This week I'm talking to Mikey about his path to sober living and his online support group Sober Society UK. He discusses how he has battled with male drinking culture, and reminds us that success comes in many forms, and we should always keep trying to be our best selves.

Hi, everybody.

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I'm Vic and I don't drink.

3

Today, I'll be talking to Mikey

about how his bravery to address

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the norms of mountain king culture.

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Led to a 5,000 strong

following on this community.

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Facebook group, saber society, UK.

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Mikey tells us how he became a better

parent friend and partner and disguise

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with real coverage that it's not always

a straight line to save a living yet.

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Despite some of his setbacks

he's been keeping on keeping on.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: So a really

warm welcome, Mikey, and thank you

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for coming onto my podcast today.

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You're the first person that I've

spoken to that I don't actually know.

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So it will be interesting

to see how we go tonight.

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And I'm really keen to get to

know you alongside anyone that

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chooses to listen to the podcast.

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So welcome.

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It's all about you.

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It's all about who you are and how you got

where you are and some of your top tips.

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So I'm going to hand over to you is if

you could tell us a little bit about

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you now and who you are and obviously

about your Facebook page, cause that's

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interesting for us to know about as well.

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And then maybe go back and tell us a bit

about the stories, how you got there.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah, no problem.

24

My name's Mikey Darlington.

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I live in Staffordshire.

26

I created a Facebook group.

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One day I think I just had enough

of my behavior through drinking.

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I was on the carousel of doom.

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It felt like.

30

And I found that I had nowhere to

really go to where people got me.

31

I attended an AA meeting and

it's a fabulous charity for many.

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Anything that helps people is brilliant.

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So I'm not knocking AA by any means

at all, but I just didn't feel

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connected with what was going on there.

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And it left me just thinking

that there's got to be more,

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there's got to be somewhere.

37

There's got to be something that I

can identify with and with people.

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So I started a Facebook group and.

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under the name Sober Society.

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And literally started with

one, one member, which was me.

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And over the last two years, which

is when I started it, it's natural

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growth, which is really good to see.

43

But reason I started it, like I said,

about the the carousel of doom, I

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just felt That my behavior under the

influence of alcohol wasn't correct.

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I was upsetting people.

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I wasn't being the best example of myself.

47

And I just knew that I had to improve.

48

And I knew that my health wasn't

benefiting from the amount that

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I was drinking and the frequency

I was drinking and binging.

50

I've never labelled myself as alcoholic

per se, but I know that there's

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definite issues that I've got based

around alcohol, and I've yeah, just

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had to change it that was a small

change that I made to to get started.

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Very scary at the time, because it's

putting yourself out there, and you're

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making yourself your own poster boy,

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

Very brave, actually.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

brave or stupid.

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no, I'm really

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: I'll go brave.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Really glad I did it.

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And like I said to many people if

I could just associate with or help

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or support one person, then It's

a hundred percent hit its target.

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And I think after that is just purely the

cream on the cake, I guess it's the bonus.

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So yeah, I'm really happy

to be the founder of that.

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it's the actual group

members that make the group.

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It's not myself.

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I just facilitate the group being

made and it's the people in the

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group that support each other.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

You'll always find support.

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You'll always find help.

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There's always someone that's

been where you've been.

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And it's it's just an

easy place to offload.

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And it's also an easy place to.

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Support and give advice to others.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I've been on the Facebook

group and it is, it's great.

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You can see that people are really

connecting in there and there's people

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who are just beginning and they're

coming on just for that bit of support.

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And then you see the people who

may have had a bit more experience

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giving a bit of advice around it.

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It's just a very supportive place.

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You find Generally in sober circles,

people are like that, aren't they?

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Once you've got to a stage where

you feel confident that you are

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able to, most people in some way

or another like to give back.

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So you said that you

were basically acting up.

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Do you mind me asking how old you are?

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Because to me, you look

like a very young man.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I'm 40, I was 45 last week.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Okay.

91

So 45.

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And I think that we were just talking

about the Sabritas, which is a, an

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online platform that I'm a member of.

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And then I realized that there's

not that many men on that.

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There are some, but not that many.

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was the reason that you set up

your Facebook group because there

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wasn't much out there for you as

a young man trying to do this?

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Sounds silly enough really, but it's a

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whole men not talking and men not sharing

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

and yeah.

