Artwork for podcast Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler
Bridging Science and Spirit: Dr. Cochran on Therapy and Healing
8th August 2025 • Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler • Russell Newton
00:00:00 00:55:28

Share Episode

Transcripts

Speaker:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

2

:

there are two things

that make the body sick.

3

:

One is inflammation and the other is fear.

4

:

And fear frequently

precipitates inflammation.

5

:

And inflammation frequently

makes fear worse.

6

:

So they work together hand in hand.

7

:

when you're uncertain.

8

:

Ask yourself, what would

I do if I weren't afraid?

9

:

And then you'll know exactly what to do.

10

:

The important things for me and that I

teach people are one, have a gratitude

11

:

practice every single day, twice a day.

12

:

Go through what you're grateful for.

13

:

And it doesn't necessarily

have to be anything huge.

14

:

It can be your favorite

purple dinosaur socks.

15

:

Russell Newton: Hello listeners and

welcome back Our guest today is Dr.

16

:

Margaret Cochran and Dr.

17

:

Cochran, please introduce yourself.

18

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

19

:

Well, professionally, I'm Dr.

20

:

Margaret Cochran, AKA, the relationship

doctor across social media.

21

:

have degrees in experience in clinical

social work, clinical psychology, clinical

22

:

hypnosis, metaphysics law, traditional

psychology, transpersonal psychology, and

23

:

wildlife, rehabilitation of all things.

24

:

I've always

25

:

Russell Newton: Hi.

26

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

27

:

in medicine with physicians, so that

world is very comfortable to me and

28

:

my professional biases that you cannot

affect the body without affecting

29

:

the mind, and you cannot affect the

mind without affecting the body.

30

:

Russell Newton: And that

wraps it up for us today.

31

:

There's nothing there to talk about.

32

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

33

:

Just rattle that all off.

34

:

Yeah.

35

:

Russell Newton: Wow.

36

:

I should have asked for that ahead of

time so that I could, break those down.

37

:

Let's, let's start with,

wildlife rehabilitation.

38

:

Was that, what was that?

39

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

40

:

Yeah, wildlife rehabilitation.

41

:

when I lived in the Midwest, I lived

in a very rural community and, there

42

:

were, you get a lot of, road kill

and road injury kind of situations.

43

:

And so, some of us were, allowed

to by the Department of Wildlife,

44

:

take in the animals and help

rehab them and help them get well.

45

:

So I've raised skunks and

possums and foxes and snakes.

46

:

I've done a few raptor, birds,

allegedly cats, of course puppies.

47

:

probably some other ones I haven't thought

of, but I think skunks are my favorite.

48

:

Russell Newton: Really.

49

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

50

:

They are adorable.

51

:

They're so cute.

52

:

And they're, they are an imprint species,

so if you take care of them, you're

53

:

their mom as far as they're concerned.

54

:

So for a while I had all these little

tiny skunks following me everywhere

55

:

I went for fortunately, scent

glands don't come in until a little

56

:

later, so that's not too dangerous.

57

:

Russell Newton: was the next question.

58

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

59

:

sweet animals.

60

:

And actually, they can

be box trains like cats.

61

:

Russell Newton: Fascinating.

62

:

wow, that's a, you know, it it, I grew

up in the Midwest, south side of Chicago.

63

:

So we had our, had some skunks around, you

know, and basically you would notice 'em

64

:

till there were road kill, and that's when

they would, make their presence known.

65

:

but I guess they don't,

they're not in Georgia.

66

:

Do you have them in California?

67

:

This has nothing to do with

the podcast really, but it's,

68

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

69

:

Yes

70

:

Russell Newton: they live in California?

71

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

72

:

We

73

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

74

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

75

:

in California.

76

:

Yeah.

77

:

and you know what?

78

:

I went to Lake Forest High School,

which is very close to where you lived.

79

:

Russell Newton: so we have some

similarities in our background,

80

:

skunk wise, skunk wise.

81

:

That's interesting.

82

:

Yeah.

83

:

I'm, I'm tempted may to ask you to

run through that list again, but

84

:

we'll, we will hit on some, several

of those things as we go along.

85

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

86

:

Okay?

87

:

Russell Newton: there was

a, there was a metaphysics.

88

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

89

:

Mm-hmm.

90

:

Russell Newton: tell us what that

is For someone not knowledgeable

91

:

about meta metaphysics.

92

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

93

:

There are not degrees available in it.

94

:

So, metaphysics was self-study

for me, I happen to be a big

95

:

fan of traditional physics.

96

:

what most people don't realize is

in the world of traditional physics,

97

:

they're always exploring the beyond

the, the great question, the unknown,

98

:

the whatever that is out there.

99

:

Some people call it god, you

know, the great mystery, whatever.

100

:

And so physics often collides

with metaphysics and metaphysics.

101

:

Meta meaning larger is the idea

that, yeah, there's something big

102

:

out there and we don't quite get it.

103

:

And, and what we study in metaphysics

is the manifestation of those things.

104

:

Like, for example, someone who has lost

a loved one and all of a sudden they show

105

:

up at the end of their bed one night.

106

:

I've, I've worked with, I

worked with a lovely, woman

107

:

who, whose daughter had been.

108

:

diagnosed, with diabetes.

109

:

Her blood sugar came in at

like 400, which is really bad.

110

:

And so she was supposed to

see her physician the next day

111

:

to start her insulin and all.

112

:

And she went to bed that night and at

the foot of her bed, something pulled

113

:

on her great toe and she woke up and

she looked up and it was her uncle.

114

:

And she said, uncle John.

115

:

He said, yes.

116

:

He said, don't worry, it's all a mistake.

117

:

Everything will be fine.

118

:

And then she said, but you're dead.

119

:

said, I know honey, I love you.

120

:

And then he just faded away.

121

:

she woke up her husband and said,

oh my god, uncle John just came

122

:

to me and what am I gonna do?

123

:

And da, da da da.

124

:

And he said, you know, you've lost it.

125

:

You have gone around the bend.

126

:

No, there's no such thing

as that kind of stuff.

127

:

You need to go talk to somebody.

128

:

So her doctor referred her to me and

the next day, and it was an emergency.

129

:

So I saw her and she said,

do you think I'm crazy?

130

:

I said, no.

131

:

She said, well, what do

you think I should do?

132

:

well, I don't do shoulds, but my

advice would be, repeat the blood test.

133

:

What have you got to lose?

134

:

So they did.

135

:

And it was in fact a lab error.

136

:

If they had gone based on those labs, they

might have seriously injured, killed her.

137

:

So that's an example of it also intersects

with transpersonal psychology as well.

138

:

Russell Newton: So the story you have

with the, with the girl and the her uncle,

139

:

what actually is that?

140

:

can you explain it for someone

that doesn't, that's never

141

:

had any exposure to that.

142

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

143

:

Well, I'll tell you something.

144

:

One of the tricky parts about

this field that there's no

145

:

linear measurement available.

146

:

There's, there's no linear, application

I can use to say this is what

147

:

transpired and what we, what we rely

on in this part of science is felt

148

:

experience felt experience was, which

is interestingly something I needed to

149

:

defend in my dissertation when I, when

I did that, which is a load of fun.

150

:

If any of you're thinking you a PhD,

ACEs, you'll really bring cookies.

151

:

That's my advice felt experience, you

know, I was challenged on that and

152

:

I said, well, I, I asked the person

during the challenge, I said, have you

153

:

ever loved someone or loathed someone?

154

:

well, yeah.

155

:

I said, well, pick one.

156

:

And they said, well, my

grandma, I love my grandma.

157

:

I said, oh, that's nice.

158

:

Prove it.

159

:

He said, well, I see her every

Sunday and I eat her bad apple

160

:

pie, and I don't tell her it's bad.

161

:

And, you know, I, I send

her cards and stuff.

162

:

I get her Christmas presents.

163

:

I said, yeah, could be a liar.

164

:

could be someone out for her money.

165

:

You could just be adhering

to a social construct.

166

:

You haven't proved anything and you can't.

167

:

Which is I guess why they

gave me the PhD, huh?

168

:

'cause I got that answer

169

:

Russell Newton: Must have worked.

170

:

That's right.

171

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

172

:

but the point was that, for, for her

experience, she saw, felt and could

173

:

hear this person, whether that was

a projection of her unconscious,

174

:

there's no way for us to say for sure.

175

:

however, her, I don't, and usually in

those experiences, only the person having

176

:

the experience can see what they see.

