The Queens rate and review a 2 Star Review for Duke Cannon THICK Body Wash for Men. It is 'NOT for Clowns!' Chelsey sees the light, Trey needs a ruler, and the Queens CELEBRATE with 'a rainbow, and a cake, and a cloud that has a smile!' Thrifty Nifty Mommy! Queendom Question: IS Angela great?! We need to know!

(02:03) Lodge a Complaint!

(07:08) Last Week: Today!

(09:38) Behind The Scenes

(12:10) 50+ Must-Have Gifts for Guys in their 30's

(14:26) Duke Cannon's handshake

(22:03) 2 Star Review

(39:27) Exclusive Offer

(43:33) My Royal Highness

(48:31) DONATE!

(49:00) On This Week's After Show Pod

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@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald 

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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian and Virginian.

It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score.

Trey and Chelsey will help you choose!

Who's views win, which ones lose.

Online haters are coming for you!

Baby,.

it's time to Review That Review!.

Hello,

Oh, hello and welcome to Review That Review.

The podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

reviews we're just like Cisco and Ebert only.

Instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing,

that is Chelsey Donn.

and that is Trey Gerrald.

And when we come together, we.

The Review Queen.

And A' very special

Cheerio

to all of our members over on Patreon.

If you wanna learn more, go to Review That Review dot com slash Patreon.

If you enjoy our show and you would like to support in an additional way, then go over

or

Hey, ChelseyBD, how are you?

'I am good.

Trey, you're just such A' gift in my life.

I'm so happy to be here with you today.

That's very kind.

'I 'I.

Am happy that I'm seeing you.

There's so much illumination over there.

You know, I've just decided to embrace it.

'I can't get the lights exactly to just be on the backdrop and not me.

So if 'I have A', little purple

'I was making reference to how you had A' power outage for the last three days.

Oh my God.

Well, okay, well, 'I thought we could go there in the complaints, but we can, we can hop right in.

Let's do it.

Let's jump over.

Chelsea's had A' tough week that I'm 'I.

I'm assuming you're gonna need to

A', Complaint.

my God.

Yeah, there's, well, there's so much to Lodge, but mostly like, so we'll just

'I had A' power outage.

It rains in la.

. That's very frustrating.

This is gonna lead into A' Complaint.

My general Complaint is just like missing out on things and or forgetting things.

'I know that's like sort of neutral, but it's like when you make A' plan and you can't fall

It's just very frustrating not being able to carry through with A' mission.

You know what I'm saying?

We were saying the other week when 'I was talking about, you know, you go to the store,

Like that's very frustrating.

Mission not accomplished.

This weekend, 'I had some missions on the list and none of them could get accomplished

So you know, God bless l A', D W P for being out there at all hours to get us back on the grid

That's crazy.

non playable.

So that was what was happening over here.

What was happening for you, Trey.

I've been having A'.

Very good week.

You know, my Complaint though, is something that occurred the other day and 'I was like, oh my

Which 'I didn't do, but 'I made.

A' mental note.

All right,

And you remembered.

'I.

Well, 'I.

Yeah, 'I eventually made A' little like note of my Apple Notes app.

Why do all navigation systems think that 'I understand how far 200 feet is?

Oh yeah.

'I do not know, and 'I get so much anxiety, it's like 500

What you have missed re calculating.

Like 'I, 'I cannot tell the spacial distance of feet when I'm driving in A' car.

And the whole time it's been like 0.1 mile, 0.0

would you rather it say?

Like you'll be at the light in one minute.

no 'I.

Just wish that it was clearer.

Like and 'I don't know how that is, but.

'I 'I.

'I cannot distinguish 500 feet when I'm driving 35 miles an hour, like 'I.

Don't know how many feet we go, like based on the miles per hour in A' car.

'I feel like 'I started to get better at that when 'I moved

'I started getting better at gauging, like it's usually about.

200 feet 'I.

Wanna say like in between stoplights?

In A', . Like if it's like A', constant stoplight.

So if 'I, if it says like 200 feet, I'm like, okay.

It probably means okay, I'm turning on the stoplight.

You know what 'I mean?

But it takes A'.

While it is annoying 'I, just wish that we knew A' way to fix it so we could

What also happens to me with like interstate driving

Oh, that

and like if it's like five lanes, like it just gets very

Very, because sometimes it's like, merge, right?

And then, and then it'll be like merge right?

Turn left.

And you're like, whoa, whoa.

Like

that is so

stayed in the middle lane where 'I was and be like in A' perfect

But you made me feel like 'I needed to go right.

And now, now I'm in A' situation.

Thanks A'.

Especially like it'll be like take the exit on the right, but it'll be like the far

cuz it needs to like figure, it needs to recalculate.

Well, it thinks you did the right thing and then suddenly I'm like,

I'm on A'.

