How to be a Psychologist when you're not in the mood!

00:29:

Hi welcome along to the aspiring psychologist podcast. Um, if you are listening on the day that this, um, is released, it will be Monday, the 9th of May. Then you are in luck. You can listen, come along, live to the final planned, compassionate Q and a, which you can grab via all of my socials, all of them. Um, I'm on LinkedIn, um, which is Dr. Mary Ann, Trent, um, and the same for Instagram, the same for Twitter. And then I am good thinking psychological services for both YouTube and for Facebook, if you are on YouTube, it's only fair to come along and subscribe. And whilst, you know, just like, like a bit of the content and flinging a few little nice comments, um, you know, you know, it makes sense and I don't often remind you of this. Um, but all of the podcast episodes are available to watch on YouTube.

01:38:

Um, if it's just me chatting because frankly I don't always want to put my makeup on. And, um, yeah. So if there's an interview, it is usually, um, stuff that you can watch me and the interview guest. Um, but it's been a while since it's just been me. So I thought I'd check in with you, see how you are finding the guest interviews. How are you finding the podcast more generally as well? I would love any feedback that you've got. Um, and if you really feel so inclined, if you've got like a spare couple of moments, if you go along to the apple, um, podcast app, find my podcast, the aspiring psychologist podcast, and then scroll down right to the bottom right below the trailer. And then you can rate, and if you've got, um, a few more moments, you can leave me a little, you, it would be so gratefully received.

02:33:

And if you really love the podcast, you could consider making a small donation to help cover the costs of making it and producing it and hosting it and transcribing it and all of that good stuff. If you would like to do that, you can head to my link tree account, which you can find on all of my socials, the details for the link tree account are also in the show notes for this episode. So today's episode is all about being, you know, there as a source of support for people. Um, as we do, when we are working, um, in psychology, whatever branch of psychology you are in, um, and maybe you don't even work in psychology currently, or maybe you never are going to, because I know some people contact me and they're like, I I'm not ever gonna be a psychologist, but I do really enjoy listening, um, to your staff.

03:38:

So whoever you are, whatever you do, thanks for listening. Um, should just say, uh, if the audio of quality of this is not quite as good as usual, it's because, um, well, it's, it's in keeping with the theme of today. Um, can't be bothered. OK. so I haven't got my professional mic and things out. I'm just going rogue with the AirPods, but it's on brand it's on brand and my lovely friend, Michaela, um, who specializes in, um, perfectionism and letting it go. I hope that she will absolutely salute this episode, even if the audio is not quite as good as it is when it's usually my solo endeavors, you may have noticed at the beginning, the audio was a little bit DOR. And then I invested in an expensive mic, which didn't work very well. I'd like to rerecord. Um, and then we stumbled across a mic which worked really well, but it is quite an involved process.

04:40::

And today I just thought, oh, I don't want to I don't wanna get all the mic out. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna go rogue with my, um, with my AirPods and my zoom account. So please forgive me. But yeah, I digress. So when we are working with clients in whatever capacity you are working with them, you are always a human and as humans, we don't always wanna do our job. Okay. And that is what today is all about, you know, so this was inspired, um, by me having a bit of a, a sad moment. I don't know if you guys have ever watched the most wonderful show. Um, it's called, this is us and it's on, um, Amazon. And I first discovered it when I was 36. Um, and I was on, um, sick leave from my job, um, because my dad had just died.

05:41::

Um, and I won't be spoiling anything if you haven't already watched it. When I tell you that, um, it's all about siblings, um, who turn, um, 36 in the first episode. Um, and it felt so very, um, appropriate and relevant to my life. And so it's felt like a really personal show for me. And then on Friday I found out that this is gonna be the last series of this is us and I just wasn't ready for that because I'm sure originally they said there was gonna be like 10 series and this is only series six. And so I wasn't ready. And so as I'm watching the episodes, I'm feeling myself wanting to cry all the way through them, because I'm just not ready to say goodbye to these characters because it' feels so personal to me and my life. Um, and yeah, this is kind of, I guess, relevant to psychology as well.

