Hear how answering three questions can help you lead a more purpose-driven and fully activated life from Sebastian (Seb) Terry, the 2025 DMEC Annual Conference speaker. Listen in for a fresh take on how people can gain more control over change by pausing long enough to consider their role in it and their ability to influence outcomes.

And join us for the 2025 DMEC Annual Conference in Washington, D.C. Aug. 4-7 to hear more from Seb, and to capitalize on the unique opportunity to focus on the intricacies of leave management with hundreds of your peers. You'll find solutions to everyday challenges and gain the support and guidance you need for future success.

Register today: https://dmec.org/annual-conference/

DMEC: Welcome to Absence Management Perspectives: A DMEC Podcast. The Disability Management Employer Coalition, or DMEC as we're known by most people, provides focused education, knowledge and networking opportunities for absence and disability management professionals. DMEC has become a leading voice in the industry and represents more than 16,000 professionals from organizations of all sizes across the United States and Canada. This podcast series will focus on industry perspectives and provide the opportunity to delve more deeply into issues that affect DMEC members and the community as a whole. We're thrilled to have you with us and hope you will visit us at www.dmec.org to get a full picture of what we have to offer, from webinars and publications to conferences, certifications, and much more. Let's get started and meet the people behind the processes.

Seb Terry: Well, firstly, thanks for having me today and hello to everyone who's listening. I can't wait to meet you all at the conference. But yeah, I mean, I was never, it was never my intent to become a quote unquote motivational speaker. It was very organic. You know, my backstory, as you know, is centers around a bucket list that I created after I lost a friend and it was my attempt at trying to find happiness. And as I started doing these things from my list, I guess it was a little bit different. I've been doing this about 16 years. And so I remember when I started and I was telling my friends, “Well, I'm dropping everything in my life to pursue this list,” it got a bit of attention. And from that came, as you say, the book that you mentioned and a TV show and people would, would hear about it and say, well, that's a really interesting concept. Do you want to come and speak on stages? You want to come and speak to my school? You want to come and speak to my, my small business? And so I, at first, when I started speaking 14, 15 years ago, it was all about Just telling a few fun stories with a prompt at the end which is, you know, what, what's on your list? And then I just realized that, and the feedback I was getting is it was really resonating with a lot of people and I just kept on being invited to speak. And so I've sort of very much lent into that. So now, you know, I'm very busy as a speaker, which is great.

But yeah, it was very accidental, but I'm so grateful that it happened.

Heather Grimshaw: So one of the things you talk about on the website is the difference between a disengaged or a stagnant life, I think, are the words that you use and one that's purpose driven and fully activated. So I'm hoping you'll talk a little bit about the most common barrier between those two things.

Seb Terry: There are so many different ways to talk about this. And I think people in general get the idea that, you know, there are those of us who are living in a way which is, I don't say optimized.

I think that that lends itself to a different kind of conversation or. Yeah, but, you know, living well, enjoying ourselves, et cetera, and then this other life where we're sort of more of a passenger.

And for me, having spoken and been so privileged to speak to a lot of people over the years, I sort of found that the, the people who are not only sort of meeting their potential but exceeding it in every realm of their life. They were incorporating four things into their daily lifestyle, personally and professionally, in and out of the workplace that would allow them to do so. And I think these four things were agency, expression, connection and meaning. And by that, I think, you know, people were displaying with regards to agency, they were taking action daily on things that they felt were meaningful to them. Again, whether they were personal goals or professional goals, showing themselves that they could have a, you know, a real effect on their own lives. This idea of expression is, as I would define it, it's sort of the courage to be our most authentic selves in any situation, by ourselves, with friends, with families, with strangers, with peers, with colleagues, with clients, with, you know, whoever. And, and I think that's a courageous act. But the people who are again, exceeding that their sort of potential were, were. Were fully expressed, leading on to connection. You know, I talk a lot on stage about this idea of we're strong alone, but we're better together then, you know, how do we come together? Well, you know, top level, it's connection. But I think connection sort of has two subcategories and that is the ability to connect with someone through helping, supporting them and then having at the same time the vulnerability to be supported when we need to be supported. So that was the connection piece. And then finally meaning, um, and, and you know, this could be meaning, it could be purpose, it could be, you know, any one of these sort of words, but arranging our lives in a way that we feel really matters. And as a result of that, we find that there is some form of contribution to something outside of ourselves. And, and so anyway, back to the, the four things: Agency, expression, meaning and connection. I, I, I think if you have those four ingredients, you are living a life where you are fully alive. And that's where I think we should all be.

