In this episode we define what we at Alignment Essentials refer to as contrast and discuss it’s crucial role in our journey. After all, you gotta know hot to know cold.

About the Host:

Jani Roberts is the Owner of Alignment Essentials, a health and wellness company spanning the fitness, self-improvement, and mindfulness spaces. She is the creator of the Warrior® Workout, Moving Meditations™, Inspirational Conversations™ and all of the Alignment Essentials programming content. In addition, Jani is an International best-selling author of the book, Navigating the Clickety-Clack, How to Live a Peace-Filled Life in a Seemingly Toxic World.

Jani has over 40 years of experience in the health and wellness field. She owned and operated a large gym franchise in Florida, as well as a boutique studio for several years where she specialized in health and wellness related services, products, preventative health education, personal training, small group fitness classes, private nutrition and health coaching.

She has literally trained hundreds of thousands of instructors around the world, and she was the featured choreographer and performer on numerous training DVDs. She has presented for dozens of large Health and Wellness brands such as Nike, and Adidas. She holds several certifications through ACE, AFAA and NASM.

Jani travels extensively as a speaker and presenter sharing her Alignment Essentials wellness tools and helping people find more joy in their lives and is currently training at the Shamanic Institute of Healing. 

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What? Life isn't supposed to suck? Get out of here. Life is supposed to be good for me? I don't think so. Truth? Did you know that you have the power to create your own reality? True? Did you know that you can live the life that you've always desired? Holy? That's right. And that's why we're here. Are you ready, unless you're on Joy overload, you've come to the right place, it's time to get out of your own way and start creating more of what you want, and less of what you don't end up with the excuses. I'm your host, Jani Roberts, let's do this.

Welcome back to the podcast that is intentionally designed to rock your world a little bit. Because we want you to check in on a regular basis with yourself to see whether or not you are experiencing more of what you want, and less of what you don't want. Because the bottom line is guys that we are in control. As much as everybody would like to encourage us to believe that we are not, we simply are in control of a lot. And we're going to get into that today. What do we mean when we talk about being in control? When we look out there and things seems so chaotic, we are able to control our thoughts. And we're gonna get into that today and discuss a topic that we refer to at alignment essentials. As contrast, what is contrast all about? You may see some of our jargon, embrace the contrast. Yeah. Or I've got a lot of contrast in my life right now. If you're if you're joining us in social media and that kind of thing. So what is that all about? And why is it so important? Well, first of all, it's tremendously important because it will shift your perspective of the experiences that have occurred throughout your lifetime, regardless of them being uncomfortable or comfortable experiences, and really help you to look at things in a different way in a way that helps you to understand how much more in control you really are, of your experience, and what is going on in your world. So contrast, let's get there.

Let's use some examples. Let's say I'm moving throughout my day, and it's going really well, I get up, I go through my rituals, I have my hot tea or coffee, I pet my cat, I've got my day kind of, you know, mapped out in my mind, I know where I need to go what I need to do. And while I may be completely aware of the fact that it's not going to go exactly the way I haven't planned, I have set intention, I want this day to be a good day. Now, if you're not there yet, if you're not working a practice that is offering you the tools to get you to that place, then we need to talk, go back and listen to some of the previous episodes, particularly the early early episodes, and discover what that is all about. Because that is part of this practice, a part of many practices and exclusively the way we do it here and intentionally setting pre paving our day. So we aren't a victim to what we experienced throughout the day or, or we minimize that feeling dramatically minimize it. So our day is mapped out we're feeling good about it, we're getting into it. Now, I'm not saying that our job is the perfect job or necessarily where we want to spend the rest of our life in our career. I'm not saying that all our relationships are, you know, rolling out exactly the way that we would like them to. But what I am saying is that we are paying more attention as a result of this practice, to what is working in our life than what is not. And we are very intentionally moving into our day. visualizing it the way we want it to go.

So we're not waking up getting caught up in, oh god, I gotta go into the office and I'm gonna run right into that asshole again, because they're always there. They're not going away. Okay, fair enough. But we've done the work, set the intention. Because this is what we can control is how we prepaid the day. We certainly can't control how that person is going to behave. I think we'd agree on that.

But we can control how we're going to play this game of life and what we're going to think about it. So we've set intention, we've decided already how this is going to go and we jump into our day and we're driving to work or walking from our

Non workspace of our home into our workspace of our home. And we get right in there. And we get into, let's say, our first zoom call or first office meeting, or the first thing that's on our list, and boom, something blows us out of the water. Or let's say, for example, we get to workvirtually are live.

