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Why Motivation Doesn't Work - The Demartini Show
Episode 353rd July 2020 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:48:35

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In this week's live with Dr Demartini, find out why motivation is not the answer to becoming a master of your destiny.

Why the things you believe you ‘should’, ‘ought to’, ‘have to’, ‘must’ do are leading you astray, and how you can be fueled from within to go after what you would love in life.

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Mentioned in this episode:

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Transcripts

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So and you've, you've made the statement you know, that motivation doesn't work.

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Can you explain why motivation doesn't work?

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Well, I don't want to say it doesn't work.

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I don't know if I would go that far in the question.

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There's a place for it because

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people who are disengaged, uninspired,

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not intrinsically driven to do something, things

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do get done by motivation, there's a place for it,

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but that's not the way to run your life. That's what I mean by not,

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that doesn't work for the way to run your life.

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You don't want to have to push yourself uphill all your life.

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So I I'd like to say it this way,

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that motivation,

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an extrinsic motivation,

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which is punishment if you don't do something to get you to do it

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or reward, if you do do something to get you to do it,

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is an extrinsic external motivated system and

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extrinsic motivations,

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eventually erode and can erode intrinsic drive.

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An intrinsic drive is what I call inspiration. You're from within,

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inspired from within.

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I've said before that everybody has a set of priorities,

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a set of values in their life, and whatever is highest on their value,

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they're spontaneously inspired,

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intrinsically to act upon and whatever's lower on their values they need outside

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motivation to get them to do.

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I use the analogy of the kid that loves video games.

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Nobody has to motivate him to do his video games,

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but they may have to motivate him to do his homework, chores and clean his room.

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So if something is low on his values, like cleaning his room,

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you're going to need a reward if you do it and a punishment if you don't do it

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to get him to do it, but not the video games. If he loves the video games,

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he just spontaneously does it.

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So anything that you spontaneously do is where you're going to excel.

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I spontaneously do research and teaching, I excel there.

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I would need motivation to cook and drive. I don't excel there.

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So motivation and having to have somebody push people up hill and

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constantly reward and punish people in order to get them to do things,

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it's costly, it's inefficient, it's draining.

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No one's engaged, the highest quality results do not show up.

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So it doesn't work as far as maximizing human awareness and potential.

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It might work in getting some jobs done that people don't want to do,

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but it's much wiser to find out what the person or the individual does love

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doing and reallocate the job position so they spontaneously do it,

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so you don't have to micromanage them and push them and motivate them and put

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all those costs in place. The same thing with a child,

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if you can link what is truly inspiring to them from within,

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link the things that you would like them to do, to that,

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they have a higher probability of doing it intrinsically and you don't have to

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keep pushing them up hill.

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If you keep having to remind somebody and motivate somebody to do it with

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rhetorical persuasion, see,

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rhetorical persuasion is the idea that if you do this,

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I'll put a carrot in front of you, something that's a positive,

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I'll use the analogy and if this offends you, then, that's not my intention,

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but it might. Religions use motivation,

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'if you do this, you're going to get a heavenly afterlife',

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which there's no proof of, 'If you don't do this,

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you're going to get an eternal damnation, which there's no proof of,

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but it takes ignorant people who are non engaged in life and don't have

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self-mastery, it gets them to, 'Oh my God, I better get, do what they tell me,

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because otherwise I'm going to have eternal damnation.'.

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Now that's an external motivation, but that's not an intrinsic calling.

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And I'd much rather help people find their intrinsic calling and have an

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inspired intrinsic drive.

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Now some people call it intrinsic motivation, in that context,

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I prefer not to because I think motivation can be misconstrued.

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I'd rather call it an inspired from within, an intrinsic drive,

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a calling to do something that is deeply meaningful to you. Like I said,

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I don't need motivation,

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haven't needed motivation for 47 plus years to do what I do, research and teach.

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So I found my calling.

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I found my niche and I believe that everybody deserves to

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find that I, every time I'm doing the Breakthrough Experience,

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every time I'm doing most every program, any interview I'm doing,

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I'm interested in helping people find that,

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I don't have to push them uphill all day long.

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I don't want to have to motivate people to get to do things.

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I don't want to fight with people all the time,

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because it's going against the real values. No one wants to do that really.

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They want to be able to inspire somebody and,

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and I'd much rather inspire people to find out what's driving them and let them

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take it. Start on a new trajectory and get on with their life. So no,

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motivation is not the solution, It's a symptom, not a solution.

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And how do we find that source of our intrinsic drive?

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Well, if you look very, very simply at your life,

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your life will demonstrate it.

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There are some things that you just do that you don't need to be reminded to do,

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you just do them, you spontaneously do them.

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Whatever you spontaneously do it's probably,

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the ones that you're inspired by that you spontaneously do that you love doing

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that's deeply meaningful, that's where you want to go.

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And I have not found anybody that doesn't have that.

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I have people that try to come up with it, 'I don't know. I don't know.

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I can't find it'.

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It's because they're comparing what that is to a fantasy about what they think

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it should be.

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And they're not honoring what it is and they're comparing it to what they think

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it should be. And therefore, they don't want to admit that that's what it is,

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but that's what their life demonstrates. I'm not,

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I don't give a damn about the fantasies people have.

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I deal with that every week. People have fantasies about what they're to do,

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but I'm interested in what they live. What do you live?

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What do you do that's inspiring that you do every day that nobody has to remind

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you to do, find out what that is and you'll find your path.

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And people keep comparing themselves to other people instead of comparing what

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that is and finding out how to go and make a career out of that,

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or make a life out of that, man, t's amazing when you do. And I, I,

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it doesn't matter really what it is. I can,

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some people wouldn't want to raise a beautiful family.

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Some people want to do sports.

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Some people want to do metaphysics and philosophy,

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and some people want to run a business. Some people want to build wealth,

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everybody's needed in the world, and whatever that is,

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if you stop comparing yourself to other people,

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you could go and pursue something deeply meaningful to you.

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And I believe that there's a way,

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I've helped thousands of people find a way of being financially remunerated for

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that in a very beautiful way and getting handsomely and beautifully paid to do

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something they love doing. So they're intrinsically driven,

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so they tap dance to work.

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I don't want to see in my life a need for motivation.

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I have no desire to live and it have to have, 'man I gotta get motivated,

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man. Life sucks'. That's just a crazy way to live your life.

