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Episode #127 - The Value Of A Best Friend: An Interview With Melody Taylor
Episode 13226th June 2024 • Speaking From The Heart • Joshua D. Smith
00:00:00 00:51:07

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There is no denying the importance of building relationships with others, especially ones that you can sincerely trust with being able to be there when there are good and bad times. Trusting someone with the utmost importance is key to also becoming the best version of yourself, as you give yourself permission to unlock the hidden potential that you otherwise would never see and have a "sounding board" when difficult conversations need to be had. Wrapping up our month of recognizing individuals that have positively contributed to the start of this podcast, along with the coaching business, Your Speaking Voice LLC, Melody Taylor, a personal best friend of our podcast host, joins us to discuss what it means to not only go through life with three amazing kids, but how being able to help others in their greatest time of need has been a life-changing experience for herself. The importance of having "a bestie" cannot be understated enough, even if that person is there to encourage you to keep going through, no matter what life may throw at you.

Guest Bio

Melody was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A graduate of Cumberland Valley School District, Melody has held multiple administrative positions throughout her career. Presently she is wrapping up supporting parents and their students that attend Commonwealth Charter Academy (CCA), a K-12 Public Cyber Charter School located in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Melody has navigated a variety of different types of situations which include but are not limited to the diagnosis of her brother as autistic, and lingering symptoms of a concussion suffered as a teenager. Throughout her life, Melody’s beliefs about herself were always dictated by what others said and accommodating to their requests. Her recent discovery of her latent abilities have evolved her to provide inspiration to others that seek to find out what they are capable of achieving by having actionable goals and a plan in place to stay accountable. Melody has raised three beautiful children named Lissy, Logan, and Lilianna.

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Melody.Joy.da.Silva

  • Toastmasters International -Home (https://www.toastmasters.org) - Toastmasters is an international organization that has allowed many of my guests to be on the show through personal and professional connection, combining all kinds of different types of communication and leadership development. Learn more about this organization at the link provided, plus check out the "Find A Club" option where you can locate an in-person or virtual club closest to you and your likings!

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Transcripts

Intro:

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 127 of Speaking From the Heart.

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Today wraps up a month of awesome

interviews that I've been doing, not

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only honoring people that have made

positive contributions to starting my

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business, Your Speaking Voice, LLC,

but if it wasn't for them, Speaking

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From the Heart, my podcast that you're

listening to right now, would have never

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existed, and I've saved the very best

for last, because this last individual

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that we are putting on the show today

is my best friend, Melody Taylor, and

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I'm really excited to not only showcase

her, but this interview is something

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that has meant so much to me, and what

has exemplified as a full circle moment,

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which I even say during our interview.

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Melody was born in

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

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A graduate of Cumberland Valley

School District located in South

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Central Pennsylvania, melody

has held multiple administrative

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positions throughout her career.

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Presently, she's wrapping up supporting

parents and their students that

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attend Commonwealth Charter Academy,

better known as CCA, a K through

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12 Public Cyber Charter School

located in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

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Melody has navigated a variety

of different types of situations,

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which include but are not limited

to: the diagnosis of her brother as

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autistic, and lingering symptoms of

a concussion suffered as a teenager.

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Throughout her life, Melody's

beliefs about herself were always

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dictated by what others said, and

accommodating to their request.

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Her recent discovery of her latent

abilities have evolved her to provide

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inspiration to others that seek to

find out what they are capable of

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achieving by having actionable goals

and a plan in place to stay accountable.

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Melody has raised three beautiful children

named Lissy, Logan, and Liliana, and I

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have to say, there's nothing that gets

more personal, more involved than anything

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that you might ever do, which is having

your best friend on your own podcast.

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Now, I can't tell you how many people

probably would ever do this, but I

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thought it was so important for me to

not only showcase why Melody has made

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such a huge contribution to me, but

at the very end, there are things that

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I say that make me feel like I have

goosebumps running through me, but it

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just demonstrates to you the power of

friendship, and the value that it could

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bring no matter where you're at in life.

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But with that, let's go to the episode.

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Alright, we're here with Melody Taylor.

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Melody, thanks for sharing

your heart with us today.

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Melody: No problem.

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Thanks so much for finally

having me on here, bestie!

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Joshua: Absolutely, and I have to say for

my listeners, this is a moment for me in

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which I think I feel like I've came full

circle because I said to Melody, who I've

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known for many years, that I don't know

where this podcast was going to take me,

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and I also didn't know where this would

land, because I even said this to you.

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You might even remember a little bit

of this, but I thought this was going

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to be like a three month experiment.

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I know I was doing it for some reason

that I wanted to get my voice out there,

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but little did I know, and little did

we both know, because you shared in some

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of the pre -discussion about some of

the episodes that I was even doing that

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I don't know if I was going to make it,

but here I am and I'm recording a episode

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with you, so thanks so much for doing this

with me, and before I even say anything

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else for my listeners, I've known Melody.

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She has been somebody that has been

the biggest support for me in not

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only everything that I've done with

my business, but also with this

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project, so I have to tell you straight

out, thank you for everything that

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you've done for me up to this point.

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Melody: You're trying to make me cry

already, but I just have to say for the

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record, I believed in you from the get go.

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I had no doubt, no question in my mind.

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This was your calling.

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This is where you belonged, and I

am so happy to have seen you grow

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and blossom through all of this.

