Transcripts
You came here with a
profound spiritual gift.
Speaker:Your sensitivity is a gift that was
handed to you from the moment you
Speaker:were born, and it's a gift
that is meant to be cherished.
Speaker:Hello and welcome back to
Remember Why You Are Here,
Speaker:a podcast for seekers and sensitives
where you can relax, receive,
Speaker:reconnect yourself, and remember
the most important thing of all:
Speaker:why you're here. I'm Asia Suler, author,
Speaker:Earth intuitive, teacher,
Speaker:and today I'm going to be answering
your questions about sensitivity.
Speaker:I released a podcast called "What it
actually means to be sensitive," and we
Speaker:talked about the deeper
layers of sensitivity,
Speaker:what this actually means on a
soul level, on a level of spirit,
Speaker:on a much deeper, even
nervous-system level,
Speaker:than what you've probably been handed.
Speaker:And I put out this call for your
questions about sensitivity,
Speaker:and I got some really amazing
ones-both over on my voicemail
Speaker:and via email. And so I'm really excited
to dive into these questions today.
Speaker:If you identify as a
sensitive an empath or an HSP,
Speaker:then this episode is absolutely for you.
Speaker:And it was so nourishing to dive into
this material as I get ready to teach
Speaker:Earth Angel School in just a couple weeks.
Speaker:I'm so excited about this 11-week program.
Speaker:This program was specifically
designed for sensitive people.
Speaker:It is a spiritual school that is
here to help you understand yourself
Speaker:as a sensitive person, somatically,
spiritually, intuitively.
Speaker:The school was designed to help
you redefine the way in which you
see yourself:to not just see yourself as a sensitive or even an empath,
see yourself:but to understand that
you are an Earth Angel,
see yourself:that you came here with
a really profound and big
see yourself:mission.
see yourself:And this school is arising out of my
entire lifetime of learning what it
see yourself:means to be sensitive,
see yourself:how to work with the
superpowers of sensitivity to
really step into my gifts in
see yourself:this lifetime.
see yourself:And so this school is this
combination of somatic healing,
see yourself:spiritual fluency, earth magic,
see yourself:and I just couldn't be more
excited to get started.
see yourself:The early bird pricing
ends on Monday, April 14th.
see yourself:So if you're listening to this
before then and you're interested,
see yourself:definitely go check that out at
see yourself:AsiaSuler.com/EarthAngelSchool.
see yourself:So this topic of sensitivity is as deep
as sensitives themselves, which is very,
see yourself:very deep. So let's go
ahead and get into it.
see yourself:This first question was submitted
by several different people,
see yourself:and it's one that I think is
just so important to talk about
see yourself:because just by talking about it,
see yourself:we can actually undo or
start to unravel one of the
see yourself:things that is most challenging
or most harmful for sensitive
see yourself:people. Okay, so here's the question:
see yourself:What is sensitivity versus what is trauma?
see yourself:So this question was submitted by a
handful of folks who really had this query
see yourself:for themselves, like, Am I sensitive,
see yourself:or have I experienced trauma?
see yourself:Is high sensitivity a thing,
see yourself:or is it really just the
byproduct of living in a time
see yourself:in which trauma is very
prevalent in our experience?
see yourself:So I just want to take a
moment and, with my heart,
see yourself:reach out to everyone who submitted
this question or is just wondering about
see yourself:this question inside of themselves.
see yourself:And I want to say I feel very passionate
about answering this question because
see yourself:it really hits sensitives
in such a tender spot.
see yourself:We're always, as sensitives,
we're always wondering,
see yourself:is there something wrong with me?
see yourself:Is this normal or is there
something just wrong with me?
see yourself:Why can't I function the
way other people function?
see yourself:Why is this so much harder for me?
So when this question comes up,
see yourself:that is the first thing that I'm
feeling and wanting to respond to,
see yourself:is that it's pointing
right back towards one of
see yourself:these cycles, these loops that
we get in as sensitive people.
see yourself:And it's important that we look
at it and we start to unravel it.
see yourself:Because within this is really the
understanding of who we are and the
see yourself:utter naturalness of who we are.
see yourself:So I just wanted to start out by saying
in no uncertain terms that trauma
see yourself:and high sensitivity are
two different things.
see yourself:So there's over 20 years of research
to show that sensitivity or high
see yourself:sensitivity is a biological
trait that you were born
see yourself:this way, with a nervous system
that is simply more sensitive,
see yourself:more attuned to subtleties, more open
to sensory input. Your nervous system,
see yourself:your brain. You were born
this way and in fact,
see yourself:not only were you born this way, but
about 20% of the population was too.
see yourself:And that percentage remains
consistent over 100 different species.
see yourself:So we know that this is not just trauma,
see yourself:that people are born
see yourself:with this kind of neurodivergence.
see yourself:So this feels really
important to me to clarify.
see yourself:It's like a clarion call
of really reclaiming
see yourself:your naturalness,
see yourself:of reclaiming the inherent goodness of
this specific variety of neurodiversity.
see yourself:This is not the result of
something that is wrong with you;
see yourself:it is something that is
inherently right about you.
see yourself:It's a gift that you were born with.
see yourself:Now I understand though why
people ask this question,
see yourself:and there are some complexities to
it that I want to get into that will
see yourself:hopefully help you understand why we
even asked this question to begin with.
see yourself:So let's talk a little bit about
why this might be confusing,
see yourself:why this might be coming up. Well,
see yourself:one of the byproducts of trauma
is what's called hypervigilance,
see yourself:this sort of hyper attuned
focus on your environment,
see yourself:the sort of intense focus
on an orientation towards
see yourself:perceiving threat or danger.
Now, in contrast to this,
see yourself:or you could say in some similar tones,
see yourself:sensitive people are
also more aware of their
see yourself:environments, more sensitive
to their environments.
see yourself:Sensitive people track
and take in more detail.
see yourself:We know this to be a fact.
see yourself:And so while hypervigilance is one thing,
see yourself:the kind of attunement that sensitive
people can have for their environment-and
see yourself:were biologically designed to have for
their environment-are two different
see yourself:things. Within evolution,
see yourself:sensitive people would have been
designed to be taking in a plethora
see yourself:of sensory information because they
have the ability to process it deeply
see yourself:and notice and respond to and
help other people orient to
see yourself:more subtle patterns.
see yourself:So this doesn't just mean orienting
towards potential threats;
see yourself:this also means orienting
towards potential boons,
see yourself:potential blessings-just
potential in general.
see yourself:So let's use cats as an example here.
