Were you one of the outcasts, the weird ones, the so-called ‘overly sensitive’? Did you crush, deny or hide your authentic expression to fit into the box our society just calls ‘being a good citizen’? In this episode I share something a little different...

This is a brief and vulnerable introduction to me, your host Nathan Maingard. How I arrived at this point of sharing the We Are Already Free message with you…and some of the stumbling blocks I tripped over along the way.

I hope this episode will help you to realise that your healing is not only possible, but inevitable...if you do just one thing. But I'll leave that for the episode...

Connect & Review The Podcast

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Thank you

See you next week

Love

Nathan

PS: if you haven't yet, be sure to subscribe/follow, share and leave a review!

Welcome to We Are Already Free, a podcast

helping free DownToEarth people to live their truth and be the change, rather than

spending so much time fighting against what they don't want one.

Were you one of the outcasts, the weird ones, the so called overly sensitive?

Did you crush, deny, or hide your authentic expression to fit into the box

our society just calls being a good citizen?

In this episode, I share something a little different.

This is a brief and vulnerable

introduction to me, your host, how I arrived at this point of sharing the We

Are Already Free message with you and some of the sometimes funny, sometimes sad

stumbling blocks I tripped over along the way.

And my sincerest hope is that help you to realize that you are not alone, that your

story is worthy and your healing is not only possible, but inevitable.

Before we get started, I just wanted to

thank you for your enthusiastic support of this podcast.

We've had over 1000 listens in the first three weeks with over 200 subscribers on

various platforms, and I can't even read out all the reviews.

There have been so many like this one,

which has filled my heart to overflowing the episode with terror.

Had me in tears.

Such a beautiful conversation.

I can't wait to listen to every episode.

Thank you for putting this out there.

That's from Candy Crush Superstar.

Okay, I'll read another one just because I love them so much.

Stopped by to listen to one and ended up spending the day listening to them all.

Thank you.

Highly recommend.

Thank you, Elisabeth.

Such a pleasure.

Okay, this really is the last one. Just one more.

There's so many, but I'll do just one more.

Eye opening, healing and profound.

Nathan's podcast is a beautiful collection

of stories from incredible people around the world.

He hand selects each of his guests who

have important messages and stories that I think we all need to hear.

Had me in tears from day one.

It's a masterpiece.

I can't recommend enough j Joanne. So thank you.

If you are one of the people who left a review, I read them all.

They nourish the deepest parts of me and they definitely give me great juice for

continuing this podcast and for just taking it to more and more heights.

So thank you.

Please keep them coming now onto the episode and may it serve you in living

your truth and loving the unique miracle that you are dear listener.

Blessings and I will see you in just a moment.

So I was super blessed to grow up to be born into the village of Scarborough at

the tip of Africa, Cape Town, South Africa.

Really getting this introduction into life, of village life, of growing up

connected to nature, to being barefoot, to being in the ocean.

It was really amazing.

And despite all of that beauty, which I

really did help to shape so much of my life, I still experienced the lineage of

trauma, both my parents doing the best that they absolutely could, and I'm so

grateful to them, but through their own trauma, there was a lot that happened that

was really hurtful for all of us and my father.

The male lineage is one of violence and the female lineage is one of abandonment.

And so I've carried these two wounds with me and as a highly sensitive person,

I still tried when I was young to shop, I think, as we all do, just wanting to be

seen and have fun and connect and be open and authentic, I think, really.

Gabor Mate says that authenticity is one of the two primary needs of every human

and it's not being met for many or most of us.

So anyway, sharing this story that we are already free story with you today, so I

was a very sensitive boy and I wanted to connect.

And I quite quickly learned that that's not what society was okay with.

Going to school, I was really bullied and

bullied in ways that didn't make sense to me.

I never got it.

I never understood the sort of casual cruelty.

It wasn't aligned with how I wanted to be in the world.

But I did realize that

the way that I was trying to show up wasn't appropriate or welcome.

So I really tried to fit in.

I tried to crush the authenticity out of

myself, to align myself with what I thought society was asking of me.

As children, we're so sensitive, we're so aligned, and our brains and our entire

being is around, how can I belong within this environment that I find myself?

And so my belonging was to suppress the

authentic parts of myself and to try to fit into these structures of what I know

to be disease and destruction and dysfunction.

And anyway, at some point in that journey, because both my parents listen to great

music and my mom's a poet, my dad's a musician and a guitar maker, I got into

lyrics and songs and stories and I just fell in love.

