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Silver Screens & Second Acts: Reinvention after a Corporate Career
Episode 1491st August 2023 • Hey, Boomer • Wendy Green
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In this episode of "Hey, Boomer!" host Wendy Green interviews Melissa Davey, a guest who embodies the belief that one is never too old to set new goals or dream new dreams. Melissa, a former executive at a managed care company, shares her journey of reinvention at the age of 65.

Melissa had always been confident in her work, but as she grew older and experienced various life events, she gained even more confidence. At the age of 65, she started feeling that there was more she wanted to do. She took an inventory of her life, she made a list of goals, including writing a book and making a movie.

Melissa's decision to pursue filmmaking was solidified when she won an opportunity to spend a day on set with acclaimed filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan. Inspired by this experience, she embarked on a two-and-a-half-year journey to create her film, "Beyond 60." The film showcases the stories of various remarkable women, condensing over 80 hours of interviews into a compelling documentary.

Throughout the episode, both Melissa and Wendy emphasize the importance of resilience and embracing failure as a part of personal growth and development. They encourage listeners to look within themselves, recognize the confidence they have gained from their life experiences, and pursue their passions at any age.

Overall, this episode highlights the transformative power of reinvention and serves as an inspiration for listeners to pursue their dreams and embrace their own second acts.

Key Takeaways

  1. Confidence that comes with age gives you permission to follow a dream.
  2. Recognize the importance of resilience in personal growth and development.
  3. Overcome your fears and be open to new opportunities.
  4. Surround yourself with people that believe in you and support you.

Contact information:

Contact Melissa Davey



This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

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OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy
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Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Transcripts

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Hello and welcome to the hey Boomer Show.

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This is the show for those of us who believe that we are never

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too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

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My name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hay

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Boomer. And our guest today,

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Melissa Davies, is the embodiment of my

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favorite quote that you are never too old to set another goal

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or dream a new dream. At the age of

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65, Melissa was an executive at

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a managed care facility or company, and she had no

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desire to retire. But she also had this

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nagging question in her mind about

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what did I always want to do that I'm not going to get to

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do if I don't try it soon?

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So we never know how much time we

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have left. And that's a question that comes up a lot when I'm talking to

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people that are getting ready to retire or thinking about retirement,

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and they're like, what am I going to do? And the question

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is, what have you always wanted to do? But then there are those things that

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stop us. We call them know, am I too

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old? Other people are going to think I'm crazy.

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I wouldn't even know where to start. So

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we're going to talk to Melissa about some of this. But what she did

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was she started out with making a list of some of the

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things that she thought she would like to do that she had been putting

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off. And then something happened.

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The universe, I would say, intervened and

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gave her that little extra push that she needed

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to get started. So we're going to hear her story in

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just a moment. But

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did you know that there are multiple ways that you

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can connect with the Hay Boomer community?

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When you listen live, like some of you are doing now on Facebook,

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LinkedIn and YouTube, you can always add comments. We love

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to see the hellos. We also love to see the questions that come

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in and your comments, what you're learning from the

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episode. So feel free to participate in the comments.

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You can also download the Life Vitality

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assessment from the Hayboomer homepage

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and that will also subscribe you too our email list, where you will

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find out about upcoming shows and sometimes

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what I'm thinking about during the week. You can

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join our Boomer Banter or you can become a Boomer

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Believer. So the Boomer Banter is our online

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community and we meet once a month

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for companionship and discussion and laughing

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and learning. And we're building a

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community there. It's really a wonderful place

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and you can support the creative work that we're doing

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also as a Boomer Believer. So that's a

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monthly contribution. Or you can join

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our Facebook group. I'm going to share the links for how to

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do all of that in the show notes and in

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the takeaway clip that I will leave you with from the

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show. But before I do

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bring I want too bring melissa on and

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tell you a little bit about her. Hello,

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melissa. Hello, Wendy.

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I'm so glad you're here. So let me tell your story because it's so

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inspiring, and I think people are going to get a lot from this.

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So melissa is a documentary filmmaker who

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lives in valley forge, Pennsylvania. She's a wife,

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a mother, a grandmother to three young boys, and she's a world

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traveler and with a strong sense of curiosity.

