As we embark on this reflective journey, we delve into the intricate process of shedding the burdens of the past while simultaneously embracing the possibilities that lie ahead. In this episode, we explore the profound question: what are we ready to release, and what do we aspire to welcome into our lives as we transition into a new season? Engaging in thoughtful dialogue, we share our personal experiences and insights, all while enjoying libations that enhance our candidness. This conversation serves as a clarion call for introspection, urging us to confront the emotional landscapes that shape our existence. Join us as we navigate the delicate balance between letting go and moving forward, fostering a space for growth and renewal.

In this episode we are trying our best to get through the conversation as we are having libations. As we are getting ready for the new season. What are we ready to let go and what are we letting in?

Takeaways:

• In this episode, we engage in a reflective discourse about the seasonal transitions we encounter, contemplating what we are prepared to relinquish and what we wish to embrace moving forward.
• Our conversation is imbued with the influence of libations, which adds a layer of authenticity and candidness to our discussion about personal growth and transformation.
• We explore the challenging emotions associated with feeling lonely during transitional periods and the desire to connect with others while simultaneously pushing them away.
• The significance of boundaries is emphasized as we navigate our personal lives, advocating for the importance of maintaining one's own space amidst external pressures and opinions.
• As we prepare for a new season, we deliberate on the necessity of shedding unproductive habits and fostering healthier practices that align with our aspirations for personal fulfillment.
• The podcast underscores the importance of being present in our experiences, recognizing that growth often comes from discomfort, and allowing ourselves the space to process our feelings.

What is.

What is a hostile and aggressive.

Hey, don't repeat that here.

Don't repeat that here.

That's for us.

That's just for me and you.

I might be a little tipsy.

This is gonna be a fun episode.

I'm almost debating upon going to get the other bottle.

You might as well, because I'm about to finish this one.

I've already finished off the first one, so, like, I'm already there, so I better not.

I'm working tomorrow.

I ain't going nowhere today.

I ain't got no money.

But what you sent me, which, thank you, I'll give back when I can.

I'm blessed.

Don't give it back to me.

I gave it to you.

It's not erect anymore.

Yeah, it's not.

It's not even.

It's not at all hit and a soft.

It's just a.

You know, it's dainty.

Hey, you want to see my.

I want to show you my.

I was telling.

I was telling my friend Izzy.

Come on, Missy.

I was telling him because I got this mosquito bite that's like, the top of the crack of my ass, right?

And he was like, so what park was you in with your pants down all to your ankles showing the crack of your ass?

I was like, so I wasn't in the park.

I actually walked past the park because I don't go in the park at night because I can't see at night, because I'm terrified of going in parks at night, because I've had a situation way back in the day where I.

If I can't see, I'm terrified that something's gonna happen.

So.

So, like, I walked on the side of the part.

But also, I was in, like, these short shorts that I'm wearing now.

These are short shorts.

I was wearing these, but I had on a tank, a T shirt that was like.

All right, hold on.

So it.

So it was like this high.

So it wasn't.

It wasn't.

Oh, look at Malcolm.

Huh?

I was looking at your T shirt.

Malcolm X. Oh, yeah.

This is my.

You know what you say?

This is.

This is the image that Nikki used in her looking ass.

I remember when the daughter got offended.

I'm really quick because I have to get this out.

You never had bees like this before.

Our stylist.

Tighter than before.

You like a steel.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I had to keep it going.

I have no idea where that came from.

The.

Izzy is the.

Oh.

I love.

Let me tell you something.

The Super Duper Fly album is One.

Of my favorite albums.

That's actually.

That's literally the second.

Second CD I ever purchased.

Let me tell you something.

What she say?

Oh, how does it start?

Oh, I come up as my flow.

The people just don't know.

They hate the way that I flow.

That's why I said, see, they don't want to be like Missy.

So get it off your chest.

You know who's the best.

See, there's other.

Yes.

Who can get down like Missy.

Like that whole, like.

Oh, now you're gonna make me play this first album.

Now you're gonna make me play it when.

When.

Once we're done.

I might play it now.

I want.

That is one album that I would love to own on vinyl that I do not.

Oh, let me go see if I can find it right now while I'm in the spirit of spending money.

Super duper fly Vinyl.

They got it pre owned at Walmart.

Is this the vinyl or cd?

Cuz I don't need no cd.

This is a cd.

I knew you would do this.

I am humiliated.

You don't want Mag knew.

They don't.

They don't want Aaliyah.

Why?

You heard me.

Tell me why.

Oh, you can't even hear it.

Because it's playing in my ear.

Yes.

I can't.

Playing CDs.

Was.

What was the other one that was on there?

No, that was on another album.

Well.

I'm mixing up my albums.

Like her first, like through like so Super Duper Fly.

What's the second one?

She's a. Yeah, but that was a song.

But the album was called something else.

Missy so addictive.

No, that was third.

What was it?

Because it was like the whole Matrix thing with Timbaland being Morpheus.

The Real World.

The real World, absolutely.

Which is.

Has my.

That was a good one too.

Has my favorite song on there.

Which is what?

The.

My favorite song is the one with her and Dangerous Mouse.

Oh, with her Red bat.

Red band.

Yes.

Good.

Written to ambitions.

That's my.

That's my.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good riddance to.

And that's my.

But you know what I like too?

I like the one with Eminem too, but.

Oh, yeah, that one too.

My favorite one.

My very favorite one of all time.

Is it sticking Chickens?

Nope.

Her and Lil Mo.

Ask your Where I stay at Ask.

Your where I stay.

You know.

People forget that Little Mo started out as a rapper.

See, I'm that chick, yo.

That same chick.

And I'm gonna be on that same.

Stop playing that game.

Are we doing the episode or not.

I don't know.

You've been sucking his dick tasting by click on the side.

Chicks.

I'm a side bitch.

You decide.

Oh, everything, Everything.

And then it was such a little beautiful R B song before it got to that part.

Okay, come on, let's do it.

Wait.

We just go.

Wait, hold on.

I.

Wait, wait.

Now.

Now I gotta hear it.

Now I gotta hear part of it.

Hold on.

Where is that?

It's literally right here.

The only song I did not like is the song with her and Juvenile.

Everything else on that album, I could with that one.

