Artwork for podcast Unfuck Your Life: An Audio Drama
7 - Chaos and Rosie's Natural Demise
Episode 7 • 20th February 2025 • Unfuck Your Life: An Audio Drama • Jen deHaan
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Tog starts a new project called the Grackleton Gazette, and quickly gets in over their head at the very first event held... a Meet and Greet.

Credits, contact, and more info

This comedy audio drama / audio fiction series was created, written, improvised, edited, and produced by Jen deHaan. All dialog in the episodes is fully improvised.

Voices: Jen deHaan (any voices by guests are noted above)

Artwork, logo, and graphics: Jen deHaan.

Transcript: For each episode on their page on this show's page at StereoForest here.

More show info/contact: stereoforest.com/uyl

Support the show (one time tip): stereoforest.com/tip

Review this show: On Podchaser here www.podchaser.com/unfuck

Chat in Discord about this show: discord.gg/qBQCJP8Swf

Comedy and audio fiction newsletter: StereoForest.com/subscribe

Follow on social media: YouTube, Bluesky, TikTok

This podcast is a StereoForest production. Made and produced in British Columbia, Canada.

Mentioned in this episode:

Toque and Trowel! Coming soon from StereoForest.

Ready to dig in? To find nourishment and strength right in your own kitchen and garden? Stereoforest.com presents Toque and Trowel, hosted by Jen deHaan in Canada. This is your weekly podcast for practical gardening tips for easy to grow food that works. Learn how to whip up affordable, low-effort plant-based meals that are healthy and taste amazing. And discover ways to tend to your mental well-being in today's world. Find resilience in the connection between Kitchen, Garden, Mind. Join Jen deHaan for Toque and Trowel. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts, or visit StereoForest.com to learn more.

Transcripts

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This week on the show, TOG starts a

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new project called the Grackleton Gazette and quickly

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gets in over their head at the very

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first event held, a meet-and-greet.

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You're with TOG Chesterfield here on 101.7

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FM The Grack.

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I'm trying to pick up the pieces and

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fix up my life after I lost my

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job and hit rock bottom.

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I'm taking you along as I try new

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things and attempt to get better as I

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embrace life.

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Unlock your life with TOG Chesterfield.

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Welcome to the show.

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Right now, checking watch, it's 501 pm.

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I'll be here with you for your commute

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or while you prepare your dinner or while

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you stare off into the void while you're

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waiting for your dog named Curtis to take

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his evening dump next to a storm drain

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grate.

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Those are sometimes called a catch basin or

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a curb inlet grate, actually.

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Anyway, I'm going to be your guest for

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the evening and take you through the chaos

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that ensued as I started my latest foray

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into life improvement.

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Now this foray involved an event that I

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ran at the Grackleton Community Centre.

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So when we parted ways last show, I

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was starting my new stand-up hobby and

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taking writing classes after, well, my disastrous go

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at the local open mic night at the

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Crow and Cackle.

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I was spending a lot of time writing

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and, well, making this show for all of

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you, of course.

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And those things got me thinking about making

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a show specifically about the people of Grackleton.

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I loved spending time at the community centre

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in these classes and the writers room involved

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a lot of talking with other people.

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So I sat down and I wrote out

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a plan for what I'm now tentatively calling

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the Grackleton Gazette.

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And the first step of this plan was

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to host an event to meet the people

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of Grackleton.

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And I would introduce my new project and

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I would also learn what the people wanted

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the Grackleton Gazette to be.

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So kind of like a survey.

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And from that, I would learn what they

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want, maybe another radio show or maybe something

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like a zine.

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I planned to interview them to gather some

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of their stories too about living and working

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in our town.

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And I would share this on the first

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show or in the first publication.

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And I was really lucky that my latest

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roommate, Chip Crust, he wanted to help too.

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Oh, I heard that you have an event.

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I could help you with that.

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Oh, I've got nothing to do today.

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Oh, oh, okay.

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I'm Chip Crust.

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Oh, I remember.

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Your roommate?

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Yeah, no, I remember you, Chip.

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No, that would be great if you're okay

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with helping me.

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If you have nothing else, that'd be nice.

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I'm really good at moving the chairs around

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and making a place look really nice.

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You might not notice it by my room,

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but other people's places, I do a lot

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of work.

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And I make them look nice.

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Oh, well, I'd like the place to look

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nice.

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Actually, Tog, I was meaning to ask you,

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did you, did you have a cat?

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Oh, I did have a cat, actually.

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How did, how did you know it's a

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tuxedo cat?