177

:

Sometimes it's a smell,

sometimes it's just like a

178

:

presence, a sense of a presence.

179

:

it can be animals, it can be people.

180

:

Sometimes there's a message, I've

been waiting for some to show up and

181

:

say, oh, the money's in the basement.

182

:

Go down there, dig here.

183

:

You know, but so far

nobody's shown up like that.

184

:

But, people have, and, and, but

sometimes I will also say this, there

185

:

are experiences where groups of people

have, encountered something unseen

186

:

or unmeasurable by, by linear terms.

187

:

I had a case where.

188

:

And there was a, a family and they

lived in the south and they had this

189

:

beautiful restored antebellum mansion.

190

:

I mean, they really worked hard on it.

191

:

And so the oldest daughter went

away to college and she brought

192

:

this guy home for Thanksgiving.

193

:

nobody really liked him very

much, but you know how that goes.

194

:

Anyway, so they had a ghost in their

house and the ghost would make itself

195

:

known by, you know, moving things around

and swinging chandeliers sometimes.

196

:

But they just accepted it

kind of as a family member.

197

:

this guy comes in and

they're sitting at the table.

198

:

And so one of the other siblings said,

oh, did you tell him about our ghost?

199

:

And the guy says, the new boyfriend

says there's no such thing as ghost.

200

:

That's ridiculous.

201

:

Oh, that was not the right thing to say.

202

:

The chandeliers started to

swing, dishes fell off the table.

203

:

He literally ran out of the house.

204

:

And would never talk to her again.

205

:

That was the end of that relationship.

206

:

So, that was the situation where a

lot of people had that experience.

207

:

Russell Newton: I, I don't know

that I've spoke with anybody

208

:

firsthand that has that kind of

experience, and I find that really.

209

:

Yeah, incredibly interesting.

210

:

you, you said, again, talking

about the, the girl, it, it

211

:

could have been a manifestation

of her subconscious, something

212

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

213

:

Good.

214

:

Russell Newton: within her mind,

but so on one side, if that is the

215

:

case, that doesn't mean it's not, it

didn't happen in her, if it happened

216

:

in her head, it still happened.

217

:

Right?

218

:

I mean, it, she still got information

from her uncle that was beyond the,

219

:

information she'd been exposed to.

220

:

So there's still something there.

221

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

222

:

Oh yeah.

223

:

And I've worked with a, a lot of people

who have had near death experiences and

224

:

you know, what that was like and what they

225

:

Russell Newton: right.

226

:

Yeah.

227

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

228

:

and again, we don't have linear

measurement for that other than I can

229

:

tell you to a person of the hundreds of

pers people that I've worked with that

230

:

have had those kind of experiences,

they don't come back the same.

231

:

So there's a linear measurement for you.

232

:

They do not come back the same

person they were when they died.

233

:

It's a very, very powerful

thing and a wonderfully life

234

:

affirming thing at the same time.

235

:

Russell Newton: Really,

236

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

237

:

Mm-hmm.

238

:

Yeah.

239

:

Russell Newton: can you share

a, can you, can you share a

240

:

specific example or a story there?

241

:

Is that appropriate?

242

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

243

:

absolutely.

244

:

I'll change the details.

245

:

So, you know,

246

:

Russell Newton: Of course.

247

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

248

:

people's confidence.

249

:

there was, a gentleman who was having

a quadruple bypass coronary surgery,

250

:

which is a big surgery do that.

251

:

And they have to take veins from your

legs and put it, you know, all that stuff.

252

:

So it's a big complex surgery.

253

:

And he was not a very nice man.

254

:

He was not good to his wife and daughters

and, his hobby was cock fighting.

255

:

he was

256

:

Russell Newton: Hmm.

257

:

I.

258

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

259

:

not a very nice man anyway, just having

this surgery and God bless him, be codes

260

:

right there on the table, just shuts down.

261

:

They did everything.

262

:

They resus, they tried everything to

resuscitate him and nothing worked.

263

:

So they worked on him.

264

:

I know about minutes, half

hour flat line, nothing.

265

:

So they put him on a gurney and

they were gonna take him out.

266

:

because obviously they had to

tell the family and all that.

267

:

Damned if he didn't sit up, sat right

up on that gurney, just sat right up.

268

:

And the surgeon who, who is a

colleague of mine I've known for many

269

:

years, he's been a surgeon for many.

270

:

He had to change his scrubs.

271

:

I mean, it freaked him out.

272

:

'cause he said that guy was dead.

273

:

He had no brain activity, no heartbeat.

274

:

He was cold.

275

:

He was, he was turning gray.

276

:

So anyway, they put him back in

the table, they hook him back up.

277

:

They finish the surgery

normally after a surgery.

278

:

I do hypnotic anesthesia in

the operating room, by the way.

279

:

So I'm pretty familiar with how they work.

280

:

So, usually after a case like

that, the anesthesiologist stays

281

:

with the patient to make sure

they come up out of the chemicals.

282

:

And this guy had had two sets.

283

:

Of anesthesia.

284

:

'cause they had to put

him back under again.

285

:

So we had a lot of stuff in him.

286

:

So it took a good long while

for him to come out of it.

287

:

But he kept saying,

Lily, Lily is the baby.

288

:

Okay.

289

:

And this, this time the

anesthesiologist didn't stay.

290

:

The surgeon stayed 'cause

he was so freaked out.

291

:

So he kept saying, there's no baby, sir.

292

:

You just had a surgery.

293

:

Wake up.

294

:

He kept trying to give him.

295

:

So finally he comes to, and the

surgeon says, what happened?

296

:

And he said, well, first can,

can we check on the baby?

297

:

He said, what baby?

298

:

There's no baby.

299

:

He said, what happened?

300

:

He said, well, I came up outta

my body and I was floating on the

301

:

ceiling and I was watching all the

things that you were doing to me.

302

:

then I started to float away and I

saw this big ball of light and I felt

303

:

I had to go to the big ball of light.

304

:

So the man began to describe the hospital

he was floating through different sections

305

:

of the, that he'd never seen before.

306

:

And one of them was labor and delivery.

307

:

And he described watching this woman

laboring and he saw a little ball of

308

:

light come out of the woman he thought,

oh, the little ball of light's gonna

309

:

come with me and go to the big ball.

310

:

And then the mom said,

Lily, Lily, don't leave me.

311

:

And the little ball of light

went back down to the mom.

312

:

So then off he goes to the

big ball of light, and when he

313

:

gets there, there's his voice.

314

:

And it's not a male voice,

it's not a female voice.

315

:

It just says, so what did you do with it?

316

:

I hear that phrase a lot

in these various cases.

317

:

And basically he went through his life

like a movie saw every minute of every

318

:

day of every year he'd ever lived.

319

:

And he not only felt it from his

own perspective, he felt it from

320

:

this perspective of the other

people he was interacting with.

321

:

Imagine that.

322

:

So, it wasn't a very fun

movie for him to go through.

323

:

And then at the end, voice

said, okay, you need to go back.

324

:

more work for you to do.

325

:

He said, oh, please, let me stay with you.

326

:

He's, he talked about describing such love

and warmth and he didn't wanna leave, but

327

:

the voice says, no, you gotta go back.

328

:

So the next thing he knew, he was

slammed back in his body in a lot

329

:

of pain, feeling pretty terrible.

330

:

he says to the surgeon again,

would you please just go check?

331

:

So he goes, and he calls

up labor and delivery.

332

:

He says, hi, this is Dr.

333

:

So-and-so, I know you're,

this sounds crazy, but had any

334

:

deliveries in the last few hours?

335

:

Oh yes.

336

:

Just one.

337

:

it was touch and go, but baby Lily's.

338

:

Okay,

339

:

so then the guy says, can we send flowers?

340

:

Now, this is not the guy.

341

:

Yeah, is not how he was.

342

:

So the, when he came back for his

follow up, he was really struggling to

343

:

reorient himself back into his life.

344

:

And he said to the surgeon, you

know, I, I, I don't know what to do.

345

:

I don't know, I don't know

how, I don't know what to do.

346

:

So the surgeon says, well, I know

this lady, you can go talk to her

347

:

and chill, help you figure it out.

348

:

So he came to talk to me and

he said, you know, I, I don't

349

:

know, doc, you gotta fix me.

350

:

'cause I, I cry at

toilet paper commercials.

351

:

Now I, all I wanna do is

352

:

Russell Newton: Is that unusual?