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And how do we verify our values and ensure that it's not a fantasy?

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Well,

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if you look at what you spontaneously do and if you have,

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if you have to ask the question, it's not quite it.

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If you have to ask that question, if you have any uncertainty,

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it still needs polishing. It's still getting closer and closer,

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but it's still not quite it. You'll get really close to it.

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I look at the value determinants to determine what that is.

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And I look at how people fill their space.

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If I look here where I'm at, I'm in a hotel. If I look in,

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I've got bags right down with my books, I've got my computer,

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I've got, you know, my travel bags. I'm not traveling right now,

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but that's only because of the Corona.

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But if I look at what I surround my space with, it's my,

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my mainly my computer. I, wherever I go, my computer goes pretty well with me.

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My research material's with me and all my writings and research and stuff. So I,

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if I look at what I fill my space with, what do I spend my time on?

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I fill my space with research and teaching materials.

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I spend my time teaching and researching.

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I am energized by that. I do it every day. I love doing that.

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I look at where my money goes. Now,

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most of it's going into investments today because I don't have to travel as

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much. And I don't have to, the cost of research's gone down now,

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that's all online. So If I look at that.

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I had a dream to be able to research and teach and get handsomely paid for it

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and travel the world.

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But if I look at what my life demonstrates,

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on where I fill my space from where I spend my time at what energizes me,

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it's pointing in the same direction. Then I look at where my money is going.

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Where do I spend my money? Where do I always find money for,

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that points in that direction. And look at where I'm most organized,

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without a question, my research and teaching is organized.

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What am I most disciplined, reliable, and focused on? That. You know,

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what is it I think about, about how I want my life to be that's coming true?

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That. What do I visualize about how I want my life to be that's coming true?

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That.

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What do I talk to myself internally and dialogue about how I want my life to be

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that's coming true, that what do I converse with other people about?

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Most of my conversations or presentations consulting,

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or discussions about human behavior, that. What inspires me?

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It's that. And what inspires me, who are the people who've inspired me?

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People that are doing something along those lines,

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educating and creating things. What are the top three goals in my life?

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Same thing. And what is itI love studying and reading about, learning about?

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That. My life very clearly demonstrates that all of the value determinants,

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the 13 value determines that I have on my website ,are pointing in the direction

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of what I do.

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And I find it very frustrating sometimes when people

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won't want to face what their life does,

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and they just want to hold onto the fantasy because

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to other people and they don't honor who they are. You're not,

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anytime you compare yourself to somebody else and put them on a pedestal and

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inject their values into your life, and then compare yourself to that,

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you're going to beat yourself up and then you're going to doubt and question,

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not because it's not obvious,

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but it's because you're comparing and people keep comparing instead of actually

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prioritizing. And as a result of it, they,

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they wonder and have uncertainties and question themselves instead of just look

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at their life objectively on what the hell does it point to?

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So the key is the value determinations to help determine the values,

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determine what it is,

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when you access the top one and it smacks you in the face and that's what it's

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about, and you then start to structure your life.

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A lot of people have a security,

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they have a job over here and it gives them security.

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They don't have a master planned life on how to actually go and get handsomely

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and more paid, doing something they love to do.

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So then they don't want to face that.

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They don't want to look at that because if they do it's going to make them

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uncomfortable and they're going to beat themselves up and going well,

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I haven't figured out how to do it. And this is security.

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So you have to find out that everything is on the way every,

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even this job you have right now is ultimately on the way to what's really

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important to you.

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If you make the links and then put a plan together on how to make the

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transition, you can actually build momentum and create more income,

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doing something you love to do, but you,

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you can't expect to have your full guns going full,

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full throttle if you're got a conflict between what it is you're really inspired

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to do, and what you feel you have to do because of security.

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Security is probably the number one thing that blocks people from living an

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inspired, actualized life.

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And then Dr. Demartini, let's say we are pursuing our mission and our vision,

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but we and we are following some mentors.

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How do we make sure that we don't subordinate or inject those mentors values

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into our lives?

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Well,

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there's nothing unwise about not reinventing the wheel from

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somebody that's learned something.

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I have no issue with learning from a mentor. I think there's wisdom in that,

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but trying to be that mentor is a different story. You know,

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Emerson said, 'Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide'.

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And what does he mean?

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Envy assumes they have something you don't,

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and in the Breakthrough Experience I've proven to thousands of people who've

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done the Demartini Method that whatever you perceive in other people you have,

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but it may not be in the exact form they have it, it'll be same or similar form,

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but the form will be just as valid, but it may not matching their form.

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So if you go and find out what you see in them,

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inside you and find out where you have it,

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instead of putting them on a pedestal, you'll put them as a colleague.

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And then you realize that there's nothing missing in you.

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You have what they have. It's not missing.

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You don't need to minimize yourself and try to be them.

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But you now realize that your values are going to create the form you have it

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in. And unless you either shift the values,

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you're not going to have it in their form,

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you're going to beat yourself wondering why is it not in their form.

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I found many doctors, I learned this when I was in the eighties,

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I was consulting with various doctors and many times they'd go to a consultant

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and they try to go and do everything the consultant told them to do,

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and it wasn't their nature. It wasn't their value system.

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And then they ended up beating themselves up and the frigging consultant

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foolishly, would say, 'well, you're not disciplined. You're not determined.

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You're not motivated.' And the, the, the consultant didn't understand values.

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I could see through it. And I, and I saw it.

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It was very clear that those values aren't that individual.

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So they're trying to envy somebody, trying to imitate somebody,

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and whenever you try to be somebody you're not and go outside your own values,

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you're going to entropise your body, you're going to break down.

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And that's why envy is ignorance and imitation's suicide,

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envy means you think they have something you don't,

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which you have and ignorance is ignorance,

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and then trying to duplicate them is suicide,

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because you're going to destroy yourself, trying to be somebody,

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somebody second. Why be second at somebody else,

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when you can be first at being you. So I got rid of that model.

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I'm not against mentorship. I'm not against learning from people,

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but not duplicate them, not being them - being themselves.

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Now that doesn't mean you can't share some of the same ideas and same principles

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and same you know,

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tools that people have learned and not reinvent the wheel,

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but just don't try to be them. Be you, learning the tools. There's,

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you know, if a guy's got a hammer and you see a guy hammering like a, a thing,

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you don't have to be him, but you can use the hammer,

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the same thing with the tools. So I I'm a firm believer of that,

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but I watched so many doctors beat themselves up,

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wondering what was wrong with them.

