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Embracing Wealth – Giving Yourself Permission to be Fortunate - The Demartini Show
Episode 16820th January 2023 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
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The universe is waiting for you to put a value on yourself. If you don't learn to value yourself, don't expect to have wealth. Join Dr Demartini and discover your next steps towards financial independence.

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Transcripts

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Compound interest, as Einstein said, was a great eighth wonder of the world.

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And if we never allow us to save and invest,

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where the compound interest can allow us to grow,

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we're going to be a slave to money all our life.

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I'm amazed at how many people fantasize about

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being fortunate and being financially independent and yet

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such a small percentage of the population actually do obtain it. I mean,

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when I looked around at the actual stats, it's about 1% or less.

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So that means there's a whole lot of people that have a fantasy about it,

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but they don't get around to doing the action steps or don't feel worthy enough

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to have it. They don't give themselves permission to have it.

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I was speaking in South Africa many years ago,

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and there's about 5,000 people in the audience,

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and I asked, How many of you want to be financial independent?

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And every hand went up, some had two hands up, some had their leg up in air.

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So everybody was exuberant about the idea.

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And then when I saw the crowd, it was rumbling. It was ah.

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And then I asked, How many of you are financially independent,

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where your passive income exceeds your active income and you're

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working because you love to, not because you have to?

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And it was interesting that the hands all went down, all but seven.

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So seven out 5,000. Now these were entrepreneurs,

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so you would think that the percentage would be much higher.

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But many of them were in their early stages,

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twenties to fifties and hadn't quite obtained that state.

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And it was really interesting to see what was really going in their

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consciousness. I then asked them,

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isn't it interesting that we have 99 to 100% of the people with their hands up,

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but less than 1% actually kept them up?

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And that was a bit disheartening. They're kind of like, Oh.

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And I said, Wouldn't it be nice to know why?

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And so I basically asked them a question, to write down on a piece of paper,

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blank piece of paper. And you can do this if you want.

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And imagine that I gave you 10 million US dollars.

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Well, most people would be able to survive on $10 million,

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financially independent. Some would require way more,

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some may be less. But let's say you had $10 million handed to you,

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and it was US dollars.

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So in some countries that's worth more depending on the exchange.

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And you had $10 million. And now you asked,

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I asked you a question,

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What would you do with that $10 million in the next 60 seconds?

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If you had 60 seconds to write down the 10 things you would do with that money

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once you got it,

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let's give you 60 seconds to write as fast as you can those 10 things.

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And I had everybody write those 10 things down really quick.

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And the 60 seconds I stopped, I said,

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Now take the sheet that you just wrote it on and hand it to the person on the

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left.

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And then the person on the left calculate how much of that 10 million dollars

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is still now an asset that is going to potentially

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earn income passively.

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Because financial independence is passive income, not active income.

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And amazingly,

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20 to 80% of the 10 million was spent

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in 60 seconds,

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on consumables that depreciate in value.

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That meant that the majority of people in that room, the second they got money,

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they immediately buy things that went down in value, that depreciated,

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instead of appreciate,

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which became sort of a liability as far as financial independence is concerned,

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instead of a asset.

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Which meant that their values,

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what their priorities were, the things that were important to them,

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wasn't really financial independence,

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or they would've taken that money and bought assets to accumulate and grow

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further wealth.

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But they bought immediate gratifying consumables that went down in value.

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And most of the things they wrote down is they get that new car,

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they get those new clothes, they go on that new trip, they get that new house,

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all the things that are lifestyles, not asset accumulation.

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So I explained to them the reason why the people don't have

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financial independence has nothing to do with the amount of money they've

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earned, it has everything to do with how they managed what they've made,

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and that's based on what they value.

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And each individual has a hierarchy of values.

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And the hierarchy of values is dictating how they spend.

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So if you have a very high value on good food,

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I've seen people spend enormous amounts of money in a month on their food,

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and they can't seem to afford their rent, but they can afford their food,

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or they can afford their clothes, but they can't afford their fitness.

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Each individual will find money for things that they value and run out of money

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for things that they don't, or not want to spend on it, let's put it that way.

