10 3

Empowered by Love: Healing through Self-Compassion

Show Notes

• Opening Song: “You Matter”
• Guest intro: Rashi Nayar — serial entrepreneur turned self‑love coach
• The first loss: the death of her dog and its ripple effect
• 18 years of depression, numbness, lack of inner connection
• Turning point in 2025: aunt’s passing, spiritual pause, inward work
• The daily practice: “I love you, I love you, even if I don’t feel it”
• Applying self‑love in business & sales
• Sales as an act of love, going beyond fear
• Tools: mirror work, affirmations, meditation, inversion of identity
• Tips: gratitude practice, flow, guest‑house metaphor

Trigger warning: depression, suicidal ideation, loss

What happens when you win everything the world says matters — but feel empty inside?

In this episode, Elaine sits with Rashi Nayar, a former high‑flying entrepreneur who, behind closed doors, was slowly dying from disconnection. For 18 years, she lived through depression, numbness, and a relentless sense of not being enough. In 2025, after a profound loss, she finally stopped everything. What she discovered in the silence was a practice so simple it felt fake at first — repeating “I love you” to herself — that ultimately dissolved the darkness.

We talk loss, grief, motherhood, spiritual awakenings, and how she now helps others lead from love—even in sales calls. This episode is a radical invitation: what if your redemption doesn’t come from achieving more but from loving deeper?

Bio

Rashi Nayar is a serial entrepreneur turned spiritual mentor devoted to self-realization and finding unconditional love within. She helps people discover their true self, anchor in unconditional love, and become unshakable from within. After scaling multiple businesses to multi-millions, she realized that external success alone could not give her the freedom she longed for.

A series of life-shaking events — from the loss of loved ones to a heart-opening at a Krishna Das chant concert, to meeting her inner guru Neem Karoli Baba — set her on a path of deep self-inquiry, asking the ultimate questions: Who am I and why am I here?

Today, as a mom of two and a teacher (and student) of unconditional love, Rashi shares that freedom is not found in money or titles, but in remembering who we really are — LOVE. Her mission is to raise collective consciousness by guiding people back to their essence: love.

Links & Socials

• Resources: Rashi’s free app (guide to re‑rooting in self)

Connect with Rashi (website, app, social)

Website

Facebook

LinkedIn

Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All website

©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.

https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/empowered-by-love-healing-through-self-compassion

Elaine Lindsay

Explicit

When moving forward seems too much.

2

When you feel totally out of touch,

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out the door, you find yourself.

4

Curled on the floor.

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The thoughts swirl around

all jumbled and messed.

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Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?

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I have secrets I've never confessed.

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Haven't told the soul,

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I'm depressed.

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A gentle whisper through the pain remember

rainbows follow rain breathe deeply.

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Hold on tight.

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Your hope will return shining

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bright..

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Embrace the now, release the past,

In forgiveness, peace will last.

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You matter deeply, you're not alone.

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Reach out, let your strengths be shown.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Hello there.

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I'm so happy to be back with you today.

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It's Elaine Lindsay of Suicide

Zen Forgiveness, and today we

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are here with my guest, Rashi.

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It's this will be one of those

where I get to learn along with you.

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Rashi, thank you so much for joining us.

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Thank you

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Rashi Nayar: so much

for having me, Elaine.

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It's a pleasure to be here.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I it's lovely

and it's also lovely to find out that

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Rashi, she's not all that far from me.

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Just a couple of hours.

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Yes.

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I always enjoy when I get to find

out where my guests are because it's

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amazing how many people are really

close to us that we may not know.

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And learning and meeting new

people for me is something

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that I find really interesting.

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I really enjoy finding out all kinds

of things about people, but as the

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audience here knows, we like to learn

about stories and about people's lives.

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So we're gonna start first learning

a little bit about who you are

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now and what it is that you do.

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Rashi Nayar: Sure.

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And Elaine, I'm a serial

entrepreneur for the last 11 years.

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I've made companies over seven figures.

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But quietly inside I was living a very

desperate life, and I wasn't really happy.

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Okay.

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I was not connected with my soul.

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And we talk about it as

we go, how it all started.

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But to give you a short intro,

is these days I am a coach.

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And some people call

me the self-love coach.

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Some people call me the healer, whatever.

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And some people call me the

sales coach because sales also.

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So I have different clients, but

ultimately what I do is connect

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them back to who they are.

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Help them connect back to love

and, lead their lives every single

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moment from that space of love.

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Love, yes.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

That's absolutely beautiful.

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And it's interesting to me because

most people may not think of sales

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and sales coaching and marketing

and what have you in terms of love,

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but

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when you bring love to the table,

whether you're marketing or selling or

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prepping content, it's always better when

you can add a little love to the mix.

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Rashi Nayar: Yes, indeed.

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Indeed,

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: yes.

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So on that note, let's talk about how

you could be, seven times being very

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successful, and yet I understand not

being connected to your soul, but

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let's walk through that with you.

