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Unknown: 00:00:05

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:00:07

experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very happy and

Unknown: 00:00:12

excited to have Michael Koplow. With me today, it is an honor to

Unknown: 00:00:18

have him here because I was able to see what his mission is all

Unknown: 00:00:24

about what he's trying to make people aware of. And I just, I'm

Unknown: 00:00:31

just so very touched about what Michael is doing, it is very

Unknown: 00:00:36

important work, we will dive into what Michael is doing in a

Unknown: 00:00:41

second here. But to start with, I want to remind you that yeah,

Unknown: 00:00:46

we're all in this together, we're going through intense

Unknown: 00:00:49

stuff at the moment, and it is not fun. It is not fun. There's

Unknown: 00:00:56

lots of uncertainty, lots of pain, lots of unvoluntary change

Unknown: 00:01:01

that is being forced upon us. And before COVID, there was

Unknown: 00:01:09

people struggling already. So think about what COVID Now

Unknown: 00:01:13

amplified and more pain it brought in. I must say, though,

Unknown: 00:01:20

that COVID also brought a lot of beauty and like extraordinary

Unknown: 00:01:26

people out, you know, there's people who are under pressure

Unknown: 00:01:31

fooled, and just go into fetal position and are numb. And

Unknown: 00:01:37

there's other people who rise up to the challenges and see that

Unknown: 00:01:45

they have something inside of them, to support others to give

Unknown: 00:01:50

others hope. And I want to say I don't really know Michael yet, I

Unknown: 00:01:55

will get to know him a little better. But he is one of those

Unknown: 00:01:59

warriors who during COVID times was able to create something

Unknown: 00:02:04

that brings incredible value to our society. So welcome to the

Unknown: 00:02:10

show. I'm honored to be speaking to you today, Michael, if you

Unknown: 00:02:15

would like to Yeah, introduce yourself a little bit and share

Unknown: 00:02:19

your story with us. The more you go into detail, the better it

Unknown: 00:02:25

is, of course, but you stay in your comfort zone. Yeah, I would

Unknown: 00:02:30

love to know, what led you to this beautiful mission that you

Unknown: 00:02:35

are pursuing today.

Unknown: 00:02:38

Well, first of all, thank you for your beautiful introduction.

