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Welcome listeners to this week's Saddle Up segment.
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I am thrilled to have these back.
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I haven't done a saddle up segment for
a long time, and these are generally
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little recaps from Tuesday's episode
and then sometimes they throw in
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a little extra stuff that's more
saddle, upy and saddle up to life.
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Um, but I wanted to let you
know that I had a great podcast.
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With Kimberly Miller who has, um, a
company called Part Wise, go back and
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listen if you wanna learn more about it.
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But you know, she kind of, and we were
talking about how you can choose to
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divorce amicably a lot of the times, and
I'm not saying every time, and I've done.
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You know, longer podcasts on when you
know if you can do a mediation or not.
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But I just wanted to kind of go
through maybe three quick signs.
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'cause you know, these are real short
little segments about when you know,
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um, that you're ready to do it amicably.
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And if you can, and before I
jump to those, I just wanna
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say we know that a mediation.
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Probably isn't gonna work
unless you're represented by
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attorneys going to the mediation.
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If there's any kind of, um, abuse or
you're feeling like you can't, you don't
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have a say or you're afraid to speak
and you need someone to support you.
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And, um, it's often voluntary now.
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Minnesota and certain states, you
do need to go through a mediation
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session prior to going to court.
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Um.
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So that is something to think of.
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But if you are looking at going through
a divorce, I highly recommend doing
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it together, working together on it.
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And I think the best way, I might
be biased, but I think the best way
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to do it is through a mediation.
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There's also a collaborative.
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Law route that you can take.
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And I want you to know you can always,
um, go online to lisa kiski.com
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and schedule a consult with me and I will
help you understand the options for you
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and help you kind of plan out how you're
going to work through your divorce.
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But here are the three
signs that you're ready.
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And the first one is just that you're
more focused on the future than ever.
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So you, and this is what I love about
like coaching, is let's move forward.
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You know, we can, and sometimes
it's hard to jump out of that.
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Your twisting and turning in the
hurt and the confusion in the past.
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You're kind of starting to
feel like I'm ready to move.
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Forward.
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You need to be open to communicate
even if it's hard and it is hard.
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Um, I had a really tough one today
and they did a really good job.
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A really good mediator is going
to help you have the tools to work
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through hard, hard emotions, how
hard feelings, and there's a lot of
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different ways you can, can do that.
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I like to try to keep.
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People using their, um, their muscle
in their brain, and it's hard to use
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that when you get really emotional.
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So there's tools that I use with
people to keep them in that place.
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But if you are ready to do the hard
work, because none of it's easy.
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Divorce isn't easy, but I feel
like this is a better route, so.
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First thing, you're focused
more on the future than revenge.
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The second thing is you're
open to communicate.
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And the third thing is you're
craving like clarity, not chaos.
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You want to be the ones who
are making the decision about
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how you are going to separate.
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You don't want the court or a judge,
or you don't want it to be a surprise.
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You wanna come together.
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Um, you know, a lot of times no one feels
like a winner, but when you work together.
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As I always say, how you end one
thing is how you start another.
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So if you can end it, well
make some compromises.
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It's just gonna catapult
you into a better future.
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And then I just, so those are the three
things, those, that's when you kind of
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know, okay, I'm ready, I'm ready to,
to work through this mediation process.
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If you have kids.
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It's imperative whether you have a
mediator or not, that you learn how to
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work together to not put down the other
parent in front of the children because
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you can help them thrive through this.
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You can build resilience.
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Your kids didn't ask for this,
so do everything you can to
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make this better for them and.
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What I've found through all the
research is it's really very simple
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when kids know that both parents
care for them and love them.
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That's the most important
thing that helps them thrive.
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So, um, just keep that in mind.
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Keep working together
because you can do it.
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I have helped really messy situations
to really hard things and there
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is something that feels so good
when you do it a better way.
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Thanks so much for being here.
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Take good care.