Are you carrying wounds from your past that are quietly controlling your present?

Maybe it's a betrayal. A failure. A season of loss you never fully processed.

You've buried it under busyness, success, even ministry work — but it's still there, shaping how you lead, how you decide, how you trust.

Athena Dean Holtz is the founder of Redemption Press and a pioneer in Christian independent publishing.

Her story includes building a $3.5 million company, losing everything to spiritual abuse and deception, and discovering that unhealed trauma left her vulnerable to manipulation.

Through her work with veterans struggling with PTSD, she realized we all carry wounds — and ignoring them doesn't make us stronger. It makes us susceptible.

Join us as Athena shares how self-awareness, biblical counseling, and the hard work of forgiveness became the pathway to restoration, and how the same principles that help veterans can help any believer walk in freedom.

Redeem Your Business Today by the Following:

How can we honor God in our business?

God wants your wholeness, not just your output. Unhealed wounds make us vulnerable to poor decisions and broken trust. Ask Him to show you your heart, find a safe person to process with, and begin with forgiveness.

One challenge from today:

Pray this prayer: "Lord, show me how the enemy tries to silence me and keep me wounded. Help me not to lie to myself. Who is the first person You want me to forgive?" Then take one step toward healing this week.

More About Athena Dean Holtz

Website: redemption-press.com

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Of all the Bible characters in the Bible, obviously in the Bible that were overcomers, Joseph is one of my favorite. Imagine being Joseph. You go to check up on your brothers, you're thrown down in a pit thinking you're going to die there. Then later on, they bring you out just to sell you into captivity. You go to Potiphar's house and things are going well. Then you're falsely accused by the wife and you're thrown in jail. Later on, you think you're going to get out of jail and that you have the

The cupbearer forgets you for another two years and finally you get out of jail. And Joseph is the leader of the land. We think this is a great story and everything's fine, but he had a lot of trauma. He had a lot of hurt. And it's very interesting when you look at the names. He had two sons born to him during the years of Pliny. And the first born son was named Manasseh, which means forgetting. He said, God made me to forget all my toil and all my father's house.

And then the second son was Ephraim, which means fruitful, because he said, God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction. And even when he responded to his brothers in the end, he said, you you meant it for evil, God meant it for good. And so, but yeah, he went through a lot of trauma, both physically and emotionally, spiritually, all that stuff. And guess what? We go through trauma today too. And how do you deal with it? How do you resolve that? Or do you just continue letting it affect you day by day?

Today we have brought on Athena Holtz, who is a founder and owner of Redemption Press. She's going to tell us about her story and also give us some insights on how to solve and heal past traumas and hurts and why you need to do it. Because that is, I don't think we're, we're all affected by that. So Athena, welcome to Redeeming Business Today. And to start off with, ⁓ what is one way that you have found to honor God in your business that other people may not know about?

Well, thank you for having me, David. It's it's a just a delight to be here with you. Um, I think our, uh, model of publishing and deciding who we're going to publish, who we're going to partner with, um, it has come to a place where we really have to do a lot of vetting to make sure that the person that we're giving credibility to, and we're giving this

digital stage to and opening doors for that they're actually preaching the gospel and not some, you know, fluffy, ⁓ cheap grace, prosperity kind of doctrine. I mean, we want to make sure that what we're promoting and what we're endorsing is truly a biblical worldview. And so there are times when I have to just say,

Mm-hmm.

you know, we would love to work with you, but we can't do that. And maybe it was gonna be a very profitable project. And I have to just say, I can't endorse this belief system that you may not even be talking about it in the book, but if that's who you are and that's what you believe, then I am endorsing it and I can't do it. So that has been.

Hmm.

Yes.

a real, especially in this industry, in the Christian publishing industry, there are a lot of companies out there that just take anybody and everybody just because of the profit angle. so it has been a very refining and faith building decision to honor God in that way, because I have to just trust him to bring the authors that he wants us to work with.