When a cat has been traumatized,
see yourself:which you've probably seen
at some point in your life,
see yourself:or maybe you've seen videos
of this, there's a jumpiness,
see yourself:there's this wide dilated eyes,
see yourself:there's hyperfocus looking at
one thing in the environment,
see yourself:but then being almost scared to turn
their head to look at something else.
see yourself:That's an example of hypervigilance.
That's a trauma response. Now by contrast,
see yourself:think about a cat, maybe even a big cat...
see yourself:Cats are so beautifully sensitive, right?
see yourself:Think about a cat tracking
in their environment.
see yourself:They're moving their head back and forth.
They're able to hone in on details,
see yourself:they're taking it all in.
And yes, they're still very,
see yourself:very sensitive and they're
probably noticing a lot more
than a being that wasn't
see yourself:designed to track their environment
with that much subtlety.
see yourself:But there's a settledness to
it. There's a empowerment to it.
see yourself:There's a peace to it.
And as sensitive people,
see yourself:that's how we are meant to function
in our environments. Now of course,
see yourself:many of us are coming in
with challenge or trauma.
see yourself:Many of us are maybe going in and out
of states of hypervigilance, at times,
see yourself:if we have experienced trauma.
see yourself:But I want you to just feel
somatically in your body,
see yourself:that sense of being like a
big cat that can look around,
see yourself:free to move their head,
see yourself:free to hone in on all these subtle
details as they expertly track their
see yourself:environment,
see yourself:and they fluidly and gracefully
process everything that
see yourself:they're seeing and respond.
see yourself:That is the gift of a highly
sensitive nervous system.
see yourself:Now, sensitives do have
a very active amygdala.
see yourself:The amygdala is a very ancient part of
our brain that is intimately involved
see yourself:with our emotions and is really tied
into what we think of our survival
see yourself:responses. Fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
see yourself:And so one of the things that we
see with trauma is that there can be
see yourself:a overactive amygdala in the
aftermath and the experience of
see yourself:having trauma. And so
yes, sensitive people,
see yourself:we do have a more active amygdala,
see yourself:and this is seen in the depth of
our emotion-that we tend to be
see yourself:highly emotional beings, that
we feel things really deeply.
see yourself:But just because we have more sensitivity
in one part of our brain doesn't mean
see yourself:that that's there because
we've been traumatized.
see yourself:That sensitivity is part of the
attunement that we're born with.
see yourself:It's part of the specialized gifts,
see yourself:the literal frequency
that we are tuned into,
see yourself:and it can be a really big blessing.
see yourself:This is part of what makes it
possible for us to feel things deeply,
see yourself:to be so attuned in an
almost primal way to our
see yourself:environment. With this being the case
and with the specific setup that we as
see yourself:sensitives come into this lifetime with,
see yourself:there is some evidence
that sensitive people
see yourself:might be more sensitive
or susceptible to trauma.
see yourself:And this is pretty simple or easy to
understand if you just break it down:
see yourself:if you are processing more details,
see yourself:if you take in more sensory information,
if you are more open to the world,
see yourself:then it's likely right that certain
charges that people will feel,
see yourself:that might just sort of
flow on through them,
see yourself:might be more deeply felt by
you-that you are impacted more
see yourself:deeply by things than other people are.
see yourself:Doesn't mean that there's
anything wrong with you.
see yourself:But let's go back to thinking about
the definition of what trauma is.
see yourself:Trauma if you just sort of
strip away all the layers,
see yourself:is just a charge that's too
big to be fully felt in the
see yourself:momen. Something happens,
see yourself:and the charge of that moment is just too
big for you to process in that moment.
see yourself:And so stored in the body and that process
of storing it and it living in your
see yourself:body is called trauma. So
if, as sensitive people,
see yourself:we feel more, we experience more,
see yourself:we take in more,
see yourself:then it makes sense that if we
have a big impact in our life,
see yourself:that charge is going to feel
louder, bigger, deeper, wider.
see yourself:So yes, we can be more negatively
impacted by negative stimuli.
see yourself:And yet what I've seen with
sensitive people is that we have the
see yourself:ability to do some
incredible metabolic work not
see yourself:only within ourselves,
but within the collective,
see yourself:specifically because we
have such a capacity to
see yourself:process things deeply.
see yourself:And so we have the ability to
have a big charge come our way,
see yourself:have to process the extra amplitude
of bigness that it might be,
see yourself:because of the way in which our
nervous system receives things.
see yourself:But we go so deep in the processing of
that that we can come out the other side
see yourself:with an even deeper understanding
of what it means to be human,
see yourself:of what it means to be alive,
see yourself:and the ability to help people in really
profound ways move through what they
see yourself:have experienced. Ultimately,
see yourself:why I was most passionate about speaking
to this question is that it really
see yourself:circles back around to this achilles
heel that we sensitives have,
see yourself:which is this looping thought:
There's something wrong with me.
see yourself:And what I'm seeing more
of the time is that that
see yourself:thought is actually more
impactful in the life of a
see yourself:sensitive and more challenging than
the trauma that they are healing from.
see yourself:So this thought, this one that's on loop,
see yourself:this does often come from
chronic misattunement.
see yourself:So a lot of us sensitives did not
get the kind of attunement that we
see yourself:needed from our caregivers
when we were young.
see yourself:And you could have had amazing
parents, amazing caregivers,
see yourself:but if they aren't sensitive themselves,
see yourself:then it was probably really hard for them
to attune to the complexities of what
see yourself:you needed, your depths,
see yourself:the specificity of being
a sensitive person.
see yourself:So many sensitive people do have this
see yourself:history of misattunement. And
so from a really young age,
see yourself:part of you probably wondered,
Is there something wrong with me?