Unknown: 00:02:42

I appreciate that. And yeah, I can appreciate you highlighting

Unknown: 00:02:48

a little bit more extreme of difficult times for people post

Unknown: 00:02:55

COVID. Right. Obviously, everybody's going through

Unknown: 00:02:57

something that's kind of a natural human experience prior

Unknown: 00:03:00

to COVID. But yeah, I think the like how you worded it, right,

Unknown: 00:03:05

the the aptitude the level, it's definitely increased. So insane,

Unknown: 00:03:10

that my experience has actually kind of, I want to say, you

Unknown: 00:03:19

know, almost exploded since COVID, in a positive way. My

Unknown: 00:03:24

spiritual journey has very opened up, my spiritual journey

Unknown: 00:03:27

has started through addiction. I'm a recovering alcoholic

Unknown: 00:03:32

addict myself. And I first walked through the doors of

Unknown: 00:03:39

recovery in 2008. And had a three years of sobriety got away

Unknown: 00:03:48

from it, and continued to back to that old lifestyle of

Unknown: 00:03:53

drinking and using and everything that comes with it

Unknown: 00:03:56

right ultimately, ultimately pain for me and everybody around

Unknown: 00:04:00

me, right watching. And then through enough pain, you know,

Unknown: 00:04:04

walking back through the doors again of recovery and through a

Unknown: 00:04:09

spiritual process. You know, getting well I use the word

Unknown: 00:04:16

spiritually fit. And, and for a number of years. And, you know,

Unknown: 00:04:24

part of my story is getting away from it again, and returning to

Unknown: 00:04:30

the drink and the drug and to simplify me returning to that

Unknown: 00:04:35

drinking the drug. There's a spiritual walk that was

Unknown: 00:04:39

presented to me through a process of the 12 steps that

Unknown: 00:04:46

gave me a foundation and as we live human beings, there's a

Unknown: 00:04:53

fulfillment I think that we all seek, not just with addicts and

Unknown: 00:04:58

alcoholics And that fulfillment has started being filled in

Unknown: 00:05:05

recovery right and however you want to word it, whether you use

Unknown: 00:05:09

God higher power source the universe, something bigger than

Unknown: 00:05:14

me, right creator that had filled the void. But it's a

Unknown: 00:05:20

daily thing, right and the shiny things of the world would grab

Unknown: 00:05:25

my attention, money, material stuff, relationships. And that's

Unknown: 00:05:31

where I would steer off. So I've mentioned twice going back to

Unknown: 00:05:36

the drink and the drug life got good. And I really got separated

Unknown: 00:05:44

from my true self and got caught up in the worldly things. And

Unknown: 00:05:51

and that was had been my downfall so insane that by no

Unknown: 00:05:56

reason, am I saying there's nothing wrong with just with

Unknown: 00:06:00

succeeding in life, having nice things being successful

Unknown: 00:06:05

financially materialistically all that there's nothing wrong

Unknown: 00:06:09

with that. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a cop out of

Unknown: 00:06:12

not saying to be successful in life, but it's what my motives

Unknown: 00:06:15

are behind it, right? What is really going on here, right? So,

Unknown: 00:06:21

you know, I talked about some obsessions of you know, car

Unknown: 00:06:24

money, even physical, you know, I was addicted to the gym and

Unknown: 00:06:29

would get into trying to think of a better word, but I guess

Unknown: 00:06:34

they're just gonna say like stereos steroids and, and, you

Unknown: 00:06:39

know, those, those enhancements a artificial enhancements, is

Unknown: 00:06:43

trying to fill this inner void, right. So there's nothing wrong

Unknown: 00:06:46

with working out in the gym and being healthy, right? So they're

Unknown: 00:06:48

wrong with having a nice car. It's nothing wrong with having a

Unknown: 00:06:51

nice relationship. There's nothing wrong with being

Unknown: 00:06:53

financially secure. But what I found out as a common

Unknown: 00:06:56

denominator is we tend to go after those things in extreme we

Unknown: 00:07:02

all know the disease of more, right? I need more, it's never

Unknown: 00:07:05

enough, right? I have this vision if I have that, I'll be

Unknown: 00:07:09

happy, right? And, and I strive and I strive and I grind it out,

Unknown: 00:07:15

and I'm manipulating and maybe even lying, and so me, I can't

Unknown: 00:07:20

keep doing that stuff. Eventually, I'm gonna drink

Unknown: 00:07:22

because I burn out inside I self hatred might be extreme, but I

Unknown: 00:07:28

like the term. I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex

Unknown: 00:07:34

problem. So I'm trying to build this ego, right? I'm trying to

Unknown: 00:07:38

build this outside stuff, but inside the more I do that, the

Unknown: 00:07:41

more though I feel about myself, right, the low self esteem the,

Unknown: 00:07:46

the just the insecurities pile up and the self worth pile up.

Unknown: 00:07:51

So insane all that I'm trying to relate to, you know, addicts and

Unknown: 00:07:59

alcoholics because that seems to be a common denominator. I think

Unknown: 00:08:02

as human beings we all can relate to that but I find the

Unknown: 00:08:05

experience of alcoholics and addicts it's usually that's an

Unknown: 00:08:09

extreme level right? It's just it's there's no balance right?

Unknown: 00:08:14

It's just all or nothing and and so you know, this last couple

Unknown: 00:08:19

years my foundation of spiritual way of living is you know, it's

Unknown: 00:08:25

always been recovery you know, there's spiritual principles

Unknown: 00:08:31

that I practice and and I grow from that right but it's a daily

Unknown: 00:08:35

thing and something like I like to try to simplify for people

Unknown: 00:08:38

it's like you know, I've had this concept of you know, I've

Unknown: 00:08:42

been sober for a few years and I've sponsored people and I've

Unknown: 00:08:46

done this and I've done that you know, putting on step groups and

Unknown: 00:08:49

I've done all this stuff and I almost say that I've kind of

Unknown: 00:08:53

I've gained a spiritual bankroll you know, I look at our good

Unknown: 00:08:57

I've done in the last year and a half let Mikey little Mikey you

Unknown: 00:09:02

know, 10 do himself for a bit right, you know, selfish and

Unknown: 00:09:07

we're all selfish but like I said, it can get to extreme

Unknown: 00:09:10

levels as an addict and alcoholic and so I start to feel

Unknown: 00:09:16

those selfish needs are what I think I need and not to get away

Unknown: 00:09:22

from what I was saying. Yeah, kind of bankrolling this you

Unknown: 00:09:25

know, I've done all this stuff. So I for me, I have to say, What

Unknown: 00:09:30

am I doing today for my spiritual well being right? It's

Unknown: 00:09:35

a daily thing for me. So this may sound extreme, but I tell

Unknown: 00:09:39

myself it doesn't matter what I did. Yes. Doesn't matter how

Unknown: 00:09:42

connected I was with my higher self, my source I did use the

Unknown: 00:09:46

word God. But whatever resonates for you, doesn't matter how

Unknown: 00:09:51

connected I was, what I was doing to help others. I tell

Unknown: 00:09:56

myself doesn't matter what yesterday it's what am I doing

Unknown: 00:09:59

today? Right So, I think that kind of glaze over the gist of

Unknown: 00:10:05

kind of my life prior in the middle. Today, it's kind of,

Unknown: 00:10:12

there's all or nothing, right? I use this analogy is like, you

Unknown: 00:10:19

know, my spiritual journey I had this long leash for a while

Unknown: 00:10:22

where I could, you know, steer off and I've mentioned, you

Unknown: 00:10:24

know, the shiny stuff, you know, getting away into self centered

Unknown: 00:10:29

stuff, you know, whether I'm lying or, or just doing things

Unknown: 00:10:33

that are crossing that internal boundary and other people's

Unknown: 00:10:36

boundaries, right? It's that leaves for me today, it's so

Unknown: 00:10:41

tight, like I can't afford to steer off. So, you know, a lot

Unknown: 00:10:46

of people we have grace, right. And I mean, I certainly have a

Unknown: 00:10:49

level of grace and human, I'm not perfect, but it's very

Unknown: 00:10:53

tightened up. So I'm very focused of my recovery, my

Unknown: 00:10:57

spiritual way of linear living, it's really, it's really all or

Unknown: 00:11:00

nothing. So I gotta be all in today. For me. I'm certainly not

Unknown: 00:11:05

speaking for everybody in recovery. Everybody has their

Unknown: 00:11:07

own journey. So it's kind of cool, you know, to get into

Unknown: 00:11:12

where I'm at today, if someone is to ask, you know, what's

Unknown: 00:11:16

different for you to you know, you mentioned about being sober

Unknown: 00:11:19

before. What's different? You know, there's a lot of people

Unknown: 00:11:22

are skeptical, I had years of sobriety before. So it doesn't

Unknown: 00:11:25

really matter what I say to a lot of people, it's, I have to

Unknown: 00:11:28

show them. But if somebody is to ask me what is different, I have

Unknown: 00:11:32

a deeper surrender. I have an effortless more of an effortless

Unknown: 00:11:38

way about my life, I'm more present. And careful with

Unknown: 00:11:44

somebody new in recovery, and St. Effortless because there is

Unknown: 00:11:47

things we need to do.

