In this episode of Mind Your Wedding Business, Kevin Dennis sits down with multicultural & Gen-Z wedding expert Anshika Arora with Eternity CRM to unpack how culture, family dynamics, and communication styles are quietly shaping modern buying decisions. From fusion weddings to multi-generational decision-making, Anshika explains why today’s couples aren’t booking the same way they did even three years ago and what wedding professionals must understand to stay relevant.

They explore how family hierarchy, funding dynamics, and cultural expectations influence vendor selection, and why Gen Z couples prioritize transparency, accessibility, and values-driven communication long before they ever inquire. Anshika breaks down the hidden layers of decision-making happening behind the scenes — especially in multicultural weddings — and shares practical ways businesses can adapt their sales process, messaging, and follow-up strategies to build trust and improve conversion.

If you’ve noticed longer sales cycles, more ghosting, or shifting expectations around pricing and communication, this conversation will help you understand what’s actually happening and how to evolve your approach without losing your authority.

Anshika is a Multicultural & Gen-Z wedding expert who specialises in translating modern buyer behaviour into clear, commercial decisions for your business - so you know what to change, why it matters, and how it improves conversion. She works with businesses 1:1 and sits on the UK Wedding Association advisory board as the fusion, Gen-Z & trends advisor.

Highlights

• How culture and family dynamics shape modern wedding buying decisions

• Why Gen Z couples expect transparency and instant access to information

• How comparison culture is lengthening the sales cycle

• Communication strategies that build trust across generations

• Navigating competing family priorities without creating friction

• Future-proofing your wedding business through adaptability and continuous learning

Connect with Anshika:

Website

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LinkedIn

TikTok

Pinterest

Connect with Kevin:

Wedding IQ

Fantasy Sound

Instagram

YouTube

TikTok

LinkedIn

All right, folks, welcome to another episode of Mind Your Wedding Business. I'm here with Anchika Arora, and she's going to be talking, we're going be talking about a little bit of family dynamics and culture and all kinds of good stuff today. But before we do, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and how we got you here today?

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me, Kevin. My name is Anshika. I'm the founder of Eternity CRM. So it's a wedding tech business that's been around for about four years in the UK. And I'm also a Gen Z and multicultural wedding speaker, consultant, trainer. I love working with venues and business owners on the nuances of Gen Z couples and multicultural infusion weddings and how we're seeing so many more of those now and really what we can be doing as businesses all the way from sales to operations to marketing to really capture that demographic.

Of course.

I love it. All right. we're going to jump. We've never really touched on this topic. So I'm really excited to jump in on the podcast. So we're going to be talking about how cultural family dynamics and communication styles shape the buying decision. So I'm really excited to jump in. So why is understanding culture and family dynamics essential to how modern couples make buying decisions?

It's so essential because we're seeing it so much more. And I think especially where your consumers are now becoming multicultural, you've got more fusion weddings taking place. We were just talking about this, especially how in your area, you can see Indian Korean weddings on the rise. You can see so many more fusion weddings happening. And that is because just as a demographic, I know, especially in the UK, for example, so much of the population is now multicultural and they come from all over the world. And so because it's becoming increasingly common, it's so important

Hmm.

as wedding businesses and venues to actually keep up with that because you want to make sure that you're saying the right things. You want to make sure that you're marketing to them in a way that makes them feel seen. And if you don't, you're gradually going to start to see a bit of a decline slash a bit of a shift in the kinds of weddings and the kind of clients you're starting to attract.

Mm.

And I love that too, because it's like you were saying, I'm in the San Francisco Bay Area market and we are, know, with the tech dominating my world here, you know, people come from all over the world to work here, you know, and so it's just really interesting. so because of that, we just have so many different weddings and it just, it's, and the best part I think I've really enjoyed is learning all the different cultures. And even in some of like, I'm learning

Mm-hmm.

some stuff in some countries is regional, so they do things differently even though it's just there are certain, you know, from a certain country that doesn't mean that's how it always happens in that country. It can be regionalized as well. it's it's

Yeah. Yeah. I always say

that there's, like you said, there's the cultural aspects, there's the religious aspect, but then it also filters down into the family aspect. So you can have two people who are born in the exact same place, follow the exact same religion, but the way that their families approach the wedding planning could be entirely different because that just boils down to personal beliefs.