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Rashi Nayar: Sure.

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Thank you.

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So it really just started

with a loss in the family.

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So in 2007 I lost my dog and

for some people, dogs are just

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dogs, but for me, family members.

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Yeah.

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And I know you have dogs,

Elaine, so you'll get it.

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And left me unconditionally,

without me being.

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Having to perform or having to be

someone else other than myself, right?

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I could just be, and he would be there.

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I could mess up and he was there.

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And back then I was in India

and I, in India we have very

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busy, it's very busy roads.

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And my house happened to be on the

road and he somehow, his leash got

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stuck in a car and he was only two.

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And he died.

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And he pretty much died in my arms.

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And before that I was

just going with life.

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Nothing spectacular was really happening.

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I was, but that was the first time

I had, I experienced loss, that

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profoundly and that deeply, and

that led me to a long 18-year-old,

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18 year journey of depression.

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Numbness and feeling very lost, basically.

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That was it.

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That was the first moment.

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And it really, the longing

was to return home to him.

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Him meaning unconditional, right?

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For me, love was him.

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So I related to love in that way.

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But the longing was for the soul

to return home to itself through

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Uncondition, and that's who we hurt.

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But I didn't know when.

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Then, I was longing and looking

outwards and that led me to enter

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toxic relationships and whatnot

and, looking for love in businesses.

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I scale businesses with seven figures

plus, and apparently I was I see myself

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as successful on paper, but including I

was living with this low grade anxiety.

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It's all, it's always there.

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Like it's like not feeling good

enough, like not feeling good

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enough, like it is always there.

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And then another loss happened

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and we, and I, she she passed

away and for three days she

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was in my head after her death.

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She kept saying to me,

Rahi, love yourself.

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Stop.

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Love yourself.

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And it kept going in my head

and I just stopped everything.

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I blocked my calendar and I went inwards.

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So I sat in silence and I'm

a mom of two in silence.

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Now,

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stop picking any new

clients, anything of that.

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Completely stopped for two months.

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What I was just doing was cooking,

cleaning, household duties,

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just looking after the kids.

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But I really went inwards,

which means day and night.

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I was just in meditation and

just sitting with myself.

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But all I kept doing

was, I love you, Rashi.

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I love you Rashi.

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I love you, Rashi.

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That's what I keep repeating.

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And what after That was two

months of doing that, Elaine.

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I was born again.

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I found myself, it was like I poured

so much love on myself that I was, it

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felt invincible, it's like I didn't

need anything else to complete me.

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I was so completely, and Wow.

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From that place, I just started,

reaching out to people and, going

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on podcasts and just talking

about now and how important it is.

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To love yourself.

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So important.

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And not just to, sometimes

we think we love ourselves.

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We are under an illusion

that we love ourselves.

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If you bother me back, then of

course I love myself, but really

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we don't because we keep we don't

love, we just keep judging ourselves.

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Your biggest, we're not right.

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You should be doing better.

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Go to that narrative.

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I was raised by a dad.

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My father is perfection father.

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Either I, and he loves me.

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We love each other so much, and

now he's a different person.

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But growing up in the house household,

like there was a lot that was expected

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from me being the oldest child.

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So I suppose like of those events.

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And I was very depressed

for a very long time.

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Many years.

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I felt like I was in that

dark night of the soul.

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I.

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And obviously this podcast, so

when I was with my first one, I.

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I wanna take my life, and that

was because the hormones and the

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depression like came together.

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Oh yeah.

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In the first trimester, and I

was like, okay, I'm going and

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I'm taking, I'm going with it.

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That was and my friend and my

husband talked me out of that.

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And even my in-laws and they

talked me out of that place.

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But then last year when I was pregnant

again and the hormone again, and I was

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like, oh, I was so depressed again.

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And then, the whole same thoughts and

I was just, I would just lock myself in

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a room and I believe it's the numbness,

like not feeling any emotion whatsoever.

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It's not feeling we wanna feel.

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Yeah.

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So in a short I suppose in a short

snippet of what I've shared with you.

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And we can talk about it like what

happened in between those years.

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I had my, some openings,

I had some awakenings.

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I went to spiritual retreats,

concerts, chanting concerts.

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I sat down with mystics and

sages and we can talk about that.

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And I, had some really

intense experiences, but

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nothing was really permanent.

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I would always spiral down, yeah,

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: something

really important that you just said.

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It's like you did all these

things and nothing resonated.

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Like that For our audience,

that is so incredibly important

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because the fact is we don't all

resonate with the same things.

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What helped you?

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It might help me, it might not.

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It I may need something totally different.

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And we have to give ourself the grace

to try different things to not put up

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those walls when we are in a place that

we can reach out or people can reach us.

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It's trying to remember to be

open to what comes, 'cause I think

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it's so incredibly important.

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Okay.

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You started off with the

most important piece.

