In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with guest Jen Vertanen to unpack the raw story of calling off a divorce at the 11th hour. Jen shares what led her to the breaking point in her second marriage, the self-discoveries that followed, and how she spent the next decade rebuilding her sense of self from the inside out. Their conversation covers the complexities of adult relationships, healing childhood wounds, and finding joy and authenticity in midlife.
About the Guest:
Jen Vertanen is a coach, speaker, and founder of We The Unruly. Jen Vertanen is an expert guide for impatiently restless folks who are tired of waiting for 'someday'.Drawing from her own journey of transformation, Jen helps mission-driven people rediscover their spark, vision their future selves, and create lives filled with adventure, meaning, and joy.
Main Topics Covered:
- Navigating loneliness, resentment, and self-blame in marriage
- The decision and process of calling off a divorce (and telling the kids)
- Breaking cycles of trauma and learning self-compassion
- Rebuilding identity after crisis: kindness, autonomy, and becoming “the sparkly human” you want to be
- The realities vs. narratives about marriage, happiness, and self-fulfillment
- Approaching partnership repair and growth as a team
- Jen’s coaching work and unruly community
Quote from the Episode:
"My heart finally started talking louder than my ego... and it was like, you don't want this, you don't want this, you're making a huge mistake."
Timestamps:
- 00:00:06 – Introductions, Jen’s self-care ritual, and discussing the fun of reading smut
- 00:03:44 – Setting the scene: Jen’s backstory, blended family, and her first marriage
- 00:06:16 – What led Jen to consider divorce: childhood, resentment, and craving autonomy
- 00:15:53 – The “dark night of the soul”: telling her daughter, sleeplessness, and calling off the divorce
- 00:24:22 – The decade of rebuilding: self-mothering, trying kindness, and conscious reinvention
- 00:31:42 – Repairing a relationship: shared effort, conflict styles, and couples counseling
- 00:35:28 – Jen’s work with We The Unruly and her offer for listeners
- 00:37:52 – Rapid fire questions: favorite color, first job, and dream destinations
Connect with Jen Vertanen:
Website: WeTheUnruly.com
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/we.the.unruly/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@we.the.unruly
Special offer for the audience:FREE 30-minute “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way” call: wetheunruly.com/30-min-coaching
Never Miss a Moment of Imperfect Adulting
We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.
Why subscribe?
- Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast app
- Get guest offers delivered straight to your inbox
- Access all important links in one convenient place
- Catch the highlights even when you don't have time to listen
Are you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com
If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/support
Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)
For livestreaming and recording ECamm
Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM
Website hosting with Siteground
Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic
For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv before that I used Kit.
Online Shopping Cart: ThriveCart
Networking and support with Entreprenista League
Connection with Polka Dot Powerhouse
Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org
Grab a $20 coupon for Nutrafol here
Do you need a bank account? Ally
If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Click here and pitch yourself.