353

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

354

:

well, he said, I, I, I, all I wanna

do is hug my wife and daughter

355

:

and, and the people I used to spend

time with, they're not nice people.

356

:

I, I don't wanna spend

time with them anymore.

357

:

He said, you gotta put me back.

358

:

You gotta put me back.

359

:

I said, you know, if you wanna go

back to being a narcissistic jerk,

360

:

you know how to do that on your own.

361

:

you wanna learn how to be the guy

you are, now that I can help you.

362

:

So he did, he stayed and did some

work with me, and now he's a,

363

:

he's a construction guy, so he has

his huge hands, like huge hands.

364

:

He, volunteers at inner city hospitals

and he massages crack babies.

365

:

His little babies born addicted,

and he holds them in his big hands.

366

:

And the nurses love him 'cause when he

walks in the room, everything quiets down.

367

:

The

368

:

Russell Newton: A presence?

369

:

Yeah.

370

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

371

:

Everybody's calm.

372

:

People just love to be in his presence.

373

:

There's this beautiful light about

him and he'll, he'll talk to the

374

:

babies and say it's gonna be okay.

375

:

I know, I know it's hard,

but you're gonna feel better.

376

:

They're gonna help you feel better.

377

:

And he, they've got this big

rocker the babies that are

378

:

allowed out of the incubators.

379

:

He rocks them and sings little

songs and beautiful guy.

380

:

Russell Newton: Thank

you for sharing that.

381

:

That's, an, an incredible story.

382

:

And this is not one that you've

heard fourth and fifth hand.

383

:

This is one, you know, the doctor,

you dealt with the man personally.

384

:

You know the story.

385

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

386

:

Yep.

387

:

Russell Newton: for, this is

firsthand knowledge for our listeners.

388

:

I don't quite cry at toilet paper

commercials, but it, it's close.

389

:

when you, when you mention the, the little

light leaving and then turning around and

390

:

going back, you, you almost had me there.

391

:

I admit, I, I sometimes can be, on

the, on the edge of those things.

392

:

And what a great story.

393

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

394

:

What a great man.

395

:

Russell Newton: it, it, it reminded

me in the opposite direction of the

396

:

story, not a story, but the, the case

of, is it Henry Gage or Thomas Gage,

397

:

the man who lost a big portion of his

brain due to an industrial accident.

398

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

399

:

Mm-hmm.

400

:

Russell Newton: His personality

changed for the better.

401

:

He became much, and for obvious

reasons, there was a large portion

402

:

of his brain had been destroyed.

403

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

404

:

Yes,

405

:

Russell Newton: but this

man came back different.

406

:

So that leads us maybe more to what

our listeners have tuned in for.

407

:

I hope they find this of

interest because I could talk

408

:

about these things for a while.

409

:

Maybe I should start up a

different podcast as well.

410

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

411

:

that'd

412

:

Russell Newton: but you said

you met with this, it would be,

413

:

you met with this individual.

414

:

so if we could take this specific

case and maybe broaden it.

415

:

And he was having difficulty with the

situation that he'd found himself in,

416

:

and you said, you worked with him.

417

:

Now you worked with him, includes.

418

:

A lot of things, and I know you, you

have a lot of therapy techniques, in

419

:

your toolbox, I'm sure, from all your

studies and all the work you've done.

420

:

But, and your website, we'll

plug this a little bit.

421

:

You have a lot of things there for

that people can find, resources and

422

:

contact you for information and, and,

psychological, psychological services.

423

:

Can I say that, that

applies to what I see there?

424

:

so when you work with this person or

when you work with someone, just give,

425

:

can you tell us a little bit about your

school of thought for therapy, what

426

:

your primary approach is, and what a

person might expect if they were going

427

:

into therapy with you or with another

psychotherapist or, or counselor.

428

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

429

:

Well, I don't know if

I can speak for others.

430

:

I'm a little

431

:

Russell Newton: Not broadly, right.

432

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

433

:

as the saying goes outstanding

in my field, right.

434

:

I'm a little different.

435

:

but one of the, the main things I ask

people about is what are you afraid of?

436

:

Because there are two things

that make the body sick.

437

:

One is inflammation and the other is fear.

438

:

And fear frequently

precipitates inflammation.

439

:

And inflammation frequently

makes fear worse.

440

:

So they work together hand in hand.

441

:

So I do energy psychology with

people to reduce inflammation.

442

:

And then, I will just ask him,

tell me like, like this man.

443

:

I said, what, what are you afraid of?

444

:

And so immediately he, it, it, it, it

gave him a door to walk through to say,

445

:

I'm afraid, I dunno how to be myself.

446

:

I, I'm afraid I don't

know who I am, afraid.

447

:

I don't know how to love.

448

:

I mean, those were not things

he knew how to explore before.

449

:

Absolutely never think to.

450

:

But once we laid out all those

fears, I'd say, okay, pick one.

451

:

Where do you wanna start?

452

:

And then he would choose whatever he

wanted to do and we'd go down that road.

453

:

For the

454

:

Russell Newton: What you

mentioned, and I go ahead.

455

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

456

:

I'm sorry.

457

:

For the most part, people are

troubled about relationship, which

458

:

is why I'm the relationship doctor.

459

:

It's either relationship with yourself

or relationship with others, but they're

460

:

both vitally important in your life.

461

:

Russell Newton: Right.

462

:

You mentioned just in that last

section, energy psychology, which,

463

:

I admit I am not familiar with.

464

:

Can you give us some background

on the phrase in, in the

465

:

study of energy psychology

466

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

467

:

Sure.

468

:

in allopathic medicine, which

is what we practiced in the

469

:

West, we've been really snobby.

470

:

We've kind of

471

:

Russell Newton: in the western, in,

I'm sorry, for our listeners in the

472

:

West as a, as opposed to Eastern

medicine, Ayurvedic, whatever those

473

:

things might be, but in Western

medicine, not in the west of California.

474

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

475

:

that's correct.

476

:

Yes.

477

:

Western.

478

:

Thank you for that clarification.

479

:

Yes.

480

:

In Western medicine, in general, it's

called allopathic medicine and we've,

481

:

we've had our head up our butts a

little bit and been kind of snobby and

482

:

said, yeah, you know, any indigenous

practices, that's a lot of nonsense.

483

:

Well, guess what?

484

:

We did, we did some more

research and found out that we

485

:

were cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

486

:

That's not how it works.

487

:

There are subtle meridians in

the body that you can access with

488

:

various techniques like acupuncture,

acupuncture, emotional freedom

489

:

technique, and various other things.

490

:

The havening technique, 4, 7, 8,

breathing all different kinds of ways

491

:

to, to, access those energies and

bring down your stress levels, your

492

:

cortisol, which is your stress hormone.

493

:

adrenaline, people who have high levels

of adrenaline, their body wrecks, their

494

:

blood pressure, their gastrointestinal

system, and it's really bad.

495

:

Please listen to this.

496

:

It's really bad for your brain and

that's why sleep is so important.

497

:

'cause that's when we do our housekeeping

up there and, and we gotta, we gotta get

498

:

all out as much nasty as we possibly can.

499

:

It's also though.

500

:

Else is cool about sleep.

501

:

Can you tell?

502

:

I love brains.

503

:

I'm a serious brain person.

504

:

Russell Newton: That's fantastic.

505

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

506

:

the other thing that's so cool about

is you've probably had this experience

507

:

at some time in your life where you had

a problem and you just, you worked on

508

:

it, worked on it, couldn't figure it

out, and finally said, oh, forget it.

509

:

I'll just take a nap.

510

:

Or I'll just go to bed and you

wake up and I know just what to do.

511

:

And so not only is your brain

cleaning itself, it's also allowing

512

:

novel connections to be made

neuronally so you can wake up and

513

:

Oh, I see how the pieces fit now.

514

:

And then problem solved.

515

:

And many

516

:

Russell Newton: Or the

517

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

518

:

in science and in literature have talked

about they went to sleep and woke up

519

:

and wrote a book or woke up and figured

out how this or that formula worked.

520

:

Russell Newton: so many songwriters,

will say that, or, Our author,

521

:

Peter Hollands re refers in his

books on occasion to the shower aha.

522

:

Moment, where you're engaged in a, maybe

a mindless activity, but a beneficial

523

:

activity, and then something you would

been focused on earlier and couldn't

524

:

find a solution for will suddenly click.

525

:

That's what you're referring to, or two,

526

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

527

:

it is.