Yeah, so much. All right. So so much to get to today. So we're going to dive in. when wedding pros think about the client, who are they often forgetting is part of the decision making process?

Thank

That's a really good question. I think we forget that, especially when it comes to multicultural and fusion weddings, it's not just the couple. we're really used to that. We're used to them being the focal point, used to always asking, me more about your relationship. And that's how we build rapport. But actually there's more people involved. And I always say, when you are planning a wedding, that's when you're going to have the most number of decision makers. When you're buying for anything else, say you're looking to buy a car, often it's what you like and what's your taste. When you're looking to buy a house, it might be you and your partner.

Mm.

and what they like. But actually, when it's a wedding, and especially with that multicultural dynamic, you've often got the couple, you've often got both their families, and you've often got the community itself, which can be very strongly opinionated. So you might be battling with a lot more than just two brains at work here. There's definitely more and you may or may not ever even interact with that wider community, or both sets of parents, but behind the scenes, they're playing a really, really strong.

Yeah, and I've even had weddings where the aunts are, you like the bride has all three of her aunts at the table, you know, asking questions and all that kind of stuff as well. let's, as we get into the family, you know, involvement and, you know, cultural expectations change the way couples evaluate, you know, vendors. ⁓ does that affect?

Yeah, so I think it gets affected in different layers. And one big one that it really comes down to is when it comes to who's funding the wedding. And I think that's a really common thing when it comes to once virtual weddings that it may or may not just be the couple doing it. I'm from India, for example. And for example, for weddings that take place in India, often the parents are funding it, right? They've spent maybe years and years and years or since the child was born, they spent that time saving up a wedding pot specifically for that.

⁓ Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

which may not be the same all around the world. So naturally, if they are going to put their life savings into this event, they want to have some sort of a say in it. And there's both sides of the coin, because then you think, you know what, it's actually our day and you should gift us this money and then just let go. But that's just not the case. And I think we just need to be really practical about it. And like you said, even with aunts, if they're involved, they may or may not even be contributing financially, but just the way that family hierarchies often are.

from certain places around the world, you'll see that, okay, we need to have, my mom's the youngest sibling, so we need to have her elder two siblings or her elder two brothers there because they're the decision makers in the wider family and we need their approval. And I often find it's really interesting, this happens the most with the eldest of the generation when it comes to multicultural weddings, because there's this large amount of pressure on, right, this is the first wedding of the family, we need to make sure that we're holding our tradition as well as the modern.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

practices and really bringing them forward and merging them in the best way possible. And often I find that that's the hardest wedding to plan. So first one in a generation and then it gets easier as you go down. I'm the youngest of my generation and I've definitely seen it through all my cousins and you've seen kind of family members, community members become a lot more lenient.

Yeah, and it's funny that I feel like that's the same for even where you are in your friend group getting married as well. Because if you are the first of your friend and the first of your family, then there's a lot of expectations and a lot of things that go into that. But when you're kind of the last, sometimes I think it could be harder or it be easier. And it really depends on some so many things that variables go into that. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. Middle is always easier because then there's

You know what, you want to be in the middle. It sounds like it.

Only a couple have done it and then, yeah, yeah, for sure. All right, so what are the differences you see in how Gen Z couples approach booking decisions compared to previous generations? Okay, let's go.

Yeah, absolutely.

This is my favorite topic. I love talking about I am a Gen Z myself. So

I speak from my own experience, my own thoughts. Gen Z just love transparency. That's of utmost importance. And I think previously with ⁓ couples and perhaps millennials, we were always taught, know what, keep your cards really close to your chest. You want to build that rapport. And then when the time is right, you want to hit them with the price. And that's when you make the sale. Gen Z are the opposite. And it's completely different. We're such an impatient generation.

Mm-hmm.

We're used to Amazon where we're used to just buying something the next day and kind of ordering it where it comes on same day delivery. ⁓ We're so used to just information being so easily accessible that if we don't go on your website or go on your social media or immediately see your prices, your USP or the most recent wedding you did, if it wasn't one within the last six months and if they can't see that, they're automatically gonna think, this business doesn't get me. This business has too many barriers and actually they're not gonna be a right fit for me on my wedding day.