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So the hierarchy of your values is dictated by your financial,

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your financial destiny is dictated by your hierarchy of values and they're

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determining how you spend money. Now the question is,

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what makes us feel worthy of having a value on asset accumulation and

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wealth, so it can work for us. See,

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if we don't ever buy assets that go up in value,

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we're going to be working as a slave for money our whole life.

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And then when we're in our seventies, eighties,

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we may not be as easily able to work as hard.

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So we'll probably have a decrescendoing life.

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We'll downsize our lifestyle. But if we have, not immediate gratification,

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but long term deferred gratification and think longer term and think of

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buying assets, we'll temporarily stop the overspending

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and allow us not to live beyond our means,

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but actually to save and invest and buy assets that go up in value that give us

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dividends, capital gains, returns, and give us passive income. So we're now,

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when we're in our seventies,

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we're crescendoing and having the opportunities to travel,

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do whatever we want to do because we've been patient and allow our money work

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for us. Compound interest, as Einstein said,

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was a great eighth wonder of the world,

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and if we never allow us to save and invest where the compound interest can

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allow us to grow, we're going to be a slave to money all our life.

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Now the question is, is why?

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Why is it that some people are immediately gratifying and some people are long

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term deferred gratification?

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This is something that in my Breakthrough Experience program that I've addressed

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almost every time, for 34 almost years,

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and I watch people come in there and they fantasize about lots of stuff,

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but I'm interested in what their life demonstrates and the hierarchy of their

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values is dictating that. You know I talk about values every presentation I do.

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So I found this. So this is what you want to make sure you're write,

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even though you may have picking a few notes already. That,

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you have a hierarchy of values,

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a set of priorities that you live your life by that is

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evolving as you go through life. But at any one moment in life,

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you have a set set of values.

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Now this hierarchy values has things that are most important to least important,

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higher priority, lower priority.

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Whenever you are doing actions that are in line,

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congruently with what you value most, your self-worth goes up.

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You feel you deserve, you feel, you know,

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confidence in yourself because you're walking your talk.

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Because in your highest value you're disciplined, reliable, and focused,

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and you tend to achieve what you set out to do.

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You're more objective and you have a bigger,

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longer time horizon because you're patient,

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because you're doing something you love.

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But when you're not doing something that's high in your values,

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but something low in your values, your blood, glucose, and oxygen goes,

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not into the executive center where you're more masterful,

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but goes down into amygdala where you're more avoiding pain and seeking

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pleasure, avoiding predator, seeking prey, avoiding difficulty, seeking ease.

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And you're more likely to be in immediate gratification because you're

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unfulfilled. When you're unfulfilled, you try to fill your life with food,

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and you try to fill your life with stuff, consumables,

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where you live vicariously through other people's values,

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instead of building a brand in your own value. And so what happens,

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you now build a house and it just fills up with stuff,

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a lifestyle with stuff and food,

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because you're stuffing yourself for a nonfulfillment when you're doing low

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priority things.

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Your fulfillment level's proportionate to how high up on the values you go,

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if you feel you're doing the highest priority, you have more fulfillment.

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If you're doing lower priority, I mean, it's not hard to see. How many of you,

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think about your day when you're living by the highest priorities,

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you knocked it out of the ballpark, you feel great.

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If you feel like you've been putting out fires all day and never got around to

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doing what was important, you don't.

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So one is fulfilling and the other one is unfulfilling. When you're unfulfilled,

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you want to go and get addicted to pride, addicted to fantasy,

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consume food and consume consumables.

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So you spend your money instead of actually invest your money.

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And what's interesting is that immediate gratification costs you long term

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vision, costs you the long term gratified wealth building.

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So, and your self worth goes down.

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Because anytime you're doing lower priority things, you feel lower.

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Just look at your life when you're doing something that's not important and you

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feel like you're putting out fires, you don't feel great at the end of the day,

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so you self depreciate. When you self depreciate,

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there's a thing called brain offloading.

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And brain offloading means you tend to make decisions through other people.

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You don't feel confident in yourself.

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So you then subordinate to other people that you think have a better life,

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which they don't, but you think they do.