528

:

And

529

:

Russell Newton: and to some extent

now you're talking about sleep, which

530

:

is different, more involved, but

531

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

532

:

well, the, the brainwaves change in sleep,

is a little different from the shower.

533

:

Russell Newton: Right.

534

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

535

:

some slight variation there, but

not the dramatic variation that

536

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

537

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

538

:

But the thing that's interesting

about what you said is we

539

:

tend to think of ourselves as

exclusively our prefrontal cortex.

540

:

That's the part right

here behind your forehead.

541

:

That's our, where our executive

functioning happens, our logic,

542

:

our reason, all that jazz.

543

:

And we tend to think of our,

that's, that's our brain.

544

:

That's how we think.

545

:

There's a whole other world in there.

546

:

A whole other world.

547

:

And when you occupy the prefrontal

cortex with a shower or maybe some

548

:

mindless activity, all of a sudden

you access that whole other world.

549

:

And a lot of creativity can come

from that and a lot of fun too.

550

:

Russell Newton: would you say, is

this tied into the flow state as well?

551

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

552

:

Absolutely.

553

:

Flo I'm again, I'm glad

you brought that up.

554

:

Flo is, is, well, okay.

555

:

Here's an example.

556

:

I, work, as you know, with animals.

557

:

I also work with emotional

support animals in my practice.

558

:

I, I've worked with them for many

years and patients come to me, they

559

:

have anxiety, depression or whatever,

and they need a letter to justify

560

:

having an emotional support animal.

561

:

Okay.

562

:

Well, I recently wrote one for

an emotional support sneak.

563

:

And this particular young man,

his parent has died of cancer.

564

:

he was going off away from

home for the first time.

565

:

He just had a really bad time with

some self-destructive stuff, you know.

566

:

So got him on an even keel and I

wrote the letter to the school,

567

:

and fortunately they said yes.

568

:

So, that was, UCSC slug strong.

569

:

That's their, mascot is the banana slug.

570

:

So in

571

:

Russell Newton: A slug, like a snail,

like a, a snail without a shell slug.

572

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

573

:

in their mental health,

department, they call it slug

574

:

strong, you know, we're gonna.

575

:

Do well So, she, she got that and not

48 hours later I got an email from,

576

:

a, an organization that does education

work for the American Bar Association,

577

:

asking me to do a presentation on you

guested, emotional support animals.

578

:

That's how flow works.

579

:

When you get into that space

and you open yourself to that

580

:

energy, it just comes to you,

581

:

Russell Newton: Do you, is, so are

you saying there's a connection

582

:

between your flow state and others?

583

:

That, that got you?

584

:

a request for more information

is, are those connected somehow?

585

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

586

:

we're all connected.

587

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

588

:

Okay.

589

:

This is metaphysics again.

590

:

Yeah.

591

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

592

:

Yeah.

593

:

but physics, as we catch up with physics,

594

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

595

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

596

:

beginning to support that.

597

:

The math is beginning to say, oh, yeah.

598

:

There's not a whole lot of

separation between things.

599

:

And, you

600

:

Russell Newton: Wow.

601

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

602

:

favorite example of that, quantum

entanglement and people who say to

603

:

me, I don't get quantum entanglement.

604

:

I say, do you have a garden hose?

605

:

That's, that's all you need to see

because you can put it anywhere and

606

:

you'll come back and it's in a knot,

607

:

Russell Newton: Come back

with a wrinkle in it.

608

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

609

:

or, or you have jewelry, put it

anywhere and you'll come back.

610

:

And it's, that's quantum

entanglement for you.

611

:

But it's also about how we are entangled

in the quantum, how we are connected.

612

:

And that's why when we make

artificial delineations based

613

:

on skin or religion or where you

614

:

Russell Newton: Hmm.

615

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

616

:

born, it's a lie.

617

:

It's a horrible lie.

618

:

We are all one.

619

:

And when any one of us'

hurt, we are all injured.

620

:

And when any one of us is made

better, we are all healed.

621

:

Russell Newton: That just

leaves me, kind of speechless.

622

:

That's, that's very powerful.

623

:

Thank you for that.

624

:

we're, we're kind of on the bubble

here, still on the edge of, and,

625

:

and I hedge a few of my statements

because I try to present what I feel

626

:

is the viewpoint of our listeners.

627

:

There're gonna be a lot of listeners

out there who would've been

628

:

like me when they were in their

twenties and thirties that said.

629

:

You know, metaphysics, you know,

it's a bunch of, spiritualism

630

:

or that kind of thing.

631

:

I, I don't feel that way any longer.

632

:

There's, I feel, there's obviously many

things there that I've written off earlier

633

:

that, I've probably shorted myself because

I didn't learn about 'em at the time,

634

:

and really in my mind still, I'm not

gonna say that in my mind for a while

635

:

would've been hypnosis and hypnotherapy.

636

:

but these seem very

closely, maybe they're not.

637

:

Are they closely related, the, the

concept of hypnotherapy and some of

638

:

the work that we're doing and, and

we, as we talk about metaphysics or

639

:

is it, just not along those lines.

640

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

641

:

Well, you know what it is,

it's really about our, our

642

:

brain is back to brains again.

643

:

Our brain is a, is a giant, switchboard

644

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

645

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

646

:

it allows the body to

function the way it does.

647

:

And it is very closely

connected to circuits in the gut

648

:

Russell Newton: Right,

649

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

650

:

the heart.

651

:

And there is constant interplay

and conversation between

652

:

those parts of ourselves.

653

:

And so, we can have injury.

654

:

for example, if you have a a,

a big surgery, often people

655

:

are very depressed after that.

656

:

or, or you'll have a baby and,

and you have postpartum, right?

657

:

So you're,

658

:

Russell Newton: right.

659

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

660

:

experience, affects everything

that goes on about the way you

661

:

think and feel and react to things.

662

:

It's really important to know that.

663

:

So if you, you, you can use hypnosis

to help regulate some of those things.

664

:

And, well, like, you

know, I, I do hypnosis.

665

:

I control your blood pressure,

your breathing, your sense of

666

:

pain, all that kind of stuff.

667

:

And in fact, I was doing, I was

doing a surgery and this guy, he

668

:

was a police officer and someone

had, ugh, shot off his kneecap.

669

:

was awful.

670

:

So we were, we were doing a pat

ectomy and putting in a new joint.

671

:

So I'm like keeping him.

672

:

I am and we, and we always have a

chemical anesthesia anesthesiologist on

673

:

standby in case there's an emergency.

674

:

So anyway, I'm talking to the guy in

his ear, I'm saying, oh yeah, everyone's

675

:

laughing because you're doing so well.

676

:

And they're telling jokes 'cause the

surgery's going well, and your body's so

677

:

relaxed, you're already started healing.

678

:

It's already beginning.

679

:

New cells are formed.

680

:

I'm doing all my thing.

681

:

Right?

682

:

All of a sudden the surgeon says, stop.

683

:

Okay.

684

:

thought, God, what have I done?

685

:

He said, I, I said, is

everything okay down there?

686

:

of course I have a drape up here.

687

:

I don't see him.

688

:

says, getting very relaxed and I just

needed you to stop for a minute refocus.

689

:

And yeah, many people will say,

well, you know, I'm not hypnotizable

690

:

or I'm, I've never been hypnotized.

691

:

But in fact, I guarantee you, you have.

692

:

And here's a common example.

693

:

Have you ever been in the car?

694

:

And it's rainy a little bit and

the windshield wipers are on.

695

:

And they're going back and forth and

back and forth, and all of a sudden

696

:

it's your destination and you don't

really remember how you got there.

697

:

That's a level one trance.

698

:

Now, of course, obviously there are

deeper trances if I'm gonna control

699

:

your perception of pain, right?

700

:

That's not a level one trance, but,

everyone has been in that, or, or maybe

701

:

you've had a time when you just found

yourself staring and just kinda shut down.

702

:

That's, that's a little

trance right there.

703

:

So if you yourself in trance,

you can remember things.

704

:

you can also, help you relax and

change the way you respond to an

705

:

injury or a trauma, when you come

to full waking consciousness again.

706

:

I mean, there's all kinds of things

that you can do with it if it's

707

:

done well in the right hands.

708

:

Russell Newton: So, you know, you

say a, a level one trance or which

709

:

we've experienced and haven't, maybe

haven't recognized, but probably

710

:

everyone has had that occur.

711

:

Like I said, it's a great example

with the, the windshield wipers.

