What if focus isn’t about trying harder, and intention isn’t about forcing outcomes?

In this episode of the Emberwing Collective Podcast, Kim Beer and Vicki Jurica explore focus and intention through nervous system regulation, mindfulness, Gestalt principles, and lived experience. They discuss why safety and settling are prerequisites for clarity, how ritual and repetition build focus over time, and why animals and nature can act as allies when our systems are overwhelmed.

This is a grounded, honest conversation about applied consciousness, not spiritual bypassing or hustle culture. If you struggle with meditation, feel scattered by modern life, or want a more embodied approach to intention, this episode is for you.

✨ Topics include:

• Focus vs intention

• Nervous system safety and regulation

• Mindfulness and meditation as practice, not performance

• Gestalt contact and authority

• Candle rituals and symbolic anchors

• Learning from dogs, horses, and nature

Welcome to the Emberwing Collective.

I'm Kim Beer.

And I'm Vicki Jericha.

Yay.

So, Vicki, you and I have had an interesting journey in being able to get this episode actually recorded.

And you were just mentioning the irony of it being about focus and intention as living magic.

And we have definitely had to do some major physical spell work to get technology and timing and the fact that I am totally unfocused.

And, yeah, that kind of brings the intention back into what is up for this particular episode.

I love it when I glance at a clock and I see that angel number, the repetitive number.

I don't know.

Do you have a favorite angel number time that you see?

Not particularly, but I always smile when I see 420, so.

420.

I love it.

So I'll glance over and it's 4:20.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I. I like 420 too.

I. I like living a 420 life.

Yes.

So I think it's great that it.

It will connect to my humor.

You know, like, I'm a, I don't know, teenager, and I get a giggle out of it, so that's always sweet.

And I.

It's.

It.

Right.

It grounds you right into the present.

Moment to whatever it is that.

So I always feel like it's a little nod from the universe or from my spiritual guides or from my ancestors or all of the above, my subconscious.

It's kind of like everybody got on the same page and said, oh, let's all notice that at exactly the same time.

So.

And it's a hit.

It's a wonderful hit.

And I know that there's a lot of people that really have a lot of faith in those angel numbers.

But I. I agree.

Any repetitive number that you see, as I always just look at men as little winks.

Yep.

The winx.

I see you.

And.

And here's just a reminder that there is this connection.

Right?

It's a.

It's that connection.

Well, in.

To kind of tie it in with our topic today.

When you see that number, you're instantaneously focused.

Right.

And it.

So it's a way to take all of your energy, whatever your thoughts were, and just circle it in and tie it in directly to that.

And for a second, you are extremely focused.

And that's kind of what our conversation's all about today is.

Is reigning in the chaos and bringing your focus in nice and tight so that when you set your intention on something, it's achievable.

Right.

So I think let's start by defining focus and intention because they're.

They have a little bit of a difference in how they feel.

And then intention is the direction of the energy once the field is chosen.

So intention is like the pull of the magnet to where you want to go to or you stepping your feet on the path if you want to look at it as more of something with a choice.

So in focus is the narrowing, and intention is the actual walking.

I would agree with that.

And I think as we, you know, go about and talk, we talk the fractured energy of.

Of like, everything that's going on, like today's schedule and how crazy it's been.

Right.

And having to really work with our nervous systems.

Cause I could feel myself getting elevated when we were starting to have some struggles.

And.

And I'm thinking about this and I'm thinking about that, and none of that is helpful when building, you know, focus and then setting the intention to get something done.

Yeah, there's all those little distractions that pull you out of focus.

Right.

If focus is narrowing the field, there's a million little things on the side of the road that are saying, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.

And yeah, it's like driving and trying to read the.

The big billboards as you go past them and all the little signs on the highways.

Yeah.

Drive through Kansas sometime and see if you can completely keep your eyes on the road.

Kansas.

I think of all of the places that I drive, and I guess I drive that regularly, and so do you across I 70.

The number of little things on the side of the road that will drag your attention off of the road, but of your narrowed focus are multitude.

So, yeah, as you're driving the next time, recognize that looking at the road is what focuses.

And intention is you directionally putting your foot on the gas.

And then you have all of that fractured stuff all around you that pulls you out of both of those fields, causes you to slow down and also lose complete focus on the road.

So another thing I want to bring up here before we dive further into this subject is that this episode when we talk about living magic and focus and intention as part of that.

One of the things that I, I personally believe in, and I think Vicki is very much in alignment with this, is that there's a science behind what many times we label as magic.

