Welcome back to The Conscious Home Podcast! This episode is all about protecting your spark: the energy that fuels your life, your work, and your joy. Blanche dives deep into the everyday ways we unknowingly give away our power, from subtle digs in conversation to clients who push past agreed boundaries.

If you’ve been feeling drained, resentful, or off without knowing why, this conversation will help you recognize energy pulls, set clear boundaries, and honor your own vibration so you can live and lead from a place of strength.

(00:01:00) Energy Is Everything: Blanche explains how energy shows up in every aspect of life, from money and music to conversations and spaces. 

(00:03:00) High vs. Low Vibration: Learn to identify activities, people, and habits that lift you up versus those that subtly drain you. 

(00:06:00) Early Boundaries & Teaching the Next Generation: Blanche shares how she’s teaching her daughter to speak up for herself and honor her boundaries.

(00:08:00) Boundaries in Business: A personal story about standing firm with a client, reclaiming energy, and trusting that honoring yourself opens the door to greater opportunities.

(00:14:00) Feeling Into Your Body’s Yes & No: An exercise to help you tune into your body’s signals so you can make choices that protect your energy.

(00:17:00) Trusting the Signs: How the universe communicates through alignment (or misalignment), and why roadblocks might be redirecting you.

Ready to protect your energy and reclaim your spark?

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So this is one that is near and dear to my heart because

I feel like it challenges me.

It calls on me, it pulls on me, not just me, every other person that I know.

It's such just an everyday energy that you're constantly checking in with

yourself, and most of us usually fail.

So what am I talking about?

I'm talking about when you give too much energy.

Or you take on so much energy of somebody else because of

whatever, fill in the blank.

You are just giving too much.

You're getting walked all over, or you don't realize and you're giving

too much or you're taking too much.

There's a lot in both directions.

So I feel like, I don't know anyone of my friends who doesn't talk about this.

It's kind of in different conversations, hidden behind different words or phrases.

But this is basically what it is.

Welcome home, everybody, and that is to The Conscious Home Podcast.

I am your host, blanche Garcia.

Let's talk about energy.

Energy is basically everything.

Energy is the money that we see.

It's the walls that we see.

It's the vibration that we feel.

It's food, it's words, it's music, it's everything.

And you never heard it talked about as much back in the day, but it

is literally everything, right?

And we're realizing this like you don't have to be a tree hugger,

woowoo, or listen to the Conscious Home Podcast to understand that energy

is everywhere and it is everything.

And so there's a dynamic with it, especially in relationships.

There is so much depth.

To how we exchange energy.

It is not just, oh, you feel great, or I walked into the

room and the energy changed.

There's a lot more layers to it.

Let me dive a little deeper into this.

You have an energy field around you, and if you are aware enough.

Or if you follow the Conscious Home Podcast, you will understand that there

is a hygiene that has to happen for your energy to actually be in alignment.

There are things that you have to stay away from, 'cause everything has energy.

So there's low vibrational things and there's high vibrational things.

Not that we can't live a human life, like we're here to have a human.

Be authentic selves.

That is the truth.

Okay?

And so if you think that you're supposed to be in a mountain, not

around anybody, and not partaking of what makes us human, you are in denial.

That is not what spirituality is, and that's not what living is about.

It is about being in human form and going through all the things it is about

being a kid and having your first beer.

It is about, it's about all the things, the wrong decisions, the

right decisions, and how you react to it and your choices in this life.

That's what it is about.

So when we have our own energy and our own sovereignty over our energy,

there are ways that we can take things in to make it feel good and

bring it of its highest vibration.

It's like when you exercise, you go on a run, you're with people that

you love watching a funny movie.

All these things are high vibrational things that you bring into your life.

When you're in the low vibration, you feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You literally get nauseous sometimes or you're like, I don't feel good.

A lot of things that are lower in vibrational frequency

could be horror movies.

Why?

Because horror movies bring down your fear base and it anchors

into fight or flight in a way.

Some people like that because it's just kind of ingrained in them

through just life and family, and there's a lot of, there's a lot of

reasons for it, but horror movies.

Alcohol, drugs, negativity, screaming, arguments, crime, murder, these

are all low vibrational things.

You can actually see those a mile away.

You could say, oh yeah, that's probably not gonna make me super happy and joyful.

Right?

You could see those.

The sneaky ones are the ones in the every day.

Those are the ones that are like.

A friend or a client or a coworker, it could be as simple as you go to

your hairdresser, she does your hair, she's really good at it, but every time

you go to her, she's constantly like, you know, I'm a designer, so maybe my

hairdresser and she doesn't do this.