712

:

When I was taking driver's ed way back

when, they called it highway hypnosis.

713

:

I dunno if that's still the same term,

but when you're driving for many miles,

714

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

715

:

Yep.

716

:

Russell Newton: it, it is easy to, To

come out of full alertness, but really

717

:

what you're referring to is not so much

that because what are you, are you letting

718

:

your prefrontal cortex just take control

of the obvious mechanics of keeping the

719

:

car in the lane and then the rest of your

brain or other parts of your brain are

720

:

able to take over what's happening there?

721

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

722

:

actually, once you're hypothalamus,

you're kind of, it's muscle memory.

723

:

You're just driving with muscle memory.

724

:

And you have, and one of the things

I talk about when I use hypnosis with

725

:

people is you can come to full waking

consciousness anytime you want to.

726

:

So you don't need to be concerned

wherever we're going that

727

:

you're gonna be stuck there.

728

:

'cause a lot of people are

scared, well, if there's a

729

:

fire, what if something happens?

730

:

You know?

731

:

And I reassure them, Nope, you come to

full waking consciousness like that.

732

:

Don't worry about it.

733

:

right now though, maybe you'd just like

to listen to my voice and follow along

734

:

and we'll take a journey together.

735

:

Russell Newton: I, I'm

fascinated by, someone going into

736

:

surgery through this process.

737

:

Can you, can you go through a case?

738

:

Just, just how do you prepare,

what do your, how does it work?

739

:

Is that.

740

:

That's a really broad question,

but there's too many there to,

741

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

742

:

It's a

743

:

Russell Newton: to itemize.

744

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

745

:

Well, usually what I do is it, sometimes

I'll do it, for childbirth, for example.

746

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

747

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

748

:

I would have the mom come in, oh for a few

weeks beforehand, get her used to trance

749

:

what it feels like, what it sounds like.

750

:

and I will often give

her anchoring signals.

751

:

Like for example, I will tell her when

I squeeze your hand, you'll feel the

752

:

deepest relaxation you've ever felt.

753

:

Your muscles will relaxed and

your body will feel amazing

754

:

like you're floating on a cloud.

755

:

So when she is starting to feel a

lot of pain, I'll husband gear that

756

:

signal and she can, know, relax again.

757

:

So like that

758

:

Russell Newton: I,

759

:

Tell us where you would have a person

practice self anchoring, if that's

760

:

something you're, you, you've described

or prescribed for other people.

761

:

What it does when you

would use it, what it is.

762

:

Just for those of our listeners that

might not be familiar with anchoring

763

:

of, of, you know, the, the personal

concept of anchoring like that.

764

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

765

:

Well, one of the things, is, let's

take, let's take someone who has

766

:

been doing, compulsive eating.

767

:

Russell Newton: Great.

768

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

769

:

And unfortunately in my profession,

we do not see that as a disorder.

770

:

Russell Newton: It's just a weakness.

771

:

I can't control my appetite.

772

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

773

:

But it's no different

than any other addiction.

774

:

Russell Newton: Right,

775

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

776

:

exactly the same.

777

:

So, I, I would take that person and,

and help them, encourage them to develop

778

:

a little anchor about, okay, so when

I have the urge to eat, not that I'm

779

:

hungry, but I just have the urge to

eat that I'll, my thumb and forefinger

780

:

together and just sit and sit sit sit.

781

:

then you do that for a period of time,

usually I'll, I'll set, you know, like,

782

:

to two minutes, something like that.

783

:

you still want to eat because

you're hungry, go eat.

784

:

But in most cases, they're not hungry.

785

:

And

786

:

Russell Newton: right.

787

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

788

:

anchor them.

789

:

Huh?

790

:

Okay, I can relax because a lot of

compulsive behavior, whether it's

791

:

addiction to, porn for example,

or, alcohol or other substances,

792

:

there's not only the physical piece,

but there's also, our hypothalamus

793

:

is, you can't live without this.

794

:

You are going to die.

795

:

If you don't eat right

now, you are going to die.

796

:

If you don't, go masturbate right now.

797

:

You are going to die if you don't do

whatever it is, which isn't true, that

798

:

part of your brain is, is an older part

of your brain and so efficient that

799

:

it can bypass the prefrontal cortex.

800

:

So, no, no thinking is going on.

801

:

Russell Newton: Mm.

802

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

803

:

Okay?

804

:

And when that happens, you

know, there's no judgment.

805

:

and, and you, you lose the

ability to problem solve.

806

:

Russell Newton: It's, sorry,

807

:

I'm not conversant enough

with everything to, to keep it

808

:

flowing smoothly in my head.

809

:

The hypothalamus, a term that is, we talk

come across frequently in this, in many

810

:

other areas really, and a lot of reading.

811

:

Is it lizard Brain?

812

:

Is that the hypothalamus?

813

:

Us.

814

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

815

:

well that's not quite the, the

lister brain is really more

816

:

about back here your amygdala is.

817

:

That's your limbic system.

818

:

Let me,

819

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

820

:

Okay.

821

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

822

:

a quick and dirty thumbnail sketch.

823

:

Is that okay?

824

:

Russell Newton: please.

825

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

826

:

Okay.

827

:

So lemme get on camera here.

828

:

This is my hand and, in the center here.

829

:

Is the thalamus in the

hypothalamus and something called

830

:

the ventral te mental area.

831

:

And that's where your dopamine is made

hugely important 'cause there's only one

832

:

place in the brain where that's made.

833

:

Then this thing here, my thumb,

that is where your, amygdala

834

:

and your hippocampus live.

835

:

Now, your amygdala is, the organ that

sends out cortisol and also triggers

836

:

your adrenal glands on top of your

kidneys to send out adrenaline.

837

:

The hippocampus, which doesn't look

anything like a hippo by the way, is

838

:

what's in charge of memory and learning.

839

:

So has arranged it so that our nerve

center, our fear center and our learning

840

:

center are super closely co-located.

841

:

And we'll, that will come it's more

important to know where the tigers

842

:

are than the strawberries, right?

843

:

So you gotta, okay, so this fold

in like this, this goes like that.

844

:

And this is the gray crinkly

part you're used to seeing.

845

:

That's your cortex.

846

:

And up here is where your, you

know, again, your hypothalamus

847

:

is in the center there.

848

:

and then here where my fingernails

are in the front, that's this part.

849

:

That's your prefrontal cortex.

850

:

So, way it's designed to work

is your amygdala sends out a

851

:

signal, danger, danger, something

bad's gonna happen, right?

852

:

so the message goes up and your prefrontal

cortex says, okay, I'll check it out.

853

:

So they send out the optics, they

send out the hands, and we look around

854

:

and we feel around, oh, stand down.

855

:

No problem.

856

:

It was a shadow.

857

:

You know, it was a trick of the light.

858

:

And so the amygdala says,

oh, okay, so stands down.

859

:

if you have anxiety disorder

860

:

Russell Newton: Right.

861

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

862

:

or you have something like, bipolar

disorder in, the manic phase, or you are

863

:

schizophrenic and, and you're psychotic,

you're full, of dopamine and adrenaline

864

:

your pre-filing cortex is offline,

and that's why crazy things happen.

865

:

Does that make sense?

866

:

Russell Newton: Yes, absolutely

867

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

868

:

So in the rest of us and a milder

version, if we, if we, are anxious a

869

:

lot or we worry a lot, our brain begins

to develop connections such that it

870

:

will bypass the prefrontal cortex.

871

:

So when the prefrontal cortex

finally catches up and says,

872

:

oh, it's not as dangerous, fine,

the media says, don't care.

873

:

Don't care

874

:

Russell Newton: right.

875

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

876

:

sending out chemicals.

877

:

So the moral of the story is

don't think with your thumb.

878

:

You, you gotta be sure.

879

:

You gotta be sure you got

the whole mechanism going.

880

:

But that's why never say

this, please never say this.

881

:

If you've got someone who's having

a panic attack or, or they're being

882

:

very anxious, don't say, calm down,

883

:

Russell Newton: Just calm down.

884

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

885

:

don't say that because they're

probably gonna deck you.

886

:

It's really bad idea.

887

:

'cause of course, if they

could do that, they would.

888

:

But some of the energy psychology

techniques that I teach help them

889

:

when they are in that situation so

that they can access their ability

890

:

to calm themselves down again and

perceive reality more accurately.

891

:

That was a long story, but I hope that

892

:

Russell Newton: No,

that's, that is spot on.