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And then you tend to inject some of their values in your life and try to be

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somebody you're not. And cloud the clarity of what's important to you.

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When you do,

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you bang your head against the wall trying to be somebody you're not because

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you're making decision in your own values,

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but you're trying to live in somebody else's,

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and you won't be able to sustain it.

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Think about the time when you were infatuated with somebody and you were

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enamored with somebody and you were conscious of their upsides,

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unconscious of the downsides,

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blind by an infatuation and started sacrificing the things you normally did

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to do what you think they want to do for fear of loss of them. When you did,

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you can do that for a few days or weeks maybe, but after a while you go, Hey,

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what's in it for me? I've sacrificed for you.

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And you start to build up some resentment and want your life back,

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and get back to your own priorities.

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So if you're not living by highest priority in your own life,

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your self worth goes down, you'll self depreciate,

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you'll sacrifice altruistically.

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And a lot of people are sacrificing altruistically and giving away their

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potential for earning a wealth. And so they don't have permission.

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That's why I said you got to give yourself permission to be fortunate.

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And that's not going to happen unless you're living by high priority actions

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where your self worth is up and you feel, by God, I'm in fair exchange. See,

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when you're living by your highest values, you're more objective.

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When you're more objective,

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you're not subjectively bias interpretationing of things.

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Because when you do, you tend to over, you know,

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false positive to the positives or false positive the negatives and skew things.

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Your interpretation of reality is not exactly balanced.

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But when you're living in your highest values,

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is more objective and and more balanced,

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and so you're more likely to have fair exchange.

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You're more likely not to try to get something for nothing,

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when you're puffed up, or give something for nothing when you're beat up.

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You're interested in giving something for something,

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a sustainable fair exchange,

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which increases the probability of people wanting do business with you,

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and an increase in probability that you are valuing yourself enough to save and

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invest and buy assets. And if you don't have a value on wealth building, well,

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it's not likely to occur.

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Money circulates through the economy from those who value it least to those who

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value it most.

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In the Breakthrough Experience program I watch people come in with all different

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levels of awareness financially, and finances are not the only thing

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I'm interested in, that program I'm interested in

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I have people that have different levels of awareness about what's important to

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them in relationships or social interaction.

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And so whatever's highest on the value is where they excel,

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whatever's low on the values is where they have deceleration and unfulfillment.

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So the hierarchy of your values is fulfilling all areas.

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That's why in the Breakthrough Experience,

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I show people how to determine their values,

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how to mold values and how to link values so they can maximize

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empowerment in all seven areas, including finances.

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Because the truth is that people deserve to be empowered in all areas.

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That's been my goal since I was 18 for the last 50 years,

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helping myself and others do something extraordinary in all seven areas of life.

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All my books, all my programs, all of Breakthrough, everything I do,

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all my seminars are all designed for that,

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to try to help people live extraordinary lives in the seven areas of life.

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You know, to develop their genius, to develop a business, develop their wealth,

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develop their family stability and intimacy and love,

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and to increase their leadership skills,

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increase their vitality and energy and beauty, and increase their inspiration.

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But when it comes to finances, we all have wealth in these areas,

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but not everybody has financial wealth.

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And giving yourself permission to have sustainable fair exchange by living by

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priority and having an expanded view of yourself and a deferred gratification

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instead of immediate gratification, and having self-worth that goes up,

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I'm very interested in helping people have higher self-worth.

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And that translates also into a greater networth financially,

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because you feel worthy of having what you say you want.

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Many people have fantasies, and when you're in your amygdala,

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you'll look for a pleasure without a pain,

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and you're not willing to do what it takes to get that.

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And so you have a fantasy instead of a real objective.

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A real objective is something that is basically you're willing to do whatever it

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takes to do it. The pain, the pleasure to do it. You know,

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I have many fantasies that I've had along my journey that I thought were

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important to me and then they faded away. Cause I realized, I'm obviously

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illusioned because I'm not really working on it.

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So I either change the goal or delete the goal or refine the strategy or

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link whatever are the action steps to get it to my values. And that's,

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I train all the people in the Breakthrough Experience all how to do that so they

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can increase the probability of achieving what they say they want.