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And then they would go to another consultant that had more aligned values,

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similar, and then all of a sudden they flourish and they go, 'wow,

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this consultant made me successful'. No, they didn't.

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The material wasn't much different.

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It's just that now the principles that you're following are more in line with

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your values.

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And now you can excel because now you're being more congruent and you've been,

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you were trying to be somebody you weren't.

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So I'm not here to deny the power of not

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reinventing a wheel through learning.

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I think I wouldn't be in business if it wasn't for that, but at the same time,

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trying to be somebody that you're not, doesn't work.

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You have to find yourself in that. And you know, it's like,

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I've had many students that are teachers and want to do something similar to

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mine to what I do. And they want to use the materials and learn - great,

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use the tools. There's nothing wrong with using the tools.

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And then as you accumulate and create more tools from different people,

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you'll build your own uniqueness.

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And you'll have maybe a different stories with the tools or different

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applications with the tools that you've used,

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and eventually your own tools as time goes on. That's normal.

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There's nothing unwise about that, but don't try to be somebody.

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I saw people, I did this when I was 23,

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I had a mentor named George Goodheart

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and Goodheart was the founder of applied kinesiology. And I would,

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I learned every single thing. I mean, I read every book, everything.

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I was just devouring his material. And I ended up finding myself,

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almost walking, talking, acting like him. And people said, 'you know,

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you sound like George'. And I said 'yeah',

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because I was looking up to him at the time.

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But then I realized that I was not George. He was 40 years older than I was.

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And it was not, that's not who I was. And, and I,

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I finally worked my way into being me in the process,

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but it didn't mean I didn't still use his tools. Didn't still share information.

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I just didn't try to be him doing it.

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So you're not here to envy them and try to imitate them.

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You're here to learn from them,

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use the tools and move forward and apply them in your own unique way with your

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own unique manners and clients and,

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and in your own way and based on your priorities and values.

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And Dr. Demartini you've mentioned before we use imperative language,

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when we inject people's values into our life,

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can you please elaborate on imperative of language?

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Yeah, what's interesting is

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I first got this around 1984,

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84. After I started speaking to doctors,

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I did about a thousand doctors offices in the eighties.

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I literally consulted with that many offices. I was doing four weeks sometimes.

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And what was interesting is I listened to the staff

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and I was astonished at the staff member's

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language. And I actually wrote in it's in my prophecy program,

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I actually wrote down when I heard people say, 'I really got to do this',

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'I have to do this', 'I really must do this', or I heard them say, they really,

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'I ought to do this. I should do this. I'm supposed to do this'',

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or I really need to do this'. And then it would change around,

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'I want to do this', because now I'm sensing, they're engaged.

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'I desire to do it. I choose to do it.' And now I'm, 'I love doing it'.

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And I started correlating doctor's offices in the morning,

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listening to staff members when they conversed and making notes and looking at

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what the,

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what was on the books in the morning when they started and how many they saw at

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the end of the day. And I saw a pattern and a correlation there.

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And I started noticing that when they were talking in terms of love to; 'wow,

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I love it', 'I love doing what I'm doing' and everything else.

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There was about a 1.5 increase in the number of patients that came in that day.

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And if they were sitting down in the 'got to' and 'have to',

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I literally saw up to 30% cancellations and missed appointments and

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reschedulings. I was amazed at this.

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It's almost like the universe was protecting patients

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really in consciousness for healing. And I,

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and I really got to the idea that maybe that somehow the universe is

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participating in this, we're in a participatory universe,

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and if we're not really inspired, stuff, you know, stays away,

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opportunity stay away. I call it the cosmic A T and T system at the time.

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And I started patterning and I kept records of patients in their

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language and imperatives. And when I hear people saying, 'I've got to do it,

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I have to do it. I must do it. I got, should, ought to, supposed to do it,

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I need to do it',

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I guarantee you that is an imperative language from an outer authority.

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You're not doing something that's inspiring.

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You're not doing something intrinsic.

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You're needing outside deontological duty kind of responses, 'I have to do it',

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and that's an external force pushing you and motivating

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you to do it. And you don't want to do it. And that energy

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saps vitality in a business, it's called disengagement.

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The individuals disengage, and going through life disengaged is insanity.

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It's frigging insanity. There's absolutely no reason to do it.

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There's tools on how to transform that and I want to share those with people

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because it's absolutely no reason to be sitting like that.

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But that's what lot of people are living, 'I got to go to work'. I ask people,

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in the nineties and 2000, beginning of the two thousands,

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I asked my limo drivers and sometimes my,

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well now Uber drivers are limo drivers,

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but sometimes taximans and taxi people in New York. I've said,

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'how long have you been driving a taxi?' And the guy looks in the mirror and he

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goes, 'eight years.' I go, 'you love it?' Then it goes quiet. And they'll say,

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'it pays the bills.' I go,

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'yeah but do you love doing it?' He goes, 'Are you kidding man?

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It's hell.' I'll go, 'Why you doing it then?' 'Pays the bills man,

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gotta pay the bills.' And I, and I, and I sit there and I go, wow.

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And they usually have a dirtier taxi and they're not really inspired.

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And then you get in a taxi somehow and they'll go 'Hey,

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how long you've driven a taxi?' They go,

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'I'm the third generation taxi driver in New York. My grandfather did it.

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My father did it and I'm doing it.' I said, 'You love it?' They go, 'Absolutely.

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I love all the people I meet. I get to meet amazing people,

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the other day I got to take so and so drive me up to the,

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up to the Academy awards or something'. You know, they'll tell you stories,

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they know all the cities, they know all the, all the restaurants,

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they're engaged, they're inspired, they're doing it, got a clean taxi,

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you can tell. And that's the difference. And they're not aging.

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They're inspired by it. And they have fun. And they're,

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when they stop at a corner and they're there,

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they're talking to people they're fun. And they engage and they said, 'look,

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here's my card. If you ever need a help, I'm there for you.

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I love driving a taxi. I love people like you, you know, what,

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what do you do?' You know, they'll, they're very inspired by what they do.

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And they don't say I got to do it. They say, 'I love it, man.

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This is what I desire to do most of my life,

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I wanted to be like my grandpapa.' There's a difference. They're engaged.

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You want to go back into their taxi. You want to work with them. It's inspiring.