893

:

Thank you for that.

894

:

yeah, the, the just calm down part, as

you said, if they could, they would, it's

895

:

just, it's like telling someone don't be

afraid or you shouldn't feel that way.

896

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

897

:

yes.

898

:

Oh,

899

:

Russell Newton: those things

are just incredible invalidator,

900

:

and we tell ourselves that too.

901

:

I shouldn't be afraid to do that.

902

:

I, I should, you know, and

I'm, I wrote this down because

903

:

you said you don't do shoulds.

904

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

905

:

I'm so glad you brought that up.

906

:

Russell Newton: Let's go into that.

907

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

908

:

Let's go into that.

909

:

Indeed.

910

:

Okay.

911

:

shoulds are shame words.

912

:

Shame words should supposed to, to.

913

:

it suggests that there's some

magical bar that if only we

914

:

Russell Newton: Hmm

915

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

916

:

that then we're gonna, we're

gonna be okay, but there's no bar.

917

:

We

918

:

Russell Newton: mm-hmm.

919

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

920

:

bar.

921

:

So what you have to do, first of

all, is take those words out of

922

:

your vocabulary and throw them

away replace them with want.

923

:

Need and demand.

924

:

an example.

925

:

'cause people say, oh, come on,

doctor C, that can't be that powerful.

926

:

It's one little word I

use shit all the time.

927

:

I said, okay, we'll try this.

928

:

You got some dirty laundry, most of us do.

929

:

And you say, I should do my laundry.

930

:

won't do it.

931

:

You'll not do it.

932

:

do anything but that.

933

:

However, if you say, yeah, I need

to do some laundry, you'll throw it

934

:

in the machine, maybe stream a movie

when the thing goes off, put it in the

935

:

dryer, finish the movie laundry done.

936

:

So the difference between being shamed

into something and owning that has

937

:

importance to you, makes all the

difference in the world in terms of your

938

:

ability to function, feel good about

yourself, and frankly, get things done.

939

:

V Floggings will continue until morale

improves, does not do the trick.

940

:

Russell Newton: And this, you

know, as you were saying that,

941

:

this ties into child rearing,

942

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

943

:

Oh yeah.

944

:

Russell Newton: a a lot in my opinion,

and maybe, I don't wanna say in my

945

:

experience to make it sound like I was,

I was raised this way, but, I think a

946

:

lot of children are, are parents try to

shame a child into doing something because

947

:

they, they should for some magical reason.

948

:

but that's, it's probably not

the best way to present that, to,

949

:

you know, the, they're logical,

functioning and all that are limited.

950

:

So there's things there

that you have to do.

951

:

But, that whole shaming

process is, is used a lot.

952

:

probably throughout all our lives and we

don't recognize it as much as we should

953

:

and do what we can to eliminate it.

954

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

955

:

Did you hear that?

956

:

You just said should.

957

:

Russell Newton: We should.

958

:

That's right.

959

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

960

:

it is.

961

:

See?

962

:

See how prevalent it is.

963

:

Okay, so let's talk about

964

:

Russell Newton: See,

that's how good you are.

965

:

You, you pulled that out of

the sentence just like that

966

:

because you've practiced this.

967

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

968

:

what I do.

969

:

Russell Newton: I should

be better at that.

970

:

It

971

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

972

:

so, remorse is when you feel badly for

doing something, you've, you've done

973

:

something wrong, you've made a mistake.

974

:

Okay?

975

:

Shame implies that you are a mistake.

976

:

You're fundamentally flawed.

977

:

If only you were the

978

:

Russell Newton: Wow.

979

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

980

:

of person, you would do this or that.

981

:

So it's a very destructive, horrible word,

and it's just, you gotta get rid of it.

982

:

It's a bad, bad, bad thing.

983

:

However, let's say you've got a kid

and, they got into an argument with

984

:

another kid, which happens all the time.

985

:

And, so you go in and see this

squabble going on and say,

986

:

you know, what's going on?

987

:

And, the, the victim in the

story says, well, he was mean

988

:

to me and he did this and that.

989

:

I said, oh, well, why was he mean to you?

990

:

Well.

991

:

Well, I took his truck.

992

:

Oh, I see.

993

:

Russell Newton: Ah, you got it.

994

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

995

:

So then I would say, instead of shame on

you, go over there and say you're sorry.

996

:

I would say, Hmm.

997

:

How do you suppose he feels about that?

998

:

Probably not good.

999

:

Well, how's his face look over there.

:

00:44:48,175 --> 00:44:51,625

How's he, does he, does

he look happy or sad?

:

00:44:51,625 --> 00:44:52,375

What do you think?

:

00:44:52,765 --> 00:44:53,935

He looks kind of sad.

:

00:44:54,235 --> 00:44:56,575

Okay, well how about we go

over and talk to him about that

:

00:45:00,145 --> 00:45:02,150

and pretty soon, of course they're

best of friends and that, and

:

00:45:02,155 --> 00:45:02,875

that's the end of the story.

:

00:45:03,085 --> 00:45:06,535

But basically what you've

taught that child is a lot about

:

00:45:06,535 --> 00:45:08,335

compassionate conflict solution.

:

00:45:09,621 --> 00:45:11,836

Russell Newton: Now that is so strong and

I think I'm, I'm probably interrupting

:

00:45:11,836 --> 00:45:15,586

you here 'cause I think you had

probably some follow on comments there,

:

00:45:15,586 --> 00:45:22,636

but I would frequently find myself

saying, you shouldn't have done that.

:

00:45:22,696 --> 00:45:22,996

Right?

:

00:45:23,266 --> 00:45:23,956

I took his truck.

:

00:45:23,986 --> 00:45:24,976

Well, you shouldn't have done that.

:

00:45:25,156 --> 00:45:28,996

That doesn't mean anything to a child

or to an employee or to a spouse.

:

00:45:28,996 --> 00:45:30,916

It doesn't matter what

age we're talking about.

:

00:45:30,946 --> 00:45:35,206

You shouldn't have, it's just, I'm

just keeping more shame on you.

:

00:45:35,206 --> 00:45:38,566

But the, the concept of saying,

okay, you took his truck.

:

00:45:39,766 --> 00:45:44,026

I'm not saying that's good or bad, I just

want you to look at him and see what that.

:

00:45:44,461 --> 00:45:48,721

If what effect your actions had

on that person, and then you can

:

00:45:48,721 --> 00:45:50,491

decide internally where that falls.

:

00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:51,361

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:45:51,361 --> 00:45:51,650

Yeah.

:

00:45:51,745 --> 00:45:57,285

I'll have to tell you, when I was teaching

years ago, one of the things I loved more

:

00:45:57,285 --> 00:46:01,605

than anything else, because of course,

you know, you can look up anything,

:

00:46:01,785 --> 00:46:07,815

you can read a book about anything, but

who you become as a person everything.

:

00:46:08,985 --> 00:46:13,665

And I had this little girl and I got

her when she was in the second grade.

:

00:46:13,665 --> 00:46:16,605

She couldn't read a word, could not

read everybody giving up on her.

:

00:46:18,130 --> 00:46:21,405

And so I realized that instead of

a visual learner or an auditory

:

00:46:21,405 --> 00:46:23,835

learner, she was what's called

a tactical kinesthetic learner.

:

00:46:24,105 --> 00:46:26,385

So she had to feel things to learn them.

:

00:46:27,105 --> 00:46:31,155

we started making all these, three

by five cards, and every time she'd

:

00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:34,095

learn a new word, we'd write it in

glue and then put glitter on it.

:

00:46:34,971 --> 00:46:35,571

Russell Newton: Oh, nice.

:

00:46:35,685 --> 00:46:35,686

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:46:35,686 --> 00:46:36,585

she had this,

:

00:46:36,716 --> 00:46:36,836

Russell Newton: I.

:

00:46:36,945 --> 00:46:36,946

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:46:36,946 --> 00:46:40,005

little box she carried with her

everywhere, with all these words, right?

:

00:46:40,425 --> 00:46:44,945

So we would play, word games,

and of course, part of teaching

:

00:46:44,945 --> 00:46:46,325

kids is you teach 'em how to win.

:

00:46:46,325 --> 00:46:47,915

You teach 'em how to lose, right?

:

00:46:47,915 --> 00:46:48,635

You do both.

:

00:46:48,725 --> 00:46:51,485

And so sometimes I would

lose a game very badly.

:

00:46:52,265 --> 00:46:53,645

I may cry when I tell you the story.