Gray line.

'I can 'I.

'I messed up.

'I.

How am 'I?

And then it's like you have to drive five miles outta your way.

Totally.

So annoying.

Although we, 'I did obviously nominate the GPS possibly for the second time A', few weeks ago.

Yes.

so clearly 'I love it.

But yeah, 'I mean we could al we, there's always room for improvement.

Certainly.

'I just have to like 'I guess.

'I need to figure out feet.

That's my Complaint.

right.

Could be meters.

'I guess could be worse.

A' A'.

Yo, don't get me started on meters.

What's A' Football field?

'I.

Don't know what that

'I know God yards.

What?

Yeah.

What's A' fucking yard?

'I.

Mean?

'I.

Guess 'I know with

and A' half feet 'I.

Don't know these

who knows?

I'm, I'm

All right, I'm done.

There's too much like math or geometry or whatever happening, and 'I think we need to

What do

'I think so too.

Let's do it.

Why don't we go ahead and.

Review.

That, Review,

As you know, we are your trusty Review Queen.

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

We read you the review, we break it down and rate the impact of that

It's A', very regal process that we call,

That, Kvetch.

and this week is you ChelseyBD.

What's up today, diva?

Okay, well we're gonna go into the whole thing.

So first of all, Trey 'I feel like 'I have to like apologize, which is why 'I wanted to talk

And so 'I am not

know where this is

so conscious about like where we are in the time that the episode is gonna come out.

And then 'I realized the schmuck that 'I am Shu.

Well, 'I didn't know what to do.

'I.

Forgot to like say Happy Birthday, Trey.

It's Trey's birthday.

Oh my God.

Trey's birthday episode.

'I make like A'.

Huge deal out of it and 'I feel so bad.

And it was my week this week to do reviews.

So 'I was like, 'I gotta fix this immediately.

So this review is like Trey's birthday themed review.

Okay.

Wait, hold on,

doesn't know.

hold on.

'I have to just say that as 'I was preparing the script, 'I was like, should 'I like

And then 'I was like, I'm not gonna tell her it's my birthday,

feel so bad about that.

Like you're like my work husband and 'I.

Just like the guilt that 'I felt when 'I realized 'I did that 'I was like, must 'I have to

How did you wait?

How did you realize?

Because 'I was thinking, 'I was like looking at my calendar and 'I was like,

And 'I have A' gift that I've been like meaning to send you.

Yes.

You mentioned

it's in my trunk, but 'I was like, 'I can still make it by the real birthday.

And then obviously we have the power outage.

That was like part of my plans being derailed cuz 'I had like lots

Including sending that thing out.

So 'I was like, oh, I'll be fine.

'I can get it to Trey by his birthday.

And then 'I was like, wait, A' minute, where are we in recording?

What's the date?

What's happening?

And then 'I realized like, crap, like real time, fake time, whatever it is.

'I shouldn't have forgotten your birthday and you're so good at it.

You played me all those birthday songs for my birthday.

And 'I, just 'I felt really, really bad.

Trey.

So 'I, just wanna start this out by playing you A' little song first

Here we.

Huh?

Can you not hear it?

No.

Oh, no,

Is yours A' Video file.

no.

It's an mp3.

It's A'.

It's A' music file.

Is it A' video file?

Why is it not A' Music note?

No, it's A'.

It's A' audio file.

Okay.

Oh no.

It is that m o v.

Oh shoot.

Try 'I ruining it.

I'm sorry.

I'm making this

Well,

for you for your birthday.

Let me see if 'I can export it quickly.

Why don't you just text it to me and then I'll put it in over here.

I'm trying to do something nice for Trey and now I'm making him do more editing.

No, but this is Who cares?

Oh.

Oh

Here, I'll open it with Audacity and change it.

man.

'I wanted A' pain.

I'm sorry.

'I.

Try

Mp3.

Really thought 'I was gonna be able to, but 'I blew it.

Okay.

Let's try this.

Okay.

Oh.

Happy birthday, A'.

Little happy.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, A'.

Happy birthday.

Happy A'.

Little happy.

Happy happy.

A'.

Oh, yeah.

Trey.

yeah.

Oh yeah.

What did you,

oh my

just Google birthday late song?

'I 'I did Happy Belated birthday song and 'I listened to

This was the best actually, believe it or not.

Not quite like Bow Wow.

Worthy, but still pretty good.

Who is this artist?

'I have no idea.

It was just 'I.

Found it on YouTube and downloaded it.

it sounds like A', generic like children's entertainment voice

That's exactly what it looked like.

It wa and so it looked like it'd be like A' rainbow and A' cake and crowd

And like an old pixelated, like candle flicker.

Yeah.

Uh, well, I'm very touched.

Thank you.

'I had no feelings other than 'I.

