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Master Your Life, Live Your Dreams EP 239
Episode 23914th June 2024 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:25:09

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If you’re inspired to build the life you would love, Dr Demartini reveals an intrinsic value-driven approach to life where sustained effort aligned with your highest values leads to fulfilment and mastery of your destiny.

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Transcripts

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I'm a firm believer that if you patiently

work towards something that's deeply

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meaningful and there's no

turning back, you get it.

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But it needs to be something

that's not just a whim.

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As I travel the world and I ask people,

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how many of you would love to master

your life, be a master of your life,

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a master of your destiny?

Almost every hand goes up.

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How many of would love

to live your dreams,

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the things that you are inspired

to go and fulfill? The hands go up.

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And then I ask people, well,

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how many you feel like you

are making progress on that?

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And most people put their

hands up, making progress,

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but maybe not to the fullest.

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And so I'd like to share with you some

ideas that can help that achievement.

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I know I set out when I was 17 years

old to travel the world and teach and

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research and learn, and learn

how to speak and be an educator.

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And I've not given up on that.

I've still working on that.

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I've been blessed to travel over the

world and I really believe that you can

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live your dreams. You can

create a masterful life.

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So I know when I was about 18

years old I set out to master life.

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And I thought, what does that mean?

And I thought, well, I want to,

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there's seven areas of life

that I'd broken life into,

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we have a quest for waking up our

mental faculties and using our brain to

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the fullest and coming up with original

ideas that serve human beings and be

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creative with our minds. We have a desire,

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most of us have some sort of desire to

make some sort of contribution as far as

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some sort of business. I mean,

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we may not think of raising

a family as a business,

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but we're actually producing a product,

service, idea and satisfying a customer,

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which may be a wife or husband

who's helping pay for that.

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But that's a business. So we want

to have some sort of business.

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I knew I wanted to have a business

that went around the world.

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I knew I wanted to be

financial independent.

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I didn't want to have to

work my whole life for money.

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I wanted some money to work for me.

I wanted to have a global family.

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I didn't really feel at home in a little

suburb somewhere, in a little house,

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I mean some people love

that, it just wasn't me.

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And I knew that I wanted

to be part of the world.

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I always thought the universe is my

playground, the world is my home.

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I wanted to have a social

influence and meet amazing people,

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anybody that had a global influence I

wanted to meet and hang out with and

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associate with and have as clients.

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And I also wanted to have a vital

physical body and energized,

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which so far I'm still

cranking on that at nearly 70.

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And I want to be inspired and wanted to

create some sort of inspiring movement.

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So I wrote down what I wanted.

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And I'm a firm believer that you

want to start with what you know.

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Start with what you know about what

you really want and define your dream.

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And make sure it's really

congruent with what you value.

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Your life demonstrates your values.

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That's why I spend so much time on

values because your life demonstrates it.

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Tell me what your values are and

I'll tell you where you're headed.

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And if your dream is

congruent with those values,

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or your values are

congruent with your dream,

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you have a high probability of achieving

it, living your dream. If they are not,

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you have a lower probability.

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So that's why I have people go on freely

onto my website and take advantage of a

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complimentary and private

Value Determination process

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to take a look at what your life is

demonstrating is important to you.

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What exactly is true? Not the

fantasies. If we set up fantasies,

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don't confuse fantasies with real

dreams or real things that we're really

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committed to accomplishing, real

objectives in life. Many people do.

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And then they beat themselves up

and wonder why it's not happening.

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The reason why they're not living their

dreams is because they're either setting

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up a fantasy or trying to live

in somebody else's values,

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or they're not coming up with a

strategy in their executive function,

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to come up with a strategy that

they can take actions to do.

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Or they're immediate gratifying,

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they want immediate fix and they

don't want long-term effects.

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And my observation,

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people that want immediate gratification

don't go as far as people that are

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patient and long-term and willing

to do what it takes to get the goal.

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Overnight success takes 25

years is an old proverb.

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I have some goals that I've been

working on for 35, 40, 50 years.

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I set out to go to every country

on the face of the earth and teach.

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I haven't reached every

country yet, over 150 of them,

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but I haven't got them all.

But I still am working on that.

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And so some of my goals I'm having to

be patient for, and it's a slow, steady,

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consistent, year by year

progress towards that objective.

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Some goals I get done immediately. Some

are short term, some are long term.