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mental states with each other.

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And mental health and

alcohol go hand really.

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It's first thing

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

can hide behind is the last thing that

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you saw advertised on telly, which nine

times out of 10 is something boozy.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

yeah, I think being a guy it

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rewarding that I was talking

to other like minded guys.

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The group's probably,

I'd say with about 65.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah,

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

think that again is women are more

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comfortable in coming forward and

saying, I think I've got an issue

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and I think I need to I need to

have a look at what I'm doing here.

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Where guys, they were terrible at it.

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we don't book doctor's

appointments for anything.

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We don't,

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: no.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: we

don't talk to each other about anything

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apart from football and girls probably.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

yeah, so it's it's nice.

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I think if we can encourage more

guys to come out and come forward

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and equally, I think if the women can

encourage their partners, if they're

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married to a guy or whatever, to

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

it's definitely worthwhile.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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You're right.

131

I think men do struggle a little bit with

coming forward and also there is part

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of the kind of macho drinking culture.

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So to step away from that is

quite a big decision, isn't it?

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And quite a brave thing to do.

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Did it impact your friendships

or how did that go?

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: no,

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: I've

still got the same core group of friends,

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I think my friends, out of

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courtesy, didn't always invite me to

something, that I'm not going to be.

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It's a person that's heading up a stag

day or something like that, but it's yeah,

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: different

if they asked you to arrange that.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Cake decorating or something now.

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But yeah, it's just nice

that they're supportive.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

doing and, my little

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journey as it's changed.

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But you're right

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

macho culture.

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I used to play rugby and

football and everything is just.

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Or as a guy, everything is revolved

around if we're planning an event, it's

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the first thing we talk about, or think

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Or, it's wrong really, because you,

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instead of focusing on the actual

event per se, focusing more on

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Sideline,

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: I, yeah.

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And it's interesting that you've said

that, cause you're the third person that

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I've spoken to so far in the podcast.

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And actually.

163

Two other people, that's all, that's

a full house, have said the focus,

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that thing about the focus being on

the alcohol rather than the events

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was part of their decision making

because it just became such a chatter

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whenever you were planning anything,

you had to know where the bar was.

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So I, for example, didn't really

enjoy going to the theatre because

168

when you go to the theatre, it's

really difficult to go and get a drink.

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And I used to think, I can't

really be bothered, to, I just

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can't be bothered with that.

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I'd rather be somewhere where

I can just have a glass of wine

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and chat to my friends, whatever.

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So I think you end up sometimes

missing out on things because you're

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planning it around the alcohol element.

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And then when you're there,

you're not enjoying it because

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you've numbed it all out.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

You're looking at it through

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dirty glasses really, aren't you?

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

found myself before I've gone to like

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comedy clubs and things like that.

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And I wake up the next day and I

can't remember any of the jokes.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

what was the point in going?

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: It is

quite pointless when you think

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about it like that, isn't it?

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have you then been sober

for around two years?

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

of my journey has been discovering

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where I am with alcohol.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah,

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I've, the longest I've gone

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without a drink is I think

it was 140 something days.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: That's great.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

brilliant at the end of it and I

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tricked myself into giving myself,

I think it was my birthday weekend.

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And I thought, you know what that's

your target point and go for that.

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And I made it there.

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I've got to, I've got to that point and

I had a drink and then I found myself

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two days later, having another, and then

building up over time again, and I found

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

coming back out and that's when I

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realized, it's a bit more serious

than you once thought it was.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I've with one thing I've got to say is

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I'm without being negative about this.

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I have had patches where I've gone off

the beer again for another two months

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and then double back in and doubled

out I had a bit of a low moment a

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couple of weeks ago and my anxiety came

out and straight away with anxiety.

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My old friend.

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Alcohol gives me

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

comfort that I so need

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

day my anxieties doubled and then I get

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into the pattern of giving myself more

alcohol, more anxiety the next day, more

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

217

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

the next day.

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And it's that theme of it's the

meaning of insanity, isn't it?

219

Sort of going back to the same thing,

getting the same results, but expecting

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

221

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

every time.

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vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: But

you're so not alone with that.

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And it's not negative to talk about

that, because that's the reality of

224

this, it's not the easiest thing to do.