Heather Grimshaw: And I like the comment that you made about passenger versus I would assume a driver in life. One of the things that you also mentioned is achieving sustainable motivation. So a lot of people go to these conferences and they get really excited about possibilities and they listen to people like you who are inspirational and then they go back to their lives and they're sort of overwhelmed.

And I'm curious to hear about, of what you found helps in terms of sustaining that type of motivation.

Seb Terry: Yeah, well, it's such a good question. And again, it's, it's, it's a much longer conversation, but I would say at the heart of it, to be able to sustain motivation for ourselves again through the lens of corporate, you know, professional or personal lives, whatever it might be, I think we need to be really clear on what's important to us. You know, and, and obviously, you know, I talk about this idea of having a list of things. I think it's important, a list of things that reflect every aspect of our lives. And I think if we see that list every day and the things on that list are very considered by ourselves, I think there is a natural element of motivation that comes, you know, what, whatever it is, I want to travel more, I want to connect with my friends more, I want to see my family more, I want to be a father or mother. You know, I want to do that sail trip, whatever it might be. I want to meditate more. You know, it doesn't have to be something extravagant or world changing. So I think firstly, if we have this list in front of us consistently, that helps us. I think at the end of the day, nothing happens without action. So I think consistent action is needed. And when we take, and anyone listening knows this, when you take action on something that's important to you, no matter what it is, we feel good.

And that feeling does become sort of addictive in a nice way. You know, you have serotonin and dopamine released into the body, which, you know, dopamine allows us to feel good. It's, as I said, it's addictive, it's a motivator. Serotonin reduces depression, regulates anxiety, and these chemicals are released not only when we achieve the goal, but when we first take action. So if we can just start with just building micro action steps every day, just something, sending one email is good enough,

that's a good way to sustain motivation. And the other thing I would say is the people around us having a support group. The support group sounds very. That's probably not the right way to put it.

But just having an accountability buddy, if we have accountability, it's one of the most potent tools when it comes to actual progress, Whether it's one person or a group of people. We should surround ourselves with people who we can talk to openly about our goals, who we allow in, allow to help us to, you know, join us on occasions. And if we're able to have those people who also inspire us and motivate us themselves, I think that really helps as well. So I think it comes down to having clear goals. I think it's about taking action and I think it's about having the right people around us.

Heather Grimshaw: Yeah, I like that. And I like what you said about allowing people in. It kind of connects to something you said earlier about vulnerability and really asking for people to help you and being willing to help.

Seb Terry: On my list is to go to France. We're not going to France. On my list is to learn French.

So I've decided to go to France in a couple of weeks. I put on my Instagram last night. I've just booked a flight to France. I have no plans. Would love to connect with anyone out there who's, you know, open to a coffee or whatever. I have 50 messages from complete strangers saying, sure, let's get a coffee, which is amazing. And, and so what I've done there, and this is, I think the kind of, the learning for me and everyone is that if you are vulnerable enough to put it out there, people will naturally want to support us. I found that my whole journey I've achieved the most outrageous, outrageous things. I've delivered a stranger's baby, you know, from my list. And that happened for me, just being vocal about what I wanted to do. So if we can be vulnerable knowing that, hey, worst case, no one's going to respond, that's okay too. But what we find is that people Intrinsically want to connect and help each other out. So, yeah, it's about being vulnerable and putting it out there and then the journey begins.

So I'm. I haven't responded to these messages yet, but I will absolutely be having coffee with strangers in Paris. I can't wait.

Heather Grimshaw: Oh, I love that. That's fantastic. And it's a great example. Okay, so I was intrigued by a question that I read on your website in the common FAQ section. And I'm just going to read it out because I again, very intrigued. Will my staff quit their jobs after listening to Seb? Can you talk a little bit about why employers think this might happen and what it says, if anything, about how employers can connect differently with their employees?

