Welcome back to Chainsaw History’s limited series, "No Time For Love Doctor Jones,” where Jamie Chambers guides his unconvinced sister Bambi through the thrilling and controversial life of Indiana Jones. This time they travel to Florence, Italy in The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles Episode 25: "Florence, May 1908."

In this installment Indy’s Mom steps out on her husband Professor Jones with legendary opera composer Giacomo Puccini. The podcasting siblings discuss the cringe-inducing story of opera, doomed romance, and a one-eyed old man hustling pool in a dive bar at noon. Watch the episode and follow along with the hosts and see the incredible shots of the Tuscan countryside and hear music from Madame Butterfly and La Boheme.

Get ready for romance, tears, and laughter as we dive into the ups and downs of cinema's most iconic archaeologist and whip-cracking hero!

Hey, Dr. Joe! No time for love! We've got company!

Hey, Dr. Joe! No time for love! We've got company!

Hey. Hey, Bambi.

Hey?

You wanna know something?

Okay...

I'm famous for grabbing priceless relics and items of important historical significance.

But that's not how I pay the bills.

I gotta come clean. Truth is, I'm a pool shark. A hustler.

Watch me fleece this biker who totally isn't going to break my brittle bones.

For $100.

So welcome, everyone, to No Time for Love, Dr. Jones,

where we follow the fictional adventures of Dr. Henry Walton Jones Jr.

as he bounces off real-world history and important figures.

I am your host, Jamie Chambers, and this is my sister, Bambi.

Hello!

If you're listening to our voices now,

you are one of our beloved $5 or more subscribers on chainsawhistory.com.

Thank you.

You make us feel like a lusty Italian opera composer,

making us feel what it is to be alive.

I have nothing for that.

I've been listening to a lot of, like, Italians over the last, like, 48 hours.

I'm sure you have.

And I've been to Italy.

I know!

So what we're going to talk about today really hit me in the feels.

In the feelings.

Okay.

Maybe not the way the episode wanted to, but...

So for anyone who wants to follow along with us on our little adventures

of the life of Indiana Jones, you can find them on YouTube.

There's a channel called Young Indie Restored,

at least until the Walt Disney Corporation finds out about it,

even though they don't seem to care enough about Young Indiana Jones,

because once again, it's not on Disney Plus.

It's like you have to pay money and work at it if you even want to see this shit.

Yeah, well, they're trying to actually, you know, bury it,

because it's kind of terrible.

Yeah, I saw there was...

Apparently, there was literally in development,

like following this new Indiana Jones movie that's coming out this year,

they were going to do a TV series where they were going to recast Indiana Jones

and just do a TV show adventures, which personally I have no problem with,

but I think they got so spooked by how horrible Solo did for Star Wars at the box office

that the idea of recasting Harrison Ford ever again is the Walt Disney Corporation's like,

no.

And Harrison Ford himself has gone on record as saying he thinks that with him being done,

they just need to hang up Indy's hat now and just let it be done.

But I don't know.

Like I said, we're already talking about all these.

We have many Indiana's Jones already,

and we're going to be getting into one of them again today.

Your favorite.

Oh, he is so not my favorite.

Although I, at least in this episode, I had a lot of sympathy for Indy.

Yeah, he's just a kid, for Christ's sake.

This one's not an adventure.

This one's not.

Yeah, this was a whole different thing.

Today's episode is titled Florence, May 1908.

Also known as your mom's a hoe, bro.

It's not really an Indiana Jones who has an adventure this week.

The adventure is had by Mrs. Anna Jones.

Oh, yeah, we didn't even know she had a first name until this episode.

Actually, she gets a whole lot.

She gets her to enjoy herself some Italian sausage this episode.

Yeah, well, you know, she's married to an abuser.

Due to a stiff, terrifying, wound up Scotsman.

Oh, God.

Yeah, the fiery Italian man.

So we're going to get to him.

OK, so it's sometime after our fun with child slavery in Morocco

because it was like I said, the timeline of when these

when they originally intended these to take place

and then when they like put them out don't match up.

So like it's all it's kind of bouncing all over the place.

So let's just not think too hard about how he how fast they got from Morocco to Italy

and then they're going to reference going to Paris at the end of this.

But that's also not what happens next.

So just just just don't worry about it.

So now the Jones family is going to Italy.