So I think transparency is just something which I know we will keep saying, put your prices online and that's really important, but actually transparency translates into so many other things as well.

In what way?

So I think in the way that they just like to know all of their options beforehand. So you wanna be able to pre-compare five different businesses before even having a conversation with you. And I think we don't realize that that shopfront is becoming even more important than it was for millennials, because for millennials to an extent, if your friends had recommended them and used them at their wedding, you might be more inclined to think, actually I had a really good time at so-and-so's wedding. I love that DJ let me have a chat with them and.

yeah.

I'm already 90 % convinced that I want to kind of inquire with them and buy them at that point. And equally, they might see a really cool video of something that you're doing on socials and think, yeah, that's the vibe I want. Whereas with Gen Z, they're not as easily convinced until the point that they are and then things move really fast. So it's about us understanding, right, how do we convince them in the best way possible, and we can't be using our millennial coded tactics that we've been taught all along on Gen Z clients, because it just doesn't work.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and do you think the buying process is longer for Gen Z?

I think to an extent, it definitely is longer because they fall into the comparison trap a bit more when it comes to social media. So I think as businesses, sometimes we can think that silence actually means that they're rejecting me and they don't want to book me when actually it is just them doing their market research. And I speak to businesses and work with them often where they'll all of a sudden just get clients who have come back out the woodworks three months later. But that's because in their mind, they've made that decision and they're all ready to go. So I definitely think that that plays a really big part.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. something that I just, when you were talking about all that, something that made me think of Tom Chalednik from the knot, ⁓ speaking and, listening to him. And he said something that extremely powerful. And this has stuck with me for a while now is he said, if you are still doing, running your business, the way you were running it three years ago, you're going to be non-existent in the next two, you know, like, and so it just, you know, so that's how fast

this generation and how different this generation is compared to the way we've been doing things in the past.

Yeah, absolutely. Because I think everyone was treating pre-COVID and post-COVID as two different ways of working and running their business. But I think now we're kind of almost six years past COVID. And actually, there's become there's come a second phase, where if you're running your business, how you were post-COVID and the markets changed a lot, right? Like the number of the volume of weddings, I know it's kind of tenfold in the States what it is in the UK. It's just so different. ⁓ And so completely agree with that statement.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, no, it's and it's something because I still think of the people that are like you were saying refuse to put their pricing online You know refuse to you know, text clients or if you know, I I or only do you know, they have too many Barriers, know, and yeah. Yeah. So

Yes. And

I think especially when it comes to kind of Gen Z clients, and if you were to add that multicultural lens as well, to your question on is the buying kind of decision making process a lot longer, when it comes to Gen Z multicultural clients and fusion couples, it's even longer because you have to remember that they've got so many different decision makers. So it's not just you and the partner who are making that decision. So you might have a great meeting with them and a great initial meeting with a client.

Mm-hmm.

And then they might suddenly ghost you for about two months, but actually they're not ghosting you. They're in the backgrounds, they're speaking to both sets of families, they're speaking to friends, getting their opinions, maybe siblings have opinions, trying to convince some of them. There's so many of these hidden steps that are taking place and the nuances of again, having different decision makers when it comes to fusion weddings, but there's also that added layer when it comes to Gen Z fusion.

Yeah, so much to unpack. All right. So how does communication style across cultures impact trust and booking confidence?

Yeah, very much so. I think as businesses, we need to be learning this because I think as businesses, we're very used to a certain communication style when it comes to the couple themselves. So we're always thinking, okay, I'm gonna, this time, gonna build rapport with them. These are the things they like. If I mentioned these things that are currently trending, they'll understand and they'll speak the same language and we'll build that relationship. But actually, communication styles matter so much more because if you've then got a parent in the room or two sets of parents in the room, you need to kind of speak

Mm.

to them in a way that they're going to buy. And I think often businesses can make the mistake where they either ignore those decision makers completely, because we've always been taught the couple is their day and we need to make them feel special. Or we overcompensate and we give too much importance to the parents in our communication style. So maybe we over accommodate them and we think, right, well, they could be the ones that are paying 100 % of the wedding. But does that mean that we only listen to them and not to the couple? That's not right either.

Hmm.

