Today, we're diving into the thrilling highs and lows of the business roller coaster. I'll guide you through the inevitable ups and downs of entrepreneurship and help you find the courage to keep going, even when it seems like “nothing is working”.

Here's what we cover:

• Understanding the Dunning-Kruger Effect: Why we often overestimate our abilities early on.
• The Five Stages of Business:
• Uninformed Optimism: The initial excitement and confidence.
• Informed Pessimism: Realizing the challenges ahead.
• Valley of Despair: The toughest phase, where many feel like quitting.
• Informed Optimism: Gaining traction and seeing early successes.
• Achievement: Reaching your goals, but with new challenges ahead.

I also share strategies to push through the tough times, emphasizing the importance of self-coaching, compassion, and persistence. Remember, every entrepreneur goes through these phases, and the only way to fail is to quit. So, let's embrace the journey and keep moving forward.

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You're listening to episode 52 of Burning Brightly,

riding the business roller coaster.

This is Burning Brightly, a podcast for Christian

moms who are feeling called to build a

business and share their light with the world.

I'm Bonnie Wiscombe, a life coach, mom, and

entrepreneur.

And I'm honored to be your guide as

you face this business building adventure, full of

highs, lows, and everything in between.

This is where we help each other find

the courage to shine.

Hey friends, today's episode is going to be

really fun because I'm going to teach you

all the highs and lows of riding the

business roller coaster and what that means, some

of the pitfalls that we encounter as we

start businesses, and what makes us want to

quit.

So there are very specific phases that we

go through when we build a business.

It's human nature.

You cannot escape them, I promise, because I've

built lots of businesses and it happens every

single time.

But knowing this information and doing some self

-coaching or getting coached by another coach will

help you push through the tough phases, but

it's really important that you understand what these

are.

Now, the first thing I want to teach

you is something called the Dunning-Kruger effect.

And this is something a business coach taught

me a while ago.

It is a psychological phenomenon where people believe

they are better at something than they actually

are.

And it's kind of the opposite of imposter

syndrome, but it actually comes up for a

lot of us when we first start a

business.

Most of us fall prey to this somewhere

in the beginning of business, sometimes not right

away because we realize, oh, there actually is

a lot to learn.

But very often, it is somewhere in those

beginning stages where you think, oh my gosh,

this is going to be so much fun.

I cannot wait.

So we begin this business journey, and this

Dunning-Kruger effect sets in.

We get certified as a coach, maybe, or

we get our first client, and we're like,

oh, yeah, I'm kind of competent in this.

This is going to be easy.

We start thinking that maybe we're just a

few steps away from success, and we start

waiting for the money to just roll in.

We hear everybody else's stories of immediate success

or pretty quick success, and we think, all

right, it's just a matter of time.

But the fact is that the difference between

a brand new coach and one with a

handful of clients is really just a few

months and a little bit of dumb luck.

So I'm not telling you this to make

you feel discouraged, but rather just to acknowledge

that there is always something we should be

learning, that even at the very beginning when

you're thinking, oh gosh, yeah, this is going

to be exciting, this is going to be

fun, to just remember that there is never

going to be a time in your business

that you're going to stop learning.

There's never going to be a time when

you know everything and when things are easy.

Again, this isn't meant to be discouragement, but

rather we're always learning and growing no matter

where we are.

So this also helps us realize that the

end of our journey, there really is no

end of the journey, but when we accomplish

the thing we're trying to accomplish, whatever money

we want to make or however many clients

we want to have, that we're going to

have more things to learn, more things to

improve upon, okay?

That's just a constant learning and growing process.

So what I like to do is acknowledge

that when one thing works in my business,

I celebrate it, but then I look at

it and I analyze the data immediately.

I'll ask myself, okay, what went well, what

didn't, what will I do different next time,

what else will I do if I try

something similar and I don't get the same

results, right?

Maybe I had a little success and I

tried again and all of a sudden the

results are different, to not let that get

me down, but just acknowledge, okay, I'm going

to have to maybe change things up.

Just kind of always assume you're a beginner,

but also have the confidence in your ability

to learn any new thing.

I know that's kind of a fine line

to walk, right?

Not fall prey to imposter syndrome, I'll never

figure this out, I can't do it, I'm

not good enough, but also not fall prey

to this Dunning-Kruger effect, right?

Where we're like, I'm good, yeah, I think

I got this.

Because the fact of the matter is, there's

always something new to learn.

So have confidence in your ability to learn

any new thing and acknowledge that the new

things will keep coming over and over and

over.

And that's what I love about entrepreneurship, honestly.

So let's go back to the rollercoaster of

business.

Where does this fall?

Well, it's right at the beginning, of course,

right?

When things are exciting and fun, when you

do a rollercoaster, nine times out of 10,

there is a big hill at the beginning,

right?

And you get to the top really, really

quickly because they want you to get your

adrenaline going, they want you to get really

excited.

If you've ever been on the Incredicoaster at

Disney's California Adventure, it has a really fun

start.

It's one of my favorite rollercoasters because it

shoots you at a high speed up that

first mountain, right?