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Melissa retired after more than two decades from

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GenX services, where she built and operated the

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company's Social Security representation division.

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GenX is the largest managed care case

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management organization in the US. Prior to

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that, melissa had almost 20 years of diversified experience in the

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field of disability. She had held senior leadership

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and management positions throughout her career.

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Melissa's second act is fueled by a lifelong

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passion for film and storytelling.

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So we want to hear about that. Melissa, I teased a little

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bit about how you came to this

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reinvention idea of being a filmmaker, but would you fill in the gaps for us,

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please? Yeah, sure. And thank you for having

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me. It's always fun to get to chat with other

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women you mentioned.

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I was 65, and I was in my corporate career when

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I had been in it for more than two decades at that

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point. And it was great. It

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was wonderful. It was one of the best jobs I've had, and I've

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had three or four different iterations of myself in the working

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world. But it was something

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about turning 65, and it certainly wasn't

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the company because they weren't ageist in any way. They

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had a lot of people who were my age.

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It was a very large national company.

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And I was sitting at my desk and I was like, gosh, I wonder,

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I really don't want to die at my desk. That used to be kind of

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a joke with my colleagues. And they would be like, what

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are you talking about? And they were just happy to keep moving

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along. And there was piece of

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dissatisfaction. And that surrounded

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me taking a look and inventory at my life and saying,

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have I really done all the things I want to do?

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And I had done a lot. So I'd had different careers, I'd

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had children, grandchildren, a

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marriage, all the things that would fulfill

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you. I traveled a lot, internationally as well as

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in the country, and so it was a fulfilling

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life. But when I really sat down and said, well, what

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are all these things that if I made a checklist,

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haven't I done that really, really want to do? And it was more

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than just saying, oh, take a trip to istanbul or

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whatever do at some point, whether I

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was working or not. So I made the list, and

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crazy things were on the list, like learn how to play a saxophone, and

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I don't read music. So that one fell off the list pretty

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quickly. But film was always I've always been

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interested in film and storytelling. So it's like write a

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book, make a movie. And they kept staying at

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the top, tell stories.

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And so I just started thinking about it. And then one

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day, two things happened in the midst

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of all this, and they happened simultaneously. And one was

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the CEO that I reported to came to me and said, oh, we're being

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bought again by private Equity.

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Because that had happened a few times in my

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Gen X. And he said, you know what that means? It means you're going to

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have to sign up again for another commitment for five years.

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Which normally I would just say, oh yeah, okay, that's great. But that's

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when I was 65 and I saw that number, 70,

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and I thought, oh yeah, will I be at the

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desk at 70? And then what will be after that? Will

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I wait and everything changes with yeah,

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it does. So that was the seed. And that

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was while I'm doing the list, I'm listening to this. This is happening.

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I went to a meeting in DC. The meeting know, a congressional

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meeting about Social Security. And I've been

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going there for years, and it was like Groundhog Day

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because the meeting never seemed to accomplish too

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much. And I remember sitting there with a friend of mine saying,

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I'm going to leave early today. I've had enough of this. We are not

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moving forward in my lifetime on these issues that have

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been at the forefront for 20 years. So I left and

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I came home and I didn't go to work. It was still early in the

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day. And I hooked up with a friend who I hadn't seen in a year

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because I was so busy. And I took a ride with

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her to pick up her daughter from school. And it's in

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the country out here near Valley Forge. And

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we were going up a dirt road to drop her daughter off at the horse

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barn where she worked after school. And

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she said, I come up here every day and I think they're

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making a movie over there. Take a look. So we drove up

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and dirt road, funny day. And I could

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see the cameras and I could see the lights, and I was like, yeah, definitely

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looks like a movie. So we dropped off Grace, her

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daughter came back around, and we sat down

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on the road in front of all this activity.

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And I said, you know, I bet I know who it is because it's

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creepy looking. It

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was a creepy vibe. The day was creepy. The

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trees were creepy, the lighting was wild,

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and it's Pennsylvania, and it's Chester County,

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Pennsylvania. And I thought, well, you know who makes movies here all the time?