Seb Terry: Yeah, I mean, when I first started speaking, I would get that question often from, you know, employers. You know, if you come in there and talk about your bucket list, will people leave that day to go and travel to, you know, Milan or do a safari in Africa? And now I get it less. In fact, it's the opposite. I find that a lot of the clients that I speak to, huge names, will have a very proactive policy on ensuring that their staff, their mental health and their personal lives are addressed just as much as their professional lives. It's, it's a really interesting balance. You know, you can understand why I'm one half of the sort of the conversation an employer might feel. Well, I don't want my person to go and, you know, do all their bucket list items because they might be working hard. But that's not what I talk about. I talk about the concept of goals that represent every aspect of our life, personal and professional, and what we're finding in this day and age. Post Covid with mental health being such a hot topic of conversation, is that it is impossible for anyone just to go to work and prioritize that above all else, exclusively do only work task because we do burn out, we become disengaged, we forget about ourselves. I'm guilty of it too, by the way. You know, as a speaker, I'm very busy and I commit a lot of my time to my, to my, to speaking, you know, behind the scenes. It's a lot of work. Maybe not, you know, people might not think that, but it's, it's actually a lot of work. And this trip to Paris, again using this as an example is, well, what about my list? The things that I want to do by me going to Paris, it's just a week. I get to check that box on a personal Level, which is to do with kind of travel and learn, you know, personal development, learning a language and completely reinspire myself so that when I come back, I'm, you know, I, I can talk about it. I can feel that energy. I feel accomplished, I feel proud. I feel all those psychological benefits don't just sit in my personal life. They, they filter and bleed, of course, into my professional life as well. On stage, for example, I'm known for being very energetic and people, you know, say very nice things about how it feels very authentic and, you know, I'm passionate and they feel that on stage. I think, by the way, passion does inspire passion. We can talk about that too. But I, that wouldn't happen if all I did was try and get on stage and speak more and make more money. You know, a bucket list is a list of things that reflect every aspect of our life, from financial security to professional development to mental health, to travel, to creativity, to romantic love to friendship and everything in between. So, yes, employers who, yeah, employers who worry that will my staff leave after hearing me speak are perhaps thinking about it in the wrong way. It's much more integrated than that. And I, and to be honest, not many people think that anymore, which is nice.

Heather Grimshaw: That is nice. I'm glad to hear that. And I think that it kind of leads into my next question, which is how employers can help their teams lean into their passions and sort of embrace that. As you said, passion inspires passion. And if you, if you are exploring all those other elements, what that enhances or how that enhances your, your time at work?

Seb Terry: Well, I, I, There are some incredible statistics around this. 77% of employees in the US right now feel underappreciated in the workplace. Of those, almost half say they would work harder if they were simply just recognized for the work that they do. The majority of workers in the US right now don't feel seen or heard or understood or even, you know, acknowledged. And, but when we do, when workers feel seen and heard and all that sort of stuff, they, they work harder, they work harder, they commit, they are much more motivated because they feel seen like any human. And I say that not really to look just through the corporate lens. It's true for all of us in a family, in a community, in a friendship circle. Of course, in business, when we feel that we're seen as the humans that we are, when we feel acknowledged, given a voice, et cetera, we're just better people. We connect better, we perform better in any aspect of our life. And so really, I think back to your question, when employers are trying to motivate their staff, you know, they want them to feel engaged, inspired and all that sort of stuff. All they really have to do is just see them and hear them and let them know that they support their, their people, their teams, as humans, not just as employees. And that starts with just conversation during the keynote. I'm sure we'll do it. You know, there are three key questions that people can ask each other which just essentially cultivate a really, really beautiful, you know, friendship or partnership or relationship, whatever you want to call it. You know, the first is we have to lead with curiosity. And in a, in any room between a room of a thousand people or a conversation between two people,

if one person says to the person next to them, hey, what's your biggest dream? That person will share something that's quite vulnerable. And then of course you swap. So suddenly both people feel seen.

If you then say, what are you struggling with the most? You drop into this sort of level of empathy, like, and again, it requires vulnerability, but you understand something a little bit deeper. And then at the end of that you say, where do you need support?

Not necessarily how can I support you? But I'm curious, where would you need support if you were able to get a, that person? And both people would feel absolutely seen and heard and valued and acknowledged, all these wonderful words and given a voice. After a five minute period, everyone will feel energized, everyone will feel seen and valued. Every. The room will be buzzing with energy and suddenly you have a workforce or a team who are just ready for action. And it's as simple as that.

Heather Grimshaw: I think those questions are really powerful. So I'm looking forward to that, to that experience. There's a lot of change in the world of leave management. So I'm hoping you'll talk a little bit about how change can fuel productivity, teamwork and long term success.

