Episode summary introduction:

It is no surprise we all live in the metaphorical glass house, thereby illuminating the inherent hypocrisy in human judgment. 

TC & Maddog explore the complexities of judgment, particularly in light of the saying, "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." It is our contention that such judgment often stems from a lack of self-reflection, as we frequently fail to acknowledge our own imperfections while criticizing others. 

Through candid dialogue, we examine the societal and personal implications of judgment, emphasizing the necessity of introspection before we cast our stones. 

Join us as we embark on this enlightening journey, encouraging listeners to consider the ramifications of their judgments and the wisdom in understanding the full context of another's actions.

Topics discussed in this episode:

The discussion unfolds with a profound examination of the adage concerning glass houses, serving as a metaphor for the innate human proclivity to judge others while overlooking our own shortcomings. 

Through a series of engaging dialogues, the hosts elucidate the concept that everyone possesses personal vulnerabilities, rendering us all inhabitants of metaphorical glass houses. This revelation leads to an insightful discussion on the societal norms that perpetuate judgment, particularly in the context of the digital age, where criticisms are readily disseminated and magnified through social media platforms.

Listen as Tc & Maddog dissect the implications of this judgmental culture, emphasizing that it often arises from a lack of understanding and empathy towards the complexities of another's situation. 

Before we hastily cast judgment upon others, it is imperative to engage in self-reflection and consider our own faults, thereby fostering a more compassionate approach to interpersonal interactions. The conversation is interlaced with personal anecdotes that illustrate how ingrained habits of judgment can be traced back to early life experiences and societal conditioning.

As the episode progresses, a paradigm shift is proposed in the way we perceive judgment. They advocate for a dual approach, suggesting that for every judgment we make about another, we should simultaneously reflect on our own behavior. This introspective practice not only serves to temper our critical instincts but also encourages a deeper understanding of the human experience. 

We conclude our podcast with a poignant limerick that encapsulates the essence of their discussion, urging listeners to embrace empathy and introspection as guiding principles in their daily lives. Through this engaging dialogue, the hosts effectively illuminate the need for a more compassionate lens through which to view ourselves and others.

Walkabout takeaways:

• The conversation comes to life focusing on the common saying, 'people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones' and its implications in our daily interactions.
• Inevitably childhood influences our judgmental tendencies and the challenge of overcoming ingrained behaviors that lead to criticism of others.
• Consideration is given to self-reflection before passing judgment on 
• We discuss the notion that everyone occasionally requires direction, and 
• Ultimately, we encourage listeners to consider the full context of situations and recognize that everyone has their own struggles before making judgments.

More about E-Walkabout:

To learn more about Electronic Walkabout visit us at   www.ewalkabout.ca.

If you want to read more “Thoughts of the Day” check out TC’s Book at Amazon:

“St. Mike's Fortunes”

https://a.co/d/j5dGhBK 

Resource:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/ambigamy/201102/living-in-a-glass-house-dont-throw-one-stone-but-two 

A special thanks to Steven Kelly, our technical advisor, who keeps trying to teach these old dogs new tricks when it comes to sounds and recording!!

“Remember to take advantage of the moment before the moment takes advantage of you!”

Electronic Walkabout. No one should have to walk through life alone. We share the good times, the bad times and the best times.

Everyone needs a little direction now and again. And TC and Maddog are here to show you the way. A podcast where we talk about the important things in life. Come journey with us.

The Electronic Walkabout Maddog, I'm hoping you're having a great day. Look at the sun shining out there.

When it's 18 degrees out. TC it is hard to have a bad day.

Very hard to have a bad day. And we know when it rains around here, it rains.

We have an interesting episode for our listeners today and it sparks from a well known saying, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I love these surprises.

Join us this episode as we reflect on the fact that we may all live in a glass house and how throwing stones may help us in the end.

You always have an interesting twist.

It is a twist.

It is.

It is a twist. But first, as always, a thought for the day. Appreciation of life will always rest on the memories you make today.

I like that. And it's very true.

It is very true.

And to tell you the truth, where this came from is that I, of course you knew that we were down in Mexico and my daughter did a like a montage with music in the background of pictures from the trip. How neat. And really, it just spoke about the memories. And you don't have to go to Mexico to make those memories.

No.

