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When a relationship has lost some of its spark, most couples assume the fix has to be something big, a major holiday, or somehow finding their way back to who they used to be. It's usually simpler than that. The spark doesn't come from who you are to each other, it comes from what you experience together. Genuinely new experiences wake something up: they require both of you to be present, and they give you a version of each other that routine just doesn't.

Alastair shares the story of a couple who'd settled into a comfortable but flat routine, same restaurants, same shows, until they realised it had been two years since they'd tried anything new together. A simple monthly challenge, one genuinely new experience each month, brought back the kind of laughter they hadn't had in years. Today's tip: make a list of things you'd both genuinely like to try, and commit to doing one from it every month.

Daily Relationship Tips helps couples strengthen relationship communication, rebuild emotional intimacy, restore relationship trust, develop healthy relationship habits, and reconnect before emotional distance becomes permanent.

Hosted by Alastair Duhs, relationship coach and creator of Reconnected.

Most couples who feel like their relationship has lost some of its spark think the solution requires something big.

You know, a significant holiday, a major change, or somehow finding a way back to who they were in the beginning.

Luckily, it's usually simpler than that and closer.

And you don't need to wait for the right occasion to do it.

Hi, I'm Alastair Dues, and this is the daily Relationship Tips Podcast.

Every episode, I share simple, practical tools to help you and your partner feel close, connected, and genuinely in love again, one small habit at a time.

So here's what most people don't realize.

The spark in a relationship.

It doesn't come from who you are to each other.

It often comes from what you experience together.

And using novelty, or seeking genuinely new experiences shared for the first time.

That's one of the most reliable ways to rekindle that spark.

Not because new experiences are inherently better, but because they wake something up.

They require both of you to be present, they create new memories, and they give you a version of each other that routine just doesn't.

For example, let me tell you about Kev and Mel.

They'd settled into this very comfortable rhythm.

Comfortable but flat.

Same restaurants, same Netflix, same weekend routines.

Neither of them was unhappy, exactly.

But when I asked them when they'd last done something neither of them had done before, they had to think really hard.

Two years ago, Kev said, eventually we went to that cooking class.

And what was that like?

I asked.

It was brilliant, Mel said.

Immediately, we laughed the whole way through.

Kev was terrible at the pastor, so why haven't you done anything like that since?

They looked at each other, but neither of them had an answer.

So I asked them to do something new together once a month.

Nothing elaborate, just genuinely new to both of them.

The first month they tried a pottery class.

The second month they drove somewhere they'd never been and spent the day exploring with with no plan.

The third month, they signed up for a dance class that neither of them was remotely qualified for.

Mel told me, we keep saying we haven't laughed like this in years, and we mean it every single time.

The novelty wasn't really the point.

The shared discovery was being beginners together, slightly out of their depth, relying on each other, making memories that had no comparison.

It gave them back something that routine had quietly taken away.

So here's today's Make a list of things you'd like to try with your partner.

Not things you've done before, but genuinely new ones.

A class in something neither of you knows.

A place neither of you has visited a type of food you've never cooked together, or a film genre you'd both normally skip.

Keep the list somewhere accessible and commit to doing one thing from it every month.

Because here's what this means Long term couples who keep trying new things together keep generating new reasons to be interested in each other.

Every new experience adds a memory and a dimension to the relationship and the willingness to be adventurous, to be beginners, to be slightly uncertain, to discover something side by side.

It keeps the relationship feeling alive in a way that routine simply can't sustain.

So be adventurous and try something new and do it together.

Now here's a question worth answering before you how connected is your relationship right now?

Most people just guess, but you don't have to.

There's a free two minute quiz at dailyrelationshiptips.com that'll tell you exactly where your relationship stands and where the easy wins are hiding.

Take it today and find out if you how to create a happier, more loving and connected relationship.

And while you're there, you'll find a stack of relationship resources to help you put these habits into practice.

Everything you need is waiting there for you.

Thanks for listening and I'll see you in the next episode.