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It tends to grow, they're prosperous. They don't have a shortage of opportunity.

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They make 30 to 40,

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to a hundred percent more in income and they get opportunities.

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So yeah,

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I'd watch the imperatives and imperatives are signs that you're living by the

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duty of others and not the design of your own heart.

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And I'm in interested in people doing what they choose to do,

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what they love to do,

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what they're inspired to do and prioritize their lives so they don't have to be

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living in imperatives. Cause you're you got,

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you need motivation when you're in imperatives, and

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when you're doing things that are indicatives, they're called indicatives.

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And you're,

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these are indicatives of what's really meaningful to you instead of having to

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live by imperatives, what you're,

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the duty and responsibilities that the morals around you are telling you you

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must do. And I, and some people believe it or not,

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they don't know how to live there.

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They're so accustomed to living in an environment and a government that is a

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controlling autocratic, you know, in regime,

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if they don't even know how to ask what they do, 'what do I love doing?

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I'm not here to ask that, I'm just to do what I'm doing,

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my job is to do this.' They don't even know how to ask that.

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They're so caught in that and then it's just like a rote memory.

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Ernest Becker in his 'Denial of Death' wrote a fantastic piece on

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collective heroism and individual heroism, and collective heroism is,

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you fit into the herd and your identity is part of the herd and you do what the

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majority people do and you do it,

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and the more you do it well and fit in the more you feel you're

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making a collective hero instead of standing out and being your

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own individual hero. I'm not good at fitting in I guess, I guess I meant,

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to stand out a bit. I don't want to follow a culture.

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I want to create a culture. You have to make a decision. in life;

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are you going to be a follower of a culture, are you

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And today there's no reason why you can't create a culture,

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and you can create a culture raising a beautiful family that impacts the world,

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you can create a culture with YouTube and online world today.

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I mean, everybody has access to their own culture today.

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So it's up to you if you want to be a leader or if you want to be a follower,

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If you want to be intrinsically called and inspired,

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or you want to be driven from the outside and need motivation.

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I used to watch when I was speaking at the Parker seminars,

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many years ago, people would come there and they go, 'yeah,

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I've come to get my fix. I've come and get my motivation every,

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every few months.' And I go, 'Okay.' I say, 'What happens?' 'Yeah.

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For about two weeks it lasts and then it goes down.' And motivation is

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transient.

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I have 47 years of being inspired to do research and teaching.

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I don't need to be motivated.

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And most people don't comprehend that cause they're,

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they haven't found that highest value. That's why I put it on my website,

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the value determination process.

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I want everybody to get access to that because it's,

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it's there and it's a simple exercise and it can make a difference in your life.

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If you get clear about it and be honest about it and write down what's true and

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you deserve it because it's your life. Your life is going to tick by. And it,

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and it's gonna, you know, you're gonna go,

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you're gonna end up with Bronnie Ware's regrets of life,

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'Did I do everything I could with everything I was given?' 'No. And did I,

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I wish I had done the career I wanted,

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I wish I had done this.' I mean that's not the way to live,

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you want to be able to say thank you in life for your existence.

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I document every day the things I get to do, I got amazing opportunities.

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I got to speak to an amazing group last night.

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I mean just a massive group of musicians around the world. So I,

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the opportunities just keep merging around when you're doing something you love

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to do. I think that's crazy not to live with intrinsic drive,

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an inspired life when it's totally doable.

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It's just a matter of taking the time to prioritize your life and learn the

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methods and apply them in your own path.

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And Dr. Demartini, what is your opinion if we beat ourselves up,

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that means we're not congruent with our values?

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Will we ever stop beating ourselves up, or is that a fantasy too?

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Well, I tell people that are beating themselves up.

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'I keep beating myself up.' And I go, 'well, quit building yourself up.

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As long as you're addicted to building yourself up,

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you're going to beat yourself up because you can't have pride without shame.

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You have a built in thermostat, a psychostat to make sure

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And if you puff yourself up,

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you're going to beat yourself up to get yourself back in balance.

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But the reason why you're puffing yourself up is because you're in what is

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called an injected value from some authority. And

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And when you think you're doing it, you feel proud.

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And when you think you're not, you feel shamed. And so,

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and any time you set up a fantasy about how your life's supposed to be,

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that you're supposed to live in somebody else's values,

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you're supposed to be one sided,

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which is another injected value or others are supposed to live inside your

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values, or they're supposed to be one side. All these end up beating them up,

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If you're expecting them to do something that's not real.

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Or if you beat yourself up, if you expect yourself to not do something real.

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But the number one reason why people beat themselves up, is very simple.

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They subordinate to the ideologies and idealisms of

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other people that they think have a better life than them.

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And the reality is they don't, they have a different life than them.

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Believe it or not. I was watching a video on Steve Tyler.

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I have had the opportunity to meet Liv Tyler and Royston her former

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husband and interact with them and work with them. And,

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and Steve was on the phone one night when I was driving around with them.

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And so I got to hear Steve and talk briefly to him. But Steve is a unique guy,

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right? And he's a superstar with Aerosmith and he's an amazing singer.

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And he's got some amazing hits that's, you know, rocked the world, as they say,

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but he also had drug dealings and he had health

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issues and, everybody's got something, a pain and a pleasure.

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The individual that can incorporate those and embrace both of them equally has

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the most eustress, most resilience and adaptability.

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The person that can't and keeps looking for a one sided world is going to have

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distress. So as long as we're living in our amygdala,

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looking for a pleasure and trying to avoid a pain and looking for hedonistic

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pursuits I've seen people that go off on drugs looking for a quick fix and they

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pay a major price. And when they do, they,

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think they think they can separate it. See the problem,

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why I put the Breakthrough Experience, not the only reason,

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but one of the reasons,

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is because I saw people having an experience that they thought was pleasure,

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not seeing the pain associated with it,

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and then later having the pain associated with it and not seeing that that was

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because of the addiction to the pleasure.

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And they've separated the inseparables and divided the indivisibles and label

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the unlabelbles and name the inevitables and polarize the unpolarizables.

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And as a result of it,

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they disempowered themselves because it became impulsive towards this and

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instinctual from that. You know,

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one of the biggest ones of those that I've seen is money.

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The banks want to get you into a house.

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So you buy a house and pardon me for going off on this,

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I'm going to go off on a tangent, but I want to make a point here.