So think when it comes to communication stars, it's the best businesses and the ones that are gonna win are those that can very quickly adapt and read the room and understand, right, even though you've not told me, I get the sense that so-and-so might be paying or chipping into the wedding, but I get the sense that so-and-so is now getting quite frustrated with other person's opinion. And so you need to be able to manage that. And often making both of them feel comfortable is quite an art, but I do think that we're a relationship industry and we're all people's people.

Mm-hmm.

So it should come easier to us as soon as we start training ourselves on it.

Yeah, something I mean, we think of is we in the Bay Area, big Filipino community here. And so what happens in a lot of their families will sponsor part of the wedding. so, you know, aunt is paying for the cake and, you know, this cousin is chipping in for that. then when you have so many, you know, so many people to please, it's really at one point, it becomes overwhelming when you really get a large Filipino wedding. So it's crazy.

It does.

And I think sometimes there's no harm in empathizing with a couple. And if you ever get them one on one, just saying that and just saying, look, you're doing a great job because I know weddings I've had in the past, there has been a lot of opinions. I think sometimes just adding that human element and just calling a spade a spade to the clients themselves when you come the and know it's appropriate to, goes a really long way.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Well, and they probably appreciate that you're understanding what they're going through.

Yeah, and I think it also makes them think, okay, this person is experienced and they've done weddings of my culture before, perhaps, and it makes them try to do a little bit more. And that's not to say that those who haven't done multicultural weddings or fusion weddings are going to be at a disadvantage because you're always going to have a first at some point. But if you have done those kinds of weddings before, I would always recommend bringing them up in a really subtle way to kind of make the client think, yep, I understand you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Well, it's funny you say, you you have to have a first. Everyone has to start with, you know, something first. But I had a really interesting conversation with a couple and they were Russian Jewish. And so it was the first time I've ever done a Russian Jewish wedding. so they were I was I'm like, I've done Jewish weddings, but I've never done a Russian Jewish wedding. And so I was going through really and I was upfront and honest with them. And the mom looked at me and she was you're the first person that's been upfront and honest with us.

because everyone else has been lying about us. And then once we started talking to them, we figured out they were lying because they were telling me the wrong things and doing the wrong stuff. And they ended up hiring us because I was upfront and honest with them. But they also, like through the process, educated me. And so the next time I got one, I felt really comfortable. So I think there's a level of, like you said, call a spade a spade if we're not, you know.

If you're not, you gotta be upfront and honest with these people too when you're going through this kind of stuff. you're just, you're gonna be in the weeds and you're gonna be distrusted immediately.

Yeah, exactly. Because we forget we're not just having one meeting with these clients, right? You're working with them over 12 to 18 months, sometimes even up to 24 months. And you are going to slip up if you've been lying. And so it's very to be careful about it. And I always say there's no harm in asking what seems like silly questions, because then it will just save you from an awkward moment or embarrassment later on. And if anything, people love talking about themselves. They love about their culture, especially when it comes to weddings, everyone just gets

Yeah!

Mm-hmm.

So excited and I find with fusion weddings that the really fun aspect of it is how you see two cultures merging and what they're taking from one set of kind of how weddings are usually done versus the other set. And so where they love talking about that, the more inquisitive you get, the more, again, authentically start to build that relationship versus you just saying, yep, yep, yep, I've done it all before just because you've done a quick Google search on kind of the 12 or 21 different Jewish wedding traditions, for example.

Yeah,

well, it's funny that you said, it's like families may do things differently, too. It's like in my family, we do this differently than how it's normally done in the Jewish culture or name the culture, you know, kind of thing. And therefore, that doesn't mean it's wrong and doesn't mean it's right either. It just means it's the way it's a tradition. So.

Yeah. Yeah, and you don't want to box

them in. I think the worst thing that you can do, and what gives me bit of the ick, is if you were to sit in a meeting and if you were to say, so you're not doing that, because I thought this was the norm. And we don't realise that those kind of social cues, they actually work against us versus kind of working with us and helping us win that client.

Yeah, good point. Love it. Love it. All right. Where do wedding professionals most commonly create friction without realizing it?

Ooh, I think a few of the things we said when it comes to either giving too much importance or not enough importance to the other decision makers. And the other one being where we kind of show a bit of kind of ignorance or maybe lie when it comes to certain traditions. I would say those two are definitely the biggest ones that I see in the multicultural space. The third one that I see a lot of is definitely tokenism, where you'll kind of see, oh, yeah, I've done this one wedding and so I'm going to plaster it everywhere on my website.

