Understanding the Emotional Wave in Human Design
This episode explores what emotional authority actually feels like in Human Design - and how to work with it. Plus busts some myths in the process.
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Episode Transcript:
Welcome to unjaded, I'm excited to have you here today. If this is your first time, welcome, welcome, welcome. And if you are a regular listener, thank you for being here. I'm looking forward to this conversation today, because we're going to be talking about what emotional authority actually feels like in human design, and how you can actually work with your emotional authority. What is emotional authority? Well, it is the hardest part of my design that I have been working with or experimenting with for the past five years or so, and probably the most rewarding. So I'm going to tell you where to find this in your chart. I'm going to tell you how my lived experience has been working with it. And I'm going to bust some myths in the human design space about emotional authority. If you don't yet have your human design chart, please go to the website, just pause the episode and go to the website, Vickie dickson.com, you can do it right on your phone. I was gonna say I know you're walking or driving, don't do it on your phone as you're driving. But if you're walking, you could do it right from your phone. And you're gonna want to have your human design chart as you listen in so that you know if this is for you. Welcome to unjaded. I'm your host, Vickie Dickson. This is a podcast with a human design spin on building the life, the relationships and the business that you were made for. Let's dive in.
Okay, so as I said, this is based on your own human design, and we're going to be talking about emotional authority. Emotional authority is the emotional solar plexus in your human design chart. So I'm going to tell you where that is, first, bear with me if this is something you already know. But just so that we don't leave anyone behind, I want you to know where this is. So when you look at your human design chart or your human design body graph, you will see on the right hand side near the bottom, there is a triangle that will be colored in for you if this episode is applicable to you personally, if it's not applicable to you personally, that center will be white or not colored in however someone in your life might have an emotional authority might be an emotional authority, because about 53% of the population are emotional authorities. And that means that the other 47% are not and usually they find each other, right. That's the way that it works in life. So you are going to need this information as you move through life anyway, it's going to be really beneficial to have. So if that center is defined for you, the emotional solar plexus is defined for you, that means that your decision making superpower as I call it, or in human design, speak your inner authority is emotional, it means that you feel your way through life. Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you weren't taught how to feel your way through life. Because I know that in the generation that I was raised in our feelings were not honored. And that's not to place blame anywhere, because I believe that every generation gets it a little bit better than the generation before. But our feelings there was no space for our feelings. I hear that over and over and over again from the women that I work with. Like there was no room for my feelings in my household because everybody else's feelings mattered more. And I know in my own case, I was always told I was the stoic. You're the one who doesn't operate by her feelings. Your mother and your sister. Their feelings are vague, well guess what they're emotionally open or undefined. So what happens in spaces where you're undefined in your human design is where you will amplify things back into the field. So my suspicion is actually my entire family of origin, has undefined emotional solar plexus. So here was I, this little girl who was emotionally defined who was not allowed to feel emotion, and everyone else in my family felt it really, really big. So I didn't know I was gonna go here with this episode. But I'm going to talk to you about this story of my life. And it's important with this timing right now, because I have a birthday in this month. And it's been a birthday that I've been kind of not dreading, I love birthdays. But it's been a birthday that I've been sitting with feeling my way through for probably the last 20 years, to be honest with you. So I turned 52 in May. And when my father was 52, he walked into my house one day, it was a regular Thursday, I was standing in my kitchen. And when he walked in, I had two little boys grab ahold of my legs. And you know how the kids like hide behind your legs like that. And there were kids playing around, I had a home daycare at the time. He walked in, and he said, I've just been diagnosed with dementia. And it's your job to put me in the nursing home when it's time because your mother and your sister were their feelings on their sleeves and you're the only one who can handle it. And he turned around and he walked out the door and my life was one way before that moment. And another way after, it was truly a pivotal moment in my life. And I can't tell you since Human Design