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It has been absolutely incredible.

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Joshua: Well, thanks for that, so

Melody, I've let the listeners know a

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little bit about your background, but

I wanted to jump into the fact that you

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were born in Philadelphia, and I did not

know this, and we went back and forth

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quite a bit about it because I didn't

even know even after I'd known you for

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over a decade, so maybe you can tell

our listeners a little bit about why

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Philadelphia, and why you now live in

Mechanicsburg, because I know there's been

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a lot of different movement in your life.

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Melody: Yes.

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I would like to say West

Philadelphia born and raised on the

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playground is where I spent most

of my days, but that's not true.

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My family is all from Philadelphia.

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That is where I was born.

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My older two brothers were born there.

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My parents were.

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I actually was born at home

on a Wednesday evening.

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My dad was a pastor and he had to miss

prayer meeting, but my parents had no

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insurance, so I was born at home, and

I think when I was four, we moved to

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Michigan for a little over a year for

my dad's job, and then that brought

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him back to the Mechanicsburg area, so

I lived at Mechanicsburg, Camp Hill.

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When I got married, I lived in

Shiremanstown, and then I also moved to

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Illinois for six years and four months.

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I moved back, and I was in New Cumberland.

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I've been all over the place here, a lot

of moves, and staying with my parents

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in between every single one of them.

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They just keep bringing me

back as a boomerang child.

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Joshua: Well, there's nothing wrong with

that, and I have to say that I lived with

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my parents up until my mid twenties, at

most, because I was trying to get a stable

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footing and a job and all of that, so I

feel like that's sort of been what our

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generation has gone through, trying to

figure out where that level of stability

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is, so I can completely understand that.

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With moving back and forth, I mean,

I know I've had guests on the show

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that have talked about those sort

of experiences and trying to feel

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like they have a sense of belonging.

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Did you ever have time to like settle into

any of these places, and feel like you

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were at home, or how was that dynamic?

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Melody: Honestly, I have always

felt like I've been at home close to

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my parents and close to my family.

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I moved to Illinois when I was only

married for- I believe about eight

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months, and that was miserable for me.

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I was more depressed than I had

ever been in my entire life.

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I cried every day.

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It was awful, and I felt so secluded from

my family and my husband at the time,

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when he lost his job there, on Valentine's

Day, ironically, that was the best thing

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to ever happen because it brought me

back to my parents, and even though I

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feel like I've been moving around there

in a house and renting a house, and then

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buying a house, and then moving back in

with my parents, and building a house, and

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moving back in with my parents, and all

of this, just being close to my parents

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has felt the most at home, and I have

three children, so it is very important

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for me to have that support from them.

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That really is the only family that I

have, other than my brother and sister

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in law that also live with my parents,

but that's the only family I have, and

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that is where I feel the most connected.

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Joshua: I feel that, for me, I missed out

on a big part of my life with not being

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able to stay really much in touch with

my parents because they live in Oley.

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For my listeners, Oley is in

Berks County in Pennsylvania.

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It's about a hundred mile distance,

between, which translate roughly to

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an hour and a half, hour 45, so I feel

like I've lost a lot of that connection

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and trying to stay in touch, so it

is really comforting to kind of hear

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from you, being able to reconnect and

being able to provide that sort of,

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not only support system, but you know

that they're always there for you too.

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Melody: When I came back to the area,

I was still in contact with one of

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my best friends from high school,

and that's how I met you at game

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night, and that was one of the first

things that I did when I came back.

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He invited me to go to game night,

so I could reconnect with people that

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I knew before, meet new people, and

that's where I finally felt like,

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"Okay, I can settle here.", because

in Illinois, I never felt settled.

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I never felt like I belonged.

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It was an awful experience, but

I brought it upon myself as well,

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just because I did not like it.

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I didn't feel comfortable.

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Just coming back here to my roots has

been really life changing for me, and

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some days I still do regret ever leaving,

but I know I did learn a lot of lessons

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on that, and my big lesson is I never

want to leave my parents ever again.

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Joshua: Well, I think that many parents

were probably cringing at that last

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sentence because they're like, "No,

I don't want to ever come back.", but

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sometimes that doesn't work out the

way it does for a variety of reasons,

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but, you said something about finding

yourself and feeling like you are living

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that life with being able to get back

on stable footing and all those things.

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I'm wondering if you can talk a little

bit about ,what are some of the things

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that have changed for you as a result of

not only maybe moving back in, but maybe

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what has allowed you to discover about

yourself that you didn't see before?

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Melody: Well, I did go through

a lot and this is something

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that I still deal with now.

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I actually have traumatic brain injury

from I had a concussion when I was in

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11th grade where I was out of school

for half of the year, and I wasn't

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able to go back full time in my senior

year, and then I had a car crash a few

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years ago where my car was totaled.

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Somebody ran a red light, and

I had a concussion from that.

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Honestly, I don't think that people

expected me to be able to walk out of that

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car, alive, the way that things looked,

but that car protected me, and all of

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that, and numerous other things that have

gone on in my life, simple things like,

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I had a running accident when my youngest

was a newborn, and my parents were

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always there supporting me and helping

me stay on my feet, and they, they have

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just been amazing, and so many times I

have had to come back to them, and that

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honestly is where a lot of the support

has been also getting into Toastmasters,

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thanks to you, has definitely helped me.