06:43:

Isn't it? Because sometimes, you know, we will have deep connections with our clients and the people we are working with and staff teams that we're working with. And we won't feel ready to say goodbye. Um, and sometimes our clients won't feel ready to say goodbye either. And due to service pressures, um, or due to service limits or due to, you know, you moving on or them moving on, or, you know, them no longer meeting the criteria for service. If they're getting better, you may need to say goodbye to each other before you are ready to, but this is a whole separate issue that I might well come back to at the end of this podcast episode. So today's, um, topic is how do we do this psychology or work Larkey when you're not feeling it? You know, because sometimes we wanna lay on our sofa and, you know, watch this is us.

07:42:

That's what we wanna do. Sometimes we don't want to be, you know, get in all up in someone else's business and trying to sort out, um, tricky things. And I guess the important thing to, to work out here is if it is, you know, just an air and a flow issue, sometimes we will feel further apart from, you know, wanting to be at work. And sometimes we will feel very unwell and that's the difference, you know? So if you feel like you might be burned out, if you feel like you can't, you know, put your own things to one side for long enough to do therapy or intervention or assessment with, uh, with a client, then that is maybe a sign, um, that you ought not to be at work at the moment. And whether you could discuss that with your supervisor, whether you could discuss that with your GP, even, um, about whether a period of time off work might be, um, might be the best thing for you at this present moment.

08:53:

Um, however, what I'm talking about is the general malaise of day to day life and on the whole, um, even on days when I think, oh, I'd rather stay in bed today. Um, and you might be like, I can't believe this qualified clinical psychologist is saying that. Um, because I know when I, before I, um, became a qualified psychologist before I became a trainee, I kind of was thinking, you know, this is the holy grail. When I'm a trainee, when I'm qualified, you know, life will be amazing. And I will have a spurring in my step every day and, you know, and all of the traffic lights will be on green when I come to them and I'll be so happy. I will just want to skip everywhere. You know, like my five year old does, which is adorable. Um, but yeah, I am not quite so perky as my five year old, quite a lot of the time, um, life will get its dents in you, whether you are doing the job you want to do or not. Um, and so how do we go about doing everything we do if you're not really feeling it on any given day? Um, and I will share my little, um, hints and tips with you, um, after this short break. So have a little listen and I will see on the other side of this,

11:09::

My name is Ola AMU. I am a recent psychology graduate from Ireland. I am also an aspiring clinical psychologist, Dr. Marion's book, the clinical psychologist collective has been so helpful to me on this journey to becoming a clinical psychologist. As I plan to continue postgraduate studies in the UK, I found it extremely useful that this book provided in depth information on the UK DCLinPsy application process. I enjoyed reading about the experiences of both qualified and training clinical psychologists. The various narratives were my favorite part of the book as everyone's story was different and it provided amazing insights into the clinical psychology journey. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology and aspires to become a clinical psychologist.

12:51:

Okay. So when I am well enough to be at work, I do honestly find, um, that once I start a session with a client that any feeling of rather being on the sofa, um, dies away. You know, it's not an issue anymore. Um, I genuinely enjoy my job. Um, I really enjoy creating content for you as well. So although, although I was feeling like I'd rather watch, this is us, um, once I get started, I really enjoy it. Um, and I speak to you on a weekend and I do usually record these midweek, but you maybe have to hear in my voice, um, that I haven't, I haven't been fully well this week. So I felt, kind of felt okay. But as one of my clients said, it sounded like I'd been, um, left in the rain outside. Um, cause my voice went very squeaky and had a bit of a cough and um, bit of a sniffly nose.