I love my hairdresser, by the way.

I'm going this week.

And she's amazing.

But you go to your hairdresser and if I'm a designer, she may

say, oh my God, can I show you?

Space every time I go, can you give me ideas on what to do at my house?

And you know, my boyfriend, and then she like trauma dumps, or she's asking

me for like, things, even though she's doing my hair and I'm paying her for that

service, she sees this as an opportunity.

Whether she realizes or not, she's pulling energy from me.

She's like, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, right.

Oh, you don't mind if you just take a minute.

Right?

And meanwhile you're trying to be nice, but.

By being nice.

It's that split decision that you did not put your boundary out.

You didn't say, it's not like you have to be like, listen bitch,

I need you to stop talking.

Even though that's what you're feeling.

What you really need to say is, I would love to help you, and this

looks like a space that I feel like there's so much that can be done there.

Let me give you my card, and if you're looking to kind of move forward,

we can create a consultation or we can blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

There are ways to answer that.

The simplistic way that this happens in the every day is I'm talking to

a girlfriend and they're telling me about their life, but when

they're telling me about their life, it's always like about them.

They never ask about me.

They never are like, so what's going on in your life?

Every time they're talking about their life, there is an energy.

Pull.

They're like, oh, you know, and then this happened, and of course it was

gonna happen and that never happens for, you know, blah, blah blah.

And then there's a subtle, oh, but that wouldn't happen for you.

'cause like, I feel like there's so much going on in your life.

It's like, see that really simple?

My life isn't good enough.

I'm actually jealous of your life.

But I'm not gonna tell you I'm jealous of your life, so I'm just

gonna throw it in a little dig.

So what they did was they pulled your energy, they boomeranged it,

right, wrapped it around a tree, and then slingshot it at you.

Wrapped up in woe is me.

So now you're just like gaslit and you're like, what's going on?

That conversation is gonna stay with you because there's an energetic

tie now that it has created.

It's a connection they have formed with you and they're pulling energy from you.

This happens in the every day.

This happens all the time without us realizing it.

And it's the little decisions that you don't realize are your boundaries.

As a culture.

It's mostly women.

Men do it too, but I think mostly women where we give so much of

ourselves and don't realize that we are trying to be nice and people

will call it people pleasing or, oh, she's just trying to be nice.

You're not honoring a boundary that you have, and it starts really young.

It's really interesting because my daughter, she's

five and she's learning life.

This is her first time in this body, in this life.

I get to help her out with the tools to understand how

it works here on planet Earth.

She may say to me something simple like, you know, Johnny

at school was pulling my hair.

What would happen mostly like our parents or the parents before us, they may say

it's okay, like just means he likes you.

And then she starts learning that something that hurts or something

that makes her feel bad is okay because the intention of the other

person is that they really think you're pretty or they like you.

So you should just swallow it and be okay with it and let it slide.

And when we have sovereignty and when we honor our boundaries.

What I try to tell her is, listen, Johnny May not have the tools yet to

understand why he's doing what he's doing for whatever reason, and I'm sure

Johnny is not intending to hurt you because Johnny is also five, but it

doesn't mean that you have to accept it.

He's not allowed to touch you that way, in any way that you don't like.

So next time Johnny does that, you can say to Johnny, Hey Johnny, I don't like that.

That doesn't feel good to me.

I like, do not put your hands on me.

If that keeps happening.

You go to an adult and you go, Hey, Johnny keeps putting his hands on me and this

and that, and like, I guess like any other like spiritual elevated person would be

like, and then you're just gonna like.

Talk your way through it and this and that.

But if you ask Blanche, I don't think that that's fully spiritual.

'cause that's still letting someone walk all over you who's not understanding your

boundaries, even though it's a 5-year-old.

So basically what happens is I go, Hey, tell Johnny's to stop.

Give Johnny three shots of warning.

Then tell an adult.

Then if Johnny doesn't listen, then there's a ripple effect I'd like to

call, and it's probably not the most like spiritually evolved, but I do believe

that it is effective that Johnny has created the situation in which there

is a reaction that he has originally caused to boomerang back to him.

So the, he learned his lessons in life and who are we to stop Johnny's lessons?

We're not.

I tell ever that she's allowed to give the SmackDown.

I mean, maybe not punch him in the face, but she can figure out something.

Right?

And these are the lessons we learn in life, not to cry.

So getting back to where we were before, that's just like the mom in me.

I'm here evolving.

I'm not Gandhi.

I'm just doing the best I can, raising a little warrior.

