Life is hard. Whether you’re working for your next promotion, running a business, parenting, getting physically fit, or trying to set a personal record (PR), there will be moments that feel so difficult you will want to quit. Usually these are opportunities to grow—challenges we get to work through to become the best version of ourselves. Every once in a while though, our minds, bodies, or circumstances give us signs that it really is time to throw in the towel.

So how do we know the difference? How do we know when we need to push harder to reach our goal versus give our bodies and minds time to rest so we can move on to the next best thing? That’s exactly what you’ll learn in this episode.

View full show notes here.

00:00 - Adam (Host)

Today on the show we're going to talk about how your success in business dramatically depends on your ability to be able to sit through pain longer than anybody else will. How to calm your inner world so that you can handle your outer world. And what the really means is how to actually be able to handle whatever's happening in your current life right, and the tougher that the moment gets, the more narrow your focus needs to be in life and in business. That's one of the wonderful takeaways you can take away from today. Welcome to the 200% live podcast with Adam Hergenrother and Caitlin Frautlin, where we bring you weekly insights into spiritual growth and business success.

00:42

So, caitlin, it's fun every morning oh, hold on, not every morning. Once a year I like to do what's called an annual personal record and, as you know, in the wintertime we like to skin up. So skinning for people that don't remember is basically you put a skin on the bottom of your ski. You have an alpine touring binding, so it turns around and almost acts like a cross country ski, but you're on a downhill ski, so it's heavier, but you go uphill and then, when you get up there, you take your skin off and you click the binding back around and you go downhill.

01:10 - Caitlin (Host)

In fact is it cloth.

01:12 - Adam (Host)

02:01

training is in still Vermont, so for the whole world the coaches are.

02:05

Actually one of the coaches resides in still Vermont because it has just a huge population of Schimo racing. For what it is, it's actually going in the Olympics, so people will probably see it more during it. Anyways, there is a segment called the nose dive segment, which is the most popular segment pretty much in probably Vermont that people go after and get to and every year we go for like an annual personal record, right, and it's not about necessarily getting number one, but you kind of do it so this morning because the conditions matter, and so right now we're in a cold stretch with good snow, so it's it's grippy, you can slide. Once it starts to become above freezing and then freezes at night, it's really slippery, hard to get slips on. You know, on those setups it's magic to work crampons and stuff.

02:49

So now was the opportunity. So three of us went today this morning and pushed it like 545 this morning to do annual PR and they're so painful but so much fun. Right, you can actually hear my voice because my lungs are shot from pushing this. I actually moved up five spots. I was 17th before overall out of thousands of people and I moved up in the 12th position today, which is really cool.

03:13 - Caitlin (Host)

So is that like nationally, or it's?

03:15 - Adam (Host)

anybody that ever does that segment.

03:17 - Caitlin (Host)

Wow, and it's the only.

03:18 - Adam (Host)

It's the segment that's the most popular segment in the state, so it was pretty cool. But yeah, it's a full on push and it's just it's. It's, you know, like it's a mind battle, right.

03:28

It's no different than, like, the inner and outer worlds that we talk about. It's like you know, I always talk about self masteries, overcoming that voice inside your head. Like people talk about self mastery and business and leadership, self mastery is overcoming that voice inside your head that tries to derail you from your goal. Right, it tries to take you away from it. It's trying to talk you out of it. And the entire time, like you're doing this, this push, you know that it's going to hurt, you know that it's going to be painful, but the mind is the worst part about it. It's like, oh, you can stop, you should stop, you shouldn't push this hard. And it's actually overcoming that battle is what allows you to physically. No, look, everyone has a physical limitation based on your training. But physically you can, you can push yourself, but it's only the mind that says this hurts too much, this is painful, whatever it is. And so you just practice the same techniques that we do in meditation or in spirituality or in leadership.

04:17

When you're doing a push like that for exercise, which is just you hear it but you're just not paying attention to it, and I always. For me, it's it's like a. The mantra I always go to is I count to a hundred. So every stride I count to a hundred and just strax you from your mind to be able to push through those different things. So and it's and, and we do a skin with our kids and that I teach them that mental techniques that we do as well, because those can be applied to so much Like in your leadership and somebody tells you all of a sudden they want to quit or they want to resign or that you know you have a lawsuit coming, like, how do you instantly get back to a place of someone, of clarity, instead of being caught by the mind of all the things that are going to happen? Well, you can do a lot of these techniques three, two, one. Relax, you can count to a hundred, you can breathe, whatever it is that you need to do.

