In this episode, our guest discusses the transformative impact of personalized color swatches, versatile wardrobes, and confident first impressions. From virtual meetings to creating a personal brand, our guest shares valuable insights on the significance of appearance and the influence of clothing choices on mood and confidence.

Guest Bio:

Tessa Gray is a renowned fashion expert with a background in styling and fashion from Paris. With a strong focus on personalized style, she empowers individuals to embrace their unique identity through wardrobe choices. Tessa's expertise extends to men and women, and her work emphasizes the impact of clothing on confidence and professionalism.

Key Points:

- Importance of personalized color swatches and versatile wardrobes (02:15)

- Impact of first impressions during virtual meetings (11:30)

- Significance of dressing for success and personal branding (18:45)

- Integrating clothing choices into business branding (25:10)

- Simplifying wardrobe choices for confidence and mood enhancement (33:55)

Main Quote:

"Dressing should reflect your personality and can be integrated into business branding for marketing."

Links:

Attend Tessa Gray's free webinar ... https://tessagraydesign.systeme.io/webinar

Welcome everybody to The One Small Change. I am really

excited today that you joined me for this journey of exploration and

transformation. I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring almost

30 years of entrepreneurial experience and a passion

for discovering growth through the power of seemingly small change.

So I'm so excited that you're following me and joining me today for

this inspiration. And today we are gonna be

talking to Tessa Gray. Tessa,

welcome. Welcome. Well, oh, thank you, Yvonne. I'm

so excited to be here One I'm really honored that you invited me to be

on your podcast. I can't wait to have a chat with you.

Well, you know, for those to be perfectly honest, Tessa

and I have done a couple of things together. And one of the things that

I loved is, you know, is that she gave

me some information that I could use almost immediately.

So, you know, we spend our lives on Zoom, so why

not look the best that we can? So, Tessa, tell us, you know, a little

bit about your you know, what you're gonna talk about and One what your story

is, why you do what you do. Well, I

suppose the reason I do what I do is because I was that

timid child that wouldn't go to a party unless she had a pretty dress to

wear, and I got McCoy to make them for me.

And fast forward, I

know. It's 5 or 6 years. She was shopping and she couldn't make up her

mind what to what just to One, and there's obviously some

discussion. One she bet she said, which one, Tessa? And I said, that one, mommy.

And that was the one that she bought, and she got more compliments in that

dress than any other she'd ever bought. So she actually

then set decided to send me to Paris where I learnt,

tailoring and haute couture. And it was really when I came back from

Paris, it was people who say to me, how do you manage to look like

a $1,000,000 even in a pair of jeans? So I learned

the style, how to style out The, and how to look really, really

natural. And so I've dressed women

for years, in all sorts of ways. But about

4 years ago when in lockdown, I realized that people

were showing up on Zoom looking terrible in

their front rooms or their living rooms, And it was such a mess. And what

they didn't realize is that it takes

less than a second for somebody to make up their mind, whether they're

going to do business with you, ask a question, decide to meet One, or even

date you. That's amazing. I mean, a

second is what? What? Like a blue Grandmother takes one

second to say, and that the research was a naught 0.3

of a second. Oh my god. So

so even when we don't even when we think we've got plenty of time, we

don't. People have already started making making opinions about

us. Yeah. And and it's all based on,

it's in our DNA. It's fight or flight. It goes

back to the thing that that visually, we process things

much more quickly than, with what

we hear and what we smell and everything like that. That is the fastest

processing that we have, and it's basically it's like,

okay. Is this friend or foe?

Do I want to find out more? The

and, you know, the other thing I think is,

you know, when you I could be wrong, so you can correct me.