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You buy a house.

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A quarter of your house is a garage that you've put something you're paying

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a bill on that you're paying interest on that's depreciating,

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got a car that's depreciating and a garage that's overpriced to store stuff

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that's depreciating to put stuff in there that you build up that accumulates so

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you can't even get your car in there, that's also depreciating, that's stored.

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And you're paying sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars for something of

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storage of junk that's depreciating and people just parrot what

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people tell them, 'we'll go buy a house',

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but then they don't even think about what they're doing with their money.

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And then they pay a mortgage that means, mortgage,

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the term mortgage means pledge under death,

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which is an interesting thing to put in your hand. You're pledging onto death.

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You're going to be paying that until you die, basically.

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And then you're going to pay fractional reserve.

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You're going to depreciate your money.

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Then you're going to pay on a gambling casino of a bank.

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Cause there's not really any money in a bank.

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It's just a gambling casino that you've borrowed from.

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Then you do the house that way. Then you do a credit card,

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which is ridiculously high price. And then you don't, you buy the credit card.

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You have a pleasure when you buy and then you don't get the pain for weeks later

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and you don't associate those. If you had to pay cash,

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you'd be associate the pain and pleasure when you pay for what you do

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and you'd be more cautious about what you bought. But all of those things,

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separate pleasure and pain. You buy the house, you get the house,

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but now you've got 30 years of payments. That's the pain.

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And then you're depreciating.

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You're buying the depreciations without even realizing it's going,

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you're going backwards. So most people don't think,

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they don't have a value on that. They put themselves under slavery.

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They don't see the relationship between pleasure and pain.

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And they strive for the immediate gratification of pleasure cause they're

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unfulfilled, they're not doing something they love.

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And when you don't do something you love doing, that's fulfilling,

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you try to fill your life with consumerism.

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Consumerism is the compensation for unfulfilled, highest values.

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I'd rather build my own brand that other people consume than be sitting there,

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spending all my life consuming stuff and then filling it up with something

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that's depreciating and paying banks and mortgages and credit cards and,

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and debt slavery. And that's exactly what the banking system wanted you to do.

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And you didn't even know that you're injecting the values of the banking in a

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goal that started back in the turn of the last century.

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And it was purely intended to create a suburbial, debt system,

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slavery for people and people don't even think about it.

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And they just go about their business.

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Not even knowing they're injecting the ideals of other people in their life and

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trying to live the good life.

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They don't even realize what they're doing instead of stopping and looking,

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what do you want to do with your life? How do you want it?

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How do you want it to look? And if you compare yourself to other people,

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you're going to have those things happen.

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But if you start prioritizing your life and start living really about what,

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what it is and ask,

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how do I get paid to do what I love and get paid to go through life instead of

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how can I afford life? How do I get handsomely paid

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'What is it I would love to do?' And how do I get handsomely paid?' is a

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different life than,

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'how can I afford to do this and how can I get out of my debt?' It's insanity.

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But I see it. I see it every day. I'm amazed at how many,

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since the coronavirus,

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how many very wealthy looking homes have got foreclosure signs and sales signs

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on it because they've been living on the edge and everybody's driving by and

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going, 'Woah, look how rich they are.' They're in debt.

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They don't even have anything. It just looks like it, it's a big facade.

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It's a big smoke screen. You want to find out what you'd love to do.

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You need to prioritize what you do.

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You need to make sure you do something that serves people.

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You need to get paid to do that.

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And you need to live by what's really valuable if you want to value yourself and

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you want others to value you,

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and then you want to manage your frigging money wisely so it's working for you,

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not, so you're not a slave to it. And then you get ahead and build momentum.

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And then you exemplify what's possible to people and you inspire people by

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what's possible.

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And you start a chain reaction of economic growth and a prosperous outcome

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instead of a consistent survival mechanism. The people that are doing that,

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they're not concerned about crisis like Corona. They've got the cash reserves.

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They've got the dream, they're resilient. They're adaptable.

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They come up with new things and they're dedicated to serving people cause they

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made a habit out of it. When that happens, opportunities come to those people,

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then they think, 'Oh, those people have the lucky,' you know, no, it's not luck.

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It's preparation meeting opportunity,

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it's preparing by educating yourself on the principles that stand the test of

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time and working them. So I went off on a tangent,

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but you asked the question.

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I think that was great. Thanks for that,

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Dr. Demartini and then what about when we are working with our kids and staff

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and we want them to do something aren't we then motivating them?

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How do we get them to make what we want?

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And that they're doing with their own drive and not our outside drive?

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Well, if you have a kid,

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a child that is got a set of values and you don't know what those values are and

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you tell them what to do something,

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and this is my freaking house and you live here and you do what I tell you.

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And you're an autocrat and you get defiance from the kids and eventually they

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move out on you and you, you wonder why they're not around. Well,

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then you understand, because nobody wants to live under an autocrat.

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But if you go find out what the child's values are,

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and then you communicate what you want done in terms of those values and

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try to make a link in their mind about how doing what you would love them to do,

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can help them fulfill their values because you care enough to anticipate that

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and think about that upfront and communicate and articulate that well.

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In my Values Training program I train people on how to do that.

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There is an art to it. You know,

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there are some people that are more effective at sales and the ones that know

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how to do more effective sales are the people that meet people's needs and

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articulate the product, service or idea in terms of those needs.

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And when they're dominant buying motive or their highest value.

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And if they do then they buy. And so it's, the children are customers.

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And if you understand,

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they have a set of values and dominant buying motives and you,

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and what's important to them. And you talk in terms of what's important to them.

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They listen,

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they're engaged and they'll do it if you can show them how it's going to help

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them get what they want, but if you don't help them get what they want,

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you're not going to get what you want. And so if you have kids,

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or you've got employees, when you hire somebody, with kids,

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you've got a genetic mechanism there. So you have to learn how to communicate,

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what you would love in terms of what their values are. If not,

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you're going to be autocratic and don't ever think you're going to be autocratic

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without having to pay a price. When somebody in a relationship says,

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it's my way or the highway, and they do it out of 'have to', they store that,

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a woman's memory of everything she sacrificed for her

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everything he sacrificed for a woman, they're indelible, they don't forget them.

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And those things store up. And then they'll download when a fight comes,

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out comes all that repression. The same thing with kids,

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it'll come back at you if you keep repressing and,

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and autocratically dictating to them, they'll pay a price, you'll pay a price.