And I think sometimes that gets lost because, you know, nowadays you see people filming an event or whatever and it's all about the filming and not so much about the event and being there anymore. So I think some stuff gets lost in that.

I think somehow we just have to be alive to the fact that when we talk about the good old days, it's what we do today that makes the good old days tomorrow true. Now, living in a glass house. Ever live in a glass house?

Yes. I am a curtain guy. I don't like rut.

What we're really talking about is judgment. So I'm. Why do we run to judge when we live in a glass house? Because I think we all do live in a.

Absolutely. And I just, I don't know, it seems lately, like with, with the Internet that, you know, criticisms and stuff are a normal thing.

They're doled out all the time.

And I think, you know, to your point with that phrase is that sometimes people shouldn't be passing said judgment or speaking on things because they're probably just as much in the wrong or share some sort of. I don't know how to describe it, but you know what I mean, like, they're, they're part of that equation and.

Not just standing, but you can't see your own faults. So maybe that's part of the, part of the challenge in itself. But where do we learn this, though? Because we, like I said, we truly do live in a.

In a glass house, but somehow. And you mentioned the Internet, but people have been judging people forever.

Yeah.

And I think that probably stems from your childhood growing up, just witnessing what your parents do, because I think all those values, traits and, you know, mannerisms we pick up as, as kids, and then that kind of follows us into life. So if you're, for example, if your dad, let's say, I don't know, just really despise people that cross the roads.

Let's just say as a weird example, you know, if you're seeing that all through your childhood and seeing him going, God, these darn pedestrian, chances are you're probably going to follow suit through your life because that was kind of ingrained in you from a young age. So I think where, maybe that's where some of that influence comes from.

Yeah, I think someone. Just a bit of a funny story with that because it kind of reflects what you're saying is that, of course, we're all perfect drivers, right?

Oh, for sure we are.

Right. So I'll have Josh in the car with me, and over the years, I'll see someone, let's say, make a driving move that really wasn't appropriate.

And the first word that comes out of my mouth is idiot. So as of late, while Josh is driving and one of those situation occurs, what do I hear coming out of his.

Boom, there it is.

There it is.

Right.

So it's something we learn, it becomes ingrained in us. But it's something that, as far as I'm concerned, it's kind of a negative thing.

Yeah, absolutely.

How can we avoid running into that judgment?

I don't know. That's harder than you would think. I, I just.

Because that you're breaking habits, you're breaking, you know, I call it, you know, muscle memory, for lack of a better term, just, you know, how you react to certain things continually. But I don't know, it's a. Is it a mind shift? Is it a. Like, how does one shift out of that mindset?

Well, why don't we do some brainstorming here just for the sake of that. Because you, because you're right. For some reason, we are hardwired to judge people when truly we're no different than anybody else.

And we do live in glass houses.

So is there a way that we can just say before we run to that judgment, to have something almost like a roadblock or something that says, hey, wait a second. Let's take two steps back before we go ahead and engage in that judgment?

Yeah. Some sort of reflection or pause for thought type thing. Yeah, yeah. It's. It's interesting how repetition causes you to do certain things or.

Prime example, just my son playing football, and he's a center, and he snapped a certain way for his whole football career.

So his.

His body's gotten used to it. Now he has to snap dead ball, so he's got to grab it from the top and just kind of float it, but it slightly adjusts his stance.

And he was having a lot of problems. I'm like, buddy, I said, you've trained your body without even thinking over the last 10 years to snap a certain way.

So it's not just going to be an instant change.

So I think in correlation with what you're saying is I think if people are ingrained and have those habits, it takes a major movement to shift that mindset.

Okay, I'm going to throw something into that equation. Is it possible that we run to that judgment because by pointing out someone else's.

Let's say whatever you want to talk about as an example and actually throws the heat off of us.

Sure, yeah. It elevates us in however we think, but it's putting somebody else down at the same time.

And here's some. Something I say on occasion, and it's. And it's terribly wrong because I do say, hey, I do live in a glass house.

And I may reflect whatever it is that I'm going to say about this person. So that gives me license.

So I know what I'm saying. But I'm going to say it even though it's probably not the right thing because.

Yeah, because I'm guilty of it, too.

Yeah, yeah, we all are.

But it. But it's not right.