There's no suspense, there's no, well, there's a

little suspense before you get started, but it

shoots you very rapidly up that hill.

And that's kind of like building a business.

We have an idea and boom, nothing can

stop us, right?

We're like on the computer researching all the

things.

And we're all of a sudden telling everybody

ideas are flowing.

Maybe we invest a little bit of money,

websites, logos, telling people, we're just on top

of the world with all the things that

are going right for this idea, right?

You just can't stop thinking about it.

But the rollercoaster of business contains more than

one step.

More than that, just initial excitement.

There are actually five steps of entrepreneurship.

I've read about this multiple places on the

internet, but the names of these stages I'm

taking from Alex Hermosi, how he refers to

them, because I think they're pretty brilliant.

But this first step, that first initial exciting

hill of the rollercoaster is called uninformed optimism

for obvious reasons, right?

We have no clue what we're doing and

we don't care.

It's a blast.

And we can hardly sleep with all the

ideas and all the excitement that's pumping through

our body.

Right here, that Dunning-Kruger effect is in

full force.

We have zero clue what it's going to

take to make this thing successful, but we

know we've got it and it's going to

be amazing and we can't wait, which is

so exciting, right?

It's meant to be that way.

Now we acknowledge that not every phase in

business is going to be like this, but

don't be mad at this stage.

It's really amazing and it's really fun.

It's the reason we start businesses, right?

Just like the early dating stage of a

relationship.

We have no clue how hard marriage is

going to be to keep going year after

year after year, but we don't care because

we're so giddy with the anticipation of seeing

this person again.

And that's how business is at the beginning.

And it's so fun.

So don't get angry at this stage when

you're just a little bit uninformed, just be

excited, write it out, but acknowledge that things

are going to change in a little bit.

So we're going to crest that hill of

uninformed optimism, and suddenly we're going to find

ourselves coasting down the other side.

And that is where we find stage two

called informed pessimism.

So we're uninformed, we're excited.

All of a sudden we start doing some

stuff.

It's a little bit harder than we expected.

The money's not just pouring right in.

The clients aren't magically materializing.

It's taking more time, maybe more money, more

brain power than we initially expected.

And the pessimism sets in a little bit,

right?

We're eyes wide open a little bit, a

little bit more open anyway.

And we're like, oh, dang, this is maybe

a little bit harder than I thought.

The excitement cools off.

And as we learn that this may be

going to take us a little bit longer

than we anticipated, not always as fun as

the beginning, which is okay.

That's okay.

But unfortunately, the roller coaster keeps dipping down

here to what we call stage three, or

what Alex Hormozy calls the valley of despair.

I love this name so much because it

feels just like that.

It feels terrible.

Everything is set up in your business for

success, and you're working your butt off, and

you're posting on social media nonstop, and you're

telling everyone, and you've seemingly done everything right.

And now your brain is like, but nothing

is working.

Why is nothing working?

You're not going to make it work.

Everything is broken, and you're a failure.

And you just want to sit and eat

your body weight and cookies.

It's the worst.

It's disheartening.

And frankly, the only thing that sounds good

in your business at that stage is to

bail, is to leave this business and start

something else.

Or to maybe quit the niche that you've

considered coaching on and start something new, or

maybe quit the marketing technique you're using and

start something new.

You keep thinking back to those good old

days of uninformed optimism.

It's got to be better than this, and

you want to just jump ship.

But here's the important thing.

When you're in that valley of despair and

you choose to do something else, guess where

you end up?

At the top of another roller coaster that

looks exactly the same with the exciting uninformed

optimism, and then the informed pessimism, and then

the valley of despair again.

There is no escaping it.

You have to push through because if you

don't, you're just going to keep hopping to

something new, keep chasing the high.

Again, this might not be a totally different

business.

It might just be a pivot in your

current business because you think it's going to

be better somewhere else.

And unfortunately, it's just not.

We have to push through that valley.

When you get into the valley of despair,

stop looking at all the other business ideas

or everyone else's niche and thinking, oh my

gosh, it's going to be so much better

over there.

Look how much money she's making.

Look at how successful he is over there.

I just need to change.

Now, I'm not saying we don't shift things

when things quote unquote aren't working.

We try something new.

We do a different webinar or a different

marketing tactic or we try a new social

media channel, but we do not make any

drastic decisions in the valley of despair because

our brain is like, eject, eject.

I want out.

But if you keep bailing, you never get

to move on up the hill again to

stage four, which is informed optimism.

So uninformed optimism, informed pessimism, that valley of

wants to bail from.

And then we go up to some informed

optimism.

And this is where it starts to get

fun again.

We start to see a little success.

Maybe we noticed that our message is resonating

with people.

We likely start to make some money here

and we start having some wins.

The excitement comes back in little by little

as we gain evidence that it is indeed

working.

And then finally, that last stage is that

of achievement where we accomplish what we set

out to do, whether that's, I don't know,

retire our husband or make an extra thousand

dollars a month, whatever your big goal is.

That's where we achieve the thing.

And remember, achievement is fun, but it's not

better than here.

It's just different.

We've achieved that goal.

But there are other hard things.