I love that song.

With V. You would because you're from where you are.

Let me tell you something.

I can't believe.

That beat is so nasty.

I'm okay with that.

That's the only one.

That beat is so nasty.

Oh, that beat is so nasty.

Hold on.

Where is it?

Did you.

Do you remember.

Do you remember when Kid Fury and they did.

They did the whole entire.

Is that on this album?

What.

What song is it?

What's the name of it?

The way you talk about.

Because I don't see it.

That's.

We did it.

No, no, no.

I'm sorry.

That's.

You can't resist.

Y' all don't want to give me my props.

No, we don't.

Y don't want to give me my props.

I'm have to take two shots of a Gl Pop out there.

Beasley chop making somebody go hit it to the high.

But I won't stop.

Can't stop.

Cheddar in my pox.

You be sucking his dick, sicking my clips.

I the side.

I'm the side.

I'm the size.

You just fry.

Okay, come on, let's record an episode.

Hold on.

Tell the crew was a bad.

I have water somewhere.

See, now you got.

Now you got me in the Missy mode, I think.

Listen, I don't care what people say.

Missy is in top five for me.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

And that's before any of, like, the commercially successful songs because I think she didn't really become commercially successful until, like, get your freak on and stuff like that.

And that was a little later on down the line.

All right.

This bright light.

Okay, Bright light, bright light.

I'm gonna let it shine.

I don't know.

I just thought about.

You don't remember that scene from the beginning scene of what's all got to do with It?

No, no, I just.

Yeah, it's.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

It's the unexpected.

You just can't.

You just can't.

You Just can't get it together Give.

Me that funk get down with a sickness.

I think.

What was the one?

Candy shop or.

No, the Cookbook.

The Cookbook was the last one that I bought by her, but I think that was, like, her last official album, because anything after that was, like, mixtapes type things that she did.

I kind of.

Well, yeah, I kind of iconol.

No, no, the Cookbook came.

The Cookbook was the last official album.

I feel that was the one that had.

Sierra.

Yeah.

Hit the flow.

Everybody here.

Get it out of control Back south the world misdemeanor said so what's the name of that?

I'm trying to get to the name.

I'm not trying to sing the song.

Everybody.

Yeah, Lose control with Fat man.

We're making this control RMP rip Fat man spook.

Okay, so I guess I'm gonna.

I'm gonna use.

I'm gonna use some.

Some of this.

Missy is gonna go in the beginning, I guess.

Okay.

All right.

You here, I'm here.

I'm queer.

They're getting used to it.

I think they're used to it by now, you know?

And if they're not all, well, because, you see, you had apple opportunity.

Ample opportunity.

If you don't like it, get the out.

Oh, I'm so excited about my opening segment.

Come on, let's go.

Listen, y' all here getting microphones and sounding foolish.

This is not just another podcast where two men are talking about and don't make any sense.

This is a real, real conversation for real adults.

What's bowita.

What are we even talking about?

What are we even talking about?

Listen to it now because you want to know what we're talking about.

What up, King?

What up, sir?

And what up to all you out there.

Now I'm saying what up?

Not even what stuff anymore.

Welcome to the yo, what up, yo what?

Yo, what up?

What up and nigglets.

Welcome to the what are we Even Talking About?

Podcast.

Shout out to all my.

No, I'm kidding.

You said what up to all my.

And neglect.

I had to.

Yeah.

So anyway, other episode.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

No.

So.

So I think that at this point in time, we've.

Something like that.

And y' all know who we are.

It's me, sir.

Pj.

You know what we do here.

Who are you?

King Christopher is I.

This episode has been brought to you by two bottles of wine.

Mine is bit.

Mine is barefoot, because I am walking around barefoot, but I have one sock on, actually.

You ever walk around the House with one sock on.

Many times, actually.

It's one of my favorite pastimes.

I actually like walking around barefoot.

So for those that don't know if this is your first time here, every other episode, we take turns choosing the topic unbeknownst to the other so that the conversation is unrehearsed, authentic, and most importantly, a safe space for friends to be vulnerable.

Get your favorite cocktail if you don't have one, mocktails, if you don't drink, and if you like the blunts, now's the time to spark it.

Well, well, we're gonna go ahead and get started.

Hey, pj.

How's your week?

It's.

It's the fact that you just went through the whole entire script.

No, because it was like, y' all know us at this point.

Okay.

My week's been full of.

Full of kaka.

You know, we are recording this episode on a Friday.

I'm on the beach.

I wish I was on the beach.

I have not.

I'm so.

It's so funny you say that.

I have not been to a beach in about three years.

Oh.

And the last.

I mean, I only go to nude beaches, so if I'm not gonna go to a new beach, I'm probably not gonna go to a beach again.

But I took it all off and put that sand in your crack.

So we've been drinking, so pay attention.

Hopefully, guys, you guys can.

My week has been trash.

I have been emotionally drained.

Emotional damage.

I have been dealing with a lot of emotional damage.

I've been trying my best to keep to myself.

I'm in my hermit era, and I don't want to be bothered.

But I know that every ever so often, I have to peep out just to let people know that I'm still alive.

So I'll post something so they know that I'm still alive.

But I'm not reaching out to anybody or texting anybody, because it's not like anybody's texting me.

So I text them, yeah, let's do better.

How's your week?

My week is swell.

Actually, the complete opposite of yours.

I wish I could take some of my week's energy and pour it into your week, because I've had an incredible week.

I have felt really good.

I've had some amazing experiences.

I have hated being at work, but in the meantime, I don't know if I'm ready to say it.

I'll wait till it gets closer to the top.

You're not.

You're not.

You're not.

But in the meantime, I Got some really good news recently, so I am grateful for that.

But, yeah, my week has been really, really awesome.

I've been experiencing a tremendous amount of peace.

I have been flowing, everything's been good.

I can't even complain about a thing.

Like, I'm so super duper grateful.

So what I would like to do, because, you know, we've kind of been switching things up here and there with our segments, I would like to go back to the beginning and I want to shoot you with a few warm up questions just to kind of, you know, warm it up.

And then I'm going to give it back to you so you can cool it down.

But my first.

Wait.

So wait, what segment is this?

This is called Warm Up Questions.

Nigga, I just said I'm going to use some questions.