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It has definitely helped me.

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I know I need to do more with that, but

I feel like I've really struggled to

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have a voice, and to speak up for myself

and with the traumatic brain injury,

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and my memory is sometimes really awful.

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I have episodes of really big regression

and it does come around stress and

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there's a lot of stress in my life right

now, but I feel like Toastmasters has

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also helped me to gain some footing in

there, and also just to make me feel

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human, and real, and knowing that I'm

not among a bunch of people that are

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all perfect, and speaking perfectly, and

have this great mannerisms of every sort.

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I just feel like I've been able to learn

from them how to be human and how to put

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my story together, and encourage others,

and just being real with other people.

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That is a huge thing for me.

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I'm very adamant about being

real, not sugarcoating, not making

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everybody think my life is perfect.

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It's not.

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It sucks.

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A lot of stuff sucks, but I feel like

that helps to connect with people, and for

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people to feel comfortable connecting with

me when they see that I'm going through

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things and, I'm very open about it.

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Joshua: For those that are new to my

show and don't know what Toastmasters is,

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we spent a lot of time in the beginning

talking about what that has meant.

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We had a lot of guests on the show

relating to that, and if you're ever

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interested in checking out a local

Toastmasters club, whether it's virtually

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or in person, I'll put a link in the

episode notes so you can go and check

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that out, because, not only, Melody,

do I agree with you, because I know

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I introduced you to it, and you were

kicking and screaming about it, but

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at the same time you embraced it after

a while because you saw what those

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intended/unintended benefits are.

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I think that it helps to foster that

community of people and helps us to

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learn in an environment that is safe

and positive in nature, which is what

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Toastmasters really provides, but

the thing about providing that safe

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atmosphere, that positivity, I feel

like there's a connection there between

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your parents and even the people that

you have met through that organization,

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and even friends that you have.

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Outside of me, because I know that

we've been friends for a long time.

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Is there somebody that you really

want to give a shout out to, or maybe

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acknowledge as somebody that's been

really a big help for you over the

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last several years that maybe has made

a positive contribution into creating

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that best version of who you are?

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Melody: I absolutely have to give a

shout out to my best friend, Sarah.

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I call her Unicorn Sarah.

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We have matching tattoos.

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We have a lot of similarities in life and

it is somebody that I'm able to just be

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real with, and she can be real with me,

and our lives are messy, and we go through

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periods of time without talking, but if

either of us have something going on that

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we just need to bounce off the other,

or just vent, or just say, "Hey, this is

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really, really hard.", we're always there

for each other, and if something big is

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going on that we just need another adult

in our presence, I'll go over to her.

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She'll come over to me.

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We'll meet at a coffee shop or

whatever, and she has been so

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instrumental in helping me just to

feel more normal and to feel connected

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and just having that camaraderie.

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Obviously, you're my bestie.

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You're my bestie.

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Joshua: And yes, folks, we do call each

other besties every time that we see

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each other, so it's definitely never a

dull moment between her and I, and I have

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to ask this because with you mentioning

Sarah, which obviously I've known Sarah

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for a few years now myself because of that

mutual connection, you've said something

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that strikes me about meeting people

with wherever they got going on, whether

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you have something that goes really

bad or something that's really good.

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Do you feel that the bad moments, because

you were talking about depression, anxiety

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earlier, which I know that our stories

are intertwined when it comes to that.

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I've had John Schuchman on the show,

and we talked about that experience

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that night about what had happened, and

we were talking about you and how you

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reached out too, to make sure everything

was fine about my situation itself.

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Do you think it's really important to

have those people, whether it's just

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a few dozen, or maybe even just one,

to reach out to, to feel like you are

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okay and things are going to be better?

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I mean, do you think that

it's really important, and

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if so, why do you think that?

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Melody: Definitely, and this is

something that we tell each other.

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We often find ourselves

apologizing to the other.

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We say, "We know that you have a lot

going on, but I just need to vent about

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something.", but we are just always

there for each other in those moments,

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and we make sure to tell each other

that even if I have a lot going on, if

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you need me, even if I can't respond

right away, send me a voice message.

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We've both had issues where we have just

literally wanted to run away, or having

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horrible thoughts, and we make sure that

we are able to open up to each other

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about things like that, just to have

this feeling of safety of like, "Okay.

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Somebody knows what I'm going through.

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They understand.

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They acknowledge.", and I feel like

that's just been really helpful just to

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know when I do have a lot, when I have

things going on, and I have a lot going

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on with my children; a whole lot of

things, that she's always somebody that

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will listen and she'll be like, "Yeah.

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You don't have to apologize,

because I know I have a lot going

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on, but so do you.", and we have a

lot of similarities in our lives.

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Our lives intertwined in some of the

strangest ways, but it just helps us to be

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able to understand each other even more.

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Joshua: I think that mutual connection

with what you said, how that all stringed

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together, is sometimes the weird ways in

which life works, and even so, sometimes

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dealing with that, and how we handle

it and process it, are completely big

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things, and you even mentioned that with

even the things that you've suffered

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as concussions throughout your life.

