Diving right into the digital world of dating, especially on kinky apps, can feel like navigating a minefield. Let's talk about that crucial first message—because yes, it can make or break your chances. Desire has seen it all, from cringe-worthy openers that had her hitting the block buttons faster than you can say "swipe left" to messages that piqued her interest immediately.

What do men think women want, and what do they actually want? There's often a big gap there, not to mention the mess caused by fake femdoms that hurts everyone's game.

Approaching someone on these apps? It’s crucial to get the tone right. Going full dom on a submissive before even meeting? Big no-no. We'll break down the right way to craft that first message—one that sparks excitement and curiosity instead of the urge to swipe left. Plus, we’ll give you examples of what works to get that eager reply. Ready to turn your dating app experience around? Let’s dive in.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Examples of intro messages Desire received that made her block or report the guy on kinky apps (don't do this!).
• What men think women on kinky apps want.
• What women on kinky apps really want.
• The rise of the fake femdoms phenomenon (and why it hurts everyone on kinky apps).
• How to approach submissive women VS how to approach submissive men - why what works with men backfires with women.
• If you're approaching a submissive on a kinky app, is it ok to dom them before even meeting them in person?
• The secret to writing a first message that makes your kinky interest excited to engage with you (80% of people DON'T do this!).
• Examples of intro messages that get replies.

3 VALUE BOMBS

• When writing that first message, imagine the person is in front of you. What would you say to him/her?
• Sending very sexual messages as an introduction is the same as barging into someone's living room without being invited: it's a boundary violation.
• Let the conversation naturally evolve towards sex and kink. If you feel you're pushing it, you probably are - and it won't end well.

LET'S CONNECT

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