The Art of Delayed Gratification: Why It's Worth the Wait

Kelsey Smith 0:00

You know, you're putting in the work, you know, you're taking the right steps, you're believing in yourself in the process, that delayed gratification will reap reward. But if you rob yourself of the reward because you don't allow yourself to complete the process, and you're not welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys, wife, an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.

Kelsey Smith 1:10

I've been thinking a lot lately about delayed gratification. And, you know, I hear people talk about especially the millennial generation and wanting immediate results and instant gratification, and not having as much patience or the strength to build something that they don't see a result with. And I don't really think that that's everyone in the millennial generation. But regardless of what generation it's more present in, how does this show up for you. And I've been thinking about this with whether it's my goals, you know, on this podcast, we talk a lot about goals. But our goals aren't just building a big business or whatever else. It's allowing yourself to find the desire that you have in your life and taking steps everyday towards that. And I think when we think about delayed gratification, this is a really great example of that, because you may start decluttering, your house today, and you might not see results for months, years. But if you don't do it, then what is the opportunity cost? What's on the other side of it? What are the things that you would see if you didn't take that action, knowing that you're going to have to delay the gratification of the result that you may really be hoping to receive at this point in time. And there's a couple of quotes that maybe you've heard about this. And there's actually a trending like audio on Tiktok and Instagram right now about this. And one of them is the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time to plant a tree is now and this is a Chinese proverb. And this allows us to really think about that and to say like, okay, sure, it might have been great to do that 20 years ago. But if we can't go back to 20 years ago, and do it, what can we do today? What is the action that we can take today that we may not see the result of for 20 years. But if we don't do it, we're still not gonna have that tree 20 years from now. And there are so many things in life that this becomes so difficult because there's choices that you may make right now that are different than the choices that you would have made 20 years ago are the choices that you will make in 20 years. But if you don't make the choice now, how does that change how you show up? And what are you not allowing yourself to see 20 years from now, by not making that decision. And let's say it's not 20 years, but Michelangelo spent four years painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling. That masterpiece is admired today, people come from all over the world to look at it. And it took him four years to see that final product. He had to put in consistent effort and delay his desire for immediate gratification in order to create something that many see is truly great income to travel to see four years of painting. Now, imagine if he hadn't done that. Or if one month in, he was like, Oh, my gosh, this is just too much. I've been off more than I can do. I am not going to keep going. Now, would anyone be hurt that there's no Sistine Chapel? Not that I'm aware of. But it's something that, again, has pre made a profound impact on so many people. It's something that is really admired by so many people and what if he didn't do it? There's so many other examples of this. There's Steve Jobs and Apple. There's Amazon so many things that started as something so small with a bigger vision that did not see success overnight. They did not become what they are today. You know, Amazon was created in a garage. Steve Jobs had a vision of apple that for years wasn't what it thought it was gonna be. He saw many failures. He's received a lot of negative feedback for who he is, and his vision, but he's also a visionary. He's also created something that many of us carry on our pockets every day. But what if he just said said, I didn't work out fast enough? What if we focused so much on what is happening right now that we robbed ourselves of what is to come years down the road that we may never see. Consistency is so key to everything that we do every day. And you know, we hear this a lot in health, right? You can't just go work out once and see the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle one day, it's something that we have to do over and over and over again. But I don't know why we don't see this in other areas of our life. I don't know why the delayed gratification of something else another goal, whether it's how you learn to communicate better each day, or it's how you show up in your home or in your job. What if the job that you're working right now is really intended to just be the foundational piece of where you're going down the road? And one day, you're going to look back and you're going to understand why. But what if each day you go to that job, you don't love that you're planting seeds, and building the foundation for what is to come? What if the small steps that you're taking each day to become a better communicator with your partner, or to really communicate better with your kids to learn how to be a better parent? What if you don't see that for years as the result, but you know, showing up each day