Unknown: 00:11:50

You build this foundation. So I feel through that process that

Unknown: 00:11:55

I've gone through, I do have that foundations built a little

Unknown: 00:11:58

bit better than it was when I first walked into recovery. So

Unknown: 00:12:02

my way of life is a little bit more effortlessly, and I watch

Unknown: 00:12:05

things as they come, right. So things come to me a little bit

Unknown: 00:12:07

more, I'm able to be more present and separate myself from

Unknown: 00:12:13

those selfish attitudes or you know, needs or wants, or the

Unknown: 00:12:17

things I shared or better do this, and I better do that. I'm

Unknown: 00:12:20

more. Okay, today with me. And so when I say that, you know,

Unknown: 00:12:28

I'm involved in recovery. You know, one of my main goals of

Unknown: 00:12:32

being in recovery is to help the other suffering alcoholic

Unknown: 00:12:35

addict, right. As I've been been helped by so many, like,

Unknown: 00:12:39

amazingly, I could, you know, fill an hour easily of what

Unknown: 00:12:43

people have done for me and supported me, right, like it's

Unknown: 00:12:46

got to be highlighted. So this is just kind of given back,

Unknown: 00:12:49

right. It's not really about me in a way. Because I've been so

Unknown: 00:12:54

freely given. So insane that. Yeah, just through some events,

Unknown: 00:13:00

I was able to, I had an opportunity to do some outreach

Unknown: 00:13:05

work for an organization in my town. It's actually a local

Unknown: 00:13:10

organization in the Fraser Valley, but there's branches.

Unknown: 00:13:14

And I think I'm okay saying PCRs. So Pacific Community

Unknown: 00:13:19

Resource Center, and they offer all kinds of things like

Unknown: 00:13:22

counseling and low income housing programs, around like

Unknown: 00:13:28

the homeless and and drug addiction. But we did this. And

Unknown: 00:13:32

then I was involved in doing outreach. That was what I was

Unknown: 00:13:34

attracted in helping them doing this outreach in the homeless

Unknown: 00:13:40

aspect that we have, which has grown I think everywhere,

Unknown: 00:13:43

definitely in the Fraser Valley, definitely in my community. So

Unknown: 00:13:48

I've reached out to them and just connecting with the people

Unknown: 00:13:51

on the streets with the mode of if there's any chance of helping

Unknown: 00:13:55

anybody, right. So in doing that, they came to me PCRs and

Unknown: 00:14:01

today we're doing a project about getting awareness. We're

Unknown: 00:14:05

all aware of the the the addiction pandemic, the opioid

Unknown: 00:14:09

crisis, the overdose crisis on the street level, we all can see

Unknown: 00:14:13

it daily, right. But there's been a spike, post COVID behind

Unknown: 00:14:20

closed doors and overdoses. So I did do a three video series. One

Unknown: 00:14:28

was just kind of a trailer of what we were getting at. So the

Unknown: 00:14:35

second video was to paramedics that showed their story of going

Unknown: 00:14:39

into homes where overdoses has happened, right. And we're

Unknown: 00:14:43

targeting the 25 to 45 year old male aspect, which I fit in

Unknown: 00:14:49

because although I was close to being on the street, I'm

Unknown: 00:14:53

fortunate enough where I've always had a roof over my head

Unknown: 00:14:55

for the most part. So I fit that category right as the attic

Unknown: 00:15:00

somewhat functioning, you know, I'm still hanging on to my job

Unknown: 00:15:03

by strings at the end. And so we targeted that category. And so

Unknown: 00:15:10

with the paramedics did a video on it that video. And I'm

Unknown: 00:15:15

definitely getting better at it but very video shy, and there's

Unknown: 00:15:18

a lot of root insecurities that stem right from a child right

Unknown: 00:15:23

fear of what people think of me fear of not being liked fear of

Unknown: 00:15:27

failing and not to get off track. But I'm well aware of

Unknown: 00:15:31

that stuff today through inventories and have processes,

Unknown: 00:15:36

right, check that and challenge that stuff to be right. But

Unknown: 00:15:40

anyway, back to the fear of being on video. Yeah, I was a

Unknown: 00:15:43

little nervous about it. But it went well. And how did why did

Unknown: 00:15:47

it go? Well, from my point, because I just suited up and

Unknown: 00:15:50

showed up, right? There's, there's, I just gotta be honest,

Unknown: 00:15:54

right? open minded and willing, right. And so we did this video,

Unknown: 00:15:59

and the local paper did an article on it. And it got a

Unknown: 00:16:03

little bit of buzz in the community. And I got a lot of

Unknown: 00:16:05

positive feedback. And, and I enjoyed the process, I enjoyed

Unknown: 00:16:11

the experience. So in saying that probably about there is

Unknown: 00:16:17

from when we recorded the video to where it actually went out to

Unknown: 00:16:20

the public was probably about a three month span. So I had some

Unknown: 00:16:24

time with it. And probably about a month after the video was like

Unknown: 00:16:26

released into the public forum like YouTube and the paper

Unknown: 00:16:29

editor pro sets, like I mentioned before, I have a

Unknown: 00:16:33

routine idea in the mornings ready to do some readings and

Unknown: 00:16:37

some meditating. And this thought come to my mind kind of

Unknown: 00:16:44

creating a show of highlighting the positive aspect of recovery.

Unknown: 00:16:49

And I know of a program that's out there and I watch it that

Unknown: 00:16:55

the root of it is a positive thing for sure I can never take

Unknown: 00:16:58

that way away from it. But it really focuses on the the

Unknown: 00:17:03

negativity of an addict alcoholic. And that's kind of

Unknown: 00:17:06

the whole show showing this part. And there's maybe five

Unknown: 00:17:10

minutes of, you know, coming together and trying to help this

Unknown: 00:17:14

addict and then you know, the credits at the end of the show,

Unknown: 00:17:18

you know that you kind of see that they make it or did they

Unknown: 00:17:21

not make it right, and there's very little of the positive end

Unknown: 00:17:24

of it. And, and other than that, I haven't seen a lot of stuff

Unknown: 00:17:29

focusing on the positive rate, we all know the negative, like,

Unknown: 00:17:32

every which way and it touches everybody lives, right. So this

Unknown: 00:17:36

concept, and then, you know, I have patterns of obsessing about

Unknown: 00:17:41

things, right, and these great ideas. And so after a day of

Unknown: 00:17:45

kind of excited about this idea, and maybe sharing it with a few

Unknown: 00:17:48

people that are close to me, I just kind of let it be, you

Unknown: 00:17:51

know, might Yeah, right, you're gonna make a TV show? Yeah,

Unknown: 00:17:54

you're gonna make a TV show and kind of chuckled about it. And I

Unknown: 00:17:58

let it be. And then, you know, a week or so I continued to get

Unknown: 00:18:02

these nudges, I started writing things down. Like, you know, how

Unknown: 00:18:06

I would lay it out some questions of, you know, what is

Unknown: 00:18:11

it about? Right, and, you know, really briefly, you know, some

Unknown: 00:18:19

of those questions, you know, what is what would it be about?

