Intro:

So, here’s the scoop: this week on Choosing Happy, I felt like I’d just walked through a self-help funhouse—twists, turns, and a few shocking reflections that left me gasping! Picture me, your host, Heather Masters, knee-deep in an audit of my life, and trust me, it wasn’t a pretty sight. I realised I was juggling a gazillion projects—my podcast, newsletters, and a creative writing group, all while feeling like I was running on fumes. It’s like trying to keep a million plates spinning, only to find out most of them were actually wobbly. Oops! That moment of clarity hit me like a ton of bricks as I uncovered that I had this sneaky belief that struggle was synonymous with worthiness. Spoiler alert: it’s not!

So, I dug deep—like, deeper than I’ve ever dared go before. I unearthed some childhood beliefs about struggle and worth that were keeping me locked in a cycle of overwork and overwhelm.

My mum’s admiration for those who overcame adversity made me think that if things were easy, they simply weren’t valuable. And my dad’s “nothing is good enough” mantra? Well, that just added fuel to my procrastination fire!

It became crystal clear that I was creating chaos where there was none, and the weight of that realisation was… heavy. But here’s the golden nugget: after a good ol’ life audit, I decided to cut back on all the excess projects that were draining my energy. I realised I didn’t have to prove myself through pain or struggle—what a revelation!

We’re all about focusing on what truly matters, and I’m here to guide you to do the same. I’ve learned that ease doesn’t mean you’re not working hard; it simply means you’re aligning with what’s right for you.

So, let’s shift gears together. I challenge you to find one thing you can simplify or let go of this week. It’s time to release that old identity that says you have to suffer to be successful. Let’s embrace the idea that completion is freedom, and we’re not here to just struggle our way through life. Who’s with me?

Takeaways:

• The realisation that struggle doesn't equal worthiness can transform your approach to success.
• Completing tasks and projects is a sign of freedom, not a scarcity mindset.
• Embracing ease in your work doesn't mean you're lazy; it means you're aligned and focused.
• Cutting back on commitments is not quitting; it's about prioritising what truly matters to you.
• Your past doesn't dictate your future; let go of identities that no longer serve you.
• Finding joy in simplicity can lead to a more fulfilling and productive life.

Chapters:

• 00:11 - Reflections on the Past Week
• 02:29 - Unpacking the Stories We Tell Ourselves
• 04:31 - Confronting Overwhelm: A Journey to Clarity
• 07:00 - Realising the Value of My Work
• 08:34 - Embracing Wholeness and Letting Go

How You Can Connect with Heather and Support This Independent Podcast:

Please like, share with someone who may need to hear this today, and/or leave a review and support the podcast. I really appreciate it.

Tired of the same patterns keeping you stuck?

Check out the Pattern Breaker Coaching Program: www.choosinghappy.co.uk/pattern-breaker

Want to dive deeper? Drop me an email: heather@heathervmasters.com

Join the conversation: Community | https://buymeacoffee.com/choosinghappy

More :

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Hello and welcome to Wednesday Real stories on the Choosing Happy Podcast.

I'm Heather Masters, your host, and let me take you right into a moment from this past week.

One of those truths you don't really want to look at moments.

I was sitting there staring at this massive audit of everything I've been doing.

I've used AI to to look at my podcast.

My two newsletters are Creating Creative Writing Group Start With AI A hundred little spinning plates.

And I had this uncomfortable realization that I'm doing far too much and achieving very little from any of it.

And the worst part, I already knew it.

I just didn't want to look at it.

So if you can relate, grab a cuppa and join me in today's Choosing Happy Podcast.

I'd been feeling this weird, heavy resistance for a while.

Like, no matter how much I worked, something wasn't clicking, something wasn't landing.

I couldn't make a decision.

Everything was in progress, but nothing was finishing.

So I did something I've avoided for months, even maybe years.

I stopped.

I sat down and I did a full, brutal, honest audit of my life and my work.

And I went deep, deeper than I've ever gone before.

And what I saw, wow.

It wasn't pretty, but it was eye opening.

And here's the big aha moment.

The one thing that hit me right in the gut, somewhere deep inside, I don't believe I can be successful unless I'm struggling.

And let me repeat that, because maybe you need to hear it too.

I believed struggle equals worthiness and ease equals not earned.

Which means if something felt natural, I complicated it.

If something was working, I made it harder.

If something was aligned, I shuddered it into exhaustion, even if that's a word.