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But if you take the time to find out what is valuable to them, not dishonor it,

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but find out how does it serve you? One of the greatest exercises is asking,

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'Out of my children's values, whatever's highest on their value,

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how's it helping me fulfill my value as a parent?' If you can find out what

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they're doing is serving you. You're going to talk more respectfully to them.

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Imagine this.

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If you're going to meet somebody that you really had a very high degree of

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respect for, how would you talk to them? Versus somebody very low respect,

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omebody looked down on and think their values are screwed up,

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you'll talk more autocratically. Somebody whose very, somebody you respect,

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you think out respectfully,

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how do you want to communicate with them in order to get an idea across to them.

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Well if you do that with your kid, you get the same result.

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You get a respected kid back. I had a guy in Sydney,

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Australia that had a eight year old boy

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that was just, they were fighting and it was disobedience. And it was just,

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you know, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. And it was a step son.

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So it wasn't his son. So his,

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the wife is like kind of overprotecting and he's playing the bad guy.

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And you know, it's a peace war kind of game. And I,

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I sat him down, right? Well, I came up to him in the front of the seminar.

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He was sitting there and I sat him down. I kind of like, okay,

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what are his values? We went through the Value Determination process,

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the best we could by observation about his son. And he goes,

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'it's definitely this, it's definitely this particular sport.

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And it's definitely the video games and it's definitely his friends.' Okay.

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So we got those three things. 'Okay. Now, what do you want him to do?' 'Well,

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I want him to do his chores.' 'Okay.

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What chore?' 'I want him to keep his room clean.

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I want him to take the trash out.' 'Okay, great. How is taking the trash out,

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going to help him with his video games?' He just went, 'Don't

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know.' 'Well, how can him taking the trash out,

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going to help him in his video games?

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How's it going to help him in his sport?' And he said, 'well, I guess it could,

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it's an exercise that could keep him fit.' 'Okay.

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Have you talked to him about it?' So look,

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when you're going out and playing rugby out there you need to be in shape.

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And I think that when you pick up the trash and everything else, that's,

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we might as well see it as you're picking up the ball.

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And I need you out to the goal and talk in terms of rugby. And he goes, 'okay,

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I can pull that off.' And we started making links and I spent maybe 15 minutes

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with them in the seminar, live in the seminar and just made him make links,

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start him on the ball. And his wife was sitting next,

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him and she was kind of taking notes.

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And they were thinking about how they're going to communicate with them.

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And they got the message. They really got the message. And I was back in Sydney,

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maybe three months, four months later doing another talk and they were there,

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all of them, all three. And he had his arm around his son. He goes,

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'my son hasn't changed. I changed.

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And now my son looks different and acts different.' I said, 'Exactly.' He said,

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I learned how to communicate his values.' And he stood up and he says,

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'it really made a difference to my son.' And not everybody in the seminar was

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there the previous time but a lot of people got a benefit out of it.

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And he says, 'I can't believe the difference in my son. My,

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there was never a problem with my son.

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It's my ability to communicate with my son.' I said,

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'that's the truth.' And we sometimes have employees that are hired to do

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something they're not inspired by.

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And they can't see how the job description is helping them do it.

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And they're not engaged.

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And then you label them as bad employees when they may be over another place

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where they find their niche, where they're doing something they love doing,

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they're great employees. So you don't want to label people, because those are,

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I see that in psychology. I see that in counseling. I see it at schools,

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fricking labels on kids. And they're not, there's no labels there.

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They're just people with values and the values are being overlooked.

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And I think that motivating people is a symptom, not a solution.

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The solution is caring enough about them and find out what their values are and

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communicating them. Now. Are we going to do that all the time? Every day? No.

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And if we don't, we get the repercussions. Yes.

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And then we eventually go 'whoop feedback. We're not doing it. We didn't stop.

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Let's reflect. And it makes it a lot easier. If we take the time to do that.

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If we don't,

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we bang our head against the wall and start labeling and feeling angry and anger

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is anytime you expect somebody to live in your values, you're going to,

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they're going to be angry and they're not going to do it.

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And you're going to be angry. So it doesn't get you anywhere.

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But learning how to communicate what you value in terms of what they value.

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It gets you everywhere.

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And Dr. Demartini, if I want to be a master of my life, the captain of my ship,

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what practical steps do I need to do now to ensure that I set sail in the right

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direction?

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Well, every day that you take an action that's high in priority,

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you raise your self worth. You raise your energy levels.

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You raise your confidence because you'll tend to do it. You'll walk your talk.

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You'll be more inspired. You'll be more creative.

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You'll get more executive function, which is more inspired, vision,

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more planning, more,

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you'll be more disciplined to get the job done. You'll be more spontaneous.

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You'll have a more expanded view. You'll be more resilient, more adaptable.

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I mean, I could just go on with the benefits of living by priority,

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but every day you don't, you're going to get the symptoms.

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I made the statement yesterday. I spoke to,

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I got interviewed yesterday that to an interview that goes out to 10,000

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therapists. And I made this comment. I said that every sign,

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symptom in our body, every intuitive feedback,

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every social feedback from society,

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every event that goes on in life is a feedback to try to make us authentic.

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And I, and, and at first it sounds 'well, I don't understand that',

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but everything that's going on in your life is trying to give you feedback to

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get you to be authentic. And that's why everything's on the way.

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That's why you can be grateful for your life, if you're looking at it properly,

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if you're not, you're, you have fantasies and life's not matching it,

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and you're banging your head against the wall and you feel ungrateful.

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And then you feel like 'God, the whole world's against me.' No, it's not.

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And by the way, the people that get the idea, 'the world's against me', they,

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they tend to think in conspiracy constructs, they think, well,

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because I'm not inspired and I'm disempowered and

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like the world's on top of me and controlling me,

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you don't empower people overpower you.

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And you'll actually start to build this idea that there's a conspiracy in the

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world against you. And a lot of people end up in jail that way.

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Cause they're angry at the world instead of freeing themselves,

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by a that the world's mazing, we live in a magnificent world actually.

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And yeah,

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maybe some of you are worried about global warming or pollution or stuff like

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that. I don't worry about that stuff. Why? Not because it's not an issue,

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it's just that we will solve those issues and we'll move through those.

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If you look at the newspapers last few hundred years,

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you'll see that the end of the world was coming thousands of times,

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but we're still here. What we do is we'll find the solution to those things.