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But defining your dream and making sure

it's congruent with what you value is a

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very important component.

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Because you spontaneously tend to

act and are inspired to act in your

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highest values.

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But you need external motivation to

get you to do things that are lower.

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So if you're not setting goals that are

really congruent with what you value

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most, you're going to

need outside motivation,

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reminding and incentives and constant

reminders to get you to do what you say is

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important. If what you say is

important, if you're not acting on it,

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it's not important.

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So be honest about what's truly important

to you and what's really valuable and

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what's really a dream and a real

objective and not a fantasy.

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Many times people compare themselves

to other people and put people on

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pedestals, inject some of their values,

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think I need to be like them and compare

themselves to the Jones and then think

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they have to have all the same things

they do or do the same things they do.

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And many of the times the

Joneses are actually facades.

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If you actually got to know them,

their life's not what you thought.

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And so you're setting up an unrealistic

expectation and fantasy to be somebody

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you're not and live in a way that's

not even the way they're living.

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And this lets you up for let down.

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And so I'm a firm believer

in prioritizing your life,

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making sure the goals are really

congruent with what you value,

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making sure you strategize and

mitigate the risk and come up with real

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strategies that'll give you an outcome.

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What are the real action steps

that'll help you fulfill it?

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In the Breakthrough Experience program

that I teach pretty well, not every week,

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but almost every week,

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I teach people how to make sure that

when you're setting goals and objectives,

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it's something that's truly important,

and not just a temporary whim. You know,

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a lot of times at the end of the

year or beginning of the year,

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you have New Year's resolutions, and

these are mostly jokes for people.

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They've just over eaten at Christmas and

they've overspent, so they set a goal,

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I'm going to lose weight, I'm

going to not spend so much,

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I'm going to save my money. And

then two or three weeks later,

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the whole thing is forgotten. Because

they went back to their routine,

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they're now dropped their weight,

they're no longer overspending,

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and now they had a temporary thing.

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It's wise to set goals that

are truly meaningful to you,

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that way you have meaning in life.

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Something that's so important to you that

you are willing to do what it takes to

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get it. When the why is big enough,

the how's take care of themselves.

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And wasting your time on

trivia is not the answer.

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You're not going to be fulfilled on that.

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But breaking down big projects into

small bites and being realistic about how

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you're going to get it and being

willing to do the work. You know,

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I was watching an interview that

they were doing on Elon Musk

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and he says, you know,

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most of the people he knows that are

actually doing great accomplishments are

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working between a hundred, well

eighty to hundred twenty hours a week.

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I certainly do 80 to 120

hours a week many times.

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And it's a pretty standard

for me. I think part-time,

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I think 40 hours a week's like not even

part-time. But that's just my thing.

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And that doesn't mean you have to do that,

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but my experience is the people

that put the extra hours in,

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get the extra results.

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If you put a lot of energy into

something that's really important to you,

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you get a result. Time X

intensity gives results.

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The more intensity you focus on

something, the faster you get a result.

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And I'm a firm believer that if you

work twice as hard as somebody else,

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you get there half as

fast and half the time.

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And I did that all the way through

schooling and I did that ever since then.

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So I put in the hours to get what I

dream about, and that's how I achieve it.

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And I ask myself, no matter

what's happened, how's it

helping me get my dream?

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You know,

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there's seven questions that I talk

about in the Breakthrough Experience.

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I'll just give you some of them now here.

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What is it I would absolutely love

to do in life? I wrote that down.

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I wanted to travel the

world and teach. Great.

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How can I get handsomely and beautifully

paid to do that? Because If you ask,

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how can I afford to do that? You're

going to go and get in debt to do it.

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If you ask, how can I get handsomely

and beautifully paid to do it,

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you'll come up with an answer to do it.

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And then you'll realize how do you do

what you really want to do in a way that

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serves other people, that people

will get a benefit enough to pay you?

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Then you get to do what you love

every day and get paid for it.

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So I figured that out.

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I worked towards that and I answered that

question and I came up with solutions.

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And then the question is,

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what's the highest priority actions

you can take today to move you in the

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direction of what's important, what

you say you would love to do? So I ask,

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what are the highest priority actions I

can do today that'll help me travel the

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world and teach and get handsomely paid

to do that? And I came up with answers,

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and slowly but surely,

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I developed a strategy on how to get

that and build momentum doing it.

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And then I asked the question,

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what are the obstacles I might run into

and how do I solve them in advance?

