What do kids want in a family? The interesting thing is they are too young to know. They will come up with all kinds of answers that are often hilarious. However, if you dig deep, you find out that kids want parents who are constant, consistent, and calm.

This is the coolest thing you can do for your family. Too many parents today want to be “liked” or focus their whole lives on their kids. This isn’t good because it puts the kids in charge and they become the center of the family. Their mindset will get messed up and they will think they are the center of the universe.

What kids want and what they need are two different things and it's up to you to work to give them what they need instead of what they want. Yep, this means we have to do the work, but we are men and that’s what we do.

Constant

• Kids want constant predictable parents
• This doesn’t mean boring, but not full of drama
• Their life has good routines and the kids are included
• They want parents who love them and love each other
• This constant love feeds their life
• They want parents who act consistent and don’t “change” when the kid’s friends are around or when they get around other adults

Consistent

• We should be present at our current age and love life where we are as adults
• Own the fact that you are a dad and embrace it
• If all you talk about are the “good old days” you are communicating that becoming an adult stinks
• Let them know that as they get older they gain wisdom and that is better than being young
• This means we may have to do things to work on our lives and fix it
• If you need help in areas of your life, get the help, and don’t expect your child to “fix” you or to live through them

Calm

• Let them see that you are not living on emotional highs and lows
• You should not act like a middle schooler
• Help them see the long-term view of life
• Be empathetic but also help them see the things you have learned
• These stories help them get perspective on where they are at
• Tell the stories before they need them so they can remember them
• Be the adult. They need your love and empathy, but they don’t need you to jump on the emotional roller coaster with them

CHALLENGE:

• Do you need to be more constant, consistent, or calm?
• Pick one area to focus on so you can grow and improve as a parent

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