That's it.

Warm up question.

Warm it up.

With love.

Brandy could have kept it up.

Warm it up.

First question.

Tell me about a time where you felt really surprised that your expectations were met because going into the situation, you were a little pessimistic.

I need a little bit more.

Narrow it down.

Narrow it down for me a little bit more.

Absolutely.

You went into an experience and you thought that it was going to be trash.

And beyond that experience, you were like, well, hm, that was surprisingly exceptional.

Narrow it down a little bit more.

Because the only thing I keep hearing is sex.

So if that's what's on your heart, let's talk about it.

Sex.

Better yet, leave it.

Ladies and gentlemen, this episode has been brought to you by wine.

For all you golden shower lovers, that was just the wine pouring into the cup, not anything else.

Oh, my God.

So is it.

Is it like every fifth or tenth episode we're going to start talking about sex?

I think that should be a thing too.

I think that should be it.

So thinking it's going to be trash.

Not.

I won't say I think it's going to be trash, but, like, there's a guy that lives here in New York that I told him that, like, back in the day, like, I kind of, like, didn't really.

I thought he was a good guy.

Shout out to you, Keith.

I thought he really was, like a sweet, wholesome, just awesome, extremely attractive.

And I said I really didn't want to, like, mess with him in that kind of way because I didn't want to, like, fuck up his.

Like, I thought he was a good guy.

I didn't want to, like, mess up his life.

And we were like, you know, having fun and he was shocked me and I did not know he was filthy in the way that I am.

And he said, you know, why are you acting like this?

Because I. I've heard about you.

Which, number one gave me pause, but number two is like, what do you mean you've heard about me?

He's like, yeah, I've heard that you're a little wild.

And you, like, you know, you're pretty.

You know, you're very sexually explorative, which I am.

And I said to him, no, because I've.

I've always thought you as a good guy.

He was like, no, I'm just as nasty as you want me to be.

However you want me to be.

And till this day, huh?

Leave.

Leave.

Beep.

Till this day.

He is one of the people that I like.

I think that we could.

He's Sagittarius.

We could have.

Act for me.

That works.

We could have had a very, really great relationship because he's very.

He's all the things that I would want him to be behind closed doors.

It was an amazing experience with him several times, but the first time.

Hi.

Hey.

Hey.

Working?

Not at the moment, but I am doing something right now.

I am recording.

Okay.

All right, then call me when you get a chance.

Call.

Just call me later.

Okay.

All right.

This calls for tequila.

Try this again.

I need.

I need a second.

I need a second.

Okay.

Take your time.

Sam.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are sloshed.

But we're gonna.

We're gonna actually.

We're actually gonna do this regardless, no matter what.

We're gonna put this episode out so you can.

Nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because we said we're gonna be authentic and unrehearsed, so that's where we're at.

So if you had the opportunity right now with everything that you know about life, all of the experiences that you've had up until this point, no limitations.

There's no concept of time, no concept of money.

Just you.

Based on your availability and your desires.

If you had the opportunity to be anywhere else right now, doing anything else besides sitting here with me recording this episode, where would you be?

What would you be doing?

Paint the scene.

Laying naked on the beach.

Oh, do.

Does this beach have a name?

Well, here in New York, we got Gunnison Beach.

It's Sandy Hook.

It's one of our.

It's one of our nude beaches here.

And honestly, I have not been to a beach in about three to four years.

I've also, like, my.

I was looking at some old school body pictures of mine, and I'm gonna show.

I'm gonna show you exactly what I mean.

I'm gonna show you this.

All right.

So you can never.

Yeah.

So, like, here's an example, like, of what my body used to look like.

Right.

Versus what it looks like now.

Okay.

I was very confident here.

Now, not so much, but I would.

If I could be anywhere right now, I think that's where I would be.

Because I think that helps, like, rejuvenate me and helps me, like, kind of get back to my core and where I don't give a so much about what people think.

That's actually where I would be for me.

I would be jumping out of a plane.

For everybody that does not know.

I don't know if I've ever said it here before.

One of the greatest experiences of my lifetime has been skydiving.

I've done it twice.

The first time I was terrified.

Terrified.

But it ended up being sensational.

The second time, I was not scared and in ended up being terrible.

But that was because of the person I was in tandem with.

However, it's one of the best experiences for me.

If you've ever thought about doing it and you've been afraid, I would definitely recommend it.

I always tell people it's like taking your fear and putting it into the universe and leaving it there.

It's so exhilarating.

It's so exciting.

It's so liberating and freeing.

And I just don't know that I've ever had something that's ever given me that same feeling.

So if I could be anywhere else right now, doing anything else, right now, I would be jumping out of an airplane and I'm just falling free into the earth until my tandem partner pulled the.

Push pulled the button so that we can pull the.

Whatever it is.

I don't even know the you call it.

So the parachute will release because I always forget and they have to do it.

Yeah, I would hope that you wouldn't forget because.

No, I literally always forget.

So I've done it twice.

Like, literally both times I was like, they're like, oh, yeah, it's such and such feet.

You gotta watch for it.

You pull the thing and, like, if you don't pull it, I'll pull it.

So.

So.

But yeah, the second time I did it, the guy I went with, he was a.

But all good.

Chris, the first guy did it with.

He was amazing.

He made me feel very comfortable and confident and safe despite my fear.

I think it was just being on such a small plane and then actually getting to the door.

It's like oh, my God.

I'm about to, like, literally jump out of a plane.

I have never done it.

I have never done it.

I am terrified.

I am 10 out of 10 terrified of heights.

10 out of 10.

I'm that guy that will.

That you've seen on videos where they're, like, on a roller coaster and they pass out, like, three, four times.

That's me.

I am terrified of heights.

There's a train station here in New.

In Brooklyn that if it's literally outside walking down, down to the street level, but it is too high, and there's no.

I am.

I. I can't do it.

I. I freeze up.

He's got his thumbs up because yours.

Did the little thing with apple where it puts the little thing up and mine doesn't.

It never does it push the clock.

But no, I'm.

I'm terrified of heights.

So, like, I. I don't know how.

How you do it.

I don't.

I don't think I could do it.

I think that I would.

I would have wasted my money.

You would have to jump.

No.

So I'll, like.

So once they.