Dr. Jones senior is giving a boring lecture in Rome

and the rest of the family wisely decides to stay in Florence,

which happens to be Jamie Chambers favorite city on planet Earth.

I have been there three times for I could explore Florence for months

and holy shit in this episode, the photography is gorgeous

and it really takes advantage of how beautiful Tuscany is

and how gorgeous Florence is.

They go to Pisa for a little bit.

Yeah, the cinematography in this one was also very, very good.

The best thing possible probably about this show,

especially sorry kid, but for the young days.

So yeah, it's been 15 years since I've been back to Florence

and I really, really miss it, especially after watching this.

This whole thing gave me just this absolute just deep nostalgia

and longing to go back to Italy.

So probably worth noting that while it's only our third episode

in the chronological Adventures of Indiana Jones.

This was the very last episode shot with Cory Carrier playing little Henry.

So this was it for him.

This was in his little free trip to Florence was his last stint

and yeah, he only did seven episodes in total.

So we're already like almost halfway through his run.

So we don't have to suffer through these episodes much longer.

Like I said, at least in this one, he seemed like a normal kid.

Yeah.

Of all of the episodes so far, this is the one where...

It didn't ask too much of him as an actor.

And so yeah, he only did seven and apparently they had another seven episodes

like the stories planned and broken out and everything,

but those were completely scrapped.

I did check Cory Carrier is now 42 years old and I found him on Twitter.

He stopped acting after playing this part.

So I think this is basically it.

This episode represents the end of his film and television career

and he was like, I guess around 13 when he actually shot this

and maybe a little bit younger.

I know he did voiceover.

He did some voiceovers and reshoots for the DVDs,

but so I guess that's not true.

But basically this was he stopped after being young Indiana Jones

and this was the last full episode he shot.

So anyway, so Cory on his social media account,

he is really into basketball.

He is also related to that.

He's a fellow podcaster.

He's apparently part of like a basketball podcast.

Okay, there you go good for you to shout out to Cory.

We give you shit.

We talk crap, but I'll seriousness like,

you know, nothing but respect.

I mean, yeah, he was a kid actor.

Yeah, he got paid to go hang out in awesome places

and really gets to be part of the history of Indiana Jones.

So so and as long as nothing terrible happened to him,

you know during his time acting which apparently that's a problem.

Sometimes sometimes don't but don't know anything about this guy

other than that brief little little tidbit.

So, huh?

Cool.

Good for you, buddy.

Hope you're yeah.

Hope your time was was well spent and not horrific.

And it's also weird that he's like just a few years younger than us.

Yeah.

No, he's like older than our baby sister.

Other than my wife.

All right.

Lots of people are older than your wife.

In this section we talk about the plot and major story points of the episode such as they are so we begin in a random dive bar in the 1990s.

Yeah, it was the most random thing jarring and apparently old Indiana Jones likes to go for her,

you know drinking at noon and hustling because she's hanging there.

He's just hanging out there and you see this like Amazon biker.

Mama is shooting pool and being good at it.

Yeah.

Yeah, she beat some random asshole and you can tell I get looks like her and her boyfriend.

He's like this is just big hairy dumb guy.

They're hustling people at the bar and in the Indies just over there drinking and so he's like any more takers you all afraid take on a woman.

It was very cringy you old old scene was so cringy

and when you juxtapose it to the actual like main episode, it just doesn't go at all during none of it makes any sense.

It's so funny.

So it's like you old timer.

How about you and he suggests a hundred dollar bet just right off the bat didn't even try to work him up to it and old Indies like all about it.

He's like, okay steep, but a challenge so they rack up for a game of nine ball and then Indy performs a damn near like perfect break

and sinks a few balls.

Yeah, and then he runs the table.

Yeah, and in the meantime, he's he starts telling this this young woman a story.

Yeah.

Yeah, the biker mama ass.

And yeah, and he she asks and he starts telling never give old Indian excuse because all she asked was literally,

how did you make can you show me how to do that shot was kind of what she was really going for and instead she literally what she gets is that

comes from a thorough understanding of physics, which of course is all the excuse and he needs to begin a long-winded story about the time.

His father was on a world lecture tour and brought his family to Florence.

Yeah, and this is when that's where the story turns.

So it's like so we're starting with pool hustling in a dive bar and then we talking about physics and then we're going to talk about the story that we're about to get into.

So what the fuck any of these things have to do with each other these writers.

I hope the drugs were excellent writers.