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M night Shyamalan So I whipped out my iPhone

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and just put his name in. And sure enough,

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up comes a picture of him saying, M. Night

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Shyamalan's. Making a micro budget film in Chester

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County, Pennsylvania. And when I looked at his website,

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the picture on his website was where we were sitting.

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And I had just taken a picture of this incredibly beautiful

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but creepy view of this long driveway with all these

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craggly trees and the dark sky and the sun hitting and

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he had it on his website. So I said, well, it's definitely

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him. And there was a little button that said Charity Buzz and I

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didn't know what it was, so I hit it. And when I hit Charity

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Buzz, I learned that he had an educational foundation

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and it said Win a day on the set with M. Night Shyamalan

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and all the proceeds that you would bet

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would go to his foundation. So my girlfriend is like, you've got to

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do it. This is like Kismet, you need to do this right.

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So I did. Right while we were sitting there, I hit

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the Charity Buzz red button and I started bidding.

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It seemed that it was just me and a dentist

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from New Jersey who kept oh my know, other people were

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falling off and we just kept bidding. So short

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story is, I was at work about a week later and I had my

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phone up because I knew that I had kept bidding that

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night before and that they were going to announce that day and they

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announced that it was me that won the day on the set

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with Mr. Shyamalan. So in the next two,

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you know, after signing all the NDAs, there I was

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with him behind the camera and the entire crew for 8 hours

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in Philadelphia doing a scene for his film

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The Visit. And wow at

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that's

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a message. That's a message that's like, you're on the right track.

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This is here. Here's how you do it.

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Yeah. And I thoroughly enjoyed the

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experience so much. He was kind of

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laughing about the fact that I was so excited about it. And he

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really was very accommodating. He had me behind the camera telling

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me what he was doing, asking me what I thought I was with the

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crew. It was an amazing day.

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And we sat together at lunch and he said,

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I've never done Charity Buzz before and I'm so glad it was you and not

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some person that showed up with a script in their hand for me to read.

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And we were laughing about that. And he asked me what I

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did for work and I tried to explain it to him quickly, which

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isn't easy for somebody who's probably never heard

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of insurance and managed care and Social Security.

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And he looked at me really quizzically and he said,

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oh, what do you really want to do? And I said

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I said, I want your job. And he said, oh, you better hurry

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up. And he was kidding. And it

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hit me right in the middle of the stomach.

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And I remember it was just such an

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odd feeling because I knew that when he said that, he was

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kidding. But it was exactly what I needed to hear

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because he was right. I was 65 years old,

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and if I'm going to do this, I think I

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better seriously think about doing it now. So it was really at that

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moment, and it sounds cavalier and I don't mean it to

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that I said, I'm going to make a movie. I

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don't know what it is yet, but I think I'm going to try this.

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I'm going to do this. And by the time I got home that night, my

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husband couldn't wait to hear what I had. He knew how excited I

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was and he's like, so so what happened? How was it?

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And I said, John, I am going to quit my job

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and I am going to make a movie. And he just kind

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of looked at me and,

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you know, he knows I get excited about things. And the next

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day, I did go to the CEO and say, I'm going to put in my

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notice. It'll be a very long one because I wanted to make sure

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that I left the organization and

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the division that I was responsible for in good hands, so

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I would need to mentor somebody. So I gave a year's notice and I

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figured that would be a safe time for me to also begin this

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film process. So that's how it got kick started.

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That is such an amazing story

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of things happening when they needed to happen and giving you

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the push you needed. You said you

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didn't know what you were going to make a movie about, right? You didn't have

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any idea at that point. At that night when I went

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to bed, I did think about it. I was like, Wait a minute.

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I just said out loud to a couple of people, I'm going to make a

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movie, so I do need to figure out what

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that means. And I knew that I wasn't at a point to

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write a script. That's not what I was ready

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to do. And I knew what I was comfortable with, and that was

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storytelling and hearing stories from people, that was part

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of my life, part of my work. And so that was going to be

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comfortable. And then it just hit me, I'm

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65. Why not talk to other women

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who are over the age of 60, who have great stories to tell,

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to show people that they're still relevant, that

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they are resilient people. They've had all kinds

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of life experiences and their stories will

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resonate with people and hopefully make people think about their own

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stories and their own lives and maybe even prompt some people

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to try something new. So that's when I decided,

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I'm going to do interviews with women over the age of

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60 and let's just see what happens. And that's how 2nd

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60 was created.