Yep, and that's a courageous thing to do, to say no to business, but you're doing it because yeah, you want to honor God. God says, will honor those who honor me. Great for, good for you. I hope things go well for you and that takes off for you. And I think it has been. think, give us a little background of your story, how God's led you in publishing business and the details up to you as far as the whole trauma thing. I know you shared a lot of detail with me.

in our pre-call, but just give a little background of what's happened up to now and what are you doing today?

Okay.

All right. Well, 40 years ago, basically, I ended up as a new believer, getting involved in the publishing industry, kind of not intentionally. Shortly after following the Lord, when I was 33, right around the late 80s,

I ended up working with my then husband who was a Vietnam veteran. We worked together ⁓ launching Point Man Ministries, which was an organization that really tried to help Vietnam veterans and their family members understand post-traumatic stress before it was even a thing. mean, back then, you never heard PTSD as a word or anything about it.

Yes.

So we were in a church setting, setting up small groups and seeing just there was so much, ⁓ so many veterans saved during that time. And the wives, know, their husbands came home a different person than the one that left. And so just at that point in my life, I was learning all about this PTSD thing.

And at one point it was like, you know, working with the wives and realizing, gosh, there are so many things in our lives that past memories, past pain, that kind of controls us today. And I realized, you know, these veterans do not have a corner on the market for post-traumatic stress. We had our own baggage, whether it was childhood or teenage years or whatever.

that we had our own that we needed to recognize as well as understand our veteran husbands who are struggling as well. And so was during that time that we developed a book that was a layman, a veteran, but a layman explaining post-traumatic stress, all the different symptoms, what it looks like, why these veterans

Hmm.

The message was, you're not crazy. This PTSD is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. You're seeing people die all around you. That is not normal. And so just educating them on being able to see here's all that, whether it's depression or it's, you know, suicidal thoughts or ⁓

numbing yourself in relationships. were all these symptoms that we were teaching the guys, but also at the same time, we're like, wow, that's true for me. And so that book, we ended up having someone help us self-publish because ⁓ the Vietnam War was not well, in the 80s, was still, people were very, you know,

negative toward the whole conflict, everything that happened. So it wasn't something we could get a traditional publisher to take on. So we actually had a guy tell us, I can help you get this book published. It needs a rewrite. I can get you the rewrite, the cover, the layout, the ISBN number, and I can get you 10,000 copies for a Bucca piece. And we're like, wow, yeah.

Wow.

answer to prayer, you know, we had no idea where we're get $10,000, but we knew that was our answer because we knew the message. We needed to be able to just give away copies, sell copies, whatever God wanted us to do. like within a week, this guy who was a Korean veteran who we did not know personally showed up at our ministry office and said, you know what, I've

I love what you're doing. I love the ministry you have with veterans. I heard about this need. Here you go. Wrote a check for the entire amount. And that was just like, wow. I mean, as a pretty new believer, that was a faith builder that God knew and he was in charge. And so ⁓ we published the book. Two years later, we were down to one case.

Wow, neat.

Yeah, cool.

yeah.

50 books left. we were in the 700, getting ready to go on the 700 Club. were in the green room because CBN was putting on a big veterans conference that we were part of. And we met a guy there who said, who was a kind of more of a music ⁓ manager. But he said, you've gone through 10,000 books in two years. Do know how good that is? I think I can get a publisher for you.

And we're like, well, praise Jesus because we lived on that money that we made from selling those books. Cause we were not on a regular salary. We were just by faith doing this ministry work. And he did, he went and pitched the book idea to the senior editor at Multnomah at the time, Larry Libby. And ⁓ just so happened his brother was a Vietnam veteran. So it was like a total set up.

Hmm. Connection. yeah.

And ⁓ Multnomah said yes, they printed the next 40,000 copies, then gave us the rights back. ⁓ So the third edition of that book actually has sold over 250,000 copies and with a million in print, because the VFW has been given permission to just print it and give it away. ⁓

printed. Wow.

So that was a very successful self-publishing experience that turned into a traditional contract. so people just started asking me, gee, can you help me with my, I have a book I want to write. Like, well, I guess so. I know how to do this. And that began.