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I want to pivot a little bit, because

this is actually a fascinating part

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about your life that not many people

really understand or know much about,

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which is not only the fact that you

have three kids, but those three kids

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actually go to Commonwealth Charter

Academy, CCA, and for my listeners that

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are not part of Pennsylvania, that is

a- well not really a company, I should

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really call it a school in itself, it

is, that allows for in home instruction,

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so being able to virtually attend

school, so there's no physical building.

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They do meet occasionally with different

places as field trips, and even activities

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that they collaborate on, but all the

instruction is done virtually, so how

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is it like to be able to have your

kids enrolled in public cyber charter

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school, because I know that I've had a

few guests on the show that I've talked

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about this, being able to virtually

instruct, but nobody quite like you that

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has been able to really embrace it, and

I know you've been a big advocate for

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it, so I'm wondering if you can talk

a little bit about those experiences,

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raising three kids through that.

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Melody: Absolutely.

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Now I have been doing CCA;

this is my eighth year.

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I have a first grader and a fourth grader

and a seventh grader and we have done

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CCA since kindergarten for all of them.

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Just this year, I was a family mentor

for CCA, which means basically I

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was helping new families that were

just recently enrolled, to navigate

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through their first year and offer

them support and just helping them

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to know that they're not alone, and

this is something that I have been so

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passionate about for years, because it

has worked tremendously for our family.

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It has really taught independence,

especially for my oldest, my 13 year

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old, she has been doing school on

her own, without hardly any help

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for a few years now, especially it

is important for my fourth grader.

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My fourth grader, Logan, he has ADHD,

autism, sensory processing disorder,

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emotional disturbance, among other

things, and my younger brother was

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diagnosed with autism in his thirties,

and he had a very bad experience in the

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public school system, and a very big

advocate of me having my kids in CCA,

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and I'm getting so much support for him.

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Things are not easy at all.

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There are some days that I am in tears.

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I literally want to run away, but I just

keep thinking of the alternative and

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because he has a lot of behavior issues.

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He would more than likely be

kicked out of a public school.

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Most other places that we go, he acts

up and he has been kicked out of other

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places, so I feel like it is so important

to be able to have him home with me.

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I am monitoring him when he does act up.

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I'm seeing it, and I'm not just getting a

phone call or a report later saying, "Oh,

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he did this...", or I'm not wondering what

did the teacher do to him if he did start

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to get violent, and I don't have to worry

about his safety because I am right there

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and I see it, and it has been a struggle,

obviously, because obviously, if I would

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just send my kids to school, I would have

so much more free time during the day, but

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I wouldn't trade it, because I feel like

they are getting an excellent education.

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I am in the forefront of it.

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I am in communication with the teachers.

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I'm seeing them every day.

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We are attending field trips.

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We have some friends that we've made

through CCA that we do extra things

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with that aren't even with CCA, and it's

just been an awesome community to be a

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part of, and now also being a contracted

worker and helping other families has

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just been awesome, but I can't imagine

doing anything else, and I'm hoping it

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is my goal that all of my kids stay with

CCA until graduation because it's just

311

:

working so well for us, and like I said,

being a mentor, I get to hear stories from

312

:

other parents, and that is what I love.

313

:

When I can relate with them, and they

can tell me the experience that they

314

:

might've had in a public school, or a

child with autism that wasn't supported

315

:

fully, and just seeing how happy they are

with the experience here, and just being

316

:

able to give some personal tidbits of

information, and just talk about, "Yes.

317

:

We've been through the IEP process.

318

:

We've been through all of the testing.",

and it just really helps to connect

319

:

with some of my parents, some of

my families, to see how this is an

320

:

excellent, excellent way of education.

321

:

I always say it doesn't

work for everybody.

322

:

There are some kids that do belong

in the classroom and that is how they

323

:

thrive and they're just perfectly fine.

324

:

My kids have never had an issue

of wanting to even try public

325

:

school because they realize, "Hey!

326

:

I can sleep in a little.

327

:

I can be in my pajamas.

328

:

We can go for a walk between classes.

329

:

When the pool is open, we could just

go to the pool after classes are

330

:

done.", so it's been awesome for us.

331

:

Joshua: You mentioned something

earlier about your son, and about the

332

:

situation that he's going through.

333

:

Can you tell us a little bit about

some of the things that you do to help

334

:

cope with that, because I know that

there are probably parents out there

335

:

listening to this, that are just at

wit's end in terms of trying to figure

336

:

out how to self contain that, because

you and I have even talked about this.

337

:

I had a late stage diagnosis

myself of autism, and it was never

338

:

supported whatsoever, so you and

I have had a lot of conversations.

339

:

You and your brother essentially have

helped a lot with probably figuring

340

:

out some of the things that I didn't

even realize about it, but I'm

341

:

wondering if you have some helpful

advice for anybody out there that

342

:

is struggling with something similar

as to what you've been experiencing.

343

:

Melody: Seeking help and

being open about things.

344

:

Just like I said earlier, how I love

to be open, and it helps to open

345

:

up the conversation with others.

346

:

I have had so many people reach out to

me and say, "Hey, my child deals with

347

:

the same thing.", and then just being

able to support each other, being part of

348

:

neurodivergent groups, on Facebook, that

has been really helpful and even just

349

:

trying to get the right kind of help.

350

:

Now, getting help for a child like this

is not easy with the system, and it takes

351

:

a lot of patience, and it takes a lot

of persistence to get the help that you

352

:

need for your child, but don't give up,

and also just stopping, and thinking, and

353

:

knowing, their brain style is different.