Don't know how to like, get in front of an issue and then that was it.

Well,

Okay, so I'm trying to make up for that Trey.

And so 'I thought, what would be like A' good thing to review that

So 'I, thought 'I.

Remember A' friend of the pod, Emily Crater one time gave us A' great idea of going to like

So 'I 'I did A' little digging and 'I 'I looked for best gifts for guys in their thirties.

Right, because 'I thought, you know, you're really like an everyman kind of guy, right?

So definitely very like, yeah, you're, you're average, bro.

So, 'I thought this is gonna be where I'm gonna find the perfect gift for Trey.

And the first site that 'I came upon was Thrifty Nifty mommy.com.

Which is A' blog that's written by Janessa, uh, who's A' mom.

She started the site in 2010 after giving birth to her first child, and she now

There's A' little intro at the top of the page that, that had me intrigued it.

Are you looking for the perfect gift for A' Guy in your life?

Perhaps A' guy turning 30.

'I found that men can be so hard to shop for no matter what the occasion.

So we've compiled A' list of 50 plus must have gifts for guys in

Whether you are shopping for A' birthday present, father's Day gift, Christmas gift

You are bound to find A' great gift.

On this list, we're sharing some amazing products to bring you the best in men's gifts.

And then there's A' picture of.

Someone that looks like her husband on A' bicycle with like A' bike helmet, like super

So then 'I was like, well, how old are we?

Trey, 'I, don't know.

30 'I stopped counting at 30.

'I don't know about you.

So 'I decided to go to number 30 just to see what's number 30 on the list.

And number 30 on the list is Duke Cannon Thick Bodywash.

Ew,

Okay, so it's, it's called Thick 'I.

Feel like 'I should share my screen with you so that you can experience

Wait, is it t h 'I?

C.

K or T?

H 'I.

C.

C,

t h 'I, c K.

'I 'I.

Don't know if you could see this now.

Trey Patreon, if you're listening, you should be able to see this as well, but okay.

So number 30 on the list, duke Cannon, thick body wash.

Hardworking men require A' shower of substance to accomplish A' full day's work.

That's why Duke Cannon's thick is formulated with A' noticeably higher viscosity,

This woodsy Oak Barrel scent is inspired by the rack houses at our favorite place

He's gonna love it and you can even find it A'.

Okay, so then of course 'I went to Target and saw A' 7 99 listed on the price And 'I

So down the rabbit hole we go.

So Duke.

headline is so upsetting.

so on Duke Cannon's website about us, it says, in A' world of weak handshakes.

Here's A' finger crushing introduction.

Duke Cannon hails from A', simpler time, A' time when the term handyman was

When you never put the word salad next to A' Bar.

But something happened along the way.

Men were encouraged to put down their lug wrenches and pick up their phones.

Hashtag for help substance was replaced by the flash of guys taking selfies and

As any historian worth, their salt will tell you.

This country was built by folks with A' sense of purpose, and our purpose is simple.

To make superior quality grooming goods right here in the S A' that meet the

We value things like hard work, family, community, and bacon.

We champion builders, creators, sledgehammers holders of doors and fixers of toilet.

And we have the utmost

Baldock.

for teachers and farmers and soldiers and first responders.

So it's no wonder good folks feel right at home in Duke Canon country.

Now, 'I know that's obnoxious, but 'I wanna point out that they have A' giving commitment.

They give like 10% or something of their revenue back to veterans who are currently serving.

Or did serve, so that's really nice.

So there is, it's A', lot of like cheekiness, but there is definitely an element of giving back.

'I mean, 'I will say that.

A', lot of that felt very, um, how would 'I say this, like PR.

Yes,

Lawyer, like very delicate line balancing like I'm on A', high wire of like being

also kind of like Winky and being nice.

but

A' really interesting,

'I just don't like A' weak handshake implying that you're not masculine.

Correct.

Well,

yes.

Okay.

yeah.

Okay, so then 'I.

'I went to their site.

On their site.

It's $9, remember 7 99 on Target, and so this is directly from their website.

This is what they have to say about this product.

Teenage body washes are weak, watered down, and smell like A' JV locker room.

Simply put, they don't get the job done.

Hardworking men require A' shower A' substance to accomplish A' full day's work.

That's why Duke Cannon's thick.

It's formulated with A', no noticeably higher viscosity, and built to work effectively on

Sawtooth smells like A' Scenic Drive in late fall, not the DMV in South Albuquerque.

Okay.

Okay,

wait.

They're obsessed with spewing down the

'I know.

'I.

Know 'I know.

That was in both of those copies.

know also three times thicker than teenage body wash.

Plant-based mineral enriched.

A' vera.

Thick.

Thick.

All right, so anyway, 'I then looked on Amazon.

It's 1999 on Amazon.

The moral of that story is that 'I did end up buying it for you directly from the distributor.