05:03

So part of the balance between right, this inner and outer world, is being able to calm your inner world so you can handle the outer world. And that's in like it shows up in every part of life. That's why spirituality is never like this, you know, reserved for people that want to sit in a cave, and that's why we wrote the 200% life. The way we did is because this is designed for people that are, that are very active in the world, they have families, they have businesses and they have tons of struggles, like I don't mean struggles in a negative way, but they're. It's challenging. It's challenging out there, right, it's hard, and so having these, having the ability to be able to center your inner world so you can handle the outer world, is the essence of spirituality.

05:42 - Caitlin (Host)

Do you think that like, uh, like physical fee like you're talking about, is it? You're saying it's the same, but is it almost because it's like on a condensed time scale, that you, like, are so committed to it, your goal is so clear you only have to do it for a few hours or something that it is really great practice for something like leadership which spans over a much larger period of time? Like, is there something about it being like this intense burst of I think it's two things.

06:10 - Adam (Host)

I think one is you learn how to mentally handle things.

06:13

I mean that's really what it is and and and leadership. While it's longer, it's more of a marathon. There's actually more moments of reprieve to, in my opinion, whereas when you're doing a push like that, there is nothing, there is no ounce of reprieve, and so you're in it and it's just painful. Even doing an iron man, right Like, or a triathlon, you know, and and when you do it, when you do a full iron man, that's, you know, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 hours long, there's it's just painful the whole time. So it's that mental battle that you have to win, even in the in in hell week. They in the Navy SEALs, if you read about what they go through mentally, they actually talk about the physical feats that they asked you to do or not. That it's you have to train for them. But they're not like running a six minute mile, they're running an eight, 30 mile, right.

07:01

Which isn't again. That's a wonderful mile, but it's not an extraordinary like you're running, you know, a Roger Bannister four minute mile or the number of 20 pull-ups. Right, it's not again. You have to train for these things, but it's it's. They talk about how it's mostly mental and that's what they're trying to break in people is are you willing or can you push through the mental challenges of this? Because when you, then when you're forced in training, you don't quit and fail.

07:25

And it's the same, I think, physicality, bringing that physicality into leadership, which is why I always push for.

07:31

You know, when we first started in project you, we meet, we didn't make people, but people signed up for some physical challenge. That was very difficult for them, and people still, to this day, email me or or or remind me of, like that year, that they went and did a half Ironman or they did a triathlon or they did a long swim or they ran their first half marathon, right, whatever, it's all the same hard, and so it doesn't matter really what the, the actual activity is, but it's the, the benefit of being able to push through, of realizing, hey, I don't have to listen to this thing, I don't have to listen to this voice, tell me or derail me from my goals, and then you can bring that into leadership. And and part of my success in business is literally just being willing to sit there in the pain longer than most people, and I think that's the truth for any business owner. You know, we, a couple of weeks ago we put in our Tuesday newsletter, right About you know? Um, uh, was Bill Gates right? Who had the door right?

08:26 - Caitlin (Host)

Oh, um Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Bezos. He was like why am I drawing a bike with that?

08:33 - Adam (Host)

But he had. He, you know he used the door as a reminder. But the article really kind of also talked about how is. It was also a reminder of the struggle that you had to go through to be able to kind of succeed through that. And it's to me that's no different than a physical feat, because it's still. They're both mental challenges. Leadership is a mental challenge, just like physicality is using your body, and it's also a mental challenge.

08:54 - Caitlin (Host)

So when you say you're willing to sit in the struggle of leadership longer than other people, or whatnot. So what are like some tangible examples of that? Is it like losing money?

09:05 - Adam (Host)

and like.

09:06 - Caitlin (Host)

Yeah, cultural problems like yeah.

09:08 - Adam (Host)

I get that one of my friends, like four or five years ago, was having a conversation with a dear friend of mine and he's very successful, and he said to me he goes. There was another friend of mine who we kind of like reached a different level of plateau and of success and he came up to me and he's like you know, I finally figured this out and I was like, yeah, would you figure out? And he said I realized that you are willing, you and this other friend of mine are willing to sit in much more pain than I am in order to get to the level that you guys are at. And I'm not willing to do that. And he was just very clear on that. I think it's a couple things. It's not only is it losing money, it's just the. It's the, it's the mental struggle of like are we gonna make it right? It's like, you know, in the heart things about heart things. One of my favorite books in business by Ben Horowitz, he calls it, he calls them with feel moments.