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What might come in that

might be an obstacle?

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And how do I try to solve that with

foresight? Most people live by hindsight,

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they don't, they only

focus on the fantasy side.

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They don't want to get an objective.

They don't want to mitigate the risk,

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they don't want to think of the negatives,

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they only want to think of the

positives, which is foolish.

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And then what happens is they're

unprepared and they get distressed by,

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smacked by the things they overlooked

because they're now living in hindsight

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and reacting.

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But if you foresight it and think of

what are the obstacles in advance and how

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do I solve in advance, you're

prepared. You're pro-act, not react,

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and you have foresight, not hindsight.

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And that's what differentiates us from

the animals. Animals live with hindsight.

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They have teleonomics

instead of teleology.

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And we end up having the ability to have

foresight and purpose and meaning and

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to prioritize our life and live

through an inspired pathway.

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So ask what worked, what

didn't work, next. And ask,

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how did whatever happened to me today

serve me? If you ask whatever's happened,

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how's it helping me get my dream,

then you'll see it all on the way,

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not in the way, and you won't

be resistant and living in fear.

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Anytime you accumulate something that

you think is in the way where that's not

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on the way, you're going to be

living in anxiety and fear about it.

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But if you ask yourself

and be accountable and ask,

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how did whatever happen to me today,

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help me move one step

closer towards my objective?

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And if you do that and you ask

what worked and what didn't work,

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and how do I do it more effectively

and efficiently tomorrow?

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And then you listen to that and metric

that and document that and actually

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refine what you're doing and work towards

refining it, you'll get your goal.

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You can manifest this process.

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So I'm a firm believer in clarifying

what your purpose is in doing it.

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In the Breakthrough Experience I

have a whole manifestation formula.

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You know what exactly is the

purpose you're doing this for,

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dominating your thought

on it. And by the way,

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if it's really congruent

with your highest value,

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it's spontaneously comes

out of your thinking.

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I don't have to be reminded or

motivated or incentivized to think about

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traveling the world and

teach. I love doing it.

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It's what I think about every day.

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So find out the thing that you

don't need to be motivated to do,

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that's spontaneously is inspiring

for you to go after and do.

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And then find a way of getting

handsomely paid to do that,

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which means you have the accountability

and responsibility to do it in a way

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that serves people.

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If you don't have a philanthropic

objective of making a

difference in the world,

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don't expect to achieve your dreams.

It requires being of service to people.

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It requires contributing to people in a

way that makes them feel fulfilled too.

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If you help other people get

what they want to get in life,

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you get what you want to get in life.

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So that's why you want to go after

what it is you really want to do,

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to tap dance to work as Buffett says.

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If you can't wait to get up in the

morning and be of service to people,

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people can't wait to get your service.

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We've all been into a restaurant

or department store, whatever,

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and you can see when somebody's

not present and they're

not engaged and they're

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not inspired by what they do. And

then you can see when they are.

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And you'll be more likely to refer

people to the people who are engaged than

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people who are not. I've gotten,

when I used to live in New York City,

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sometimes I'd get in a cab and there's

sometimes you get in a cab and it's

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filthy and dirty and smelly and there's

a guy in there and if you ask them,

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so how long you been driving a cab? About

three years. I said, do you love it?

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And they look in the mirror, are

you kidding, man? It pays the bills.

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They're not engaged, they're not

inspired, their cab shows it, it's dirty,

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it's filthy, they don't take care of it.

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They don't really have an

engagement in what they're doing.

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Then you can get in the

cab sometimes and you go,

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it's clean and it's spotless

and it's shiny and it's fresh,

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and the guy smiles and said,

where would you love to go?

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I know this city inside and out.

How long you been doing a cab? Oh,

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I've been doing it for 13

years. My father did the cabs,

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my grandfather did the cabs, we're a

cab company family. And I said, well,

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you sound like you're inspired by.

I love it. I love the people I meet.

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I love taking them places. I

know this city inside and out.

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You can see when they're engaged because

they're doing something they're really

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inspired to do. You don't want to

have regrets at the end of your life,

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Bronnie Ware's five regrets.

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You want to have an inspired

life by prioritizing your life.

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That's why in the Breakthrough Experience,

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I teach people how to define their

values, prioritize their lifestyle,

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dissolve all the emotional baggage that

they think is in the way of them living

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their dreams, and get on

with it, and prioritize it,

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and live their love life.