13:58:

So, um, I wasn't really podcast ready in the week. So it's led to me just having a little bit more of a hustle, um, to get this done. Um, but I'm really am enjoying the consistency of this podcast. So when I first launched it, I was, um, creating, you know, I created the first eight and they were good to go. Um, uh, and you know, and I probably should have recorded more at that point. I did did some along the way, but, um, it's got to the stage now where, um, yeah, I'm, I'm running out of, um, of already, uh, created content and I'm having to do this one, um, the weekend before it's, um, due out. So, um, you know, this is, you know, just pulling out the bag real world style, but, um, I really, you know, I thought, oh, I could give it could give it a miss for one week.

14:54:

And I thought, I don't want to, I want the consistency of showing up for you week in, week out. Um, because I know that many of you, because you've told me you lovely people, um, are really enjoying having this podcast as part of your weekly routine. So many of you are listening to it, um, on your commute, um, as you, um, go to work perhaps on a Monday, some of you are running to the sound of my voice. Um, , I don't know what your tempo is like. cause I've also been told I'm quite relaxing to listen to. Um, maybe you are all about the jingles. I dunno. Um, but yeah, um, you know, I've become the fabric, not the fabric that sounds really big heading, I've become some of the fabric of your day to day lives, which is a real honor, you know, a real privilege.

15:54:

And as I record this, um, right now we are at about 5,700 downloads. And so this is, you know, this is really exciting. I'm really honored that so many of you that so many of you are really valuing and enjoying the content and it means a great deal to me that you listen to it, that you like it and, and that you tell me that you like it as well. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, but yeah, so thinking about, um, how we deal with this stuff, you know, so sometimes it can be really interesting and useful in fact, to have conversations about this sort of stuff in supervision with your supervisor. Um, thinking about, you know, whether this shows up more for some clients than others. So this is where the practice of, you know, perhaps having a reflective journal can be useful as well.

16:29:

that, you know, my, you know,: 1230

17:58:

So yeah, it's not always necessarily about the clients sometimes it's about the time of day. Um, sometimes it's about the emotional, um, load of everything else on your caseload as well. So maybe you are really enjoying, um, you know, the therapy work that you're doing, but maybe you're finding the team harder work or you are finding it, um, difficult with your supervisor, um, or you're feeling generally a bit pressured or, um, unsupported. So it's not always about the clients, but if it is, you know, you notice in your reflective journals or in, or your reflective practice, um, if you notice that it seems to be the same client that you are finding it hard to feel energized by then, it's definitely worth discussing that in supervision. Um, and it might also be worth thinking about what that client brings to the room as well. Um, and a virtual room counts as a room as well.

19:00:

Um, you know, are they low energy? Are they needing more from you? Are they leaving you feeling drained? Are you finding that you are having to stifle yarns as you are together? And if that's happening, it can often be worth thinking about whether there is a role for you. So I'm not saying there isn't a role, but whether a role is being left open for you. Um, because if you are feeling redundant, you know, you are making you feel like you want to yawn, then it might be that you're being talked at and any kind of opportunity that you have to try and open up a conversation or have a more functional, helpful session is being shut down or can't be responded. Um, and it's perhaps feeling a bit more one sided. And so that can feel a little bit less than exciting. Um, you know, if you find yourself clock watching, then that is not good use of your time, and it's not great use of the client's time as well.

20:13:

You know, and people often, um, will start therapy with me and they're like, oh, I know this is gonna get worse before it gets better. Um, but my take on that is that with appropriate, um, warming up to each other and absolutely with the appropriate stabilization, there might well be some tricky realizations along the way, but I would really hope certainly now that I've been qualified for, um, 11 years almost, I would really hope that my clients are now comfortably staying within their window of tolerance. By the time we get, get to anything tricky. And sometimes I find that I'm having to undo or redo stuff that's been done, not quite so, um, skillfully in the past that has left clients feeling, um, vulnerable, scared, um, you know, out of control and as a result, a bit terrified actually. Um, so yeah, when, when clients are coming to you, you know, almost ready to be hurt, I think that that's our, um, our lead to do stabilization work and to really make sure, um, that the client can handle thinking about these difficult things by the time you actually get round to them.