09:55

They call it's worth fuck this over and he said every entrepreneur has three or four a year and it's so true, you just so.

10:02

That's the mental battle, right, it's like you built all this. You spend time, years and all of a sudden in an hour, by the way, it can happen like this you totally fine. And then an hour later you get an email somebody quits and you get a lawsuit, and then you're going we're done right, like it's. The mind will instantly go yep, you're done right, you're not gonna make it like it's, and uh, and so I think that's that's. The challenge is is that it's never ending. It's like when the physicality, you know it's gonna end, but in leadership it's. You may get through one hurdle, a challenge, one of the obstacles, just open the door for another one. That's even bigger the answer, and that's and that's what's you know.

10:37

And again, I read recently that the number one threat to big businesses is being sued right now. Right, because we're such a society, so that's heavily on people's minds of what happens. If I'm sued, right, what do I do? How do I protect my things and so people? It's that being able to sit in that pain of dealing with people which is wonderful and challenging at the same time, because they're people just like you. You are wonderful, right?

11:03

specifically but you meet everybody right we're wonderful and also very difficult at times to kind of interact with, just deal with. Right, it's just not it's. It is what it is. And then you've got you know the, you know economic factors that happen, from market cycles and downturns and upturns. You have all these different things that are going on. So being able to sit in that pain and just recognizing for what it is and knowing that you can get through it and I don't mean knowing that you're gonna get through it and you're gonna succeed, just knowing that you will always get through it and still be here, it's when we're.

11:34

We're in that book they talk about how this guy was running a public-eutrated company which is, you know, you're exposed everywhere from your public-eutrated company and the CEO's mentor, this guy, was getting me, this company was dropping and people were leaving the company and it was just, it was all over the news and it was basically like you know, like every article was talking about how bad leadership was and all the stuff. And his mentor walked in and said they're not gonna eat you. And I've always remembered that he's like what he's like.

11:59

Yeah, they can't eat you, like so and he's like, and then he said that moment and he realized, like you're right, they can't they can't say things but they can't eat me, like meaning again that like you're still gonna be there to the stunts, the sun's still gonna show up and you can still show up and do whatever it is asked for you to be able to do. And that's kind of how you have to approach building any business or even in any job that you're in, is there's gonna be moments you go like wow, like am I cut out for this? Can I do this? Like how do I understand product take, they could do this.

12:28

All the challenges are gonna happen in business. But that's why, you know, 15 years ago I started saying business is nothing but a conduit for your personal growth, because when you're in business and you're doing this, of course you can say that for life, because life's the thing. But when you're, when business is your sport and that's what you're doing, it is nothing but growth. Every day there's, I mean, you may have wins and successes, but those are growth too. It's like so all of a sudden, you have the best month profitability wise. Okay, how do you handle that? Right, do you? And, by the way, we all make mistakes when that happens, because then you take your eye off the ball, then you stop paying attention to expenses you may be increase your lifestyle too much. All these things start to happen and actually you know you're like, oh shit, I made this mistake again, or a new mistake that came in that you weren't expecting to happen. So business is nothing but a conduit for our personal growth, and the personal growth is can I sit here long enough? What have all of these challenges? To show up and be able to handle the reality that's in front of me? That's why we always talk about spirituality for you to just drop the word personal growth. Spirituality is just about handling reality in front of you so that you're clear enough, and the work that we always talk about on this podcast is getting your interstate clear and knowing the techniques to be able to make your interstate clear so you can handle whatever is in front of you your kids screaming, you know your employees really upset with you, right?

13:48

I gave the example recently. You know mark on a conference call is leading. Like two years ago Facebook was like their investors were suing them. Mark zuckerbergs was in the news for being the worst CEO. I mean, I'm paraphrasing, but like it was, like then it was at its lowest value that's ever been. They thought the company wasn't gonna make it. People started suing. I mean, it was, it was. This is a whole war. Now, all of a sudden, two years later, meta is the most valuable company in the world as we sit today, right over like 1.22 trillion dollars or something. And they're talking about how is amazing comeback? So it's, that's just. It was such a, you know, a great example of just the leadership journey.