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Well, I saw the pattern on the floor

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that I guessed was a cat dish.

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Yeah.

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It just is sort of a worn pattern

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on the floor that resembles cat dishes and

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is about the same size profile as a

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cat dish.

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And I was like, Oh, I think Tog

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might have, might have had a cat there.

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Was your, was your cat's name Kevin?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Well, how did you know that?

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Yeah.

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So I started planning a Meet the Gazette

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event at the Community Centre with Chip Crust.

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I put in an ad in the local

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paper inviting everyone to contribute to the new

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project at this event by answering some questions

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about their life here in Grackleton.

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I went a bit overboard with the food,

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though.

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I made 15 new flavours of themed vegan

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jerky that represented all of our neighbourhoods here.

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Landlocked lemonade jerky was the most popular.

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I named it after our local houseboat community

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because we're nowhere near an ocean.

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So Chip and I were ready for a

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lively, interactive gathering at the Community Centre, kind

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of like the writers room meetings I've been

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going to there.

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Or, well, we thought we were organizing that.

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We actually weren't ready for how many people

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turned up.

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But first, a quick break.

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This is Un-Fuck Your Life with Tog

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Chesterfield.

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Un-Fuck Your Life with Tog Chesterfield.

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Back to the show.

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So things really started to go awry after

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the doors opened.

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There was a lineup before the Meet the

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Gazette even started.

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And within 10 minutes, the Community Centre was

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packed.

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The room that I'd rented, it was overflowing

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into the hall and then into the lobby.

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And everyone there was, like, really enthusiastic.

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Yeah, Tog.

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So this is, I remember I was telling

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you about my sports animals.

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So this one is my Kelpie Terrier mix,

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who was really, really good at fly ball.

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Hey, Tog, I want to tell you about

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this.

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So you can see here, this is the

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Grappleton Fly Ball Club.

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And we're at our first meet.

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That actually happens right here.

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Hey, Tog, I wanted to show you my

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recipe box.

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It's a really special thing.

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Yeah, so anyways, the meet happened here.

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And my dog, Spud, that was his name.

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And he actually, I called him my little

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potato.

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Hi, Tog, I wanted to tell you about

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my special recipe collection.

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Yeah, I heard you really, you had something

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that went on with the potatoes.

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That reminded, like, that's why I thought I

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had to tell you about Spud and how

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good Spud was at fly ball.

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Hey, Bud, I got a story about a

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cow I want to share with you.

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I wanted to show you Spud's results.

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This is a result from that same meet,

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from this photo.

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Hey, Buddy, can I show you this set

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of keys that I collect?

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Anyways, yeah, he shot down, down, like, 53

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seconds.

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That was actually really good for us at

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that meet, but at the other meet.

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Yeah, I got a story to tell you.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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So that, that was good for that meet.

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Is the kombucha free?

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We actually practiced a whole bunch, and we

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went to the next meet.

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It was about 10 miles out of town.

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Are you Tog?

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I just want to show you my books,

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please.

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I got a box of books.

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In this random field.

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Tog, I want to show you my show

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collection.

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It was terrible weather.

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I mean, like, you need pretty good, pretty

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dry.

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Do you mind if I have more jerky?

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Anyways, yeah, we got our time down.

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Oh, I should tell you a little story.

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Everyone was so excited to see each other

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and to catch up that right away, the

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volume in the room was far too loud

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to record anything usable.

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And Chip Cross tried really hard at controlling

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the crowd.

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Hey, I was just wondering if you could

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move into the line here to talk to

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Tog.

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Oh, yeah, no, I can, I can take

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your picture.

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Okay, oh, that looks good.

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That looks good.

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Oh, I was wondering if you would mind

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moving over here to talk to Tog.

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Oh, no, yeah, no, I can, I can

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hold your drink.

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Okay.

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Oh, your, your other one.

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Oh, you want the, yeah, I can, I

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can hold your baby for a little, for

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a little while.

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I'm not so good at, do I need

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to talk to it?

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But the creativity of Grackletonians, and I mean,

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you know that I love being creative, it

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was on full display here.

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Several people brought in books of their historical

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photos, collections of artwork, seeds they saved from

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harvest, from plants that aren't grown anywhere else.

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And there was even an ethically taxidermied grackle,

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our town bird.

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Tog, I brought this, this thing here to

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show you.

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Oh, okay.

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I'm actually pretty excited about it.

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Have you heard of the grackle?

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Yeah, the bird, that's a stuff grackle.

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That stuff?

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Named after this, this bird.

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Right, we are, it's a stuffed bird, a

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taxidermy?

