.
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:I must deliver everything to an
exceptional standard, which could have
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:been early school or career experience
where maybe you got hauled over the
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:coals for something that wasn't.
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:100 percent but those rules get
embedded and then we look for evidence
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:to support those rules and they
become our way of navigating life.
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:What we want to try and do is actually
understand what rules you might have
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:created that are not helpful to you,
that you could think about changing.
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:and by making them conscious, it helps us
to see, how unhelpful they are and enables
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:us to get a different perspective on that.
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:So you can unearth your rules
and it will take time because
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:they're more unconscious.
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:You might have to have a few goes
at this to bring out the more
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:unconscious rules, but, you could
answer these three sentences.
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:To try and flesh out your roles.
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:So if I was really smart, I would
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:I know I'll be competent at X,
insert, skill, capability, whatever
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:it might be, when, dot, dot, dot.
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:I should always, dot, dot, dot.
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:Being able to answer those
questions can help you see what
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:might be getting in your way.
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:, for example, if I were really
smart, I would understand
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:everything the first time.
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:I know I'll be competent at X when
I know everything there is to know.
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:these are rules that
I've heard people say.
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:it's understanding what yours are,
and then when you've managed to flesh
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:them out, picking the one that is the
most unhelpful and, to then reframe it.
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:a great way to reframe it is
to think about what you would say
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:to a friend if they had that rule
to help change the perspective.
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:If you had a friend who said,
If I were really smart, I would
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:understand everything the first time,
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:What would you say to a
friend who had that rule?
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:Well, you might say, is that reasonable?
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:Does everybody understand
everything first time?
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:What about the levels
of complexity involved?
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:Isn't it a good thing to sometimes go
away and really deep dive into something?
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:And help to shift and
reframe that potential role.
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:So that's my So my takeaway for you
for today is to think about fleshing
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:out your rules and then noticing
the one that could be the most
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:unhelpful and to then reframe it.
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:Sometimes you need help to get
these unconscious rules out.
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:think about whether there's somebody
who could support you with that.
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:if you want some help around this
because you want to go deep on some of
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:these things, Get in touch with me and
we can have a chat about working on
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:this together to help you move forward.
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:more confidently in
your leadership career.
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:I know that's a lot of
information to take in.
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:I don't want to overwhelm you.
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:There's lots of strategies and
tools we can work on, but I wanted
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:to give you something to help
you recognize where you might be
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:tripping yourself up by unearthing
some of these unconscious rules.
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:Thank you so much for listening
to this episode of the Unstuck
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:and Unstoppable podcast.
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:I have lots of free resources you
can access on my website, ww.career
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:tree coaching.co uk, and I'll
also put links in the show notes.
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:If you found this episode
helpful, then please subscribe
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:so you don't miss the next one.
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:And please do share it with a
friend and leave me a review
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:and I will personally thank you.
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:Remember, you're capable of more
than you know, shine brightly.
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:Lead boldly and unlock the
extraordinary potential within you.
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:Be unstoppable.