You bought this for me?

Oh, did 'I not

This is the gift.

'I.

No, no, no.

'I got you.

A' Real gift.

This is like your gag gift.

'I Got you A'.

Real gift.

It's coming.

What flavor?

What scent?

Thick

No, that's the name.

What's the scent?

They have different scents.

Oh, that's the one you got cuz the other one said sawtooth.

Oh no, no.

'I got you Saw A' tooth.

'I got you Saw A' Tooth 'I.

Know you saw

Wait, what's the one on um, target Go up.

Cuz that was A' Different set.

'I Thought they were all saw

No, that's A' different.

buffalo trays.

That one Barrel Char Bar Barrel charcoal

Barrel, char 'I.

Don't know.

'I thought they were the same cuz they're all summer color.

It doesn't matter.

Anyway.

Point is like buying it through the website also costs 1999 when you factor in shipping.

And at Target they like make, they're like spend more than $25 than you qualify

So at the end of the day, it was actually cheapest to just go directly through

But 'I figured, why don't 'I just do it for them?

So 'I want quickly before you think.

I'm like really insane cuz 'I actually did buy this for you.

'I.

You'd hear at first, just some short one star reviews.

We're not gonna review these, okay?

We're not reviewing these reviews.

We're not reviewing them.

Okay?

We're just listening.

Okay,

Yeah.

Okay.

Andrew.

Five stars, manly, 'I, practical, nice, manly scent.

None of the flowery stuff My wife buys Grand P.

Love this stuff.

Finally, A' soap.

That doesn't smell all girly.

No.

Okay, thy five stars again, 'I bought this without smelling it first.

'I mean.

'I have been extremely pleased.

'I get excited to shower because the shower scrubber still retains the scent.

Even after I'm done, 'I find myself inhaling deeply when my hands are close to

And

No.

Just me because this is the first soap I've used that has caused my wife to even

Okay.

Okay.

That was A'.

Good one.

Then one more before we get into the review.

We're reviewing.

My wife keeps sniffing me, says Just Jeff.

Five stars.

Love this product.

My wife loves it even more than 'I do.

I'm not quite used to her constantly sniffing me, but I'll get there.

'I, use this as A' bass and then build on it with A' Cologne keeps me smelling fresh all day.

'I love it so much that 'I have purchased it as A' gift for family.

And friends who in turn have purchased it as A' gift for their friends.

Wow.

So just Jeff really put me over the edge after 'I read that.

'I was like, I'm in.

I'm A'.

'I.

Have to buy this for try plus.

'I wanted you to be able to live.

Review it.

All right.

Now.

This is the review we're reviewing.

Okay.

This is A' two-star review.

'I got this review on target.com, however it was originally posted on duana.com.

You know how sometimes it.

Yeah, they

Yeah.

Okay.

So the, this is A' two-star review by anonymous soap reviewer.

But what 'I wanna point out is that anonymous soap reviewer had to name

Okay.

Because if you're just defaulted, just as anonymous.

So anonymous soap reviewer is intentional, intentionally.

So subject, Angela's great, and that's.

Mm-hmm.

'I bought this body wash from Target on A' whim because it smelled good and the price

'I wasn't just paying man tax for A' bottle of inferior soap just because it features aggressive

The claims about being three times thicker than teenage body wash instantly

Sure it comes out of the bottle thick, but I've definitely gotten better lather and

It disintegrated in my hands as soon as it touched the moisture from the steam of my.

And still somehow managed to leave A' slight film in its absence.

It smells great though.

And if that's all you care about, maybe just buy the cologne and

Yeah.

Okay, so that's the review we're reviewing.

After all that 'I know it was A' lot to get through, but what do

'I am so confused because, okay, so anonymous soap reviewer originally

Yes.

That's A'.

Lot of effort to go to like when you're displeased with the product,

So like there's no point in going to leave the review at Target.

So 'I guess 'I can see the point.

Right.

So they must have posted it on Duke Canon and then it just automatically copies over 'I would think

Do you think Duke Cannon is A' person's name?

It's like A' made up

Seems like it was written by the same PR person that wrote the rest of the pr Do.

Can it?

the like man tax comment.

Yeah.

Like 'I think as in response to the pink tax, which is A'

You know, this whole thing.

Yes.

'I don't know something about this whole, this whole, um,

Which is funny because like if they're like, if like,

'I mean it is gross.

'I feel like that's the like main topic of conversation is just that, like what, who,

Somebody that really wants to assert their masculinity.

'I.

Mean 'I.

Get that it smells good.

And if it smells good, that's kind of cool.

And there's like those dude.

Wipes that you're, that like are like baby wipes for guys.

So 'I guess maybe some guys don't feel comfortable just buying A' body wash and they like this extra

You know what 'I mean?

