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What we can learn from bad situations
Episode 1293rd August 2020 • Your Dream Business • Teresa Heath-Wareing
00:00:00 00:14:34

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This week’s episode is a little different to usual. I wanted to give you all a little update on what has been going on and some of the lessons I have taken from this situation. It is only a short one this week but I am going to rest up and be back next week. 

  • At some point in our lives, we will all have things happen that are beyond our control and we have to deal with, and it’s ok to stop and take in what has happened.
  • Sometimes we have to listen to our bodies and rest when we need to take time off.
  • Your health should be a priority.
  • When something bad happens, the only thing we can do is change how we react to it.
Life sometimes throws things your way that you can’t control, and unfortunately we all have to go through hard times and things that feel very unfair in our lives. The important thing is to remember that it is ok to take a break and listen to your body, your health has to be a priority and everyone will understand.
  • What’s been going on? 01:06
  • Dealing with bad situations 04:03
  • A lesson to takeaway 06:58
Transcript below


Welcome to this week's episode of the podcast. Now I need to warn you straight off. This is probably going to be the shortest ever episode that I've done. But when I started this podcast, I made a commitment to show up in your ears every single week, regardless of what had happened, regardless of how much work I have on. Because when you create content for people, when you want to help people through content, that's what you do. You make a commitment and you show up.


What’s been going on?


So when life gets a little bit busy and a little bit in the way, sometimes that can be a really tricky thing to do. And honestly, to say that life has got in the way over these past couple of weeks is a little bit of an understatement. So to kind of frame this, I, I wrote an email a couple of days ago to someone cause I had to rearrange something.

I'd made a commitment to record for inbound. I'm speaking at inbound this year and they'd had a delay from me anyway, getting the stuff from me cause because of stuff I'm going to talk about in a sec, but they'd already had this one delay and then I've been booked into record my, my session. And I had to email them and basically say, I'm so sorry, but something else has happened. And as I wrote the email for the first time in forever, I felt like I was one of those kids at school who was just making stuff up and you're like, Oh yeah, you couldn't get your homework in because of what reason now? Oh, whatever. Yeah. I believe you. Because honestly these last few weeks in my life it's felt like that a little bit. So these are all personal reasons and maybe this episode might be a little bit too much information. So I hope not.

But I mentioned last week that my mum had passed away. So about five, six weeks ago, we were given the diagnosis that she had got terminal cancer and completely out of nowhere, she just got poorly and passed away, which was a awful and you know, obviously kind of life changing experience. And then about a week into her, once she passed, we were helping my dad and, and running around and doing everything. And my sister and I. I'm one of three sisters, but my, my sister and I are probably both Enneagram threes and we jump into action and we've been doing all the organising and sorting everything out for the funeral and, and organising everything. And about a week into doing that, I then felt really unwell on Sunday night. And I'm recording this on Thursday right before you're listening on the Monday.

Um, so I'm really up against it, but it felt really weird on Sunday night. Anyway, got a very long story short ended up in hospital. Thank goodness for the British NHS. And I was given some tests and checks and it appeared, I'd got an acute apendicitis. So the same day, the Monday morning I was in hospital and then operated on and it's Thursday and I'm home. I got home yesterday and I'm recovering. And honestly it feels like, and I've made this stuff up. Like first your mom dies. Well, first she gets diagnosed. Then she passed away. Then you end up in hospital. It's like, how many more things can you be making up? And can I like, can I just say that one recording this episode is really awkward because I want to do it. I want to record an episode, but I know I needed to do something quickly because obviously I should be resting.


Dealing with bad situations


But secondly, I don't know about anybody else, but ever since working in corporate world and being a mom, I never like admitting any defeat of any sort. So I had a marriage breakdown. I didn't have a day off. I am very good at like, you know, caring on when things are tricky. And for me I feel really embarrassed and really, yeah, just embarrassed that I'm not well. And that a, I had to deal with the, you know, what happened with my mom and I'm still dealing with her and then I get in hospital and then I have to have a surgery. And then, you know, I came out yesterday and tomorrow I'm going to the funeral of my mom and, and it just, I feel really embarrassed. And I know that seems like a really stupid thing to say, but I do.

I like to see that I'm in control. I like to see that I'm organised that I'm, you know, that I'm not literally recording the podcast a few days for it has to go out and relying on my amazing team to get all this done for me. Uh, normally I am, you know, but, but I think the reason I wanted to do this, although I would have quite happily like kept it quiet and just recorded a normal episode. I did like little air quotes then you can't see it when I said normal, but the reason I think I wanted to say it is because it's some point in our lives, we will all have stuff like this happen. And when you run your own business, it's really hard. It's not a case of, do you know what? I'm going to take a few weeks off work. I'm going to put my head down and then I'll be back.

It's not that like, it gets separated lots, trying to do everything and manage everything has been really, really tough going. And I just wanted to kind of go, do you know what it's alight. Sometimes we have to. And yeah, I know that my very, very wise friend, Mary Hyatt said to me that this is your body making you stop. You need to stop. Now, you know, you you've been running around since your mom passed away. You've been doing all this stuff. You worked very hard. Anyway, this is your body going. Now you need to rest. And what's interesting as while I was in a hospital, there was a nurse that said exactly the same thing, which I find really interesting. But so for me, like I said, I think, I think I wanted to come on to go listen. Sometimes we need to listen to ourselves and listen to our bodies and we need to take that rest that we need to take.