is working towards that. These are all examples of delayed gratification. And delayed gratification requires patience, like exactly what it is right? You have to be patient with the result. And so how do we exercise that patient's muscle? How do we allow ourselves to be okay with where we're at? And one way that I really like to do that as measure small wins? So whether it's daily or weekly or monthly, I would recommend something more frequently the monthly measuring What are you're proud of yourself for? What were the wins? What can you celebrate? Where have you seen transformation and movement and change in your life? Where have you shown up for yourself? And in these other areas of your life? Where have you allowed yourself to say, Wow, I have a lot, I have seen success in this way, I have moved forward in this way. Because if you don't measure the small things, it can be hard to be patient to work towards that delayed gratification. And just like a tree, you might not see everything right away, right? If you're planting a tree or a plant, it doesn't sprout for a while. And then even when it sprouts it, that is a very, very slow process to grow whatever it is that you're growing. So how can you measure success along the way, even if no one else can see the success? And you might not even see it in yourself? How can you measure success for the intention that you're putting in the steps that you're taking the watering that you're doing to the planet? How can you measure that as success and allow yourself to see that as success moving forward? Because there's going to be days, we're gonna be like, why am I even watering this plant? It's an odd, even growing, were logically and rationally we know that that is the stuff that it takes to plant a plant, that we have to care for something before we see it. But you're gonna have days with yourself and your own goals, we're gonna be like, I'm not seeing the result. I'm not seeing what I'm supposed to see, this isn't working, it's not working. Does anyone even want me to do this? Am I even benefiting my family or my home or myself? And you have to come back to the intentionality, the steps that you know, that you believe maybe you don't even know that you believe to be there correct steps to plant that tree, if you will? And are you taking action towards that. And if you know you're putting in the work, you know, you're taking the right steps, you're believing in yourself in the process, then you that delayed gratification will reap a reward. But if you rob yourself of the reward because you don't allow yourself to complete the process, then you're not going to get the reward. So it can be hard. It can be really difficult. But something that helps so much is having community, something that helps so much as having someone along your side in your journey. And if you don't have that it starts with just measuring it yourself, right, maybe it's pictures, maybe it's journaling, maybe it's taking time with yourself to visualize that result at the end of whatever it is that you're working on. But I also recommend trying to seek out someone that's in that journey with you. And if that person is not in your household with you find a community to pour into, whether it's the mama high schools community or somewhere else that you can allow yourself to find your people to pull you forward while you're delaying that gratification, and you are measuring that patience and you're working that patience muscle, that you're not alone. Because whether it's working through healing and trauma, or it's learning how to Organize and Declutter, or it's building a career business, or working on your communication in your relationships, or whatever else it is, on the days that it's hard, it's going to be really hard. And if you're alone, it's even harder. But if you can find someone to be supportive of your journey, and alongside of you, because you're not alone, I can almost guarantee that whatever you are navigating someone has navigated the same thing or something really similar, that can help you. And even if they can't, they can still listen. And they can say, Wow, that's hard, I'm sorry. So figure out what you need and who you need before you get the results so that you can be patient and you can wait for the result rather than quitting so

Kelsey Smith: 10:52

that you never get the result. Right. I am sending you so much love. I want to know what you're working towards. I want to know, what is the gratification that you are waiting to receive that you have not received yet? What are you putting in the work towards that you haven't seen the result for yet but you're excited that you're putting in the work towards? What are those goals? This is what mama haskel's is all about. It's about working towards the highest version of yourself alongside motherhood not knowing when you hit that limit, because you probably never will. But there's steps along the way to get you there. I love you. I'm right there with you. I'm doing this with you delaying my own gratification working on my patients muscle. You are not alone. We are doing this together. But tell me what part are you most excited about right now? What is the hardest part right now? And are you feeling alone? You're not let me know what it is. There's so much more where this came from. Take the next step and download the mama high schools app or visit our web platform. real authentic, full supportive community is available at your fingertips and we can't wait to create space for you mama

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