You have the opportunity to say, I've changed my mind.

Up until the point that you're on the plane.

Once you're on the plane, there's no turning back.

And so.

Because it's like, the only way you can offer here is if you jump out.

So it's one of those things.

But, like, yeah, it was amazing for me.

Like I said, I was so excited about the first time that I went back.

I had made the intention when I was still living in Texas to go once a quarter, and then life happened.

But I would love to, like, I feel like, you know, given time, space, opportunity again.

So could you.

And.

Could you.

Could you and I do it together?

And then you be the one.

You have to.

In order to be considered licensed, in order to do it, you have to do it so many times.

Like, you have to have had so many tandem jumps, and then you have to take, like, a safety class and all these different things.

But, yes, you can become certified to do it.

I would just have to go through all the steps.

I wouldn't be able to just say, like, hey, I want to go with him.

No, essentially, you'd have to be with somebody who's certified and licensed to do it.

I would do it with you.

I would do it with you.

Listen, it's.

It's amazing.

It's sensational.

All right, next question.

If there was one thing right now, and all these questions are like hypothetical, like, what would you do if you could do this?

If there was one thing right now.

Unlimited budget.

Like, unlimited budget.

I have no limits as far as my spending power.

What am I doing right now?

Paint the picture for me.

I am right now.

I looked at the bank account and every time I open the app and refresh it, there's more and more money in the account.

I'm gonna go do this.

If I could right now.

If I could.

You know what?

I, I probably would travel.

I, I would, I would, I would go to a different country and I wouldn't want to go to two things.

So within, within the United States of America, I would want to go to every single country and, and visit its visit.

It's most like what, what each state's bridge is.

That's one thing I would want to do.

Two, I would want to eat their, like whatever their, their state, whatever the state's like known food is eating is for.

I would want to go eat that.

And three, if it's, I mean, it's international, so that's all domestic.

If it's international, I just really would want to like travel each country and, and go to, and do one thing that each country is known for.

If there was, if there was enough, if there was nothing to stop me.

Yeah.

So I want to go to every single country and find out.

Okay, so if I want to go to I don't give a, like Romania and find out what that country is known for, you know, I would do it even if it had like mayonnaise involved.

Heard.

So for me, the first thing I'm gonna do, I'm paying off every single known debt that I have.

No, no, no, no.

Yeah, this is me.

I'm paying off all these debts and I'm getting with all my people, everybody I consider close to me.

I'm like, who are the creditors, where they at, who I gotta call?

I'm paying off all their debts.

Then from there, you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna buy me a house.

A big ass house, A big beautiful ass house.

And I'm gonna like do everything that I can on, on site.

Like I don't care how much money I've got to pay.

I don't give a what jet it's got to be put on.

I don't give a care what crane you have to like have shipped in.

Like, I want everything here today.

And I'm gonna decorate the home to my heart's desire.

And then I'm just going to donate, donate, donate and buy, buy, buy.

Like I want to be able to be very philanthropic and just fulfill all the desires of my heart because there aren't many.

I'm not very Gucci, Louis Prada.

But just being able to have nice things and being able to be comfortable and being able to do whatever it is that I so desire and not having to work.

So yeah, traveling I think at some point would come later on, but in the immediate, like I would want to set myself up to be comfortable.

Comfort is the, the key.

So one last question just to inquire and you tell me if this is too much for you because, you know, maybe you're not in the place that's to you where you want to be this vulnerable.

He makes fun of me.

I don't know if you all have ever noticed, but he makes fun of me.

I do not make fun of you often.

It's just you were like.

So as you can hear him making fun of me after he said he does not make fun of me.

But we're here.

My last question is Mary kill Denzel Washington.

Michael B. Jordan, if he was still alive.

Tupac.

Off the, off the, off the.

Rip.

It doesn't matter.

This is hypothetical, disrespectful.

You need to.

Ladies and gentlemen, don't be mad.

So I would Tupac, I would marry Michael B. Jordan and I would kill Denzel.

Interestingly enough, we are both murdering Denzel Washington.

Let's start there.

You got a guy.

You got a guy.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Denzel.

Sorry to this man.

Get your hands off me.

Denzel and Denzel swap it out.

I am going to dog walk Michael B. Jordan.

He is going to get every bit of the business that I could give any person the business.

I'm a dog.

Dog walk him.

And then I'm going to spend the rest of my life enjoying the gentile thug that is Tupac.

That's gonna be my husband.

Okay, now what do you have for us segment wise on Today?

You know, so it's so interesting because I don't have a segment whatsoever.

Segment.

None.

None.

I actually, I thought I did.

I wrote it down and now I can't find it.

So I am going to just ask a series of questions and I'm just going to say, is it just me?

Okay.

Is it just me or is time laughing at us?

I feel like we literally just said happy New Year Year and pretty soon we'll be saying Happy New Year once again.

Like right now, it is September already and I just feel like, time is just moving too fast.

I get that.

Is.

Is it just me, or do dogs, literally, their only purpose is to drive you absolutely crazy?

Hold on for a second.

Nerves.

Let me.

Is it just me or ironing your clothes is way entirely too overrated.

Them wrinkles.

I mean, because for what.

Who are we trying to impress?

We're just putting clothes in our back.

The.

I could walk out here naked, like, you know, and one more thing.

Is it just me, or is.

What Is it just.

Is it just me, or is it, like, annoying?

The fact that I have to, I don't know, lock my doors when I come in the house.

Like, I want to.

Like, is this just me, or do you.

Does anybody else want to, like, no.

That is trauma.

Pause for a second.

I was like, the given barnyard.

You want to be in one of those places where people could just walk in and like, hey, I just came to borrow a few eggs.

Yeah.

Is it just me or is it.

I really.

I really.

I.

Like, is it just me or is it just.

I just don't know what I want to do with myself, like, every single day.

I have no idea what I want to do with myself today.

Like, today is my day off.

Today I'm just laying around the house Today.

I'm just.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't know what I want to do with myself.

Is it just me, or am I the only one on those days?

I don't think that's just true.

I think there are a lot of.

People that way, because it's like, you have the time.

It's like, okay, I have all these hours, but before I know it, because I am off, the time's got to seem like it flew by.