And you can live your dreams.

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You can master your life and live your

dreams, there's no doubt about it, but,

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it's work. I'm not going to give you a

fantasy that it's going to be overnight,

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you know, achievement. When I look at

the things that I've set out to do,

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it's slow and methodical. It's

patience that gets you there.

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Learning how to speak

was a patient process.

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Learning how to read was a patient

process. Learning how to travel,

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finding out how to do that, working

away. If it's really important to you,

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you don't give up. When you have

a no turning back objective,

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you get it. There's no obstacles,

there's no no excuses. There's just,

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you move forward. And when you get to

that point, you find you get your dream.

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And that's only going to

occur in your highest values.

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That's why I tell people in

the Breakthrough Experience,

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let's find out what your highest values

and let's set goals that are congruent

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with that. And let's strategize

with our executive center.

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Whenever you're living by priority

and living in your highest values,

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your executive executive center comes

online and you start to strategize,

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you see your vision. If you don't see

your vision, you're not likely to get it.

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If you see it in your mind's

eye, you can see the strategies,

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you have a real sound strategy and

you're willing to refine the strategy,

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if you get feedback and you, no matter

what happens, you keep refining it,

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you'll get your goals. And you

deserve to have your dreams.

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So I'm a firm believer that if you

patiently work towards something that's

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deeply meaningful and there's

no turning back, you get it.

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But it needs to be something

that's not just a whim.

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And I find people very commonly wanting

immediate gratification and not being

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willing to do patience, having patience

to get something. But I don't know.

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I think of, again, Elon

Musk. He wants to go to Mars.

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You think that's an overnight thing? No.

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You think he's done it for really

quick? No, he's put the hours in.

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He's hired the top people, he's

put the engineers on the thing,

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he's had explosions and

he still moves forward.

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There's an interview on

him called I never give up.

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And that's worth watching if you

haven't seen it on Elon Musk, Elon Musk,

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never give up.

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That's the kind of attitude I try

to teach people in the Breakthrough

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Experience, because if they have that

attitude, there's no turning back.

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There's no option but to move

forward to get your goals.

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So you can master your life. You

can empower all areas of your life.

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Any area of your life you don't

empower, people will overpower.

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And the over powerment that other people

give you will frustrate you enough to

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get yourself in gear and power your life.

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So if you're not empowered intellectually,

you'll be told what to think,

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and that'll frustrate you

until you eventually say,

I want to think for myself.

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If you don't empower yourself in

business, you'll be told what to do,

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and that'll frustrate you until you

finally decide to be an entrepreneur.

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If you work for others, you'll pay the

most tax. If you work for yourself,

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you'll pay less tax. If you

invest and have long-term vision,

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you'll pay even less taxes. The world

rewards people that live masterfully.

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And if you do that, you'll go places.

And the same thing with money.

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If you want to quickly,

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immediate gratifying and spend money and

compare yourself to the Joneses instead

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of deferring gratification,

well, you'll have money you know,

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run your life and you'll basically be

buying consumables that depreciate,

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you won't get ahead financially,

you won't master that area.

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Deferred gratification

financially pays off.

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I learned that a long time ago to save

a little bit and incrementally increase

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that amount and invest it.

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And I've been investing 42 years

and I never stopped investing.

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And I've not spent it. I'm a net

buyer like Warren Buffett taught me.

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And I just kept buying and buying and

buying and buying stocks until they grow

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and they work for me.

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And I'd much rather have money working

for me than me having to work for it all

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the time. You want to do both.

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You want to do something you really love

to do so you don't care about working,

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you do it because you love

doing it. But at the same time,

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you want your money working for you and

you want to grow the business that you

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dream about.

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And you want to be able to be able to

think for yourself and not be just an

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automaton reacting and parroting what

other people who may have a different

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intention have on you.

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And you want to be able to decide

how you want your life to look.

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It may not be what matches your

tradition or convention or your family's,

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or it may, but be honest about it

and what is really important to you,

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because your life will go by and you'll,

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repressing what you really want

in life is not where the power is.

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Giving yourself permission to do

what you really love is liberating.

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And the same thing socially.

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Everybody around you is

going to be imposing their

values onto you and trying to

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get you to live in their

values. And the question is,

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is do you want to conform and fit in or

do you want to stand out? When people,

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I ask them, how many want to make

a difference? They all say yes.