And it's applied consciousness.

Right.

And I can add a mystical level to that as well.

But it's also this deeply scientific subconscious pull on certain parts of my actual physical anatomy in my brain that bring that focus and attention in intention, in it's attention as well, I guess.

Focus, intention and attention.

So it brings it all into kind of very much into my field and into the moment.

And yes, I love to say there's a magical aspect to that, but I also completely understand there's a biological scientific foundation underneath it that is important to remember because we tend to devalue magic where we can value science.

So make sure you don't devalue your magic by detaching it from what science tells us is the foundation underneath it.

I guess is my point with that little soiree into that.

But yeah, what about mindfulness in your nervous system when it comes to focus and intention?

Wow.

Well, you have to be mindful.

Absolutely right.

And mindful in the sense of grounding your energy and becoming aware of your thoughts in many ways.

So not just this is my intention is to do this or that or whatever, but then understanding and paying attention to the thoughts around that.

Is there a belief that comes up around it?

And also looking at your energy fields, are they high, are they scattered?

And being able to pull that all in like focus begins with settling, settling your system and bringing it down to a state of present awareness.

And mindfulness does that beautifully by, by having you just do a really quick check in on your thoughts, your emotions, your, your energy and any body sensations that are, you know, talking to you when you are getting ready to do this and drawing in your energy.

So I love mindfulness for it.

I think mindfulness, a meditation part of mindfulness is super helpful for me.

I know in developing the brain or the mind, in learning how to focus.

Right.

So in meditation you're quieting the thoughts or you're ignoring the thoughts and the body sensations and you're just sitting in, in calmness or stillness.

That's hard to do.

It is, it's a practice, it's hardest to ignore as the signs along i70.

Exactly, exactly.

And so having a meditation practice within your mindfulness practice is really helpful in being able to develop that Muscle.

Okay, so there's the science of it, right?

Yeah.

You are developing that repetitive ability to say, oh, there's a sign now.

I'm coming back to the road.

Oh, there's another coming back to the road.

And that repeatedly practice of saying, I'm going to ignore all the distractions and draw in my focus.

Mindfulness, to me does that beautifully.

It helps support that practice of drawing in the focus.

And you have.

I've seen the COVID of a book mock up with the word settle on it.

That has a dog as well.

Yes.

How does that associate for you?

Because I know that's an important part of the work that you do is partnering with.

With the canines of the world.

Oh, my gosh.

You know, so dogs live in the present moment.

Right.

They don't get trapped up in what was or thinking about the future.

And when you are focusing, that is the present moment, settling down and sitting in the presence of now.

And for me, the word subtle.

Okay, so in.

In dog training, subtle is the cue to come to focused awareness.

Yeah, Right.

They can be standing, they can be laying down, they can be whatever, but they are aware and present to what's going on around them without really engaging in it.

All the distractions around them, they're ignoring and they're just in the moment.

And I love that because I think when we hit that settle, when humans hit that same spot where we are in relaxed awareness, that is mindfulness in its truest form.

And that's the space, energetically and mindfully, that you need to be in to really draw in the focus and decide on the direction with your intention.

I co wrote a book with a dog trainer and did a video with Charlie Treyer, who is one of the developers of a breed whose.

The name of the breed I don't care for, but they're really cool dogs.

They're called hang and tree cow dogs and they work on ranches.

And the breed was specifically developed to help gather cattle out where you have like a singular cowboy and they go out and gather the cows and bring them to the cowboy and they.

It's a true partnership.

And it's one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed in my life is this singular cowboy and two dogs bringing 800 heifers up to the truck where I'm filming.

But in his training, he used the word there and whenever it was, he wanted the dog to be Safe and ready for the next step in whatever was going on.

And that attention, focused, awareness.

But in a neutral, like the neutral gear, that is when he would say there is that similar to what settle means in your vocabulary is that kind of you're in neutral and you're focused, you have awareness of what's going on, you're looking for the next thing, but you also are in neutral.

You haven't shifted into a gear yet.

Right.

And so you are just present.

You are just present, present without very aware of what's going on around you.

Right.

But there's no charge to the moment.

Yeah.

Right.

And it's a rest for those dogs because those dogs are like very keen.

They've gotta pay attention to exactly what's going on around.

And when he would give the their command, he would do it in a place where they were always completely safe.

Like they didn't have any.

There wasn't anything gonna come up behind them and.

And hurt them or.

I mean, he was very mindful about where he put the dogs on the.

Their command.