So let me figure out within the time that I do have what I can do to make the joy and the day enjoyable, but also be productive.

Also take care of some things that maybe I haven't had the chance to take care of before now.

It's like it's a clusterfuck.

And then before you know it, now you're just laying around.

Is it just me, or is being a peeping Tom not that bad?

Can't relate, but I'm sure other people feel that way.

Is it.

Is it just me, or, like, cruising bathrooms isn't as bad as people make it out to sound?

Is it just me, or am I just losing my mind?

I don't think you're losing your mind.

Is it just me or parents, like, actual responsibilities?

One of those main responsibilities is getting on their child's last nerve.

That might be a thing that may not just be you.

Unrelated.

And I'm sorry because this just occurred.

Does Ryan Seacrest host fucking Wheel of Fortune right now?

Yes.

Let me tell y' all about how completely out of the loop I am and how I know nothing about the world.

It's like when Britney found out Ryan Seacrest was straight and she was so confused.

No, like, deadass.

I just like it.

What's so crazy is, is that it just showed up as a banner ad and I was like, wait, that's Vanna White.

But what the is Ryan Seacrest doing up here?

Well, do.

Wait, do you remember that day when R. Chris was talking and Britney was.

Like, yeah, it was him.

Her what I am.

And she was like, yeah, like the.

Yeah.

Ryan.

Yeah.

Is it just me or is it like time is moving backwards?

What do you mean by that?

Expound.

Like, there are moments where I feel like I've lived this already.

There are moments where I.

Not just deja vu, but like, completely.

Like, I have done this before.

I have done this.

I have seen this.

I know what's about to happen.

It's like Groundhog's Day times the Lazarus Priest Project sidebar.

I've just finished watching that.

I'm so mad that.

Is it just me or that I am tired of you posting on YouTube or Instagram or whatever these clips of these movies, television shows, or whatever the y' all get y' all from, but y' all don't want to say the name of the TV show or clip that you got it from?

This.

Go through the comments and no one wants to say where it is.

You gotta keep scrolling.

And scrolling is really bad for that.

Facebook is really, really bad for that.

You know, it's.

It's just.

I'm just tired.

I'm just tired.

Is it just me or just can I take a nap and not be tired when I wake up?

But yeah, that's it.

I'm tickled.

But you know something?

Like, you have a question for me?

I do.

Because, you know, stop trying to rush me the.

But is it just me or do I want to really want to know.

And like, do you guys want to know?

What are we even talking about?

So excited.

So today.

Let me get into my ASMR bag.

Let me get into my asmr.

Okay, no, but seriously, because I was like, so today.

Stop.

Oh, my God.

So as the.

No, I always think about Winifred Sephard when she was like.

As the summer comes so close and we are entering into the awesome season.

I don't know if you can recall, but I'm sure our listeners who have been listening consistently can recall that we have talked on many different occasions about feeling like we were in periods of transformation.

What I would like to talk about today is as we are entering into this new season, shedding the layers, allowing the leaves to fall, and leaving behind some things that, you know, maybe haven't served us well, maybe are no longer beneficial for us, or maybe we've gotten to the point as to where said chapters have closed.

What do you feel like as you move into this new season?

Are some of the things that you are looking forward to, Whether it be looking forward to moving into or certain things that you are looking forward to leaving behind?

Tell me about the transitional period for you and what you hope that looks like.

Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to all take a pause really quick because I want you to know that King is not only being a ass right now because how dare he?

It literally is literally verbatim.

Tell me what it says.

Is say what.

What co star has been saying.

What is going on for me today?

I don't know.

Where did.

Are you able to see what my co star is saying?

I can't.

I think I can see.

Like, if we're collaborating, I might be able to see certain things, but I don't know that I can.

All right, tell me what it says.

So this morning I woke up and when I took a shit, the first thing I did was like, look at Costar.

And it said, write a 95 thesis moment about how you want to be treated and what changes you want to make and what things are you ready to let go and ready to let in?

I don't know if all of that.

I just feel like that was.

I don't think it actually translates.

So disregard.

No, I feel like on some level I can see the correlation.

Stop building your case around your ask and let it just happen is really what it says.

The next sentence.

Dive deeper.

Dig deeper.

Right now you take it in me.

You know, it's.

It's interesting because when you don't think you're about to trigger a conversation, you're about to make a triggering conversation.

I wish right now that.

Wait, what's your question again?

Just so I can make sure I'm making sense.

What do you want to fall by the wayside and what do you want to pick up and move forward and feel better about?

I want to fall by the wayside.

These niggas, every single one of you.

All you niggas, every single one of you.

Not one is excluded.

You niggas, you.

Every single one.

I am.

I am tired of chasing, wanting or wanting or desiring to be with someone, and then I am inviting the moments of being alone.

Like, I just.

I just feel like this.

This transitionary period is going to be like, all the ones in the past.

Like, whatever.

I'm gonna be by myself.

I'm not gonna entertain anybody.

I'm not going to be around anything.

I'm feeling a little depressed.

I'm feeling a little lonely.

I'm feeling a little like, all you.

I'm tired of, like, I'm.

I'm just not in the greatest space when it comes to, like, this transitionary period right now, because I don't think that for me.

And I'm pretty sure this is not what Christopher intended when he thought.

No, I intended for you to say whatever you were feeling in your heart.

I'm.

I'm just.

I'm feeling more lonely than I've ever felt before in my entire life.

That's what I'm feeling.

That's.

That's exactly where I'm feeling.

And the problem is.

The problem about it is it's my fault.

So, like, I own it.

I'm.

I'm pushing people away, but I'm acting like I'm okay with that, but I'm not because, like, I want to push people away, but I want somebody to fight, to be there.

It never gave you.

Read your mind.

I'm going to say that as a person that experiences being on the opposite side of that quite often from people.

Yeah, it never gave.

Read your mind.

Tell me what you want, or I'm not gonna.

Now tell me what you want, or I'm not gonna know.

And, yeah, like, you're gonna be disappointed every time because I'm over here.

Like, okay, well, you said you don't want to be bothered, so.

All right, I'm gonna leave you alone then.

But let me ask you this.

All right, bet.

So you've said that, and that's very deep, and that's very personal, and I appreciate you being willing to be so vul regard.