⁓ and say that I'm an expert in this field or I can do it really well. And I think, again, it goes back to what we were saying is point number two around being really honest. But I think that one really stands out more, especially on social media or on wedding brochures. If you're constantly just showing the same images for, I don't know, a Jewish wedding that you've done or an Asian wedding that you've done, it's really easy to spot. And I think Gen Z couples in particular are really smart and they'll be able to see that. And so

Mm-hmm.

Again, I get that it's a really tricky one, because how do you get in if you haven't done your first one and if you're not shouting about it. But I always say there's lots of different ways of doing it and tokenism is just one that I've seen a lot in the last year that I wish businesses would stop doing.

I agree with you because there's someone we did a wedding with, it was an Asian wedding and ⁓ this planner has blast like, like to the point where the girl in our office that does social media, she goes, again, I'll hear it from her office. And I'm like, uh-oh, did that planner post the same wedding all over again? And this wedding was almost a year ago, you know? And so, and it's still like multiple times a week. Yeah. And it's like,

Yeah.

⁓ fine.

Turn the mouse.

All right,

been there, done that. So if anybody goes through her feed or looks through any of that stuff, you're going to see the same thing over and over again.

to play a game or take a shot every time that that post recirculates.

I know we're going to be really drunk in our office if that we have to do, but I agree

with you on that. All right. How can ⁓ vendors navigate situations where couples and families have competing priorities?

this is a really tricky one because it can lead to a lot of tension, it can lead to a lot of awkwardness. And I think it's always the balance of one, is it really our jobs to be interfering? But then two, if you interfere in the right way, you can actually make the world of a difference. ⁓ I always think with that, comes down to, it's always beneficial if you are sensing some tension either in the initial meeting or as the bookings are going on, to kind of pull the couple to a side and speak to them first.

Yes.

Hmm

And I know it can sound a bit well, what if the parents are paying and why would I pull the couple to a side? I think ultimately the person that's going to be leaving you that review at the end of the day is still going to be the couple majority of the time. You still see parents leaving lovely reviews, but the couple are the ones who are really going to remember you. They're going to rave about you to the next kind of all of their friends and they're going to be the ones leaving you the reviews. So you really want to make sure that you're making them feel as comfortable as possible. And I think that's our most priority.

Mm-hmm.

And then you always play that game of you blame someone else. So for example, if you're in a meeting and you know that mother-in-law is saying something that maybe partner A just isn't too happy about kind of playing that game of, well actually, logistically, this might be a little bit difficult. So maybe we can consider this option. That often works out quite well. I know it can be a little bit cheeky, but I've seen people again, if businesses are doing it in a smart way.

Hmm.

I can see it worked really well. And that's especially the case when it comes to planners and on the day coordinators, because I'll often see that couples will say, right, you're probably going to get these few family members who are going to want to interfere at this point or say something and have a comment about this. If they do, please don't listen to them, ignore them. Or can we figure out a way to say something back? I'll see it a lot. And I love these videos on TikTok, where you'll see, ⁓ there's one I saw recently of a makeup artist.

where everyone kept asking the bride as she was getting ready all of these questions. And obviously for a makeup artist, that's quite frustrating. And the makeup artist kind of just said, ⁓ okay, I really need her to be quiet because actually, otherwise I can't concentrate. So does everyone mind just like not talking to her and not asking her any questions and just delegate all questions to so and so. And I think as businesses, that's a really smart way of stepping in and the smile on that bride's face was just something that you'll always remember.

Yeah, I remember I had a couple I was working with and there was a lot of family tension and ⁓ they just kind of were over the side next to me and I just kind of looked at him. go, how, how many help you like what do you need me to do? Or is there anything I could say to help make this better for you guys? You know, like, and I tried to without interfering, like, how can I navigate the waters and it, it worked, you know, so it just, and again,

because you did it one way with this couple doesn't mean it's going to work with that couple. know, every family dynamic is different. So you are definitely treading water when you when you go to do those conversations.