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Because if you don't, they beat themselves up. When they beat themselves up,

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they feel unworthy. When they do,

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they offload and they inject and then they try to futility,

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have futility trying to be somebody they're not.

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You don't need to be somebody other than yourself.

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The magnificence of who you are is greater than all the illusions you have out

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there. I've been blessed enough to meet a lot of interesting people,

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a lot of celebrities and leaders and things of this nature.

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And I can tell you that they're just human beings. , yes,

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they may have excelled in an area, and maybe that's a very high paying area,

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but that doesn't mean that you know, you need to be like that.

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Because the reality is you need to be yourself.

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The authentic you is way more powerful than the fantasy.

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Why be second at being Elvis when you can be first at being you?

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And a lot of times you find out behind the scenes that they're under high

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stresses. You don't want their stresses, you don't want their challenges.

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And many of them who you think are wealthy aren't even that, they're in debt,

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because they haven't gotten past their own issues inside finances.

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So just know that the hierarchy of your values dictate your financial destiny.

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And if you have a value on wealth building and you have a value on serving

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people and a value on saving and investing and buying assets, well,

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then you'll most likely put aside a portion of whatever you earn and work at

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trying to serve people to earn more.

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And patiently defer gratification

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for the objective of having your money work for you as a master and not having

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you work for money as a slave. You know,

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I didn't have an understanding really of finance until I was about 27.

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And then from that point on, I gradually developed it.

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At age 27 I was pretty good at working. I had a work ethic,

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and I had a pretty good savings ethic.

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And I would save to buy books or I would save to go to school or I would save to

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buy a car, I'd saved to get a house. But it was interesting is,

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I was saving to get stuff. And I was 27,

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a gentleman walked in my office and asked me a question, series of questions,

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that made me ground me and made me realize that if I was continuing at that

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rate, I would never have money work for me.

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And that was the beginning when I decided I was going to actually buy assets.

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And then I had to ask, am I worth that ?

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Because a lot of times we think we want that and then we actually find ourselves

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interfering with that,

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and we're not giving ourselves permission to be fortunate. And the thing is,

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is embracing wealth is, is embracing the accountabilities that it takes.

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The accountability is to be deferred gratification and patience.

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In the Breakthrough Experience I teach people how to live congruently with their

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highest values, determine their values,

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and dissolve all the distractions that stop that,

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so they can increase the probability of building their fortune.

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And many of of my students, I mean thousands of students,

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have sent letters and things and shown the impact it's had financially.

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And it's rewarding. It's fun to read.

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I love watching and reading the letters that I get from people that said,

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I've never been able to save and now it's moving forward and now I'm investing

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and I didn't even know what investing was and now I know I'm buying index funds

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or I'm buying real estate properties or renting them out,

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or I'm buying this and that and they're learning about how money works.

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And in the process of doing that, their confidence is going up,

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they're more stable and they're more attractive. You know,

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when you ask men and women, particularly women,

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what they want in a relationship, pretty consistently they say,

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we want somebody that's physically fit and attractive, obviously,

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a search image.

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Somebody that if they were to have a child with they wouldn't go, Ugh,

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what the heck is this? Something that's attractive.

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Then you also are looking for somebody that's intelligent and they're looking

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for somebody that's got some ambition and somebody that's got some resources or

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potential resources, they don't have to take care of them like a mommy.

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Somebody that actually wants them,

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that wants to be close to them and hold them and be with them and to endure

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whatever challenges it is with together.

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They want somebody that has social savvy that is a trophy,

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if you go out with them, they're nice to show off, you might say,

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and nice to be with and they can interact with friends and family and loved ones

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and they have a prestige.

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You're looking for somebody that's also inspired by something,

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not some desperate person that's depressed at home.

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So you're looking for the empowerment in all areas when you're trying to find a

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mate. So the question is, if you don't have empowerment in all those areas,

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why would the mate want you? What are you offering them? You know,

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it's utilitarian. I hate to say it, but it is.

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People want to live in the fantasy it's all romantic,

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but the truth is people are utilitarian. They also want what's in for them.

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They're not going to go out and date somebody unless they think there's some

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return on the investment of their time.