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Melissa so you gave a year's notice. Did

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you have any trepidation during that

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time, that year of, what am I thinking? I'm going to

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leave this secure job and I'm going to go off into the wilderness and

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make this movie, and I don't know how to make a movie.

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I wasn't worried about learning something new

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because at 65 and you've had a lot of jobs and

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you've been real responsible for building

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divisions and companies and whatnot. I was pretty

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confident that even though I didn't know something,

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that I could learn it and I could surround myself with the people

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that I needed to make that happen. So that part wasn't

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scary. The walking away from the security

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of the money and the identity related to

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that earning power was a

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little bit nerve wracking. But giving myself that year

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of still being paid while I was putting

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this idea into play gave

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me a certain sense of security. So I didn't just quit my

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job and walk out the next day and sit at home and say,

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okay, now what do I do? I

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felt kind of almost like I was embraced to

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do this. Like, okay, the CEO and all the people I

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worked with knew I was doing this and they did embrace

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me and they did know that I was on the side. I was

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creating this movie process that I would walk

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into the day that I finally left the company.

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And it was that way. I had it set up that by the time

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I walked out the door, I had already done the first three

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interviews of the nine women and I was playing

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with, what am I going to do with this? Is it going to be a

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full fledged film? Is it going to be a short?

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Somebody even said maybe it'd be a podcast with different women

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that you would interview. But my hope was that it

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would be a film and that's what I turned it

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into. Watching the

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movie, I had so many thoughts going through my head

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about how did you decide,

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I'm going to do a little clip here and a little clip there and a

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little clip here, and the visuals that you

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used, like the swimming and the

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actress, how did you decide

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to tie all of that together? I mean, that had to take a lot

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of layout and thought and talking to

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people. Yes. And I went out. The first

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thing I did when I decided I was going to make this film was I

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went out and I found a production company in Philadelphia

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who was very interested in working with me on this. So

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they were all in late twenty s to late thirty s and they

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were my mentors. I was 65. They're showing me the

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ropes of what needs to be done to get a film done. So

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I use their camera people and I use their

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lighting and their sound. And then we put this

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together over a more than two and a half year period.

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That's how long it took to complete almost three years

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before it was out for viewing.

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And I learned a lot in the process.

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And when I would do each of the long interviews,

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like nine women, they probably had six to 8 hours

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of interview for each one. Actually, it was more

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than that because I think I ended up with 80 hours of tape.

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And it was trying to figure out, how do I get this to like, an

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hour, hour and a half and really tell the

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stories of each of these women? Because I think that they each had

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a very important message to send.

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It was trial and error and one thing that when I looked at

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them, when they were full interviews altogether, it

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was too much like talking heads. I thought I would lose people

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in the process. So we did start to play

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with let's just give a taste of Peggy in the

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beginning and leave it at a cliffhanger. She was the one who was

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kidnapped. And then let's give a taste of the

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original voice of Siri and a taste of each one, and

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then come back a couple of times during the filming

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to round out their stories and end with a

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message of sorts. Each one of them had some type of a

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message to send. So it was trial and

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error and learning as you go. So I see this

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as my senior project. That's what I call. Yeah.

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And curious. You know, when I started hey,

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boomer, I started it as Facebook Live,

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but it took me about a year before I was

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comfortable with saying, oh, yeah, I'm a podcast host,

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and I'm wondering if it took you some time to embrace that.

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Oh, yeah, I'm a filmmaker. I'm a director. I'm a

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producer. Yeah, it is a little funny

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to not have a film out yet and say, I'm

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a filmmaker. And so I did shy away from that, and

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there were a couple of people that said, well, you're not a filmmaker yet. You

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didn't make a film. I mean, people can be very

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direct. So I was always careful with that, you know what I mean?

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And then I realized, Wait a minute, I'm in the midst of

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making this very complicated film, and I had a lot of

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filmmakers and producers say to me, you are a

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filmmaker. You are one. You are making a film whether it

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does well or not. You're a filmmaker. This is what you're doing.