see yourself:I didn't react to that like my sister
did. Is there something wrong with me?
see yourself:The way that I asked my parent
for that did not go over well.
see yourself:Is there something wrong with me? All
my friends could watch that movie,
see yourself:but for me, this gave me
nightmares for a month.
see yourself:Is there something wrong with
me? And there's this loop of,
see yourself:Is there something wrong with me,
see yourself:creates this constant loop
of stress in our body,
see yourself:this loop of chronic
stress, anxiety, depression,
see yourself:chronic pain. And so this question,
see yourself:or this sort of thorn that
we're looping around all the
see yourself:time, is the thing that I just want
to direct our hearts to right now,
see yourself:and say, in an unequivocal manner,
see yourself:that there is nothing wrong with you,
see yourself:that you carry a gift,
see yourself:a very profound gift for this collective.
see yourself:And in many ways,
see yourself:one of the biggest thing that is
standing in your way is just this thought
see yourself:that there is something wrong with you,
see yourself:when in reality there is nothing
wrong with you whatsoever.
see yourself:And this is a big part of the reason
why I'm so passionate about rebranding
see yourself:sensitives as Earth Angels,
see yourself:because you didn't just come
here to be a shrinking violet,
see yourself:to feel like you're fragile or defective.
see yourself:You came here with a
profound spiritual gift.
see yourself:And this gift is one that's
been downloaded into your body,
see yourself:into your nervous
system, into your psyche,
see yourself:and that is here to help you
expand and open into windows of
see yourself:possibility that maybe other
people can't even perceive.
see yourself:And I really believe that
sensitive people come in equipped
see yourself:for their mission in this world.
see yourself:There's nothing about you that
was created in any kind of
see yourself:misalignment. You came in
with your specific mission,
see yourself:and your specific nervous system, psyche,
see yourself:and setup in order to accomplish that
mission. And let's be real, right?
see yourself:This world is intense. And if
we're talking about charges,
see yourself:just the charge of arriving
here on this planet is a lot.
see yourself:And so however you wrap
your head around this,
see yourself:what I want you to know and
what I want you to come back to,
see yourself:is that your sensitivity
is not a result of your
see yourself:defectiveness. It's not
something that happened to you.
see yourself:It's not something that you can change.
see yourself:It's not something that is
a sign of maladaptation.
see yourself:Your sensitivity is a
gift. And in many ways,
see yourself:when sensitives experience
and heal from trauma,
see yourself:we're brought even deeper into that gift.
see yourself:Caroline Casey calls trauma our beautiful,
see yourself:dangerous assignment.
see yourself:And so there's also this layer in
which it actually doesn't matter.
see yourself:It doesn't matter for anyone
really to ask the question like,
see yourself:Is this innately me or is this my
see yourself:trauma? And this can be helpful when
we're starting to differentiate,
see yourself:and we're starting to
reclaim ourselves again.
see yourself:But at the end of the day when we
loop on this concept or idea that
see yourself:somehow if things would just be
different, I would be different,
see yourself:it takes us away from who we really
are and the fact that all these
see yourself:layers in our life make up
the tapestry of who we are.
see yourself:It's almost like asking yourself, Well,
see yourself:who would I be if I didn't
have age spots or wrinkles?
see yourself:It's erasing part of your identity,
see yourself:part of your selfhood,
see yourself:this incredible tapestry that you've
built in this lifetime of you.
see yourself:And so what love to direct your attention
towards instead is the incredible
see yourself:power of your resiliency,
see yourself:of the profound specialness
of the gifts that you carry,
see yourself:and this really acute
awareness and knowledge of the
see yourself:fact that your sensitivity
is a gift that was handed to
see yourself:you from the moment you were born.
see yourself:And it's a gift that is
meant to be cherished.
see yourself:So this next question comes from one
of our amazing listeners, Stephanie,
see yourself:who left me such an
incredible voice message.
see yourself:The message was so moving and the
way Stephanie phrased this question
see yourself:was so profound that I thought
I would just play the clip here.
see yourself:Hi Asia, my name is Stephanie.
see yourself:I just listened to your latest episode,
see yourself:your podcast on sensitive
people today. And oh my gosh,
see yourself:talk about being sensitive.
I'm like in tears over here.
see yourself:One of the things that I would
love to hear you talk about
see yourself:more is being in freeze
mode and maybe if that's a
see yourself:result of being a sensitive person
or a result of trauma because it
see yourself:is so overwhelming.
see yourself:So this is such a big question.
see yourself:How do we as sensitives
get out of overwhelm or
see yourself:freeze mode?
see yourself:A mode that frankly we probably
find ourselves in a lot because
see yourself:this world is overwhelming. Well,
see yourself:the first thing I want to say is
just orient you to the reality of
see yourself:freeze mode.
see yourself:Freeze is one of the survival
modes that we can go into.
see yourself:So there's fight, there's
flight, there's fawn,
see yourself:and then there's freeze.
see yourself:And I find fawn and freeze to be
the two places that sensitives just
see yourself:immediately go to.
see yourself:It's like we almost bypass fight or
flight and we go right to fawn or freeze.
see yourself:Fawning is the impetus,
see yourself:the trauma response of responding
by trying to appease someone else or
see yourself:look like you're appeasing someone
else in order to keep yourself safe,
see yourself:in order to reduce threat. So this
could show up like people pleasing-very,
see yourself:very common. Freeze is the
other most common response.
see yourself:And why I want to orient you to this
and just the profundity of the freeze
see yourself:response is this: when we
look at animals in nature...
see yourself:Look at an antelope
being chased by a lion.
see yourself:That antelope will first run,
and then if running doesn't work,
see yourself:maybe the antelope will
try to stand their ground.
see yourself:One of the last ditch efforts for that
antelope is going to be freeze mode.
see yourself:Freeze mode is when our bodies and
our nervous system thinks there is
see yourself:nothing else I can do to
escape death in this moment,
see yourself:except freeze and dissociate from my body.
see yourself:So this is how deep
the freeze response is.
see yourself:It is the last response
that we have to protect
see yourself:ourselves.