Sure, sure, wow. I guess so. I've done it once, sure. Yeah.

what was called Wine Press Publishing. We co-founded that company and we're really the pioneer of the independent publishing movement in the Christian market in the early 90s with Wine Press Publishing, which really was the first credible publishing company that did that kind of work, custom publishing for ministries and believers. ⁓

everything that a traditional publisher would do, great editing, development, all the things that oftentimes today, because it's so easy to get published, anybody can go to Amazon and upload a document and say, you know, I'm an author, but it hasn't been edited and it hasn't been developed and all the things that it actually needs. There's nobody there to say, whoa, hang on, you're not ready. ⁓ So

Time out.

It was just a real blessing to actually step into that and watch God build wine press publishing that eventually kind of was a God idea that got hijacked by the enemy. That's probably the easiest way for me to say that because we ended up publishing a book. And this is how I learned how to be very cautious about who I publish. ⁓

I ended up publishing for a quote unquote pastor because I met his wife at a writers conference and it turned out he was a false shepherd, he was a wolf in sheep's clothing and I even had red flags all over the place warning me that you shouldn't publish this guy. And I didn't want to do it because

Hmm.

that it was a big contract and he had to, he was ordering like 5,000 books. So I had all the bills that I knew needed to get paid off. I had them all figured out. And so did I want to see that red flag? Not at all. Did I recognize at the moment that that's what was going on? Of course not. But that was, ⁓ it was that experience that actually led to me being

Yeah.

you

Deceived for 13 years, experiencing just incredible spiritual abuse and losing everything. Losing my marriage, my family, my business. I mean, I ended up losing that 20 year old $3.5 million publishing company because I was deceived by this false shepherd and his wife.

That's quite the deal. That's trauma in and of itself. You're right. you may not have gone through stuff like that. I've gone through trauma, not like that, but yeah, I've been fired from a job, released from a job, laid off from a job. For me, that was devastating in the moment. Looking back, it's like, yep, I knew God was going to take care of us, but what do you do in the moment? Yeah.

Yes, yes.

⁓ We talked about self-awareness. You talk about PTSD and knowing where the trauma is, how to help the trauma. ⁓ Define self-awareness and what that is.

Well, that's a great question. And it ties right into when I came out of that 13 years of absolute spiritual abuse, deception, manipulation by scripture out of context, all the things that I experienced for that 13 years that I, the fact that I even survived it is a miracle. But coming out the other end, I'm like, Lord, what?

was that what did I just do for 13 years? How did I get to a place where I could believe a lie was the truth and give up everything for it thinking that I'm serving you, God? How did that happen? So that was a very important question for me to ask because I knew I needed to own

whatever my part, is there something in this where I brought this, maybe brought this on myself? Now that didn't mean what they did to me wasn't evil, because it was. It was horrible. But what was my part? And the first thing God showed me was that back when we were working with Point Man Ministries and seeing that PTSD was not just their deal, it was ours too.

God at that point was wooing me to himself to slow down, to take some time, get some counseling, get some healing for all of the trauma in my life that I had never stopped long enough to let him in on. And because I disobeyed him, I mean, it was very clear that's what he was asking me to do, but my...

self medication, my medication of choice at that point in my life was work and success and the thrill of starting a new company and doing a study and doing all the things that especially when it's successful. I mean, that's an easy drug to get hooked on. So yes, yes. Of course, we don't, it's not like we recognize it at the time. It's usually we look back and go, whoa,

⁓ yeah, that's a dopamine hit, man. was like, yes!

That really, that was my drug of choice. so because I asked the question, Lord, what was that? What was wrong with me? I disobeyed him. He was showing me healing that he wanted me to have. And I said, nah, I'm too busy, and just carried on with my workaholic ways, which, know.

those of us that are kind of type A, God made us this way, but we have to be willing to slow down and do the hard work that comes with any sort of healing and processing grief and pain. And so when he showed me that that was my fault and that that unhealed trauma left me vulnerable to deception, that was like,

a wow factor for me. like, wow, I had no idea I was setting myself, unknowingly setting myself up to be deceived because I was being controlled by these wounds and I didn't even know it. basically seeing that, seeing that I ignored red flags, seeing that I didn't trust God to just bring me another customer instead of

publishing this guy, those were all things that I had to own. I had to be self-aware enough to say, wow, that was my fault. And I had to repent. And I had to say, Lord, forgive me, because I was not, ⁓ I was not really, I was just too wrapped up in all the things that I thought were important to hear you and obey you. And so that was a real reckoning in my life.

to see what happened. The amazing thing is that that was a defining moment for me and my growth. I was very shallow when I started as a Christian. I just never went for depth. I was just like, okay, I read a scripture today, woohoo. Well, when God showed me, I didn't know the difference between scripture in context and out of context.