:

00:46:54,905 --> 00:46:57,515

one day I, I made sure that I lost badly.

:

00:46:57,515 --> 00:47:00,155

And I said, oh, I didn't

do a good job at all.

:

00:47:00,155 --> 00:47:02,615

I, I didn't, I don't know my words.

:

00:47:02,615 --> 00:47:05,525

And I, I did not do a good job at all.

:

00:47:06,155 --> 00:47:10,490

So she's packing the cards back

in the box and she says, Ms.

:

00:47:10,490 --> 00:47:11,975

Cochran, worry.

:

00:47:12,755 --> 00:47:16,535

You can take the carts home this

weekend and practice, and I know

:

00:47:16,535 --> 00:47:19,835

when you come back on Monday

you'll be able to win the game.

:

00:47:20,795 --> 00:47:21,185

Oh,

:

00:47:23,345 --> 00:47:25,055

there I can die happy now.

:

00:47:26,021 --> 00:47:26,141

Russell Newton: Hmm.

:

00:47:27,635 --> 00:47:27,636

' Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:29,885

cause she can always

learn words and she will.

:

00:47:30,035 --> 00:47:31,865

She went on to be a

very successful person.

:

00:47:31,865 --> 00:47:35,825

But it was the empathy, it was the

compassion, it was the reassurance

:

00:47:35,825 --> 00:47:40,025

you can be successful, which is

the opposite of shame, which is

:

00:47:40,235 --> 00:47:41,675

there's no way you can be successful.

:

00:47:44,225 --> 00:47:45,185

What is wrong with you?

:

00:47:45,185 --> 00:47:49,835

You shouldn't do that

versus, okay, so, Hmm.

:

00:47:50,675 --> 00:47:52,175

Are you happy with that choice?

:

00:47:53,195 --> 00:47:57,305

Is it taking you closer to or further

away from where you want to be?

:

00:47:58,715 --> 00:48:01,175

That's a really important

question to ask yourself all the

:

00:48:01,251 --> 00:48:03,561

Russell Newton: you're an author, you're

a published author, I believe, and we

:

00:48:03,561 --> 00:48:04,731

haven't talked about your book at all.

:

00:48:04,731 --> 00:48:07,361

Can you tell us, about your book

and, or books if you have them?

:

00:48:07,805 --> 00:48:07,806

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:48:07,806 --> 00:48:10,955

Well, there are actually several,

but, my favorite, well one of

:

00:48:10,955 --> 00:48:12,155

them is what are you afraid of?

:

00:48:12,295 --> 00:48:14,185

you know, fears, big topic.

:

00:48:14,615 --> 00:48:17,315

another one is, Nagi and

the Secrets of the Universe.

:

00:48:17,645 --> 00:48:22,635

And it's about a young man who, won't

do what he loves 'cause he's so afraid

:

00:48:22,635 --> 00:48:24,285

of failing, that he goes out and

:

00:48:24,471 --> 00:48:24,711

Russell Newton: Hmm.

:

00:48:25,305 --> 00:48:25,306

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:48:25,306 --> 00:48:26,115

else in the world.

:

00:48:26,955 --> 00:48:29,595

And then all of a sudden one day

he realizes, well, this is silly.

:

00:48:30,315 --> 00:48:31,545

he goes off and pursues his dream.

:

00:48:31,695 --> 00:48:35,265

And then the last one, which is

my favorite of the three, is,

:

00:48:35,325 --> 00:48:36,915

Sylvia and the Magic Power Sticks.

:

00:48:37,365 --> 00:48:41,370

And it's a story about, a princess

and she lives in a castle with

:

00:48:41,370 --> 00:48:45,060

her family, and she likes to see

the magic that's all around us.

:

00:48:45,825 --> 00:48:48,525

And she's always inviting her

family to see the magic with her.

:

00:48:48,525 --> 00:48:53,055

And they're always saying, Sylvia,

Sylvia, Sylvia, what's to become of you?

:

00:48:53,865 --> 00:48:54,675

is ridiculous.

:

00:48:54,705 --> 00:48:59,025

Okay, finally she meets a

lot of magical creatures.

:

00:48:59,025 --> 00:49:02,655

And basically they say, okay,

here's some power sticks.

:

00:49:03,105 --> 00:49:06,435

These are gonna keep you safe,

but the thing you have to remember

:

00:49:06,435 --> 00:49:10,665

is you can't other people see

what they're not ready to see.

:

00:49:12,495 --> 00:49:18,495

So disappears, and Sylvia basically

goes back and tries to get her family

:

00:49:18,945 --> 00:49:25,125

to see all this wonderful magic, they

still won't do it, but she and her

:

00:49:25,665 --> 00:49:29,235

other friends and her magic powers

sticks live happily ever after.

:

00:49:30,435 --> 00:49:34,755

So the point of that is

create our own world.

:

00:49:35,925 --> 00:49:39,855

We make the world we live in with

our thoughts and our feelings, and

:

00:49:39,855 --> 00:49:44,505

the things we repeat and the words

that we choose create realities.

:

00:49:46,185 --> 00:49:50,445

And that is the most powerful thing I

know to tell you other than to give you

:

00:49:50,445 --> 00:49:53,055

this question when you're uncertain.

:

00:49:53,055 --> 00:49:55,875

Ask yourself, what would

I do if I weren't afraid?

:

00:49:57,975 --> 00:49:59,505

And then you'll know exactly what to do.

:

00:50:05,171 --> 00:50:07,781

Russell Newton: I think you just

answered my, my last question of

:

00:50:07,781 --> 00:50:11,681

the podcast generally is, what, what

would be a parting, piece of advice

:

00:50:11,681 --> 00:50:14,991

that you would give and that, that

sounds like, that might have been it.

:

00:50:15,271 --> 00:50:16,771

let me ask one final question and then

:

00:50:17,045 --> 00:50:17,046

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:50:17,046 --> 00:50:18,005

don't think with your thumb.

:

00:50:19,441 --> 00:50:21,751

Russell Newton: don't think with your

thumb, yes, that's not, that's a good,

:

00:50:21,811 --> 00:50:24,001

a reminder, but what we covered already.

:

00:50:24,001 --> 00:50:25,271

So, Dr.

:

00:50:25,271 --> 00:50:30,461

Margaret Cochran, the website

is just that dr cochran.com,

:

00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:32,351

no spaces, no underscores or anything.

:

00:50:32,651 --> 00:50:35,541

A lot of information there on

the Reese on, what services are

:

00:50:35,541 --> 00:50:39,401

available, how to contact you, what

else can we find on your website.

:

00:50:39,731 --> 00:50:40,766

Is there anything else

that we should point out?

:

00:50:41,475 --> 00:50:41,476

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:50:41,476 --> 00:50:45,015

not really, just kind of who

I am, what I do and, and what

:

00:50:45,015 --> 00:50:46,095

options there are for you.

:

00:50:46,405 --> 00:50:48,565

I like to, I like to work with people.

:

00:50:49,495 --> 00:50:54,025

the nice thing about, the internet is that

now I work with people all over the world

:

00:50:54,781 --> 00:50:55,231

Russell Newton: Oh, do you?

:

00:50:55,231 --> 00:50:55,591

Okay.

:

00:50:55,891 --> 00:50:55,892

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:50:55,892 --> 00:50:57,175

which is really fun.

:

00:50:57,175 --> 00:50:58,075

It's so fun.

:

00:50:58,345 --> 00:51:04,555

And, the other thing is because I use

the title coach, then I'm not limited by,

:

00:51:04,585 --> 00:51:08,395

you know, like when I, if, if I'm, I'm a

licensed clinical social worker, but I can

:

00:51:08,395 --> 00:51:10,405

only do that in the bounds of California

:

00:51:11,161 --> 00:51:11,581

Russell Newton: Right.

:

00:51:11,605 --> 00:51:11,606

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:11,606 --> 00:51:14,155

unfortunately we don't have reciprocal

licensing in the United States.

:

00:51:14,155 --> 00:51:16,375

So you have to get licensed

in each state, which is

:

00:51:16,676 --> 00:51:17,206

Russell Newton: Each state.

:

00:51:17,206 --> 00:51:17,486

Yeah.

:

00:51:17,786 --> 00:51:17,787

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:17,787 --> 00:51:18,715

anyway, that's the rule.

:

00:51:18,715 --> 00:51:21,175

So, but coaching I can do anywhere.