Getting back to the story there.

Another ways this may show up for us is that, you know, you have a client.

And the client keeps asking for more.

Even though you've set boundaries, they want more of you.

They want information, more support, more this, more that.

And I think if you don't put up boundaries and if just say yes, to keep the peace,

you have to be able to say to them, listen, we've already agreed to this.

Maybe I'll give you a little bit because that's just me trying to be a good

business person, but if you want more of X, you have to pay Y. When we set

boundaries, it is not being negative.

It is not being mean.

What it is, honoring who you are, whenever you honor the boundaries of

who you are, you're basically saying, in order for us to be in a relationship,

I have to feel good about it, and you have to feel good about it at any point.

That one of us doesn't feel good about it.

We get to tell each other how we feel.

That's being an adult, by the way.

That's being an evolved human, and a lot of people forget to do that.

They think that is shameful, or I shouldn't speak up because

it's gonna ruffle feathers.

That is usually toxic, and that's usually been ingrained in us, whether it's

through family, through lineage, whatever.

It's just something that we think, but it's not real.

The minute that you put a boundary up and you tell somebody.

This is what I will not accept.

Do you know what happens?

The universe is like, yes, we were waiting for you to do this.

And when you honor yourself and that boundary, more abundance

opens, more beautiful things happen.

And I'm not saying that other person is gonna receive that exactly.

The way you think they are.

They may not be there yet.

They may not have evolved that far yet.

They may take it like, oh my God, how dare you.

That's on them.

That has nothing to do with you.

How people react to your boundaries, how people receive

the information of you honoring yourself has nothing to do with you.

Okay?

I'll give you an example of this.

I had a client.

The client had asked us to do a certain type of work.

We did the work.

In fact, not only did we do the work, we went above and beyond and I feel like we

gave more than probably we should have.

But I was like, okay.

I feel like I honor this association.

And in the end when I was asked to finalize.

The proposal, the contract, the monies or whatnot.

What do most people do?

A lot of people, unfortunately, and we don't have this a lot, a lot of my clients

pay really well and they pay on time.

They kind of didn't pay us on time.

They took a really long time to pay us, and that happens.

But what happens usually in these circumstances is that as a business

owner, you just kind of let it go and you let it go and you're like, listen,

I'm not gonna say anything because.

You know, what am I gonna say?

And then when they do pay, you're just happy that they

pay and you just keep going.

If they give you more work, you're just like, Hey, they're giving me more work.

So I'm just happy for that.

So what happens in that interaction if I let it go like that, the same situation

would keep arising and they wouldn't understand where my boundaries were.

Well, when we ended up having a conversation, I explained my boundaries

and I said that I was displeased with how the end of the project went, that

that's not really how I do business.

And I explained my feelings.

I wasn't rude or derogatory, but I explained my feelings.

They didn't take it well.

They weren't happy about that.

And we had finished the project and they ended up moving on.

It didn't end in a warm and fuzzy feeling, but what did

happen was I took back my energy.

I put up a boundary and I said, listen, this is what I will not accept.

And when I did that, I took my power back and it opened up my own.

Energy to receive something more.

And it also put the period at the end of the sentence, it

said, okay, we're done with this.

We're not doing this.

And I retained my own sovereignty.

Now were they happy about it?

I'm sure they walked away thinking like, wow, blanche is a big bitch.

Who knows if they were bad mouthing me, and they were like, ba, ba, ba,

ba. But I know what I did was truthful.

It was authentic, it was right.

I handled myself with professionalism and I created my own boundary.

And I let them know where I stood.

It's gonna go either way.

And you have to be okay with that.

And so it's in these little interactions we have in relationships,

personal or the professional relationships that you get to decide.

We think life happens with the big decisions.

We think there's gonna be like this major decision.

It's like you're in a telenovela.

You know what I mean?

We're like, they come in and they're like, blanch.

I don't think I can pay you anymore, but I want more information.

You think that's gonna happen, but it, it's not like that.

It's literally a text message, a phone call, like, Hey girl, do you think if

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it's in that moment, I just want you to pause.

This is your takeaway in that moment.

I want you to pause.

I want you to take three deep.

Breaths.

And if you feel like you're being rushed into a decision, I want you to

take a moment and say, you know what?

Let me get back to you.

Very simple.

Let me get back to you.

Gives you enough space to kind of get yourself together and collect

yourself, think about it, and really react in a way that you feel like

it's going to be in alignment.

That's a good buffer, but either way, take those moments.

You don't need to react at everything in the moment.

When you're in that moment, your body freezes up.