Yeah.

'I mean 'I.

Follow that line of thinking, but, but even anonymous soap reviewer, like

Now I'm starting to think like when 'I think of Old Spice and when 'I especially think of ax like,

Yes.

are like outrageously potent and smell.

I've never really like, why is that 'I?

Guess?

Because there's an idea that men smell bad or that men are

Or men sweat more than women 'I guess.

Right?

So 'I think that's like

think this product should be, should exist.

Like it's A' turn off to me, but like, but it

Well that's why 'I kind of like, thought it was like funny and

Like

Thrifty

'I.

Don't know how far we go, but yeah.

Thrifty, nifty.

Mommy is putting this sort of hyper-masculine item on the list.

Now 'I guess the argument could be, there were other items on the list.

Not everything was like so rugged.

'I kind of thought this was like the most ironic thing to get you because it just felt like, so

, it's A' natural product.

It doesn't have additives that like A', lot of people don't like and, and like they give back 'I.

Think there's A'.

Lot of core things about this company that are really good and that's why I'm almost curious

Marketing like hardcore marketing, which 'I, 'I think in A' way.

You have to respect because they clearly know their.

And they're clearly going for that.

And that's why 'I wanted to highlight some of the positive reviews, because A',

You know what 'I mean?

Like finally not, you know, whatever.

well that is

and it's silly,

Well, it is an interesting point cuz 'I, 'I would say culturally, at

It's like, so like 'I recognize, like saying that it is plant-based

Like that's not gonna really sell

not gonna resonate with this audience.

Right.

But then anonymous soap

A' Man's man.

To A' certain kind of man.

But to anonymous soaper viewer's point, it isn't actually thicker,

Maybe it's A' thick scent.

Well, 'I mean A'.

Lot of the other reviews that 'I read did comment that it was thick.

This was the only one that 'I read that said that it like wasn't as thick as what they used before.

So 'I don't know.

Maybe it needed A' shake or something.

Oh, that's A'.

Good idea.

'I.

Okay.

I'm also confused.

A', like, did they do like all this like market research?

Like how do they come up with the idea that thick is A' word that's

It kind of is

A' thick.

Like A' thick, dick

'I 'I

know.

It just feels right.

'I don't know.

It feels weird to me.

Like it thick feels like I've never thought about how thick is A'.

Weird word, thick.

Thick.

Okay, wait.

'I have A' question here.

So, okay, wait, this is body wash or is it shampoo.

This is body wash.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

Because 'I wrote down exfoliation cuz 'I was like, wait, you're not exfoliating

Got it.

Body wash.

Okay.

It's A' body wash.

Yeah.

'I mean, what do you think about this slight film residue that is so gross to me.

But 'I wonder if that's like A' moisturizer.

'I 'I mean, my feeling is that it, this needed A' shake or something.

Right?

Because if it's like, if you don't shake it, especially if it's like A' natural product,

Right.

And like what was that copy about the visco vis vis viscosity, A' gross word,

is such A', big word.

Does that make you wanna puke?

well that makes me think it probably does need to be shaken, 'I.

Wonder if it says that on the bottle.

Maybe we, we've like neglected to point out the obvious that 'I thought we were

So

Who is Angela?

Who the hell is Angela?

Well, yeah, 'I don't

great.

And that's about it.

Yeah.

What

Who is Angela

Who is it?

Who is it

Anonymous Super viewer.

Who is Angela?

Did you like, were you starting to send A' text message and then like realize

Like how does that even happen?

wait.

Is it Angela is or Angela was?

Angela A' Pastas.

Great.

So Angela's great.

And that's about it.

Angela.

what

Yeah.

'I.

Don't get A'.

Angela's

what does that even mean?

Who's Angela?

She doesn't come up at any other point in this review.

'I have no idea.

Yeah.

'I.

Don't know 'I mean.

That's why I'm thinking it's possible that anonymous super viewer made

Good old shake because there were many reviews that talked about like, wow.

Like when they say thick, they mean thick.

Which is why 'I am super curious to see what happens when

Well, I'm 'I.

Want it now?

'I want the world.

So I'm.

it in like four

'I am very caught up in this whole like brand, this whole like

And certainly there are people in this country and in this world that like

'I, clinging onto my identity, so.

Sure.

All right.

So let's go through the roster here.

So if I'm going off of anonymous soap review, Reading this review, it actually is pretty

Just Jeff.

Like what?

Like, like W Wooki or whatever it was like.

'I 'I kind of do.

I'm hearing that it, the actual viscosity, when you pour it, squirt it into your hand.

It doesn't seem thick, so that's confusing.

Also, anonymous.

So viewer also says that like, as soon as it runs through his hands, like it, it slept, slipped

Oh, you're right.

Oh,

Weird, right?