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As Bucky Fuller says, 'pollution,

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is future solution.' And then I'm absolutely certain about that because now,

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now they've got polystyrene and polyurethane

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bacteria that eat plastic, consume it all.

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You can just spray those little bacteria on there and they'll eat all the

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plastic and dissolve all the waste.

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They've got now radioactive things that actually consume radioactive materials

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and thrive in radioactivity.

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So eventually we'll create super bugs that'll go in there and take radioactive

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waste. We will find solutions. And there's also,

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we saw how quick the coronavirus just changed the environment, I mean,

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New Delhi, you could see the mountains for the first time in 35 years,

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couldn't see the mountains before. Now you can see the mountains.

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The pollution is cleaned up because we haven't been driving as much.

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So we have the capacity to transform the world,

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but we sit there and bitch about it instead of actually going and get to the

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actions a solution. So I'm not a doomsdayers or a boomsdayers,

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I think those are both psychotic states on a large collective scale.

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I'm a pragmatist in the sense that I want to do what's priority. Do my part,

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stick to it, do something that serves people, create a great life,

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exemplify that. And I'm absolutely certain.

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If you will fill your day with high priority actions on a daily basis,

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that serve people that gives you fair compensation in return for that,

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you are going to build momentum.

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You're going to be one of the few that are going on in life,

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where you're grateful. If not,

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you're going to end up living in mediocrity and

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instead of inspiration, desperation, and that's purely a choice.

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We have control of our perceptions, decisions and actions.

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Can change your perceptions,

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change our actions and which decision are we going to do. And if we change it,

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decide to go and prioritize our life. Our life changes.

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If you want to blame and run stories and be victims of history,

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you're not going to do anything.

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But if you go out and become masters of destiny,

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you're going to do whatever you choose to do.

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So I'm a firm believer of going in that path.

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And I would rather fill my day with the highest priority things that are

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according to my highest values and live inspired destiny.

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I really believe that we have the capacity to live an inspired life and make

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that our destiny. I don't give a tinker as a Winster in churches.

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'I don't give a tinker about History.

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I'm interested in making history.' I'd rather go and make history than just read

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about it. I'm not a spectator. I'm a participant that way.

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So I don't know if that answers the question, but possibly.

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Thanks for that, Dr. Demartini for those of you,

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that's on this livetime with us, we've put together a program for you,

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Inspired Destiny, it's one of Dr. Demartini's signature programs,

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where it helps to get clear on your destiny.

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Dr. Demartini can you quickly talk more to this and what it is about that you,

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that you, that we'll be getting?

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Well, first of all, I

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I'm a firm believer that when I was 17 years old and I met Paul Bragg that

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night, the guy that really started my life change,

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he said, I want you to set goals.

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Pardon me for getting a bit teary eyed. I do want to talk about this, but

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when you set goals, you want to set goals for yourself, your family,

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your community, your city, your state, your nation, your world,

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to beyond on for 100 to 120 years he said. No one ever,

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ever talked to me like that in my life, no one ever. that

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was the first time in my life I actually thought that's, that's real.

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That's possible. And I did that. I sat down and wrote down,

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what do I want to do with my life? That's the first time I really,

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I knew I wanted to surf. I knew I wanted to play ball before that I had goals,

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but not formalized goals.

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They were just kind of wishes in my head that I kept working towards and I'd

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still achieve things with it, but I actually wrote them down.

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And then he talked about a purpose and

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nobody, I never heard about it. I didn't hear about the word purpose,

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what's purpose. What is a mission?

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And I wrote down my first mission statement,

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and I just happen because of the inspired vision that I got that night meeting

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him. I just happened to get it relatively congruent,

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close enough. I started,

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I started what I know and I let, what I know grow.

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I tell people that in the Breakthrough Experience.

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So if you go back to that slide it's, an Inspired Destiny is,

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is doable. I'm absolutely certain that you can do that.

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And I wanted to know what it is that helps people do that.

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And 42 years ago,

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or so now I I came upon how significant values were.

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It says introduction axiology, axiology is the study of value and worth.

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So if you want to raise your self worth, if you want to be a value to the world,

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if you want to value yourself, that's what this program is about.

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And then I also realized that if I say, I want to do something,

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but I don't have the values that will lead me there.

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I'm going to beat myself up.

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I've watched that thousands of times with people that said,

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'I want to be financial independent,' but they don't have the values that will

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do it.

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They have a value on buying consumables that depreciate in value and filling up

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a damn garage with crap and spending their

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fortune paying people to maintain something that's going down in value.

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And I, and I I saw that I, and I said, we've got it.

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We've got to do one of two things.

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We've either got to set goals that are really matching our values.

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Or we gotta be able to change values and one or the other, you got a choice,

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either set goals that match your values.

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Cause if you don't have congruent values and goals,

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you're going to beat yourself up and you're going to have craziness.

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So I had to learn how to change values. So I explain how to change values there,

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how to stack up associations and change neuroplastic of the brain.

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So you have the values that if you say you want to be wealthy, great,

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here are the values that you can incorporate and install

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that happen. If you don't have those values, not going to happen,

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or quit setting goals that don't match your values. Either one or two,

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make a decision, honor what your values are or change them,

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but don't expect something that doesn't match the values.

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You're going to beat yourself up. Art of Communication. You know,

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all the people in your life, from your spouse, to your parents,

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to your children, to closest friends, closest colleagues.

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If you don't find out how their values are helping you fulfill yours,

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you'll be autocratically talking down to them.

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But if you can find out what theirs is doing is serving you,

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you respectfully do it. It makes your life a whole lot else,

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hell of a lot easier. So it's how to communicate with people in values.

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Like I was mentioning earlier,

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this is the thing that keeps people from creating autocracies and having to

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motivate people.

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Motivation is a symptom of not knowing how to communicate and values.

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And then The Significance of Reflective Awareness,

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reflective awareness is what the Demartini Method's about.

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That what we see in others is inside us.

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We go around and we're too proud to admit what we see in those villains that

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within ourselves, we're too proud to see what we see in those heroes inside us.

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And we ended up not owning and not being ourselves because whenever we're proud

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or shame,

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we're not being us and everything is pointing us to be authentic to ourselves.

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So if we don't know how to learn, how to get reflective awareness,

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we're going to be constantly going against ourselves and not be true to

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ourselves. And everybody wants to be loved and appreciated for who they are.