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Many of us, in all honesty,

are still missing, and that's

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about loving ourselves.

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That can be the hardest piece, and I

totally understand where you're coming

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from about, it doesn't matter what

you achieve, it doesn't matter how

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great everything looks on the outside

and how successful you are being

192

when there is an empty pit inside.

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That just continues to

grow until it swallows you.

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Yes.

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And like you I had a father

who he just wanted me to do.

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I was the oldest child now there was only

two of us and five years between us, but.

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No, as a child my, I would come home

with a hundred percent from school.

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I was a good student and my father

would be like, oh, could you not

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have just done a wee bit more?

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It's no, father, that is not possible.

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And it's it's just how life is.

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We want more for our children.

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That's generational.

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We're not the first ones to feel that way.

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No.

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Like we wanted it, they wanted

it, their parents wanted it.

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People have always wanted to do more,

give more, be more for their children.

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That's how the human race

continues to go forward.

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Yes.

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We do have a choice and.

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In having that choice, we

are not like the animals.

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We make the decision to, to, further

our young to sacrifice for our young to,

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like you said you locked yourself away

for two months, but you were still doing

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what you needed to do for the children.

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Yes, because that is a bond that is a,

I can't think of the word I want, but

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we choose to be the nurturer for our

children when we choose to have children

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and that, that are, those are sacred

covenants we take on as moms and dads.

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And I think it's really incredible

and some, something you touched on.

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We, we were all, we all come

from different backgrounds.

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We are different religions.

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We live in different areas of the world.

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We have different customs.

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These truths are the same.

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I don't care where you are.

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Who brought you up?

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How many mystics you saw or gurus?

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I went for a long time to Art

of Living, which Shankar I, I

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know all about the breathing and

all of that and have done, yeah.

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All kinds of meditation.

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And he's a lovely man.

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I absolutely love him.

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But all of that.

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It.

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It doesn't really matter

where you come from.

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The key thing that people have to

understand, depression is a beast that

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shows the same face to every one of

us, and it has the same intention.

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Whether you came from Lapland or Australia

or India, or in my case, Scotland.

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It.

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It is the same beast.

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It wants the same thing.

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It has no regard for us and

its main aim is to take over.

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So I think that's a really important

piece for people to understand because

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every single one of us, when we were deep

inside, we think we are the only one.

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That's ever gone through

this, we're the only one.

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And very often our thoughts on

taking ourselves out of this

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situation has nothing to do with us.

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It does.

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It's very often about ending pain,

but it's very often about making

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it better for those around us.

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And that is so wrong.

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That is the beast.

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It is not us because no one

ever who has left us, left

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people that were not devastated.

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For every person who leaves us, there

are 135 people affected on average.

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That is huge.

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And I think it's wonderful

that you're here today.

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'cause I think that's really important.

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We are at a very difficult

time in the world.

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There is so much fear and

mistrust and unrest that.

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More and more people are, the beast is

taking on more people because it can't,

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because it feeds on fear, it feeds on

anxiety, it feeds on imposter syndrome.

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And when you are in that pit,

very often after loss and I would

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never say dog, cat, bird, lizard.

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Whatever your pet is, that

unconditional love, it's pure.

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It's totally, it's the purest

thing you will ever get.

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And that is so hard to lose.

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It's like when we lose another human

and even our pets, a lot of our grief.

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It's not about them, it's

about being left behind.

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Yeah.

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And I know that sounds really selfish

and sadly in a way it is but you nailed

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it because you said, we are looking for

that unconditional love we're looking for.

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There's gotta be more of it.

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If pets can give it to

us, there has to be more.

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Rashi Nayar: Yeah.

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Yes, exactly.

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And actually what I discovered was

that it's within us, it's within us.

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So when I conceived my first daughter,

I felt that unconditional love again.

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As a mother, right?

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As a mother, but I still didn't get it.

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I thought it was girls coming from

her 'cause she loved me so much.

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Yeah.

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And even when I gave birth to

my second daughter, it's, babies

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love their mom, like their mother.

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Oh yeah.

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Unconditionally.

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And I still didn't get it.

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I thought it's and I started

having fears as a mother, what

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if something happens to them?

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All of that.

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Recognize those thoughts with

the hormone shift and everything.

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And when my aunt passed away, it was,

she kept telling me, it's like she was

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communicating to me from beyond Rashi.

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She Stop.

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Rashi, love yourself, Rashi.

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Stop.

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Rashi, love yourself.

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And to be honest, I even though I.

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Accomplished a seven figure mark,

which most people wanna get to right.

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In their life.

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Yeah.

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I was still not content, I was

still phasing after money, I was

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still achieved, I was stuck in that

cycle of chasing more and more.

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The milestone was just moving forward.

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Yeah.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Because it wasn't in that pit.

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Yes, it was external.

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Exactly.

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And

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Rashi Nayar: the thing is, when I

started, when she started telling

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me love yourself, and that's when I

started repeating mentally all the time.