found me how often I have come back to that conversation. And like my heartbreaks a little bit for myself and this isn't like an evict me way at all but it just breaks a little bit that like wow, for my whole life. I have held this mourn this badge and almost like a badge of honor of not being a mother tional you know, if you met your my husband and me, he's emotionally undefined. So he has an A white emotional solar plexus in his chart. And if you met the two of us, you would assume that he's the more emotional one because he feels things so deeply. So I just want you to be aware that if you are looking at your own human design chart, and you see that you're emotionally defined, and you're you probably have some resistance, and you're going well, I'm not emotional. Or you may have thought that there was something wrong with you, I know that for my whole life, I thought that I had a hormone imbalance, because I had these high highs and low lows that I wasn't able to express in any way in my life. And I felt like a deep melancholy sometimes. And I always thought that it has something to do with my cycle. Now, probably my cycle goes along with it. That's certainly what I've discovered in the work that I do that all of these things match up with each other, your human design, and your health and your human design, and your business and all of these things. But I never really identified as someone who was emotional because I was never given permission to actually feel my feelings. And so I want you to know that if that's you, too, it's okay, you can absolutely get the hang of this. And it's going to take some time. This is one of the biggest pieces of my design that I have been learning to master that I have been experimenting with. So human design we call an experiment. And this has been a massive experiment in my life, this emotional authority. So what I'm going to talk with you today about is how this emotional authority plays out in my life and business. How I've learned to ride the waves like first to identify them and then to ride them. And what these emotional waves actually feel like in my body. And then we're going to unpack a little bit how the what's happening in the cosmos. When I say Cosmos, I mean, like the planets, how the planetary energies are affecting our emotional waves. Because this is a conversation that I had with another human design practitioner and she she and I, we message each other a lot. We have beautiful conversations around. This is what my clients are experiencing have this thing in their design or your clients experiencing that to her. She'll say to me like you're an emotional authority. Can you tell me how this feels in your body today? She's a projector I'll say like you're a projector, can you tell me what this actually feels like in your body so that we're like really digging in. Because it can be tempting to know. And I'm putting on air quotes human design, to learn Human Design. living human design is where the magic is. So that's why this episode is really going to be about lived experience. And I'm just going to trust that you're going to take from it what you need. Okay, so the last few weeks, so you may be familiar with Mercury Retrograde, that's one that gets thrown around a lot, I Oh, Mercury's in retrograde, all the technology is going crazy or whatever. Well, in the last few weeks, there have been some really big transits going on planetary transits going on. And I look at that I know just enough about astrology to make me dangerous, just enough to be able to see it through the lens of human design. And I think how could the planets not affect us? I mean, they have to affect us, right? So there have been some really big transits going on, and Mercury was in retrograde. So when I was speaking with my other human design friend, who we chatted often that I mentioned, we discovered by looking at different client experiences, and we're never talking about specific clients. We're just talking about this piece of the chart. And my own experience that it was actually when Mercury stabilize, that almost all of us felt completely off kilter. So in the last two weeks, I keep saying, I feel like I have emotional whiplash, because I have had these experiences come out of nowhere in my world, some things that have been building for years and years and years that need to be brought to a head. So again, I'm the planetary stuff. I'm just going to mention some things and don't worry if you're not there on your journey. Don't worry about it. Just take what you need and leave the rest. But there was a Jupiter Uranus conjunct Taurus, and I'm a Taurus. So this was is said to be like one of the biggest planetary happenings in my own life. And that when this happened, like I had had an astrology reading a couple of years ago. And the astrologer said, Just keep an eye for spring 2024 Because something major is going to happen in your life and the energy of this Uranus conjunct Taurus. I think I said opposition before but Uranus conjunct Taurus in your design, is that something that's in your life now, that doesn't serve you will fall away and it's like anything that's in your way cannot stand. So you may have had that experience as well in in April, and yet mostly in April, but we we were experiencing collectively, this energy, this shift collectively. And I know that