354

:

They're not going to act and behave

the same way that a neurotypical child

355

:

will, and that's something that I

have to remind myself of often, that

356

:

sometimes he's not trying to do this.

357

:

He doesn't want to act out like this, but

this is how his brain is working, and I

358

:

need to just try whatever tactics , . And

one tactic that I use with him a lot that

359

:

does help is I hold onto him gently, and

we talk about things that we can change,

360

:

things that we cannot change, and what

we can do about it, and then we discussed

361

:

that, and then we talk about doing a 180,

where we will physically turn around, not

362

:

in a full circle, but doing a 180, and

that is a way of demonstrating, "Okay.

363

:

I have thought about what is going on.

364

:

I know that I can't change what

I'm upset about, but this is what

365

:

I can change in effect, and now I'm

turning around, and I'm going to

366

:

just act completely different.",

and so that's what he uses now.

367

:

When we talk about when he's having

an episode of a fit, I will say,

368

:

"What do you think you need to do?"

369

:

He knows he needs to make a

180, and so that's what we do.

370

:

Joshua: Can't tell you how many times

you and I have talked about making

371

:

180s, so we didn't really talk about

it in that concept, but it's the truth.

372

:

We have all have had to make some

180 adjustments in both our lives to

373

:

kind of get to where we're at now,

and the work is never done either.

374

:

I think you and I have even had those

conversations about how we can work

375

:

through goals and how we can figure out

how to be accountable for those goals,

376

:

and you're teaching that to your kids,

which is admirable, because a lot of

377

:

the things that we go through in life,

sometimes we don't have that role model.

378

:

One of my guests have even mentioned

about the impact of being able to have

379

:

that support system all the time, so you

mentioned something though, that really

380

:

is not only an important aspect of why we

go through not only having kids in school,

381

:

but also why virtual works for you.

382

:

I'm interested by the fact that

you want to help other parents

383

:

that are exploring this option.

384

:

How has that been being able to

be able to work with parents that

385

:

have millions of questions, because

they didn't grow up in that?

386

:

I mean, the concept of a virtual cyber

school did not exist not all that long

387

:

ago, and even for people that grew up in

the school system, this is a completely

388

:

different sort of aspect that when they

have kids, this is a whole new adventure,

389

:

so what are some common things that you've

been asked as somebody exploring that?

390

:

Melody: Okay.

391

:

A lot of people think that it is

antisocial, that it is like being

392

:

a homeschooler that doesn't get

out and they just stay at home,

393

:

and that is just not the case.

394

:

It is what you make it, and that is

why I'm so passionate about it, because

395

:

at least with this cyber school,

there are a lot of options to interact

396

:

with others, even in the classroom.

397

:

The teachers will, in the Zoom room,

do a little breakout room for the

398

:

students, or the learners, to talk with

each other, talk about their weekend,

399

:

and they develop friendships that way.

400

:

That is definitely one of the biggest

things that I have some families

401

:

coming into CCA saying, "I don't

know about this, because my kid is

402

:

rarely social.", and I say, "Yeah.

403

:

Mine is too.", and we have

just been able to work with

404

:

it where we're at field trips.

405

:

We're meeting up with people.

406

:

They're able to talk with their

teachers more than I feel like they

407

:

would one on one in a public school

as well, like my son who needs a

408

:

little bit of extra assistance.

409

:

He can very quickly send a

chat message to his teacher and

410

:

say, "Hey, can you help me?"

411

:

They'll open up a zoom room and

they'll help him, which is another

412

:

awesome thing, so I think that some

parents don't really understand

413

:

that it really is what you make it.

414

:

It is not antisocial.

415

:

It is not just a homebody, and this

school offers so many field trips

416

:

throughout the year, all over the place.

417

:

Last year, I took my three kiddos

to Pittsburgh, twice, because

418

:

there was a field trip there.

419

:

There was a teacher we wanted to meet.

420

:

I just booked a hotel and we made a whole

few days out of it, and that was awesome.

421

:

The second time we actually went

with another CCA family, and we were

422

:

able to connect with them there, and

it was awesome, so that's something

423

:

that I like to let the new parents

know that there are definitely ways.

424

:

You just have to get yourself involved

a little bit, but once the children

425

:

connect and become friends, you

become friends with the parents.

426

:

You're connecting.

427

:

You're seeing each other at field trips,

and you're making those connections,

428

:

and it might not be exactly the same as

sitting in a classroom all day, but it is

429

:

out in real life and that's what my kids

love to do is just be part of different

430

:

things, and different kind of experiences,

that are part of the school day and

431

:

instead of sitting in a classroom all day.

432

:

Joshua: You've mentioned a lot in

the last several minutes about what

433

:

your kids have been through in terms

of being part of the CCA experience.

434

:

You've mentioned even earlier about

your experiences just moving around and

435

:

really kind of feel like you're that

boomerang kid and having to adapt and to

436

:

adjust to all these moving expectations,

dealing with the concussion, dealing

437

:

with all kinds of other life events.

438

:

My final question is really this.

439

:

What keeps you going?

440

:

What makes you strong to keep

persevering, because I know for

441

:

people like just being able to deal

with the daily and even raising three

442

:

kids, which in itself is amazing.

443

:

I've always said this to you.