21:45:

One of my top tips, um, for just making sure that you are managing, um, things okay. Is if it's in keeping with your requirements at your individual work, um, check and see if I have check with you management, if I am taking annual leave, then I will usually try to leave the first day of annual leave clear in my diary so that I can battle through the, um, email backlog so that I can fight any fires that might have, um, you know, broken out in my absence. Um, and so that I can probably finish reports that I need to do, um, and paperwork like that, like, and paperwork and bits, and so that I can finish any paperwork and bits and pieces and just make sure that I am as available as possible to clients rather than freting about what might be at the bottom of my inbox.

22:46:

Um, because when I've worked in, um, mental health services, you know, you go off for a week and you hope everything will be okay, but, um, you know, you don't know what, um, what emails you might have had. And so, yeah, my little kindness to myself has been, um, to, um, to plan that time in and similarly, um, on occasions where I have left jobs, um, where I have left, um, clinical placements on training, I have tried to give myself two solid weeks of non client contact at the end of any contract. Um, because these reports do take time, um, you know, sorting through all the stuff to shut down your role and to, to leave things safe and write, um, care plans and discharge letters and, you know, have goodbye lunches with your team and things like that, that takes time. Um, and so yes, you, you know, you, that is potentially two more weeks worth of where you could be seeing clients, but this stuff matters.

23:52:

You do need to have all the stuff I just mentioned in place. You know, it may, you don't want to be writing that from home, you know, when you're not being paid to do it, um, you want to be able to use your, you know, your compassionate, well rested self, um, in that important communication, um, with your clients. I love writing therapeutic letters. Um, I really, I, you know, I really enjoy that. And I often do that with a client, um, as well, um, in one of our final sessions, but if I haven't done that, um, or if I need to have a more formal, um, closing report, then that needs to be written, and that does take time. So please do give yourself time as you wind down, um, from holidays and as you wind down from, um, from work roles altogether, um, before you move on to a new and exciting work role, um, it can be tricky to, to stay, you know, with your head in the game when you got your sites set on a new or different role, but, um, yeah, whatever's going on for you right now.

25:09:

Um, you know, sending you, um, my good wishes and my compassionate vibes as ever. Um, thank you for listening to today. Um, I have no idea how long this episode is currently, and I know I started off talking about something at the beginning and I said like, oh, that's kind of not related. I maybe come back to it, but it might be that I need to, I didn't write it down. So it might be that I need to do a new podcast episode on that. Um, so, um, I hope you find this helpful if you've got any feedback for me, um, please, please do let me know. Um, all reviews and testimonials are so gratefully received. Um, yeah. And if you are on, uh, my LinkedIn, um, Dr. Maryanne, Trent, LinkedIn, um, you can actually write me a testimonial on there as well. And the way that you do that is you go to my profile page and then you scroll down, down, down, down past the skills, um, and then you will see where some other people have written recommendations and you just create your own.

26:17:

Um, and then I'll be able to approve that. And we'll add that to my profile and everybody will have a great day , that's what I'm saying. Okay. Thank you so much for being part of my world. If you are listening at any point, other than the 9th of May, then you should be able to watch all of the compassionate Q and as on replay, by going, um, to the playlist, um, on my YouTube, which is good thinking psychological services, but yeah, it, whatever your feelings stay kind to yourself and know that you are only having these thoughts because you are human. So if some days you can't really be bothered, um, you know, that is just because the way that our brains are put together, but if you find that those days are becoming more and more common, then it's a good idea to chat that through.

27:07:

But with your supervisor, it might even be useful to get some therapy yourself, just think about what that might be about, because we want you to not to burn out in this career. We want you to feel like generally speaking, it's really something that you are impasioned about. Um, and honestly that is the way I feel about most of my days. Um, so yeah, I want you to want you to feel the same. Um, but yeah, thank you so much, um, for listening and I will look forward to, um, speaking to you again soon. Don't forget that new episodes drop 6:00 AM every Monday in UK time. Um, and if you subscribe, it'll come straight to you, take care, have a good day. Bye.

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