Yeah,

'I think it's valuable, cuz I'm hearing that maybe it's all

yeah.

'I mean 'I think it's valuable because 'I, like that anonymous Soaper viewer

Your aggressive block font says not for clowns on the bottle.

Like, okay.

Like hitting it A' little bit over the head.

Which 'I, think what?

For me at least when 'I was reading all these reviews was very refreshing cuz 'I was like,

Cuz it felt like for A' minute, like you're living in some sort of alternate universe where

We're, we've just come upon A' fraternity of people that are the same, or wives that are

They're the hottest guy in the fraternity.

You know what 'I

Yeah.

Wait, 'I missed that on the bottle actually, when 'I was looking at images not for clowns.

What does that mean?

'I mean 'I.

Think it's just A' clown 'I.

Don't know.

We can urban dictionary it, but 'I think.

A'.

It's obviously an insult.

Because they can't say not for faggots.

do you think that that's what it would say?

Well, what's the 'I?

'I mean?

'I.

Don't wanna say what's the opposite, but I'm like, if we're in black and white

Manly, man.

Just A', downright fool, someone who's who.

There's no other word for other than clown.

It explains how stupid they can be and how little you think about them.

Brad, I'm gonna funnel beer into my butt, like A' jackass, Brian.

Wow, dude, you're A' fucking clown.

Wait, what about the um, okay, that's insane.

Wait, remember the Okay Cupid review.

Remember?

There was A' word that 'I didn't know

Oh yeah.

they were like

Did 'I 'I not?

Yeah, they 'I.

Can't

it was something about being like pussy whooped or something.

Pu pussy

Yeah.

It was like, oh, wait, wait, wait.

It's coming to me.

Wait, wait, wait.

It's coming.

To me.

It like meant that they were like, um, A'.

Gimp.

Was it Gimp?

Emp?

sip.

Yeah.

'I had like never heard that.

Not for Semp.

Not for Sams.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

'I mean 'I will say that.

And even in looking at the bottle and like thick, like 'I, 'I do have the impression,

Like that comes across very strong to me.

So 'I am sort of hearing in the value of this review that perhaps maybe you.

That's all you're gonna get.

And their point was, we'll just get their cologne

Right.

Well, because even in this review, which was not A' one-star review, it was A' two-star review.

But even in this review, they're still giving credit to the set, which makes me super

right.

What do you think is spelling and grammar

'I think it was pretty good.

'I can't, 'I don't recall any errors

except for Angela?

for Angela.

Like what was that?

Very odd.

Truthful, shady.

'I think truthful, like from their perspective.

But 'I still 'I.

Don't know why 'I have A'.

Little bit of doubt

It honestly looks like mustard

It does.

doesn't.

The color of the bottle, like in the like flip top, like it just looks like

That's A'.

Little more round 'I.

Guess

it is A' little bit round, but it does.

It is very mustard esque thick.

This is one you're getting 'I.

Hope it's good.

does sawtooth mean?

Alpine air Cedarwood.

Oh, that sounds nice.

Doesn't that sound nice?

That's what I'm saying.

Like you think of this as marketed differently.

It could be like, that's why 'I got it Cuz 'I was like, 'I don't think it's gonna be A'.

Total waste, you know, might be good.

A' thick.

Sorry.

but 'I don't get why it's two-star.

Because it smells good.

Right?

'I guess that's true.

Well, if If anonymous soap reviewer didn't shake it, then 'I do think that

But it is sort of

think that it's possible that it's fluky.

But 'I also get that if, if the viscosity in your hand does not seem especially

It's literally huge block bold ass letters thick.

So like right, you would want it to be thick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

'I mean some people were saying that it was like even really, like it was so thick that

Are you kidding?

like one other, no.

So then they must have needed to shake it like that must be

'I mean, right?

Well, that's the only thing.

Unless, unless let's leave the possibility open that like maybe they got A' bad batch,

Oh, oh.

All right.

A' Humor.

Entertained 'I mean I'm very entertained about Angela

Yes, 'I, 'I.

Wanna know who Angela is?

'I think there's, there's some entertaining in here.

Maybe the man tax bit feels less funding now that you mentioned the pink tax, which

Oh, what do you, so what do you think they meant by man tax?

'I 'I, 'I thought he was just like, you know, pay, like 'I was saying before

because it's brand, right?

like you, you couldn't possibly walk out of there with A' dove body wash.

How embarrassing.

But thick

Oh my God.

'I mean

that's what 'I thought.

well.

Okay.

Since 'I, since 'I know 'I have this product coming to me, I'm exceedingly intrigued

Do think there is an impact for me from A' sober viewer because I'm starting to feel

like how much is, how much is the shtick and how much is the goods?

It's feeling A'.

Little hard.

Selly,

Right?

A'.

Thick sell.

will stick in A' selling.

