In this episode, we take the next step beyond identifying “meism” and begin exploring God’s answer to it. Rather than offering techniques or quick fixes, this teaching points listeners toward a deeper spiritual reality that determines the health of every relationship. Whether you’re married or single, this episode invites you to consider what truly governs your life, why spiritual stagnation affects relationships, and how genuine transformation begins from the inside out.

Checkout these other Family Fortress Ministries Podcasts:

TIME FOR THREE daily couples devotional: https://time-for-three.captivate.fm/listen

RELATIONSHIP REALITIES: https://relationship-realities.captivate.fm/listen

Donate: https://familyfortress.org/donate

Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

And now here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

Paul is picturing that within each one of us as a child of God, there's a tree.

And the Holy Spirit is like a tree within us that's planted within me.

And God plants this tree of the Holy Spirit that will yield the fruit of love, joy, peace, so that I can get rid of the leaves of self centeredness, selfishness, fornication, idolatry, hatred, envy, all.

All these fleshly leaves that would be within me.

So we need to understand that we need to let the Spirit of God take control of our life.

So here's the heart of the matter and here's the question that we need to look at today.

How am I filled with the Holy Spirit of God?

Just how am I filled with the Holy Spirit of God?

Now let me stop and say, even though I'm focusing this on the marriage relationship here this morning, I believe the greatest need, again, whether you're married or whether you're single here in this building this morning is for us to have a fresh anointing and a fresh filling and to walk in the power and anointing of the Holy Spirit of God.

And so if you're here and you're single, don't tune me out.

Listen very, very closely as we talk about how can I be filled with the Spirit of God?

Now when we talk about this, unfortunately, there's many, many weird things that you can hear preached about this.

I mean, you don't need, listen, you don't need to go through some aerobic exercise to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God.

Each one of you don't need to walk down here, let me whack you on the head.

To be filled with the Holy Spirit of God.

So there's some strange things that are taught and preached on when it comes to this thing of the filling of the Holy Spirit of God.

But I don't think it really, God didn't mean for it to be that mystical.

And it isn't that mystical.

We really need to understand what God is saying here about being filled.

Now, the word filled with.

Now catch this.

The word field is a word picture that pictures the wind, listening, pushing a sailboat across the water.

So if you can picture that in your mind, it's like a sailboat that's on a lake.

And the wind is pushing that sailboat across the lake.

Now, the port is where you are right now.

The destination is where you want to be, and that is to be closer to Jesus Christ.

And the wind that's blowing you from where you are right now and filling your sail on your sailboat to get you closer to Jesus is the Holy Spirit of God.

And that's the picture I think, that God wants us to see.

Now let me ask you a question.

What does a sailboat need when it's sitting on the water?

What does it need to do to reach its destination?

It needs to set its.

What needs to set its sail.

It needs to raise its sail so the wind can fill that sail and blow that sail across the water.

In John 4, Jesus tells us the Holy Spirit is like a stiff breeze.

And many times in the word of God, the Holy Spirit is pictured as wind.

Now, our destination is to be close to Jesus.

The question is, do we have our sail set toward Jesus?

If you're walking in darkness, child of God, then your sail is not set.

If you're not making progress in your Christian life, you're not getting closer to Jesus Christ, then your sail is not set.

If you're living in strife and contention in your marriage, then your sale is not set.

If you're living in strife and contention, Listen, as a young person with your parents, then your sail is not set.

So the question is, how is my sail set so that I'm blown by the sweet wind of the Holy Spirit of God to get closer to Jesus?

Now, up until this point in Ephesians 5, turn back over to Ephesians 5.

And up until this point in Ephesians 5, Paul has talked about the Holy Spirit on different occasions.

And this is the culmination, I believe, of these teachings when he says, but be filled with the Holy Spirit of God.

Now, I want to.

I want you to look at five references just, very, very quickly with me, and I want to ask you five questions concerning being filled with the Holy Spirit of God and your sail being set.

Look with me at chapter one in Ephesians, the context of this passage.

You look at verse 13.

In verse 13, it says, in whom ye also trusted.

After that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, in whom also after that ye believed ye were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.

So we see in this verse we're told that when we put our faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit of God.

So here's the first question.

You would ask yourself, am I a Christian?

Do I know Jesus Christ as my Lord and as my Savior?

You cannot have the Spirit of God unless you have a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ.

Look with me at chapter two and look at verse 18, chapter two and verse 18.

For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father.

So in this verse, it says, by Jesus, we have access to the Father through the Spirit.

And this is a picture of prayer.

The Holy Spirit enables us to pray and have access to the Father.

So the second question we'd ask concerning do I have my cell set?

Is my cell filled with the Holy Spirit of God?