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So financial reward is very valuable.

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It's a universal value that can be used in many areas. The more wealth you have,

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in fact, the wealth means, it comes from the etymological word, root weal,

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which means wellbeing or whole or health, health wise.

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So the socioeconomics as it goes up you have greater wealth and health.

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You also have probably better education.

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You probably have a greater job opportunities. There's so many areas,

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you probably select more if you have wealth on who you have as a spouse.

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You also have more social standing and more physical health and you can be

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inspired if you're doing a job that you love.

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If you're doing making money without meaning,

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well then you can end up in debauchery but if you have money with meaning,

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it can live in the philanthropy.

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So it's very important to then go and prioritize your life,

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have a value on doing something you love so you can't wait to get up in the

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morning and do it,

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do it something objectively where there's sustainable fair exchange.

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Take a portion of whatever you've earned.

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And I learned at 27 to automate my financial

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position, I started to take money, whatever I earned, a portion of it,

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and it went a minimum or a portion of whatever's greater and I put it into an

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asset accumulation. It really wasn't rocket science.

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I trained many people on this. It's so simple. In the Breakthrough Experience,

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I've had a little section on there on just finances sometimes.

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And I go in there and I, depending on the audience,

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the audiences have different needs in the group. So I'll go in,

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I'll do what I can to show them what they can do. Some simple things.

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They can start the ball rolling and start building their financial potential.

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And it's not that difficult. I remember watching a video by Munger,

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Charlie Munger, that's the, you know, partner with Warren Buffet.

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He said, you know,

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the Wall Street wants you to think it's so complex that they get ahold of your

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money. But he said, it's very simple. You buy assets .

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So what I did is I automated the purchase of assets on a weekly basis and my

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assets grew. And then the passive income grew,

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and eventually the passive income exceeded my active income.

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And that was really quite intriguing to watch this happen.

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It didn't happen overnight, it took a while,

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but the patience in watching it happen became invigorating.

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And then all of a sudden I'm getting to do what I love to do anyway,

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but I'm getting to do it not because I really have to,

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because I really love to doing it. And then the process of doing that,

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it sets you free from a lot of challenges that many people face all their life.

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And you can crescendo your life if you want,

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or you can be philanthropic if you want.

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So you want to give yourself permission to be fortunate,

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because you have more opportunities in life, more associations, more ideas,

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more, I mean, the people, I noticed that as my wealth went up,

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the people I hung out with. When I had $10, I hung out with tenaires.

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I had a hundred dollars, I hung out with a hundredaires, thousand dollars,

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thousandaires, million dollars, millionaires, deca million dollars,

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decamillionaires, 50 million, 50 millionaires, a billion, billionaires.

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As you rise in your wealth potential so do the opportunities of more

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influential people and more opportunities to have leadership position.

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That just goes on and on.

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So it pays off to value yourself enough

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and value wealth enough to become its master, not its slave.

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And the people that say they're either infatuated with money and they want to

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quickly gamble and get rich quick, or the people that resent money and say, Oh,

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I'm not into the money, they're not going to manage money,

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they're going to be run by money all their life.

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Anything you infatuate with or resent is going to run you.

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That's why in the Breakthrough Experience I teach you the Demartini Method on

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how to dissolve infatuations and resentments,

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because those are the two primary impulsive and instinctual distraction

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mechanisms that stop you from doing extraordinary things.

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Every weekend when I teach people the Breakthrough and I go through and I show

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them how to dissolve their impulses and instincts that distract them from being

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present and purposeful and prioritized, they go, Wow, my mind is clear.

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It's not got the noise and static.

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I'm now able to navigate towards what I want and not be affected by

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pleasing other people and worrying about what they think or angry at other

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people because they're trying to change me or whatever, opportunist.

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the infatuation resentments that people are trapped in, are dissolvable.

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I've worked 50 years on systems on how to dissolve all the obstacles that people

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face from doing something extraordinary with their life.

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If you're not seeing everything in your life on the way and you're seeing things

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in the way and you've got running stories about how you didn't get this or so

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one this way and you got all these narratives and stories,

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it's holding you back from being fortunate.