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But if you're not willing to be yourself,

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how are you expecting to be loved for being yourself when you're not even

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willing to be yourself? You're too busy, judging, too busy, proud,

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and shamed instead of actually being present.

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And so that's the,I explain what to do that.

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And then also how to take the challenges that you have in life that you think

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are in the way, which aren't, how to see how it's on the way.

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And this is the finding the hidden order in the chaos,

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because some people are running their story. I mean,

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God almighty on the interview that I dealt with yesterday, there was a,

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there was a story about, you know,

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how the market's doing this and how the terrible this that,

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and it just went on and I said, stop it. So you're just running your story.

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That's absolutely bullshit story. So I stopped him. I said, this is,

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can you look at it this way, try this. And all of a sudden, they go,

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I never thought to look at it that way. Well, if you did, and how does it,

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what's the change in your attitude right now? Well, there's no there's yeah.

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There's light at the end of the tunnel. I said,

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well then why would you want to put your energy on that other thinking process?

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Take command of your thoughts.

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You have control of your thoughts and how to turn challenges into opportunities.

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The truth is there is no challenge without opportunity.

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There is no crisis without a blessing, there is no one-sided anything.

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It doesn't exist.

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There's no laws anywhere that dictate that there's a one sided world.

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There's no monopoly. There's a, there's a pair of opposites.

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If you can see both sides, synchronously and liberate yourself,

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and that's what I have in this thing. So you can live a purposeful life.

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A purposeful life is a life that's inspired with a

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a mission go farther in life and get more accomplished and have more fulfillment

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in life than people that don't. And even though that's constructed by ourselves,

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as Kayma said, there's no, no universal mission for people.

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Everybody's got a unique set of values. They have a unique mission,

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but finding that out for them, it gives what's meaning to their life.

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And there's, going through life without meaning is crazy.

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It's the meaning we give it,

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we have to learn how to master the art of finding the mean,

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the center amongst all the variations and perturbations we face in

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life. And that's what this is covering. And Empowering All Areas of Life.

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What I want to do is I'm going to take and show you how to empower each of the

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seven areas of life, with values.

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Cause that way you can take no matter what's going on in your life and you can

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engage yourself. You can, if you want to learn something,

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you can link it to your highest values and absorb it and going to longterm

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memory and then apply it. If you want to get engaged at work,

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you can link the job duties you do to there.

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Or you can go out and start prioritizing and delegating.

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So I go around the seven years of life and I show how to empower those seven

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areas of life with values.

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So you can live an inspired life and show you what distress is.

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Anytime you're living by lower values, you're adding distress guaranteed.

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There's no way because the more polarized you are when you're living in the

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cortical, subcortical area,

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the more you fear the loss of that which you fantasize about and the more you

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fear the gain of that, which you feel you know, nightmare and resentment about,

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and these polarities is a high stress zone and you're basically ageing and

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you're not centered. And I show you how to inspire destiny,

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how to do you live an inspired life and be centered.

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And so it's a very beautiful package on how to do that basically.

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And there's no way, you can listen to that over and over again,

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without having some of those practical applications, I don't want you to be me.

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No, one's going to be me. I got my own crazy life here.

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I travel and I research every day, nobody wants that,

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but you want to be you and you want to give yourself permission to be you

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because the magnificence of who you are,

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the authentic you is far greater than any fantasies you're going to impose on

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yourself by injecting the values of others or trying to get other people to live

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in your values. Those are all fantasies. They can't live in yours.

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You can't live in others, but you can live in your own.

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And that's what I want to show you how to do with inspired destiny. And I,

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I know that I've, I've been blessed in my life because I learned how to do that.

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And it's insane. Absolutely freaking insane.

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Not to be able to do that in your life. It's just crazy.

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Thank you for that, Dr. Demartini. So if you'd like to take us up on this offer,

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you'll see this office exclusively exclusively for this lifetime. You've got,

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normally this offer is 400 us dollars to get it in today.

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It's $192 to take up this offer. You'll see below on the screen, there is a link

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Demartini.ink/drive The link also be in the comments section and that you can

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also click that will take you through to the landing page that you can take up

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this offer. This is an online module. It is three and a half,

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half hours live video,

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or not video with Dr. Demartini with practical applications on how,

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to get clear on the topics that Dr. Demartini pointed out now for us.

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So Dr. Demartini do you have any last comments for us before we go?

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Yeah. Thanks. Thank you for joining me today. This morning here in Houston,

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wherever you are, I'm not sure where you are,

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but you can be anywhere in the world, but thank you for joining me.

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Thanks for listening. I learned a long time ago.

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I want to do want to say one more thing.

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And that is that many of my students over the last 47 years

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they go, 'well I've heard that before' I go, 'Yeah.

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Are you applying it?' And they go, 'well, I'm working on it.' I said,

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'when you applied it, keep listening until you to apply it.

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And many times they go, I've heard that and they want to hear something new.

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And then they, what they do is they,

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they confuse hearing it with actually applying. And if you go and apply it,

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you're going to get a life change. You're going to get some amazing things. Now,

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if it's not high in your values,

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ask how specifically will applying these principles help you fulfill what's

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valuable to you.

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And then you're going to get the most out of the program and most out of a heart

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session. So just want to add that a little bit,

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but thank you for spending the time with me today.

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Please take advantage of the opportunity cause I want to help you.

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And I know that this program will help you.

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And I look forward to seeing you on another webinar or live wherever I am

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sooner or later, we're going to be traveling again.

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And thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule,

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also to be here and thank you for passing the torch.

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And if there's anybody out there that knows somebody you care about that you

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thought maybe could have benefited by hearing us,

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please help us reach those people by passing the torch, sending a link to them,

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or letting them know about our next version of whatever programs are doing,

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because that's what it's about.

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If you help other people get what they want to get life,

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it helps you get what you want to get life. And if you do that for yourself,

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grow your network, go and serve.

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Most fulfilling thing you'll have in your life is the opportunity to do what you

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love doing, making a difference in people's lives,

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that's what fulfilment's about.

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And so thank you for helping me look forward to seeing

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package and till next time.

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Thank you for that, Dr. Demartini for those of you joining us,

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thank you again for joining us on this live time for this week, until next week.

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And Dr. Demartini thank you for your time and we, until we see you next week,

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again.

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