I just fell into it as listening to Kat Stevens when her eyes like windows

trickling rain upon her pain getting deeper.

And I was listening to that at like eight

years old going, oh, my gosh, she's talking about window panes and the pain

she's feeling and her tears, which is also the rain.

And I was like, how is this all happening at once?

And so that is a thread that carried me

through when I started playing guitar at about 14, writing songs with my friends.

And yet I was also selfmedicating.

I started trying to by trying to fit myself into the society

the way that I thought it wanted, I got into women, basically.

I got into this idea of if I could be a

player, if I could be a master of seduction, then that would mean that I

belonged and that I fitted in and I caused a lot of pain because of that.

And I'm sorry.

To anyone I hurt in that time, I apologize.

Please forgive me.

I was myself in so much pain and I was

doing my best, but that doesn't deny that I hurt people.

In those teenage years and into my early

twenty s, I also got into drugs, which I don't have a problem with.

Some drugs I don't have a problem, it's all good.

But if it's taking away from health, if

it's taking away from life and for a time for me it did.

Using ecstasy was ecstasy actually helped me to feel my feelings again.

MDMA was like, oh wow, I actually have

emotions I was in when I was 19 or so, but things like methamphetamines, speed,

et cetera really had a very negative impact.

And I just spent my sort of teenage and

early 20s running away, like trying to find myself by if I could just find a

place where everything is just right, where everything out there just matches

the way that I think it should be, then it will all be okay.

And that didn't really work that way, obviously.

And thankfully the inner voice kept

calling and calling and calling and so I turned back inward.

I started turning back inward with much resistance.

And at one point I went to my first Ayahuasca ceremony,

which was crazy because I had no preparation, I didn't know anyone there, I

had no integration and it just blew my mind.

For anyone who's worked with Climate, I don't recommend doing it that way.

I think there's a much kinder way to go about it with a lot more support, a lot

more time and practice and just easing into it in a way.

But anyway, I did that and I also did the Vipassana ten day silent meditation.

This is now my early 20s when actually sort of mid 20s.

Mid 20s, yeah, when I was just needing this alternative way of being.

And the Vipassana was interesting because

it showed me how much hurt I was causing to myself and to others.

It really showed me the pain that I was

carrying and the pain I was passing on specifically in the sexual interactions,

in the intimate interactions I was having with women.

So I decided to be celibate for a while and really started like exploring this

different way of being inside myself, really embodying.

And my authenticity was this is the thing, it was always trying to shine, it was

always there and I had beautiful friendships and I had amazing adventures

and connections and yet I was always wrestling with that part of myself.

I so wanted to be accepted by the greater society and I also kept shining my

authenticity and it kept not being accepted by the kind of mainstream.

So eventually I had to really make a decision on that over time.

Just like actually I want to live it in a different way in the world and I want to

consciously be vulnerable and share my truth and just be myself in the world.

I was raised on nature cure, so when we would get sick as kids, we would just have

an enemy and do a cleanse and do a fast for two or three days.

And we got well, I don't think any of us

really went to the doctor much at all for some emergencies, really.

And then when I was a young adult living

in the UK, I tried the other way, just eating shitty food, drinking loads of

booze and going to the doctor when I got sick.

And I quickly realized even with all the drugs they were giving me, I was sick for

longer and I didn't feel as good afterwards.

It didn't really work anyway.

So then at some point committed to music

as my career when I was 27 years old or so, and that was a huge leap for me.

And immediately on making that decision,

started experiencing chronic pain, which is interesting how all that works,

but spasms in my neck, et cetera, which I still have today.

But the whole relationship with it has shifted and is shifting as I heal and I

focus on where I am powerful, not where I'm not.

But I really went through an intense

period of depression, burnout, chronic pain, everything fell apart.

My patreon page, which had been so well

supported by such an amazing community of people that fell apart,

and yet through it all, my authenticity kept shining and I kept taking that one

step forward, even if I'd taken ten steps back, just take the next step forward and

then maybe I'll get three steps forward before the next step back.

And I realize now more and more that

really what is success or what healing requires is just getting up or trying

again or showing up one more time than I fall down one more time.

Nathan, I fail.

It's like I'm going to fail, I'm going to fall apart, it's all going to happen.

And then when I have the capacity take

that deep breath, get up again and continue on the journey.

And so through all of that, a big part of

it for me was in my desperation at one point.