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Totally, yes, taxidermy, you're correct.

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Yeah.

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You're correct about that, Tog.

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I consider myself a bit of an enthusiast,

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a little bit of a curious spectator of

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the taxidermy process, the process.

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I don't really, I mean, the grackle's a

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good bird because we're in Grackleton, but I'm

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more of an enthusiast about the process of

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the taxidermy as opposed to the ultimate, what

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it becomes at the end.

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I like the journey more than the destiny,

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you get it, the journey.

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It's all about the journey, not the destination.

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Yeah, so you're into like that, the how

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-to of taxidermy.

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So I like the journey of the taxidermy

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more than the destination, which in this case,

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it's like this output of this grackle, not

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that this isn't a fine specimen of the

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taxidermy process.

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It is a specimen of it, but the

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journey of this one was particularly interesting.

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That might be good for your thing that

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you've got going on here, Tog.

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Tell me more.

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The journey of this was actually an ethical

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taxidermy, an ethical one.

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Oh, ethical.

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Of this bird, the grackle.

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Right.

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First of all, this grackle lived its entire

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lifespan until the very end, and it wasn't

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just that ethical in the sense that it

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lived a full life, this grackle, she did,

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her name's Rosie.

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Oh, that's a nice name.

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Yeah, I like that name too, Tog.

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So Rosie here lived a full, entire, healthy,

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long grackle life.

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Oh, good.

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But you see, Rosie actually gave her consent

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for the taxidermy process to occur after her

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natural demise.

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Oh, how?

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You see, Rosie was able to communicate to

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humans, and it's not like Rosie wasn't a

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talking bird.

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I mean, that's probably the first thing you

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thought, Tog.

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It was.

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You would probably doubt the story, that you

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would doubt that it was accurate.

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But no, Rosie didn't speak in human words,

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nothing of the sort.

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Oh, okay.

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But they taught Rosie to punch down on

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these little cards that had words.

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So you see, I punched down with her

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foot or her beak, and she was able

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to communicate that she agreed, she consented to

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the taxidermy process after her natural demise.

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And Rosie actually specified that it needed to

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be a natural demise.

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If the demise was not of the natural

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sort, Rosie would then revoke her consent to

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the taxidermy process.

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But no, Rosie lived a long life, died

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of natural causes, old age.

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Oh, that's good.

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There was like an autopsy after, just to

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ensure that Rosie's wishes regarding this taxidermy process

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were actually executed correctly.

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So Rosie here is possibly one of the

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first fully ethical taxidermy.

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And as I told you, Tog, it's all

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about the journey, not about the destination.

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Right.

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At least for this story.

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Right.

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So I didn't get any interviews recorded, listener.

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Or, well, none that I could use on

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a new show, or with enough detail to

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put in a new zine, even.

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By the time I would almost manage to

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ask a follow-up question, anyone I was

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talking to was whisked away to someone else,

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or I'd be interrupted by someone else, who

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was excited to show me the thing that

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they'd brought along.

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My meet the Gazette was really a failure

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for what I tried to do, but honestly,

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perhaps it was Grackleton's best ever show and

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tell session.

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Oh, it's time for the weather.

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Tonight's weather for your Dry Lip 5 with

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Un-Fuck Your Life is brought to you

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by Stop and Shop Shop.

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Stop and shop until you drop, unless you

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pop from all that hot pot you brought.

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Oh, shoot.

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Stop and shop until you drop, unless you

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bop from all that hot pot you bought.

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We're next door to Dot's Hot Pot, who

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ought to have caught the top-sot hot

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pot shop spot.

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Get ready for the weather.

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Tonight, Grackleton is expecting a windstorm.

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Don't go near the trees.

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Oh, that's easy.

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You just weren't all about the weather.

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And that's it for the weather on your

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Dry Lip 5 from Stop and Shop Shop.

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Thank God.

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Un-Fuck Your Life with Todd Chesterfield.

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So my meet the Gazette event was quickly

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overtaken by the energy, the excitement of people

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seeing each other after only interacting in comment

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threads for so many years.

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In most of the cases, anyway.

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I learned that people really wanted community again,

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just like me.

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The noise level, the conversations, all of it

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made that pretty obvious.

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I heard of book clubs starting and volunteers

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getting organized and regular Zoom meetups being set

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up, too.

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Oh, yeah.

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My roommate, Chip Crest, who helped me, had

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to move out after the event.

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Chip got a job as a security guard

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at the landlocked houseboat community after meeting someone

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who works there.

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We learned that Chip Crest and I aren't

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the best public event managers.

