Storytelling is an invitation to connect with others. What a gift it is to share our experiences and adventures with another human being, and have an opportunity to track one another throughout time. As we end this year, let’s investigate: What story are you telling about this year? Who are the characters? What were the moments of rising and falling action? What genre are you living in? 

Listen in on today’s episode as I ask myself these same questions and I leave you with a question and invitation to share your answers with your customers, and me.

Topics Covered:

• Storytelling is the gift of sharing experiences and adventure
• What is my story from the past year?
• Stories that tether us to others and to the past of who we are or where we came from
• Ethical marketing in providing a different approach instead of a solution
• Telling stories brings humanity back into our business practices

Resources Mentioned:

• Tanya Geisler on becoming an empty nester
• Nikiah Seeds on ego entering the room during her work as a doula
• Nyla Falardeau on coming to her work as an intuitive

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• Website
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• About Me 
• Email: hello@thisisjenniealexis.com

Hey, it's your host Jennie with an I E. And you are listening to this is Jennie Alexis, a podcast about getting curious and doing things differently. Every episode I share personal musings conversations and stories that I hope will invite you to explore ways to live outside the systems we're taught, and often believe we need to fit into. For more information about today's episode, including show notes, be sure to visit this is Jennie alexis.com/podcast. I am so glad you're here. Now onto today's show. Hello, and welcome back, it's so good to be with you in this space. Over the last few episodes, I've been sharing a little bit about who I am, and the ways that I understand the world. And I want to continue that conversation a little bit before I start sharing some episodes, with interviews with folks that I really admire. And just a little side note, and maybe a little teaser for some of you is I'm going to do an interview with my dad, I think that's gonna be really fun. He is certainly one of the smartest people I know he's been in business for himself for a long, long time. We are very, very similar in a lot of ways. And we share a love of conversation and discussion. And it's where there's a real richness in our relationship and our friendship. So stay tuned for that episode will be sometime in the new year. And speaking of the new year, that's what I want to talk about a little bit on today's episode, this morning, I started thinking about who I wonder what my word of the year will be for 2023. And then I took a breath. There's still time left in this year. And what I have not yet done is really reflect back on these last 12 months, and reflected on the focus that I chose for this year. And how that word, that vibration that spell has worked on me. And I've worked with it. So I don't want to rush because there's more to the story of 2022. And I really believe that stories matter. I know they matter. There central to who we are as humans, I think they're in fact, one of the things that really makes us human is this storytelling, not just conversation and language. But this gift of sharing experiences sharing adventure, sharing the arc of an experience with others. I also think stories are one of the ways that we track ourselves, it's a way that we can sort of look back and consider the things that we've overcome the thresholds we've crossed the grief that we've emerged from. And it's also a way that we can track one another. And I don't know that we do enough tracking of one another really consciously. It's something that can bring so much richness to our lives when we are taking notice of what's happening for others. And in the unfoldment of their own stories. So we've always had stories, right? There was a time where there's it's still, of course, you know, before there was the written word. And it was very common where people could access, written Word through books and articles. And of course now the great oracle of Google and the internet. Storytelling was done simply through repetition. They were people who are essentially like professional storytellers where they would go from community to community and share stories share the news of other villages of other towns of other countries of other places. And the stories that have always been shared. They're to teach us. They're there to remind us to guide us, sometimes to warn us. And I think often to be a harbinger of hope, a harbinger of what is possible. And so this is something I'm really sitting with is what is my story from this past year, and I invite you to ask yourself the same question. What is your story I'm from this past year. So towards the end of, I guess it would be 2021, I really acknowledged that something needed to change with me. I was not comfortable, and I wasn't uncomfortable in a way that invites the growth of edges, I was physically uncomfortable, I had a lot of discomfort in my body, I didn't have a lot of energy, I didn't feel like I had a lot of strength, I was lacking a lot of mental clarity, the ability to retain information, I felt a serious creative drain, it was hard for me to be present to regulate my emotions, I was very reactive, I wasn't very good at responding, I was really struggling to be the kind of friend that I had and want it to be. And while it was, and would have been really easy to look at all the things around me that weren't working, that were different, there's also a self responsibility here that needed to take place. And so what I really identified is that at some point, you know, and I have a sense of when that was, but at some point, I had really stopped tending to myself, I was putting out a lot of energy and care on to others and for others. And while I still hold it that's really important and really core aspect of who I am, we also need to fill our own tanks, right. So I wasn't really tending to that. And so the word that I chose was self reverence. And so I made some decisions about my wellness. And I acknowledged that a lot of the decisions and investments that I was able to make those come because I hold a certain level of financial privilege and access to the kind of investment needed to make those choices. So it's really important that I note that, because I don't want to suggest that what I did is possible or available, or