Seb Terry: Yeah, well, I mean, change is such an interesting topic. I feel that it's very easy for anyone to sort of stand on stage and say, well, you know, we must adapt to the change around us.

Because it's true, there is so much change around us. Give it, you know, right now there's a war going on, you know, that we see on the news every day. There's, you know, there's political unrest, there's economic, you know, uncertainty, there's, you know, all of these things that, you know, market pressures, but consumer behavior, just people in general, that's always happening. So I think first it's good to know that we can't control everything. What we can control, though, is our response to all of these things. There has to be a pause between the event that's happening so that we can think and then consider how we want to respond as opposed to just immediately react. That's an interesting concept, but I think what I like to talk about is the idea that, yes, we must, of course, change to the circumstances, environments around us. But what's far more empowering is that we can create change ourselves. And it's that that I think allows us to become motivated and, as you say, engaged and so that we can kind of perform and grow and sustain success, if you will. How do we create change? Well, it's. It's simply through goal setting. I say simply. I mean, it's a process to get to a point where we know what we want to do as an individual, as a group, if it's. If it's a group. Of course, as we come together for this conference, we need to be thinking about what's our shared vision, what needs to change from this moment onwards, as we leave the doors of this room, what happens? What do I need to do? Which kind of brings us to the roles. Once we have that shared vision. What is your role? What are the roles of the people around you? And when we're clear on that, well, then it's just about taking action. And through that action will become that change and hopefully the attainment of those goals.

But yeah, changes, it's scary because it takes us away from what we know. We fear very much, you know, losing control. We fear, you know, a lot of. A lot of us, including myself, has, you know, a fear of failure, a fear of the unknown, you know, what will happen to any sort of, where will I be in the hierarchy of this company or family or. There are so many things that we don't know. So I think when change happens, rather than trying to amplify the goodness that might happen at the end, I think it's also important to sort of minimize the fear that people have on the onset of change happening. It's okay. It's okay for things to change, they must do for us to evolve. We've all changed to get where we are right now and to get where we want to go. We're going to have to change again, and we can do it together.

Heather Grimshaw: That's great. So the last question I wanted to ask you is actually a quote on your website. With tools, we become able. With possibility, we become unstoppable. And so this is a concept that really resonates with DMEC members, as well as anyone, frankly, who works in disability and absence management. So I'm hoping that you'll share a little bit about what led you to post that quote on your website.

Seb Terry: Well, first I'm curious as to why you think that resonates with you.

Heather Grimshaw: So I think that the concept of being able and really embracing possibility and having that inspire you and maybe fuel you forward is something that is not limited to people who are abled, quote unquote, but it's a holistic concept. And so I guess that's kind of what really intrigued me and what I was hoping you would share with us.

Seb Terry: Yeah, well, I, I mean, look, I think when I talk about the tools there, you know, I think that sort of like the intellectual piece of, of, you know, the intellectual piece is needed for us to take action and to grow. Like I can very easily say, and so could anyone. We need to be clear on our goals. We need to have an action step. We need to have the people around us, we need to have the,

the conviction to take action, etc. It's very easy to say and everyone can sort of have that in front of them. But what, what I, when I say that sort of possibility is the, is the thing that really allows us to, to kind of. It's one of the biggest things that allows us to actually just press go. I think it's a few things. I think one is again, seeing others do things around us, knowing that, oh, wow, you can do that, you can just take action. You can just take action in the face of fear of the unknown. That allows us to think bigger, that, you know, as individuals, as collectives. And so I would say that I had this really great analogy recently, and I don't remember it word for word, but it was essentially, I think it was around parenting maybe. But if you imagine a tree, someone asked somebody, what is the role of a parent? And the parents, if you imagine, you know, they're halfway up this tree and their kids are at the bottom of the tree, the parents job is to illuminate the branches above them so that the kids can see what's possible and how high they could potentially, potentially get. And I think that's what we're trying to do as leaders, as friends, as partners, as, you know, as colleagues, as peers, as clients. We're trying to illuminate the branches above so other people can see what's possible and so they can then use the tools that they have to get up there.

Heather Grimshaw: Oh, I love that. Well, thank you so much for spending some time with us today. And I have to say, I'm really looking forward to the presentation and to hearing about your trip to Paris. That sounds fantastic.

Seb Terry: Oh, my gosh, yes. I'll come back fluent, no doubt. So appreciate your time, too, Heather. Take care, and we'll see you soon.