But if you're in the wild, in the in our natural

habitat, you have a second to kinda get into

people's space. When you're in Zoom, it's like,

boom, you're there. You know? So it it's The

so it speeds up I think it speeds up that reaction even more because

you it's not gradual. It's like, you know, one minute you're the

you're not there, and the next second you are. So people's you know, you

come on and people are like, who is that? What is that kind of

reaction? Yeah. And I think that's really true. And one of

the things that I noticed One I still notice is

that people will come on sort of looking

every day, and their pictures on

social media like LinkedIn or The headshots on Zoom

it's quite often a really beautiful picture that was taken at a wedding

or by photographer. And it really doesn't match

the person that you're looking at. Mhmm. So you've you

researched them on, LinkedIn,

and suddenly The show up looking quite different. And that's

apparently, it's called cognitive dissonance. So it's basically

you're expecting one thing and you're getting another. And so immediately,

The, The the way of building rapport, like the

trust is kind of broken. And you've got to

and and what they what they found in this research is

that if that first impression isn't favorable,

it takes 18, 30 minute meetings or

9 hours to undo it. And

and I think, you know, the other part to that is that it's taking

people longer anyway. I mean, in terms of marketing, it used to

take, like, 7 touches. Now it takes 12. So, you

know, undoing is so much harder. Do you

know? And, you know, one of the things that you said that I thought

was interesting, and this is, again, marketing, is

that, you know, the picture that you put up on LinkedIn should

make sense with what it is that you're doing. So if your

LinkedIn picture is of you surfing

One you're a financial adviser or, you know, you're a

business person, that's a disconnect as well. So

you're getting all these visual signals, not only, you know,

your face and how you're dressed, but what you're doing and, you know, and and

the thing that you're putting out there. So you're not making that, you know,

client's trust journey very easy. You're making them really

work hard to get to like you.

I think so. I mean, I think it I think it's okay to put

surfing is, like, I suppose, this is what I was doing on the

weekend, something like that, but not have it as a profile picture.

Right. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And and the other thing is that,

I'm I'm and I remember not going on a on a

retreat, and I've spoken The some this woman on the phone. She was a friend

of a friend of mine, and her picture

was beautiful. It she had sort of straightened hair, and she looked

amazing. And I walked into the room One she

had a massive curls, and it sort of looked as though she'd been dragged dragged

through her edge backwards because that's the way her hair was. And it was

such a disconnect for me, and it

did take a while for me to actually

connect with with with who I thought she was was

in a funny sort of way. It sounds crackers One and it's but

it's it's really true. And also The other thing is it's about showing

up

dressed for, your lifestyle. One and if so for

instance, I, I was

doing a retreat with them, and my friend came over from America. She

arrived day late because she goes standby because her husband was a

pilot. And we, so we

were she wanted to go to Glastonbury. So we got up at 5 o'clock

in the morning to climb to the top of the tour at see the

sunrise at 6. And then we went all around

Glastonbury, and then we stopped off to see my aunt and

uncle on the way to the retreat. And

my cousin, who I haven't seen for a while, happened to be there. So we

were there a lot longer than we meant to, and I sat with my uncle

for about an hour. So it meant we were late leaving. And

because it's close to Stonehenge, we hit terrific traffic.

And we were meant to be in at the hotel of 6. And so our

phone said we're going to be late, and we arrived about 7.

And we were in jeans and t shirts. We'd actually changed our

shirts at my godmother's at my aunt's, but we we were still

in jeans and trainers One and kind

of walked in. And on a Sunday, I said to

everybody, I said, well, if I showed up beautifully made

up and in a dress, you'd have thought, oh, for

goodness sake, she spent at least an hour getting ready. Why is she so

late? But the fact that I walked in in jeans

and, trainers, it was obvious we just it it

our clothes told our story in the correct way.

Okay. So it wasn't we weren't hiding for what we've been doing.

So we we we look fine, but it you know, and I think and the

other said, now I get what you mean. Is it yeah. If you turned

up looking amazing One undress and everything, we'd just thought, oh, for goodness

sake. Can I, can I just go back just a minute?

Because I think, you know, this is a conversation

that we had earlier before the interview is that, you know,

a lot of times people don't if they're not aware of the the impact,

the way they look and present themselves has

because they, you know, because they

think The think of it as being kind of vague maybe or

superficial. I mean, I think maybe that's what it's

about. So I wanna be very clear that

you're not talking about, you know, putting

on a ton of lacquer or being

artificial. You're talking about presenting yourself in a way

that's in alignment with who you actually

are and looking the best the way you

the way you are and the way you're comfortable. You know, it's not

creating a false persona. That's not what you're talking about at

all. So can you talk about that a little bit? Because, you know, some people

are more casual, some people are more, you know,

you know, depending on the environment and stuff they're in, you know,

they're more this or more that. I mean, I know one of the things, you

know, when I was in corporate, I, you know, I had suits.

Right? And then when I came out of corporate, I was like, I, you

know, I don't wanna have to do this again. And though although I still

stuck with kind of The, you know, having 3 pieces,

it was a lot looser and more comfortable. And I wore longer cardigan

sweaters and stuff like that because I felt

comfortable that way. Right. So it wasn't

about, it wasn't about,

trying to make people think that I was somebody that I wasn't.