And we are met with the fact that we are being let go, that there are going to be some changes, and our department has just been eliminated. Or our position has just been eliminated, or what have you. It's just like a left hook. knocks us out, we didn't see it coming. Not saying all contrast is like this. But we're going to start where you really vibe up to what I'm saying. Okay, so maybe it's not the job thing that you can relate to maybe you find out that a dear one, transitioned, or someone is seriously ill, or something's happened at the local school where your kids are where you drop them off in the morning, this is boom, knock you off your feet kind of contrast. What do we do with that? How do we manage that? How do we stop ourselves from being completely consumed by it by just going in a full reaction mode? Because

I don't know about you, but I certainly wouldn't blame anybody who did. This is big stuff. This is difficult stuff. And it's layered, right? It's not the only thing we're dealing with in our lives. There are a lot of things going on, and then boom, this frickin mess hits us in the head, right? We didn't see it coming. So perhaps we're a bit numb. Perhaps we slipped straight into anger. Perhaps we just start to sob. No judgment on any of these reactions. Maybe we laugh, because we've been putting it out there for a while that we really didn't like our job. It didn't pay enough. We didn't like the people we didn't. It wasn't inspirational. We had no passion around it. We just were doing it for the benefits, whatever. Right? So maybe we do kind of laugh, laugh or chuckle a bit because it's like, well,

I've been saying all along this job sucks. So go figure that I have manifested my departure from it.That response leads us into a bit more understanding of contrast. We are surprised but we're not surprised. We're upset that as upset as we thought we would be. That's interesting.

We might even say to a friend or to ourselves, you know if this would happen to me a year ago or five years ago, I would had a complete meltdown. Now I'm like, well what's going on when we react that way is that our inner being is knowing that there is more for us that we have more to offer and more to receive. And it's time to move on. When we freak out. And I don't know about you, but I've done it. We freak out. That's fear.

Because we're like oh shit. Oh shit. I don't have enough money stashed. I've got bills to coming up. The kids need this, this and blah, blah, blah, right? We panic. Fear creeps in? Oh, my gosh, what am I gonna do? Pause it's gonna work. And and we just start reacting like crazy. And we can spiral quickly. When we start to look at what's really going on, like there is something bigger, there is something better. We have the ability to create more, that there is enough to go around, and that we're choosing not to buy into this fear. That's everywhere. I don't know. I see it all around me. I see people reacting from a place of fear all day long. And I check in with myself all the time. are you reacting from coming from a place of fear, or from a place of love, like what's going on here, check it and check it all the time.

And the reason that we encourage this check in is because we know that fear can be powerful, but not more powerful than our truth unless we give it that power. And of course we all have and we probably will at some point again in our lives, but we don't need to do it on a regular basis and we don't need to hang out there for a long period of time. Like perhaps we've done in the past. We could we should, we will we can choose something differently. So I want you to think about and jot this down if it's helpful a situation in your life, when at the time, you freaked out. It was a complete disaster. I can go real quick to my first divorce like, Whoa, I haven't had a second divorce. Did kind of sound like that. But, you know, maybe I will. Who knows? I don't worry about that. The universe has got me.

I'm not codependent on my relationships. I don't depend on them to bring me joy that they're icing on my cake, but they're not my cake. I can create whatever I want. I'm knowing that now. But not that, then I panicked. So jot that down, what was it for you reach for something? Now, as you reach for this something, think about how you felt about it? A month, six months or a year later? Or even now? And were you able or are you able to see now that time has passed?

How this may have served you this situation that at the time was painful, frustrating, uncomfortable? Humiliating, whatever it whatever those feelings were got no judgment there. You were where you were at the time you were there. And it is what it was, is what it is, because maybe you're dealing with it right now. Was there a time after this event, that you were able to go Wow. Now that I've now that I've sat with this for a while, or moved on with my life, and allowed other things to come in relationships, opportunities, whatever it might be. Now, I can see how that very difficult time actually served me. Huh, it was for the better in the very big picture of my life. So that event that occurred, that is what we would refer to as contrast, like a Whoa, left hook boom, kind of thing. Now, again, all contrast is not have to come in large doses like that. It could be little bumps in the road. But I'm just again, going to the big bumps, becausewe can all relate. It's easy to get there quickly, right? Here we are contrast in our face, when we're doing this work. And we start to get our head around the fact that this is what's happening. This is contrast. So I've got to know hot to know cold. I've got to know what a dysfunctional relationship looks like. Perhaps perhaps in order let me say this differently. I've got to know what a dysfunctional relationship looks like in order to appreciate a functional relationship. Now, I'm not saying that I can't just skip the dysfunction and go straight to the great relationship. Absolutely, I can do that. But in some space, along the journey somewhere, we are probably going to experience something like this. If it's not in a relationship. It's in the workspace, whatever. But we're probably going to experience something like this when we're able to step back and not get sucked into the fear when we're able to really pause and go okay, wait a second. I'm about to lose my shit. But how is that going to serve me? What are my choices here? What is the best thing for me to do in this moment? Now this is big.