see yourself:And so having some compassion for
yourself around freeze response
see yourself:is really important.
see yourself:Your nervous system is responding
to this perceived threat or this
see yourself:overwhelm by going to
the last possible place.
see yourself:That's how big it feels
to your body right now.
see yourself:And it's hard when you're in freeze state.
see yourself:If part of your psyche is
thinking this is akin to death,
see yourself:it's a pretty big deal to
bridge out of that, right,
see yourself:to be present again when part of
your body thinks I might be dying.
see yourself:And I just want to say too that this is
a testament to the depth of sensitives,
see yourself:that we feel things so deeply
that that is the place that we
see yourself:go.
see yourself:And so don't let this be a place
of shame for yourself in any way,
see yourself:shape or form. If you are going
into freezer overwhelm mode,
see yourself:this is just a sign that your nervous
system needs support and needs
see yourself:even more gentle support in order to
feel safe enough to come back out.
see yourself:So here's the great thing:
see yourself:there is a ton of things you can
do at home before you even step
see yourself:foot out of the door to help yourself
move out of overwhelm or freeE
see yourself:state. So the first question I would ask
you if you're someone who experiences
see yourself:overwhelm or freeze states,
see yourself:is are you making your
sanctuary spaces like your home,
see yourself:true places of rest and
energy conservation?
see yourself:So when you're home, are you doing what
you need to do to block out the world,
see yourself:or are you home or in
whatever your safe space is,
see yourself:and you're still scrolling on social
media, you're still watching the news?
see yourself:This is really important because a
lot of times we think that we are
see yourself:engaging in shielding,
see yourself:in energy conservation practices,
see yourself:just by being home or being in our
rooms or being in our safe space.
see yourself:And yet there's still this onslaught of
see yourself:information that we're having to process.
see yourself:Are you having conversations with friends
on the phone late at night or in the
see yourself:middle of your sacred time, or simply
on a day where you're just not ready,
see yourself:willing, able, or resourced
to talk to somebody?
see yourself:These are all questions to ask yourself.
see yourself:In what ways can you make
your havens, like your home,
see yourself:true safe havens? And the most
important thing for sensitive people,
see yourself:especially those of us who
are in states of overwhelm,
see yourself:is reducing sensory input.
see yourself:So of course this is going to really
look like reducing any kind of outside
see yourself:information like the news,
like social media, like emails,
see yourself:like phone conversations or
texts-all the things that require our
see yourself:attention and require
our processing skills.
see yourself:And it can feel really hard to
set up boundaries in that way,
see yourself:but I encourage you to at least look
at it with curiosity and ask yourself,
see yourself:Am I really creating enough
of a safe haven in my space
see yourself:that I then have the even chance
to resource enough to go back out
see yourself:into the world?
see yourself:You might also want to think about
your literal sensory environment.
see yourself:Do you have soft enough sheets to lay on?
see yourself:Are you closing down
bright lights at night?
see yourself:Maybe you even need to close the blinds
during the day to have a little bit more
see yourself:of darkness and less visual
input during the day.
see yourself:These are all just things to ask yourself.
see yourself:And of course there's things
that are out of your control.
see yourself:If you're a parent like me,
see yourself:then there's going to be times
where your house is just loud.
see yourself:You can't control that.
see yourself:But what you could control is the
ability to put earplugs in or maybe even
see yourself:having-if your kid is
old enough-designated
quiet times where you are
see yourself:not trying to get stuff
done during that quiet time,
see yourself:but you're actually giving
yourself time to refill.
see yourself:So this is the first thing I would
mention is take an inventory of your safe
see yourself:haven time and space and ask yourself,
see yourself:are there other layers that I could be
putting in place where I really am more
see yourself:buffeted, protected,
see yourself:and held so that I can truly
decompress when I'm in those spaces?
see yourself:The next tactic is to think
about this idea of titration.
see yourself:So taking things in small little doses,
see yourself:small little steps. If
something is overwhelming you,
see yourself:like the idea of stepping
out into the world.
see yourself:In what way can you take
an even smaller step?
see yourself:So maybe it feels really overwhelming
to get in your car and drive
see yourself:to go meet a friend at the movies,
see yourself:but does it feel overwhelming
to step onto your porch?
see yourself:How about we start there-just step
onto the porch and see how that feels.
see yourself:Have that be your goal for
maybe 15 minutes this morning.
see yourself:Titration is a way in which we
get our nervous system feeling
see yourself:on board, feeling safe, feeling ready
for more energy and more bigness.
see yourself:And when you are a sensitive person,
see yourself:titration is the thing that is going
to open you back up to the depths
see yourself:that you're capable of. So you're
capable of so much as a sensitive person,
see yourself:and yet when we're in overwhelm,
see yourself:that's a sign that there's just
too much actually coming at us.
see yourself:There's too much we've
been trying to process.
see yourself:And so lessening the amount of too
much by titrating whatever it is
see yourself:that we're going to do.
see yourself:Like what's the smallest possible step
you could make towards this thing that
see yourself:you want to do that feels overwhelming?
Try to make it as small as possible,
see yourself:and don't do anything else. Then
that tiny little small step.
see yourself:And this will give your nervous
system, like working out,
see yourself:the capacity to get stronger and have
more capacity for what it is you want to
see yourself:do. Now,
see yourself:if even the tiniest teeniest
little step to you sounds scary,
see yourself:then here's a really
amazing thing you can do,
see yourself:from the comfort of your
own home, is imagine it.
see yourself:So our brains don't really
know the difference between
what we're imagining and
see yourself:what is actually happening.
see yourself:So if you are having feelings
of stress or overwhelm come up
see yourself:around something that you
really want to do in your life,
see yourself:that something that feels
too big, too overwhelming,
see yourself:or the moment you step out
into it, you start freezing.
see yourself:Use your imagination. You have a very
vivid imagination as a sensitive person.
see yourself:Use your imagination to imagine
yourself doing that thing.
see yourself:Maybe even imagine yourself taking
the tiniest teeniest little step,
see yourself:and imagine it going really well.