444

:

I don't know how you do it sometimes,

even myself, because like, I would freak

445

:

out over one kid, and you know that I

don't have any kids, but at the same

446

:

time, I'm dealing with a lot of those

things that I'm working through to

447

:

become the best version of even myself

is even as I build being a coach, but

448

:

what inspires you to keep going, Melody?

449

:

Melody: Honestly, what keeps me going is

I have a boyfriend now that I have known

450

:

since eighth grade, and just recently

reconnected with him over a 20 year high

451

:

school reunion, and some days, that's

what keeps me going is having somebody

452

:

to support me in my life like that,

that I haven't been supported in the

453

:

same way before, and somebody who has a

lot of similarities in life to me, and

454

:

just knowing that I do have somebody who

genuinely cares, and I can bounce things

455

:

off of, and I find it odd, but that really

does help me sometimes get through each

456

:

day is just knowing that I have somebody

like that and I didn't for a very, very,

457

:

very long time, and so it's interesting

for my youngest daughter to say, "Mom.

458

:

He makes you too happy.",

and I say, "Okay.

459

:

Well, good.

460

:

I'm glad.

461

:

That's a really good thing.", but that,

just adding him into my support system,

462

:

is kind of what keeps me going, and

knowing that I can't give up for my kids.

463

:

Even though some days I really honestly

want to, and I have really down days where

464

:

I just cry and I just want to escape.

465

:

I cry a lot.

466

:

Josh can tell you this.

467

:

I have purchased extra tissues for

his office because I cry so much,

468

:

but just knowing that I have people

depending on me too, and I have to keep

469

:

going for them and I have to see my kids

through, especially to success rather

470

:

than just completely giving up on them.

471

:

Joshua: We all have that motivation in

our life, and I think even you and I

472

:

have talked about this off and on for

12 years, where I feel like sometimes

473

:

it's about not only figuring out what

it means to have that purpose, which I

474

:

often say to various people that come

through my business, but it's also about

475

:

figuring out what keeps us going, and one

thing that I have to point out for our

476

:

listeners, because I know that they can't

see this, it's all audio, is that you

477

:

have the tattoo on your arm of "Continue."

478

:

I think that you continue no matter what

those obstacles are, which many people

479

:

would have given up, maybe like you said,

they would have just thrown in the towel.

480

:

You haven't.

481

:

You keep figuring the things out and

you keep on making those things happen,

482

:

but I have to say, if it wasn't for

you, I wouldn't be able to continue.

483

:

I wouldn't have never been a success with

what I've continued to build, and although

484

:

I know, personally, and you know this

too, that I have so much more work yet to

485

:

do, what makes this really impactful for

me is that if it wasn't for you, there

486

:

would be no Speaking From The Heart.

487

:

There would be no Your Speaking Voice.

488

:

There would be no Josh Smith, literally,

and I don't know what that means in the

489

:

future with what I got on my heart and on

my cards, but I will say to you, Melody,

490

:

that if it wasn't for you, I would not

be half the person that I am today.

491

:

I really mean that because you were there

when the darkest times were happening,

492

:

and even after that, how many times there

have been some dark moments for me too,

493

:

and I think that if it wasn't for your

courage, and you carrying that, despite

494

:

just talking it through, I would not be

a perfect person, which I'm not, and I

495

:

think that it makes me perfect in the

sense that it makes me feel like I can

496

:

work on things in my life that now I

have some of those tools that I didn't

497

:

have before, and that is a sense of

working towards that sort of perfection.

498

:

Knowing that I'm not going to be perfect,

but know that I'm able to work on it.

499

:

You're doing the work, you're

making it happen, and for all

500

:

those reasons, Melody, thanks for

being on Speaking From the Heart.

501

:

It was really not just an honor and a

privilege as I always tell my guests, but

502

:

this interview is a little bit different

for me, in that personally, you are one

503

:

of those people that are the reason why

this even exists in the first place,

504

:

so thank you for always supporting me

and making me feel like I'm part of

505

:

this experience in what's called life.

506

:

Melody: And right back at you.

507

:

Honestly, I know I wasn't supposed to

brag on you this whole time, but you have

508

:

been that one for me and that's why I just

feel like I have to reciprocate it to you.

509

:

There's been times where I have been in

a horrible, horrible space and I just

510

:

FaceTime you bawling and you're able to

help me to breathe through things until

511

:

I can speak, and you're not judging me,

and I just want to thank you, because

512

:

you have been so instrumental in my life,

and you are one of those people I know

513

:

that I could always count on no matter

what you're going through and I always

514

:

want to be there for you, no matter what

it takes, if I am coming to your work

515

:

to sit next to you on the step outside

while you cry, that's what I want to do.

516

:

If I-

517

:

Joshua: And that has happened, folks.

518

:

Yes.

519

:

Melody: If I have to come into your office

after you have a flood, I will do that.

520

:

Joshua: And that also has happened, folks,

and that's a whole other story in itself.

521

:

Melody: Yes.

522

:

Yes, but I feel like it's something

that I just owe you, because you

523

:

have helped me in so many ways over

the years, and I wouldn't be where

524

:

I'm at now, if it wasn't for you.

525

:

Joshua: You never owed me anything, nor

do you owe anybody else except yourself,

526

:

the awesome gifts that you have and to

keep embracing that, and just finding

527

:

who you are, and you're doing that, and

I really do appreciate that Melody, so

528

:

again, thanks for being part of the show.

529

:

Melody: Thanks for having me.

530

:

Joshua: I don't know what to say.

531

:

This is one of the first times

that I wrapped up an interview,

532

:

and I feel completely speechless.

533

:

It is almost a feeling as if I've come

full circle, not only in everything that

534

:

I've been doing, to get to this point

in my career, not only on this earth,

535

:

but to know that there are people like

Melody that have been there, every step

536

:

of the way, but yet, at the same time,

didn't even realize what they provide to

537

:

others that makes such a big difference,

and it's funny, because even after this

538

:

recording of this interview, Melody has

gone through so many different things in

539

:

her life that I hope that when she listens

to this, even as she continues to listen

540

:

to this for years to come, she is reminded

of the fact that her unbelievable power

541

:

that she has, just as much as the power

that you have, my listeners, in being

542

:

able to take a story just like hers,

and transform it into such unlimited

543

:

potential, should demonstrate to you

the ability for you to be able to create

544

:

not only the best versions of yourself,

but ultimately, accomplish anything

545

:

that you could do through the power

of friendship, because let's face it.

546

:

Melody and I would have never been able

to meet in the circumstances that we

547

:

had if it wasn't for the fact that many,

many years ago, I even challenged the

548

:

status quo by moving out, and was one

of the best decisions I have ever made,

549

:

in order for me to grow, but to also

evolve, but also at the same time, knowing

550

:

that some things happen for a reason.

551

:

This pre-determined meeting of Melody

and I, turned into something that I would

552

:

have never thought would support even my

business, let alone this very show for

553

:

that matter, because let's face it, moving

around with various types of individuals

554

:

and having all kinds of different types

of support system might not be feeling

555

:

very good, especially with all the things

that you might have going on in your life.

556

:

People sometimes make you feel crappy,

and other people sometimes make you

557

:

feel happy, but yet, when you go through

all these various obstacles that you

558

:

might have in your life, and maybe

they are dealt with all kinds of people

559

:

that you have to work with, whether

they are teachers or administrators,

560

:

or maybe even somebody else, you have

to realize that there are different

561

:

ways in which we can overcome the

obstacles that we have in our lives.

562

:

We have to be able to find niches,

or even places for that matter,

563

:

that we can find our voice, but

do you struggle to have a voice?

564

:

Do you regress on having a

voice, because you're afraid

565

:

of what that outcome might be?

566

:

It can make such a big difference in

terms of what is going on in our lives,

567

:

not only to raise our children, not

only to go through adulthood, maybe even

568

:

take care of our elder parents, but the

next time that you meet someone in a

569

:

coffee shop to have an experience that

you never thought you would ever have,

570

:

are you going to have that conversation

move you forward, or move you back?

571

:

I think that the people that you even

sit down for coffee with, can have such a

572

:

profound effect on the ways in which you

support yourself; how you raise others

573

:

dictates how you will be treated too, even

your own children, even the people that

574

:

you associate with, so what can you do?

575

:

How you can provide support in these

different areas is truly an important

576

:

aspect, but let's face it, with all

the people that we've had on this

577

:

show this month, which include John

Schuchman, Michael Dugan, and Brittany

578

:

and Corey Hart, all have said things

that are all tied together, even this

579

:

very interview with Melody today.

580

:

It's relationships, and it's the

relationships that help us to learn

581

:

and grow and connect that make such

a big difference, especially when

582

:

we need that extra support the most,

but there's something that Melody's

583

:

journey really provided for me, when

our journeys collided together, and

584

:

it is the topic of neurodivergence.

585

:

Now, I have to be real with you is that

Melody actually connected me with some

586

:

of my other previous guests that I've

had on this show already, which include

587

:

Leann Firestone and Erin McNamara.

588

:

If it wasn't for these individuals, I

wouldn't even have had them as guests,

589

:

even having the conversations that

I had in both of those interviews

590

:

allowed me to figure out why I

really like working with Melody as a

591

:

best friend, because let's face it.

592

:

Neurodivergence, what I struggle with

the most, has provided me with so many

593

:

different types of opportunities, but

it's also provided me with a lot of

594

:

pain, but I turn that pain into purpose,

while some people, not necessarily naming

595

:

names or even picking on people, don't

know how to best move forward from that.

596

:

You need to have patience and persistence,

which is why I love that Melody talks

597

:

about her children, especially those

that need that extra assistance.

598

:

I have learned to respect a lot better

why those differences are so valuable,

599

:

because I did not know what that meant

to actually be neurodivergent until it

600

:

happened to me a little over a year ago

now, but what are the physical hints?

601

:

What is it that you're trying

to do that will help you to keep

602

:

moving that relationship forward,

especially when you need those

603

:

people the most to help lean on you?

604

:

To help push you forward?

605

:

That's what friends are for, and

Melody did all of those things for me.

606

:

If she wasn't there for me, in the

very beginning, I would have closed up

607

:

this business in a heartbeat, because

I thought that maybe I was doing

608

:

the right thing, but there have been

many different times in which I've

609

:

sat and cried, and cried, and cried,

wondering why I made the choices that

610

:

I did, but Melody reminds me of the

importance of it is what you make it.

611

:

I could have made my life

full of all kinds of different

612

:

opportunities, but at the same time.