I mean, I was contacting a psych ward

because I was suicidal and I was scared that I was going mad and I was trying to

check myself in and I started seeing a therapist.

And thankfully.

As by the grace of the divine.

I found my way back to plant medicine now in my early thirty s.

And really made a dedicated commitment to that work to breath.

Work to plant medicines.

Working with sacred mushrooms.

And wrote a lot of the songs.

Like Beautiful Song Every Leaf.

Which is all about the experience of going into the infinite and then returning and

then realizing that this whole thing is just like a complete miracle.

It's a complete mystery.

And yet here I am within it.

And there's something of a relief in that.

So yeah, through this whole journey of

really struggling at times, I just kept showing up.

Kept showing up. And so by the time the pandemic started.

I had already done so much work to

extricate myself from needing to follow the rules that I was given by society.

By government. By education.

By medication.

By all of those which had failed me

completely in actually taking care of my deepest human needs.

My real need for meaning and purpose and connection and vibrant health and a life

of regenerative connection to the cycles of life.

Birth. Death.

Rebirth of the whole thing.

Like our society just doesn't take care of

any of that as far as I can feel generally.

And so by the time the pandemic came, I

just ignored it initially because I've ignored things like that for years.

It's just like, that's another thing

people are pushing out, that people must be panicked about this and we must be

scared and there's terrible stuff like it'll just pass and then it didn't.

And so I started sharing.

I started sharing these little snippets of information.

What about these statistics?

And what about the fact that it's only people who are already past the age of

life expectancy in most countries that are actually dying and that those who have

comorbidities are the ones who are at risk and anyone who's healthy seems to be kind

of completely fine generally most of the time and those kinds of things.

But what happened was it just created massive polarity.

I started seeing these arguments on my

comment feeds, on my social media and I stopped.

I don't want to be a part of that. That's not my jam.

I don't want to create more polarity.

I want us to be empowered and connect and feel our value in the world.

And at that time, I was actually

processing some work of finding my why, which is this process of working.

Like when my gifts and the things I'm skilled at and the things people need all

align, what does that look like when I'm at my best?

What happens in the world?

And my wife became that I inspire and help DownToEarth seekers to live their truth so

that we can all feel, heal and grow a beautiful world together.

So basically that when I am in my center, in my most truest self, the

result is that people feel safe enough to be their authentic selves.

That that is my gift in the world.

So realizing that, I was like, okay, so I have my truth and I want to speak it and I

want to support people on this journey, so what can I do?

And again, I didn't want to polarize things because I just felt crap.

It just wasn't exciting at all.

And then I started writing for the first

time ever and again, I've been a songwriter since I was 15 years old, and

I've written poems here and there, but I've never really written long form poems.

And I definitely had never written spoken word poetry.

And that's what I started doing.

I started writing these long form poems.

And I think the second or third one of those poems was We Are Already Free.

When I shared that poem, I didn't expect I

mean, I just felt like, yes, this is my truth and it feels good to share.

And I didn't expect that it would go viral, which it did.

And that's probably how you listening found us in some way, is like through that

process on Telegram or Instagram or WhatsApp, or all these various places.

And it's been such a gift to realize that

I don't have to fight against something I don't want.

It's good to know what it is.

The shadow is critical. We have to know the shadow.

We have to integrate the shadow.

That is such a key part of this work.

And then where are you putting your energy?

Where am I putting my energy?

Energy is power, right?

So what am I empowering with my energy?

It's like we are these light beings that are generating

electrical energy with our attention and our awareness and how we move and how we

breathe and what we eat, what we think and who we hang out with.

We're generating this energy

and then what we plug that energy into with our attention and with our actions.

That is what we literally empower.

That's what we give power to through our energy, and that's what we get more of.

So once I'd written that poem, it really felt so clear to me that We Are Already

Free is a mantra for our times, for those of us who are on this journey of

reclamation, of returning to our inner sovereignty, to the inner being, to the

power of just what it means that we are intrinsically free.

Even if we have forgotten that, even if it

has been physically removed from us by force, we are still there is a part of me

and a part of you listening that is inescapably liberated always.

So this brings us pretty much to the end.

I'm going to share the poem itself with you now that We Are Already Free poem.

Thank you so much for all the responses.

And to everyone who has resonated with

this, it has been such a gift for me to be able to just share my truth and to have it

connect with you and for us to be dancing this dance together.

Now, I want to acknowledge that some of the things I say in this poem might be

triggering for you, and they might be challenging, they might cause discomfort.