see yourself:Imagine you feeling really open
and expanded and peaceful in your
see yourself:system,
see yourself:maybe having something happen that
is just like serendipitous and
see yourself:magical the moment that you do
it. So the more you imagine that,
see yourself:the more you're preparing your brain
and your nervous system to actually feel
see yourself:okay when you do that thing.
see yourself:And if you want to go even deeper with
this, you can add in somatic tracking.
see yourself:So somatic tracking is a
practice, it's a technique,
see yourself:where you are turning your
awareness into your body and
see yourself:you are just becoming aware of whatever
it is that you're feeling with a lack
see yourself:of judgment. So in somatic tracking,
see yourself:you're often asked to gaze inwards.
see yourself:Notice what you're feeling,
where you're feeling it,
see yourself:and to use descriptive
words that describe its
see yourself:texture, its temperature, its location.
see yourself:So we're not looking
for, in somatic tracking,
see yourself:words like happy or sad,
see yourself:we're looking for furry
or smooth, big, small,
see yourself:circling, stagnant... really descriptive,
see yourself:tactile kind of words.
see yourself:So you can do somatic tracking when
you're visualizing something-especially if
see yourself:you visualize something and you do have
those feelings of anxiety come up-turn
see yourself:your awareness in. Where do you
feel this anxiety or stress?
see yourself:What's its temperature?
What's its texture?
see yourself:What's its girth or width?
Is it small? Is it big?
see yourself:You can use this when you're
visualizing something,
see yourself:or you can use it when you actually take
that step and you go into the world or
see yourself:you take that first little step
towards the thing that overwhelms you.
see yourself:And what's really cool about somatic
tracking is you're actually not trying to
see yourself:accomplish anything with
it. There's not an end goal.
see yourself:There's not something
you're striding towards.
see yourself:You're not even trying
to change the feeling,
see yourself:you're just tuning in and noticing.
see yourself:And what's really cool and witchy about
somatic tracking is that what it's doing
see yourself:is it's helping to
retrain your brain to see
see yourself:that what you're
experiencing isn't dangerous.
see yourself:So that even if you do have
anxiety or overwhelm come up,
see yourself:you start to notice it in your body,
you locate it, you describe it,
see yourself:and it's this really amazing thing
where when we stop having anxiety or
see yourself:stress around what we are experiencing,
see yourself:the experience itself starts to shift.
see yourself:So your only goal here with somatic
tracking is to turn your awareness
see yourself:inward without judgment and
without story and notice.
see yourself:And it's very cool how
the more you notice,
see yourself:the more it will shift.
see yourself:And here's the thing about sensitive
people is we tend to be pretty darn smart.
see yourself:And so we think we can just rationalize
our way out of this situation.
see yourself:If we just think about it long
enough, deep enough, hard enough,
see yourself:we'll figure it out.
see yourself:The problem is that the issue
isn't with our ability to
see yourself:perceive or think,
see yourself:the issues in our bodies and our nervous
systems and the way in which we don't
see yourself:feel safe.
see yourself:And so the more we just
turn that same brilliance to
see yourself:our own body, tracking our
body, tracking our sensations,
see yourself:just becoming aware of them, the more
those sensations will just start to shift.
see yourself:And your whole feeling around taking
that next step, will start to shift too.
see yourself:And the very last tool I want to mention
as you are moving out of freeze state
see yourself:or moving out of overwhelm is something
that might feel a little funny to you
see yourself:but actually really works incredibly well,
see yourself:and that is to mobilize in a safe place.
see yourself:So freeze comes up in our nervous system
when we think there's no possible way
see yourself:I can fight or flight my
way out of this anymore.
see yourself:And so how do we come
out of a freeze? Well,
see yourself:one of those ways is to mobilize,
is literally to move our bodies.
see yourself:So this could look like putting on
a song and dancing in the comfort of
see yourself:your own home. Maybe you
like full body shaking,
see yourself:so really shaking out your arms,
your hands, your legs, your hips.
see yourself:Another thing you could do is literally
imagine how you would want to move in
see yourself:that scenario. So in this case,
see yourself:how you might want to move when you leave
your house and walk out of the door,
see yourself:and imagine this in your mind.
see yourself:And then literally walk like you would
want to walk in your house in a place
see yourself:where you feel completely
safe. I have used this a lot,
see yourself:especially when I felt
like in an interaction with
someone I went into a freeze
see yourself:response, and that was really
hard for me to process later,
see yourself:or I had shame around it.
see yourself:There was a million things I wish
I had done or wish I had said.
see yourself:I will literally reenact
it-normally in a safe space,
see yourself:either in my home or when I'm
in a safe place in nature.
see yourself:And I'll move my body
the way I wanted to move,
see yourself:or maybe in a way that I never could
conceive of myself moving or don't think I
see yourself:would ever do, but would have wanted to.
see yourself:Like to punch someone or to push someone.
see yourself:And so this can be really cathartic and
it can be really helpful to move your
see yourself:body out of the free state in a place
where you feel really safe and really
see yourself:held. And with this,
see yourself:I want to give a really hardcore
shout out in this moment to all of the
see yourself:therapists out there, especially
the somatic therapists,
see yourself:who are doing this work
with their clients.
see yourself:And if this is something that
you want to explore more,
see yourself:if you're like, okay, I...
see yourself:this is all really resonating and I
want to be really held while I do it,
see yourself:definitely go find yourself a therapist
who practices somatic experiencing or
see yourself:some sort of somatic way of
relating or being in therapeutics.
see yourself:I have found through the many years that
I've been in therapy and have worked in
see yourself:therapeutic settings,
see yourself:that this somatic layer is so
important for sensitive people.
see yourself:And it can take some time to
actually get in touch with,
see yourself:to get to the bottom of, to feel
safe enough to connect with.
see yourself:But having someone there who's
specialized in this can really,
see yourself:really help you to drop in,
feel safe, start mobilizing,
see yourself:and get yourself out of
freeze and overwhelm.
see yourself:The third question that came in is one
that I think a lot of sensitives ask
see yourself:themselves out there-I know it's something
I think about a lot-and so I think
see yourself:this might resonate with a lot
of you. And this is the question:
see yourself:How do I discern between my feelings
and somebody else's feelings?
see yourself:As sensitives,
see yourself:we will feel other people's feelings.
see yourself:We literally have more
mirror neurons in our brain,
see yourself:neurons that are responsible for our
ability to understand and empathize with
see yourself:other people.
see yourself:We have more of these mirror neurons
in our brain than somebody who isn't
see yourself:sensitive has.
see yourself:And so you are more susceptible to,
see yourself:sensitive to, other people's
feelings. This is just a fact of life.
see yourself:You are going to notice that you're going
to feel that more than other people.
see yourself:When this question comes
up for me, however,
see yourself:I often notice that it's because I'm in
an under-resourced place to begin with.
see yourself:So if I am going down that path of
asking, Is this mine, is it not?
see yourself:It's probably because I'm not
already full of my own resources and
see yourself:being, in that moment.