even of interest to others. But this is really, for me what I needed to do. And so I started working with somebody to strengthen my body to care for my body, I started to really clear goal that I wanted to be able to take these dance classes in the fall when they started. And I knew I didn't have the physical strength and the physical ability to do that. I have the desire, like I'm a dancer, I love to dance, I can move. But would I be able to move for an hour class two or three times a week? No. And so that was really, that was really the focus for me is building my strength and my capacity towards this goal of being able to dance, possibly two to three times a week. And, you know, there were challenges along the way and frustrations along the way. And ultimately, the autumn came, and I joined these dance classes, and it's made such a difference for me in my form of creative expression. I think the biggest struggle, you know, one of the elements in a great story is like what is the challenge that the individual is overcoming what is the rising action and what is the sort of climactic moment and then the falling action and sort of the resolution and then the story begins again. So I think the real challenge for me was really believing that it was possible, and investing the time and dedication and not just like the actual, you know, hour, couple of hours a week or whatever it took. But the the mental real estate, allowing myself to make room in my mind and in my heart for that. That was a real challenge. And on a journey like this, there's like lots of little wins. But I sort of sit here now four months into dancing again after many many years of being away from a dance studio and feeling really proud that I can do some of this choreography that I can remember it that I can move in that way that I don't have pain that I don't look in the mirror and feel frustrated by the shape of my body that I feel comfortable, I feel at ease I feel more at home. So that was in very short. You know what was important for me this year was was self reverence and there are many characters right there are people who come along and and support us who guide us. You know, I think about my personal trainer and all the care my partner put into ensuring that I had great food and the folks at the grocery store who brought that food in and the farmers who grew that food and all of The friends and business colleagues who encouraged and celebrated all of those little wins. And I think really the big lesson for me has been that if I am not tending to myself on a regular basis in a way that makes me feel good. Tending to my body in a way that I define is appropriate, not what contemporary culture or others define as appropriate. If I'm not doing those things on a consistent basis, then I it's actually really difficult for me to be present in the way I want to be present. And it sounds really simple. And it is to some extent, right, but it's not that easy. So the story, I hope will continue into this year. And I don't yet know what my focus my word of focus will be for 2023. But I think it will reveal itself in the coming weeks. So my friends, what story are you telling about this year? Who are the characters? What's the plot? What were some moments of rising action? falling action? Was there a moment of climax in the story? What was the resolution? Is there a resolution? You know, what, what genre? Were you playing with this? This year? adventure, romance, sci fi, maybe historical fiction for some of us? So what are those stories that we're telling, and this whole idea around storytelling, and what happens for us in a day, in a week, in a month in a year, I want to tie that back to our businesses, if you're a small business owner in particular, one of the things I've really seen work well this year with my clients. And what I mean by work well, is pieces of content that went out where they were then able to receive feedback and love and comments, from clients and customers that said, Wow, that really touched me that meant something, or you really shared what was on my heart, or this resonates for me, or thank you for speaking my truth, where there was some kind of reflection back that fuels the work they do. That really meant something to them. And it was through stories. And I'll share in the show notes, a couple of those stories, ones that I think many of them were not long or complex, some of them were about a moment in a day, a moment over a few days. But I think, at the core of all of those pieces was an individual saying, even though I know there are ways that I teach you that I hope will support you. I've also experience frustration, anger, grief, disappointment, I also sometimes don't know where to go, what to do, how to navigate this one thing. And so that sense of vulnerability that is shared and stories, I think that's what people really, really want. They want to feel connected, we want to feel connected to other people. And it is one of the gifts right of the internet of social media is that we get to read or listen or watch what other people have to share about their lives. And it may light a spark in us that says, oh, yeah, me too. I get that. That's happened for me too. Or even. Thank you for articulating something I couldn't articulate for myself. We want stories. We want to know how people survived thrived, how they overcame something, how they navigated a difficult moment, how they adapted to a situation, that was hard, how they learn something new, or defeated something that had been present with them for a long time. And I think we crave those stories because of this connection piece. But also because story. It's a form of tether. It tethers us to what is possible. So do the future, to hope. It tethers us to our humanity or reminds us that no one out there is living without struggle. And it also, I think, tethers us to our past story can remind us where we come from, it can remind us of knowledge that maybe we thought was lost. It can help us remember Other ways of being ideas, recipes, folklore, that help us understand who we are. And because of this tethering piece, and this connection piece is that story actually can be a form of momentum, an invitation to action. And when I say action, I don't necessarily mean go out and do something, sometimes action can be, I'm going to rest, I'm going to take a nap. And that's where I think there's a lot of value. Where I really saw the sharing of stories really worked for folks this year, that when they expressed what was happening in their lives, we can