311

And in the beginning it felt really fake.

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It was like foreign, right?

313

It felt having yoga myself and is

there anything I love about myself?

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Get yourself in the mirror.

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It's like what is I kept, I persisted.

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Even though it felt

fake, I just persisted.

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I was like, I love you.

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And it just started, you

started feeling better.

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I started feeling good and then I just

kept doing, and then my confidence

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just, it's like I said, I became

invincible, and the depression that I

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had felt for 18 years, since 2007 to

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And I was like, oh.

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So if I, so if people can love

themselves more, and even if

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it feels fake in the beginning.

325

Yeah.

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Even if you're amidst depression, the

last thing you wanna do is if someone

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tells you love yourself what the hell?

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I'm feeling numb.

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What are you talking about?

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But if we persist with it,

if you keep Bray, I love you.

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Whatever you like Elaine, and I love you.

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I love you.

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Keep repeating it mentally.

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What happens is you're pouring, you

are, you're pouring yourself with love.

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Yeah.

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And the thing is the lens,

which with which I saw the

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world completely transformed.

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We started seeing people from the

eyes of love because I was able to

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see myself from love, I, my husband

and my mom and my dad and my clients.

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Even like this one, right?

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And it just it's like

I'm floating in the air.

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Love is that thing, right?

343

Like when you're with someone in the first

few months or years, you're like floating.

344

But when that we start pour that

love on ourself in that way.

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Yeah.

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Unconditional love, and.

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If we do that.

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So that means that we start

keeping our attention inwards

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so our attention goes inwards.

350

Yeah.

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And that's the magic that happens is

something God, I think to use the word

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God, because why not God is live for me.

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That is it.

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God who lives within us starts to come

forward, and we, the darkness starts

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to the lightness is the darkness, the

light that's light doesn't there, it's

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like the darkness is gone and even the

darkness is dissolved into light and

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then there's only light, which is love.

358

Yeah.

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Which is gone.

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Yeah.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Darkness

can't, cannot exist in light.

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Rashi Nayar: Yes, exactly.

363

Thank you.

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That was what I was looking for is

there's a dark room and suddenly someone

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switches on the light and it's okay.

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And it's it is what people

can experience when they start

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mentally repeating to them.

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It's a very simple thing, right?

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I love you.

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I don't feel but mature.

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I don't feel it.

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I still love myself.

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It's like we, when you think

something in that moment, right?

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We're just saying it as a mental.

375

Concept just, and even if we not feel,

I kept telling myself, yeah, sure.

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Even if you're not feeling

it, I still love you.

377

Even if you're not feeling it.

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Maybe if you're having these dark

thoughts for someone, even if you're

379

feeling angry, I still love you.

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Even if you're feeling jealous,

I still love you just telling

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myself that kind experience.

382

I.

383

Love ourselves safe.

384

Why can't we love ourselves like that?

385

Yeah.

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Seriously.

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Wow.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

389

What you're talking about is, when

you see someone who is confident

390

and sure of what they have to say

and they're, they love themselves.

391

Yeah.

392

That's the whole point.

393

Correct.

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There.

395

There, yeah.

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If you look inside, there

isn't that dark pit.

397

They have filled that pit with light.

398

Wow.

399

Rashi Nayar: That's it.

400

And that's you said about sales coaching.

401

And so I have a lot of clients

I tell it, it's so interesting.

402

So I have a lot of clients who are coaches

and they feel sales calls the most lazy,

403

the most gimicky thing in the world.

404

Yeah, me.

405

So you know, you're reading from

scripts and it's like you, when person

406

says, oh, I don't have the money,

and then you handle the objection.

407

So it's fine Now.

408

Was so beautiful.

409

So it's you know what happens?

410

Give you a live example, right?

411

You we doing sales calls and there's

this incredible of human in front

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of us that what we are seeing is

we can just hopefully choose them.

413

That's process and that is theater driven.

414

It's like there's a land

within us with me, or whatever.

415

But what if we see ourselves

first from the eyes of love?

416

Okay, first of all, it's to

courageous just in itself, color.

417

So we go there and now

we see the other person.

418

As love, because that's who we are.

419

That's who everyone is.

420

Yeah.

421

And now what happens is we're not leading

the sales call from the fear of rejection

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or fear of saying the wrong thing or fear

of offending them, and fear of asking

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people questions when leading from love.

424

And what happens is magic.

425

We don't need scripts.

426

We go there and when they have one

of these many objections or whatever,

427

because it's natural to have them, right?

428

Like some people read cannot, that

you're selling, which is genuine.

429

So now when you're reading and

seeing them from the eyes of love,

430

now you asked better questions.

431

You get asked border and questions that

are coming not from fear, but from love.

432

Yeah.

433

And now that sales concurrent

into whole another.

434

They become inclined or not.

435

All you are doing is you are just

going as not a sales call, but as an

436

invitation of how much you love yourself

and how much you love that person.