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The question is how are you going

to make a difference fitting in?

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You're going to make a difference

standing out and then being yourself,

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but yet at the same time,

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communicating what you're committed to

in terms of other people's values to meet

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their needs. You can't do

it narcissistically. You

can't do it altruistically.

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You can't sacrifice, you can't

sacrifice them for you or you for them.

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You have to have sustainable fair exchange

to maximize your return socially and

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economically. And the

same thing in your health.

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When you're living by priority and you're

basically doing something you love to

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do, your wellness quotient goes up, your

resilience and adaptability goes up.

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Your distress levels go down. So

it's to your advantage to do it.

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And if you prioritize your life and live

by what's most important and live your

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dreams, you're more inspired by your

life and grateful for your life and your

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fulfillment in life is how

much gratitude you have.

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If you're not grateful on a daily

basis, you're missing out on life.

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That's why I keep a record on a daily

basis and I encourage people at the

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Breakthrough Experience to keep a record

of every day of the gratitudes that

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they've experienced. Every day I do

that, I don't miss a day on that.

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It's a document every single day.

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I metric the achievements and

I document the gratitudes.

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And now I get to have something, I

had the opportunity to do this today,

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had the opportunity to meet these people,

had the opportunity to go this place,

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had the opportunity to

do this presentation,

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had the opportunity to read this book.

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I keep records of that because I learned

from my mom when I was very young,

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four years old, those that count their

blessings have more blessings to count.

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I was born on Thanksgiving Day so I'm

a firm believer that that's the key.

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So if you follow those formats

and get clear about your mission,

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dominate your thought on it,

visualize it in your mind's eye,

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affirm it in your head

so you can articulate it

clearly so you're clear about

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what you want, until you're

actually inspired by it,

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you can see it and you feel

that's what I love. You know,

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when you're grateful for your

work, you love what you're doing,

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you're inspired by a vision,

you're enthusiastically working,

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you're certain about your skill

and you're present while you do it,

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you're going places.

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And if you then write it down in space

and time and plan it out with strategies

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and you take spontaneously action

on it with the energy that you have,

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because when you're living

by your higher priorities,

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your energy goes up and your resources,

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your brain automatically filters out

information in your highest values and you

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can see more opportunities

and more synchronicities.

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And if you're grateful for it and

you feel your self worth going up,

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because you're living your life more

congruently, you'll manifest the things.

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So you can master your life and

live your dream. But it takes work.

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It's not going to, you're not going

to happen by just fantasizing.

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You're not going to do it by reading

a book, one book or, or you know,

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watching a movie or something.

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You're going to do it by getting your

elbow grease in there and start doing the

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highest priority actions that help you

move in the direction of your dreams.

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I've just been doing that for 51 years

and people go, well, you're lucky. No,

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I'm not lucky. Luck is preparation

meeting, opportunity. And no,

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it's not because , you know, I'm gifted.

People say, oh, you're gifted. No.

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If you saw how many hours I put into

it, you wouldn't think it's gifted.

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You'll see, I don't want

to call people gifted,

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I want to say I found out

how many thousands of hours

they put into something.

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I met with a guy that was one of

the greatest pianists in the world,

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a concert pianist since

nine years old. He's 80.

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I asked him how many hours

average he did a day on a piano.

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He said 13 hours a day he practiced.

That's why he became a master.

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So don't be afraid to get in there and

put your elbow grease together and go to

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work. You work for what you

want, you get what you love.

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That's why I'm a firm believer,

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that's why I don't even

hardly take breaks .

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I don't want to be distracted

by low priority stuff.

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I want to keep going on what I love doing.

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And if I fill my day with

what I really am inspired by,

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it doesn't fill up with what I don't.

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So just wanted to share that little

message that you can live your dreams,

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you can master your life. It's

work. It's not necessarily,

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if you're looking for immediate

gratification and you're looking for the

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shortcut, the Lazy Man's Guide

to Enlightenment, forget it.

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But if you're willing to

do what it takes, travel,

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whatever distance and pay whatever

price to get what you really want,

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what you really want is yours. So I

just wanted to share that message.

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Hopefully that's meaningful.

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And I know that if you come to the

Breakthrough Experience and spend 25 hours

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with me, some of that's going to rub off.

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So if you got something out of this

30 minutes, come and join me there.

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because I know I can help you live

your dreams and master your life.

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