What if the most powerful act of love you can offer, to yourself, your child, or your community, is a boundary?

In this episode of More Human, More Kind, Heather Hester dismantles the cultural myth that boundaries are selfish, cold, or unkind. Instead, she invites us to see them as sacred, necessary acts of inclusion, empathy, and healing, especially for parents of LGBTQ+ kids, overwhelmed allies, and anyone doing emotional labor at home, work, or in advocacy spaces.

You’ll learn how boundaries actually create safety, clarity, and deeper connection, and why saying "no" can sometimes be the most loving response. Whether you’re navigating family dynamics, protecting your rest, or trying to show up without burning out, this episode gives you compassionate, real-world guidance on how to speak your needs, hold your limits, and model self-worth and mental health for the young people watching you.

Press play to gain practical phrases, soul-level permission, and renewed energy to create boundaries that feel clear, kind, and fully human because protecting your peace is a vital part of parenting, allyship, and sustainable love.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

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At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.

If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast and space where a mom and mental health advocate offers guidance on parenting with empathy, inclusion, and open-minded allyship, fostering growth, healing, and empowerment within the LGBTQ community—including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals—while addressing grief, boundaries, education, diversity, human rights, gender identity, sexual orientation, social justice, and the power of human kindness through a lens of ally support and community engagement.

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Blubrry - https://create.blubrry.com/resources/about-blubrry/privacy-policy

Speaker A: 00:00:31

Welcome back to More Human, More Kind.

Speaker A: 00:00:34

I'm Heather Hester, and today we are diving into one of the most powerful acts of love we can offer ourselves and others.

Speaker A: 00:00:45

Boundaries.

Speaker A: 00:00:47

We often think of boundaries as walls.

Speaker A: 00:00:50

Cold, harsh, uncomfortable.

Speaker A: 00:00:52

But what if boundaries are actually bridges?

Speaker A: 00:00:56

Expressions of care, clarity and self respect.

Speaker A: 00:01:01

What if, as Prentice Hemphill said, they are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously?

Speaker A: 00:01:10

Let's begin by trying to reframe them a little bit.

Speaker A: 00:01:15

Boundaries are not ultimatums.

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They're not punishments.

Speaker A: 00:01:19

They're not a form of rejection.

Speaker A: 00:01:21

They.

Speaker A: 00:01:21

But they are a form of deeper connection, not disconnection.

Speaker A: 00:01:27

Think of them as invisible lines that help you protect your peace, your energy and your truth.

Speaker A: 00:01:35

Let's reposition them as necessary acts of love for self and others.

Speaker A: 00:01:43

Boundaries help establish clarity, safety and trust.

Speaker A: 00:01:49

Think of boundaries as an equation.

Speaker A: 00:01:52

Boundaries equal expectations plus values made visible.

Speaker A: 00:01:59

They create space for true connection, not control.

Speaker A: 00:02:04

Boundaries are not static or rigid.

Speaker A: 00:02:06

In fact, they can be used in a multitude of ways.

Speaker A: 00:02:10

From emotional boundaries to physical ones, time based boundaries to energetic ones, and so on.

Speaker A: 00:02:18

Here are a few signs you might be needing a boundary.

Speaker A: 00:02:23

You're feeling resentful.

Speaker A: 00:02:25

You're saying yes when you want to say no.

Speaker A: 00:02:29

You're feeling overwhelmed or unseen.

Speaker A: 00:02:33

These are just a few signs, invitations to pause and reassess.

Speaker A: 00:02:41

So first, identify where that resentment or burnout or confusion shows up.

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Name the feeling.

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What's off?

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What behavior or dynamic doesn't feel okay anymore.

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2.

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Clarify the need.

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What's missing?

Speaker A: 00:03:02

Ask yourself, what am I?

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I willing to change?

Speaker A: 00:03:08

And three, communicate with compassion.

Speaker A: 00:03:12

Try one of these three lines first.

Speaker A: 00:03:17

I care about you and this is what I need.

Speaker A: 00:03:22

Or I'm not available for that, but here's what I can offer or this isn't working for me anymore.

Speaker A: 00:03:32

Can we find a new way forward?

Speaker A: 00:03:36

Boundaries come up everywhere.

Speaker A: 00:03:39

From parenting a teen who's testing independence to navigating emotional labor and relationships, to carving out, I.

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E.

Speaker A: 00:03:50

Protecting your time to rest.

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Create or breathe.

Speaker A: 00:03:56

Boundaries are love in action.

Speaker A: 00:03:59

They say, I matter, you matter.

Speaker A: 00:04:03

And we can do this with honesty.

Speaker A: 00:04:07

Now we will talk about handling pushback with grace in another episode.

Speaker A: 00:04:11

But remember, you do not need to explain or justify your boundaries to anyone.

Speaker A: 00:04:18

While they may disappoint others, they are not a betrayal.

Speaker A: 00:04:24

So ask yourself, where do I need more clarity?

Speaker A: 00:04:30

Where could kindness and boundaries coexist in my life?

Speaker A: 00:04:38

These are the conversations we need to be having right now.

Speaker A: 00:04:42

Gentle, honest, and deeply human.

Speaker A: 00:04:48

We're living in a time of.

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Of so much noise, of polarization, of systems breaking down and hearts breaking open.

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So what do we do with that?

Speaker A: 00:05:06

We slow down.

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We listen.

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We gather around stories around truth, around vulnerability.

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That's the movement I'm inviting you into.

Speaker A: 00:05:22

To be more human is to stop hiding, to stop pretending.

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You have to be perfect or polished to be worthy of love or respect.

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It's the radical act of saying, I am messy, I am growing, and I am enough.

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To be more kind is not to be nice.

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It's not performative.

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It's not surface level.

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It's choosing compassion when it's hard, choosing clarity over comfort.

Speaker A: 00:06:03

Choosing to see someone, really see them, even when you don't agree.

Speaker A: 00:06:13

Kindness, real kindness disrupts hate.

Speaker A: 00:06:19

It heals shame.

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It opens space for belonging.

Speaker A: 00:06:26

This podcast isn't just a show anymore.

Speaker A: 00:06:29

It's part of something bigger.

Speaker A: 00:06:32

It's a movement toward listening instead of reacting, being curious instead of certain.

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Repairing instead of defending.

Speaker A: 00:06:43

Seeing the human before the label.

Speaker A: 00:06:49

You don't need to be perfect to join this conversation.

Speaker A: 00:06:52

You just need to be willing to show up.

Speaker A: 00:06:55

Take a breath.

Speaker A: 00:06:56

You belong here.

Speaker A: 00:06:59

This week, I invite you to choose one area in your life where clarity could replace chaos and where kindness could include you.

Speaker A: 00:07:12

If this conversation was helpful today, I ask three things.

Speaker A: 00:07:16

Subscribe to, Follow and share More Human, More Kind subscribe to the Midweek Breath newsletter and join the Patreon community.

Speaker A: 00:07:28

You are worthy of boundaries and you are worthy of love.

Speaker A: 00:07:33

Welcome to More Human, More Kind.

Speaker A: 00:07:37

Welcome to the movement.