You know? I mean, I remember as a kid, I said to McCoy my mother

said to me, you know, Yvonne, if you would dress up some, you know, you

would attract a nice boy. And I said, mom, if they love me if he

loves me in my jeans, he's gonna love me when I get dressed. You know?

So it's not about false advertising. So I said, tell us

more about that, and then I went on. So tell us more about that,

the feeling people have that this is superficial or, you know, not

important. Well, I think I think one of the things, and that

probably, is really super

important to to me is that my mom was an athlete and a skier, and

she is a real tomboy. So she hated getting dressed

dressing up One clothes. So, basically, I grew up,

but she used to dress us. And, and

I think it's about you have to be really comfortable with your clothes

and with your look. Because if you're not, if you

don't feel good in your clothes, you won't look good in your clothes. You won't

look as good as you could do. And one of the big

mistakes people make is they buy things because the sales

assistant or shop assistant says it looks amazing,

or the stylist that they've had from the shop One they've spent a

huge amount of One. And they probably do look really good in the clothes,

but their clothes are not them. They don't reflect The personality.

And one of the things that we that your clothes can

do is they reflect your personality as who

you are, what you represent, One,

and and from business point of view, what you offer in your business.

So for me, I'm kind of like my

I have a my my personality is sort of

like, sort of I've got this

EuroChic, which is from Paris, and then I've got the casual,

like The athletic size. So I'm quite happy to turn

up in looking like that. And so I can actually make myself look really

good in a pair of jeans or dressed up

to the to I mean, when I was riding as a jockey,

I was chatting up a humble by somebody who didn't recognize me.

He didn't realize who I was, so I didn't recognize you

without your hat Yvonne. But and I think it's about being

comfortable with your look and having your so

that your clothes make you feel good. Because if your clothes don't make you feel

good, you don't perform as well. And that's another

thing I love for my mom because she was an Olympic skier, is you have

your competition clothes. And when you put them on, you go in the

zone. And that's what really I help my clients with for those

Zoom meetings. You don't need loads of different outfits. We

just choose the best ones, the best colors to go with your

background, and they'll actually tell the right story about you

so that when you show up on Zoom, you pop on camera,

you instantly build rapport, and people want to find out more.

So, I'm just gonna I you know, you said you said a lot

of stuff. Let me see if I can unpack a little bit of it.

So one is that it's really important to feel comfortable in

your clothes. And, you know, and and so for those

of us, you know, one of the things that, you know, I learned

as, so people have heard me say this that I weighed a

lot. I still weigh a lot. But one of the things that was really important

to me was to stop shopping by looking to

buy something that was a certain size One instead

buy it by how it actually fit. Because,

you know, manufacturers have all kinds of different things, and and it

was like I needed you know, one of the things that I

liked was I kinda like things that are a little bit flowy because they

have movement to The. You know? And I can I can move and stuff

like that? But I know that I had a, I had a, an

outfit once that I really liked, that I could

wear. It, it was sleeveless, but I could also wear a shirt with it.

And when I wore a white a tan shirt with

it, which for some I went through like this beige period, which

apparently is like the worst color I could wear. When I

when I when I when I would wear the beige

shirt, people would say to me, are you okay? Do you feel

okay? Do you know? And when I wore the white shirt, they would be, you

look really good. And I would be like, well, wait. I have on the same

outfit. I feel like, you know, what is the difference? So it really does

impact the way people see

you, you know, because of the way it, you know. And then the

other thing is I like what you said about having your competition

close. I think I actually do that.

I have certain things it's like, when when I really

wanna pop, I wear red. You know, it's

like, yes, this is, you know,

it gives me this like fiery feeling, you know, like I'm

on fire, you know? And so I think it's I think we

all have those things, but it's kind of being conscious of

it so that we can repeat it. And I think the

other part of that is once you're aware of that or I should say to

you, talk about how One you're aware The it

simplifies, you know, your wardrobe,

buying clothes, you know, the results that

you get? Well, it, it

means you don't need as many clothes because one of the things that if you

get if you I'm just putting this on to just to give you a little

bit of a difference. So how you can quickly change your look.

And, you don't need a lot of clothes. It, once

you know what colors work for you and you have your own personalized,

color swatch, which is what I do. I don't put people in

seasons. You get your own personalized one. Basically, it makes

shopping so easy because you can walk into a shop, scan it,

and if there's nothing that's the right color, you just walk out.

Because The as as you've just said, if you buy the wrong color

One against your face, it can make you look 25 years older, sick and ill.

