As a life coach, I've been trained in how to tell the difference between the thoughts that serve us, and those that keep us stuck.

There are two main parts of our brain I'll teach you about in this episode - one that keeps us alive and the other that makes all the goals and dreams.

Let me help you decide which one to let drive your life.

Download the free business starter guide here

Schedule a free coaching call with me here

Hello friends.

Welcome back to burning brightly.

Today, we're going to talk a little bit about your amazing brain that you have,

but I promise it's not going to be boring.

It's going to be just enough science.

To get you started on the path of putting yourself out into the world

without so much fear and insecurity.

Okay.

Or maybe despite the fear and insecurity, I should say it that way.

Right?

just going to give you a little bit of insight into how the brain works.

Why it works this way and how this is going to affect us as we start

building a business and putting our magical, amazing talents.

Out on public display.

Okay.

So as a life coach, I teach my clients about two main areas of brain function.

The brain is amazing.

I don't pretend to know.

A lot about it because I'm not a neuroscientist.

But I do know about two main parts of the brain three, three, actually,

but we're gonna talk about two today.

There is the brainstem, the hind brain, the back of the brain, which

is also known as the primitive brain.

You'll also hear referred to as the primal brain or even the lizard

brain, because it's not super smart.

It's only job is to keep us alive.

Okay.

So there's that primitive brain.

And then.

You have the frontal cortex, which is the front of the brain

also known as the neocortex.

And this is the thinking brain.

Okay.

So those are the two parts that we're going to talk about today.

Now these two portions, if you've heard of them before you probably

know they could not be more different.

They're like two halves of the same whole.

Which they actually are.

And they actually work in tandem.

They don't work separately, but for the purposes of this episode, we're

going to talk about them separately because they really do, um, get

in each other's way sometimes.

So one, the primitive brain.

Simply cares about our survival.

That is its main function do not die, is what it's saying basically all day long.

And sometimes it's screaming it, especially when we're doing things

that may seem a little unfamiliar.

Or a little scary.

It just wants us to survive.

It wants our species to survive.

That's it.

Okay.

And we're so grateful for the primitive brain.

It's what tells us not to step in front of oncoming traffic

it's what tells us not to climb out of the window of a moving vehicle.

It keeps us safe and hopefully alive.

Okay.

Now the frontal cortex is what makes us human.

It is what differentiates us from the lizards.

It gives us power to do amazing things, to think, and to dream all these things

that, that make us divinely human.

Okay.

Now another way to look at the primitive brain is that it's

kind of the stranger danger.

Center of the brain.

Okay.

If something is unfamiliar, it labels it as suspicious or dangerous.

And if something is familiar, it labels it generally as safe.

Right?

So when we enter a scenario that is unfamiliar, the primitive brain speaks

up and says, Hmm, let's be careful here.

We're not really sure what's happening here.

Let's just go slowly, proceed with caution, right.

If it's familiar, it generally considers it safe because we haven't died yet.

So let's keep not dying.

Right.

just be aware of that, that if something is unfamiliar, your

primitive brain is probably going to be a little bit uncomfortable.

let me share a story with you really quickly to help

illustrate this a little bit.

When I was a kid, I remember going to an amusement park with my family.

I was the oldest.

And, um, very responsible, rational kid.

But this day, I was not very rational.

For some reason, my primitive brain was screaming at me.

We were all going to go on a rollercoaster.

And my youngest brother, who was about 12 years younger than me.

I think my parents had stuffed his shoes with something and he.

Was being snuck onto a rollercoaster that maybe was a little bit

too high for his height.

And for some reason I panicked, I just thought.

He's going to die.

I might die.

This thing is scary.

Why are we getting on this thing?

I think essentially I just let my frontal cortex shut down and

I let that primitive go crazy.

And, and lucky for me, I had rational parents that were

like, it's going to be okay.

It's.

You know, highly tested there's.

Engineers that check it every single day.

You're going to be fine.

And I, one of the rollercoaster, I was fine.

My brother was fine, but for some reason, I just distinctly remember this

scenario where that primitive brain was screaming at me, do not get on that thing.

So roller coasters, aren't interesting example to use because they actually

take the adrenaline pumped out.

By that primitive brain and use it for our benefit.

Right.

We get on a rollercoaster if we didn't have any adrenaline,

it wouldn't be as exciting.

But that fear and anticipation and excitement comes from the adrenaline.

That is being given to us because we might die.

But it's like the balance between our frontal cortex.

That of saying no, of course we won't die.

These experts check it every single day.

It's structurally sound.

Everything is fine.

And then the primitive brain still screaming.

This is terrifying.

Okay.

Do you see how that works?

They work in tandem to actually give us a really pleasurable experience.

Now imagine in contrast you get on the freeway and your car flips over in a car

accident, it's the same type of movement flipping over doing dips, whatever, but

your primitive brain would override that frontal brain and say, we really might die

because your rational brain understands.

Yes, this is dangerous.

Does that make sense?

So kind of a little bit of a battle between these two.