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Because fortunate is really a state of gratitude for what you have.

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And when you have gratitude for what you have, you get more to be grateful for.

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And that opens up the doorway for fortunate life, and

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Wealth means wellbeing. And wellbeing means whole.

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And allowing it and nothing's missing in your life.

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In Breakthrough I show you how nothing's missing in your life.

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Everything you think is missing is in a form you haven't honored yet.

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And so that's why I want people to come to the Breakthrough Experience and learn

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the method and develop their values and get clear because it's just going to

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give you a competitive advantage in life.

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The average person's going through life and missing out on the magnificence.

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And they could be doing something more extraordinary.

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And so that's why I took the time to do these little presentations each week to

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try to give some sort of education and also action steps.

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And to make your mind think a bit,

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to stretch outside the normal boundaries that it's probably living in.

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We many times subordinate to the moral hypocrisies of outside authorities,

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mother's, father's, preacher's, teachers.

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And they may or may not be financially fortunate, they may not be wealthy,

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they may not be financially independent.

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Be aware of where you're subordinating to,

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because whatever you subordinate to and inject into your life will probably

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impact your decisions. Some people call those limiting beliefs.

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And anytime you're trying to live outside your own values,

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you're going to end up thinking there's something wrong with you,

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because you're going to have futility. And you don't need to have futility.

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You can have utility.

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Utility means doing something that serves other people with sustainable fair

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exchange.

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Futility is trying to get something for nothing or trying to give something for

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nothing that eventually backfires. It's not sustainable.

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So I just wanted to take the time to do that and to encourage you

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to come to the Breakthrough Experience.

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Also go online and do the Value Determination process so you can live by

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priority. If you fill your day with high priority actions,

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you increase the probability of building your fortune.

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But if you're not doing high priority actions,

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your day's going to fill up with low priority distractions.

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You're going to devalue yourself. You're going to feel the amygdala,

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you're going to be wanting something for nothing or looking for fantasies or

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consumables.

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And you're going to overeat and do all the things that the amygdala does.

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All the addictions come from that. And that's not the way to master your life.

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That's the animal brain. And there's not a lot of fortune animals.

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You want the angelic brain, the human brain that's inspired.

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And that's what the Breakthrough Experience is about.

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That's what my method's about, that's what Value Determinations for.

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Everything I'm working towards and been teaching all these years is for that

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objective.

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Let me help you do what I've helped thousands and thousands of people do.

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The things that I set out to do to help me master my life,

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the seven areas of life,

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I've been blessed to have all those areas empowering today.

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And what's interesting is, there's nothing there that's rocket science.

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It can be do, you can do it. It's not, not that difficult.

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And I'd love to show it to you and give you the opportunity that I've had in

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life because I took the time to figure it out and put it together.

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And I'd rather pass the torch to you because if I help other people get what

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they want to get in life, I get what I want to get in life. I,

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I love reading the letters of people that had extraordinary outcomes from the

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Breakthrough Experience. It's inspiring to me. It gives tears to my eyes,

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makes me want to go and do more Breakthroughs. That's

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I've been doing them for 34 almost years and I've been working on the material

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for 50 almost. So I love to share that with you.

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Why reinvent a wheel when you can take 50 years worth of understanding and

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summarize it and take it and run with it? You know,

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there's so many young people that are coming to the Breakthrough Experience

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today that are stepping on the shoulders that I took 50 years to learn and

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they're taking off with it,

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and they're going and doing things much faster than I was doing it.

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So please take advantage of that. Join me at the Breakthrough Experience.

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Do the Value Determination process. Give yourself permission to be fortunate.

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Give yourself permission to have your money work for you instead of you work for

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it all your life, and do something extraordinary with

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Nobody's going to get up in the morning and dedicate their life to your

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fulfillment. It's totally up to you. So this is Dr. Demartini,

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that's my message for the week,

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and hope to see you at the Breakthrough Experience.

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So I just know if I can share with you in 24 hours,

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I just spent 30 minutes with you,

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there I give you 24 hours of very powerful information that's right

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there on the spot change your life and you get to use it for the rest of your

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life. So I look forward to seeing you there. Thank you for joining me today.