And I know a lot of people who can't make decisions very quickly and they

freeze up and they'll just say whatever to make the other person feel good.

I am also guilty of that.

There are times when I just answer and I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have said

that, or I shouldn't have agreed to that.

And why did I do that?

And it's kind of a muscle that you have to keep retraining in your

body, so you're gonna tense up.

As soon as they ask you, your stomach's gonna drop and you're gonna

feel it in the pit of your stomach.

What I wanna invite you to do, I want you to try this exercise when

you're not being put on the spot.

Don't start doing this as soon as they start asking you, let's

try doing this on your own.

So I want you to think of a decision that you have to make.

Maybe it's like at a level five on a one to 10, 10 being,

do I jump off the building?

It's about to explode.

And one being, do I make a left and go to the park?

Or a right and just go home.

So as a level five, you may say, I'm not sure if I'm going to invest in that

fund, buy the car, whatever it is, right?

I want you to think of the question.

I want you to take three deep breaths in through the nose, out through the

mouth, and I want you to imagine the white light coming in through the nose.

The white light is of certainty, and you're exhaling.

All of the doubt, all of the confusion.

Do that three times.

Then I want you to feel in your body when you ask the question where it sits.

So I may say to myself, after I have three deep breaths, should I buy the

$80,000 car that I know I can't afford?

And when you ask yourself the question, I want you to understand and feel into

your body where it resonates for me when it's a no, it's at the pit of my stomach.

I feel it low, kind of heavy, a little icky.

It's like, ugh, like a rock.

When it's a yes, I feel it up in my solar plexus.

It kind of like vibrates.

My body starts to come a little bit and immediately I'm

like, yeah, this feels right.

This feels good.

Remember that?

If it's not an absolute yes, it's usually a no.

Sometimes we think that the decisions have the power and

that there's no other option.

That's like a mind game, right?

There is never just one option.

There is never just one car.

There is never just, I have to make this one decision at this exact

moment or things will explode.

There are always options.

You always have options.

You always have time.

It's usually never at a 10.

There are times in life that your stress level and the decision is at

a 10, but usually it's not at a 10.

So I want you to feel into your body when that happens.

If you do this enough times, you're gonna start to recognize.

What it feels like.

I'll give you a really easy example of this.

I was thinking of hiring a consultant for my business.

I had a few calls with them and I really liked them.

I knew that when the time was right I was probably gonna go with them.

So what happened is, is that we decided to set up another meeting,

and every time that meeting was coming up, something got in the way.

And you know what it's like, it's like a cancellation of this or that.

That's usually the universe trying to let you know that.

It's not fully in alignment.

Take a pause, the door's not fully open.

Okay.

So I pay attention to things like that.

And you should too, because when things are meant for you, the ceiling

opens, you hear music, it's like, ah.

You're like, I can't believe this just happened.

I ran into you in the hallway.

And then the person offered me the job and then before you knew it,

they had a car and I was on a yacht.

You know, that's how usually that happens.

It really does.

But when it's like block after block and little like.

Glitchy things, universe is like, I want you to pay attention to this one.

So anyway, I get on the call and I'm talking to them and they're saying

the things that are right, right?

They're saying the things that on paper sound right.

But I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach, it feels

like something feels off.

I'm feeling tense.

I don't like this feeling, but I thought it was supposed to be yes.

Like I felt kind of yes, but now it's feeling no.

And I really checked in with myself and I'm like, this is a no.

This doesn't feel like, yes, this feels like a no to me anyway.

It's a story for you to understand what it feels like in your

body and how to recognize that.

And when you get that feeling, that's not you overthinking,

you're not imagining things, you're not like, oh, you know what?

I should just say yes anyway.

Because what if I don't?

Find another consultant that wants to work with me ever again.

It's like, that's not true and that's not real.

And there are different avenues and paths that you can take.

Maybe that door is showing you that it's a little shut because

it's meant to go down another lane, another door is supposed to open.

These are the small decisions in life that lead you in a direction.

Whenever we end up in a place, living in a home, in a city with your partner,

with three kids, two dogs, wherever you end up in life, those were a series

of little decisions that you made.

If you're not careful, you can end up with a life that you do not like a life that's

inauthentic because it was made up of a lot of little decisions that you made on

the spot when you gave your energy away.

So choose wisely because you are choosing what your life

looks like tomorrow, right now.

So here's our mantra for today.

My energy is sacred and it is.

When we use the mine, we pull back our energy from wherever it was.

My energy is sacred and it is mine.

Until next time, remember that your home remembers you.