So I was easily manipulated. can prove a point on one sentence in scripture that sounds like it is, you know, making like, yes, this is what it says. But if you read before and then you read after, it can mean something totally different. And that was my bad. I mean,

Scripture tells us to be Bereans and to rightly divide the Word of God. I never did that. I never gave it much thought. And so all of a sudden I realized, okay, it's my fault that I got deceived because I didn't. And I don't want to make it sound like God's this so hard and he's a bully. No, not at all. That was conviction in my life that I had.

Hmm.

not that he was trying to warn me that he was raving those red flags that he was, you know, by the Holy Spirit, making me go, that doesn't sound right. How can that be? But I didn't I was easily silenced. So just to the whole idea of being self aware, it's so important to see that.

we can get all prideful, especially when we're entrepreneurs or we're in charge of a business and we're having success. It's so easy to think we have it all together and you know, things that appeal to our pride come along a lot more often when you're in the leader, when you're in charge, when you're the founder, when you're, you know, when you're the person where the buck stops. Those are some things that

yeah.

We are easily tempted by and just to humble ourselves enough to say, wow, I can easily be deceived and I was deceived. Teach me what you want me to learn from this Lord, because I don't want to go there again. And that's where the healing comes in is God wants us to be whole and to be healed.

And when we are, then we act rationally when things happen. We don't like overreact or underreact. We actually can be godly in the way we respond.

That's interesting that you pointed that out, that you were reading the Bible as surface level, but not an in-depth level in context. Because Peter talks about that, people twist the word of God, and you can, you're not supposed to, you need to take things in context, and here's to understand things, because that's where, yeah, lot of people twist the scriptures, but if you take it in context, you can't twist it. Another...

safety net, you might say, comes from the Old Testament. If you were to accuse somebody in the law of court, there's supposed to be two to three witnesses, two to three witnesses that I saw this person, I heard this person, whatever. The scriptures are also very good with that as well. If you come to a hard teaching or a doctrine, if it's true, it's usually in there at least twice, if not three times or more.

And it's very, very good to, it's not just one small little sentence in a verse, but it's in there multiple times. ⁓ The real obvious truths and salvation and eternal life and Jesus' birth and resurrection and all that stuff, in there multiple times. And so that's one thing for people to remember in looking at the truth of God's word. So can you give us a couple...

I mean, that's good. Can you give us a couple of simple, practical steps we could take to acknowledge our hurt and maybe take care, you what's the first steps in taking care of that trauma or hurt in our past?

All right, well, that's a great question. would, you know, if you have someone that you trust, that the kind of person that is, you know, understands the word, they're, not a yes person, they're not going to just say what you want to hear. They're willing to say, you know, I'm seeing this behavior. What, what do you think about that? Or, you know, that kind of person.

Now, if you don't have that kind of person, go to a biblical counselor that's going to help you process through. But to be able to say and pray with someone and say, Lord, I know there's things in my past, some I don't remember, some I do remember that are affecting me still today. Lord, show me my heart as you see it. So that's number one. mean, well, number two.

Sure. Yeah.

Find that

godly person that you trust that is a safe person. Ask God to show you your heart. And while you're at it, pray what David prayed in the Psalms, Lord, help me not to lie to myself. And that is, you know, if the heart is deceitfully wicked, who can know it? We need to ask God to help us not to be

Hmm.