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We would have probably been in overheads at

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a much smaller event, too, to be honest

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with you, listener.

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But the most important thing I learned is

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that the people here, the ones in Grackleton,

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just like me, were really needing to connect

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and share their stories outside of an angry

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comment thread for a newspaper article or something.

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As you all know, connecting like we did

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at that event is what I've been looking

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for here in Grackleton.

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Something in the community, being able to share

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and learn and really help each other.

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But in all of my projects, I really

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jumped off the deep end right away.

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And I think I probably did that again.

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But even though I didn't get any interviews,

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any, well, ones that I could use, I

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did experience how much humans were wanting to

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share a bit about their own history and

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their love for the town.

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So I managed to set up times with

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a few of them to meet at the

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coffee shop when it's not too busy, and

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a couple of people are going to record

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with me remotely.

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So I learned that in this case, and

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probably would have been the case for a

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lot of my other projects, starting a new

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one a little bit slower, like this, is

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better.

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It's probably going to be more sustainable over

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time, too.

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You know, I thought if I had an

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event with food and collected a bunch of

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interviews, I could start with like a really

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impressive zine or a big collection of videos,

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and that it would make me, Tog, the

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person, a little bit more valuable after all

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this time of not succeeding, after losing my

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job.

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Because depression really does make you feel like

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a burden, you know, an expense on the

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world.

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But we aren't.

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Even with my failed event, it had a

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little bit of a positive impact in our

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community.

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But so would just talking to a few

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people, because that conversation might have an impact

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on the same number of people that were

418

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in that room after they hear it.

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Hi, excuse me, Tog.

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Oh, hello.

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How much?

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Oh, Baxter, I can't really hear you that

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well.

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Oh, I can move a little bit closer.

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Oh, good.

426

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Yeah.

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I whisper one day a week.

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Excuse me.

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Yeah, Wednesday whisper.

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Oh, but it's not Wednesday.

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No, I know.

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It's actually just a carryover.

433

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I sometimes do a bit of a carryover.

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A carryover.

435

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So thank you for putting the towels on

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the end of the bed.

437

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That was a really nice gesture.

438

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Oh, thanks.

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I like to do a gesture for, you

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know, coming.

441

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And then you had them embroidered with my

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name.

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I mean, that was really me, Baxter.

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That's my name.

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Yeah, that's why I got it embroidered.

446

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That's just nice.

447

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Oh.

448

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So I just wanted to ask you, Tog,

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about the fridge situation.

450

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I saw the note.

451

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Right.

452

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You get half the fridge.

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You're a roommate.

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Half the fridge.

455

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Yeah, I know.

456

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I understand the note.

457

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You're really nice and clear.

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I just wanted to know if the note

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still applies now.

460

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Like, if anything's changed between the time that

461

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you wrote it and now.

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No, nothing's changed.

463

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Half and half.

464

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Okay.

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That's good.

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I'm glad.

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So I would like the doors, though.

468

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Oh, just the doors.

469

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Nothing else?

470

::

Yeah, the fridge doors.

471

::

Yeah, no, I get it.

472

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Just that's not very big.

473

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Oh, that's okay.

474

::

I'll take whatever percentage is the doors.

475

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Unless it's over the percentage that I'm allowed.

476

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No, you're allowed half.

477

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It's definitely less.

478

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Oh, good.

479

::

So a smaller percentage is fine.

480

::

Would you like to revise the note?

481

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No, it should be okay.

482

::

Because this is now a change between the

483

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time that you wrote it.

484

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Yeah, no, we both know the rules.

485

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It's fine.

486

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Okay, yeah, I guess because we both know.

487

::

All right, well, thank you.

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::

Talk.

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::

Oh, no.

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::

You're paying.

491

::

You're a roommate.

492

::

It's your place, too.

493

::

You don't need to thanks.

494

::

No, just a general high level.

495

::

Thank you.

496

::

Oh, okay.

497

::

Okay, I'll close the door.

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::

So that's it for this week's episode of

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::

the show here on 101.7 FM The

500

::

Grack.

501

::

Stay tuned for the lure at six, which

502

::

is Roger Flott's fishing report, which guarantees there

503

::

will not be overestimates about any catch during

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::

the first half of the show.

505

::

You have been listening to Un-Fuck Your

506

::

Life with Todd Chesterfield, a Stereo Forest production.

507

::

This episode was written, directed, edited, produced, and

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::

all voices were by Jen DeHaan.

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::

You can find all show notes and sign

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::

up to get notified about new episodes on

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::

StereoForest.com.

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