Unknown: 00:18:24

You know, why did I decide to make the show? What is it mean,

Unknown: 00:18:27

to me personally? Who is the show intended for? Why is it

Unknown: 00:18:31

important for a show to be made like this, right? And what is my

Unknown: 00:18:35

goal of making a show and so it's neat to see these things

Unknown: 00:18:39

kind of come together because I believe they are kind of

Unknown: 00:18:42

divinely, you know, guided right, and this intuition that I

Unknown: 00:18:47

think many of us can relate to right when we get connected get

Unknown: 00:18:50

awake. So that was cool. And I shared it with a few people and

Unknown: 00:18:55

I got some polite smiles great idea. Great idea. And once

Unknown: 00:18:59

again, it was like yeah, you know, and part of me is like,

Unknown: 00:19:05

means the mainstream TV as far as our as far as I believe that

Unknown: 00:19:10

only he's going to show something like that right? You

Unknown: 00:19:12

don't see spirituality talk of God or a higher power you don't

Unknown: 00:19:17

see that stuff. And so I just kind of let it be again. And

Unknown: 00:19:22

then I was needed some more so I shot it out to a few contacts

Unknown: 00:19:25

like the PCRs and couple people that I knew of it do filming

Unknown: 00:19:32

right for their profession, just kind of some small time stuff,

Unknown: 00:19:36

right and some other people that I thought might be interested

Unknown: 00:19:39

and got positive feedback and ultimately just came down when

Unknown: 00:19:42

you'd need some funds to get something like this going right

Unknown: 00:19:45

and, and I can I can support that at this moment. You know,

Unknown: 00:19:49

raising the family and just with the cost of living today, right?

Unknown: 00:19:52

So just kind of put it on the back burner again. And But a

Unknown: 00:19:57

month later, a friend of mine has been A friend of mine for

Unknown: 00:20:00

years, but we haven't been really close lately.