Am I someone who regularly prays?

Am I someone who's in prayer?

Do you talk to the Father about things?

I'm not talking about?

Do you just have a time of day?

You get down on your knees for five minutes, But I'm talking about continually.

We're praying without ceasing.

Are you continually talking to the Father?

Are you continually in prayer?

Look at chapter three and look at verse five.

Which in other ages was not made known unto the sons of men, as it is now revealed unto his holy apostles and prophets.

Notice it says, by the Spirit.

It tells us that the prophets and apostles were inspired by the Holy Spirit of God.

The writers of the Old Testament, New Testament, were led by the Spirit of God.

So here's a question.

Are you reading your Bible?

Are you reading your Bible?

Are you meditating on the Word of God?

Are you studying the Word of God?

Are you studying the Scriptures?

Number one, am I a child of God?

Number two, do I have a regular time of prayer in my life?

Am I praying to the Father?

Number three, am I reading and meditating and studying the Word of God?

Now look at, with me at the fourth question.

Look at chapter four.

Let's see here.

Chapter three.

Look at chapter three and verse 16.

Okay, same chapter.

Verse 16 says that he would grant you according to the riches of his glory to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man.

Now, as we look at this verse, it says, the Spirit of God empowers us for ministry.

The Spirit of God empowers us for service.

So the fourth question we'd ask here is, are you serving God?

Are you involved in ministry?

Is your life committed to God?

Am I a Christian?

Am I praying?

Am I reading my Bible?

Am I serving God?

Am I involved in ministry in some way?

And then look with me at chapter four and look at verse three.

And this is a fifth one.

Endeavoring to keep unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Now, this talks about knitting people together in unity or spiritual friendships through the Spirit of God.

So the fifth question is, are you unified with your brothers and sisters in Christ?

Are you unified with your brothers and sisters in Christ?

Is there offense?

Is there unforgiveness?

Is there some disunity in your relationships with your brothers and sisters in Christ?

Are you a Christian who prays, studies your Bible, serves the Lord, spends time with Christian friends, building Christian unity?

And I believe this is how, as we look at this verse, your sail is set by the Holy Spirit of God, and you're empowered by God.

And we might summarize by saying this.

We must dethrone self, and we must enthrone the Lord Jesus Christ in our life.

He must increase and I must decrease.

Now, let me say also to be filled with the Holy Spirit, we must not do something too.

And Ephesians 4, 26, it says, and grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.

That is, we're not to grieve the Spirit of God.

Now, that word grieve is a very, very strong word.

In fact, it's as strong as it would be if someone in your family died and you went to a funeral home and you were grieving for them.

It grieves God when you're not filled with the Holy Spirit of God, when you're not walking in the Spirit of God.

And we might ask a question, how do we grieve God then?

Well, as a Christian, we grieve God when we sin against God, and we grieve God when we are disobedient to God.

When we sin and are disobedient, the Holy Spirit is grieved.

And it stops us, we might say, from moving closer to Jesus.

It's like letting down your sail in that sailboat and you stop moving towards Jesus.

But praise God.

In First John, chapter one and verse nine, it says, if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

God says, listen, if you're here today and you're walking in sin, if there's sin in your life as a child of God, he says, listen, if you'll confess your sin, God will forgive you of that sin.

If you'll repent of that sin, God says, I'll forgive you of that sin.

And it's like letting your sail back up on your sailboat.

Now, God says, as we look at these verses, there's three evidences also of being filled with the Holy Spirit of God.

The first one, he says in verse 19, is singing.

He says, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.

So God says, if you are filled with the Holy Spirit of God, there's going to be some evidences of that in your life.

And we ought to look at these evidences and ask ourselves these questions.

Do I have these evidences in my life?

The first one is singing I like in that verse.

When I began to study this verse.

I like the phrase making melody in your heart.

That phrase in the Greek language literally says, to strum your heart like a musical instrument.

I like what Charles Spurgeon says.

He says the most beautiful harp you ever saw has no music in itself, but must be struck by the fingers of a musician.

But the Holy Spirit makes us living harps.

I like that which from themselves pour forth a natural and spontaneous melody.

People filled with the Holy Spirit of God are people who sing to God, are people who sing one to another.

There's a song in their heart in praise and thankfulness to God.

And the question is not your ability to sing praise God, but your desire to sing.

That is, many of us can't sing very well.

Isn't the question of whether you can sing.

The question is, do you have a desire to sing?

Have you found yourself walking around many times, sitting in the car, and there's a melody that comes to your heart?

Will you just start praising God, singing to yourself, singing outwardly to others?

This is an evidence of the Holy Spirit of God.

Another evidence is giving thanks.