437

That's it.

438

And from that space, it's like magic.

439

The questions pop out of you.

440

Boom boom.

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And suddenly the person's I

wanna work with you 'cause

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this is whatever who you want.

443

It's logical.

444

It's the frequency.

445

It's the energy from which we're

leading, and that energy is low.

446

Yes.

447

And that's it.

448

And it feels good.

449

That feels amazing.

450

It's on sales calls because they

say industry standard is 20%, the

451

industry sales conversion rate is 20%.

452

Yeah.

453

My clients have a conversion rate of 75%.

454

Wow.

455

The.

456

Because they're not going there to people.

457

No.

458

They're going to see

459

how much they have.

460

That's it.

461

That's it.

462

And how much deeper can

they go with someone?

463

It's because we can only ask

parts of questions with someone to

464

someone, we really love them, right?

465

Yes.

466

Otherwise we're like, if we say

this, we're gonna be afraid.

467

If we say this, we're gonna reject me.

468

And if I this question be like,

who are you to ask this question?

469

We don't wanna come across usy.

470

Yeah.

471

But it's not about us.

472

It's about just us loving ourselves.

473

But it becomes about them and of service.

474

And that's why for me, sales is service.

475

Sales is an act of love in

itself, and that's why I just.

476

Shine.

477

You mentioned marketing,

478

oh, don't do it.

479

No call outreach.

480

But this is like mission.

481

This is, and how much farther

you can extend your message

482

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: needs it.

483

And it's really interesting 'cause

it wasn't put to me this way.

484

I have a business manager, right?

485

For many years.

486

And she used to say you are doing

your clients a disservice by not

487

allowing them the opportunity to work

with you and take your expertise.

488

You took the time to learn that because

you love it and you wanna pass that on.

489

So it's essentially what you are saying,

you are just taking it deeper to, to

490

the true heart of why we do what we do.

491

Yes.

492

If you're making sales calls and

you're on a desk and you're just

493

doing it 'cause you have to do

it, that's a very different thing.

494

Yeah.

495

But as entrepreneurs, especially when you.

496

When you love what you do when

you love passing on that knowledge

497

to others it's very evident.

498

And I think understanding that

you are leading with love,

499

yes,

500

I think would make it a lot easier

for people to be, get comfortable.

501

And Wow, 75%.

502

That's absolutely amazing.

503

Rashi Nayar: Yes, indeed.

504

And that's what it is about.

505

It's all about love.

506

One of my clients, he had been,

he had worked with a lot of sales

507

trainers and sales coaches that

had invested a lot of money.

508

Yeah.

509

And then he came to me because

that was pretty much last hope.

510

And I

511

completely different because

sales is all about being pushy

512

and, using those scripts and.

513

And this was a completely different game.

514

He's it's like, how much do you love?

515

And now he is like making anywhere

between 16 to $25,000 a month.

516

Just, or, and the thing

is, he is not going there.

517

How many people can I told us?

518

Because when it's right, it's just not,

it's okay, how much can I really love

519

myself and that other person on the call?

520

How

521

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: can I serve?

522

Rashi Nayar: Exactly how can I serve?

523

And now, and you know this

guy music through your coach.

524

So he helps people get

those like better jobs Yeah.

525

And stuff like that.

526

So now, because he's closing more, let's

say signing up more clients, these clients

527

are benefiting by working with him.

528

Yeah.

529

Getting better jobs and, we're,

I think freezing the whole

530

economy is getting better.

531

They're, more leverage.

532

And that's what it is.

533

It's we don't understand that sales

is not about us being a certain way.

534

No, that's not what it is.

535

Sales is just about how much we

love ourself, how much we believe

536

that our work is transformational.

537

And if the other person gets it,

they're informed and people's

538

going to transform, right?

539

Because they're not just going

to, for me, they're not just going

540

to lead their business from love.

541

They're going to lead their

relationships themselves.

542

Everything is gonna transform,

and we're just gonna be a

543

happier society in general.

544

So love is the foundation of

really not just, relationships,

545

but love is sales, it's marketing.

546

It's literally the, it's

literally the essence.

547

Essence of who we are.

548

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And my thing

for years in business was integration.

549

You have to be congruent.

550

With who you are and what you

offer and all those things.

551

And it took a really long time

because I had to work with a spiritual

552

mentor who she didn't quite put it

the way you have of loving yourself.

553

But she got me to stop

being brutal to me because.

554

The talk that went on in my head

today, I wouldn't even repeat.

555

I would not say that to someone I hated.

556

And it was so bad.

557

And the laugh was every year that I

got better at being kinder to me, I was

558

forever saying to her, oh my God, there's

so many nice people and blah, blah, blah.

559

And she'd just laugh.

560

She goes they're not any nicer.

561

You can just see them now.

562

Which is so true.

563

And you open your eyes

to those around you.

564

And it is, it's the love

that opens your eyes.