Sure.

And that applies to humans too, right?

Exactly.

If you are not safe, you are not focusing on setting any kind of intention.

Right.

Because you are in fight or flight.

Your focus is on what is getting yourself in.

Out of survival mode and into.

Yeah.

So you are focused on the survival.

And I think that's really an important point.

That's not necessarily on our point board over here that we're working from, but it's an important point to people who don't feel like they can meditate or that they can hit that subtle state.

It's an impossible state to reach if you do not have that there settle energy.

Right.

If you aren't able to be in a safe place to do it.

And by the way, safe place to do it doesn't necessarily mean you're, you know, like sitting in the middle of a highway going to get hit by a car.

That would be unsafe.

But the reality is, is that sometimes even in your home with all the doors locked in your comfortable bed, that environment still does not feel safe enough to allow the distractions to fall away so that you can focus and set an intention and a direction to go to.

And I think that when you look at this, if you're a. I.

For years, Vicki, I was a meditation failure.

Like, I could not do it.

I just couldn't.

But I think part of that was the fact that my nervous system was still very much redlined and I had to get it back to zero RPMs in order to be able to get into a state where I can do that.

So if you are a meditation dropout, so to speak, don't kick yourself for that.

Sit.

Sit with the thought of, I need to create that safety.

And start looking around for the things that you might need to put into place.

And sometimes that's a big question as well, that you can work with your therapist or with a coach or a counselor or a spiritual advisor.

Like, all of those are places to go when you can't find that energy yourself.

So protect yourself and get safe first.

And don't kick yourself if this is something that it's just like.

It feels like it's so out of reach.

I don't know.

What do you think about that?

I totally agree with that.

And I think that the important thing is, is that if you are struggling to get quiet and to settle, that is simply information for you and to hold that with compassion.

Go, okay, here's where I am right now.

So how can I care for myself right now in this moment?

And that, by the way, is focus.

It just shifted a little bit.

Maybe you were thinking outwardly, but understanding that that information that you're taking that information going, wow, I'm.

I'm just really not regulated.

Feeling safe.

Just hold yourself gently and use that information then to do some of that personal work that you talked about.

About what?

What is it gonna take for me to regulate my system and get in a place where I feel safe enough?

Then anytime I am struggling with meditation, by the way, it's a practice.

No one's good at it.

No one isn't.

Yeah.

No one isn't.

No one's perfect.

Yeah.

But it's just information.

That's all it is.

It's just information about yourself in this moment.

And to take that and use that information in a way that brings you safety or empowers you.

Absolutely.

And the empower part is kind of where I want to tie into what you were saying about mindfulness.

Like to talk about intention and focus from a gestalt perspective.

And first of all, the first thing I think you have to do from the gestalt perspective is you have to reclaim your authority to be able to oversee a state change.

If you're going to move from one state to another, if you're going to move into a focused state from a distracted state, you have to feel like you are capable of doing that and you have the authority to do it.

And that's where that safety zone can get really wonky.

And this is where I want to Bring in something else about the horses who I work with a lot horses and, and to a. I believe to a degree, dogs definitely do this as well.

You can borrow their innate ability to create that safe space.

Like you can borrow that from them.

You can borrow that Zen I am present in the moment state and learn from them how to embody that yourself by sitting in their presence and being with that state of energy.

Because it can help teach you how to find that in your own body.

Cause I find from, for myself and for the clients that I work with, if they've spent multiple decades in that red zone fight or flight area, they don't know how to find neutral.

Like they're stuck in a high gear and it feels like they're never going to find neutral.

They don't know how to kick it out of that gear.

And I think dogs, horses and nature are absolutely the hand that can go on the shift lever to help us find neutral when we can't find it on our own.

What do you think about that?

I totally, 100% agree.

Yeah.

First of all, you have to claim authority that you are able to make that shift change.

And if you can't make it on your own, it is totally okay to borrow it.

It is totally okay to borrow from another human, to borrow it from an animal, to borrow it from nature in general.

But once you kind of find that state, gestalt asks you to be in contact with whatever your focus or intention is like the focus you need to get in contact with it.

And contact in gestalt terms means it is.

And I'm going to read this directly from what I googled because I found this, an interesting definition for this.

It is about experiencing life fully physically.

So example, touching grass, touching the ground, and relationally by connecting with others while maintaining.

And this is the important part, because we all understand contact in that first part.

But the important part is maintaining a distinct sense of your self, which is that reclamation of the authority where I am guiding this.