Look at verse 20.

It says, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So we see this second evidence is to always give thanks.

And it says, in all things.

Now, that's not easy to do.

I mean, to give thanks God in every situation, to give thanks to God for everything that comes my way.

Can I do that?

Well, God says that we are to do that.

I heard of a pastor who had been facing repeated attacks from a very negative and critical woman in his congregation.

And every time he saw this woman, she would come up to him and give him a tongue lashing about something she didn't like about the church or.

Or about him.

She was making his life miserable and his job practically unbearable.

So he called his preacher dad and asked him for some advice.

And his dad's remedy to the problem was very simple.

He said, son, the next time that lady starts criticizing you, making you miserable, just ask her to get on her knees with you and pray with her.

He said, when she does, you simply say this.

Dear God, I want to thank you that this lady is not my wife.

And you can be thankful in all things.

Now, sometimes you can't rejoice in trials of your life because they're very hard and very, very painful.

But if our goal is to be in our life, is to be closer to Jesus, if we picture our life, and I like this word picture, if we picture our life like that sailboat on the water, and our life's goal is to delight in the Lord.

Our life's goal is to have a passion for Jesus.

Our life's goal is to be closer to Jesus.

Every day, in every way, you and we are allowing a sail to be set and we're being pushed toward Jesus.

Even when these trials come, we can still rejoice in the Lord.

We can still be thankful to God.

I mean, you can say, my health, I've got a health problem.

But when you've got a health problem, if it makes you focus on the Lord, it makes you depend on him more.

It makes you more in the image of Jesus Christ.

We can be thankful.

If you've got a financial problem, you don't know how you're going to answer this financial situation, and it drives you to your knees and makes you come closer to the Lord, then we can be thankful for that.

You can have a marriage problem and maybe as a husband or wife, and it's made you start praying, it's made you start getting closer to God.

We can be thankful even in that midst of that trial or that problem, because it is getting us closer to the Lord.

All trials will do one of two things in our life, I found.

Either create greater isolation with God or it'll create greater intimacy with God.

And unfortunately, many people let it create greater isolation with God.

And God says, listen, I want it to be a time that you can get to come closer to me and create greater intimacy in your life with me.

Now, there's a third thing, and I want to mention this in closing.

And that is it says submitting to one another in the fear of God, the fear Christ.

Now, notice, in this verse, it says submitting to one another.

And I just want to bring this out for a second because I want to just clarify this.

It doesn't mean submitting to everybody in this verse.

Egalitarians today would say this is a picture of mutual submission.

It negates the husband wife relationship of a husband.

Being head of his wife, he is to mutually submit to her, she mutually submits to him.

This verse does not mean to submit to everybody, but to submit to the God ordained authorities in your life.

That is, God is saying that we are to submit to those God placed.

God ordained authorities that he has placed in our life.

It means if we're filled with the Holy Spirit of God, we will joyfully and unselfishly submit to the authorities that God has placed over us in our life.

A wife doesn't submit to her husband out of duty, rather becomes submission out of delight.

Because God has ordained him as her head and she unselfishly submits to him in the fear of Christ.

She looks to Jesus and trusts Jesus as she submits to him.

A husband who's filled with the Holy Spirit.

God loves his wife even as Christ loves us.

He exercises unselfish servant leadership.

He isn't a husband who's domineering.

He isn't a husband who who's harsh.

He's a husband who sees his wife as a precious gift of God and is an image bearer of equal value.

He respects her gifts and intelligence and allows her to complete him and be the help me that God intended for her to be.

He doesn't treat her like a doormat, but he's willing to unselfishly sacrifice himself for her.

When you're a spirit filled husband and you're a spirit filled wife, your marriage becomes weistic and not meistic.

And your relationship, listen, it can be a celebration, you know, and I say this often, I often say, you know, in one of the greatest testimonies, and I believe this with all my heart, one of the greatest testimonies.

Listen folks, in the world around us today, for those people around us who are lost without Jesus Christ, for families around us, husbands and wives around us, there's a lot of hurting people all in this community here that are looking for answers.

And listen, when they look at your marriage relationship, they ought to see a picture of Jesus Christ and his bride.

They ought to see a picture of Christianity.

When your children look at their mom and dad's marriage relationship, they ought to see a picture of Christianity.

And the only way they're going to see that the only way your family is going to be that way is if you are filled with the Holy Spirit of God.

If you can get rid of this depraved self, self centered, selfish, mystic person that lives within each one of us as flesh and be controlled and empowered by the spirit of God.

Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast, and if you feel encouraged by today's teaching, give us a follow so we can invite you back and share us on your socials so more marriages and families can be strengthened and fortified through the truths of God's Word.

Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's Word.