And so if that's the case,
see yourself:if you're having this question
come up for you hardcore,
see yourself:I want you to ask yourself, How
could I resource myself more?
see yourself:What do I need in order to feel
centered in myself, to feel resourced,
see yourself:to feel held?
see yourself:So let's take that awareness
in as we examine some deeper
see yourself:levels in this question. Now,
see yourself:I do think there's ways to
recognize on a somatic level if
see yourself:something is not "yours."
And I think some of this
see yourself:comes with time and time spent tracking
yourself and understanding your own
see yourself:body. So I have certain signals in
my own body that to me signal like,
see yourself:"something invasive," "something coming
from the outside." So these signals will
see yourself:come in when I get sick with something.
see yourself:I first started noticing these specific
signals when I contracted Lyme disease,
see yourself:but I'll also notice it come up now if
I'm picking up energies that are not
see yourself:necessarily mine and that don't really
have any business being inside my body.
see yourself:So some of those signals for me will
be that my heart often feels like it's
see yourself:racing. I'll feel like the tightness
of my pericardium around my heart.
see yourself:I often will get sort of sweaty hands
and feet and they'll get a little bit
see yourself:cold; like my temperature will drop.
see yourself:Another sign of invasion for me is often
that I have a lot of meta feelings.
see yourself:Meta feelings are feelings
about my feelings.
see yourself:So if I'm feeling really stressed and
then I have a lot of stress about that
see yourself:stress,
see yourself:I might want to examine is this mine or
am I picking up someone else's stress?
see yourself:Or if I'm feeling anger
and I'm feeling a lot of
see yourself:overwhelm about that anger or a
lot of sadness about that anger,
see yourself:this is another thing to examine.
So this is just one little example.
see yourself:You can definitely have meta feelings
about your feelings and have them be your
see yourself:feelings. But this could also be
something that could orient you to,
see yourself:Do I need to unpack this in a huge
way or is this somebody else's?
see yourself:So these are some things
that I noticed for myself,
see yourself:but everybody's going to be
really different with their own
see yourself:signs of otherness,
like tracking otherness.
see yourself:And I mention this at the same
time that I really want to say
see yourself:that your ability to recognize
what is you and what is not you
see yourself:is important, but at the end of the day,
see yourself:we live in a world in which
everything is in relationship all the
see yourself:time. So we don't ask ourselves,
see yourself:Where did this joy come from?
see yourself:Say you're outside on a beautiful spring
day on a hillside covered with cherry
see yourself:blossoms. You're not asking yourself,
Where did this joy come from?
see yourself:We really only ask ourselves that
question when it's hard feelings.
see yourself:But we are beings in constant
relationship with the world
see yourself:around us. On the level
of quantum physics,
see yourself:we're constantly exchanging
energy fields. This question of,
see yourself:"What is mine and what is yours?"
is actually really hard to answer.
see yourself:The smaller and smaller
you get, the more you...
see yourself:the deeper you look into reality.
see yourself:And so there's this level in
which we will always be picking up
see yourself:on other people's experiences,
other people's feelings.
see yourself:We're going to pick up on
the feelings of a tree.
see yourself:We're going to touch into
the mood of a landscape.
see yourself:What becomes more important here
is what happens next. And yes,
see yourself:it's true that as a sensitive person you
will feel this more than perhaps other
see yourself:people will,
see yourself:that you will be more open to picking
up on feelings and sensations in the
see yourself:environment around you.
But what happens then?
see yourself:It's what we do with it actually
that's much more important.
see yourself:So what you're feeling might
have been somebody else's,
see yourself:but if you are feeling it
now inside of yourself,
see yourself:it's now your feeling.
see yourself:And this doesn't mean that you need
to go through huge process here of
see yourself:reckoning or accountability;
see yourself:it's just that now it's a feeling
that exists inside your body,
see yourself:and so you have the ability to
process and release that feeling.
see yourself:When we constantly ask ourselves,
is this mine or someone else's?
see yourself:What's often happening there is that
we're resisting what we're feeling.
see yourself:And it's not an invalid question to ask.
see yourself:It's helpful sometimes to
really be aware of, Wow,
see yourself:actually I don't think that was mine.
I do think that was someone else's.
see yourself:But the fact remains that now
that feeling is inside of you now,
see yourself:that feeling does exist in your
system. And what do you do about that?
see yourself:So instead of continuing to ask, How do
I get rid of this because it's not mine,
see yourself:ask yourself, How can I
feel it and transform it,
see yourself:because I don't need to hold
it? This is how you do this.
see yourself:You just feel what you're
feeling: identify it,
see yourself:maybe find a word for it.