No, no, no. It's. Yeah, it's hard to make change in life, whether it's just the way that you think or feel or act. And it. What do they say?

However many times you have to do something to break a habit? I can't remember is a big number. It's. I don't remember what it is.

Well, I don't know, because I was always thinking the other way around, how many times it takes to create A habit. Right. A positive habit.

Yeah.

Right. So it's probably the same. I would. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

They cancel each other out. Yeah.

I don't know. But I don' that's, that's. I never thought of that before. Right.

But as I was doing the in depth research on this, living in a glass house and let's be honest. Would you really want to live in a glass house? Think about how much work would be to keep those windows clean.

No, no. In my luck, there'd be Canadian geese that flew over every other day.

Really, we're talking about hypocrisy and that's the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform. Think about that.

Yep. Yeah, it makes complete sense. Like it's very accurate than description.

Well, let's, let's. And I'm, and I'm just thinking a lot when I, when I say this. Let's just, let's just think about this. Is it ever.

Okay, judge someone and let's say we just talk about it in a positive way.

Because if you're doing something that's totally out of left field and it's morally, ethically wrong and I'm judging you because of your behavior, not because of you, but because of your behavior, is it okay to do that at that point?

Yeah, I think if there's erroneous issues to your point of it being harmful or detrimental for somebody, I don't even know if it's passing judgment and you're just spouting facts at that time. Right. But yeah, it's.

And you know, the other saying that comes, that kind of links to this is, you know, until you walk a mile in someone's shoes, you know, you really don't know what they're going through. So, you know, our judgment is based on what we're viewing from a distance, but we don't know what has caused that specific action to happen.

Maybe it was something that that person was dealing with and we're seeing 60% of the story or the reasoning. So yeah, it's. Judging is. I don't see a lot of good come out of judging.

Okay. Just listening to what you said. Let's, let's jump back a few moments to what I suggested.

Is there something that somehow we can put a full stop and before we move forward with that judgment, have something pop into our mind? And maybe this is one of the things and it's something as simple as we don't know the full story behind this. Let's not run to judgment.

Let's just sit and listen. And if that individual chooses, Chooses to share, that's fine too.

They may or may not, but that, that might, let's say, change the fact that you're going to run the judgment. Or you might just simply say, oh, that makes sense.

Yeah.

Like if a guy's walking through shoppers and, you know, picks up two bags of chips at a chocolate bar and stuffs them in his jacket and tries to run out, we're all going to go, what a thief. Guy's a low life. He may have lost his job, lost his house, doesn't have enough money to buy. You just never know. Right.

And not saying it's an excuse or makes things, you know, right, wrong, or different. But there's sometimes different influencing factors that cause people to do things.

Yeah. And I think that's, that's a valuable thought when you're in that, okay, look what that person's done, full stop.

Is there a logical reason why that behavior is happening right now? And if you can say, okay, yeah, there is. But even if you can say, no, there isn't, doesn't mean that judgment's required or deserved.

True.

Here's, here's one that's always kind of. And it, and it's puzzled me because it kind of falls in line with the rest of the things we've been talking about. But do as I say, down as I breathe.

That is a famous parent saying.

That's exactly what I thought.

Yeah, it's. And it's, you know, there's other, you know, ways to go about, you know, learning from my mistakes that I made. Same type sentence.

But yeah, it's a, it's such a parenting statement.

But I, but I, but I remember the first time I heard it. I can't remember it was my mom or dad or, or a family member or whatever, but I'm the first thing that comes to mind.

Well, you just said that I need to this, this, and this, and then you go ahead and do the opposite.

But good luck as a child pointing that out to your hair God.

Yeah. So, okay, so, so you're thinking, okay, I can't wait till I get to be the parents so I can say, but do as I do, as I say, not as I do.

Yeah, but I, I think on that matter too, just like we were saying before, I don't think that that's planned. It's probably just you heard that growing up. So when you turn into said grown up, you, oh, now I can use that.

So when you turn into that said grow up. And I like the way you said. Said grow up, because I. I don't think I'm ever going to grow up.

Ask my wife. I haven't strength.

What are you thinking as a kid? I can't wait until I'm an adult. So I can. No, I can just do what I want. It doesn't matter.