a lot of us felt it very, very strongly. And for me, it was like having emotional whiplash, because I went from the high highs to the lows and the highs and the lows and the highs and the lows. It was crazy, absolutely crazy. And that's the feeling that it was in my body was whiplash, like it was just like back and forth, back and forth, up and down, up and down, affected by the transits. So Giuliana and I were talking about this Mercury Retrograde situation and what we noticed and it may or may not be true for you, so just like you, you get to experience in your own body. But what we noticed was that when Mercury stabilized was when the emotional authorities were seem to feel the most out of whack. It was like that was the hardest day for us. So there are three different types of emotional waves in human design. And I'm gonna like I need to backtrack and tell you what that means what is emotional wave means. So with this center colored and in your design, in your chart, your emotions will come in waves. Now, you could go throughout a day and have ups and downs all throughout the day, I'm talking with my hands, and I forget that you can't see me. So picture like little bumps, little dips and dives throughout your day, you could go through high highs and low lows throughout the days or weeks or months, you could like once a year have like crazy rage, and then it's gone. There's just different ways that will show up for you. So the wave that I have is built on expectations. So when an expectation is not met, I tend to have really, really high expectations of myself and others. And when that's not met, I come crashing down, it's like nothing ever feels like it's meets my expectation. And it is soul crushing. And then some people is based on like if a need is not being met. And they will just like it's like a slower climb up to a less high than my high and then like a drop down into rage or into anger or something like that. And then there are like the little waves that just really kind of go on an even keel might feel a little low, some days might feel a little high some days, but really not as, as crazy as what mine is. So the thing in human design, I want to bust a myth about this emotional roller coaster that we live on. It doesn't have to be a roller coaster. That's one of the myths I'd like to bust. But the thing with an emotional authority is that there's no truth in the now clarity only comes over time. So if you have this center defined in your design, if your authority, your inner authority is emotional on your chart, then you probably feel uncertain about things all the time. Decision making is really, really hard for you. You know, I always find it crippling to decide like which restaurant I want to go to, or, you know, I have a thing for purses, a real thing for purses. And sometimes I will, like I'll carry the purse around the store the whole time. And then I'll buy the purse and leave it hanging on a door in my home for me to look at it for like two weeks before I decide if I want it or not like it can be little things that can I can let myself get paralyzed in. Or I did before I understood my human design. And now I just know that like I'm never going to be certain in the moment. So how this has played out over the last few weeks is that my husband and I have been trying to book a trip. And I couldn't decide on it like one day I would be like, Oh yeah, I really, really want to go. And then I'd look at hotels online, everything like a I don't know if I want to go and then like back and forth, back and forth. And he understands now and he laughs It didn't used to be funny for him, though. Like it used to be very highly annoying for him. I'm sure it still is sometimes. But the myth in the human design space is that if ever there's a no and this comes from a human design training, I was trained by someone with an undefined emotional solar plexus. And she taught us that if ever in your emotional cycle, it's a no, then it has to be a no. And then we were taught that. If it's a maybe that's a no. And I'm going to tell you that for my lived experience in my body. That's just not true. Because if that were the case for me, I would never do anything in my life or in my business, because there would always be a point in my low, where I feel like it's a no. So what I have discovered this week, in particular, yesterday was a super, super, super clear day. So I've had this emotional whiplash going on for a couple of weeks where it's just been crazy high highs and crazy low lows, like probably the most I ever remember having in my entire life. And I think that that has a lot to do with the planetary transits. And then yesterday, I had clarity, like I can't even tell you how different it felt in my body to just be in this clear space. And I knew that that was the place to make my decision from on this trip. And then there was another decision in my life that just kind of happened to fall into my lap yesterday. And I was like, wow, I don't even really need to allow this other decision to just roll through my body or for you know, days or weeks or whatever, because I'm in a clear space. So that's the gift or that's one of the gifts in this emotional authority is that you, you get to start to understand start to play in the energy of what is this emotion feeling like in my body? And then there...