225

And people have to remember that we live

in a society where everybody is drinking.

226

And if you've come from a place where

you've relied on that to support

227

you Rightly or wrongly, you felt

that it supports you at the time.

228

And I've been there as well.

229

It's because the first drink does, right?

230

The first one makes you go, and

then everything that you have after

231

that is just chasing something.

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You're chasing that initial one.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah,

234

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

Doesn't really do that anymore.

235

And then the anxiety is horrible.

236

Have you read William Porter?

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Alcohol Explained.

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squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: No,

somebody else has said that to me though.

239

I need to I need to have

a look at that thing.

240

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: If you

read that might be something that

241

helps you think through that process

of the, I'm feeling a bit bad.

242

I'm going to have something because,

in the reality that is, you're going

243

to feel worse anyway, but it did help

me , cause it's the science of it.

244

It's not your fault.

245

It's science is literally

what goes on in the brain.

246

but understanding it is quite

helpful if you want to be able

247

to stop doing that, I think.

248

But yeah there are people who fall off

and come back on, but everybody who says

249

I think I'm going to be all right now.

250

I think I'm going to be able to drink like

maybe you did for your birthday that time.

251

It's always the same story.

252

It goes that one day, we'll just have one.

253

And then before they know it,

they're back in the old patterns,

254

exactly like you just described.

255

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

exactly that.

256

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

It's predictable, isn't it?

257

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I think, and it sounds a bit

258

weird and harsh and it's not, this

is not advice to anyone at all.

259

But what I've had to find myself

is that I've had to, and I don't

260

know if I'm done doing it yet.

261

But I think you've got to fall

so many times to realize that.

262

You've got to stay up.

263

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

264

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

It's a very weird one.

265

I think at the moment I'm

keeping a diary of how I

266

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

It's a great idea.

267

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Symptoms that might

268

lead me towards alcohol,

269

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

270

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

at the moment while I'm keeping this

271

diary, it just, it's a constant reminder

of why I shouldn't be doing it as well.

272

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

273

You were saying about you have

to fall to get back up again.

274

I went not that long ago, I

went into London to listen to

275

Stephen Bartlett do a talk.

276

The diary of a CEO Stephen

Bartlett, and he was talking about

277

how he has a head of failure.

278

In his companies, because it's

so important because if you

279

don't fail, you don't learn.

280

If you don't learn, you don't improve.

281

So there's no momentum.

282

So actually, I'm not suggesting that

everybody should just be falling off

283

the wagon all the time and, definitely

not suggesting that to anyone listening.

284

but it is really positive to, come

out of that and go, do you know

285

what, that didn't work for me.

286

And you've clearly realized.

287

That the anxiety that you tried to

relieve was made worse the next day.

288

You know that.

289

You don't necessarily know that

unless you've either read it or

290

you've experienced it like you have.

291

If he can have a head of failure,

I think it's all right for us to

292

try and learn from our mistakes

as well out here in the world.

293

The real world.

294

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I think so.

295

And to anyone that's listening, if

you are on the straight and narrow,

296

shall we call it, and you fall

off the wagon at any point, don't

297

beat yourself up too bad about it.

298

Focus on the days that you've got under

your belt and carry on from there.

299

Don't count it as starting from day

one again, just carry on from there.

300

Count how many good days

you've had and just answer the

301

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah, absolutely.

302

And there are so many people

who don't even try this.

303

They don't even give it a go.

304

People who are attempting it and have

however many 148 days plus all the other

305

days that you've had, that's great.

306

A lady I spoke to the other

day was telling me that she had

307

done the hundred day challenge.

308

Seven times.

309

She said, I completed it seven times

and I fell off after day 107 times.

310

And it's yeah, but that is 700 days.

311

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah.

312

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: 700 days.

313

That's amazing.

314

That's two years

315

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah, it's like giving up the

316

100 days for the sake of giving

up 99 for one day, isn't it?

317

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah, exactly.

318

People often ask that

question, don't they?

319

I feel like the counting thing is

a thing, isn't it, with sobriety?

320

Like how many days are you?

321

It's a real,

322

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

think you can become obsessed by it.

323

I know I did for a while.

324

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: yeah,

325

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

drink tracker app that kind of counted

326

my, and it was useful for some things.