But in the event that things could be different, if we're speaking from a place of hope, if we're speaking from a place of things that potentially I would like to see change things that if you know the universe so saw fit, that could improve.

What would you like to be happening differently?

What are some ways that you feel could potentially improve that circumstance for you?

Money.

M O N E Y money, money, money, money.

I saw me one day, it was like, you're not depressed, bitch, you just broke.

You're not depressed.

You just need a haircut.

And I, and I, and I need a haircut because I don't have nobody.

I, I think that the lack of gets in the way of what it is I want to do and what is I want to do with people.

Like, I want to have fun, I want to be outside.

But I, I don't want you to pay for everything.

I don't want you to pay for anything, you know?

And like, it bothers me that there are moments like today, you know, FYI.

This is, that's not, that's not their business.

Keep pushing.

Yeah, but like, I just don't.

I, I want to be able to do things on my own.

And there are moments that I admit that I am not in the best place financially.

It's like a day by day, like, I could be in the best place on a Thursday, but Friday, baby, Thursday was living good.

Friday and Saturday, that ach comes in and be like, thank you.

I'll take that.

Thank you.

And then you wake up like, oh, oh.

So this came out of my account.

I really wish that there, there are moments in this transitional period where I can just be comfortable and be okay where I am today and not have to be like, okay, now I have to think about where I'm going to be next week.

Does that make sense?

It does.

Because I just want to say, fuck you, Automated Clearinghouse.

Yeah, that's it.

That's it.

But yeah, okay.

So I resonate with a lot of that.

For me as I'm, as I'm kind of moving forward in this season as things are shifting, as I'm kind of in this spirit of transformation, the things that I would like to see happen, and I feel like they've already started happening, but I would definitely like, you know, when things start happening and they're moving in their own time, it's like you almost want to become like the narrator, the magician, the person with the pen who can like, just move things out of your way.

I would like to eliminate every piece of drama from my life.

I don't want to deal with anybody's drama.

And honestly, I say anybody's because I know for me, if it's up to me, just based on my day to day experience, it's given very drama free, it's giving very peaceful, it's giving very cozy, it's giving very comfortable.

It's given everything that I can do to maintain the positive energy that I've created.

But I feel that it's one of those things where when I invite other people in and I allow other people to kind of play a role in how my days go in my experiences, sometimes I just get to that point as to where, like, before you know it, drama ensues and I'm at that place where I just don't want to deal with it.

I feel like life is hard enough.

If you live in America right now, you know what's going on in this country, if you live in the world right now, you know what's going on in other countries.

If you live in this economy right now, you know what's going on for people.

Financially, I feel like life is hard enough.

We all sometimes are just trying to do our best to get through the day, the week, the month, the year without literally saying, you know what?

I don't know if I want to do this anymore.

Like, it's hard.

Life is hard sometimes.

So finding yourself in a position where you invite other people into your space, other people into your energy, other people into your atmosphere, and then what they have to offer is something that is negative, it's something that is draining, is something that is stressful.

Yeah.

As I move into this new season, I hope that all of that can fall away.

And what I would like to see in its place is better habits.

I think for me, just in regard to what you were saying from that financial place, a lot of times for me, and this is me being a little bit more transparent than I feel I've been in the past when it comes to this, a lot of times for me, it's just my negative habits.

I've learned, especially right now, that I make more than enough money to take care of all of my needs, to take care of some of my wants, and to save.

However, I'm in a space right now where just based on.

And I can make a lot of excuses for it, but I won't.

Just poor decision making.

Sometimes I find myself in a space where needs will get met because that's important.

Let's pay the bills.

Because, you know, whatevs.

And then from there it's like, oh, once, cool, we got some of those.

But hey, I still want some more things.

And oh, I want that too.

And oh, afterpay, definitely Klarna.

YouTube, zip.

Pay, sure, affirm.

Give me some of that.

And before you know it, now I've created even more debts, I've created even more bills, I've created even More financial responsibilities.

And, yeah, I have these things, and it's exciting when the packages come, and it's fun when I get these deliveries, and I know that this is shipped and this is out for delivery and all of those cute, fun things.

However, I don't know that any of those things equate to, oh, now I have all these additional financial obligations, and now whenever I do get a paycheck, there are more bills that I have to pay, and I don't get to enjoy the fruits of my labor in the same way that I would like to.

So for me, I'm definitely hoping that I can develop some better habits.

I'm hoping that some of the poor habits that I've created for myself can kind of be eliminated or that I can discover ways for myself to eliminate them and that I can continue to work on improving my mental health.

I talked to my therapist last night, and I told him that I am considering moving from being bi weekly to weekly.

And he informed me.

He was like, I don't think that you need it, but if that's something that you want, I definitely agree.

I said, honestly, I want to start treating my mental health like it's fitness.

People that go to.

To the gym, you know, regularly because they want to work out, I feel like therapy is something that I want to incorporate as a part of my routine life.

And sometimes I feel, yeah, we might have a great conversation, and I may get some great tools and resources, but then I go back out into the world and two weeks go by, and it's like, well, Bishop, I didn't utilize none of that shit.

Now I gotta come back and tell you about the ways that I failed.

Maybe if I talk to you on a more regular basis, I would feel more confident and feel like I had a better place of stability and security in regard to, like, how I'm navigating that space for me.

So I think as I move forward, improving my mental health is definitely something that I want to experience in this transitional period as well.

You're making faces.

Tell me about them.

So pause, pause.

So it's interesting how sometimes what we want is the opposite of what we do.

So what we want is, example, yesterday, when we started talking, and this may not make it, and you tell me if you want.

If you want to be.

If you're.

No, it's fine.

I'm with it.

You said that you think that you might need a new therapist.

Yeah.

And now you want to see him more.

Yeah.

Than you like that.

That's contra.

Like.

No, there's there's part of, there's part of me that's trying to figure out how that makes sense.

Like you, you want to see, like you think that you've outgrown this individual because he's not.

Let me, let me.

But then you want to see him more.

No, let me clarify.

But because that, what I said it yesterday.

I think on some level I might have led you to believe what you just said.

And what I was trying to convey was something different.

It's not that I feel like.

So.

So for anybody that's curious, if I haven't said it here before, I've been in therapy.

This year makes five years I've been with the same therapist.