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So say it out loud and shout it from the rooftops and be

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proud as to what you're doing. So I did get more

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comfortable with it. Yeah. It's

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like when we graduate from college and we have our degree, okay, well, I'm a

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computer scientist or I'm a writer accountant or whatever.

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Right now we're making something up that.

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We'Ve never done before. Exactly.

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So it takes a while

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for that shift to collide with

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your confidence. And people shy away from

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their confidence a lot of times because they're afraid that they're going to

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sound like they're boasting or I don't

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know. And sometimes you do draw the wrong

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attention and some of the attention that you may receive

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could be seen as negative. But

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you have to let that go and you have to feel really good about whatever

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it is that you're doing. Whether you're playing a trombone or

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you're writing a book or you're making a film or you're doing a

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podcast, you are doing that. You're in

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the midst of it. Yeah, you

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need to be confident about it. You do. You need to be confident

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about it. I

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have a quote here. There were a couple of women in the movie that said

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age has given them permission to follow a dream

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or to say no to things that they don't want to do.

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So I'm wondering for you, did

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age give you this permission to

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other people might have said, well, you're not a filmmaker, but did age give you

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permission to finally say, yeah, that's what I am? Yes,

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there is this certain I mean, I always had confidence

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in myself in what I was doing at the moment.

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So whether I was in the nonprofit world or the for

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profit world, my work, when I felt good

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about it and I had learned what I needed to learn and I was always

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learning, I had a certain confidence about

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that. So too me. As you get older and you have all these

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experiences in life. Not just work experiences, life

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experiences. Marriages, divorces, children,

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grandchildren, travel, speaking with

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people, hearing stories, telling stories to people.

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There is this certain level of confidence where you feel

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good enough about yourself to say, hey, this is me.

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And I am now ready to do the next thing. And

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if people think that I'm not, well, let them think

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that because where that would have bothered me

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when I was younger. A couple of the comments that I received when I

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started doing this, it really would have bothered me. But I just

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thought, okay, they're looking at this with a completely different lens

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than mine and all of my

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chances and choices and decisions that I'm making are

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mine. And if I fail, I'll learn from the failure and

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move forward and do it a different way because that's the way

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you live life. So there is this

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confidence that comes with being older. And if

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there are people out there that think, well, I'm 65 or

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I'm 70 or whatever and I don't feel that confidence, maybe you

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need to look a little deeper because it's probably there and

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there are probably things that you have done in your life that somebody else

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would say, wow, I never could do that. Exactly.

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So it's just an age thing where you just and you're right. There

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was a theme with all of the women in the film saying,

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I can just say no. If I don't want to do it now, I can

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do whatever I want. And they all feel very comfortable and

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confident about that. Yeah, I think that was part of the

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resilience that came through with a lot of their stories.

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It was like we've all had

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challenges, things to overcome. And I love that you said,

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we've all done things that maybe we didn't look at as so brave

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or courageous or whatever, but somebody else might have looked

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at it and said, oh, my gosh, I can't believe you did that,

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and so giving ourselves credit. And I

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think the other thing, Melissa, and I'm sure you must have found this,

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is surrounding yourself with people that support you, that

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believe in know you have those naysayers,

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but did you have a tribe of people, or at least a few

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people that were like, melissa, you got this I know you can do.

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And I and I have a number of friends know, at times

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when I would feel anxious about it's not coming together the way I

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want it to, they would just say, Give it time. You've got

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whole, you have the view. It's just putting the puzzle

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together. So not only the young people in the production company who were

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wonderful, the crews that I worked with, my

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dearest friends, my husband, who

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I think was extremely skeptical in the very beginning,

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he doesn't take willy nilly risks.

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He's much more stable than I am that way, which

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makes us probably a great couple. But he became a great

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cheerleader, and he was a great listener, and

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he knew that I was going to do this. He saw me

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pushing through, and my children, my adult children, were

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like, mom, you can do anything you want. This is

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awesome. So you had enough of that around you

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to make the naysayers. And there were only a couple of them, and

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it wasn't bad. It was just like, you're not a

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filmmaker. You can't say you're a filmmaker. You don't know how to

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make a film. Now you do,

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and you're making a second film, right?