327

It counted my calories that I'd

not used and The amount of money

328

that I'd saved and to say it was

thousands is an understatement.

329

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: The

money was amazing, wasn't it?

330

I bought myself a ring.

331

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I think I'm, at the moment, I think I'm

332

at about eight grand over two years.

333

So

334

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

It's mad, isn't it?

335

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: I've

been, the blips that I've had in between

336

are definitely not failures because

337

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Oh God, no.

338

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: the

money and the calories I haven't consumed

339

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

340

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Go to something.

341

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Just that

you've done it goes to something.

342

It's amazing.

343

There's, there, as I say there's

loads of people in this world

344

who should not be drinking.

345

They just shouldn't because of

whatever reason, family, the way they

346

behave, damage, all the different

things, but they carry on doing it.

347

Like you and I are trying.

348

if I fell off the wagon, Tomorrow I'd

get back on it because I know this is the

349

right thing and it's the best thing for me

to do for myself and my family, my sanity.

350

And you seem to know that too.

351

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah,

352

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: No.

353

And you've set up this group.

354

God, that's phenomenal.

355

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

that is, it is nice.

356

Sometimes I'm a bit overwhelmed

when I look in the group now and

357

I see it self populating itself.

358

It's the people in the group

that are running the group.

359

I'm not the group,

360

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

361

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

It's out there

362

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

363

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

and anyone that needs it.

364

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

365

But you need to take the credit for

it because if you hadn't done it, all

366

those people that whole 5, 000 people

would not have had that person to talk

367

to when they posted on that group.

368

I think you should take a lot more

credit for it than you just did.

369

Seriously.

370

It's really good.

371

So what was your biggest challenge?

372

Do you think in trying to stop drinking?

373

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: The

biggest challenge is it's combined really.

374

It's I live.

375

I live in a tiny little village

and there's two shops and two pubs.

376

And

377

You're either in the shop, in the pub, or

in the house bored it's trying to make,

378

trying to fill the gaps of time that

could otherwise be dangerous, I'd say.

379

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

380

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Taking up new hobbies and I'll tell you

381

one thing I did find is when you stop

drinking, you suddenly find that you a

382

much better parent, and you're a much

better brother, you're a much better

383

partner, a much better sister, auntie,

384

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

385

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

that it brings the best out in everybody.

386

It is an absolute instant upgrade.

387

It might not feel like it for

the first few weeks of, refining

388

yourself, but, Stick at it because

it's an absolute instant upgrade.

389

And like I say I'm stupid for

the times that I've I know you're

390

going to say, you're not stupid.

391

It's just how things are.

392

But I was

393

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

You're not stupid.

394

It's just how things are.

395

Exactly what I'm going to say.

396

Correct.

397

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

stupid for going back and thinking

398

that be a different outcome or it's

honestly, it's the best thing I've

399

found in the last two years that

I could have ever done for myself.

400

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

401

And the parenting thing, you're right.

402

my daughter said to me,

Oh, I'm really lucky.

403

Because you don't drink cause

I'm just always going to be safe.

404

That's what she said to me.

405

I was like, wow.

406

And it's because she knows.

407

She's just coming up 12 and she knows,

if she ever goes to a party or she's

408

at a sleepover, if there's something

wrong and she needs me, I can always

409

get in the car and go and get her.

410

What a joy that is.

411

Just amazing.

412

It does make you more patient.

413

You can pause a little bit.

414

I think you have more

resilience as a non drinker.

415

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yes, you do.

416

And thing as well, you feel more, you

417

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: you do.

418

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

you're not numb.

419

And that's something you should

be prepared for actually, if

420

you are stopping drinking is

there's nothing wrong with you.

421

Just be prepared to feel more feelings

and feel that if say you've been

422

drinking like I was for the last 20

odd years, you've been hiding under

423

a cloak of, This liquid that kind of

doesn't let you 100 percent be yourself.

424

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

425

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

as you stop that, you feel more.

426

I've turned on emotional lately.

427

I was watching Coco on telly

the other day and I was crying.

428

It's but yeah, you do feel more.

429

And it's in a good way.

430

It's in a good way, but just be prepared

to, to deal with your former issues,

431

but without the way that you used to

do it with alcohol, because that's

432

slightly different as well, but it's

433

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

434

You feel more of the good stuff,

but you also have to experience the

435

bad stuff because before you would

have numbed that away, wouldn't you?