Sometimes it can feel complex,
see yourself:and that complexity itself
can feel overwhelming, like
we want to push it away.
see yourself:So really take a deep belly
breath and ask yourself,
see yourself:What is this that I'm feeling
drop into somatic tracking?
see yourself:Where are you feeling it in your
body? What does it look like?
see yourself:What does it feel like? What does its
temperature? How big or how small is it?
see yourself:When we turn our attention
then to what we are feeling,
see yourself:because this feeling now exists inside
of us, regardless of where it came from,
see yourself:we then can watch it transform. And what
I've found is that when it's not mine,
see yourself:often it will transform much
quicker. I will breathe into it,
see yourself:I will feel into it. I'll track it.
see yourself:I'll ask for a guide to come
in and help me transform it.
see yourself:I'll visualize it transforming inside
of my body. And when I do that,
see yourself:then it just dissolves. And this is
the cool thing about this, right?
see yourself:Not only are you then transforming
the feeling that's inside of your
see yourself:body,
see yourself:but you're metabolizing a piece of
pollen that came in on the wind.
see yourself:And then just letting it go.
see yourself:And so not only are you
doing this work for yourself,
see yourself:you're doing this work for the
collective too. And it's pretty cool.
see yourself:And I promise you that it will
transform so much faster this
see yourself:way, than if you keep resisting
it by asking yourself,
see yourself:Is this someone else's or is this mine?
see yourself:Drop the question as much as you
can, feel what you're feeling,
see yourself:and watch it transform.
see yourself:This fourth question is one that is so
dear to my heart because it's such a real
see yourself:part of the reality of
being a sensitive person.
see yourself:And so here is this question that
a lot of different people asked in
see yourself:different iterations, and it's this:
see yourself:Why as a sensitive can
relationships feel so
see yourself:hard or draining? This is one of these
paradoxes of being a sensitive person,
see yourself:that we're both incredibly
good at relationships,
see yourself:and it's also like our Achilles heel.
see yourself:The thing that feels the
hardest are relationships,
see yourself:and there's reasons for this.
see yourself:So when I polled the sensitives my
audience and asked them about a year ago,
see yourself:what was one of the most challenging
things about being a sensitive,
see yourself:this relationship with the other was the
number one most challenging thing that
see yourself:came up for people. As sensitives, we
are constantly tracking our environment,
see yourself:which means we're constantly tracking
the person that we're with, their energy,
see yourself:their mood, their feelings, what they're
going through. This is beautiful,
see yourself:right? This means that we can be
really attuned friends and partners and
see yourself:lovers,
see yourself:but it can also be really
draining and exhausting.
see yourself:Because of this: as sensitives,
see yourself:we have the tendency to
over-attune to others and
see yourself:under attune to our own selves.
see yourself:So we are constantly tracking and taking
in all this sensory detail about the
see yourself:person that we're with, the
relationship that's unfolding here,
see yourself:in a way where we come up and out of our
own selves and we're not attuning to or
see yourself:tracking our own selves
anymore. This is tiring.
see yourself:If we're not connected to
or attuned to our own self,
see yourself:we're not sitting at
the seat of our power,
see yourself:we're not sitting with and
enjoying our own energy;
see yourself:we're constantly turning
the attention outwards.
see yourself:And if you have the attention
outwards for too long,
see yourself:it can start to drain your batteries.
see yourself:So even when you have a relationship with
someone that you absolutely adore and
see yourself:love, this can still come up,
see yourself:that the relationship can feel draining
or exhausting or it's taking a lot out
see yourself:of you and you need time to
retreat and take care of yourself.
see yourself:I remember I used to think to myself that
I was really good at relationships and
see yourself:I realized that I thought I was
good at relationships because
see yourself:people in relationships with me tended
to be happy about being in a relationship
see yourself:with me, that I was a really good
friend, I really showed up for people,
see yourself:that I was a really good lover
or a really good partner.
see yourself:But at some point I realized that I
actually wasn't good at relationships
see yourself:because while I was really good at
making that other person feel good,
see yourself:I wasn't so good at taking care of
myself and making sure that I felt good
see yourself:inside of the relationship. And this
was so common for sensitive people.
see yourself:We become hyperfocused on making sure
somebody else feels good that we don't
see yourself:even pay attention to whether or
not we feel good in this situation,
see yourself:whether or not we feel good with that
decision, or inside of this relationship.
see yourself:And so one thing that can be really
helpful to have relationships be less
see yourself:draining is to learn how
to turn your tracker,
see yourself:so you're not just
tracking that other person.
see yourself:One of the things that I found to be
really helpful for sensitive people is to
see yourself:learn how to track, in the real
world, in the living world,
see yourself:in the natural world.
see yourself:I think this is a big reason why
sensitive people get really excited about
see yourself:things like birding or plant
identification or literal
see yourself:tracking is because it uses
our ability to be attuned to
see yourself:subtlety and it focuses it outwards.
see yourself:It focuses it on the
environment around us on nature,
see yourself:in this place where our nervous
system is naturally regulated and
see yourself:at ease. We have this
ability as sensitive people,
see yourself:so I encourage you to have other
things that you're tracking
see yourself:besides just the humans in your
life-this will be really helpful for you,
see yourself:really regulatory-and of course to
learn how to track your own self.
see yourself:The more you learn how to track yourself,
see yourself:the more you can be responsive to when
your body and when your system is saying,
see yourself:This is too much for
me, or I need a break.
see yourself:And it might feel hard
at first to express that.
see yourself:The more you practice attuning
to yourself and being able to
see yourself:express your boundaries, wants,
needs and desires from that place,
see yourself:the easier it becomes, and the richer
your relationships will become.
see yourself:Of course, within the recognition
of relationships being draining,
see yourself:we do need to ask ourselves like, Is
this the right relationship for me?
see yourself:Is this configuration the
right configuration? Is this
person the right person?
see yourself:All those questions are super valid,
see yourself:and they're all things that are
important for you to look at.
see yourself:And the more you learn
how to turn your tracker
see yourself:inwards to really acknowledge
your own energy system,
see yourself:your own needs and desires,
see yourself:the easier and easier it will be to
answer those questions and to start really
see yourself:cultivating relationships in
your life that fulfill you.
see yourself:And the last question, this
question is so dear to my heart.
see yourself:It's so important, it's so real.
And this question goes like this:
see yourself:I feel so amazing, so centered,
everything's flowing really well,
see yourself:and then it seems to
shift. And then it's like,
see yourself:I have this terrible day, I have
this bad day, and it all goes to pot.
see yourself:How do I stay centered and
connected in a inherently
see yourself:chaotic world? I feel this so strongly.
see yourself:It's so real, right? You can have these
amazing days where you're like, Oh,
see yourself:I've really figured some stuff out
now. This is where I'm going to stay.
see yourself:I'm not going to leave this place.