565

Yes.

566

So you can see the love around you.

567

Exactly.

568

When

569

Rashi Nayar: you change the

world around you changes.

570

Yeah, that's the truth.

571

Our lens completely changes and we

see ourselves in a different light.

572

The confidence goes up and now we are able

to make a bigger impact in this world.

573

And I always say if I can,

someone who's being in the

574

clinic for 18 years can do this.

575

Yeah.

576

Someone who's just flesh in depression

can definitely, it doesn't matter like how

577

long, depression's, depression, if you're

feeling numb, it's hard to do anything.

578

It's just, we just wanna feel

something and, but the more mentally

579

we repeat to ourselves, I love you.

580

I love you.

581

It starts becoming a reality.

582

Yeah.

583

I love you.

584

Even if you're feeling numb, I'd

love you even if you're depressed.

585

This is like really, it's

like we are owning and.

586

Bringing the shadows with it.

587

Even the shadows the depression,

the darkness, they're all shadows.

588

So what we are doing with love

is we're shining light on them.

589

Yeah.

590

Yeah.

591

So the hardest thing for people

to do is when they're depressed,

592

they are not even that accepted.

593

Yeah.

594

That why them.

595

Yeah.

596

Why them, why they are numb and

what everyone else around them is

597

really happy and what, and that is

the most important thing is, okay,

598

I love myself even if I'm depressed.

599

Yeah.

600

I love myself even if I'm numb.

601

Now, that might feel fake in the

beginning, but the more we do it, the

602

more it's like, Hey, there's no problem

where I'm not broken for being depressed.

603

What's the problem?

604

Problem.

605

It's the problem we have, it's the mind

that comes in says, this is a problem.

606

You are broken.

607

You're not whole.

608

Yeah.

609

That's the problem.

610

It's the problem,

611

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

and none of us are broken.

612

Yes.

613

What's really interesting 2015

around there, I went to a, I

614

dunno, some event, a daytime.

615

There was meditate, all

kinds of things involved.

616

And one of the speakers said, she

was talking, not quite what you're

617

talking about, but she was talking

about, walking into a more confident

618

person becoming something else.

619

And she said, I couldn't do the

fake thing about saying, I am.

620

I am a businesswoman.

621

I am successful.

622

I am.

623

She said, but what I realized I could

say was, I am the type of woman who can,

624

and that

625

was like a little baby step into becoming.

626

I am the woman who is.

627

Wow.

628

And it's really, it's interesting to

me when you find these little interim

629

little tools that you can build on.

630

The other tools that you have,

like the meditation and the breath

631

work, and now loving yourself.

632

Maybe the first one, if it feels

too false, you can say, I am the

633

type of person who loves myself.

634

Until you can get to a place

where you can just love yourself.

635

Rashi Nayar: Yes.

636

I love that.

637

This is so beautiful.

638

That's the baby step, right?

639

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

640

Yeah.

641

Rashi Nayar: Wow.

642

Wow.

643

Love it.

644

Beautiful.

645

Very

646

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: cool.

647

Very cool.

648

Very cool.

649

And I love the fact that, you have

a lot of backstory and there's years

650

of stuff, but you took it in hand

just recently and it's very obvious.

651

How have you are and

how old are your kids?

652

Rashi Nayar: So my older

one is four years old.

653

She's a, girl.

654

And then I have another girl who is eight

months old and yes, it's until June was

655

the event for, the, there was a, that

happened in India in, and that was the

656

same one day before my aunt passed away.

657

And the same day, the second day, it was

like at night my aunt passed away, and the

658

second day the airplane cRashi happened.

659

Oh my God.

660

And it was like a blow to my system.

661

Somehow I felt there was the

need for me to stop and look

662

within because I kept hearing her

voice like, Rashi love yourself.

663

Rashi love yourself.

664

And it's June, right?

665

So June, July, August, and

now we're in September.

666

So months of just continuous

reproduction of this can really

667

not just bring you out of the hole.

668

Tim, you can stop making an impact.

669

I'm going on podcasts now.

670

I'm going on a TV show.

671

Yeah, I've written my first book, which

is not published yet, so I'm not gonna,

672

On live and helping people.

673

And it's only within the last three,

four weeks, so I feel invincible.

674

I feel unstoppable because

the force of love is there.

675

And I feel like I can contain

the whole world that's within me.

676

I can really just boost and, I'm still a

new mom and I still have the household,

677

so I can really three to four hours

to work on and in my business these

678

days because of the lifestyle we have.

679

But it's enough.

680

It's enough.

681

Like even 20 hours a week

is enough to make an impact.

682

So even time is no excuse.

683

It's like you become so much infinite,

it's infinite and hard to explain.

684

It's a feeling that you get to

feel when you start doing this.

685

Yeah, if someone is here, is

listening and you know they're in

686

the darkest, moments of their life.

687

If there's one thing, it's

like, Hey, you know what?