It really can. It looks horrible. And sick One ill. It really

can. It looks horrible. And it and it doesn't really make you feel good, but

when you get the right colors, they make you pop. And

that immediately uplifts your mood and your confidence, and so

people buy that. So it it shortens your shopping

time. Knowing

how to buy clothes that that platform fits you One

how to how to shop for your shape. That's the other

thing. And then once you've got the clothes the colors

all the colors that work for you, you can

I show my clients to create wardrobes, like,

have One brand of plants? She said, I've hardly got any close to her.

Will you come over and wave your magic wand? We didn't buy she didn't buy

anything new. Actually, she made she bought a jacket. That was

it. She yes. I had to go and see the The. And she had we

got rid of some of her clothes, and she had about

15 new different outfits to wear because I showed her how to mix

and match her clothes so she One how to create

different looks, using her separates or whatever.

And suddenly she had a whole range of outfits that she never

thought she had. So, you know, the thing I

the thing that I think, so once you've you've

got kind of almost your signature style and signature

colors, people recognize you. They,

you know, they see something and they go, oh, you know, they they have a

certain expectation. So it makes it simpler. And, you know,

this sounds as a productivity person, it means you're spending a

whole lot less time fiddling about what you're gonna

wear. Yeah. I mean, I have One client one client. She said to

me, I used to expect go into a shop One spend 2 and a half

hours and come out with something that I thought might do.

Now I just walk in and walk straight out with what I want. It's made

shopping so much easier. Well, just The other thing sorry. I

was gonna say, doesn't it make getting dressed in the morning easier? Because everything that's

in your closet is right. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. You do.

You you don't you don't just grab something and then and put it

on. I mean, I remember going to, One event where where I

paid it with some sort of social media thing. And the

people the woman giving it, she was an marketing director of a big

company in our in our area. And we went around and said what

we did. It got to me because I was last. And she said,

if I'd known you were coming out, I'd warned something else.

And I thought that was actually so disrespectful for a

for herself and also for everybody else in the room

because they'd all dressed up One she just grabbed the first thing that

came out of her closet. It was pale blue shirt. One wasn't even

very nice and didn't look that good on that. I and but to actually say

that into a in front of 12 people who paid, goodness

knows what, for her advice, I just thought was kind of Change,

really. So I do I just wanna recap a couple of

things. And, so

what is it that you want people to take away, and what is

it you know, a couple of things that people can start doing immediately?

I think the first thing is first impressions count, you never know who

you're Yvonne meet.

And your clothes should make you feel good. So if something doesn't make

you feel good, then put it

aside and either sell it or give it away

or ask somebody why it doesn't work

because, then you won't make the same mistake again. So that's

one thing. And your class shouldn't make should be One,

and they should make you feel good. And I think that's the most important

thing, and they should be aligned to what you're doing. So I think the most

important thing that I could I could tell people is,

particularly on Zoom, is what my clients

one of my clients says. She said I've got it pinned on my laptop, she

said, because when I'm I help people look good on Zoom.

It's her face space. So her

hair's brushed. Her face is done, so

she's she's looking good. She's on because sometimes in

the light, you have to wear a bit more makeup so that you don't look

so ill and drained. Because if you've got lights, the bright

light will actually make you look much paler. So extra

makeup helps you lift you. And

then space is the area that you're sitting in and what you've got behind

you because you don't want distractions behind you.

You do not want a messy background. You want a background

that so that that is not that busy so that

people concentrating on what you're saying One not what they're looking

at. So if I if you

were gonna give one hint about tomorrow

morning, when somebody goes into their closet,

what would you say would be

no. Let let me leave that to a little bit late. Tell me about your

freebie. Tell me about your gift first. Well, I've I

I run I have a webinar which is coming up, which

when I Can I just stop you one second? Do you do that regularly.

Right? So Yeah. I do that regularly. Yeah.

But but with it, what I'm going to give for as a special gift for

everybody that's on the who's on this, who signs up for the

webinar. When they sign up,

what we're going to do is we'll give you I'm going to do a special

makeup class for Zoom, which will be

after the webinar. You could once they've come to the webinar, and then they get

they get an invitation to a makeup class to show you how

to make yourself up for for Zoom because,

it really helps when you've got evening

meetings or your lighting or something. You just need a little bit

of makeup just just to highlight it, just to

you know, if you don't wear a lot of makeup, it doesn't matter, but we

can show you how to do the lighting as well so that it looks as

though you you are. But a little bit really, really helps.