I know myself. I know what I need.
see yourself:Here you go. And then,
see yourself:you wake up one morning and it's like
the storm clouds have rolled in and your
see yourself:mind immediately goes to, What did I
do wrong? Why is this happening again?
see yourself:How do I get back to where I was?
see yourself:The first thing I want to say
here is just to let go of the
see yourself:anxiety around this
feeling of disconnection.
see yourself:The feeling of disconnection,
discombobulation, depression,
see yourself:that's hard enough,
see yourself:but at least let go of some of the
stress and pressure you're holding for
see yourself:yourself around, I need to get
back to that centered place.
see yourself:Here's the reality:
Life has many textures.
see yourself:Life is going to have hard days,
days where you feel disconnected.
see yourself:You didn't do anything
wrong. You did nothing wrong.
see yourself:In reality, in fact,
see yourself:you're here living your life,
see yourself:and this is part of the
experience of being alive.
see yourself:Every time we go through moments of
being disconnected or feeling off center,
see yourself:this is part of us gathering information:
see yourself:about what we need, about how to release,
see yourself:about how to be here and be human.
see yourself:Circling back to this idea of
meta feelings, as much as you can,
see yourself:let go of the meta feelings about
your feelings. If you're sad,
see yourself:you don't have to feel sad about being
sad; just feel sad. If you're worried,
see yourself:don't feel worried about being
worried; you're just worried.
see yourself:Feel the feelings in their primary
state. Let go, if you can in any way,
see yourself:shape or form, the meta feelings about it,
see yourself:these meta feelings that were sensitives
so often lead us back to shame.
see yourself:Shame of like, I thought
I had it all figured out.
see yourself:I gave so-and-so advice the other
day, and now here I am. What?
see yourself:I'm back in this place;
see yourself:who am I to be going about this world
thinking I have anything figured out?
see yourself:I feel so bad about myself and the
fact that I'm back here in this place.
see yourself:Your whole goal during these moments of
time when you do feel disconnected is to
see yourself:let go of that shame,
see yourself:to know that this is part
of the human journey.
see yourself:This is part of what you signed up for.
see yourself:Absolutely nobody on this planet is
going to feel connected every single day,
see yourself:unless they're an ascended master. And
those are very few and far between.
see yourself:So when you have off days,
just say yourself, This is
part of the human journey.
see yourself:This is part of the human experience.
see yourself:I'm supposed to be experiencing
this too. And in fact,
see yourself:when I get through this, the other
side will be that much richer.
see yourself:My ability to connect to
myself, to connect to my guides,
see yourself:to connect to this wider wisdom will be
even richer for having said Yes to just
see yourself:being on the human journey. And while
you're in the state to ask yourself,
see yourself:what do you need in order to come home?
see yourself:What are the things that help you
feel cozy, held and resourced?
see yourself:And we're not looking for these things
to completely solve or take away the
see yourself:pain;
see yourself:we're just looking for them to give us
a solid foundation so that we can get
see yourself:through this time. So what
are those things for you?
see yourself:What are the things that help you
feel really resourced in life?
see yourself:And what are the ways in which you could
work those into your day while you're
see yourself:moving through this time? And yes,
see yourself:there are ways to be more centered,
more of the time. Absolutely.
see yourself:This is what expanding
our capacity is about.
see yourself:This is exactly why I am
teaching Earth Angel School,
see yourself:so that your center of
gravity expands that much
see yourself:more. Because that's really what it is,
right? When we come home to ourselves,
see yourself:when we understand ourselves, when we
know how to be our authentic selves,
see yourself:when we understand our gifts,
see yourself:when we're connected to the
source that is here to animate us,
see yourself:here to support us, this center of
ourselves, this gravity of ourselves,
see yourself:gets bigger-and so less
and less can knock us
see yourself:off our center. We're still
human. Things still will.
see yourself:But the more you can build out this
center of who you are by understanding
see yourself:and attuning to your own self
and your own divine abilities,
see yourself:the more this center of
self is going to expand,
see yourself:and the less easy it will be for you
to topple over. At the end of the day,
see yourself:us sensitives, us earth angels,
see yourself:we came here to this
planet because we have a
see yourself:special interest in humanity, because
we're fascinated by the human journey.
see yourself:We want to experience all the layers.
see yourself:Earth Angels are here for
it. They know how to meet it.
see yourself:They know how to be with it.
see yourself:And earth angels see everything as
an opportunity to grow. Everything,
see yourself:even this hard time,
see yourself:is an opportunity for you to
connect more deeply with your soul,
see yourself:for you to grow.
see yourself:So if you are getting to the end of
these questions and you're saying, yes,
see yourself:all of this is for me. I am not just
a sensitive, I am an Earth Angel.
see yourself:I'm really ready to understand
who I am, why I am here,
see yourself:to work with the magic
of my nervous system,
see yourself:to really step into the potential
that I have in this lifetime,
see yourself:to expand my center so I can walk into
this world with not only the knowledge of
see yourself:my gifts,
see yourself:but the gravity and the self-assurance
to really make them possible,
see yourself:then I would love to see
you in earth angel school.
see yourself:The early bird pricing for that
ends on Monday, April 14th.
see yourself:So if you're interested, definitely
check that out before that ends.
see yourself:We start on April 23rd. And if you're
listening to this and you're like,
see yourself:tell me more about Earth angels,
see yourself:tell me more so that I know that
even though I'm a sensitive,
see yourself:I am also an Earth Angel,
see yourself:then definitely stay tuned for
next week's podcast episode,
see yourself:because in that episode I'm going to
talk all about entering your earth angel
see yourself:era-a guide for all my fellow
sensitives out there for you to step
see yourself:into your earth angel era,
see yourself:and what that actually means for
your ability to be in your power,
see yourself:to have clarity, and to
come home to yourself.
see yourself:So thank you so much for being here,
and as you explore your sensitivity,
see yourself:the uniqueness of the
things that make you,
see yourself:may it bring you even closer to
the most important thing of all:
see yourself:remembering why you are here.