688

If you can really just stop repeating this

thing, or like Elaine said, that I can

689

love myself, and the, even if it feels

too much of a stretch, I love myself.

690

It's maybe find one thing

that you like about yourself.

691

It's, we all have that one thing.

692

Yeah.

693

It's I love this about myself, or I

love myself even if I don't love myself.

694

How's that?

695

I love myself, even though I don't.

696

'cause there are times, even now,

there are parts of me that I haven't

697

discovered that I can still love.

698

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

699

' Rashi Nayar: cause it's a,

700

and so in those moments it's

no, I don't love myself.

701

Mine is like really loud.

702

No, I don't love myself.

703

It's, no, I don't.

704

So then it's like the voice.

705

I love myself, even though

I don't love myself.

706

That's it.

707

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And I think we

will always find new bits of ourselves.

708

Yes.

709

Because, what's the old adage?

710

We are like onions.

711

You peel away the layers

and there's always more.

712

Okay.

713

Which is fine.

714

And excuse that concept.

715

Okay.

716

I want people to understand that.

717

Everything's not rosy 24 7.

718

Yes.

719

But it's about how you handle

those difficult moments.

720

And the more you invest your time

in you, the less you'll have those

721

moments and you're able to rise

above that and get to those moments.

722

For me, at the end of the day, being

grateful for what's happened in the day.

723

I have and I'm paraphrasing here,

these three little affirmations.

724

The first one is, thank you.

725

I am so grateful for all the

blessings in my life, big and small.

726

That's the first and the second one is.

727

Please release the negativity from today

728

and let me replace it with calm.

729

And the last one is I want to wake up as a

magnet for abundance, peace, and clarity.

730

Thank you.

731

And that's it.

732

Three little affirmations of that.

733

But just at the end of the

day, and I'm usually thinking

734

about, what happened that day?

735

What were the good things?

736

What were the wins?

737

What made me smile?

738

And the more you do that, the more

you see to be grateful for it, the

739

more of those blessings there are.

740

Rashi Nayar: Yes, exactly.

741

Yes.

742

Because your focus shifts on what

you don't have to, what you do have.

743

Yeah.

744

And you step away from lack feeling,

lack to feeling, absolutely.

745

To feeling grateful.

746

And so the more it's the, the law

of attraction is where energy,

747

where attention goes, energy flows.

748

And that's what it is, where our

focus shifts to what we have.

749

Even if it's Hey, I

have light in my house.

750

Electricity, when I used to live back

in India, we used to have these big

751

power cuts from morning to night.

752

We didn't power.

753

See?

754

So we can afford generate it, which

is, it would generate the power.

755

Yeah.

756

And that would keep going.

757

But that would be, I would

pollute the whole visits.

758

You have to feed fuel, like

a petrol and diesel to that.

759

Yeah.

760

So you know, now it's like I'm in Canada.

761

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

I know if we have a, if we

762

have a brownout, we complain.

763

Brownouts just when it

clicks off for a second.

764

Yes, correct.

765

Yeah.

766

And everybody gets all panicked.

767

Yes.

768

The other thing that I think is important

about all of this is you will see when you

769

pick up this practice and when you are.

770

What I call inflow.

771

Everything hums along.

772

It's like going I would never do

this, but going kayaking in the

773

river and you're going with the

river rather than going upstream.

774

Rashi Nayar: Yeah.

775

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: If you go with

the flow, everything just becomes easy.

776

Rashi Nayar: Yes.

777

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That

to me makes so much sense.

778

Yes.

779

Go with the flow, make

it easy on yourself.

780

Yeah.

781

And then you are gonna see a lot

more around you that you consider

782

blessings, things you can be

grateful for because you are allowing

783

things to unfold as they should.

784

Rashi Nayar: Yes.

785

It's the part of least resistance.

786

Yes.

787

What you said, and it's,

there's a really beautiful poem.

788

By Rumi, the Mystic, right?

789

Yeah.

790

And it's called the Guest House.

791

And I'm sure people, if they pick

it up it's obvious on Google, but

792

the theme is, the guest house.

793

It's like you, you like

a guest house, right?

794

You in says all sorts of emotions,

even depression, even numbness.

795

So let them come and all you'd really

do is, just be a witness to that.

796

Yeah.

797

Don't identify with it that it's,

and don't make it about yourself.

798

It's, so the thing is we

make it about ourself.

799

Why am I numb?

800

Why am I depressed?

801

Or the i the identity.

802

But if we're like, oh, right now,

numbness has come and now depression

803

is here, and it's hard because if

you're like it's right, then it's

804

obviously hard not to identify like,

why am I depressed for 18 years?

805

It's like then it's hard for

people, hard for us to accept that.

806

That's why that practice

of love breaks them.

807

It starts to activate

those young feelings.

808

Yeah.

809

And that is what gets us out

of the like state of depression

810

to the joy starts to come.

811

Basically.