Unknown: 00:20:04

He's not in recovery. But he's on a spiritual journey himself

Unknown: 00:20:08

too, right? Pretty awake and connected. And so he reached

Unknown: 00:20:13

back to me, and he's like, Dude, he's like, I keep getting nudged

Unknown: 00:20:16

about this nanny got something here, right. And this is just be

Unknown: 00:20:20

such a positive thing for the times. And so he goes, I'd be

Unknown: 00:20:24

willing to put a promo video with you together and just

Unknown: 00:20:28

highlight the motive behind this, the ideas and assuming

Unknown: 00:20:33

it's like a GoFundMe page up and just see what we can do. So

Unknown: 00:20:38

yeah, we launched that the day you and me connected. And, you

Unknown: 00:20:42

know, we're over halfway, we wrote down a budget, what we

Unknown: 00:20:45

thought and while that budget is is I mean, for me, being in

Unknown: 00:20:49

recovery, in that there's no money motivation behind it

Unknown: 00:20:53

recovery, once you mix my business, my experience, and I

Unknown: 00:20:57

know we have a whole professional field and the level

Unknown: 00:20:59

and that's not my experience, and I'm not knocking it, I know

Unknown: 00:21:02

nothing about it very little about it. But in my experience,

Unknown: 00:21:06

you can't mix money with recovery. It just, it just

Unknown: 00:21:10

doesn't work. That's my experience. So I'm not saying,

Unknown: 00:21:15

you know, there's lots of teachers and stuff like that out

Unknown: 00:21:17

there. I just know, for me, I think if I start mixing those

Unknown: 00:21:22

two together, I'm in trouble. So it's not about money for me, my

Unknown: 00:21:29

partner involved in the project. I mean, he, I feel and he said

Unknown: 00:21:36

to like, you know, like, I do this as a job, right. So it's

Unknown: 00:21:39

for production costs travel. And I'd like to compensate the

Unknown: 00:21:44

guests a little bit right. For their time, and, you know, maybe

Unknown: 00:21:48

meals for the day and stuff like that. So that's kind of where we

Unknown: 00:21:53

got that budget from people might be asking, Where's this

Unknown: 00:21:56

number coming from? Why, right. And so it's something I really

Unknown: 00:21:59

want to highlight, you know, that's where that number is

Unknown: 00:22:02

coming from, right? There's some rental costs too, because he

Unknown: 00:22:07

doesn't have everything we need, as in the sense of multiple mics

Unknown: 00:22:12

and stuff like that. So we've, we've sat down, we've like, you

Unknown: 00:22:15

know, put some thought to this. Right. Um, it's not completely

Unknown: 00:22:18

being winged. But yeah, so it's, I've gotten a lot of positive

Unknown: 00:22:24

feedback. And like I said, we're kind of halfway there on the

Unknown: 00:22:27

budget. Yeah, I'll just kind of keep riding the wave. So I think

Unknown: 00:22:32

I'll probably take a break from talking now and let you share a

Unknown: 00:22:36

little bit

Unknown: 00:22:38

i Yeah, this is crazy. I mean, I knew this conversation was gonna

Unknown: 00:22:45

be good but you you're really blowing me away and thank you

Unknown: 00:22:51

just from an outsider's perspective, like I can see

Unknown: 00:22:54

clear as day why you had to keep going through suffering and pain

Unknown: 00:23:01

and getting yourself out of it again, because I see you I feel

Unknown: 00:23:07

your energy as a leader and as a healer. And as someone who's

Unknown: 00:23:13

going to bridge the gap and you know, help people understand

Unknown: 00:23:20

addiction better people who are you know, not not close in

Unknown: 00:23:25

contact with addiction, but maybe you know, I feel in every

Unknown: 00:23:29

family there is an addict or someone who wants to break out

Unknown: 00:23:35

of the system and be a pioneer. And you understand these

Unknown: 00:23:39

precious beings better. And what I also see in you is that you

Unknown: 00:23:44

can be a fierce leader of youngsters. So not only people

Unknown: 00:23:51

who are struggling already and helping them to recover but the

Unknown: 00:23:55

way you speak you are so like open and honest with your stuff

Unknown: 00:24:01

with your dark side that most people who never went through

Unknown: 00:24:07

intense pain or addiction they don't have that access to those

Unknown: 00:24:15

feelings and and you are so authentic and real with your

Unknown: 00:24:22

pain that I was really close to be crying here. I know that

Unknown: 00:24:29

we'll be able like that tool can be used to help people who are

Unknown: 00:24:36

you know, maybe still before the state of drifting off you know,

Unknown: 00:24:41

they still have a decision to make or am I go with the big

Unknown: 00:24:45

money and the bling bling or want to go into into depth and

Unknown: 00:24:52

do I want to get to know myself better before I make any

Unknown: 00:24:55

decisions in so I can see all this in you. It is just a matter

Unknown: 00:25:04

of time for you to see it yourself. And I'm, I'm so

Unknown: 00:25:09

excited about Yeah, the ideas that you have there. And I feel

Unknown: 00:25:15

it's, it's time like, don't wait, don't waste any time and

Unknown: 00:25:20

don't self doubt. Don't wait for too much approval from the

Unknown: 00:25:24

outside. You just need a small wolf pack that you can rely on.

Unknown: 00:25:32

And then and then go ahead because your energy is needed

Unknown: 00:25:37

out there. And yeah, it's it's very precious what you shared

Unknown: 00:25:42

already with us. I have one question. When it comes to

Unknown: 00:25:49

addiction, like, or let's just speak about your your

Unknown: 00:25:54

experience, because you said it is your self worth it is your,

Unknown: 00:25:59

your, like you have a complex not being seen and understood or

Unknown: 00:26:04

not feeling worthy. Do you sometimes go back and time and

Unknown: 00:26:10

try to rewrite your story like to know that? Yes, you went

Unknown: 00:26:18

through the pain back then you made conclusions about yourself

Unknown: 00:26:22

that are not correct anymore? And how to let those go. How to

Unknown: 00:26:29

redefine yourself. Are you like, can you relate?

Unknown: 00:26:35

Oh, yeah. 100%? Yeah, I can answer that question. Beautiful

Unknown: 00:26:42

question. By the way. I touched it briefly in the sense of I can

Unknown: 00:26:49

go back obviously, being at that young age, then not

Unknown: 00:26:52

understanding what's going on. But I can look back. And one of

Unknown: 00:26:56

the great things about a recovery process is doing I call

Unknown: 00:27:01

it an inventory, right. So we were diving deep, and it's not

Unknown: 00:27:05

so much. I mean, you've got to start by looking at the things

Unknown: 00:27:10

that we've done the way we've reacted to things and the way

Unknown: 00:27:13

we've acted out. That's the surface stuff, right? And And

Unknown: 00:27:16

for sure, we have to start there. But then it's like

Unknown: 00:27:20

getting under it right. And so through some inventory work and

Unknown: 00:27:23

from finally turning in, and I'll say this not to get off to

Unknown: 00:27:27

answering your question, but I think it's helpful for others, a

Unknown: 00:27:30

huge turning point in my life. And I think this is for any

Unknown: 00:27:33

human being not just an alcoholic or addict. turning

Unknown: 00:27:37

point for me, I'm getting shivers. As I say this my whole

Unknown: 00:27:41

life for most of my youth life, I was pointing my finger out

Unknown: 00:27:45

there, you know, if that changed, I'd be better whether

Unknown: 00:27:47

it's the relationship, the boss, I had more money, a new place to

Unknown: 00:27:52

live, if that guy pissed off and left me alone, and on and on.

Unknown: 00:27:55

And I did that for 30 years. So a huge turning point for me, was

Unknown: 00:28:01

looking inside, right, and really grasping the concept of

Unknown: 00:28:06

nothing outside of me needs to change, I need to change. My

Unknown: 00:28:10

perception needs to change, I have a disease, let's start to

Unknown: 00:28:14

mind. And then maybe many people can relate to this, let's say

Unknown: 00:28:18

disease, because I mean, I was in need of a psychic change.

Unknown: 00:28:22

Right? So to go back to asking your beautiful question, I can

Unknown: 00:28:27

look back through this process of inventory work. And remember

Unknown: 00:28:31

when I was five and six years old, and you know, being so self

Unknown: 00:28:37

conscious of my looks and what people thought of me, and I know

Unknown: 00:28:40

I mentioned this stuff, so just bear with me. Fear of failing

Unknown: 00:28:44

and fear of what people thought of me I was there's so many

Unknown: 00:28:47

fears of what everybody was thinking and, you know, a

Unknown: 00:28:52

professional level can relate that stuff, like social anxiety

Unknown: 00:28:56

and stuff like that. So I'm just going to try to simplify it for

Unknown: 00:29:00

me out was easy for me to understand. And that stuff just

Unknown: 00:29:05

grew, right. It just grew. I believe that. And I'm not

Unknown: 00:29:10

putting blame on anybody because everybody goes through this

Unknown: 00:29:12

stuff. But you know, when somebody said, Mike, you're

Unknown: 00:29:15

chubby, I mean, I, I that goes grew in me right? Or, you know,

Unknown: 00:29:20

anything negative. Like, here's a simple way of saying it. You

Unknown: 00:29:23

know, there was a time in my life where I could spit off 1000

Unknown: 00:29:27

insults or at least what I precepted to be insults I ban

Unknown: 00:29:33

how many compliments can i lay out? Do you think I never got

Unknown: 00:29:39

compliments? Of course I did. Maybe even more. But I wasn't I

Unknown: 00:29:44

didn't believe them. Believe the insults I believe. I believe the

Unknown: 00:29:48

negative stuff and half of that negative stuff. You know when I

Unknown: 00:29:51

say 1000 You know insults or situations. Half of them

Unknown: 00:29:58

probably I created them in My head just with assumptions and

Unknown: 00:30:02

thinking that's what people are meaning and stuff like that,

Unknown: 00:30:04

right? So I don't want to get too deep in that. But I hope

Unknown: 00:30:07

that kind of makes sense. So getting back, that stuff just

Unknown: 00:30:10

grew. So, for me, I don't know if that stuff would have ever

Unknown: 00:30:16

have changed if I didn't walk through the days are through the

Unknown: 00:30:19

doors of recovery. And then in recovery, I was forced to wake

Unknown: 00:30:23

up, what do I mean by waking up or one of the first levels of

Unknown: 00:30:26

waking up? Because I started watching myself, right? I

Unknown: 00:30:29

started watching the thoughts. And that's not real. That's not

Unknown: 00:30:32

true. So today, those stuff may still pop up. Right? He said,

Unknown: 00:30:37

when I talk about meditating or meditating, for me, it certainly

Unknown: 00:30:40

isn't sitting in a lotus position with no thoughts for

Unknown: 00:30:43

three hours at a meditating for me, meditating and sitting

Unknown: 00:30:47

upright, somewhat comfortably, and in focusing on breathing,

Unknown: 00:30:51

but watching those thoughts, and 90% of them are stories. Not

Unknown: 00:30:59

real.

Unknown: 00:31:01

Yeah, yeah. For me, meditation is the same. It's, it started

Unknown: 00:31:05

with being a torture. Like, are you kidding me? Like everybody

Unknown: 00:31:10

is so calm and peaceful here. And I just want things apart and

Unknown: 00:31:16

run out. And to sit with that energy to sit with with what is

Unknown: 00:31:22

constantly with you anyways, and now you're becoming aware of it

Unknown: 00:31:27

is so shitty painful. It is so crazy. But yeah, kudos to you.

Unknown: 00:31:33

We are still doing it. Yeah, we're still meditating and

Unknown: 00:31:36

sitting through it. And it's, it's yeah, that's just practice.

Unknown: 00:31:42

Practice,

Unknown: 00:31:43

not getting discouraged. So when I hear a story like that, you

Unknown: 00:31:46

relating to the noise at the beginning, and, and then

Unknown: 00:31:49

comparing yourself to others. I so relate to that. Right. And I

Unknown: 00:31:53

think that comparing myself in this expectation, you know, that

Unknown: 00:31:57

stuff, I've got to challenge that stuff.

Unknown: 00:31:59

A Yeah, yeah, totally. And, and you haven't gone through that

Unknown: 00:32:05

pain now. You can automatically relate to me and feel empathy,

Unknown: 00:32:12

right? You attracted me into your life, this is why we're

Unknown: 00:32:15

sitting here, and you will do so many more people. And I hope

Unknown: 00:32:20

that you can see also, that addiction and recovery is

Unknown: 00:32:25

awesome, like to focus on and is really needed. But you can even

Unknown: 00:32:31

go beyond and help people who struggle with burnout and

Unknown: 00:32:35

depression. And people who just went through divorce and are

Unknown: 00:32:40

going crazy in their minds, right? You can help so many

Unknown: 00:32:44

people, but you had to go through that pain first.

Unknown: 00:32:48

Unfortunately, fortunately, to be able to relate now and to be

Unknown: 00:32:54

able to forgive yourself and and yet live your purpose. It's it's

Unknown: 00:33:02

very, like tough probably at the beginning to see oh shit, I've

Unknown: 00:33:06

been a victim for my whole life. And I'm actually supposed to

Unknown: 00:33:10

leader. But it's also incredibly empowering and necessary for

Unknown: 00:33:18

guys like you to step out there and to become the leaders

Unknown: 00:33:23

because what my mission of my podcast is here is to put the

Unknown: 00:33:27

spotlight on to heart driven leaders away from from ego

Unknown: 00:33:32

driven pneus and, you know, money driven. And this money is

Unknown: 00:33:37

good money will be your outcome and your reward and everything.

Unknown: 00:33:43

But it should never be like your main focus and for you it is

Unknown: 00:33:48

not. So you have kids, you said you have two sons. Is that

Unknown: 00:33:54

correct? Yes.

Unknown: 00:33:56

Okay, how are ya? I four total boys, two girls.

Unknown: 00:34:01

Oh, cool. Very, very cool. Yeah, I hope I hope. Yeah, you guys

Unknown: 00:34:07

have an awesome time together and they are proud of you. Mike

Unknown: 00:34:13

question is having kids, I don't have kids. But if I was

Unknown: 00:34:18

comparing myself to you, you went through pain through

Unknown: 00:34:22

struggle. You're building yourself up now you're creating

Unknown: 00:34:26

something beautiful. In your kiddos, do you see that you

Unknown: 00:34:33

sometimes like try to overly protect them from going onto

Unknown: 00:34:41

that path? Or is it easy to trust because you see that you

Unknown: 00:34:47

can help them and guide them into the right direction? How is

Unknown: 00:34:52

it for you as a parent to not like project your experience

Unknown: 00:34:58

onto them? First of all, and second, if you were to see that

Unknown: 00:35:03

they have similar tendencies, how can you you help them? Like

Unknown: 00:35:08

how can you give them the tools that maybe you didn't have? Back

Unknown: 00:35:13

then?

Unknown: 00:35:15

Wow, this is this question is awesome. Um, how much time do I

Unknown: 00:35:22

have? Like, I don't want to kind of ramble on, I'm gonna get to

Unknown: 00:35:24

kind of have like about five minutes or we gotta close here,

Unknown: 00:35:29

I will wave at you getting close. Yep.

Unknown: 00:35:34

And why I say that it's I don't believe in coincidences, I'm

Unknown: 00:35:37

actually having a learning lesson as a parent, and I'm kind

Unknown: 00:35:41

of coming out of something. And so, you know, being in recovery,

Unknown: 00:35:46

having a spiritual journey, getting a week and just, once

Unknown: 00:35:50

again, really functioning in society as being a human being

Unknown: 00:35:53

on, you know, the worldly level on a spiritual level, right. So

Unknown: 00:35:59

I've caught myself, basically kind of parenting my children.

Unknown: 00:36:08

And this is something just coming out of so we had a couple

Unknown: 00:36:11

years of this a parenting my children as I was turning me. So

Unknown: 00:36:17

you know, nothing wrong. Like we have some pretty awesome

Unknown: 00:36:19

conversations, you know, I have a 16 year old and a 13 year old

Unknown: 00:36:22

and we can have some pretty deep conversations. But what finally

Unknown: 00:36:27

they taught me this, it was them actually pointing it out. But

Unknown: 00:36:32

what I caught myself doing is, I was pairing trying to parent

Unknown: 00:36:37

myself, right? So once again, having balanced right, so

Unknown: 00:36:41

there's no problem, you know, with teaching them or getting

Unknown: 00:36:44

them awareness about addiction. And, you know, this, this is

Unknown: 00:36:48

life of trying to fulfill things with wrong motives. And, and,

Unknown: 00:36:53

you know, you're trying to show them to be genuinely a good

Unknown: 00:36:55

human being. But I was coming at it as if I was parenting myself,

Unknown: 00:37:00

and something hit me one day, were getting back into that

Unknown: 00:37:04

balance level of you know, they're their own personalities,

Unknown: 00:37:11

they're their own people, and you know, anybody with children

Unknown: 00:37:13

system for a half hour and go, Wow, where did that come from?

Unknown: 00:37:16

Right? Whether they're a toddler or an 18 year old, and

Unknown: 00:37:19

everything in between? Yeah, they've, you know, physically

Unknown: 00:37:23

come from from a woman and you know, and father, but they're

Unknown: 00:37:28

their own thing, hey, they're their own beans. And so when I

Unknown: 00:37:33

say balance, I share my story, and I'll share my mistakes, and

Unknown: 00:37:37

hopefully, they don't do them. But the implementation I was

Unknown: 00:37:41

parenting myself, so, you know, being all over the making sure

Unknown: 00:37:46

that they're not going to go in any little Avenue what I did

Unknown: 00:37:48

when I was a youth, I've stepped back from that, and letting more

Unknown: 00:37:52

than be, you know, they're gonna make their mistakes. They're

Unknown: 00:37:55

gonna go through their trials and tribulations, right? And of

Unknown: 00:37:59

course, insane that, you know, there's the balance. Obviously,

Unknown: 00:38:03

I'm not neglecting, neglecting my children are not part of

Unknown: 00:38:05

their life. But I'm also not over them and you know,

Unknown: 00:38:10

smothering them the word you use, right? It's letting them

Unknown: 00:38:14

find their way. Right. And, you know, maybe my way or my way I

Unknown: 00:38:19

think they should be isn't their way. Right. So hopefully, I

Unknown: 00:38:22

didn't go off too much there. But I love that question.

Unknown: 00:38:26

Hopefully, I answered your question.

Unknown: 00:38:28

No, no, you did. Like it's, it's very interesting how every

Unknown: 00:38:33

father would answer this question differently. And I love

Unknown: 00:38:40

what you say, like we can all learn from this. I think as as a

Unknown: 00:38:45

father, it's probably hardest, like you say, they come from you

Unknown: 00:38:48

physically. So you kind of assume oh, yeah, they must be

Unknown: 00:38:52

like me. Yeah. But then to step back and to know like, no, they

Unknown: 00:38:57

actually their own personality, but they can still learn from

Unknown: 00:39:01

you so much. Especially if you're leading by example.

Unknown: 00:39:06

Right? That's the most powerful thing perfect. Yeah, it's it's

Unknown: 00:39:11

the only thing it's the only thing because everything that a

Unknown: 00:39:15

parent is trying to teach a child and not living at the same

Unknown: 00:39:20

time is for the garbage I believe. And it's it's very

Unknown: 00:39:27

inspiring how you approach it and how open minded you are

Unknown: 00:39:32

about it. And yeah, very evolved. I just, I just love

Unknown: 00:39:36

that so much. Is there anything else we would like to add to

Unknown: 00:39:41

this episode? Or did we cover everything? I want to make sure

Unknown: 00:39:45

to put the links to your videos, the link to your Facebook page,

Unknown: 00:39:50

into the show notes? Yeah. How else can people reach you? How

Unknown: 00:39:57

else can we make sure that more people hear about your

Unknown: 00:40:00

Send. Yeah, I'm pretty active on Facebook, I can shoot you my

Unknown: 00:40:04

email, I'll message that to you later. Also shoot you the other

Unknown: 00:40:08

video I did for that PCRs because I think a very high a

Unknown: 00:40:15

good point in that video, as we were really shedding light on

Unknown: 00:40:19

what the family member or the friend who's watching an addict,

Unknown: 00:40:24

you know, kill themselves through addiction? What are some

Unknown: 00:40:26

of their options? How can they approach it? And I think that's

Unknown: 00:40:30

powerful for people. So I'm going to send you that video

Unknown: 00:40:33

too. And can I can I say something real real quick. And

Unknown: 00:40:42

being in the recovery world, or whatever you want to call it?

Unknown: 00:40:48

Community, one thing that continuously comes up and I want

Unknown: 00:40:52

to share people always talk about shame and guilt and they

Unknown: 00:40:54

go shame and guilt you know, I'm, I feel so much shame and

Unknown: 00:40:58

guilt and you can feel that, you know, just as a regular human

Unknown: 00:41:01

being or, you know, sober and we all can relate, you know, we

Unknown: 00:41:09

have this mindset Yeah, I feel guilty or I feel shameful and,

Unknown: 00:41:13

and something I want to pass on to people out in, you know,

Unknown: 00:41:17

anybody but definitely the people in recovery, because

Unknown: 00:41:19

shame and guilt comes up so much because it people's pasts is

Unknown: 00:41:23

something that I've learned to process because I've been that

Unknown: 00:41:26

person, for example, that's driven, you know, I'm driving

Unknown: 00:41:29

downtown, and I see something that triggers me. And I think

Unknown: 00:41:32

back of something I'd done, that was not very good, right? And

Unknown: 00:41:37

I'd sit there and I just pull it in, and that's who I am. And

Unknown: 00:41:41

sometimes I would curse at myself and say, you effing

Unknown: 00:41:44

loser, Mike and, and just believe that, right? So I've

Unknown: 00:41:49

come today to learn to separate healthy guilt. This is the way I

Unknown: 00:41:53

describe it. Maybe on a professional level. This doesn't

Unknown: 00:41:55

make sense. But the way I describe it as I've come to

Unknown: 00:41:58

differentiate healthy guilt from feeling shameful. So I say that

Unknown: 00:42:05

there's healthy guilt, unhealthy guilt is good. So shameful is

Unknown: 00:42:08

that example, I'm driving down the road, I think of something

Unknown: 00:42:10

that I did in the past. And I'm believing it and I'm telling

Unknown: 00:42:14

myself on a loser, this and that, well, that's just that's

Unknown: 00:42:18

just destroying my self esteem and confidence. Right? And that

Unknown: 00:42:22

is such a pattern and addiction, right? Whereas healthy guilt,

Unknown: 00:42:26

that same situation comes up, then I can go Yeah, I did that.

Unknown: 00:42:31

Oh, I clean that up I made that amends. Or are the ultimate is

Unknown: 00:42:35

is that don't do that today. I'm not that person. I've made an

Unknown: 00:42:38

amends. I'm not doing those things today. That is not who I

Unknown: 00:42:42

am. So I challenge that. Right. Because a lot of us can get

Unknown: 00:42:46

trapped in that and believing that's who we are. And through a

Unknown: 00:42:49

process. You know, like I mentioned the inventory and a

Unknown: 00:42:53

spiritual awakening, we can start challenging that stuff.

Unknown: 00:42:55

And it's not an overnight thing, right. So it's like, I don't do

Unknown: 00:42:58

that stuff, that it's not who I am. I've made amends for things,

Unknown: 00:43:03

and I've cleaned things up. And thank you very much. So healthy

Unknown: 00:43:06

guilt and shame fulness there's a difference.

Unknown: 00:43:11

That is like you just threw the most valuable tool at us that we

Unknown: 00:43:16

can all use. Thank you. Yeah, like, we all have done stuff in

Unknown: 00:43:21

the past. That is something that we can use because otherwise

Unknown: 00:43:27

it's like a vicious cycle. I feel shame. And then I go back

Unknown: 00:43:32

to the drinking go back to the city behavior because I don't

Unknown: 00:43:35

want to feel that shame. And now what you just gave us is to

Unknown: 00:43:41

break up that vicious cycle and to be accountable. Yeah, to

Unknown: 00:43:46

learn from the mistake, but not to to live in this poisonous

Unknown: 00:43:53

this poisonous shame feelings anymore. That kind of keep us in

Unknown: 00:43:57

that very low energy. So incredible ending. Wow, thank

Unknown: 00:44:03

you so much for for Yeah, pulling that out of your your

Unknown: 00:44:09

toolbox. Very valuable. And yeah, from the bottom of my

Unknown: 00:44:14

heart. Thank you so much for making the time today for

Unknown: 00:44:18

pouring your heart out for making us see you. Your energy

Unknown: 00:44:23

is incredible. And I'm just personally very, very happy that

Unknown: 00:44:28

we can thank you so

Unknown: 00:44:30

much for I really appreciate this opportunity. And I was a

Unknown: 00:44:33

little skeptical at the beginning of it when you first

Unknown: 00:44:35

talked about it. And you blown you blown me away with you and

Unknown: 00:44:39

your motive and your intent. And I'm just so grateful. You're a

Unknown: 00:44:43

beautiful soul like just absolutely. So I thank you so

Unknown: 00:44:47

much. Yeah, Kim like

Unknown: 00:44:50

Thank you. Well, I really hope you enjoyed this interview. I

Unknown: 00:44:55

totally enjoyed the conversation. And yeah, I will

Unknown: 00:45:00

Make sure to put the video links into the show notes. You can

Unknown: 00:45:05

contact Mike on Facebook or if you have any questions, any

Unknown: 00:45:09

comments, never hesitate and shoot me a message on Aurora

Unknown: 00:45:15

Eggert, my Facebook page. Also a note, if you are struggling

Unknown: 00:45:21

right now, if you feel like you need to talk about your stuff,

Unknown: 00:45:25

and counseling and visiting a psychotherapist is not really

Unknown: 00:45:31

necessary at the moment you just need someone to talk to need

Unknown: 00:45:35

someone to guide you on your path, then please contact me and

Unknown: 00:45:43

ask me to send you my calendar link so that we can schedule a

Unknown: 00:45:48

60 minute intro call where I can figure out if I can help you

Unknown: 00:45:55

with stuff that you're going through right now. I'm a love

Unknown: 00:45:59

and life coach and would love to assist you whenever you feel

Unknown: 00:46:04

like you need a neutral person to talk to. Alright, take really

Unknown: 00:46:10

good care of yourself and I'll see you down the road. I'll be

Unknown: 00:46:14

out there very soon again. Bye bye