And we need to take a bit of time off. And if that means doing a very short podcast or getting your husband to reply to some emails for you or whatever it might be, sometimes we have to do that because obviously what I've learned in these last few weeks is, is my health. And my family's health is far more important than the necessarily, you know, some of the other things I might have had in front of that list. So that was the one thing I wanted to say today. The other thing that was really interesting and, and you know, I try looking for lessons in everything and I am a true believer that even when things are not great, even when you're struggling to see what the not positive, cause I'm not saying there's always positive in something, but seeing what the lesson is in or what you can learn from it, it can feel really difficult in the moment.


A lesson to takeaway


But I had a really interesting kind of, I dunno, I guess lesson, when I was in hospital, I was sat in this bay and there was six women in this bay and I was probably one of the youngest there. And over the way from me sort of opposite me diagonally. So not the bed in front of me, but one to my right and one to my left, but facing me were two different women. And it was like, they were either ends of the spectrum and it was like, I was sat there and I was being given the choice. You can either be like her, or you can be like her. So on my right hand side was this lady I'm going to make up their names for their own privacy and name was Kath. And she was in because she had had trouble walking and she couldn't walk very well, but she was angry.

Okay. She was like livid with life. She shouted at everybody. She cried, she said she was tough and that she didn't cry. And then she cried and then she shouted at them when they didn't give her the right answer. She was angry with herself and she basically was fighting everything that was going on. She had a huge kind of, I don't want to say chip on her shoulder. Cause that sounds really mean, and like I'm judging her and I'm really not. I'm just literally taking their, their reactions, the sort of face value. But anyway, she was so angry, so frustrated, so fighting against everything, but not in a, I'm going to win this, in a why me type way. Um, and interestingly, you know, the reason I can identify with this is because I've come from a family of, you know, my mum was a bit of a martyr bless her and, and maybe would've dealt with it in the same way.

And I watched her and I watched how the nurses were with her. The staff were with her and how it made their life more difficult and they were trying to help, you know, what else are they there to do? And she was cross and angry and it just made the whole experience really, really upsetting for everybody, not just for her, but for the staff, but for people around. Everyone was sort of like kind of looking like, Oh gosh, what's going on every time she shouted at someone. And of course, as you well know those bays, they put the curtain right. It's not sound proof, right. Obviously, you know the curtain comes for their privacy, but you can hear everything whether you want to or not. So anyway, she really struggled. I was really angry and, and like I said, it was really unhappy and I'm not, you know, like I said, no judgement. It was just interesting.

And then across the way to my left, opposite me was this beautiful soul called Ann. Oh this lady by the way was probably early sixties. This, this one to the right, the right lady to my left was 86. Right. She had the most debilitating looking arthritis I've ever seen. And in a family that has had arthritis, I am used to seeing sort of my Nan's hands and my mom's hands, this poor lady, the stuff she could hardly do with the hands was unbelievable. She was in there because she got some problem with her feet and she was very likely to be getting her feet amputated, which kind of, it just blows my mind from a gosh that's horrendous. She was eight six, she'd just stopped driving a few weeks ago. She lived on her own. Her daughter lived fairly close by. She had a nice relationship with the husband, died years ago. And she was the loveliest, most nicest woman ever. She chatted. She was kind, if she didn't understand, she asked them to repeat themselves. She wasn't cross with them. And I spoke to her and had a bit of a chat with her and sort of said, you know, this must be absolute terrifying.

And it obviously was, and she's like, I don't know what I'll do, but I'll work it out. But it wasn't like, you know, I'm going to fight this angry. It was a, you know, this has been dealt with me and I'm gonna, I'm going to find a way to make that work. But the point was, she wasn't, it wasn't anybody's fault. It wasn't, you know, obviously I'm going to get this. Obviously there was no, martyrism nothing. She just literally was taking it all in her stride and was just, I guess, taking what she'd gotten, just going, okay, how are we going to make the best of this? And it just blew me away that this woman at that age had obviously been through an awful lot of stuff in her life could still think like that. And it just reminded me a really, really strong reminder that, you know, what? We're given what we're given, whether we like it or not, sometimes it's brilliant, which is ACE. And sometimes it's, but the only thing that we can possibly do is change how we react to it. And I'm not saying, and it's easy to do. Cause I don't think for one second, it is easy to do when life is hard and it throws absolute massive curve balls you. But if you can, then it's gotta be a nicer experience for you and for the people around you. So, so there you go. The weirdest, the shortest podcast ever, I just wanted to come on.

Cause like I said, I didn't want to let you down. I don't wanna let myself down. I didn't want to not put out a podcast. I am listening to my book and I am going to take it easy for obviously I've got the funeral tomorrow and then I'm gonna take it easy this weekend. And then I'm hoping that with a bit of rest and relaxation, I'll be ready to get back to it next week, which I am really looking forward to because as you know, I love what I do. It's very sad, but it does make me very happy. So I am looking forward to getting sorted and feeling more like myself, more upbeat, more sort of physically well. Also, if you're new to the podcast, please do think this is when it's normally, like, I promise you, I give you so much good stuff. You have lots of good marketing and business knowledge and I've got a great interview coming for you next week. You're going to love this one. So anyway, I will leave you to it. I will go back to my bed, to recover and I look forward to seeing you all next week.




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