Uh, of the brain and what we need to be aware of when we're building a business

is to keep the primitive brain in its place and make sure that the rational

brain is the one that is in charge.

Now a few more things to learn about the primitive brain.

It wants us to seek out things that are easy.

It wants us to find pleasure and to avoid discomfort or pain.

Okay.

Those are kind of the three main tasks of it.

But what you'll probably notice very soon as you begin to build a business,

is that building a business is.

The opposite of all those three things, right.

It is not very easy.

It does not very often give us immediate pleasure.

And it also brings up some discomfort and maybe even some

pain in some way or another.

So just notice that first off, that we're starting to build something.

The primitive brain does not like it's unfamiliar.

It's a little bit difficult.

It brings up emotions that we don't like, it's going to start fighting us on this.

Right.

The primitive brain also wants us to focus on ourselves, our own self preservation.

It wants us to focus on reproducing or keeping the species alive.

And it wants us to avoid those unfamiliar things, right.

We might be taking time away from our own self care or even from our family's care.

In order to build this business again, that the primitive

brain just does not like.

So notice that pay attention to when your brain is panicking.

Is it just because this is something that primitive brain

is designed to keep us away from?

Now you can probably see right.

you might be fighting this call to step into the unknown a little bit.

It's because your brain is offering so many excuses.

But lucky for us, we are divinely created human beings who have this

rational brain that can talk back to it.

Right.

It can help us do so many amazing things.

We can think we can dream big dreams.

We can set goals.

We can forgive others.

Even when it goes against our own self preservation.

Right.

can.

Uh, believe in something greater than us, we can inspire and be inspired.

It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

But in order to do any of these things, we have got to remember to not fall

prey, to every single warning that the primitive brain puts out there.

And the primitive brain is actually pretty smart too, because we don't

have, or at least I personally in my pretty awesome, safe life.

not have a lot of opportunities to really fear for my life.

Thank goodness.

Right?

So my primitive brain looks for other things to avoid.

Well, let's avoid the discomfort of this thing.

Let's avoid the pain of this thing.

Um, so far I'm safe so far.

I haven't died, but let's keep that up by avoiding all these unfamiliar things.

Right.

So you might start to experience thoughts that seem very rational.

For example.

Well, I would do that, but I just don't want to fail.

Uh, or I actually don't know how to do any of this.

Or.

I've never done this before.

Otherwise I would write these excuses, right.

Why worry about what people will think of me, will they think I'm

like a braggart or will they think that I think I'm better than them.

All these very rational, beautiful thoughts, right.

All this is really just the primitive brain's way of keeping you safe.

You haven't stay safe and small, right where we are.

But this is where the rational brain needs to step in and say something.

And admittedly, this might feel a little bit crazy.

You really do have to kind of have a conversation within your own head, right?

I personally like to think about it as if I have a best friend.

Who has a panic disorder, right.

wants to try something, but her disorder steps in and keeps her from doing that.

Right.

so my job is, is to reassure her that nothing is going wrong.

Everything's gonna be okay.

That's what I'm doing for my brain.

Right.

rational brain is stepping in and saying, I know, I know this is uncomfortable.

I'm here to reassure you, to comfort you and guide you to do these things anyway.

Okay.

So there's two main ways that you can do this with your rational brain.

Number one.

Do not believe the thoughts you think.

I know this sounds crazy.

You guys.

It's like talking your own brain out of thoughts, but this is what we're doing.

If every time you think a thought you automatically believe it is true, even if

there's lots of evidence that it's true.

You're going to continue finding evidence that is true.

The brain just wants to be right.

So, for example, I don't know how to do this.

Anytime you try to learn and it's hard, or you come up against

something else that you don't know how to do, your brain will say, see.

Told you, I don't know how to do any of this.

Let's just sit down and shut up.

Okay.

Just be onto yourself and notice, oh, there's that primitive brain coming

up again with an excuse to keep me safe, examine all those thoughts and

do not believe them until you have looked at them and decided whether

or not they're going to serve you.

Okay.

Number two.

Answer those thoughts and find a way to prove that they might not be true.

Okay.

The thoughts we tell ourselves are just a story.

I know that's a difficult thing to wrap your head around sometimes because we

think, well, no, it's true because of XYZ.

Let me just say you my permission to not believe that it's true.

Okay.

This is one of the most powerful concepts.

That you can ever wrap your brain around when it comes to doing great,

amazing, unfamiliar, scary things.

You don't have to believe everything that your brain comes up with.

As soon as you let go of that and allow yourself to believe

a different story, all kinds of opportunities will open up to you.

Now, I know some of you are probably thinking, well, that

just feels like lying to myself.

Well, that feels like not being realistic.

I'm telling you, you guys, there is no such thing as realism.

It's all just stories in our head.

Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was really bad?

And then later on from a different perspective, looked back and realized,

oh my gosh, that was totally.

D divine design.

That was for my benefit.

I have I've had that happen so many times.

And it's only a shift in perspective.

The facts did not change only.

My thoughts changed about it.

Okay.

So if you if you can find a way to prove to yourself that these

thoughts are not true or that they're true, but they just don't matter.