:

00:51:21,841 --> 00:51:22,351

Russell Newton: Okay.

:

00:51:22,651 --> 00:51:22,652

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:22,652 --> 00:51:27,445

So anywhere anybody is in the world,

I can do coaching with them and it

:

00:51:27,445 --> 00:51:30,355

is such an honor and so much fun.

:

00:51:30,355 --> 00:51:31,315

I love what I do.

:

00:51:34,426 --> 00:51:35,591

Russell Newton: It, is fascinating.

:

00:51:35,591 --> 00:51:36,911

You have such a great insight.

:

00:51:36,911 --> 00:51:37,121

Somebody.

:

00:51:37,961 --> 00:51:43,391

So many pieces of wisdom, I would

imagine you are a fantastic, a fantastic

:

00:51:43,391 --> 00:51:46,931

life coach if anybody's looking

for a clinical licensed clinical

:

00:51:46,931 --> 00:51:49,265

psychologist to be their life coach.

:

00:51:49,565 --> 00:51:49,566

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:49,566 --> 00:51:50,391

Social Mm-hmm.

:

00:51:51,142 --> 00:51:51,472

Russell Newton: okay.

:

00:51:51,472 --> 00:51:51,802

Thank you.

:

00:51:51,802 --> 00:51:52,312

Sorry for the,

:

00:51:52,396 --> 00:51:52,397

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:52,397 --> 00:51:52,516

Sorry,

:

00:51:52,612 --> 00:51:53,362

Russell Newton: that I,

:

00:51:53,416 --> 00:51:53,417

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:53,417 --> 00:51:54,226

Gotta say it right.

:

00:51:54,982 --> 00:51:55,372

Russell Newton: okay.

:

00:51:55,672 --> 00:51:58,332

It's important, and I don't

know enough about it to, to even

:

00:51:58,332 --> 00:51:59,622

get it pronounced correctly.

:

00:51:59,832 --> 00:52:03,062

I also noticed that one of the first,

blog posts you refer to is that on

:

00:52:03,062 --> 00:52:06,002

your page at the moment at least, is

the Enneagram, which I'd hope to talk

:

00:52:06,002 --> 00:52:08,262

about, but, maybe in a future episode.

:

00:52:08,742 --> 00:52:11,202

and so many other things I

think that we could discuss.

:

00:52:11,202 --> 00:52:14,412

But, here's my second and final

question since we've answered the last

:

00:52:14,412 --> 00:52:16,212

one already, and then we'll be done.

:

00:52:18,837 --> 00:52:22,387

I wrap up the podcast with a, a mention

of Stephen Covey's book, the Seven

:

00:52:22,387 --> 00:52:26,767

Habits of Highly Successful People, and

I ask our guests, what do they find in

:

00:52:26,767 --> 00:52:32,717

their personal lives that they would,

that they consider the non-negotiables,

:

00:52:32,817 --> 00:52:35,157

that make them, the person they are.

:

00:52:35,522 --> 00:52:38,037

And, and I'm not asking for

a seven, but do you have, do

:

00:52:38,037 --> 00:52:39,087

you have a handful of things?

:

00:52:39,427 --> 00:52:41,887

I have a feeling you, you'd

probably meditate, or do

:

00:52:41,887 --> 00:52:43,417

some mindfulness practices.

:

00:52:43,499 --> 00:52:48,297

p perhaps you are, have certain physical

activities you do, or, or certain things

:

00:52:48,297 --> 00:52:51,747

that from day to day in your morning

stack, as we were discussed in a previous

:

00:52:51,747 --> 00:52:55,437

episode, that you would share with our

listeners that they should consider or

:

00:52:55,437 --> 00:53:00,357

that have proven efficacy for, for people

in their own self-development process.

:

00:53:01,071 --> 00:53:01,072

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:53:01,072 --> 00:53:05,271

Well, I teach something called Urban

Gorilla Meditation, and I call it

:

00:53:05,271 --> 00:53:10,401

that because, because it's, most of

us don't have time to sit for an hour,

:

00:53:10,401 --> 00:53:13,871

an hour and a half, you know, so it's,

it's an abbreviated process, but, The

:

00:53:13,871 --> 00:53:17,981

important things for me and that I

teach people are one, have a gratitude

:

00:53:17,981 --> 00:53:20,921

practice every single day, twice a day.

:

00:53:21,161 --> 00:53:22,481

Go through what you're grateful for.

:

00:53:22,691 --> 00:53:25,061

And it doesn't necessarily

have to be anything huge.

:

00:53:25,061 --> 00:53:27,131

It can be your favorite

purple dinosaur socks.

:

00:53:27,191 --> 00:53:29,861

Just, I'm, I'm so happy and

grateful I have these socks.

:

00:53:30,071 --> 00:53:32,261

I'm so happy and grateful I

got to be on your podcast.

:

00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:35,591

I'm so happy and grateful

that you're such a lovely man.

:

00:53:35,771 --> 00:53:39,041

I'm so happy and grateful for all

the people that we're reaching today.

:

00:53:39,221 --> 00:53:40,301

You know, that kind of thing.

:

00:53:40,751 --> 00:53:43,691

Now, what we know, again,

we're back to brains.

:

00:53:43,841 --> 00:53:48,911

If you practice that over about 28

days, you literally rewire your brain.

:

00:53:49,211 --> 00:53:52,901

You become more resilient, your sleep

improves, you have more frustration,

:

00:53:52,901 --> 00:53:54,221

tolerance, lots of good things.

:

00:53:55,121 --> 00:53:58,921

another one is, my work, my work

is a spiritual practice for me.

:

00:54:00,226 --> 00:54:02,596

It's about giving back to the

universe, and I consider it a

:

00:54:02,596 --> 00:54:04,906

sacred honor and a great joy.

:

00:54:04,906 --> 00:54:07,366

So my work is part of my pleasure.

:

00:54:07,486 --> 00:54:09,866

And then being with animals, of course,

:

00:54:10,166 --> 00:54:10,496

Russell Newton: Okay,

:

00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:10,521

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:54:10,521 --> 00:54:11,450

is a great joy.

:

00:54:11,510 --> 00:54:17,240

and also, absolutely physical exercise

and eating foods that don't have

:

00:54:17,240 --> 00:54:18,365

names you can't pronounce in 'em.

:

00:54:20,636 --> 00:54:21,926

Russell Newton: there's

more than five ingredients.

:

00:54:21,926 --> 00:54:22,586

Don't eat it right?

:

00:54:22,586 --> 00:54:23,216

Is that what they say?

:

00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:23,241

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:54:23,241 --> 00:54:23,420

Yeah.

:

00:54:26,666 --> 00:54:27,746

Russell Newton: An amazing conversation.

:

00:54:27,926 --> 00:54:28,256

Dr.

:

00:54:28,256 --> 00:54:30,056

Cochrane, thank you so much for your time.

:

00:54:30,246 --> 00:54:31,386

listeners, Dr.

:

00:54:31,386 --> 00:54:32,436

Margaret Cochrane.

:

00:54:32,526 --> 00:54:34,886

You can, check out her website at Dr.

:

00:54:34,886 --> 00:54:39,516

Cochrane, C-O-C-H-R-A-N, dr cochran.com.

:

00:54:40,026 --> 00:54:40,416

and Dr.

:

00:54:40,416 --> 00:54:43,421

Margaret, I hope, I, I hope you've

enjoyed this session as much as I have

:

00:54:43,421 --> 00:54:44,621

because it's been very enlightening.

:

00:54:45,071 --> 00:54:47,201

There's so many things I

think we could talk about.

:

00:54:47,411 --> 00:54:51,231

Perhaps we can, have a follow up

episode, after some time has passed

:

00:54:51,231 --> 00:54:54,181

and, maybe our listeners have some

questions that they want to drop in

:

00:54:54,181 --> 00:54:55,561

and we can refer to them later on.

:

00:54:55,921 --> 00:54:55,922

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:54:55,922 --> 00:54:56,621

I'd be delighted.

:

00:54:56,641 --> 00:54:57,261

Thank you so much.

:

00:54:57,441 --> 00:54:58,141

It was so much

:

00:54:58,217 --> 00:54:59,237

Russell Newton: Oh, fantastic.

:

00:54:59,537 --> 00:55:00,167

Fantastic.

:

00:55:00,167 --> 00:55:02,297

and that wraps up our episode for today.

:

00:55:02,297 --> 00:55:04,337

Thank you for joining us

and we'll see you next week.

Links

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube