There is no denying the importance of building relationships with others, especially ones that you can sincerely trust with being able to be there when there are good and bad times. Trusting someone with the utmost importance is key to also becoming the best version of yourself, as you give yourself permission to unlock the hidden potential that you otherwise would never see and have a "sounding board" when difficult conversations need to be had. Wrapping up our month of recognizing individuals that have positively contributed to the start of this podcast, along with the coaching business, Your Speaking Voice LLC, Melody Taylor, a personal best friend of our podcast host, joins us to discuss what it means to not only go through life with three amazing kids, but how being able to help others in their greatest time of need has been a life-changing experience for herself. The importance of having "a bestie" cannot be understated enough, even if that person is there to encourage you to keep going through, no matter what life may throw at you.

Guest Bio

Melody was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A graduate of Cumberland Valley School District, Melody has held multiple administrative positions throughout her career. Presently she is wrapping up supporting parents and their students that attend Commonwealth Charter Academy (CCA), a K-12 Public Cyber Charter School located in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Melody has navigated a variety of different types of situations which include but are not limited to the diagnosis of her brother as autistic, and lingering symptoms of a concussion suffered as a teenager. Throughout her life, Melody’s beliefs about herself were always dictated by what others said and accommodating to their requests. Her recent discovery of her latent abilities have evolved her to provide inspiration to others that seek to find out what they are capable of achieving by having actionable goals and a plan in place to stay accountable. Melody has raised three beautiful children named Lissy, Logan, and Lilianna.

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Melody.Joy.da.Silva

• Toastmasters International -Home (https://www.toastmasters.org) - Toastmasters is an international organization that has allowed many of my guests to be on the show through personal and professional connection, combining all kinds of different types of communication and leadership development. Learn more about this organization at the link provided, plus check out the "Find A Club" option where you can locate an in-person or virtual club closest to you and your likings!

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

2

determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

3

This is Speaking From The Heart.

4

Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 127 of Speaking From the Heart.

5

Today wraps up a month of awesome

interviews that I've been doing, not

6

only honoring people that have made

positive contributions to starting my

7

business, Your Speaking Voice, LLC,

but if it wasn't for them, Speaking

8

From the Heart, my podcast that you're

listening to right now, would have never

9

existed, and I've saved the very best

for last, because this last individual

10

that we are putting on the show today

is my best friend, Melody Taylor, and

11

I'm really excited to not only showcase

her, but this interview is something

12

that has meant so much to me, and what

has exemplified as a full circle moment,

13

which I even say during our interview.

14

Melody was born in

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

15

A graduate of Cumberland Valley

School District located in South

16

Central Pennsylvania, melody

has held multiple administrative

17

positions throughout her career.

18

Presently, she's wrapping up supporting

parents and their students that

19

attend Commonwealth Charter Academy,

better known as CCA, a K through

20

12 Public Cyber Charter School

located in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

21

Melody has navigated a variety

of different types of situations,

22

which include but are not limited

to: the diagnosis of her brother as

23

autistic, and lingering symptoms of

a concussion suffered as a teenager.

24

Throughout her life, Melody's

beliefs about herself were always

25

dictated by what others said, and

accommodating to their request.

26

Her recent discovery of her latent

abilities have evolved her to provide

27

inspiration to others that seek to

find out what they are capable of

28

achieving by having actionable goals

and a plan in place to stay accountable.

29

Melody has raised three beautiful children

named Lissy, Logan, and Liliana, and I

30

have to say, there's nothing that gets

more personal, more involved than anything

31

that you might ever do, which is having

your best friend on your own podcast.

32

Now, I can't tell you how many people

probably would ever do this, but I

33

thought it was so important for me to

not only showcase why Melody has made

34

such a huge contribution to me, but

at the very end, there are things that

35

I say that make me feel like I have

goosebumps running through me, but it

36

just demonstrates to you the power of

friendship, and the value that it could

37

bring no matter where you're at in life.

38

But with that, let's go to the episode.

39

Alright, we're here with Melody Taylor.

40

Melody, thanks for sharing

your heart with us today.

41

Melody: No problem.

42

Thanks so much for finally

having me on here, bestie!

43

Joshua: Absolutely, and I have to say for

my listeners, this is a moment for me in

44

which I think I feel like I've came full

circle because I said to Melody, who I've

45

known for many years, that I don't know

where this podcast was going to take me,

46

and I also didn't know where this would

land, because I even said this to you.

47

You might even remember a little bit

of this, but I thought this was going

48

to be like a three month experiment.

49

I know I was doing it for some reason

that I wanted to get my voice out there,

50

but little did I know, and little did

we both know, because you shared in some

51

of the pre -discussion about some of

the episodes that I was even doing that

52

I don't know if I was going to make it,

but here I am and I'm recording a episode

53

with you, so thanks so much for doing this

with me, and before I even say anything

54

else for my listeners, I've known Melody.

55

She has been somebody that has been

the biggest support for me in not

56

only everything that I've done with

my business, but also with this

57

project, so I have to tell you straight

out, thank you for everything that

58

you've done for me up to this point.

59

Melody: You're trying to make me cry

already, but I just have to say for the

60

record, I believed in you from the get go.

61

I had no doubt, no question in my mind.

62

This was your calling.

63

This is where you belonged, and I

am so happy to have seen you grow

64

and blossom through all of this.

65

It has been absolutely incredible.

66

Joshua: Well, thanks for that, so

Melody, I've let the listeners know a

67

little bit about your background, but

I wanted to jump into the fact that you

68

were born in Philadelphia, and I did not

know this, and we went back and forth

69

quite a bit about it because I didn't

even know even after I'd known you for

70

over a decade, so maybe you can tell

our listeners a little bit about why

71

Philadelphia, and why you now live in

Mechanicsburg, because I know there's been

72

a lot of different movement in your life.

73

Melody: Yes.

74

I would like to say West

Philadelphia born and raised on the

75

playground is where I spent most

of my days, but that's not true.

76

My family is all from Philadelphia.

77

That is where I was born.

78

My older two brothers were born there.

79

My parents were.

80

I actually was born at home

on a Wednesday evening.

81

My dad was a pastor and he had to miss

prayer meeting, but my parents had no

82

insurance, so I was born at home, and

I think when I was four, we moved to

83

Michigan for a little over a year for

my dad's job, and then that brought

84

him back to the Mechanicsburg area, so

I lived at Mechanicsburg, Camp Hill.

85

When I got married, I lived in

Shiremanstown, and then I also moved to

86

Illinois for six years and four months.

87

I moved back, and I was in New Cumberland.

88

I've been all over the place here, a lot

of moves, and staying with my parents

89

in between every single one of them.

90

They just keep bringing me

back as a boomerang child.

91

Joshua: Well, there's nothing wrong with

that, and I have to say that I lived with

92

my parents up until my mid twenties, at

most, because I was trying to get a stable

93

footing and a job and all of that, so I

feel like that's sort of been what our

94

generation has gone through, trying to

figure out where that level of stability

95

is, so I can completely understand that.

96

With moving back and forth, I mean,

I know I've had guests on the show

97

that have talked about those sort

of experiences and trying to feel

98

like they have a sense of belonging.

99

Did you ever have time to like settle into

any of these places, and feel like you

100

were at home, or how was that dynamic?

101

Melody: Honestly, I have always

felt like I've been at home close to

102

my parents and close to my family.

103

I moved to Illinois when I was only

married for- I believe about eight

104

months, and that was miserable for me.

105

I was more depressed than I had

ever been in my entire life.

106

I cried every day.

107

It was awful, and I felt so secluded from

my family and my husband at the time,

108

when he lost his job there, on Valentine's

Day, ironically, that was the best thing

109

to ever happen because it brought me

back to my parents, and even though I

110

feel like I've been moving around there

in a house and renting a house, and then

111

buying a house, and then moving back in

with my parents, and building a house, and

112

moving back in with my parents, and all

of this, just being close to my parents

113

has felt the most at home, and I have

three children, so it is very important

114

for me to have that support from them.

115

That really is the only family that I

have, other than my brother and sister

116

in law that also live with my parents,

but that's the only family I have, and

117

that is where I feel the most connected.

118

Joshua: I feel that, for me, I missed out

on a big part of my life with not being

119

able to stay really much in touch with

my parents because they live in Oley.

120

For my listeners, Oley is in

Berks County in Pennsylvania.

121

It's about a hundred mile distance,

between, which translate roughly to

122

an hour and a half, hour 45, so I feel

like I've lost a lot of that connection

123

and trying to stay in touch, so it

is really comforting to kind of hear

124

from you, being able to reconnect and

being able to provide that sort of,

125

not only support system, but you know

that they're always there for you too.

126

Melody: When I came back to the area,

I was still in contact with one of

127

my best friends from high school,

and that's how I met you at game

128

night, and that was one of the first

things that I did when I came back.

129

He invited me to go to game night,

so I could reconnect with people that

130

I knew before, meet new people, and

that's where I finally felt like,

131

"Okay, I can settle here.", because

in Illinois, I never felt settled.

132

I never felt like I belonged.

133

It was an awful experience, but

I brought it upon myself as well,

134

just because I did not like it.

135

I didn't feel comfortable.

136

Just coming back here to my roots has

been really life changing for me, and

137

some days I still do regret ever leaving,

but I know I did learn a lot of lessons

138

on that, and my big lesson is I never

want to leave my parents ever again.

139

Joshua: Well, I think that many parents

were probably cringing at that last

140

sentence because they're like, "No,

I don't want to ever come back.", but

141

sometimes that doesn't work out the

way it does for a variety of reasons,

142

but, you said something about finding

yourself and feeling like you are living

143

that life with being able to get back

on stable footing and all those things.

144

I'm wondering if you can talk a little

bit about ,what are some of the things

145

that have changed for you as a result of

not only maybe moving back in, but maybe

146

what has allowed you to discover about

yourself that you didn't see before?

147

Melody: Well, I did go through

a lot and this is something

148

that I still deal with now.

149

I actually have traumatic brain injury

from I had a concussion when I was in

150

11th grade where I was out of school

for half of the year, and I wasn't

151

able to go back full time in my senior

year, and then I had a car crash a few

152

years ago where my car was totaled.

153

Somebody ran a red light, and

I had a concussion from that.

154

Honestly, I don't think that people

expected me to be able to walk out of that

155

car, alive, the way that things looked,

but that car protected me, and all of

156

that, and numerous other things that have

gone on in my life, simple things like,

157

I had a running accident when my youngest

was a newborn, and my parents were

158

always there supporting me and helping

me stay on my feet, and they, they have

159

just been amazing, and so many times I

have had to come back to them, and that

160

honestly is where a lot of the support

has been also getting into Toastmasters,

161

thanks to you, has definitely helped me.

162

It has definitely helped me.

163

I know I need to do more with that, but

I feel like I've really struggled to

164

have a voice, and to speak up for myself

and with the traumatic brain injury,

165

and my memory is sometimes really awful.

166

I have episodes of really big regression

and it does come around stress and

167

there's a lot of stress in my life right

now, but I feel like Toastmasters has

168

also helped me to gain some footing in

there, and also just to make me feel

169

human, and real, and knowing that I'm

not among a bunch of people that are

170

all perfect, and speaking perfectly, and

have this great mannerisms of every sort.

171

I just feel like I've been able to learn

from them how to be human and how to put

172

my story together, and encourage others,

and just being real with other people.

173

That is a huge thing for me.

174

I'm very adamant about being

real, not sugarcoating, not making

175

everybody think my life is perfect.

176

It's not.

177

It sucks.

178

A lot of stuff sucks, but I feel like

that helps to connect with people, and for

179

people to feel comfortable connecting with

me when they see that I'm going through

180

things and, I'm very open about it.

181

Joshua: For those that are new to my

show and don't know what Toastmasters is,

182

we spent a lot of time in the beginning

talking about what that has meant.

183

We had a lot of guests on the show

relating to that, and if you're ever

184

interested in checking out a local

Toastmasters club, whether it's virtually

185

or in person, I'll put a link in the

episode notes so you can go and check

186

that out, because, not only, Melody,

do I agree with you, because I know

187

I introduced you to it, and you were

kicking and screaming about it, but

188

at the same time you embraced it after

a while because you saw what those

189

intended/unintended benefits are.

190

I think that it helps to foster that

community of people and helps us to

191

learn in an environment that is safe

and positive in nature, which is what

192

Toastmasters really provides, but

the thing about providing that safe

193

atmosphere, that positivity, I feel

like there's a connection there between

194

your parents and even the people that

you have met through that organization,

195

and even friends that you have.

196

Outside of me, because I know that

we've been friends for a long time.

197

Is there somebody that you really

want to give a shout out to, or maybe

198

acknowledge as somebody that's been

really a big help for you over the

199

last several years that maybe has made

a positive contribution into creating

200

that best version of who you are?

201

Melody: I absolutely have to give a

shout out to my best friend, Sarah.

202

I call her Unicorn Sarah.

203

We have matching tattoos.

204

We have a lot of similarities in life and

it is somebody that I'm able to just be

205

real with, and she can be real with me,

and our lives are messy, and we go through

206

periods of time without talking, but if

either of us have something going on that

207

we just need to bounce off the other,

or just vent, or just say, "Hey, this is

208

really, really hard.", we're always there

for each other, and if something big is

209

going on that we just need another adult

in our presence, I'll go over to her.

210

She'll come over to me.

211

We'll meet at a coffee shop or

whatever, and she has been so

212

instrumental in helping me just to

feel more normal and to feel connected

213

and just having that camaraderie.

214

Obviously, you're my bestie.

215

You're my bestie.

216

Joshua: And yes, folks, we do call each

other besties every time that we see

217

each other, so it's definitely never a

dull moment between her and I, and I have

218

to ask this because with you mentioning

Sarah, which obviously I've known Sarah

219

for a few years now myself because of that

mutual connection, you've said something

220

that strikes me about meeting people

with wherever they got going on, whether

221

you have something that goes really

bad or something that's really good.

222

Do you feel that the bad moments, because

you were talking about depression, anxiety

223

earlier, which I know that our stories

are intertwined when it comes to that.

224

I've had John Schuchman on the show,

and we talked about that experience

225

that night about what had happened, and

we were talking about you and how you

226

reached out too, to make sure everything

was fine about my situation itself.

227

Do you think it's really important to

have those people, whether it's just

228

a few dozen, or maybe even just one,

to reach out to, to feel like you are

229

okay and things are going to be better?

230

I mean, do you think that

it's really important, and

231

if so, why do you think that?

232

Melody: Definitely, and this is

something that we tell each other.

233

We often find ourselves

apologizing to the other.

234

We say, "We know that you have a lot

going on, but I just need to vent about

235

something.", but we are just always

there for each other in those moments,

236

and we make sure to tell each other

that even if I have a lot going on, if

237

you need me, even if I can't respond

right away, send me a voice message.

238

We've both had issues where we have just

literally wanted to run away, or having

239

horrible thoughts, and we make sure that

we are able to open up to each other

240

about things like that, just to have

this feeling of safety of like, "Okay.

241

Somebody knows what I'm going through.

242

They understand.

243

They acknowledge.", and I feel like

that's just been really helpful just to

244

know when I do have a lot, when I have

things going on, and I have a lot going

245

on with my children; a whole lot of

things, that she's always somebody that

246

will listen and she'll be like, "Yeah.

247

You don't have to apologize,

because I know I have a lot going

248

on, but so do you.", and we have a

lot of similarities in our lives.

249

Our lives intertwined in some of the

strangest ways, but it just helps us to be

250

able to understand each other even more.

251

Joshua: I think that mutual connection

with what you said, how that all stringed

252

together, is sometimes the weird ways in

which life works, and even so, sometimes

253

dealing with that, and how we handle

it and process it, are completely big

254

things, and you even mentioned that with

even the things that you've suffered

255

as concussions throughout your life.

256

I want to pivot a little bit, because

this is actually a fascinating part

257

about your life that not many people

really understand or know much about,

258

which is not only the fact that you

have three kids, but those three kids

259

actually go to Commonwealth Charter

Academy, CCA, and for my listeners that

260

are not part of Pennsylvania, that is

a- well not really a company, I should

261

really call it a school in itself, it

is, that allows for in home instruction,

262

so being able to virtually attend

school, so there's no physical building.

263

They do meet occasionally with different

places as field trips, and even activities

264

that they collaborate on, but all the

instruction is done virtually, so how

265

is it like to be able to have your

kids enrolled in public cyber charter

266

school, because I know that I've had a

few guests on the show that I've talked

267

about this, being able to virtually

instruct, but nobody quite like you that

268

has been able to really embrace it, and

I know you've been a big advocate for

269

it, so I'm wondering if you can talk

a little bit about those experiences,

270

raising three kids through that.

271

Melody: Absolutely.

272

Now I have been doing CCA;

this is my eighth year.

273

I have a first grader and a fourth grader

and a seventh grader and we have done

274

CCA since kindergarten for all of them.

275

Just this year, I was a family mentor

for CCA, which means basically I

276

was helping new families that were

just recently enrolled, to navigate

277

through their first year and offer

them support and just helping them

278

to know that they're not alone, and

this is something that I have been so

279

passionate about for years, because it

has worked tremendously for our family.

280

It has really taught independence,

especially for my oldest, my 13 year

281

old, she has been doing school on

her own, without hardly any help

282

for a few years now, especially it

is important for my fourth grader.

283

My fourth grader, Logan, he has ADHD,

autism, sensory processing disorder,

284

emotional disturbance, among other

things, and my younger brother was

285

diagnosed with autism in his thirties,

and he had a very bad experience in the

286

public school system, and a very big

advocate of me having my kids in CCA,

287

and I'm getting so much support for him.

288

Things are not easy at all.

289

There are some days that I am in tears.

290

I literally want to run away, but I just

keep thinking of the alternative and

291

because he has a lot of behavior issues.

292

He would more than likely be

kicked out of a public school.

293

Most other places that we go, he acts

up and he has been kicked out of other

294

places, so I feel like it is so important

to be able to have him home with me.

295

I am monitoring him when he does act up.

296

I'm seeing it, and I'm not just getting a

phone call or a report later saying, "Oh,

297

he did this...", or I'm not wondering what

did the teacher do to him if he did start

298

to get violent, and I don't have to worry

about his safety because I am right there

299

and I see it, and it has been a struggle,

obviously, because obviously, if I would

300

just send my kids to school, I would have

so much more free time during the day, but

301

I wouldn't trade it, because I feel like

they are getting an excellent education.

302

I am in the forefront of it.

303

I am in communication with the teachers.

304

I'm seeing them every day.

305

We are attending field trips.

306

We have some friends that we've made

through CCA that we do extra things

307

with that aren't even with CCA, and it's

just been an awesome community to be a

308

part of, and now also being a contracted

worker and helping other families has

309

just been awesome, but I can't imagine

doing anything else, and I'm hoping it

310

is my goal that all of my kids stay with

CCA until graduation because it's just

311

working so well for us, and like I said,

being a mentor, I get to hear stories from

312

other parents, and that is what I love.

313

When I can relate with them, and they

can tell me the experience that they

314

might've had in a public school, or a

child with autism that wasn't supported

315

fully, and just seeing how happy they are

with the experience here, and just being

316

able to give some personal tidbits of

information, and just talk about, "Yes.

317

We've been through the IEP process.

318

We've been through all of the testing.",

and it just really helps to connect

319

with some of my parents, some of

my families, to see how this is an

320

excellent, excellent way of education.

321

I always say it doesn't

work for everybody.

322

There are some kids that do belong

in the classroom and that is how they

323

thrive and they're just perfectly fine.

324

My kids have never had an issue

of wanting to even try public

325

school because they realize, "Hey!

326

I can sleep in a little.

327

I can be in my pajamas.

328

We can go for a walk between classes.

329

When the pool is open, we could just

go to the pool after classes are

330

done.", so it's been awesome for us.

331

Joshua: You mentioned something

earlier about your son, and about the

332

situation that he's going through.

333

Can you tell us a little bit about

some of the things that you do to help

334

cope with that, because I know that

there are probably parents out there

335

listening to this, that are just at

wit's end in terms of trying to figure

336

out how to self contain that, because

you and I have even talked about this.

337

I had a late stage diagnosis

myself of autism, and it was never

338

supported whatsoever, so you and

I have had a lot of conversations.

339

You and your brother essentially have

helped a lot with probably figuring

340

out some of the things that I didn't

even realize about it, but I'm

341

wondering if you have some helpful

advice for anybody out there that

342

is struggling with something similar

as to what you've been experiencing.

343

Melody: Seeking help and

being open about things.

344

Just like I said earlier, how I love

to be open, and it helps to open

345

up the conversation with others.

346

I have had so many people reach out to

me and say, "Hey, my child deals with

347

the same thing.", and then just being

able to support each other, being part of

348

neurodivergent groups, on Facebook, that

has been really helpful and even just

349

trying to get the right kind of help.

350

Now, getting help for a child like this

is not easy with the system, and it takes

351

a lot of patience, and it takes a lot

of persistence to get the help that you

352

need for your child, but don't give up,

and also just stopping, and thinking, and

353

knowing, their brain style is different.

354

They're not going to act and behave

the same way that a neurotypical child

355

will, and that's something that I

have to remind myself of often, that

356

sometimes he's not trying to do this.

357

He doesn't want to act out like this, but

this is how his brain is working, and I

358

need to just try whatever tactics , . And

one tactic that I use with him a lot that

359

does help is I hold onto him gently, and

we talk about things that we can change,

360

things that we cannot change, and what

we can do about it, and then we discussed

361

that, and then we talk about doing a 180,

where we will physically turn around, not

362

in a full circle, but doing a 180, and

that is a way of demonstrating, "Okay.

363

I have thought about what is going on.

364

I know that I can't change what

I'm upset about, but this is what

365

I can change in effect, and now I'm

turning around, and I'm going to

366

just act completely different.",

and so that's what he uses now.

367

When we talk about when he's having

an episode of a fit, I will say,

368

"What do you think you need to do?"

369

He knows he needs to make a

180, and so that's what we do.

370

Joshua: Can't tell you how many times

you and I have talked about making

371

180s, so we didn't really talk about

it in that concept, but it's the truth.

372

We have all have had to make some

180 adjustments in both our lives to

373

kind of get to where we're at now,

and the work is never done either.

374

I think you and I have even had those

conversations about how we can work

375

through goals and how we can figure out

how to be accountable for those goals,

376

and you're teaching that to your kids,

which is admirable, because a lot of

377

the things that we go through in life,

sometimes we don't have that role model.

378

One of my guests have even mentioned

about the impact of being able to have

379

that support system all the time, so you

mentioned something though, that really

380

is not only an important aspect of why we

go through not only having kids in school,

381

but also why virtual works for you.

382

I'm interested by the fact that

you want to help other parents

383

that are exploring this option.

384

How has that been being able to

be able to work with parents that

385

have millions of questions, because

they didn't grow up in that?

386

I mean, the concept of a virtual cyber

school did not exist not all that long

387

ago, and even for people that grew up in

the school system, this is a completely

388

different sort of aspect that when they

have kids, this is a whole new adventure,

389

so what are some common things that you've

been asked as somebody exploring that?

390

Melody: Okay.

391

A lot of people think that it is

antisocial, that it is like being

392

a homeschooler that doesn't get

out and they just stay at home,

393

and that is just not the case.

394

It is what you make it, and that is

why I'm so passionate about it, because

395

at least with this cyber school,

there are a lot of options to interact

396

with others, even in the classroom.

397

The teachers will, in the Zoom room,

do a little breakout room for the

398

students, or the learners, to talk with

each other, talk about their weekend,

399

and they develop friendships that way.

400

That is definitely one of the biggest

things that I have some families

401

coming into CCA saying, "I don't

know about this, because my kid is

402

rarely social.", and I say, "Yeah.

403

Mine is too.", and we have

just been able to work with

404

it where we're at field trips.

405

We're meeting up with people.

406

They're able to talk with their

teachers more than I feel like they

407

would one on one in a public school

as well, like my son who needs a

408

little bit of extra assistance.

409

He can very quickly send a

chat message to his teacher and

410

say, "Hey, can you help me?"

411

They'll open up a zoom room and

they'll help him, which is another

412

awesome thing, so I think that some

parents don't really understand

413

that it really is what you make it.

414

It is not antisocial.

415

It is not just a homebody, and this

school offers so many field trips

416

throughout the year, all over the place.

417

Last year, I took my three kiddos

to Pittsburgh, twice, because

418

there was a field trip there.

419

There was a teacher we wanted to meet.

420

I just booked a hotel and we made a whole

few days out of it, and that was awesome.

421

The second time we actually went

with another CCA family, and we were

422

able to connect with them there, and

it was awesome, so that's something

423

that I like to let the new parents

know that there are definitely ways.

424

You just have to get yourself involved

a little bit, but once the children

425

connect and become friends, you

become friends with the parents.

426

You're connecting.

427

You're seeing each other at field trips,

and you're making those connections,

428

and it might not be exactly the same as

sitting in a classroom all day, but it is

429

out in real life and that's what my kids

love to do is just be part of different

430

things, and different kind of experiences,

that are part of the school day and

431

instead of sitting in a classroom all day.

432

Joshua: You've mentioned a lot in

the last several minutes about what

433

your kids have been through in terms

of being part of the CCA experience.

434

You've mentioned even earlier about

your experiences just moving around and

435

really kind of feel like you're that

boomerang kid and having to adapt and to

436

adjust to all these moving expectations,

dealing with the concussion, dealing

437

with all kinds of other life events.

438

My final question is really this.

439

What keeps you going?

440

What makes you strong to keep

persevering, because I know for

441

people like just being able to deal

with the daily and even raising three

442

kids, which in itself is amazing.

443

I've always said this to you.

444

I don't know how you do it sometimes,

even myself, because like, I would freak

445

out over one kid, and you know that I

don't have any kids, but at the same

446

time, I'm dealing with a lot of those

things that I'm working through to

447

become the best version of even myself

is even as I build being a coach, but

448

what inspires you to keep going, Melody?

449

Melody: Honestly, what keeps me going is

I have a boyfriend now that I have known

450

since eighth grade, and just recently

reconnected with him over a 20 year high

451

school reunion, and some days, that's

what keeps me going is having somebody

452

to support me in my life like that,

that I haven't been supported in the

453

same way before, and somebody who has a

lot of similarities in life to me, and

454

just knowing that I do have somebody who

genuinely cares, and I can bounce things

455

off of, and I find it odd, but that really

does help me sometimes get through each

456

day is just knowing that I have somebody

like that and I didn't for a very, very,

457

very long time, and so it's interesting

for my youngest daughter to say, "Mom.

458

He makes you too happy.",

and I say, "Okay.

459

Well, good.

460

I'm glad.

461

That's a really good thing.", but that,

just adding him into my support system,

462

is kind of what keeps me going, and

knowing that I can't give up for my kids.

463

Even though some days I really honestly

want to, and I have really down days where

464

I just cry and I just want to escape.

465

I cry a lot.

466

Josh can tell you this.

467

I have purchased extra tissues for

his office because I cry so much,

468

but just knowing that I have people

depending on me too, and I have to keep

469

going for them and I have to see my kids

through, especially to success rather

470

than just completely giving up on them.

471

Joshua: We all have that motivation in

our life, and I think even you and I

472

have talked about this off and on for

12 years, where I feel like sometimes

473

it's about not only figuring out what

it means to have that purpose, which I

474

often say to various people that come

through my business, but it's also about

475

figuring out what keeps us going, and one

thing that I have to point out for our

476

listeners, because I know that they can't

see this, it's all audio, is that you

477

have the tattoo on your arm of "Continue."

478

I think that you continue no matter what

those obstacles are, which many people

479

would have given up, maybe like you said,

they would have just thrown in the towel.

480

You haven't.

481

You keep figuring the things out and

you keep on making those things happen,

482

but I have to say, if it wasn't for

you, I wouldn't be able to continue.

483

I wouldn't have never been a success with

what I've continued to build, and although

484

I know, personally, and you know this

too, that I have so much more work yet to

485

do, what makes this really impactful for

me is that if it wasn't for you, there

486

would be no Speaking From The Heart.

487

There would be no Your Speaking Voice.

488

There would be no Josh Smith, literally,

and I don't know what that means in the

489

future with what I got on my heart and on

my cards, but I will say to you, Melody,

490

that if it wasn't for you, I would not

be half the person that I am today.

491

I really mean that because you were there

when the darkest times were happening,

492

and even after that, how many times there

have been some dark moments for me too,

493

and I think that if it wasn't for your

courage, and you carrying that, despite

494

just talking it through, I would not be

a perfect person, which I'm not, and I

495

think that it makes me perfect in the

sense that it makes me feel like I can

496

work on things in my life that now I

have some of those tools that I didn't

497

have before, and that is a sense of

working towards that sort of perfection.

498

Knowing that I'm not going to be perfect,

but know that I'm able to work on it.

499

You're doing the work, you're

making it happen, and for all

500

those reasons, Melody, thanks for

being on Speaking From the Heart.

501

It was really not just an honor and a

privilege as I always tell my guests, but

502

this interview is a little bit different

for me, in that personally, you are one

503

of those people that are the reason why

this even exists in the first place,

504

so thank you for always supporting me

and making me feel like I'm part of

505

this experience in what's called life.

506

Melody: And right back at you.

507

Honestly, I know I wasn't supposed to

brag on you this whole time, but you have

508

been that one for me and that's why I just

feel like I have to reciprocate it to you.

509

There's been times where I have been in

a horrible, horrible space and I just

510

FaceTime you bawling and you're able to

help me to breathe through things until

511

I can speak, and you're not judging me,

and I just want to thank you, because

512

you have been so instrumental in my life,

and you are one of those people I know

513

that I could always count on no matter

what you're going through and I always

514

want to be there for you, no matter what

it takes, if I am coming to your work

515

to sit next to you on the step outside

while you cry, that's what I want to do.

516

If I-

517

Joshua: And that has happened, folks.

518

Yes.

519

Melody: If I have to come into your office

after you have a flood, I will do that.

520

Joshua: And that also has happened, folks,

and that's a whole other story in itself.

521

Melody: Yes.

522

Yes, but I feel like it's something

that I just owe you, because you

523

have helped me in so many ways over

the years, and I wouldn't be where

524

I'm at now, if it wasn't for you.

525

Joshua: You never owed me anything, nor

do you owe anybody else except yourself,

526

the awesome gifts that you have and to

keep embracing that, and just finding

527

who you are, and you're doing that, and

I really do appreciate that Melody, so

528

again, thanks for being part of the show.

529

Melody: Thanks for having me.

530

Joshua: I don't know what to say.

531

This is one of the first times

that I wrapped up an interview,

532

and I feel completely speechless.

533

It is almost a feeling as if I've come

full circle, not only in everything that

534

I've been doing, to get to this point

in my career, not only on this earth,

535

but to know that there are people like

Melody that have been there, every step

536

of the way, but yet, at the same time,

didn't even realize what they provide to

537

others that makes such a big difference,

and it's funny, because even after this

538

recording of this interview, Melody has

gone through so many different things in

539

her life that I hope that when she listens

to this, even as she continues to listen

540

to this for years to come, she is reminded

of the fact that her unbelievable power

541

that she has, just as much as the power

that you have, my listeners, in being

542

able to take a story just like hers,

and transform it into such unlimited

543

potential, should demonstrate to you

the ability for you to be able to create

544

not only the best versions of yourself,

but ultimately, accomplish anything

545

that you could do through the power

of friendship, because let's face it.

546

Melody and I would have never been able

to meet in the circumstances that we

547

had if it wasn't for the fact that many,

many years ago, I even challenged the

548

status quo by moving out, and was one

of the best decisions I have ever made,

549

in order for me to grow, but to also

evolve, but also at the same time, knowing

550

that some things happen for a reason.

551

This pre-determined meeting of Melody

and I, turned into something that I would

552

have never thought would support even my

business, let alone this very show for

553

that matter, because let's face it, moving

around with various types of individuals

554

and having all kinds of different types

of support system might not be feeling

555

very good, especially with all the things

that you might have going on in your life.

556

People sometimes make you feel crappy,

and other people sometimes make you

557

feel happy, but yet, when you go through

all these various obstacles that you

558

might have in your life, and maybe

they are dealt with all kinds of people

559

that you have to work with, whether

they are teachers or administrators,

560

or maybe even somebody else, you have

to realize that there are different

561

ways in which we can overcome the

obstacles that we have in our lives.

562

We have to be able to find niches,

or even places for that matter,

563

that we can find our voice, but

do you struggle to have a voice?

564

Do you regress on having a

voice, because you're afraid

565

of what that outcome might be?

566

It can make such a big difference in

terms of what is going on in our lives,

567

not only to raise our children, not

only to go through adulthood, maybe even

568

take care of our elder parents, but the

next time that you meet someone in a

569

coffee shop to have an experience that

you never thought you would ever have,

570

are you going to have that conversation

move you forward, or move you back?

571

I think that the people that you even

sit down for coffee with, can have such a

572

profound effect on the ways in which you

support yourself; how you raise others

573

dictates how you will be treated too, even

your own children, even the people that

574

you associate with, so what can you do?

575

How you can provide support in these

different areas is truly an important

576

aspect, but let's face it, with all

the people that we've had on this

577

show this month, which include John

Schuchman, Michael Dugan, and Brittany

578

and Corey Hart, all have said things

that are all tied together, even this

579

very interview with Melody today.

580

It's relationships, and it's the

relationships that help us to learn

581

and grow and connect that make such

a big difference, especially when

582

we need that extra support the most,

but there's something that Melody's

583

journey really provided for me, when

our journeys collided together, and

584

it is the topic of neurodivergence.

585

Now, I have to be real with you is that

Melody actually connected me with some

586

of my other previous guests that I've

had on this show already, which include

587

Leann Firestone and Erin McNamara.

588

If it wasn't for these individuals, I

wouldn't even have had them as guests,

589

even having the conversations that

I had in both of those interviews

590

allowed me to figure out why I

really like working with Melody as a

591

best friend, because let's face it.

592

Neurodivergence, what I struggle with

the most, has provided me with so many

593

different types of opportunities, but

it's also provided me with a lot of

594

pain, but I turn that pain into purpose,

while some people, not necessarily naming

595

names or even picking on people, don't

know how to best move forward from that.

596

You need to have patience and persistence,

which is why I love that Melody talks

597

about her children, especially those

that need that extra assistance.

598

I have learned to respect a lot better

why those differences are so valuable,

599

because I did not know what that meant

to actually be neurodivergent until it

600

happened to me a little over a year ago

now, but what are the physical hints?

601

What is it that you're trying

to do that will help you to keep

602

moving that relationship forward,

especially when you need those

603

people the most to help lean on you?

604

To help push you forward?

605

That's what friends are for, and

Melody did all of those things for me.

606

If she wasn't there for me, in the

very beginning, I would have closed up

607

this business in a heartbeat, because

I thought that maybe I was doing

608

the right thing, but there have been

many different times in which I've

609

sat and cried, and cried, and cried,

wondering why I made the choices that

610

I did, but Melody reminds me of the

importance of it is what you make it.

611

I could have made my life

full of all kinds of different

612

opportunities, but at the same time.

613

if I remained antisocial, especially

if I never tried to make inwards into

614

why I was feeling the way I was, I

would be half the person that I am

615

today, and it's because of friendships

that have made such a big difference.

616

You can explore.

617

You can have opportunities

that work alongside of you.

618

You can make this happen for yourself

too, but the main important point of

619

this is, and the question that we're

really aiming at answering today, is how

620

and who has helped you to support those

similarities so that you don't give up?

621

So that you keep pushing forward?

622

So that you know that you always

will have a best friend that will

623

help you, no matter what happens?

624

It's very hard to record this

last portion of this amazing month

625

for a lot of different reasons.

626

Melody has meant so much to me, in

ways in which you, my listeners,

627

will never understand, and sure, some

people will speculate that maybe I

628

have some sort of relationship with her

outside of just being a best friend,

629

but that isn't what this is about.

630

If you are really understanding what

I mean when you have somebody that you

631

just connect with, and you know that they

are there to support you no matter what.

632

It goes beyond what any sort

of human instinct might think.

633

It challenges what you might even

believe that is really important about

634

what life is, because sometimes we just

need people that are there, no matter

635

what, to cry on with their shoulder, to

just listen to, to just hold your hand

636

and just say that it's okay, things

are going to get better, and even when

637

people are so mean and downright nasty,

you can talk to them, and they won't

638

hold a grudge, or they won't befuddle

you with all kinds of other comments

639

that might otherwise be considered

inappropriate in some other circles.

640

To be truthful, Melody knows things about

my life that, even for myself, I didn't

641

realize that I knew I had a problem with,

and she identified with it many years ago.

642

That is the kind of

relationship that we have.

643

That is the reason why I keep coming

back, knowing that Melody's going to

644

point those things out to me, and if

you don't have somebody in your life

645

today that is not willing to do that

for you, and you think that they are

646

supposed to be doing that, and you still

hang around them, it's time to rethink

647

your position, ladies and gentlemen,

as to whether that friendship is really

648

important, because value matters.

649

Quality matters.

650

It isn't about quantity.

651

It isn't about your followers.

652

It isn't about what you think are

really the most important things in

653

life, because the most important things

boil down to who will be there when all

654

things go to hell, and mass chaos ensues.

655

Melody and John, both together, came

to save my life over four years ago.

656

I don't know if you ever had somebody in

your life that would go to great lengths,

657

especially if you were down in the dumps,

homeless, maybe even having other sort of

658

situations play out: medical, physical,

whatever they might be, but if you don't

659

have a friend, like I just interviewed

today on my show, you need to rethink

660

your position today, because let's be

real, if it wasn't for people like her, I

661

would not be who I am, so I want to take,

one more time, the last few minutes to

662

talk to my best friend Melody, and for

my listeners that are listening to this,

663

I want you to hear what I have to say to

her because I think that it serves as an

664

important guidepost for us to explore,

even if in a coaching environment,

665

why it's important to say these things

that are on our hearts and minds.

666

Melody.

667

This part of the episode is for you.

668

I know that down the road you will be

listening to this, and you will be such

669

a changed woman, in ways in which not

only are you raising three healthy kids,

670

not only will you have somebody in your

life that you will be able to love and

671

respect, but I want you to know that

you and your family have helped me, and

672

have changed me, and that you've made

me whole, as a human being, as a male

673

figure, for somebody else that I know I

will meet in my life that I will be able

674

to enjoy the pleasure of helping them

see the best versions of who they are.

675

If it wasn't for you, I would

not be the winner of so many

676

different parts of my life now.

677

I would not be overcoming some of

the obstacles that I have let stand

678

in my way for so long, but more

importantly, that you had a voice in

679

a part of my life that I needed to

have, and I love how far you've come.

680

You have helped me where other people

would have never been able to help.

681

You have created value where you might

have never even realized that value needed

682

to be created, but more importantly,

above all else, you are the epitome of

683

what it means to have a friend that will

stand by you, through thick and thin,

684

whether you absolutely hated me or not.

685

I want you to know that I love you, best

friend, and that you matter the most.

686

You are becoming the best

version of yourself, and I

687

love what you are becoming.

688

Never give up.

689

Never feel that you are worthless, but

more importantly, don't ever lose that God

690

given opportunity that you've been given,

because you are becoming not just the best

691

version of yourself, but the best version

for others, to help you see the light that

692

is so ahead of you in many different ways.

693

I want to thank all those that have

been part of this amazing set of

694

episodes this month, and I especially

want to thank you, the listeners, for

695

allowing me to share this with you.

696

I hope that these five guests, overall,

have been able to help you see not only

697

that anybody can help you become better

for who you are, but for what you are able

698

to create in your own life for the future.

699

Thanks for listening to episode

number 127 of Speaking From The

700

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

701

Outro: Thanks for listening.

702

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

703

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

704

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

705

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

706

See you next time.