I am not dependent upon the ground to settle me.

I am not dependent completely upon a relationship to settle me.

I have a distinct sense of self and how I am participating in this.

And I think that's an absolutely key gestalt term.

And it's an experiential thing.

Right.

You have to experience contact.

You can't just say the word, you have to experience it.

Yeah.

And I think that's an interesting maybe mind little flip for some people.

Right.

To me, that brings up the word ally.

Yeah.

In that dogs, horses, nature, they're all allies on your journey, but the sovereignty is you.

Right.

You are responsible for developing the skills to settle yourself, to rein in your focus.

And so, yeah, it makes me think of that where you can sit next to somebody and borrow their Zen, if you will.

Yeah.

But they're not going to shift your internal world.

You are responsible.

You are responsible.

You are responsible.

Yeah.

That's the.

It's the coherence and congruence of being in your own skin, in walking forward with focus and intention that is so important.

Right.

And there are practices that you can utilize to help get you into that space.

That is a symbol that has relevance, that anchors my focus and intention.

And it's just a simple reminder.

But believe me, that didn't happen overnight.

It just meant we were getting close to lunch.

Right, Right.

Yeah.

It's a different.

It's a different view at 59 than it was at 19.

It's a different view, you know, so again, like Vicki mentioned with the.

You have to practice on the meditation piece of things.

You have to support yourself in the process of learning how to hone your focus and intention by allowing yourself to understand the meaning and the symbolism.

Because that's how your subconscious, that's how your body communicates with you.

That's how all of those things come up for you.

Is.

That is.

That's kind of the.

It's the noticing act of noticing is the focus and intention, and it brings that state to you.

And the more that you practice that, the quicker you will become at it.

Just like in partnering with an animal to do any kind of thing like ride a horse, you have to build that cue in to say that when I shift my weight to my left stirrup, you're going to turn to the left.

It takes a while to build that partnership with something else.

It takes a while to build it with yourself.

But you have to understand the symbolism that goes along with it because it does make a difference.

And you know me, I love a good metaphor and a good symbol.

So.

Yeah, yeah.

So what about forcing?

What happens when we force intention?

Well, nothing really good.

True.

I agree with that.

And I think that.

So we talked a little bit about this on our last episode, but I do think there's times when people, like, guilt you for not being able to set your intentions and maintain them or to maintain your focus.

I think that there's a lot of shame for People who feel like they've failed at this, I, and you haven't, as, as we have, I hope, made abundantly clear it is a practice and that there are a lot of underlying reasons why you might not be able to do it perfectly or ever do it perfectly.

But there's a lot to understanding that forcing it is not the way that you go about it.

It's a much more subtle practice than that.

What are your thoughts around that?

I agree.

I think that energetically force or the push energy is not, it's not what we're going for here right now.

You know, it's really the opening and allowing that creates.

I guess when you are settled, it is hard to.

When you're neutral or you're settled, that doesn't align with force.

No, to me.

And so then you're out of congruence just automatically by forcing something or pushing for it really hard.

And yeah, so it, it sets up your whole system.

It just makes it off a little bit and the results aren't going to be what you want.

It's not going to feel, I don't think as good.

I don't know, I just.

It's hard.

And yet I hear you when you say our culture, boom, boom, boom, you've got to get this done.

You know, you're very much judged for it if you're not striving or pushing or any of that.

Well, and I think part of it is we've all fallen victim even though we know better, to the highlight reel, right?

So you get the, you know, the person who goes through a year long weight loss journey, you see the before picture and you see the after picture.

You don't see the 18 to 24 months in between there that were a struggle.

I think the highlight reel mentality really disconnects you from your true sense of success and connection to focus and intention.

And it, it definitely causes your nervous system to be on overdrive at all of the time because that a lot of the things that we look at are unattainable.

And now with AI coming in and doing so much work with like I'm a photographer and the things that people can do with filters, it creates an entirely illusionary existence.

And I spoke with somebody yesterday that she was telling me, she goes, I just need to learn how to live in reality.

And I'm like, you have to live in hard, cold reality.

I think that her pain point with the fact that reality looks really different in a social media setting than it does in your own home is problematic.

And especially when it comes to this kind of stuff because I think we're sold the bill of goods, that it's.

It's the press the play button and in 30 minutes you can make the entire change.

And the reality is nowhere near that.

And actually the actual reality has probably been augmented by, by AI and by a whole bunch of other things.

And what you're seeing is actually a completely unattainable goal.

So I do wanna turn.