No, I don't think so. I think it just kind of buries in the recess of your brain. And when you get older and stuff, you know, it's lots of different things.

Like, my dad has a very specific way of putting his bottom lip over his upper lip. And it's just something I watched him do his whole life. And then where was I?

I was in an airport, and I look in, like, across, and I saw, you know, window. I'm like, God, that guy's grumpy. And I. It was me. And I looked exactly like my. When he did that rolling, it was. It was.

I hadn't meant to do it, but when I saw it, I was like, oh, what? And then I'm like, God, it looks like my dad. And I'm like, oh, wow, that's me.

So just like I said, I never planned to do that as an adult, but I saw my dad, and I grew up with watching him do that. So that's just something I copied without even knowing.

Do you want to change that?

Nah, that. That one's okay.

You're okay.

That one's okay.

Yeah, but there. There are things, obviously, as we grow up that are ingrained in us that. That really don't do us any favors.

No, not at all.

So can we really avoid being judgmental?

I think if you want to, you could, but you have to be conscious of it and making conscious effort. I don't think it just happens on its own.

That's. That's kind of was. I was thinking the same thing, but that's.

That's kind of where I was going a little bit, because I think at times there's some positive aspects of being judgmental. It's just knowing where the line is, I guess. Yeah. Best way to put it, Right? So.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember quite vividly when my wife and I first started dating.

We were in Ottawa, and I was driving and I was stuck in traffic, and I was watching a guy walk normally. He was walking normally, everything was fine.

He went to cross the road, and then he started kind of running like Terry Fox did, you know, with that kind of double skip type thing. And I was like, what is this clown doing? And then when he got to the other side, he misjudged the curb and he ate it hard. And I laughed.

I'm like, that'll teach you, sir. You know what I mean?

Like, oh, yeah.

So a little bit of judgment at that time, but I was like, no, I watched you walk properly. Now you, I don't know what the purpose of why you were doing that, but yeah, it just, it didn't seem right.

But I passed a judgment thinking the guy was an idiot.

Okay, so I'll have one like that. But. And maybe this is something our listeners might think about next time they're walking down the street.

Why, and this is a fair judgment, why do people walk down the street with their hands in their pockets? Because if you fall, what happens?

You're going face first.

You're going face first. And what does it take for you to learn that lesson?

Hopefully not more than once. Yeah, but interesting.

Yeah. And I say that because I remember there was a buddy of mine, you can walk into the house one day and his face was just a mess.

And I said, what happened to you? So he tells me the story. Liquor, may or may not ball, but it doesn't, doesn't matter.

No, because when your hands are in your pocket and you trip, there's only one thing you're going to do and that's kiss the ground. That's it, Tanny. In this case, it happened to be the sidewalk.

Yeah. And it doesn't, it kisses pretty hard. So.

It kisses pretty hard. Yeah. We'll call that tough love.

Yes, very much so, yeah.

Do you think judgments change over time?

I would like to think.

Okay, let's explore that a little bit.

And I'm thinking, okay, so we'll, we'll just say a 20 year old that's looking at a picture and a 4 year old that's looking at the same picture or the same person, same behavior. What do you think?

The thoughts are two completely different track because the person who's in there, who's 40, has, has had 20 more years of life experience to see things, you know, experience things, witness things that probably form the basis of how they're thinking at that time. Whereas a 20 year old, still fresh, still young, they see it interpreted for immediately what it is without any other kind of influencing factor.

So I would absolutely say that age.

Affects that thought process and based on, based on the life experience. Right?

Yeah.

Because if that 40 year old has had, you know, crap luck for 20 years and got fired from jobs and lost girlfriends and Stuff he's probably going to have a pretty pessimistic attitude and just not overly happy. Whereas if that 20 year old just graduated high school, got a good job and all that sort of stuff.

So it's, you know, it's still the same 40 and 20 year old, but based on experiences, are in a completely different mindset and will view that picture differently, I assume.

Yeah, that makes sense. I'm just thinking, okay, so living, living in a glass house and know you're living in a glass house. Getting back to.

And I like the suggestion that, you know, like what do you do to, to avoid that judgment? Maybe you need more information so you can, you can decide whether in fact there's, there, there is a reason to be judgmental.

Number one, here's, here's another idea. And this gets back to the twist we were talking about at the beginning. So don't throw one stone.