Yeah,

I think a lot of it does come down to reading the room and having that level of empathy and knowing right which partner maybe feels like they're the one who you can, who is going to open up to you and who you can speak to and making sure that you direct your questions to them or have a one on one conversation with them at some point as well. And in the long term, that's only going to help.

Yeah, and then and that is only going to come from experience. I mean just being around so the more you can put yourself in those situations, the more the better you're going to be at it as it goes through it. So. Alright, so from a conversation standpoint, what happens when a business ignores culture or family dynamics in their messaging or processes? That's my guess, but.

Absolutely.

often they don't get the bookings. ⁓ Yeah,

yeah, that's kind of the first thing that happens. The second thing that happens that people forget is reputational risk is always at hand. You can harm your reputation. So I know that a lot of businesses think, well, actually, I don't cater to them at the moment, or I've not done any weddings in the past. And so the language they use might be quite divisive, and it might not be as inclusive as it should be. And often I find that that will lead to poor reputation risk because again,

Hmm.

Friends get married often in similar years or over kind of the similar three to five year period. And so if you're thinking, by the way, I was thinking of so and so, did anyone ever like speak to them or have a meeting with them for their wedding? And if they say, I found that they were actually really rude and really dismissive, that's gonna make someone not even want to inquire with you. So again, going back to what Timothy said, that if we're not actually building these into our businesses in this kind of next year, and we're just operating how we maybe did three years ago, it's not gonna run in the next two years.

Yeah, and it's I think some wedding professionals don't remember while they're working a wedding, like all the people, the guests, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, everyone involved is potentially a future booking referral, you know, and if you don't take the route, if you're kind of mean to someone or you just kind of rude to someone, it's going to affect you and you're it's going to regardless what you're doing. So.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think

everyone kind of forgets or may remember but choose to ignore that we're a very vocal generation. So we will go on TikTok, we will go on Instagram. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but we will do it. And even if we're not speaking ourselves about it, we're writing stuff in comments. I've seen people name and shame suppliers and really bad experiences that they've had with them on someone else's video.

No.

especially where it's a bit of a trend to now be asking for advice, which I think is so helpful. And I love scrolling through it and just kind of doom scroll and read them. But if you are a business that gets named in shame for the wrong reasons, that's definitely going to come back to bite you. And it's really hard to remove that piece of evidence as well, because you're going to reply to it and say, this isn't true and start a keyboard war kind of in the TikTok comment section. If you ignore it, again, it's still there for everyone to see. You can't delete it.

Yeah.

And so whilst I think in the past, we've been used to having a bit more control over our reviews and what we put on our website and what we put on our Instagram and TikTok. Now we're slowly as businesses losing that control, but it just means that we have to be even more mindful to the scrutiny.

Well,

yeah, and I don't know in the UK if Reddit is huge, but Reddit is. Yeah, it's huge here, and that's where ⁓ couples are getting advice or getting information. They're even getting pricing, you know, so like you may give your your, you know, to couple A, you've given your pricing and now couple A is going to blast it all over Reddit. You know, so it just there's so much that we have to navigate, you know that. Yeah, so.

Not as big, but I know it is in the States.

Be thankful that it's not over there yet because it's a big.

No, it might

not be this way, but we're always five years ahead of the States.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah. It's on its way. So all right. So signals. signals should pros listen to to understand who really holds the influence over the buying decision?

you

⁓ that's interesting. Sometimes they're not as obvious as you think. One that I always think is really big is kind of looking at who they keep looking at in the room. That's kind of a really big island queue where words don't have to be said. But often if you sit there and you kind of every time something's presented to you that you see that you present it to the couple and they kind of think, ⁓ what do you think? And they're asking maybe one parent more or one set of parents more or

Mm-hmm.

⁓ okay.

Sometimes you can listen to the couple and they say, we'll check this with so and so. I think it's really important to kind of just keep your ears and eyes really open in those first meetings, especially in that first one, because you'll get a really big indicator. I often think also there's no harm in kind of asking either before the first meeting or during the first meeting to think, are there any other key decision makers that maybe we should also include in the next conversation? It's a really polite way of not saying who's paying for the wedding.

But just saying, right, they're key decision makers, because actually, even if they're not paying or funding it, the couple might really want their parents views to be involved again, from a cultural community perspective. And so that's, I think, a really good subtle way to understand.