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Yes. Tell me about this second film.

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Well, the second film is called Climbing Into Life, and it is the

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life story of one woman instead of nine. I thought I bit

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off more than I could chew the first time, so this time I decided

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to stay a little more focused and do one woman

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story. And her name is Deirdre Wallonik, and she

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is the mother of Alex Honnold. And Alex Honoluld, if

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people are watching this and have seen the documentary Free

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Solo, that's her son that climbed El

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Capitan with no ropes and no help,

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nothing whatsoever, daunting the only one

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that's ever done it. So she's the

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mother. And she is a fascinating

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individual, an intellect, an artist, a

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musician, a professor, a linguist,

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a writer. I mean, she has done just about everything,

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but she was never an athlete. And she

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decided, as she got a little bit older now, wait

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a minute. And she has a daughter who's also a super

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athlete, and she started looking at her kids and saying,

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what am I missing here? Maybe I should

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get into their world and understand them better. And

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the short story is she asked her son Alex to teach

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her how to climb rock climb. So this started in

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her late 50s, early 60s, climbing in a gym.

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And then eventually she became the oldest

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woman to climb El Capitan in Yosemite, with

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ropes, of course, but her son led her up.

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And then on her 70th birthday, she did it with friends.

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And so I went out there a year ago to film her

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in Yosemite and at her home. And

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her story is just remarkable and fascinating.

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And it's with editors right now. We're going through the editor

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process and hopefully in

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late fall, I think. Did you have to climb with her to do

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the filming? No, we didn't do the El

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Capitan climb. She's already done those. So what we

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did was we went with a climbing videographer. I

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only had to climb up 1000ft to get to the point where she started

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climbing. You have

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no idea. We had a guide, my husband and I. He was doing some

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still photography and I had to

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sit down like every ten minutes on the way up. It was daunting.

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So that was their climb in just to get to start climbing El

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Cap. And it was amazing. So I had a climbing videographer

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going with her to capture pictures of her climbing.

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It was amazing. It was an amazing experience.

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And being in Yosemite is just

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unbelievable. And we had beautiful weather and it

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was gorgeous. Yeah, good. So that's the next one. So stay

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tuned, I hope. Late fall, people climbing into life.

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Climbing into life. Okay, so

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I'm curious as to how you get these out. Like, these

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don't come into the big theaters, right? So how do

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you get the word out and start to make some of the money back that

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it costs to make the movie? Well, that's a whole different

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story. That's the part that's not fun. That reminds me

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of corporate work. There's a whole legal aspect to everything, and

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insurance and all of that. Well, when 2nd 60

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was finished and I did

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the film festival circuit in 2018,

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19, and then COVID

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hit, and when COVID hit, everything stopped.

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I really couldn't get it out there. So I started

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talking with distributors about how it would get out onto the

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different streaming platforms or who would buy it or what would

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work. And their whole world

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shrunk down during COVID as well. So finally,

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by 2021, a distributor got in

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touch with me and said, I want to help you with this. Let's get it

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out. They got it on to Gravitas, who's a big

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distributor, and they put it out onto all the platforms.

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And as far as getting your money back as an independent filmmaker

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in today's world, that's like way down the

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road. So do I have small checks coming in now? Yes,

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very. But and it is being seen by

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tens of thousands of people. So that's making me happy. But you share,

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obviously, the profits with agents and

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distributors and the actual streaming platform itself,

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and then you're the last person that gets the next little

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check. But that goes on for the next 15 years.

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So hopefully I'll still be kicking at that point.

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The same thing. I will start talking with distributors

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before it's finished and see what kind of interest there is

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for a story like this. So you've had to

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do everything. You had to figure out how to put together the

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story, find the crews, be the director now, be the

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producer. The business end of things, too.

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Did you have any idea what you were taking on when you started

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this? Sort of because

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remember, I have built a division within a

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huge corporation and worked with other even larger

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corporations at a very granular level.

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And I know how hard it is to do that. And I know what

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it means to build teams of people that know more than you

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do about certain things. So I kind of had an

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idea. I knew what I didn't know, but I knew how

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to find the people that would help me figure that out. So that

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part wasn't really too bad. I think

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the biggest eye opener is in the distribution of it.