So you throw one stone at the glass house, but the other stone you throw at you. And the reason why you do that, the one stone appears like you're always judging.

Yeah.

But the other stone causes you to reflect and is intended to temper your judgment and thoughts.

I like that, makes sense.

So it's not just one, but it's two.

But if you're getting ready to throw a stone at a glass house, get ready to receive that stone as well and kind of really do some introspection, some reflection and say to yourself, does there need to be any judgment?

Well, yeah.

And I think if you do that once or twice and realize maybe after going through that exercise that you change your thinking a bit, you will probably second guess throwing that stone in the first place. If you get to a good spot. Yeah.

And, and one of the things, and I, I can't imagine that we could would because you'd have to have the life experience. Do you think about going around the world and the different cultures, the different ways that people greet and so some cultures.

And that reminds me, I want to bring up something with you in a second.

Some cultures don't think anything about kissing people on the cheek when they're, when they're, you know, meeting them, shaking their hands, hugging where other cultures are, you know, kind of standoffish. Yeah. So if, if I'm like say, landing out of the, out of the sky into this new culture. I have no idea. I'm used to my own. And this is happening.

Yeah.

There's some judgment that.

Absolutely. Yeah. That's fair. And yeah, I, I experienced that briefly and just even in our own country, I Went.

I was in Montreal for work and just started with a new company, and a couple of ladies I was meeting came up high and just went right in for kisses on either side of cheek. You want to talk about uncomfortable?

Yeah.

Because me, it's looking more like an HR violation to them. It's a genuine, you know, greeting that. That shows.

And it's heartfelt, too.

Yeah, yeah. But it's. It's that first, like, oh, my God. What do I just stand here with my hands beside my side?

But yeah, to your point about, you know, other cultures and stuff, you just don't know how they operate.

See, if I, you know, if I was like, let's say your partner were in there and she's doing that to you. I'm thinking she's certainly footloose and fans brazen sheets.

It's.

That's it. When really there's. There's nothing other than a hey, how are you?

Right. Yeah. So it's interesting that. To look at it that way, because, yes, culture and traditions would.

If you're not familiar with them, would cause you to pass judgment.

So the thing that I do want to talk to you about, because I heard it as I was listening to the radio the other day, and you can say that there's some positive things that came out of COVID I'm not so sure at this point, because it kind of falls in line. What we just talked about before COVID We didn't think twice about shaking someone's hand during the greeting. Not. Not so much. No. What do we do?

We give the physical pump. Yeah.

So I'm still a hugger, and people don't have a choice. It's like, if you can get away from me, sure, no problem. But I'm hugging you.

Yeah, but you see where I'm going? Just that simple thing. And. And it's. And it's. I think it's an awkward social thing because you really don't know what to do.

Yeah. Yeah. And you want to be respectful of people. You also don't want to come across as cold. So. Yeah. And I hug you. Sure. Okay. There we go.

Well, that. And that was the thing, like, someone was saying, like, if they're a hugger, do you have to ask permission first or you just let happen. What's.

What's your problem?

I. I do it anyway. Doesn't. Yeah, I'm a hugger. It's. I don't ask. And then I think people know that I usually declare it, too.

So I'm just thinking, listening to my inside voice right now. "James never gives me a hug".

That's funny.

Yeah.

Well, answer.

Okay.

On the Challenge accepted.

All right, on that note, I have to tell you that that music is starting to play again.

Convenient timing.

Keeping in mind that we've all we've all we've discussed about living in glass houses, I want to end this episode with a limber. And it's all in line with what I've already measured from glass houses. One shouldn't throw stone. How else can my standards be shown?

I throw them in pairs. One at mine, one at their. Holding me to my standards helps home.

I like that.

Now that that comes from a gentleman by the name of Jeremy Sherman, who has a Ph.D. and of course, in the philosophy discipline.

I like that. Then that wraps up everything we just said about, you know, throwing one at yours as well as theirs.

And, yeah, so there's always something positive. Right? But, like, just think about that next time you want to throw that stone glass.

Oh, look at that. I almost only happen to have one.

So remember to take advantage of the moment before the moment takes advantage of you. To learn more about E-Walkabout, please visit us at Ewalkabout.ca.