You can accomplish anything.

It, are literally the only thing keeping you stuck.

And that's really mind blowing.

We're going to talk about this over and over and over on this podcast, but

they are the only thing keeping you.

In the place that you are right now.

Learn to move through them.

And your, all of your obstacles will be blown up, basically.

Okay.

All right.

So let's look at a couple of these thoughts and, uh, give example

of how to talk back to them.

Okay.

I've never done this before.

I hear this a lot from clients.

I give it to myself sometimes.

Oh, I've never done this before.

But here's the thing.

There are lots of things we've never done before.

I had never ridden a bike before I got on my first bike.

And guess what?

Now I'm a really excellent, bike rider.

Pretty amazing.

Right.

The fact of the matter is unless you want to stay here stuck and never do

anything that you've never tried before.

You're going to have to try some new things.

Saying I've never done this before is a really tricky way for your brain to say.

Better not try it.

You don't know what to do.

You don't know how to do it.

You've never done it.

You don't know if you'll succeed.

You don't know if it'll cause pain or discomfort best to just sit here and tell

yourself I've never done this before.

What did he do?

I've never tried some foods, but I'm still going to keep trying them.

I've never been to some places, but I'm still gonna go travel because

I want new, exciting unfamiliar experiences to help me grow.

maybe riding a bike is a bad example because you've been

doing that for 20 or 30 years.

But what about being a mom?

You can probably remember what it was like before you had your first baby and

you probably had some thoughts like this.

Oh my gosh.

I've never done this before.

What if I'm a terrible mom, what if I don't know what to do?

What if I can't handle pregnancy?

What if I can handle birth?

What if I don't know how to care for a newborn?

Of course you didn't know those things because you've never done them before.

But now look at you now.

You're an experienced, amazing mother.

And if someone passed you a newborn, you'd know exactly what to do.

Maybe with a little practice, if it's been a few years, right.

Fact of the matter is unless you want to stay stuck forever.

You'll have to try things you haven't tried before.

Do not let that thought be the excuse to hold you back.

Okay.

Another one that is super popular.

Our brains love to come up with this one and it is, I just don't know how.

Sounds relevant.

Right?

Sounds super useful.

Except guess what?

That's so great.

That's great news.

Because every time we learn something new, we grow and we expand.

I love to tell myself that, okay, I don't know how to do this.

Awesome.

I get to learn something new, which is so amazing.

I have Google at my fingertips.

Almost nothing I can't learn through there.

I have amazing examples all around me.

I can just ask.

Won't it be fun to look back on myself in six months or a

year and think, oh my gosh.

Remember when I didn't know how to write.

now, for example, I'm recording a podcast.

This is my second podcast.

I've been podcasting for over four years, but there was a time when I had

zero clue, how to start or record or edit or upload or market a podcast.

I just didn't know.

And so I learned.

And it's been amazing.

And think of all the things that you've learned, have you ever learned to paint

or to sew or to tie a shoe or literally any skill you have now to cook to clean?

There was a time when you didn't know how.

The not knowing should never be an obstacle.

It's the willingness to learn.

Do you have the willingness to learn?

And if not, then maybe you need to take a look at those thoughts.

Right?

Why do you not have a willingness?

Are you nervous about failing?

Are you nervous about being imperfect?

Because there's going to be a lot of that.

There's going to be a lot of failure and a lot of mess ups and a lot of doing

things like a newbie, because guess what?

You're a newbie.

Nothing has gone wrong.

The point is friends.

These thoughts that our primitive brain comes up with will not go away.

Okay.

pretty much here to stay.

But we don't have to let them drive the car.

Okay.

can have the fear and the nervousness and the stress and the anxiety,

which still come up for me a lot.

But I don't give them the front seat.

Right.

to let them just sit in the passenger seat and say, oh, fear.

I feel you.

I know all about this, but right now I'm going to do this scary

thing anyway, and you can come.

That's all right.

I love this concept of friend taught it to me recently.

You can come along for the ride fear.

That's totally okay.

But I will not give you the steering wheel because I'm in charge and

we're going to do this thing.

And eventually, maybe you won't come along for the ride.

Maybe it won't be that, or maybe you'll be in the backseat and

then the truck, I don't know.

I don't know how far I want to take this metaphor, but anyway, Those

negative emotions can still be there.

Just Just don't let that primitive brain drive the bus.

Okay.

Friends.

I know you can do this.

Want to know how, because I did and I'm not special.

I'm just kind of crazy.

And I tried and I kept trying and I continued trying, and you can do

the same thing I believe in you.

This is the bulk of what life coaching is all about.

It is examining those thoughts that our primitive brain is coming up

with and asking ourselves if we want to keep them and ensuring that that

rational brain maintains control.

So if you want to schedule a free call with me, please do.

The link is in the show notes.

I offer 20 minute free coaching calls to anyone who is interested.

And then I can tell you about my coaching program afterwards, if you're

interested, but at least you get a few minutes of free coaching, either way.

To take a look at this brain and figure out what is holding you

back from your greatest dreams.