14:26

There's gonna be moments where you're running uphill, there's a wind and it feels like you're carrying a piece of plywood up the hill, trying to hold in front of you, trying to run. It's so hard, but that's it. And then there's other times when you're running downhill and it's like the winds behind you, everything's going easy. That's just part of the flow of it, and so what I want people to realize is that neither one is better. Neither one of them is better. That you're gonna have and this is just ebbs and flows of different you know, hurdles or resistance is gonna show up, but if we look at, this is like, okay, how do I raise the moment up and how do I use this as personal growth so that I can grow through this next thing? So I have a. So the year of better off for having that experience that you went through. That's how you approach these things. That's how you're able to sit there a little bit longer and you don't have to Walk in there and be like, okay, I gotta be here for five years. Just take it day by day.

15:18

I always tell people like a tactic you can take away is when things get really challenging in your life. Just break that down into small, small bites of okay, what does the next 10 minutes need to look like? What is the next half an hour need to look like? What is the next hour need to look like? How do I win in the next minute, literally, if it's really challenging, how do I win in the next minute? All things that I've done my entire life. So it's like.

15:40

You know, even today, when I was doing that PR, I was like how do I win in the next second? Like how can I take one more step at the speed Right? And that's all it was, because it was so painful that it was you drill it down to one more slide of my ski. I can do one more, I can do one more. That's all I kept saying. Right Is I can do one more, and so the tougher it gets, the harder it gets, the narrower you have to be. We want to use the word present, but just taking yourself out of the context of the mind and getting yourself in that situation, she can go. What do I need to do to win the next minute? Right?

16:11 - Caitlin (Host)

What do you think like? How does this show up as like a trap of the mind? You know how like the mind can be so convincing, the stories are so good. Like when somebody is kind of at that point where they might be feeling like they're ready to toss in the towel, but they need to like muster up that strength to sit there longer, Like what is, yeah, what is the trap that they can start to see through and be like oh, this is just my mind and talking.

16:37 - Adam (Host)

Well, I think, if you're, if you're, if you're listening to this and you're, and you start becoming more aware, which, again, to me, the most important part of any personal growth or spirituality is being aware, because being aware is you recognize the mind trying to derail you. That's why that definition of self masteries, overcoming that voice inside your head that says no, because that's really what it's doing, or it creates the story that you start buying into. One of the ways that you can do it you won't know when you're caught is that when you're, when you're caught, listening to the mind, you're not you're. That's when people would say you're unconscious, right Like, or you're not aware anymore, or you're not the present moment, cause the only thing you're doing now is thinking of your, your, you. You who's in there is paying all attention to the mind, and the mind is telling you how bad this is, how terrible it is. And, by the way, caitlin, if you just left and threw in the towel or went over here, it'd be so much better. And then, instantly, if you buy into that, that's when you start going.

17:31

It would, cause what you do at that point is you go, it's so hard over here, and you create a mental movie about what it would be like to not have to deal with this current issue, and you and you start having a better feeling from that. And so then, all of a sudden, you become a slave to your feelings, you become a slave to your mind, and that's essentially what people are doing their entire life right. You become the disciplined ones, the ones have self mastery, are no longer slave to your moods and your passions or what the mind is saying Other than that. You are. You're literally.

18:01

If you don't, if you want to think of it that way, you are literally. You've become. You have a job now to support the mind and everything it wants you to do, and the mind will always do anything it can to get you to pay attention to it. So now it's you've. You've signed up for the worst job ever, which is to try to make the mind happy, which is never going to be happy. That's why it's. That's why you need positive affirmation, because most of the time it's negative. I mean very few times is the mind actual positive, and when it's positive, it's telling you a story about how wonderful it would be to get you to pay attention to it, and it's trying to get you out of the current moment.

18:36

Now, why does this all happen? You know it's again the experiences that we've had in our life. We store in, the ones that we really like, we keep close to us, and the mind just grabs that data and says, hey, last time you didn't have to deal with this problem, you felt better. So I'm going to tell you it's not even its fault, right, it's just you get so. We get so caught up in that.

18:55

So there's so many times in leadership where the mind is going to tell you to stop and it's good. And really what it's going to keep telling you is that, like, if you stop, you're going to feel better. This is why you do the inner work, right To go. Okay, maybe for a moment I'll feel better, but I know long term this is not going to permanently give me the joy which is what we always talk about. And it's the same thing in physicality, like doing this PR this morning. Sure, if I would have stopped, I would have instantly felt better for 30 seconds and then I felt, oh, it felt worse. I would have felt worse, not accomplished my goal.

