Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever gone snow skiing before? Some people have great spatial and physical awareness. And, for them, skiing becomes a dream of freedom and fun. For others, however, snow skiing when you do not yet have full awareness can be quite frightening.
Now, if you have a parent or spouse who was told how to control their skis, and they have the spatial and physical awareness, skiing was easy for them. A few runs to get the full gist of when and how to control the force of gravity acting upon your body, and they were ready for more challenging slopes. For those of us who do not have that type of spatial and physical awareness, being introduced to the more difficult runs too soon can be a painful or terrifying experience.
Why mention that? Because, parents, you may have experiences with your spouse or child in which you have the spiritual knowledge or emotional skills to understand the forces acting on you and your family and handle those experiences completely differently than your spouse or child even though they have been exposed to the same set of current circumstances but whose past experiences (or nonexistent experiences) have not prepared them to handle the new experience well.
Another example, are those younger children who are allowed to participate in older children’s activities due to their parents’ involvement. The adults do not realize that they are setting the younger children up for attitudes of hubris since these younger children have the security of a new experience with mom or dad nearby while, when it is finally an age-appropriate activity, they have comparative few fears or concerns and often sit in judgment and pride toward other children their own age experiencing the situation for the first time - but those friends are without the security of their parents around. None of the kids really understand the experiential or emotional differences. And, unfortunately, it happens more than the adults realize. The set-up is for the adults’ convenience sake, but the offense to the other children judged by the advantaged ones is still very real.
Those are just two of uncountable examples of an imbalances or differences in experience, maturity, awareness, physical ability, and more. How do we five-minute families deal with these within our own families and communities?
First, we must remember the concept of 2 Peter 1: 5-8. We each have different measures of qualities that need to be refined and strengthened. “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if you possess these qualities and they are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Families, remember that not everyone knows what you know or can do what you do.
Second, don’t let age be your only gauge. I once heard an elderly woman say, “I am old, so listen to me” even though she had completely missed the point of what the younger (middle aged) man was saying. Elihu’s words in Job 32 to Job and his three friends immediately came to mind. He said, “I am young in years, while you are old; therefore I was timid and afraid to tell you what I know. I thought that age should speak and maturity should teach wisdom. But it is the spirit in a person—the breath from the Almighty—that gives anyone understanding. It is not only the old who are wise or the elderly who understand how to judge.” Now, please don’t mis-hear us. Be respectful of your elders, but elders, you need to also be respectful of those younger than you.
Third, slow down. Nothing can summarize that better than James 1:19, “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” We must take a moment and let God’s word be our guide, not our flesh.
Fourth, seek Godly counsel. Speak with a pastor, coach, mentor, or counselor if you or a loved one is struggling in some way - whether it is because you are struggling with the differences in how you see your situation or for some other reason. Proverbs 19:20 as well as many other verses advise us, to “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
Fifth, never forget to pray about the situation you find yourself in. Of course, that goes for everything since we are to pray without ceasing, but James 1:5 applies here especially, “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.”
Five minute families, we have the opportunity to strengthen our weaknesses and share our strengths when we realize our differences in abilities and work together for the glory of God. May you and your loved ones be blessed this week!