Mm-hmm.

I just worked with a couple recently where they were paying for their own wedding, but they really relied on the bride's mom for a lot of, yeah, a lot of decisions. And the bride's mom would, she looked at me she goes, I would pay for this, but they don't, they don't want me to pay for it. You know? And so she, but she goes, but I'm appreciative that they keep asking me for my advice. know, cause they, cause she, the couple felt that mom was more connected to like grandma's and the aunt, the older like.

And then.

Yeah.

Yeah. ⁓

How are they going to feel about this or any of that kind of stuff? So it was a really cute way. And it was nice that the couple set the tone going into it. Like, hey, we're paying for this, but my mom's very involved as well, kind of thing. So yeah, no. Right?

Yeah.

I love that. And again, it your life a lot easier as well, because then you know,

let's include mum on these conversations, because what you don't want to do is not have her in the conversations, know that she's there behind the scenes, but know that it's going to take a week until they have that conversation with her and it just slows down the decision making process.

Yeah,

because there's nothing worse that you've been dealing with a couple all along and then all of sudden at the end, you know, a family member shows up and you had no idea they were behind the scenes calling the shots and you're just like trying to navigate that. That's a whole nother whole nother topic. So all right. So what's one simple shift, you know, wedding vendors can make to improve communication and trust across like culture, religions.

Yeah, honestly.

One simple shift is ask the silly questions. I think we've already addressed that one slightly. But we have really been used to that dynamic where we say, right, we're the experts, we've done this numerous times before, and kind of really going in in that authoritative way to make sure that you can charge the highest amount and really get the most out of your clients. But I think when it comes to cross culture, that's really difficult to do. And we can't act like we know how their wedding is going to run because ultimately, they don't know how their wedding is going to run, especially if it's

Hmm.

two different, like we said, religions, cultures, generations. I even find that if someone is ⁓ of a different background and their first generation in the particular country where they're getting married, the way that they approach it versus someone who's third generation and their grandparents have lived there for really long, they'll approach it really differently. And so I think asking those questions, a big one that I always like to kind of recommend that businesses and venues ask.

is also tell me about the demographic at the wedding. Like, are we having kids? Are we having kind of grandparents? And I think that gives you a really good indicator as well of the vibe of their wedding, and perhaps what's important to them. And like you said, the fact that the mum in that previous example, was a key decision maker, because she understood grandparents, that's something that was important to the client. So if you're a DJ, if you're a caterer, you're already going to know, right, where are we going to seat them to make sure that they have the best experience, they're not too close to the to the speakers, for example.

Mm-hmm.

you

all of that stuff that you can then take your experience, like you said, and bring it to them as a suggestion, because they're doing this for the first time most of the time. So they're not going to know that they're going to think, you know what, grandparents, out of respect, especially in kind of cross-cultural weddings, out of respect, let's sit them right at the front of the dance floor. But actually, they don't need to be right at the front, because they're going to be really uncomfortable right at the front. So that's, that's where, kind of as businesses, we can get more involved, in a way, show our authority in a way.

You

which is important, but it's about asking the questions first.

Yeah. All right. So how does clear communication shorten the sales cycle and prevent issues later?

Well, I mean, we've already talked about one of them. If you have all the decision makers in the room on that first meeting, that sales cycle is going to be so much shorter than if you have one meeting with the couple, one meeting with one set of parents, and then the third meeting with the other set of parents. ⁓ But if you don't know in advance who's making the decisions, that's going to be a really tricky one. So I think just asking that question first, shorten it the most.

Mmm.

And I think secondly, there's probably some questions that we can ask maybe when we're doing a bit of data capture as well, just around, hey, what's your vibe? It doesn't need to be what's your last story, which we used to ask, it should be what's your vibe? Because if they're saying fun party, you already know where the conversation is going to go. And you can come to that first meeting a bit more prepped as well. Another one that I find is a lot of value led follow ups work really well with Gen Z. So say you've had a great first meeting.

Hmm.

And everyone's always scared because Gen Z are apparently ghosting everyone at the moment, which I agree they are. But it's because Gen Z would rather do that than say no. It's a really bizarre thing. But if you can follow up in a more value led way and say, hey, I remember in our first meeting, we had discussed these are the this is the venue and you know, you're getting married in July. And I remember that you mentioned you like Bridgerton, for example. I saw this real wedding on Vogue and I thought I'd send it over. Those kind of follow ups to then say, are you free for a chat on Friday?