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It's very difficult. If it had been two years

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earlier, I would have had the opportunity to go

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to an Amazon or a Netflix and say, do you want to buy this film?

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And that was back when they were saying, sure, here's $250,000, we'll take

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it. Well, they haven't done that for a couple of years. They don't do that

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anymore. So it is a daunting task to get it out

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there. So I feel very fortunate that it

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is available for everybody to see and that it is being

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seen by lots of eyes. And I continue

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over the years and months to get wonderful feedback from

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people all over. People are seeing it on

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airplanes now. That's always fun.

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Well, it was easy to find. I went on YouTube, but

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you told me it's on Amazon Prime and Apple Plus and

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Voodoo. I mean, all these different places. And you can rent it or buy

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it. I think it was 399 or something to rent it.

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So everybody go and watch this beyond 60

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movie and at least a little bit more money might trickle

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in. Because it was very inspiring,

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though, watching these women. I wonder,

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when you did your interviews with them,

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I love that you actually here. I'm going to change this question a little bit.

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You brought in the young women at the end to talk to them

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about how they saw themselves when they got older.

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Where did you get that idea?

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We actually did them bookends at the beginning and the very end.

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And with the production company, I was like,

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okay, there was something missing and I didn't

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know what it was. And I just thought it would be nice to have

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something other than just the women's stories. And

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my first idea was to take the crew because

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the crew was very young and it were men and women

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on the crew and sit down and interview

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them about how these stories impacted

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them or did they and how did they feel about aging and did

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their views of older women change by doing this?

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The problem with that is crews changed and

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we're talking an almost three year period and to try to

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coordinate getting everybody sitting down in one

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place at one time, it was almost impossible. So

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one of the production guys that I was working with, Jim, he said, well,

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why don't we just grab some young women, same idea

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and see what they think? So then we started getting in touch with people in

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Philadelphia and all of the young women that you see are

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artists, know, just

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creatives from the Philadelphia area. And

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we got in touch with someone who set us up with these women

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and we interviewed them to see how they felt about aging.

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And I thought it was a nice juxtaposition

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for the older women stories. Yeah, it was interesting.

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So the other question that I was going to ask you is about

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resiliency and how you

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see yourself and those women and how resiliency has played

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a part in your lives.

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Some people will say it's an overused word, but I

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have to tell you, for myself and for all these women that I

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interviewed, it was in the forefront all the time.

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And that resilience is gained through

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having not a cushy life and a simple life,

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but having a life that has allowed you to

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experience so many different things and make so many different

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mistakes. That you have this new

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muscle that you build that's that resilience muscle

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that allows you to just keep popping back all

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the time and getting better at your next step.

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And I've found that with myself. If we

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had 12 hours to talk about all the mistakes I've made and all

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the changes I've been through in my lifetime and the nine women

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the same thing. And you? I'm sure we

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go through these difficult times in life, and as

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we get older, we look back and we realize, wow, we

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really racked up a lot of experiences.

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And those experiences and failures and

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missteps or whatever they might be caused our resilience

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muscle to just grow, which gives us this

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power as we get older and this

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interest and kind of intrigue about what else

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can we do? And the resilience factor will be there to get

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us through it. Even if we fail, even if I make a

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mistake. And I remember when I was younger, when I would

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make a mistake at work, I was crushed. And then

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I look back and I'm like, oh, it was just a silly mistake. And I

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learned from it and I moved forward. But why was I

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crushed? Why isn't failure okay? Failure

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is a part of growing and adding more to your

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bucket. Yeah, and I think you're right.

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That resilient muscle builds up because I think when we were young,

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we all wanted to be recognized as

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smart or capable or whatever, and we were afraid to make a mistake.