He's incredible.

The thing for me, and it's a me thing and I understand what it is, it's not on him in any way.

I feel like he's great at his job.

What it comes down to is, I think for me, ideally, and maybe it's based on, you know, a lot of times we get our views of how things show up from television and movies and books, we don't really know what it's supposed to look like.

And then from a timeline perspective, you see these people in these movies.

You're watching an hour and a half, a two hour movie, and you're thinking like, oh, that was happening over the course of a month.

Who knows, we might catch up with somebody.

And it's two years later.

And they just didn't indicate that in the film.

But with that being said, I think going into therapy that I had an expectation of what it was supposed to look like and what it was supposed to feel like and what it was supposed to be like.

I thought I was supposed to come and talk about my problems and that I was supposed to leave with this work to do and that through this assignment and these tools and resources that I've been provided, that I was supposed to gradually over time, see all of this progress.

But I think ultimately what's been happening is that long term I'm able to look back over experiences and say, wow, five years ago this would have been a completely different experience.

Five years ago, I probably wouldn't have had the bandwidth to have navigated this.

Five years ago, I probably wouldn't have been able to approach this conversation from this mind state and have had this from a place of said maturity.

So I think for me it's just being in that space of feeling.

Like sometimes when it comes to my therapy experience, especially with my therapist, because I admire him so greatly, And I feel like sometimes we have a great deal in common.

I have a gay black therapist.

He also has adhd.

So it's like one of those things.

That's where it's like, sometimes I feel like I relate to him so well as to where maybe things get lost in translation.

And I'd be like, oh, this is like talking to a friend.

But no, at the end of the day, this is definitely my medical.

My mental health professional money from you, he gets.

He.

Every two weeks, he gets up, he gets a paycheck from me.

But with that being said, I've often considered that based on me and knowing who I am and how I show up, that maybe things are not moving at the rate that I would hope or expect them to, and that maybe with another therapist, that things could be different.

But I also have to be realistic in the idea of.

I don't want to have to start over with anybody.

I don't want to have to unload all of the things that he and I have spent these last five years gaining an understanding of, which that's a lot.

That is a lot, a lot.

Open up all over again and start from.

It's like, that's therapy.

That therapy feels.

It feels like a bunch of weird first dates when you're trying to find a new therapist.

Absolutely.

And I've been there.

Like, he was like, third strike for me.

Like, if it wouldn't have worked with him, I think I would have given up.

But interestingly enough, I felt like with him, the thing that I appreciated the value in the most was that I can literally say to him, I'm so tired of these.

I don't know what to do.

And I don't in any way have to feel uncomfortable about that.

I don't in any way have to feel like I have to switch up any of my verbiage in regards to that, because he understands where I'm coming from.

I was just texting him earlier in regard to some messages that I was exchanging with somebody, and I said, please tell me not to block him, because this about to make me lose it.

And he responded to the text message like, if I had another therapist that maybe wasn't black, that maybe wasn't a man, that maybe wasn't gay, I might on some level feel like I had to not as authentically show up, not be able to express it in the way that I did from that space of not having to check myself or choose my words wisely or whatever that looks like.

It's.

It's such a Freeing experience.

So in regard to that, what I said to you yesterday, I think for me, that was just me being in a moment of feeling like sometimes I feel like when it comes to progress, I feel like I have not made as much as I want to.

And maybe if I was dealing with somebody different, I would have made more.

But again, I don't blame that on him.

I more so blame it on me.

I have to hold myself accountable to that.

But then, two, I think in that idea of like, oh, well, if I was meeting him more often, maybe that would put me in the position to feel like I was making more progress on more consistent basis.

You know what?

Let me.

Let's take a step back, ladies and gentlemen.

Y' all know I do this all the time.

So let's take a step.

Is it just me or you wish people would stay the out of my business?

And when I say to stay the out of my business, I'm not even talking about what we would just talk about right now.

I just talking about what just jumped in my mind earlier.

So, like, I am.

Earlier this morning I went to go get breakfast and I was thinking to myself, and I was like, sitting outside.

Now, for those of you who do not know, I am a smoker.

I have been a smoker since I was like 20.

I am now going on 45.

What are you trying to.

We're talking about cigarettes.

Okay, we're just going to leave it there.

And I bet I have actively quit three times in my whole entire smoking career, right?

Career.

Like, I make money from this shit, but there it is.

And there are people in my.

In my vicinity.

And I want you all to know this.

Stop telling people.

Ladies and gentlemen, I wish I could tell you what I just saw, but I will not.

All I could just tell you is success.

Honey.

Ladies.

So there are people in my vicinity that have said to me over and over again, you are too handsome to smoke.

And I'm well aware I'm.

I know what I look like and I know cigarette smoking is not an attractive habit to have.

And I have, like I said, been successful at like, stop smoking for periods of time.

But I really want, during this transitional period for people to stay the fuck out of my business.

Now, I Sitting outside this morning and I had.

I was just sitting outside and I was on my phone.

She's like, well, look at you.

You haven't.

She's like, I saw you come outside.

I was sitting in my car and.

And you didn't have a cigarette.

And I saw you go upstairs you didn't have one, so you decided to quit.

I was like, mind your fucking business.

I don't have any money to buy a pack right now.

So if I did have some, I would probably.

But I am trying to actually quit.

So, yes, I.

During this transitional period, I really want people to learn their boundaries, and I want people to learn how to stay in their fucking lane.

Like, I didn't ask you for you to jump in.

And I'm saying this, and all of this was triggered by me just being triggered.

Saying what I said about what you said.

Yeah, like, I didn't ask you to jump in.

What's going on personally for me.

Right.

Like, so, like, yes, I would love to sit here and stop because in New York City, a pack of cigarettes is about $20 now.

Oh, my God.

And I have said when it.

When it goes beyond 20 is when I'm definitely not buying anymore.

But also, like, it's expensive and I want to.

I used to work at a gas station and we would sell a pack of cigarettes for like $5.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like.

It's like one of those things where it's like, I'm aware of the damage I'm doing to myself.

I'm aware of what's going on with it.

I'm aware of the cancer risks.

I'm aware of, like, the health disparities that us as black people have.

I don't smoke Newports, number one.

So let's just leave that there.

That's that.

