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Hey, this is Erica Voell.
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Welcome back to Unfolding.
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I am so glad you're here.
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I am a Decision Mentor and Inner
Trust Guide, and I work with smart,
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capable women, often those who are in
midlife, who are stuck in overwhelm
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and overcommitment using human design.
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Coaching and Reiki.
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I help them trust their inner guidance
and understand their unique strengths so
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they can stop saying yes to what drains
them and build a life that actually
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feels sustainable and satisfying.
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My system gives them a grounded plan
that works because it's built for how
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they're designed to operate so we can
clear the noise and then their no feels
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powerful and their yes feels true.
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So a few months ago, a client told me
about a book she was reading, and then a
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friend mentioned one that she was loving.
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And today I opened my inbox to see a coach
recommending a book to her email list that
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she thought was perfect for her clients.
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I will be honest with you, I used
to devour self-help books, personal
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develop books, especially if they
were featured on a podcast I loved.
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I would read six a year.
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But, I had to stop reading them.
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Why?
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Because I started to notice
something happening in me.
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Most of the time.
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I wasn't reading to expand and grow.
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I was really reading to fix something
that I thought was still broken inside me.
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And guess what?
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The very feelings that I was
trying to escape actually got
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louder when I was reading.
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And I would get to the end of the book
and I would be like, that was great.
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And then I would be disappointed
because I couldn't implement it.
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What was I doing wrong?
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Which actually made sense because
those feelings were the reason I had
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picked up the book in the first place.
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That voice in my head that said, "I'm
still not enough, and I still should
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have figured it this out by now."
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And there are some books that have helped.
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I've recommended a few books myself to
other people, even a few to my therapist.
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And I'm currently working on my
relationship with money through one
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that was actually recommended to me,
and it's got some great good nuggets.
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And at the same time, I'm reading
it in a completely different
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way than I used to read them.
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Most of the time I would walk away
with a good nugget after 200 pages.
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But the last time a client
mentioned a book to me that she was
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reading, something clicked for me.
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It is the core issue I have with
the self-help book industry.
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This assumption that you're broken,
that the assumption that there's
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something inside you that needs to
be fixed and that their strategy or
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their system will actually be the thing
that makes you finally feel worthy.
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But what if that strategy
wasn't made for your energy?
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What if it's.
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By following it, you're trying to
force it and you're trying to do
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it their way, and it's the very
thing that's keeping you stuck.
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And it's actually suggesting that
you work against your natural energy.
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I recorded a private podcast episode
about this exact same thing, not to
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shame the books, not to shame the
authors, but to name the subtle harm
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that actually gets missed, that quiet
hunger that we have, that we need
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to be fixing something in our lives.
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We have been conditioned that
there is something wrong with us.
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I mean, think about the diet industry.
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Or even the advertising industry,
there's always something that
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could be better about you.
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Makeup is a perfect example.
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You could fix that one blemish with
this amazing cream, but that belief may
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be that the next book might be the one
that'll finally fix that part of you
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that still feels like you're not enough.
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And before you put that next
recommendation on your library
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hold list or add it to your cart,
I want you to ask yourself, have
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the last few books actually stuck?
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Have they given me
something that I can use?
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And have you implemented that one
thing that you swore you would try?
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Or has it become a distant idea
that's already lost in the pages
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and already lost in your journal.
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You don't need another blueprint.
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You don't need another author's
version of what worthiness looks like.
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You might need to just trust
this version of yourself, the
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version of you that is not broken.
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This idea that you are not broken,
like, oh my gosh, something
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doesn't need to be fixed about me.
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I am whole as I am.
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Like that is a mind blowing thing.
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I still struggle with it with myself.
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And there's the one that
you know is right for you.
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You are, the one who knows what's
true for you, and who is ready to
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stop chasing the fixes that don't fit?
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Let that be enough for now.
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So I want you to just ponder this.
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Think about it like what about you.
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Feels like it still needs to be fixed?
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And maybe there's nothing.
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Maybe you're reading it because you're
truly enjoy just learning about a
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new concept, but I want you to just
pause and think, am I reading this?
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Because I feel like
something needs to be fixed?
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Thank you for joining me.
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If you want to learn more about
your human design, you can
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grab my free confidence guide.
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It's linked in the show notes, and then
you can book your free coaching call with
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me, where we'll explore your chart and
what's coming up for you right now, what's
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working, and maybe where things are off.
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And if you enjoyed this episode,
I would love it if you would tap
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the plus sign to follow the show so
you don't miss what's coming next.
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And if you're feeling generous.
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Leave me a quick review that actually
helps more people find Unfolding.
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I would be so grateful 'cause your
support really means the world to me.
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And if there's someone in your life who
would love these conversations, please
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share it with a friend or colleague.
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Be well and I will talk to you next time.