Oh, well, 'I, I'm con, I'm A'.

Little

why.

To me, thick feels like such A' gross word.

It feels, it seems gross.

And I'm someone who likes penis.

So like

'I know.

con and so are you,

Same.

That's what 'I mean.

Like I'm like 'I.

Don't know why.

It's still like kind of gross, thick.

It just feels like every bad stereotype of hyper aggressive masculinity

'I know, but 'I wanna separate that feeling from anonymous Opre viewer,

you're right.

You're right, you're right.

Because, cause if anything, 'I feel like anonymous, sober viewers

correct?

'I, think we've like 'I, think we've given anonymous sober viewer

'I think 'I can crown this.

'I.

Think 'I think we can crown them.

All right,

Let's do

so ChelseyBD and 'I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards.

In an effort to be fair and not influenced in A' thickness by one another, stick

We will simultaneously, we will simul, we will simultaneously reveal our thicknesses.

The Queens are Tabulating.

A', Total, Score.

Okay.

Interesting, interesting.

So I'm holding up three crowns.

Trey, you're holding up four crowns.

Let us know why.

Four crowns for anonymous soap reviewer,

All right, so obviously 'I can't, yes.

So obviously 'I cannot make them A', Review, Queen, because 'I don't know who Angela is.

Unless this is about who's the boss, but 'I didn't get that anywhere else.

Wait, cuz Tony Danza from, who's the boss?

He was like really masculine, but he was the nanny.

Yeah.

And Judith Light's character's name was Angela.

A' stretch

Yeah.

'I think it is too.

though.

'I like it 'I like it as A' theory.

Yeah.

'I.

Do think that this is having A' lasting impact and 'I am going to be comparing

But you know, 'I am confused about.

Is it misogynistic?

The comment about man tax, I'm not sure, but ultimately I'm getting new valuable information.

It does appear to be truthful cause 'I don't know why.

Like they 'I don't think they're being shady.

They're just sort of saying it isn't what the bottle is saying.

'I was definitely entertained and confused, but 'I can't, you know, 'I need to know who Angela is.

So it can't be higher than four crowns for me.

So four crowns.

Why did you say three?

A' whole crown less.

You know, 'I, just 'I wasn't A' hundred percent sure if

Shake.

That was really where 'I had to take the crowns off cuz 'I was thinking, is this user error?

So that was where we lost me.

A' little bit.

Also, the man tax comment started to grade me the wrong way.

Obviously Angela, who's Angela as who brought up, but 'I thought that

It was refreshing.

Sea of reviews that seemed very homogenous.

This was A', little bit of A' different opinion, which 'I appreciated.

And ultimately 'I thought, you know, it was, it was A' little funny.

'I had A' little chuckle out of certain moments from it and 'I liked it enough.

And so A', little bit over average.

Three crowns,

Oh my God.

This whole episode is so wild to me.

You're so stupid.

'I, hope 'I didn't make edit editing more difficult for you,

Again, 'I feel terrible.

Well, everyone in real time just know that we are still so

So even though ChelseyBD is late, she's actually not late.

She's actually early.

Yes,

So think about that in the confusing matrix of what it is

Uh huh.

But 'I should have known better either way cuz you are

But you're off the hook cuz it's not even my birthday yet in real life, even

so 'I can make up for it.

Dick is gonna arrive in time.

And then the real gift 'I will get out tomorrow.

That one 'I think you're gonna actually like

All right.

Well, to be revealed.

to be determined.

Alright.

Wow, Queen.

That was quite A' journey we went on.

And now we've reached the last treat of the episode.

Who are you inducting?

Trey for?

My Royal.

All right.

'I.

Don't know how it has taken me this long to get to this product.

And I'm actually between products, so I'm going.

Induct the concept rather than an actual product because 'I am currently in A' clinical test over

Okay.

you heard about this?

No.

Okay, so 'I first recognized that 'I needed to get one of these products back when 'I

And the stage lights were so close, and that was A' play, where 'I was playing A' Drag Queen.

So 'I had really intensive makeup on, and 'I was very close to these like halogen.

Exceedingly hot lights.

So it actually was like very practical and 'I found A' product on Amazon.

It's called three B.

Neat.

And it's just like A', transparent, very thick.

Ve what's the word?

'I?

Can't say it.

Velos.

Velos.

What is the

Hi.

Velocity

No, the um, we talked about it in the review

Viscosity.

viscosity.

Why is that so hard?

It is like A' thick, transparent cream base.

It's not even cream.

The three be neat one.

It is like A' gel.

It literally like looks

A' petroleum jelly.

petroleum jelly.

You smear it all over your face and it like stops your face from sweating.

Incredible.

that after the makeup or you that always did it

Before, yeah, you do it like on A' clean face, so it basically like,

You put that on and then you do the makeup and then you don't sweat.

yeah, it's crazy.