Cause we're getting close to the end of this episode and I do wanna turn our attention to ways that I feel like we can share with people that will help them be able to develop that focus and intention state.

And for me, there's a couple of things that I do that I'll share.

One of those is candle burning.

Candles and fire and the flame flickering and all of that.

There's a decided benefit in having a candle present with you when you are looking at focus and intention.

It's really hard to notice all of the crazy signs on the highway when you have something next to you that you need to be tuned into.

So the candle does that in a smaller, more home safe way as long as you're not burning it in.

I don't know, creating a bonfire in your living room or something.

But candle burning is a really, a really great way to do that.

And I think that we, in our, in all of the cultures, in, in every human culture across this planet, I think lighting a candle and intention and focus are something that really go hand in hand.

And there's a psychology and a scientific kind of underpinning for why that works.

And then in addition to that ritual, like doing things that build the state that you want to be in.

And even if you suck at it at first, just keeping up with the ritual, because that's anything that we learn, we learn that way.

We are at heart, we are animals.

And all animals learn through repetition.

And they learned through feeling through a situation multiple times, sometimes in order to get to the place or state that they want to be in.

So I do think ritual is important.

So developing a candle burning ritual would be hand holding your way into that focus and intention.

And just to bring back my highway metaphor, my i70 metaphor.

It's very much like being at the wheel and focusing on the road.

So you're focusing on the candle and.

And then you're developing a ritual very similar to what you would do as going to work every day.

So if you travel the same route to Work every single day.

It's very much like a ritual.

You are able to do that without overthinking it.

And then that's when.

That's when all of the distractions can kind of.

The ones that don't matter can fall away and the ones that want to become present can become present with you.

I don't know.

That's.

I totally agree.

When I sit down at my desk to do work, I have a bowl.

And it has symbols of the elements of all five elements.

And I will literally touch into each one.

So feather for air, thoughts, a little tea, light candle.

So I also use candle magic.

And that represents my flame, my energy levels.

I have a seashell, which is the water or the river element within ember wings.

And then a little stick, a little twig.

And that is my physical body and the physical world around me through our root element.

And then I have a bison, a little pewter bison.

And that represents spirit to me.

Yeah.

And so I will touch into all of those.

I will light my candle and I will settle into myself.

And that is me letting the distractions float away and bringing in my focus.

I do that every single time.

And that is a neuropathway that I'm building by that repeated practice so that my body learns that when I hit the chair and I light my candle and I call in the elements over time, obviously.

But the emotional state is connected to the ritual that I am doing.

And that helps me hit into focus much faster.

Yes.

So you've done all of the things that we've talked about.

Just to summarize it.

You have created a safe space.

You have claimed your authority to be able to create a state change.

You have created a practice that brings you into that state change, where you create contact with that state change.

And you are able to move into that state change and with focus and intention.

So focus, you've narrowed it down to the road you've gone on.

You've taken the entrance ramp onto the highway.

And then intention.

You are directionally moving forward with your foot on the gas pedal and your hands at 10 and 2.

So I.

And that's.

That's the neuro pathway.

And again, I just want to rephrase.

You don't all start out that way.

Sometimes you're.

Sometimes the fricking highway is clogged and you can't find a way to get on it.

And you're driving on the shoulder for a minute.

And sometimes you are distracted by everything in your car.

Your phone is ringing.

You know the in check engine light comes on.

There's all the signs on the highway.

I mean, there's so much going on.

That's life, right?

And that's called life, right?

Yeah.

And sometimes you get a flat tire and have to pull over to the shoulder of the road or get off the highway and take care of whatever has come up and then you change your tire and you get back on the highway and you get back into the focus of what you're doing.

So there's a multitude involved in this and yet the practice over time, eventually, I know, you know from driving across Kansas multiple times a year that there's an eventual moment where it gets easier and you feel more confident in it and you feel more safe.

Safe in that situation.

And you are able to accomplish that drive with ease versus it being a nerve wracking mess to start off with.

Yeah, I, I think that's our final piece of advice for this episode is focus and intention.

Understand what they are and then for all that is holy, give yourself the allowance to not do it perfectly.

It's just a practice.

It's just a practice.

Yeah.

All right, guys, thank you for hanging out with us for today and we look forward to seeing you in our community.

Emberwingcollective.community if you'd like to check that out or I really recommend our brand new website, emberwingcollective.com go check out what we're all about and if you have any questions, reach out to one of us.

Our information is on that site and we hope to see you in the future.

And thanks again for hanging out.