613

:

if I remained antisocial, especially

if I never tried to make inwards into

614

:

why I was feeling the way I was, I

would be half the person that I am

615

:

today, and it's because of friendships

that have made such a big difference.

616

:

You can explore.

617

:

You can have opportunities

that work alongside of you.

618

:

You can make this happen for yourself

too, but the main important point of

619

:

this is, and the question that we're

really aiming at answering today, is how

620

:

and who has helped you to support those

similarities so that you don't give up?

621

:

So that you keep pushing forward?

622

:

So that you know that you always

will have a best friend that will

623

:

help you, no matter what happens?

624

:

It's very hard to record this

last portion of this amazing month

625

:

for a lot of different reasons.

626

:

Melody has meant so much to me, in

ways in which you, my listeners,

627

:

will never understand, and sure, some

people will speculate that maybe I

628

:

have some sort of relationship with her

outside of just being a best friend,

629

:

but that isn't what this is about.

630

:

If you are really understanding what

I mean when you have somebody that you

631

:

just connect with, and you know that they

are there to support you no matter what.

632

:

It goes beyond what any sort

of human instinct might think.

633

:

It challenges what you might even

believe that is really important about

634

:

what life is, because sometimes we just

need people that are there, no matter

635

:

what, to cry on with their shoulder, to

just listen to, to just hold your hand

636

:

and just say that it's okay, things

are going to get better, and even when

637

:

people are so mean and downright nasty,

you can talk to them, and they won't

638

:

hold a grudge, or they won't befuddle

you with all kinds of other comments

639

:

that might otherwise be considered

inappropriate in some other circles.

640

:

To be truthful, Melody knows things about

my life that, even for myself, I didn't

641

:

realize that I knew I had a problem with,

and she identified with it many years ago.

642

:

That is the kind of

relationship that we have.

643

:

That is the reason why I keep coming

back, knowing that Melody's going to

644

:

point those things out to me, and if

you don't have somebody in your life

645

:

today that is not willing to do that

for you, and you think that they are

646

:

supposed to be doing that, and you still

hang around them, it's time to rethink

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:

your position, ladies and gentlemen,

as to whether that friendship is really

648

:

important, because value matters.

649

:

Quality matters.

650

:

It isn't about quantity.

651

:

It isn't about your followers.

652

:

It isn't about what you think are

really the most important things in

653

:

life, because the most important things

boil down to who will be there when all

654

:

things go to hell, and mass chaos ensues.

655

:

Melody and John, both together, came

to save my life over four years ago.

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:

I don't know if you ever had somebody in

your life that would go to great lengths,

657

:

especially if you were down in the dumps,

homeless, maybe even having other sort of

658

:

situations play out: medical, physical,

whatever they might be, but if you don't

659

:

have a friend, like I just interviewed

today on my show, you need to rethink

660

:

your position today, because let's be

real, if it wasn't for people like her, I

661

:

would not be who I am, so I want to take,

one more time, the last few minutes to

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:

talk to my best friend Melody, and for

my listeners that are listening to this,

663

:

I want you to hear what I have to say to

her because I think that it serves as an

664

:

important guidepost for us to explore,

even if in a coaching environment,

665

:

why it's important to say these things

that are on our hearts and minds.

666

:

Melody.

667

:

This part of the episode is for you.

668

:

I know that down the road you will be

listening to this, and you will be such

669

:

a changed woman, in ways in which not

only are you raising three healthy kids,

670

:

not only will you have somebody in your

life that you will be able to love and

671

:

respect, but I want you to know that

you and your family have helped me, and

672

:

have changed me, and that you've made

me whole, as a human being, as a male

673

:

figure, for somebody else that I know I

will meet in my life that I will be able

674

:

to enjoy the pleasure of helping them

see the best versions of who they are.

675

:

If it wasn't for you, I would

not be the winner of so many

676

:

different parts of my life now.

677

:

I would not be overcoming some of

the obstacles that I have let stand

678

:

in my way for so long, but more

importantly, that you had a voice in

679

:

a part of my life that I needed to

have, and I love how far you've come.

680

:

You have helped me where other people

would have never been able to help.

681

:

You have created value where you might

have never even realized that value needed

682

:

to be created, but more importantly,

above all else, you are the epitome of

683

:

what it means to have a friend that will

stand by you, through thick and thin,

684

:

whether you absolutely hated me or not.

685

:

I want you to know that I love you, best

friend, and that you matter the most.

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:

You are becoming the best

version of yourself, and I

687

:

love what you are becoming.

688

:

Never give up.

689

:

Never feel that you are worthless, but

more importantly, don't ever lose that God

690

:

given opportunity that you've been given,

because you are becoming not just the best

691

:

version of yourself, but the best version

for others, to help you see the light that

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:

is so ahead of you in many different ways.

693

:

I want to thank all those that have

been part of this amazing set of

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:

episodes this month, and I especially

want to thank you, the listeners, for

695

:

allowing me to share this with you.

696

:

I hope that these five guests, overall,

have been able to help you see not only

697

:

that anybody can help you become better

for who you are, but for what you are able

698

:

to create in your own life for the future.

699

:

Thanks for listening to episode

number 127 of Speaking From The

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:

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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:

Outro: Thanks for listening.

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:

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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:

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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:

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

705

:

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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:

See you next time.

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