And because I was always in struggle mode, I never let myself finish anything.

And the truth behind that.

Two very old stories.

Story one was rooted in my mum's admiration for people who overcame adversity.

She really valued people who survived hardship, people who fought through difficulty, people who rose from trauma or suffering or chaos.

And as a kid watching that, I learned that if I'm not struggling, I'm not admirable.

If it's easy, it's not valuable.

And if I'm not overcoming something, I actually don't matter.

There was no recognition from my mum.

So what did I do?

I created adversity where there was none.

I made projects harder.

I pushed myself into overwhelm.

And I complicated simple things.

I became addicted emotionally to the feeling of surviving.

Not thriving.

Surviving.

And story two, my dad's story.

Nothing is ever good enough.

That's the other side of this double whammy.

My dad's energy of.

Yeah, but it could be better.

98%.

What happened to the other two?

Why didn't you do it this way?

That's fine, but.

So of course I don't finish things, because subconsciously, what's the point?

It's never good enough.

Why complete it?

And layered under that, another fear.

A quieter one, and yet a more painful one.

If I am successful, I lose it.

It'll be taken away.

The shoe will drop.

So you can imagine this perfect storm.

If I struggle, I'm worthy.

If I succeed, it won't last.

And if I finish, I'll be judged.

Or something will be taken away.

No wonder everything felt heavy.

No wonder my why wasn't working.

So after this audit, this brutal, honest reckoning, I realized something.

I had to cut back a lot.

Like now.

Not because I'm lazy, not because I'm quitting, but because spreading myself across 12 different things meant I wasn't succeeding at any of them.

And the ugliest, truest sentence I wrote down, heather, you're chasing too many rabbits and catching none.

Ugh, that's true.

And I'm wondering if you can relate.

So I looked at one of the biggest energy drains I have, and that is my creative writing Facebook group.

And I love it.

I asked myself, where is the actual value here?

What have I already created?

What's working?

What can be simplified?

What doesn't need me to hold it all the time?

And I ran an AI through the group, a full audit of my paid group and my Facebook group, and I realized I poured huge value into the group already.

And instead of honoring that value, I kept trying to build more, more and more.

So I made the decision in the last few days to give each offer the right level of value.

Stop over serving, stop over delivering.

Stop overcompensating, stop proving myself.

Reduce the time, not the quality.

And the moment I decided that, I felt something loosen inside of me, like, oh, there is another way.

There's a softer way.

And here's where it gets almost funny.

I've been building GPTs, AI helpers for my podcast and newsletter and creative group, and they've saved me hours.

But until now, I wasn't really letting them help me, because if it didn't feel hard, I didn't feel I'd earned it.

So even though I was producing a podcast much faster, I spent an extra hour analyzing to make sure it was perfect.

See the pattern?

Now I'm actively asking, where can I get a return on my value?

Where can I reuse the content I've also already created?

And this was another huge realization.

I've got 15 years of contact.

15, and I've barely used any of it.

And that's not a lack of content.

It's not lack of worthiness or quality.

And so it's changing now.

Right now, the biggest shift I realized there's nothing virtuous in suffering, nothing holy about overwhelm, and nothing admirable about self neglect.

When I'm fully me, fully supported, fully rested, and fully cherished by myself, my cup overflows.

And that is when I can truly serve.

We're not here to run on empty.

We're not here to virtue signal.

We're here to create from wholeness, from being.

So the lessons Number one, ease doesn't mean you're unworthy.

It means aligned.

Number two, success doesn't require struggle, it requires focus.

Number three, completion isn't scarcity, it's freedom.

And number four, you don't have to prove yourself through pain.

Not anymore.

Let that one go.

And number five, cutting back isn't quitting.

It's choosing what matters and choosing what's effective.

So this week's challenge is simple but not easy.

Choose one thing to put down, one thing to reduce, one thing to simplify, one thing to let go of.

And ask yourself honestly, am I doing this because it's aligned or because struggling feels safer?

And if this resonated, message me or tag me on the socials at choosing HappyPodcast.

And if you're letting go of an identity that's been running the show for far too long, remember I'm right here with you.

We're not struggling our way to success anymore.

We're focusing our way to it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this week's episode.

If you enjoyed it or think it would be valuable to others, please do share.

And if you really enjoyed it, please leave me a review.

It really helps the podcast.

All of the links are in the show notes, and I look forward to seeing you next week on the Choosing Happy podcast.