I don't do that.

But I. Ladies and gentlemen, cash money.

Right As I said it, I realized as I was saying it, but you.

That's.

That.

That be poor.

The.

That should stink.

But all cigarettes think.

But I. Oh, I really wish people would.

I really wish people would understand what boundaries are and what like, hey, you stay in your lane and let me let you in when I want you to let you in.

And when I don't need you here, don't be here.

Don't, don't.

I am trying my best to be the better person that I know that I can be.

But I can't be that person with some random ass nigga or bitch up in my ear saying, hey, you should stop.

A, B and C, X, Y and Z.

Mind your business.

Mind it.

Stay over there.

How about you put some lotion on your crusty ass.

Ankles.

I'm tired of looking at your white ass fucking ankles.

Toes.

Your white is toes.

See?

Oh, God.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Go back to what?

What's.

What's the next question that you might have.

I'm sorry.

Okay, we're here.

I was just.

I was just triggered for a second.

It's okay.

We're here.

So I guess I would want to know.

Okay.

Bet we're in this space where, you know, things are the way that they are and you feel how you feel.

You know, you kind of have some hopes.

What are some things that.

Based on your current experience, and this is just, you know, whether this is hypothetical, whether this is realistic, whatever that looks like for you.

What are some things that you feel that you could be doing right now to be working towards some goals that you have as far as moving into this new season for you?

Like, what are some small, subtle ways that you could start, like, making some, you know, changes to make some real impact in regard to that.

So.

Which would require me to be outside Lego.

And I'm outside.

Yeah, right, right.

Being outside sometimes gives me more anxiety, and then it needs to.

So I choose to stay inside because I know how I can get around people and I know that I can get.

And we're just speaking about me.

I don't know if this is other people who feel this way.

I have a tendency to ignore how I initially feel and just try to make other people feel comfortable when confronted or when asked or when talking to or whatever.

Like, I'm a people pleaser.

So it's always like, let me not make sure.

Let me make sure that you don't feel annoyed or dislike any type of discomfort from a situation.

But I am completely, like, losing my mind.

Like, I want to be outside right now.

Like, I literally want to be outside.

Well, weed in your arm.

I do.

But I don't want to be outside.

I don't want to be around people.

I wouldn't ever want to be outside.

I want to be.

I want to be right.

I want to be bored of being in the house.

I want to be.

I want to be.

I want to be riding my bike.

I want to be.

I want to be outside.

I want to be where the people are.

I want to.

I want to.

You know, I want to be like.

Ariel a little bit of the song.

I want to be where the people are.

I want to see.

Want to see them dancing, walking along on those.

What do you call them?

Oh, yeah.

Street flipping your fins.

You don't get too far.

Legs are required for jumping, dancing, strolling around on those.

What do you call those again?

Oh, yeah.

Streets up where they walk up.

I want to be where they walk where they run where they stay all day in the sun but wandering free I.

While I wish I could be part of that world, I'm going to stay on my couch.

I'm going to stay on my bed.

I'm going to stay where it's comfortable because I know that there are moments where if I get outside, there are, Tim.

There are times.

And again, this is just me living in my.

In myself.

It's more about other people than it is for me.

But also considering, so that you can know that it's okay for you to stop saying that.

Also considering that this is coming from the vantage point of the ways that your life is impacted by your mental health and understanding that that's a part of your reality and that everybody's different and everybody has that their own mental health and the ways that they're impacted by those things.

Like, I want to be outside right now.

Like even, like even as we're recording this right now.

So It's Friday at 3:37 Eastern Standard Time, 2:37 Central.

Right?

I would love to be in this moment, on a day off, outside, amongst the people doing whatever, but I would prefer to be home.

I don't want to be around people.

See, I don't want to.

So I want to be around people.

So this is the flip for me.

I want to be around people.

However, I don't want to be outside.

I want company.

I'm totally comfortable in this, the dwelling.

I'm totally comfortable in the space that I've created.

I'm totally comfortable in this zone.

However, it would be nice to be able to share it with somebody.

And then I, and, and so, but then I get mad at myself because I technically had that.

But then I pushed that away because.

Because it wasn't in the way that I wanted it or like, I was comfortable with.

So, like, there are levels to it that I, I in this.

To answer your question, your original question.

They was knowing too much.

They were, they were doing a lot.

They were doing before you try to put that all off on you, the.

We can.

But.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

But there are, there are days where I want someone to understand me and not try to make me be out to what they want me to be, but understand where I am in my journey, in my walk and like, can be comfortable taking the small baby steps that I take when it comes to being outside.

Let me tell you something.

I relate to every single word of that.

It's the way you just said they.

Were doing too much Every single word.

No, because.

That is the because.

No, because like, I feel like that's a thing that you do where it's like, oh, well, you know, I had that and I pushed them away and bubble like.

Yeah.

But also to acknowledge it wasn't for nothing.

It wasn't like, oh, there was this perfect opportunity and I let it squander.

No, they were doing the too much and they had been doing too much and I let them slide.

But it's okay.

We can move on.

But yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a little pause for a second.

If.

If those of you who have been sitting here listening to this and you have not grabbed your cocktail or your mocktail, now is the time to do so.

Because.

Because ladies.

Ladies and gentlemen, here's what we're doing.

I feel like B to you as.

It just spilled on my leg drizzle.

No.

Thought you wish you were here.

Thought you wish you were a part of this recording.

I'm flexible.

Yeah.

Oh.

So if there was one person right now that if you had the opportunity, like right now on site, like, hey, I see you there to put your dick inside of.

What's their name?

When is their birthday?

Whoa, whoa.

What is his birthday?

Hold please.

It was the 3rd of September.

I'm just texting Keith right now.

Hold on.

Hey, Keith, one second.

What is your birthday?

Have you ever been fucked on cocaine?

Nick.

Random moment.

Something completely off topic, but I would like to experience it within this episode and I hope that you feel the same and that you don't.

Cut it out.

Let's take a quick moment of pause.

Just something really cute, fun and random to name.

Hi there.

Our very favorite moment from one of our very favorite movies.

You go first.

My mother was a real and a junkie and she sold me for $2 and a fix.

So now it's your time.

Take care of me.

I love that for us mine no ain't no misunder.

Yeah.