So the other thing I wanna tell people is that you work with men as

well as as One, because we've been talking kinda like the girls.

Yeah. You know? But I I've talked to you before, and I know that you've

talked you've helped guys with the way they dress and stuff. And,

you know, the advice that you give on Zoom, whether guys are gonna wear some

makeup or not, you know, the other lighting

advice and stuff is is still for anybody

who's who's interested. Yeah. So okay.

So, let me just put

in, you know, the advertisement as it were,

which is basically make sure that you subscribe and follow and share

because we're trying to, you know, grow our audience and bring, you

know, grow a vibrant community that really is,

helping you grow One we Yvonne grow connection and stuff.

So be sure you do that. You're gonna find the link for this

free for the webinar and the link, that you need to

do so The you can get a hold of Tessa. Because if you

if you've got something important coming up, you may wanna book a call and

not wait for the webinar. We believe in taking action.

So we wanna make sure you do that. So the question that I was going

to ask you before was,

if we were walking into

our closet tomorrow One we had some some place, something important

that we wanted to do, or we just wanted to put our best foot forward

for whatever reason. What would be the one thing that you would say to

maybe say to yourself so that we would stop and consider,

you know, how we look? You're dressing

for what you're doing, who you're meeting,

and the outcome that you want. So

it's a question so this is quite a difficult question to

answer that because it's about think you're about thinking, okay.

So or what's my day going to be? And what The

what's what piece of toggling is going to last me all the way through

the day and get me through all the meetings I've got or One it

is you're doing. But from what you said to me, the thing that I'm taking

away is what am I what what are you know, having all those

things, taking all those things into consideration, what can I pick that's

gonna give me the highest energy level? You know, make me feel

the best. I mean, I I think we already Pick a

vibrant color that makes you feel good and wear it against your face.

It's your what you're wearing against your face.

Is the things that makes you pop on camera. It doesn't matter so much what

you wear down below. So pick something

that a vibrant color that makes you feel good One you know,

you look good in. Okay. So here's a fun

question for you before we stop. When was the last

time you did something for the first time That you

did something new.

Well, I suppose running a webinar. That was, yeah,

that was yeah. I haven't done

that before. So that was The was in January. I did that in January.

And you know what? When you do and and here's, I think, the thing, doing

something new, I think, first of all, you have to get out of your

comfort zone. Right? And it puts you into a

learning space because you're doing something The you're learning as you go along.

So it really expands expands who you are

and what you can do and how many people you can impact. Even

if you're doing something for fun, it gives you a way to

connect with other people. So, Tessa, thank you so

much. You know, we we've talked before and

you've had an impact on, on me, in terms

of thinking about

taking some of the ideas that maybe I kinda knew, but kind of putting in

perspective and show me how important it actually is The it shouldn't be

an afterthought. Do you know? That it should be,

but it should feel comfortable. When you find your style, I think you

feel comfortable One you can focus on other things and on other

people. I think that's the other part. You're not go you're not sitting there

going, I wonder what they're thinking about me. I wonder if I'm looking okay. I

One you know, you can spend your time focusing on other people because you

feel good in your own skin. And I think that has a lot to do

with your, you know, your authenticity. And if if part of that

is, you know, for me, having purple hair would never work.

But if that's what what your message is One the way you wanna

be, then go for it, you know, if you can feel comfortable like

that. Well, absolutely. Because that's a reflection of your your personality.

You're an extrovert. So if you're an extrovert, dress like One. If you're,

a romantic dress like One, you can wear romantic clothes like

frills and things like that. If you're dramatic, you want to

make a dramatic entrance, dress

in in dramatic colors and clothes. One the other the

other thing that I think I'd really love to say is,

and One I do this with quite a lot of my clients, is that their

business branding, if they're choosing colors, I will say choose

colors that work for you to wear. Because then when you walk into a room

or when you show up wearing your branding clothes, that is a really

good, integral part of

your marketing because people remember the colors.

And they associate them with you. They associate those colors with

you. Those are wonderful last words. So everybody,

this is Tessa Gray. Reach out to her. And I Yvonne

just remind you The change can be simple, but it isn't always easy.

And that's because it requires courage, resilience, and a willingness

to be uncomfortable. So join me again for the One small change as

we embark on a journey of bold and innovative possibilities.

And I can't wait to talk to you next time. Stay curious. Say

bye. Bye. Thank you so much for having me. That has been

amazing. Thank you. Thank you.