436

I actually lost my dad in my first

year of sobriety and it was horrible.

437

And I think previously I would have

had a drink, but it was interesting

438

because I felt like because I didn't,

I was able to process everything

439

quicker maybe than I would have done

because I had to just sit with it.

440

There was nowhere for it to go.

441

I just had to feel all of that.

442

And I did, and it wasn't nice but

life isn't always perfect, is it?

443

So I think.

444

It was important for me to feel

those things and come out the

445

other side, but the good stuff,

let's talk about the good stuff.

446

So joys, what have been

your unexpected joys?

447

There's actually a book called the

unexpected joy of being sober and

448

I cannot remember the author, but

there's loads of stuff in that,

449

but I've come across loads of joys.

450

What are yours?

451

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Physical ability, I found again,

452

as when I stopped drinking for

them 145 days and I had a straight.

453

I put myself into athletics

which at the age of 44 was not

454

really advisable, I don't think.

455

But I went back into sprinting

and high jump and long jump.

456

And yeah, last year when I was 44, I

managed to match my previous high jump,

457

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Amazing.

458

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

best.

459

And I thought, I wouldn't expect that.

460

And that's not something I

would have done if I was still

461

going to the pub all the time.

462

it would have just been a quick novelty.

463

It would have worn off and,

464

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

465

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

back in a beer garden in summer

466

rather than training, but it's

467

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Let's see

a bit is the time that you spent

468

drinking and also the hangover

time, That you can then put into

469

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

hangover takes me a week to get over now.

470

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: I bet.

471

Oh god, I don't miss having

a hangover, I have to say.

472

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Not at all.

473

It's

474

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Hideous, really.

475

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

For hangovers, isn't it?

476

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: It really is.

477

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

money as

478

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: I

used to plan mine as well.

479

I used to plan it.

480

I'd be like, Oh, I can't go

out on Saturday cause I'm

481

going to have a hangover.

482

I'm sure that's not normal.

483

Anyway, moving swiftly on.

484

So we're going to be coming to the

ends shortly of our conversation.

485

Which is sad.

486

I've really enjoyed talking to you.

487

It's been great finding out about you, but

I do want to know what you would say to

488

your younger self if you could go back.

489

Probably then if you could go back

to your twenties, is there any

490

advice you would give yourself?

491

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah loads of advice.

492

Off with letting myself know

how vulnerable I can be.

493

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

494

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

and how reckless I can

495

also be because of alcohol.

496

Things I'm not proud of.

497

I've upset people, I've crashed cars and

498

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Wow.

499

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

take back.

500

And that actually haunts me.

501

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

502

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

it back in a heartbeat, I would,

503

but there's no going back.

504

So I'm bummed off that, the mistakes that

you make today aren't just for today.

505

For tomorrow.

506

So take heed in what you do and enjoy

yourself still, but maybe moderate a lot,

507

but be more conscious of moderating and

don't be influenced to, drink all the

508

beer in all the world in, in one night.

509

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah,

510

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

a proper lads thing that lads do.

511

And it's, yeah, it's not clever.

512

It's not big.

513

It's not clever.

514

It's not going to get you anywhere.

515

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: no.

516

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah, less is definitely more

517

and slowly is the fastest way to

get to anywhere you want to be.

518

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

519

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

right, don't do things quick and now.

520

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

521

And I think it's good advice.

522

It's so easy though, isn't it?

523

When you're young, it's so

easy to just be carried away.

524

And also you don't see the harm in it.

525

You feel a bit invincible.

526

You don't, you just don't see

that these things could end

527

up haunting you in the end.

528

I'm sorry That you feel haunted

by those things, but you've made

529

some amazing decisions since you

can only really look forward.

530

I try and have no regrets.

531

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah.

532

Yeah.

533

It's one of them.

534

You've got to be able to not dwell on it.

535

It's, like you said earlier, sit

with your problems, acknowledge them,

536

feel them but be kind to yourself

and also don't grip onto them.

537

Let them go.

538

If they

539

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

540

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

you again, then do, eat, sleep, repeat,

541

do the same all over again and again.

542

Yeah, exactly.

543

Yeah, exactly.

544

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

family are proud of you.

545

I bet everybody's proud

of what you're doing now.

