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Monogamy, Non-Monogamy, and Misconceptions
Episode 724th August 2022 • Breaking Free Authentically: The Sex Positive Relationship Podcast • Karine Bedard
00:00:00 01:09:33

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Episode7: Monogamy, Non-Monogamy, and Misconceptions


Have you ever wondered what the differences are between Monogamy and Non-Monogamy? Well, today you find out and we also take a look at 8 common misconceptions associated with Ethical or Consensual Non-Monogamy. We also take a look at the History of Monogamy and how it came to be. Are we meant to be monogamous? Is it more natural?

Tune in to find out!

[03:00] Defining Monogamy and Ethical/ Consensual Non-Monogamy:

  • Monogamy: traditionally it was one man and one woman united in a sexual/emotional relationship for life
  • Serial Monogamy: this is more commonly what is practiced now in our culture.  People have emotional/sexual relationships with one person at a time but not necessarily the same person for life
  • Monogamy / Monoamory / Monogamish

[06:10] Four Types of Monogamy:

  1. Sexual
  2. Emotional
  3. Social
  4. Practical

[08:35] History of Monogamy

[10:30] A Brief History of Monogamy from The Maudern

[14:22] What is Ethical Non-Monogamy?

In its most basic form, non-monogamy is any relationship that involves more than two people, where an outside or additional relationship is allowed. However, ethical is a very important qualifier that helps distinguish dynamics for the folks involved. 

“Ethically non-monogamous relationships are ones in which all people involved have negotiated the terms of and enthusiastically consented to non-monogamy, without feeling coerced into it,” explains Dr. Dulcinea Pitagora, NYC-based psychotherapist and sex therapist.

  • [16:11]Swingers / Swinging / Lifestyle / LS
  • [18:11]Open Relationship
  • [19:30]Polyamory
  • [20:35]Solo Poly
  • [20:55]Relationship Anarchy

[22:10]Misconceptions about Consensual Nonmonogamy from Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

[22:53]Misconception #1: Consensual Nonmonogamy Threatens the Institution of Marriage

[29:53]Misconception #2: Consensually Nonmonogamous People Are at Higher Risk for Contracting STIs

[35:20]Misconception #3: People Who Choose to Be in Alternative Relationships Are Incapable of Intimacy

[42:02]Misconception #4: Cheating and Consensual Nonmonogamy Are Similar

[44:51]Misconception #5: Designer Relationships Perpetuate Male Dominance at the Expense of Women

[49:53]Misconception #6: Monogamy is Better for Children

[53:24]Misconception #7: People in Nonmonogamous Relationships Have a Higher Rate of Separation and Divorce

[57:13]Misconception #8: The End of a Relationship Represents a “Failure”

[1:03:24]Benefits of ENM:

A 2020 study conducted by Western University, York University and the University of Utah actually found that people with consensually non-monogamous connections had increased life satisfaction, relationship quality, and sexual contentment.

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