Right.

Once we've accomplished that goal, we'll have other

challenges.

We'll have to manage a team or we'll

have to make sure that we're regularly working

on our business.

Whereas right now in the valley of sorrow,

we're just eating our feelings and complaining to

anyone who listened.

OK, so acknowledge the achievement doesn't make it

better.

It's just a little bit easier to deal

with because our brain is like, oh, look,

there's evidence that what we're doing is working.

Now, here's the other important thing to know.

This roller coaster does not happen once, even

in the same business.

It happens over and over again, at least

in my business.

And I'm thinking it probably will in yours.

The good part is that the dips just

get smaller.

OK, so the highs are a little bit

tempered.

The lows are a little bit tempered.

The valley of despair is never quite as

miserable as the first time.

But this happens every time I launch a

program.

Every time I make a significant goal, I

see this happen over and over.

I personally have also started five different businesses.

So I've been on this roller coaster a

lot of times.

And I've seen this cycle happen in a

variety of industries.

It's not just coaching.

It's everywhere.

It's human nature.

It's going to happen no matter what.

So let's talk for just a minute about

this valley of despair.

How do we ensure that we do not

bail when the time comes and we find

ourselves here at the bottom?

Well, there are three main steps, OK?

The first one is awareness and acknowledgement.

That's where we are.

The second one is compassion and curiosity.

And the third one is coaching, coaching ourselves

or getting coached by someone else.

So that first one, the awareness is just

knowing that this exists.

So just listening to this is going to

teach you that this exists.

The acknowledgement part is knowing that you're in

it.

Once you're there, you have to be like,

oh, I remember Bonnie was talking about that

valley of despair.

I think that's what this is because I

feel like crap and I want to bail

and everything is failing.

So it's very easy to hear about this.

Not so easy to be inside that valley

of despair and feel like everything is failing.

But being aware of it reminds us that

we aren't failing and business.

Our business isn't broken, but this is just

normal.

This is expected.

Write it out and it will get better.

Number two, the compassion and the curiosity piece.

These are hallmarks of good coaching, right?

Being really compassionate, really curious about yourself or

the person you are coaching.

They're absolutely required to become a successful, happy,

fulfilled business owner.

You cannot blame yourself for all the things

that are going quote unquote wrong.

If you remember episode 48 with my friend,

Danny fake, where she talks about parts work,

this is where we're going to step into

that role of authentic self that she taught

us about.

The best friend that you can be to

yourself.

There's going to be many parts in your

brain doing different jobs.

Your authentic self is going to be the

one who's going to be in charge of

them all.

And the best friend to them all.

She's the big sister, right?

Who puts her arm around everybody around the

fear and the indecision and the imposter syndrome

and says, I see your suffering.

I get it.

And I know it's hard, but just stick

with me.

We'll pull through.

She's the one that everybody else looks up

to and goes, okay, if she's not panicked,

I won't panic.

We'll make it right.

That's the compassion piece.

The curiosity piece puts that authentic self in

the driver's seat.

And she gets curious, like, what's fear doing

here?

Why is she so freaked out about what's

happening here?

She is learning from those other parts in

the brain and trying to figure out where's

this coming from.

Do I want to keep allowing this imposter

syndrome or overwhelmed to stick around?

Is it benefiting me in any way?

It might be, but also I'm going to

keep in charge.

I'm going to keep hold of the wheel

and make sure that none of them run

us amok.

Finally, number three, get coaching.

Either do your own self coaching or get

coached by somebody else.

That looks like running that model, the one

I call the head, heart, hands model on

your thoughts and on your feelings.

Go back to episode 20 if you don't

know how to do a model.

But I like to start with the heart,

the emotion, because it's very often so much

easier to identify emotions than it is to

identify thoughts.

So what am I feeling?

What thought is causing this feeling?

Why am I thinking this?

What is this thought helping me do?

Because your brain always thinks thoughts for a

reason.

Do I want to stay here?

If not, how can I loosen the grip

that this thought has on me?

All right.

So those stages of business, that roller coaster

looks like this.

Uninformed optimism, number one.

Number two, informed pessimism.

Number three, that valley of despair.

This is where most people bail and try

to go find green grass somewhere else, but

they just find more of the same.

Number four, informed optimism, likely where you start

making money and have some success.

And then number five, achievement.

And again, you're not going to feel a

thousand times better over there.

Remember, because circumstances don't change our feelings, but

you will have some evidence that it's working.

So it does make it easier to get

through those future valleys of despair as long

as you keep going.

So step into that valley of despair and

all the other parts that come with building

a business.

It's so fun.

And if you manage your mind, it's totally

doable and enjoyable.

Even when you're feeling a little bit miserable,

you just get curious.

You just get compassionate.

You just pay attention and push your way

through it.

Just keep going because the only way to

fail is to quit.

Okay, friends, I'll talk to you next week.

Are you ready to start or grow your

dream business?

Click the link in the show notes to

download the free starter guide to building a

business or to schedule a free coaching call

with me.

And if you loved this episode, don't forget

to leave a review and share it with

a friend who might be feeling the call

to burn a little brighter.