19:24

And again, that's a whole other thing. If you choose to stop doing something, you don't beat yourself up for it either. That's the, that's now. Your mind is saying now you can't finish this. See what you did. So you it's. That's my point. It's like when do you stop listening to it? Because if you stopped and did it what it wants a minute later you know, everyone knows this the mind would then jump into it. The mind would then jump in and be like you never finished anything.

19:45 - Caitlin (Host)

Yeah, what's wrong with you?

19:46 - Adam (Host)

Right and then. So now, all of a sudden, you're going. You never win, so you never really win, taking your job, as you know, fulfilling the toddler of the mind which is just it's. It's completely selfish and wants all of your attention, and it'll change its direction every single moment.

20:04 - Caitlin (Host)

That is really helpful to think about. Like it's almost sounds like when your mind's building up like almost an escape fantasy, like, oh, if I just went and did this, something that would be so great. But then I think you know most people at a certain level in their career whatnot have had the experience of like, oh, I did go try something else and that actually did not make me any happier whatsoever. And so you start to have the experience of like, oh, that, that vision you know that I'm casting over here because it's just feel it's. I mean, it's not a vision, it's more just like a escape fantasy, but it's not going to ultimately do the trick. And, to your point actually staying, if I quit here, I'm not going to feel negative too, so why not? It's like the two almost balance it out and create some clarity, cause then you're just kind of able to look at, okay, what's here in front of me, rather than entertaining ideas of the future about which one will make you happier.

21:01 - Adam (Host)

Yeah, that's why it's just important, when you're clear, to figure out what's important to you Like, again, pushing up and finishing this physicality or staying focused on my leadership roles to push through all of this. If your intent is there, you'll find a way to do it, and that's why you have to. You have to get clear and then just be really clear. That's why goals come in the play here, because then the goal, if your goal, is to you know, I've never ran a marathon before a half marathon I'm going to go out and run one. Okay, great, it's going to require physicality, but it's going to require more mental than anything. Right, it's going to require a mental battle more than anything. And so you get clear on that.

21:34

It's like you just stop paying attention to the mind and then it gives you the ability to realize I don't have to listen to this, I actually don't have to buy into that story that it's telling me, and therefore I can actually overcome it. That's why self mastery is overcoming the fact that the mind is always going to try to derail you, no matter what you're doing. That's why we, you know, no matter what it is that you choose to do, it'll pick a different side Because it wants, because, remember, if you're choosing to not go with it, it's losing its energy. So then it'll then jump in and like, oh okay, you're right, I'm going to go with you. And then it tries to grab you for a second and then move you to somewhere else.

22:11

But this is what happens with you know, with people in leadership, all the time is like, oh, this gets really difficult, this gets too hard, and it's they're listening to a story that the mind is telling them of how hard it is. One thing you can always do, you can always ask yourself a question, which is if the story did not exist, would I not be liking what I'm doing right now? And the reality is it's a powerful way to ask yourself, if this story did not exist, that I have to deal with this right now. What I, what I really generally dislike what I'm doing, yeah.

22:42

And the answer for most people is no. If there is no story, there is no dislike, no resistance. That's why, when it says, need nothing, enjoy everything, it's the same concept. It's just that's almost like too woofy, right, like it's too like need nothing. How am I going to need nothing, right? Well, it's the same concept. If there is no story about whether you like it or dislike it, then there is no I like it or dislike it, and that's the whole.

23:07

That's the deeper part of that conversation, which is I don't really need anything. And people are like how do you not need anything? Well, if you truly don't need anything, it doesn't mean you don't enjoy things, it doesn't mean you don't have fun with things, it just means there's not a story telling you that you need it. And that's why, when people, when you, when you say that like, oh, you don't need anything or just enjoy the moment, the mind instantly jumps in and says I couldn't enjoy the moment if I didn't have this. But people don't realize that and they go well, how could I ever do that? Well, you just listen to your mind tell you why you couldn't enjoy that, which is why you can't understand the concept, because the mind literally just jumped in and said how could you not want something, or how could you not have be attached to a goal? Now again that you instantly went and heard that and now you attached yourself again to the mind yeah, okay.

23:54 - Caitlin (Host)

So for somebody who realizes they are listening to the story and they're noticing that within themselves or what it, or someone who's maybe not even 100% sure, but like, oh, this kind of rings true, Like what is the next step to actually be able to recognize that it's a story? Like how, yeah Well, there'll be moments of awareness.