812

It's like the joy starts,

we start to feel joyful.

813

And that now you're feeling and

you are feeling and emotions.

814

Yeah.

815

And now you keep doing that.

816

Now you momentum them and you just

become a different person altogether.

817

Yeah.

818

So it's an, that practice, like

everyone should try it seriously.

819

Oh

820

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

821

I totally agree.

822

Rashi Nayar: It's

823

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: wonderful.

824

So now I have to work on, I love myself.

825

Elaine, I love you, Elaine.

826

Thank you.

827

I love you Rashi and I love you, Elaine.

828

Rashi Nayar: Yes.

829

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

830

We get some work to do.

831

Rashi Nayar: Yes.

832

Sorry.

833

And you also, it's like I, I

love you even if you don't feel

834

like you love yourself, right?

835

Yeah.

836

Even though it seems like a mental

repetition in the beginning it

837

might feel fake, and that's okay.

838

Yeah.

839

Stick with it.

840

And then it's ah.

841

The love itself starts

to consume everything.

842

It starts to consume the fakeness.

843

It starts to consume the not

feeling good enough, the depression,

844

the numbness, everything.

845

And you get consumed by love.

846

It's like the whole bubble of light

consumes the darkness, so it's very cool.

847

I love that.

848

I love that.

849

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: On that note.

850

I always ask my guests for a little

something that we can leave the

851

audience with a practice you do

every day or some little tweak

852

that you think is very useful.

853

Rashi Nayar: I developed an app.

854

It's a free app that people can

use, and it's on my website.

855

They can download that.

856

I'm happy to share the website

with you, Elaine, so you can

857

share it in the comments.

858

That app in itself gets you back

to who you are in an essence.

859

It's guided, like there's a

lot of questions that you.

860

Takes you through that journey.

861

I love that.

862

So that is an app.

863

And then this practice

itself is I love you.

864

I love you.

865

Even if I don't feel like it, I love you.

866

That's what it's like a mental, that

pool in itself is everything you need.

867

You start from morning getting,

has to be done something in the

868

morning, otherwise you're gonna get.

869

Lost in the day and

the day will take over.

870

So it's an intentional practice.

871

Okay.

872

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yes.

873

I see that now.

874

That's a word that's really important.

875

Intentional.

876

Intentional.

877

Exactly.

878

Yeah, exactly.

879

So Rashi and I are wellness.com.

880

Did I get that right?

881

Exactly.

882

Okay.

883

So like everything else we have,

everything will be below us in

884

the show notes so you two can get

a hold of Rashi and I'm just wow.

885

I, my heart is full.

886

I think it's wonderful that

today has been all about love.

887

It started out as a slightly difficult

day today and now I just see a lot more

888

possibility and joy, which is always good.

889

Yes, I love it when there's

lots and lots of joy.

890

I thank you so much for coming

on and being my guest and

891

bringing such love with you.

892

It is palpable.

893

And it is very evident to me that

you walk your walk at, which I

894

just think is absolutely wonderful.

895

I love it when people

embody what they bring.

896

And I think that's super important.

897

Rashi Nayar: Thank you so

much for having me, Lynn.

898

And you know what?

899

When I look at you, you

are already ready in love.

900

I came on the show and I was, I could

see that, and that could be for, eight.

901

Sometimes when people get older

they just start embodying that love,

902

even if they don't feel it, it's

like they, they become really good.

903

And that's how I see you today.

904

So thank you so much.

905

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I do have

a great deal of love for everyone

906

else, so there has to be some for

907

me.

908

Rashi Nayar: Yes

909

it is.

910

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I believe

I'm very blessed on that note, I

911

am going to say thank you to our

audience for being with us today.

912

Rashi and I are is someone that

you should definitely check

913

out, like I said, the website.

914

You can see right below us and in the

show notes, you'll find everything

915

you need to know about Rashi and

how to get in touch with her.

916

So for now, we're going to bid you a

do, and I am as usual going to say,

917

please make the most of your today

every day, and we'll see you next time.

918

Bye for now.

919

Bye.

920

Voiceover: Thank you for being

here for another inspiring episode

921

of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

922

We appreciate you tuning in.

923

Please subscribe and download on your

favorite service and check out SFS

924

YouTube channel or Facebook community.

925

If you have the chance to leave

a five star rating or review,

926

it'd be greatly appreciated.

927

Please refer this to a friend you

know who may benefit from the hope

928

and inspiration from our guests.

929

Suicide Zen Forgiveness was

brought to you by the following

930

sponsors, TROOL Social Media, the

digital integration specialists.

931

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932

Canada's keynote, humorist Judy Croon,

motivational speaker, comedian, author,

933

and standup coach at Second City.

934

Judy has been involved for over

a decade in the City Street

935

Outreach program in Toronto.

936

Do you have a story to share?

937

Do you know someone you think

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938

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939

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940

Thank you for listening.

941

To see you again