⁓ lying to ourselves about because, know, we judge others based on what they do. We judge ourselves based on our intentions. And we always intend well, so we can be like kind of easy on ourselves, right? So, you know, to to go there, to start there and say, Lord, I want to start with whatever

loss, whatever trauma, whatever wound you want me to start with and, and, and trust that he's going to lead and guide through that time of prayer, really moving toward forgiveness. Cause forgiveness is, you know, it's such a huge thing that the enemy wants to keep us away from. He wants us to stay in unforgiveness, in bitterness.

in resentfulness and just all the things when someone's harmed us, you know, we might feel like we have the right to stay angry. And scripture says, be angry. It's okay to be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and let give the enemy a foothold. So going to bed angry.

Mm-hmm. yeah.

opens the door to the enemy and allows him to just bring all sorts of chaos and deception into our lives. So really asking the Lord, who is the first person Lord that I need to forgive? whether they've repented or not, whether they, you know, does that mean you're going to trust them? No, not necessarily. Trust is earned. Forgiveness is required. So

Mm-hmm. Yes.

to understand doesn't mean they have to repent, doesn't mean they have to be sorry, doesn't mean they admit it, none of those things. For your sake, ask God, Lord, who do you want me to forgive? Who's the first person I need to forgive? And start there because that is such a huge, I mean, God forgave us and we didn't deserve it. So there is no reason for us.

not to forgive that person, whatever they did. That is just, that is one of those conditional promises. If we forgive, God forgives us. And that is, I think that's the root of where the healing needs to start is with that forgiveness, even if we don't feel like it.

forgiveness.

Yep, it's a choice. Kind of love is a choice. Forgiveness is a choice as well. I think that's very good. I think another thing that you said was super good was find somebody you trust. It doesn't have to be professional person. It doesn't have to be professional counselor, psychologist, whatever. In times past, you went to your pastor. You went to your parents. You went to some older man or older woman, depending if you're a man or woman. You go to the older people who've been around and who have lived life.

and experience that and you get it from their perspective. It's just like you and me, if we had to look back, what would you say to your 20 year old self or somebody, yourself 20 years earlier? You'd give them all kinds of wisdom. That's what we get when we go to older people older than us. Professionals are great, but you can get a lot of help without going to the professionals. I think we need to remember that. And that's why just attending church and going to people and talking to them is a great win as well.

Yeah, if you have a life group or a small group that you can be part of within a church, because it's so easy for those of us who are wounded, for those of us who have undelt with stuff, and we are still kind of skittish, we want to go to a big church where we're not noticed and where we don't have to be accountable to others when it's important for us to seek out a

⁓

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

healthy life group where we can learn to have relationships and learn to trust again. Cause a lot of times we just don't trust anymore.

Yes, and that's when trust is broken, that's hard to get back. Well, ⁓ any final thoughts, parting challenge to my audience today when it comes to this or something else? What would you like them to remember if they forget everything else?

Exactly.

Well, I would like them to remember this. You cannot resist what you do not recognize. And there's a lot of spiritual battles that are going on when sometimes we don't even recognize them, that that is the enemy coming to kill, steal, and destroy, and to keep us in bondage and in a place where we're not emotionally or spiritually mature.

Hmm.

God wants us to grow up and he wants us to be healed. So I want to just encourage those that are listening that we...

As we add, God loves to answer that prayer. Lord, show me how the enemy tries to silence me, tries to keep me where I'm at and keep me isolated and keep me in a place where I'm still wounded. Show me Lord, so that I can grow in discernment and grow in recognizing how the enemy does try and dupe me so I can be on guard. Because scripture is

just full of scriptures about how we need to be sober and alert and on guard. And he loves to answer that prayer.

Yep, absolutely ask, lack of wisdom, ask of God, He'll give it to you. Athena, thank you so much for your time and encouragement today and about self-trauma and healing and finding restoration in that before, in going on. And friends, if you're looking to go deeper and to learn more about Athena and her publishing and all that, check out the show notes for some links and sites and contact information for her. And if you enjoyed this episode, I please encourage you to leave a rating and review, subscribe to the show and sign up for our newsletter.

Yes.

And you also get a verse for the week plus a challenge depending on that verse as well. And remember your business represents the great God you serve. So build a business worthy of God's great name in a way that honors him. Bye for now.