24:13 - Adam (Host)

So when you're caught you're not going to recognize it right and the minute you get out you have to go. I was caught again.

24:20 - Caitlin (Host)

That's okay, I was caught again.

24:22 - Adam (Host)

How can I, how can I be aware? And there's, there's, there's things you can do to set up to help you. Along with this Number one, I think, being proactive on all this stuff, right, which is some sort of journaling, some sort of exercising every day. It could be walking, it could be pushups, whatever it is. You just you're pushing through the mind, right. You're winning, you're taking a victory over the mind every morning and you're doing some form of meditation. Remember, the whole point of meditation is not to get to some enlightened experience that you have while meditation and then when you come out of it, you're no longer in it, so you can tell people about it. That's not the form of meditation.

24:53

Meditation is to recognize oh my gosh, how wild is this mind. Every day it's a reminder of going. I can't meditate. Why? Because I have so many thoughts Perfect. You recognize that right there. You're aware, who's aware, you, that you have all these thoughts Perfect. That's your meditation. So now you bring that in and go. I'm not going to listen to all my thoughts, because they just change every moment and there's just tons of them every single second.

25:17

And then there's other things you can do is especially in business, which is, if you, every time I used to get out of my truck to come into the office, I would remind myself okay, I'm not here to get anything from anybody, I'm here to contribute. And I'm also here to be aware. I'm here to raise the moment and I hear the mind starting to creep in and wanting to telling me a story about what needs to happen today. And that's not it, because it's that's not. That's not the goals that I've said, that's the mind setting its own goals and its own story. And you can do that. Every time you look at your phone. You should be a reminder, be like am I caught? Am I caught? So that's a great one right now, because people have their cell phones. Every time you look at your cell phone, she just a little instant thought should jump in there, not a story around the thought should just jump in and go are you caught? And if? And what you'll find is you are caught every time and you're caught every time. And so then you go. Man, I was glued again to my thoughts. But just that moment. Now you're out of it, now you have clarity, now you handle the moment you're caught. Again. You go to your phone and my caught and you just can't repeat this process.

26:21

Obviously, you won't be caught as fast or as quick, which is why the the the relax to release the deeper work that you do. You be able to push through this. You gain moments, you gain longer durations of you no longer being caught, and if people understand what that means. Caught is just you're now listening to the mind tell you a story about life. It's you no longer living life, you're living mind, because that's what you're doing. So when you're caught, just understand the easy to remember. You don't have to be a psychologist. All that means is you're paying attention to the voice inside your head telling you a story about life which isn't even true because it's it's just made it up and you just really did, and so that's what it's doing. So when you're caught, you're just found.

27:04

You found out that you were listening to a story about why you didn't like it or why you shouldn't like it or why it shouldn't be this way. It's usually what it is right. It's usually like I'm not getting what I want, so there's a story about why you should be right or that, if you are getting what you want, there's a. There's a story about how do I keep it, how do I maintain this? And you know how do I keep pushing forward, how do I get better at this? Whatever it is, there's always a story, and so you just recognize the story is always going to be there. At least that's what I've become to realize is that all the work that you're doing it's not about getting that to quiet down, it's just getting it so it doesn't grab you. It's like there's always going to be cars outside right. They're always going to be driving. If you just don't let them bother you, you won't notice them. There's always cars, though, just like the mind's always going to be talking, it's always going to be doing its thing and it doesn't have to ever grab you anymore. And so if it's not grabbing you anymore, you're no longer caught. Now you're living life right, because, remember, the only time is essentially an illusion, right it's.

28:03

I heard this described one time as a time is a criminal that leaves a bunch of evidence but you can never catch, and it was a fascinating way to kind of think about it. It's like oh, it left an apple on its windowsill. You can see that there. Time is the same way with you, like you can look in the mirror and you can see different reflection. But remember, if you are thinking about the past or thinking about the future, you're in everything about the time of those two things. That's living mind. You're now in thought, if you're. There's no way to actually think about something if you're in the present moment. So time is never really caught because the only way time can actually be looked at or viewed is in the present I'm sorry, in the past or the future, right? So in the present moment you're not thinking about a thought, you're just actually living. Thought.