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And now it's like, exactly, okay, so I screwed up, so let's move

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on. I

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always end up on my feet just like a cat, right,

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exactly. And that's the beauty of getting

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older. If you're lucky enough to have your

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health and your mental acuity and

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all of that is intact. It doesn't matter how

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old you are, because the older you get, the more

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experiences you've had and the more opportunities then there are

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to learn some new that's. That makes

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me really happy when I talk to other women and men

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that talk about figuring that out in their

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lifetime and trying now to cram in as many new things

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as possible. Yeah. So, Melissa, if

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somebody was to come up to you today and say, help,

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I'm trying to figure out what my second act should be, could

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be, I'm afraid, what kind of advice do you think you would give

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them? Well, first I would ask them to make

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a list of all the things that they're interested in

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or have been interested in their lifetime, and then why didn't they

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try any of those? What is the reasoning behind

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why that list is there and it hasn't been acted

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upon? And what is holding you back? And normally,

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usually it's fear, the fear of the

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unknown and the fear of

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failure. And I think that's where there's so many

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people you can talk to about that. There are podcasts that

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talk about that. There are social workers,

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therapists that talk to you about fear because getting through

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that fear is amazing. It's just

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amazing when you get through to the other side and you realize, okay,

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that was really uncomfortable for about 20 minutes, and

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then, okay, but I get it now, I can see the picture and

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I'm going to move in that way. But people

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seem to put themselves in boxes as well.

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If you grew up and you were a scientist or you were a teacher or

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you were a nurse or whatever it was that

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identified you as an individual, that's not

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all there is. There's this whole complex

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person besides that job. So find

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out what it is that you're interested in and then start

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asking people for their assistance and guidance

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and just discussion about, well, where would you go if you wanted to

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do this? And the more people you ask, the more suggestions

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they will have. A

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caveat to that, I think. Make sure you ask the people

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that are supportive, right? Not people that are going to say you're not

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a filmmaker, but ask people that are going to be

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supportive and

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facing that fear. I mean, yes, it's hard and

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uncomfortable and it is so worth it when you come out

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the other side. It really is

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is. And again, a lot of people look at me and they go, oh, she

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probably knew about filmmaking, she probably went to school for it.

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No, I really didn't know quite what I

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was doing. And were there moments that I felt sick to my stomach?

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Yes. Because I thought, am I doing this

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right? Is it going to be right? But then it was like, stop asking and

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just do until you figure it out

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and you do come out the other side. And

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as long as you have that support of people

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who care about you and want to see you succeed,

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that pumps you up to no end and absolutely, you can really do

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whatever you want. Yeah. So let me tell

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people where to find you. So you can go to Melissa's

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website, beyond 60. Com. I'm sure there'll be another website

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for climbing into life, but for right now

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you can find beyond 60 dot where you can see where the

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movie can be seen. You

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can email Melissa at

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melissajdavy?

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Davey@verizon.net,

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she is on Facebook. You can find

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the Facebook page beyond 60 documentary

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and she is on Instagram, which is the at

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beyond 60 project. So lots of ways to connect with

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her and follow what she's doing and be inspired by her

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and add your inspiration to know all of us

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who are in these putting ourselves out there

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fields know, trying to be creative and helpful.

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Certainly do appreciate the feedback and the

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inspiration we get from people that are following. So, yes, we do.

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Thank you for that, Melissa. Thank you. And

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if you like some of what you are hearing,

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gail says thank you. Melissa. If you like some of

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what you're hearing on hey Boomer, I'd love to hear from you. You can

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email me at wendy at Heyboomer biz.

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Or you can leave a review on Apple podcast or

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Spotify podcast. One of the recent reviews I

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got said, quote, a great listen. Wendy's podcast

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is full of information to help navigate midlife and beyond.

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She's shining a light on Boomers and the issues that arise. So

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that felt good. That was nice to hear.

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And next week, we're going to focus on

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brain health. My guest will be Dr. Crystal

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Color. She's the founder of the Virtual Brain Health Center.

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She's a doctor of behavioral health and holistic

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brain health expert. She brings nearly two decades

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of expertise in working with individuals, families,

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providers and advocacy organizations

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specializing in brain related diagnoses.

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And she was referred to me by several friends of Hay Boomer.

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So I'm very curious to find out what Dr.

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Collar has to say about keeping our brains healthy for as

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long as possible. And you know that I always

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like to leave you with the belief that we can all live with

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relevance, live with courage, and live with

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curiosity. And as melissa and I both believe,

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you are never too old to set another goal or

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dream a new dream. Thank you so much, melissa.

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Thank you. I will talk to you,