Yeah.

is going to again shorten your sales cycle because they're going to think, wow, this person cares and this person listens, ⁓ as opposed to, hey, just checking in, just following up.

Yeah, that goes a long way. All right, so what's the hard truth wedding pros need to hear about selling to modern multicultural couples?

The hard truth they need to hear is that you're not going to know everything. ⁓ And that's absolutely fine. But you can't keep using the old selling techniques that you have been trying to do to sell to them. You, I would say think of this as a whole new era of your business. I think we need to be educating ourselves a lot more. I think we need to be retraining ourselves. I think I'm seeing too many businesses get too comfortable and kind of thinking, well, my business is doing the...

revenue that I want it to be making and I've been so successful and I've got this brand reputation in the industry. The harsh truth is that your brand reputation is not going to follow you through to the next two to five years when it comes to Gen Z multicultural couples.

I have a saying that I tell my staff all the time that you're only as good as your last event or wedding. And if you really sucked or really blew it at their last wedding, we suck and we're really bad. we, you so you got to, know, and I think that's the same with what you're talking about. If you don't continue to evolve and grow and learn from your mistakes or, you know, cause I see there's so many wedding vendors that I see that do the same mistakes over and over again. And then eventually you don't see them anymore for that very reason.

Yeah, everyone, think, I say everyone, but those businesses that have been established for quite a while start to get a bit complacent. ⁓ I think, right, we don't need to upskill, we don't need to be networking, we don't need to be at all of these events. ⁓ And they're realizing that they're slowly working themselves out of that referral loop that everyone's been so used to.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and I think a lot of business owners in that situation just don't listen to feedback, you know, because they're very comfortable where they are. And that's where that really hurts them. And that was the biggest lesson I had to learn in my business a long time ago. But feedback is the most important thing that we're dealing with. And you got to hear it. And you may not like what the person's telling you, but that's part of it. And that's the only way you're going to grow. So yeah.

I mean, it is the harsh truth. If you're

not doing something right, you would rather fix it ASAP instead of like you said, keep repeating the mistake five to 10 years or five to 10 weddings down the line. And then you become known for the person that makes those mistakes.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. All right. So if a business owner wants to future proof their brand, what shift ⁓ do they need to do right now?

Mm-hmm.

training and being at events. think at the moment there's so many amazing speakers and I love networking. I'm relatively new to the industry. I'm only about four to five years in at the moment. And I'm just seeing such a big shift in those businesses that you keep seeing at these events because they love to upscale and actually how they are building, like we said, that new referral loop just by showing up in person. Because I think

Yeah.

Something we don't realize is that especially in the industry, we don't actually see people on the job on the day. Everyone is too consumed and siloed into doing what they need to do. The planners and the coordinators are running around doing their thing. Caterers are doing their own thing on their own schedule. The makeup artists may not ever see the cake artists, for example. And so it's a really lonely industry to be in. And I think COVID kind of did exaggerate that a lot. Whereas I'm now seeing those businesses that are enjoying it a lot more, especially

Hmm.

It may not be the busiest year because we've got the meat to marry gap that's taken place post COVID. But that means it's time to reset your foundation. So I think for those businesses, that would be my advice.

Yeah, I love it. And that's really, really good advice because I mean, whether it's, you know, cultural weddings or non-cultural, I mean, it is. I mean, that's really what you need to do to future proof your brand. So, all right. So, where can folks find you, learn more about your work?

⁓ Instagram, LinkedIn, so my Instagram is nshika.weddings. I have LinkedIn, maybe we can pop those links somewhere as well. But I love to work with venues and businesses, especially when it comes to multicultural competence training, levering up their business, whether it be looking at it from a Gen Z or even a tech perspective as well.

I love it. All right. Well, we sent out a great email and we'll have all of our information in our show notes ⁓ as well. So we'll make sure to blast you all that information all over the place. So I can't thank you enough. I've really enjoyed our conversation today and I appreciate you being here on another episode of Mind Your Wedding Business. Thank you.

Amazing.

Thank you so much for having me.