28:52

As an example of this when you are skiing or giving a speech, or maybe you're in a fight with your you know, your spouse or a friend or whatever it is, or you're about to get into a car accident or something heightens, coming up and the stories drop right instantly. There's no longer, like I always think, like for people, like giving a presentation a lot of times if you're, if you're doing it, or even like in a podcast, there really isn't a story happening if you're engaged in that, now there can be a different one. That's like where you start to screw up or going am I doing good? Am I not doing good? People like what I'm saying, should not have said that. Right, you can buy into that story, but in these events I always think of skiing, like if you're skiing through the woods, the minute you're in that, in the wood section, the stories drop.

29:34

You're not thinking about what, what the weather is going to be like or what you should be doing for work. You're in the moment and therefore you're actually living time, and so there is no evidence of time because you're living the time. There's only evidence when you get out of time, and so that's why it's like a criminal that can never be caught, and that's how we should. We should think of time, and so, anyways, it's the same thing about how, with our, with our stories or telling ourselves, if we're listening to a story, we're no longer living the present moment. We're not living life.

30:03

You're living mind, because you're paying so much attention to the mind that life's just passing us by, and so that's why we're trying to get people out of which is, you know, no longer living mind in the past or the future, which is what the mind does when it talks it's creating a story about what happened to you in the past and why did that happen, or it's creating some future scenario of what you're going to do to this person, or what do you need to do in order to feel good, or what do you need to accomplish in order to do that? And so you just caught up in all of this and then you wonder why you feel the way you do, because you're you're no longer in the moment actually experiencing what you're supposed to be experiencing.

30:44 - Caitlin (Host)

I was thinking about this concept the other day and I kind of reminded me of like you're standing in the middle of Times Square and there's the news ticker that goes across and you're just like standing there glued to the news ticker and meanwhile, like all this life is happening around. Outside there's smell, sounds like people like, but you just are so focused on the news ticker, that's it, and that's sometimes what it feels like when I'm listening to the stories. That's exactly right, yeah.

31:12 - Adam (Host)

It's no different than like when you go turn on a great show on TV and you're really enjoying your show and all your senses are in it. Especially in movie theater you don't even remember there's people around you. I always like, if you ever go to like a matinee I just remember this, I shared this before in the podcast, but it's been a while since I've been a matinee, but I remember it was like pure sun out right and I was in this movie theater. It's dark. All your senses are in there for the most part, except for taste and smell. There is even smell.

31:38

There's a, there's a scent, because you're probably eating something, but you're so engaged in the movie you forget there's 400 people in the movie and you forget that it's even light outside and also you open the door and also this brain. You're like, yeah, what's going on out here? I always kind of I always took that. I was like that's, like, that's, that's what it is. You're so ingrained to the movie that you don't even realize this light out, you don't even realize there's 400 people out there and think about so. You're doing that every day of your life. What are you missing?

32:02 - Caitlin (Host)

Yeah, right, exactly, yeah, a lot. So a question would be is there? How do you like get to the point where you know like, okay, I've looked through the stories, I realize those aren't real, but I'm still feeling this pull to change, to do something different. Maybe it's quit, maybe it's pivot, I don't know. But how do you get to the point where you know that you're no longer listening to mind, but you're actually responding from a place of deeper clarity?

32:31 - Adam (Host)

Well, the minute you're no longer listening to mind, things will show up, clues will be in front of you, things will be asked, right, like, all of a sudden, it'll, just it'll. You'll find yourself going, huh, I wonder if I should look at this job right, like, it's, just like all like life. I wouldn't even say it supports you that way, I don't, because I don't like to think personal. I just don't think of it that way. It's just, all of a sudden, like you, just, you just find yourself like getting an email and all of a sudden, the next thing you know, like, somebody else mentioned that company to you. Right, so it's like, that's how it happens. It's not like this formulated story that comes up the next thing. Or you happen to be riding up skiing next to the CEO of a company and you kick it off and all of a sudden they're emailing you right, like, and you, and next thing you know, you're on an interview and you're just like, wow, I'm here. Like that's, that's wow, like it's. So it's just everything else happens on its own in life, right, your heart beats, your pancreas secretes, your, your eyes take in the senses that are happening every moment. You can move your hands and your arms. You don't even do anything about that. It's the same exact way. No-transcript in that moment, right. But before that it doesn't mean that, like there's nothing wrong in improving your life, right, you're just not longer improving your life, thinking I'm gonna permanently be better, unless there is a dramatic situation that you know again that you can put that disclaimer in there, that if there's a situation that's harmful or something like that, that's different, like you move away from that. But for the normal everyday conversations of like, oh, this is a drag, I don't think I'm not really inspired by this or this is so difficult right now it's going okay, let me get myself first, okay, and then show up that way to work or show up that way to my family, and then let's see what happens. But because, if you take that and just if you think, by switching something over here, that you're gonna be permanently better, that's where you're gone. Because what will happen is you'll go over there and you will feel better. You'll feel better for a month, a day, maybe six months, but then all of a sudden you'll go back to the same exact patterns.