546

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah, immensely.

547

And like I say I'm a much better

person now than I was two years ago.

548

Feel like a much better person now,

and I feel like I've got more to give.

549

So I'm excited for what the future

holds for myself and sober society.

550

I think the group's

really got legs and we're

551

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

552

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

now that we can expand the group and

553

utilize the audience that we've got.

554

And we're currently talking about.

555

Getting counseling services board because

we're set up as a community interest

556

company, I say, so it's not for profit.

557

It's what we're hoping to do is get

some fundraising, see if there's

558

any potential grants out there.

559

And be able to give the people that

can't ordinarily afford counseling,

560

because it's not cheap give

561

To discuss their feelings and emotions

562

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: If anyone's

listening that can help with that, then

563

they just need to contact you, don't they?

564

So it's a Sober Society on Facebook.

565

Sober Society UK, is it?

566

On Facebook.

567

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

go on to sobersociety.

568

co.

569

uk and all the info's on

there and it'll you anywhere.

570

And alternatively, if anybody

wants to collaborate with

571

them, I'm more than happy.

572

So it's open the doors.

573

if we can help one more person,

then it's an absolute success.

574

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

575

I quite agree with that.

576

It's it's all about that.

577

It's getting it out there and making

people feel like they're not on their own.

578

hopefully your and our conversation

today is showing people that the

579

journeys can be very different, but

we all have the same goal, don't we?

580

And hopefully we can

help someone out there.

581

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Yeah.

582

And if I can say one thing, actually,

if, I know that there's some people

583

that has maybe not skeptical about

their drinking habits, but just to

584

set a challenge out to anyone just

see if you can go 30 days without And

585

if you can great, I'm jealous of you.

586

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

587

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

a chat with people in the group

588

because there's people just

like you this and we don't just

589

advocate you've got to be T total.

590

When you've got to be.

591

super sober.

592

we advocate that you can,

try mindful drinking.

593

Give it a go, but I challenge anyone

to go 30 days and see how you go.

594

And there for you, whether you

need it today, tomorrow, or 10

595

years down the line, not at all.

596

Still pop in and have a chat and

see what life's about in the group.

597

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Great challenge.

598

Cause I actually think there's lots

of people out there probably think

599

they're fine, but then you try

and stop them drinking for 30 days

600

and they might realize that maybe

it's not as easy as they thought.

601

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

It's honestly not

602

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah,

603

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

find myself doing it at the very start.

604

I thought, yeah, I'll go 30 days.

605

And then within two

days, something pops up.

606

It's oh, but it's so and

so's birthday or it's

607

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: yeah.

608

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

with, we've got this booked and

609

then you're thinking I can't do that

now I'll start next month instead,

610

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Yeah.

611

it's not an easy thing to do.

612

If it was easy, everybody would do it.

613

They should give it a go and you're right.

614

Visit your site.

615

Have a chat with some

of the people on there.

616

yeah.

617

And so breezes is another one that I

always advocate people could join and have

618

a look at some of the blogs and some of

the wonderful people that are just trying.

619

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I'll come over

620

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

but well done you.

621

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

I'll come over and have a look

622

and well done to you as well.

623

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Thank you.

624

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Talking to you as well.

625

I urge anyone else out there that's

got a story to step forward and come

626

and have a natter so I can listen.

627

, vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: I'd be more

than happy to hear from them if they

628

want to send me a message and let me know

whether they want to come on and tell

629

their story or all in the aid of other

people having someone to connect with.

630

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Definitely will do.

631

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814:

Thank you so much.

632

It's been amazing talking to you.

633

I think it's brilliant.

634

I think you're doing brilliant

and just keep on keeping on.

635

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Thank you very much.

636

And we'll have a revisit at some point and

637

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: We will.

638

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816: go

639

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: We'll come

back together, see how we're going.

640

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Great to talk.

641

vic_1_10-01-2024_191814: Thank you.

642

Okay, bye bye.

643

squadcaster-9711_1_10-01-2024_191816:

Bye bye.

644

squadcaster-bg06_9_09-21-2024_084137:

Thank you for listening to our

645

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

646

If you felt that it helped you, make

sure that you like, share and follow.

647

And leave a review on podchaser.

648

com.

649

And remember, make your

catchphrase, I don't drink