And that's okay. I think it's really wonderful if we can

meet in a place where it's okay to disagree, it's okay to not have everything

truly aligned and I'm not judging you if your choices are different to mine.

All I'm saying, as you're hearing the

poem, is that we are sovereign beings and our choice is our own to make and that

should not and cannot be taken away from us.

So please enjoy this poem.

Thank you for being here.

If you believe that you can vaccinate

yourself to health or consume your way to wealth, if you think nature is a fool

because you're not a part of the pool of life in all its branches, then I sincerely

wish you blessings and I think you're taking chances.

Though I would never dictate how you choose to feel great, I'd only ask the

same weight for my perceptions and the actions I choose to take.

Imagine if I told you that for the good of

all, you could no longer eat a takeout, drink Coca Cola or consume fear.

Sorry, I mean media globally owned by five corporations.

But perhaps let's say that for a future explanation.

Imagine if I said that the science was in, living a life of joy, natural food and

movement was the solution, and you would no longer be allowed to spend your days

inside your house on your couch, wrapped in fear.

But you'd have to come outside, sit around

the fire, make love, music, laughter and tears.

Give your time to serve earth and your relations for all your years.

How would you feel if I dictated your state from my external place?

It wouldn't work, would it?

Because it's your body, your choice now.

The same folk who say it's okay to poison the well have you heard of Glyphosate?

Look it up. It is living hell.

Those same people are saying they only

care for getting back to normal and your health when they sit on the boards of the

corporations selling the medication that increases their wealth.

Hidden in their words is a grain of truth.

This society seeks to homogenize you to

normalize the way life comes through until you are nothing more than a resource

consumable, disposable, broken like a wild horse saddled bridled with no conceivable,

recourse, drained, debrained your energy a devoured force until it's too late.

And you say, I wish I'd bucked sooner for my children or the next course.

So here's an invitation from the heart of love in action.

Take a breath and let it go.

Feel your gut reaction.

Step outside with bare feet, begin recalibration.

Be a rebel, share a hug.

Remember you're in heaven.

And if all that is not enough, then please, please, stop blaming those of us,

the millions of us hidden under all that noise and fluff.

We who electrify our lives with truth beyond the lies.

Healthy people are not responsible for disease.

That's not how nature works.

So let us go.

We are already free.

So thank you again for joining me on this we are already Free journey.

It's such a pleasure and an honor to be

here with you to be navigating this wild unfolding of society, of transformation.

What a time to be alive, what a challenge, what an invitation.

And I couldn't think of a better way to do

it than navigating it with someone like you.

I love being me with you.

And if you're listening to this then for sure we have a vibe.

So the final request that I have for you

before we part ways today is that you can connect with me.

The strange thing about podcasts is that you're probably listening to this.

Doing the dishes or driving your car or

doing some exercise and I don't know who you are.

I just see stats on my player that says this many people are listening.

This many people have followed.

Which is great and I'm so grateful and

please keep doing all of that but I don't know who you are and I would

love to and I would love to share something of you with this.

We are Already free community here on this podcast.

So if you feel aligned, please send me a voice note.

You can send it to me either on my Instagram or Telegram or wherever you use.

You just need to go to Alreadyfree me and you'll see buttons there to leave

reviews and to leave voice notes, et cetera.

But really just taking that action, leaving me a voice note, letting me know

how are you navigating your freedom, how are you embodying the person you came

here to be, how are you living your truth and being the change?

And what are your challenges?

What is it that you're coming up against that you don't know what to do about it's?

In sharing that we find healing, I really

more and more, especially through working with plant medicines, I realized that we

are collaborative beings, that this whole reality is a collaboration of infinite

energetic particles coming together and all saying yes to this reality.

So it's okay if you're struggling because some other people have the reflections

that you need to move through your struggles in the same way that your

struggle can serve others to realize that they are not alone.

It's all one knowing unfolding within itself and coming to know itself.

So let's do it together.

Let's do it together.

We are not alone.

You are not alone.

And I hope that this podcast episode has helped you to remember that and I wish you

all the blessings and I look forward to many more episodes.

Now we have some beautiful guests coming up.

I just wanted to take this moment to

really introduce myself, say hello to you and I will see you next week.

And for now just go to Already Free Me and leave me a voice note.

It can be private or one that I can share on the podcast in a future episode.

You just let me know about that and thank

you again for the blessing of your presence.

I'm so grateful to be me with you. And I'll see you next week.