34:27

I just actually saw this with one of my employees. We've had for a while that he's, this individual has been challenged many times and has you know, it's like, oh, it's overwhelming, it's very stressful, it's over this, and so we've moved them around to different positions, thinking that it helpful and that's what they wanted. And they're like, oh, that will take care of everything, I won't have to worry about this anymore. And then, two weeks, literally, I got a call last night, two weeks into the new move, same conversation. So it's like that's. And, by the way, a week before that, this was the best. Thank you so much. This is exactly what I was looking for. A week later, nothing's changed, just the person, and it went back to being who they were. The mind jumped in and started having that conversation, and then they instantly went back to their roles.

35:11 - Caitlin (Host)

It's such a humbling moment when you realize that about yourself, when you make a change and then realize like, oh wait, here I am still.

35:18 - Adam (Host)

Yes, that's exactly right.

35:19 - Caitlin (Host)

The outer circumstances are different, but the inner circumstances are exactly the same.

35:23 - Adam (Host)

And you can be in paradise, right, whatever paradise means to you. But if your interstate's not good, it doesn't matter, and you can be anywhere. If your interstate's good, it's awesome, cause that's that's ultimately. You know, the biggest realization I've probably had this year is just again as I think about my own growth is it doesn't matter whatever your outsides I know I've said that before, but, like the outside circumstances, if you're feeling tons of energy inside, it doesn't matter. It really. Sure, like you help it and you do whatever you can. But the only thing your people are ever after is that, that wonderful juice, that energy, that flow that's inside and it's so wonderful and it's so beautiful. And when it's there, it doesn't even like. You can be in any house, right. You can be in a city, or you can be in the middle of the woods, right, like it doesn't, almost doesn't matter, because you're still like I feel great inside. Well, look at, the biggest building is I can't even see the sun anymore, right, like whatever. Or you're like oh look, I'm in nature and this is so great too as well. And it's not like a like you're walking around a loof. You're actually clear, you have clarity, you're just enjoying wherever you are and that's the, that's the. The. The piece that business owners or individuals and leaders miss out on is enjoy exactly where you are. Okay.

36:40

So this is a challenging moment Awesome. Are you going to make it? I don't know, but you know what I can enjoy the fact that I don't know, and I can put my whole health into it. And the best odds of us making it is you actually taking that attitude and then you go and serve in. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Right, if you're in a relationship that's struggling, right In your personal life, are you going to make it? I don't know. Like you can't, the mind came and go. Oh, we're definitely going to make this work, cause now, if you buy into that now you're cause. You don't know if you will. You don't know what the other person's doing either. You don't. They may want to leave, they may not figure this out. So what you do is you just say I don't know if we're going to make this work. It's almost like you let go of the outcome with that and then you go. But what I can do is do my best in the moment that I'm with this individual and let's see what happens.

37:24 - Caitlin (Host)

And then it's amazing that the actual chances of success are really higher, don't go much higher. That's exactly right. So, to wrap up for today, what would you say our inner takeaways are from today and what are the outer takeaways that people can take from the show today?

37:39 - Adam (Host)

Yeah, I'm thinking about it. The inner takeaways are what's your, what's your awareness and what can you set up? I'd say that's being an outer one, I guess, but the inner, the inner kind of, is like where's your awareness that the mind is grabbing you, and what story I mean let me just actually simplify this what story are you buying into right now that you can drop? That would be the inner takeaways. What story that you are listening to this and you get to the end of this that you can drop right now, that you can drop, and just it doesn't mean it won't come back, just means that you're no longer going to pay attention to it. That's the inner.

38:19

And the outer is set up the phone right, meaning that, like every time you look at the phone, just ask yourself am I caught? Am I caught? Cause that's something you can do physically, you can. Everyone looks at their phone. It would, ever at every time, just remember am I caught? And then just use that as a oh man, he's right, caught right, and just go. Okay, great, I was caught. See how long you can go. And those are the two things. That's me.