trust somebody who says, Hey, I am not a perfect human. And I am not going to put out this story into the world. That simply isn't true. I'm going to tell you what's up for me. And when people do that, in our businesses, when we do that in our businesses, there is a sense of feeling relatable, right? People feel like they can sit at a table with us. They can feel like they can be in circle with us. And I think it helps us to begin to decouple this idea that a handful of people have the solution to whatever the problem is, because the thing is, nobody has the solution, there is no solution. And anyone who is marketing in that way, saying I have the solution to this problem. And that's simply not true. You may have an approach, let's say you have a solution. It's like really dehumanizing kind of really ignores what your clients and customers are experiencing. But when we arrive at small business owners through our marketing and saying, This is what's up for me, these are the tools that I'm using. It's helped me a little bit, we're not providing a solution. We're providing an opportunity and invitation, something for consideration. And that's where the piece around stories where we get to learn we get to think about a new way of doing things, we get to draw on the knowledge and wisdom and experience of another for our own selves. So most of us who are in business will likely have seen that approach to sales pages. Where we are asked by copywriters and there are lebih I want to preface this here. There are some incredible copywriters out there who are taking really ethical approach. And there are a lot of copywriters who are taking what I think's really harmful approach. So the approach that is problematic is the approach that basically lays down all the ways that you are suffering, all of the problems that you are navigating, and lays down all the things that are broken within you, all the things that need to be fixed, and then provides some kind of magical solution to all of these problems. And it's true, those are very effective sales pages. There's no doubt about that. And of course, they're successful, because they're drawing on your shame. They shame us into buying something, and 100% for a live people that works in the short term. Personally, I think it lacks so much integrity. And I think it's really disgusting, to be perfectly honest. But then there are folks, and I'm seeing more of this where people are sharing a bit about their own journey about where they're at what they see perhaps is missing in the collective, and then saying, hey, so I like created this thing, because I just didn't see it out there. Or it's actually what I really needed, or because it was in response to what the community I was already working with really wanted, where there's this move away. Like, we do not need people to tell us what is wrong with us. I am fine. I have a running list of all the things that are not working. So I don't need somebody to tell that. To me. It feels more generous. It feels more soothing. When someone says, Hey, this is my story. This is my journey. These are some things that I found really helpful. These are some ways that I might be able to support you. If you're feeling the same way. Here's what we have. That feels more generous. It feels like an invitation. And that's, that's the strength, right? of storytelling. It's an invitation. It's not a you do this, you do that If it's an invitation, it's an invitation into imagination, it's an invitation to connection. It's an invitation to learning or unlearning something that maybe you didn't have access to, in the past, or before. So that's really the value of storytelling. And I think that's why as small businesses, it's, it's really key for us to explore that and share that. I want to be in relationship with the people that I'm investing in their product, in their services, in their coaching, in their support, I don't need to be their friend. But I want to feel like if we sat down together, we would have a strong point of connection, it helps create a more balanced relationship, as opposed to this power struggle that can often occur. And really, we see a lot of this in the coaching industry, right? A lot of this in the new age, health and wellness industry, this really intense power dynamic. But the truth is, is that when we arrive, as a client or customer, into a coaches, teachers environment, we're also bringing our own knowledge, our own wisdom, and a great coach, a great teacher will provide opportunity for us to express that and contribute to the collective wisdom. And I think that begins when they model for us, that they are fallible, that we are humans, and telling stories is one of the small ways that we can bring back humanity into our businesses. So when you think back on this year, maybe there are a handful of smaller stories, maybe it's one longer novel, or a series of volumes. What unfolded for you this year, that if you told that story, to your customers, and clients would invite them to be in a deeper relationship with you. You don't need to make an ask. You don't need to sell a thing. What would happen if you just expressed what the last year had been like for you? How would that make them feel? How would it make you feel? So I'm gonna leave you with that question. If you want to practice sharing your story, and having it witnessed, I would love I would love to read what unfolded for you this year. And maybe you've written a blog post or something on Instagram, or you made a video on YouTube, talking about what this the story of this year. And if you've done that, please share it with me. I would love to read those and amplify those stories. And like I said, I'm going to share a couple of stories in the show notes that I think really highlight how we can talk about what's happened for us in a particular moment, and really create a point of tenderness between another human See you soon. Thanks for listening to this is Jenne Alexis, I hope you enjoyed what you heard on today's show. As always, it means the world to me when you share this content. So if there was something that got you thinking or made you curious, I'd love to know. Send me a note as this is Jennie alexis.com or over on Instagram at this is Jennie Alexis. If you enjoyed today's episode, another way you can show your appreciation is by leaving a review on iTunes. And if there's a person in your life who could benefit from this conversation, please share this episode with them. Thank you so much for being here. I can't wait to do it all again soon.