Fascinating.

that was that.

So then at my job, I'm running around A' lot and so 'I was like, oh, 'I and 'I am

Like 'I am always drenched in sweat.

And 'I can be doing the same exact workout as David and he like Is A' dry as A'

Barely breaking A' sweat

literally and fiddles are very dry.

So, so then 'I got another bottle of this like years later and it wasn't

So then 'I started Googling, 'I went into this whole like rabbit hole and

So 'I think like the recipe or whatever is different.

So then 'I started getting all these targeted ads for this company called

Shampoo.

They have hand creams, feet creams, they have all the like facial creams, like deodorants

So it's A' competitor I'm assuming.

So 'I now have the Carpe, which 'I have been using for the last several months.

And 'I guess it works like 'I think it works.

Sometimes 'I will still be sweaty.

But anyway, 'I am A' face sweater and there are times when like 'I don't want that happening.

And just the fact that you can purchase A' product that 'I don't think it's hurting.

But like, Just like 'I, guess it's just blocking the pores.

And so 'I am assuming I'm sweating it out in other places, but whatever 'I am,

And if any listener out there knows.

What I'm talking about.

If they have A' similar experience and they have any opinions about this, please

And for this as my belated birthday episode, you have to help A' Boy out.

So for that reason, for My Royal Highness, 'I am inducting anti perspiration facial creams.

It sounds great.

Have you ever tried A' facial cream to stop you from.

'I use like A' blot sheet thing.

You know what I'm talking

those blue things?

yeah, but that's like after the makeup is already on, so it kind

So this is interesting to like put on before

No, no, no, because I'm like, 'I am like drenched beads of sweat from the

I'm not like perspiring.

I'm like full on

A'.

I'm more like David.

'I don't sweat that much, so I'm just like, A'.

Poop.

Do you have dry or you have oily skin or dry skin?

'I combination, sometimes combination.

Probably more oily.

yeah.

Cuz David's oily and I'm dry.

Well, who knows?

I'm not A' dermatologist.

But anyway.

Well, that's it.

My Queen.

We have

it.

the end of another, are you A' rq Ferris Wheel.

It was A' thick episode today, so thank you for joining us and sticking around.

If you like what you heard, please tell A' friend.

If you didn't like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

Support the production of our show.

Visit Review That Review dot com slash donate, or even A'.

$1 tip is much appreciated.

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with

And hit up our voice mailbox.

Have you ever tried TH 1850 review zero.

You can also follow us on all the socials at the Review Queen.

'I am at ChelseyBD

And 'I am at Trey Gerrald.

On today's after show Pod, we are gonna be rating A' five Trip Advisor

Oh God.

Do you know what that is?

'I don't.

But 'I have A' feeling.

I'm not gonna really know much.

don't know what the Westboro Baptist Church is

'I gonna be A', 'I, A', Christian.

A', Oza.

'I.

Don't.

'I.

Topeka, Kansas.

This is the god hates fags.com church.

Oh no.

'I.

Don't know anything about this.

Have you ever heard the phrase God hates fags

'I mean not like directly associated with one particular thing.

'I mean.

'I Know that like there's like people that say terrible things about gay people in

'I didn't know that.

It was like A' place.

Oh my God.

Oh, okay.

Well, the Westboro Baptist Church is A' Church in Topeka, Kansas.

It's basically one singular family.

The Phelp.

. It was founded by Fred Phelps and they become, they became very famous because their slogan, they

And anytime like when nine 11 happened,

A' hate group.

well, they're A' Church.

Are those two words different?

You decide, but they protested like all of the nine 11 funerals.

They protested all the Columbine

did 'I not hear about any 'I?

Don't 'I don't know how 'I didn't know about this.

'I don't know, but they certainly hate Jews too.

So

you know, that's not surprising.

we're gonna be writing A', reviewing A' five dot trip advisory review for this church.

So

Okay.

yeah, so to find out what made ChelseyBD say,

But, Ooh, 'I.

Don't know.

There's something so awkward about this.

Continue 'I and to find out what made Trey say.

if you had to guess, what do you think God actually does hate?

Then join our Patreon page at Review That Review dot com slash Patreon to hear our

Don't be A' fems.

Remember

the haters.

You are A' Queen.

Jen non-specific Queen.

Bye-bye.

like upset now about this review that's coming up, but I'll deal.

Well, it could be funny.

You'll have to listen to the app show and find out.

Yeah.

You as an independent podcast, certain names have been redacted or changed to protect

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora Vora, and our theme song was written by

Woo.

Happy birthday.

Happy belated birthday.

Sorry, 'I.

Missed it.

'I love.

Happy birthday A'.

Little day.

Happy.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, A'.

Little happy birthday.

Happy A'.

Happy, happy, happy.