Alright, again, when you're dealing with something smaller, and I mean, I'm talking about this in every space of your life. Let's say you get cut off pulling into a parking space and you could get out and lose it on this other human being or just scream your head off through your Her window, or you could go, I don't know what's going on in that other person's life, maybe they needed it more than I do. Maybe they're an asshole, I don't know. But I don't have to assume that I have no idea what's going on in that person's life, where they've been what they've been through nada. So is it really worth me getting all tangled up in that maybe it would just be better if I parked further away and walked a little bit, that's an error, a lot of power and choice. So little too big. We experienced contrast all day. And I don't know about you. But there's something magical about giving something to someone just being the giver, it's really fun to be the receiver. Don't get me wrong. But there's nothing like giving, I just want you to have that.

Just have it. Universe has got my back, just go ahead. You do you. And I'll I'll sorted. And then maybe I go park somewhere else and I bump into a friend, I haven't seen him forever. And then forget all about the parking space. Or I get to the point with my practice. And I'm like, Ah ha, there was a reason I didn't park there. I went there. So this takes us right back into that giving mode. You just chose to give that parking space instead of react to what was being taken away from you. Because in reality, nothing was being taken away from you. What was being created was an opportunity for you to park somewhere else where you would bump into that friend, do you follow me? This is not always easy in the moment. In the moment, if we're not aware of what contrast is if we're not tuned in and tapped into what's what we're creating, in our experience, and how the universe is really working to support us, then we're the victim of our environment, right? We're like, we're just our life is happening to us, we're not participating in it. But when we are able to step back and pause, it's a whole different party. We are now understanding Okay, wait a second, this situation that's occurring. That feels instantaneously like not a good thing in some way, shape or form? You know, depending on how big and how little right? But regardless not a good thing. We're able to step back and go Well, let me just look at this a couple of different ways, or, because I don't really know for sure. I don't have necessarily all the information. I don't need to go down the rabbit hole immediately. I can wait a minute, gather information, step back, take that pause, process, and then decide how I want to respond. Because in doing that, in working my practice in that way, I am actually taking care of me first, I'm not letting anybody get away with anything.

I'm not in any way, shape, or form giving in to anything. I'm simply choosing what is best for me if nothing is more important than that. I feel good. Then Hang on, wait a second, let me let me let me check in. And again, when these things when the contrast comes in, it's it's big, it might take quite some time for us to be able to reflect and go, Wow, I can see the divinity and what happened, I can now recognize how that divorce was the best thing for me, I might have stayed in that marriage for another decade. I was in the moment, felt like I was being pushed out of it. I didn't have a choice. But I actually attracted that into my experience. And now I'm in a relationship. That's amazing. And I actually never would have experienced that I never would have really known what love really felt like in a relationship if I wasn't pushed out of that other relationship. And that doesn't mean that that other relationship was a waste of my time didn't serve me just the opposite. It prepared me for where I am now. See, this comes with age as well because we're able to reflect we have we've been around longer. We've made more of what some people call mistakes. So we've learned from them. The AE perspective is we didn't make any mistakes. We're just sifting and sorting. We got to know how to no cold. I've got to try shoes on until I find a pair that fits the right way. It might be the right color. They might be the right height. They might serve the right function. But I gotta try a few pairs on before I know for sure and

Even after I choose it, I choose this pair of shoes. It might be a week and I'm like, Oh, these are killing my feet. finding what works is a fun, fun game to play in life. It doesn't need to be torture. We don't need to punish ourselves. Because we've done it all wrong, we haven't done anything wrong. We do the best that we can with what we have in the moment. With what we know, we can't know what we don't know. If we weren't taught something, how are we supposed to know it? And if we were taught something, is it for our well being? Is it really our truth? Or somebody else just pushing theirs upon us? And then we're adapting to that and accepting their journey, not our own?

Yeah, there's a lot to this. So embrace the contrast warrior. Embrace it. Instead of pushing against pushing against pushing through, it's so exhausting. Just embrace it. What could I learn from this experience? control my thoughts. I control my mind. I can choose to embrace the contrast or not. If I've been pushing against it and not embracing it, it was probably because I didn't even understand what it was. Now I know before I didn't, it's really that simple. We do not need to torture ourselves over our past. We need to be in our now experience the joy and the Now moment understanding that what comes forth is just contrast.

Okay, will some of it be uncomfortable? Probably. But will we expand if we choose to embrace it? Absolutely. Will that bring more joy into our lives? Most certainly. No question. You don't believe me? I don't blame you.Practice it. Try it. Save yourself where you got to lose. But a parking spot. So with that, I let your jet remember to embrace the contrast sift and sort and enjoy the journey. Until next time, nothing but love. Peace