They had to have been because we just go like this is non sequitur shit.

So we're going to go to a very different kind of story.

So so as he goes he he talks about his dad's on the lecture tour.

They go to Florence is a city where everyone was in love with someone or maybe just in love with love extra creepy.

The architecture was breathtaking built to honor man and God.

Yeah, that's what he said and he's not wrong.

Like the in the as a it dissolves over several shots of just like priceless artwork and sculpture and just the beauty of the buildings.

I mean, like I said Florence you cannot just you walk in any random patch of that city and is just something that will take your breath away and they get some really good shots in this show.

I'm incredibly biased.

So like I've been to many of the places that were featured in this episode.

Like I've wandered the streets of Florence.

I've been to Pisa.

And yeah, I really want to like I should have been drinking a bottle of Chianti.

I want to go I really must I will eventually I haven't done nearly as on my it's on my list.

I haven't done nearly as much travel international travels.

I would like to do but I have been to Italy several times.

So old Indies monologue about the beauty of Italian art just kind of keeps on going for a minute until we see a statue that I don't recognize but it shows an angel holding a like a woman who's like collapsing backwards

and the angels cupping her breast.

Yep, and then it pans down to a little indie being quite interested in this image.

He's like some consider me an angel when he sees a lot of naked artwork for the probably for the first time in his life because he's raised by these two prudes like his mother never shows even much of her neck like like she wears these high collared shit and she wears these hats like well that was period appropriate fashion and for especially for you know,

a woman, you know, married woman married woman American middle class theoretically, but like I said, it's like they're way up or middle class like said you think of that and then you think that they that in that little Henry's first international trip was to all these like very repressive Middle Eastern type places where there's not a lot of female flesh on display then suddenly he's just looking at titties everywhere little Henry's getting titties titties in the paintings titties in the statues.

Yeah, well, and then all the other shit that's going on.

Yes. And now we're gonna get to that. So Henry's quite impressed. And he goes, but the most passionate love of all was the opera. And there we get to what we're going to be getting into. So we see the Jones family going up the stairs of the opera house and a rich old Italian lady. Well, actually the ritual Italian host, he's saying that they must stay as the Jones family must stay as guests at their mansion.

And she was like, No, I want my own space. And

they're like, Lady wouldn't insist.

Yeah, they were like, we will not take no for an answer. And there's a lot of that in this episode. So so much of that, even though I will say, having spent a lot of time with Italians, that is not inaccurate. They are very, they're very emotional. And they're very sort of pushy with their emotions and what they want. But that is done with with love and generosity. You just had to kind of get used to this. Boundaries don't exist so much for Italians.

Like the way they do for Americans, especially. They're just some key cultural differences.

Yeah, well, and I mean, especially in this time period.

I don't see it having changed much having

Yeah, but at least people have changed. Society has changed. This little button up bitch had no fucking idea.

So yeah, so she's the so the old lady, you know, teaches Henry to say, my first opera in Italian, let me appear in my opera. And then we cut to box seats where the Joneses and Miss Seymour are watching labo in. And so we're watching sort of reaction shots to the music. And by the way,

But not only lots of scenes of the opera themselves, but most of the score of this episode is actually from Puccini operas. Like there's very little original score, they just kind of pull in and kind of remix some of Puccini's greatest hits to be the background of this whole story.

So, so we're seeing all these reaction shots, the music and you see Anna, Mrs. Jones, and she's like deeply moved like to tear she holds her husband's hand and is feeling super romantic. You know, as things are going on. And we see Dr. Jones looks completely like stone face. He's got a yeah, he literally gives no fuck Mount Rushmore look in his face. Like, oh, yeah, she on the opera, and he like handed her a tissue or a handkerchief or whatever.

And was like me wipe away your lady tears. And then you see a little Henry closes his eyes slowly. And I'm honestly not sure whether the the show is trying to tell us he was like, like his mother, or he's just like falling asleep because he's bored. Because he's a hyperactive little ADHD kid. And now fucking opera.

It could have been a little bit of a little bit of column B, he's enjoying the music, but he's also lulled. I think they're trying to tell us that he was deeply moved. But he didn't come across that way.

He was on Prozac. And then we see the conductor who's this swarthy mustachioed Italian with big expressive dark eyes. And by the way, spoiler alert, that's Puccini. That is our historical figure of the day. And I will say they got a guy who looks quite a bit like the photographs of Puccini.

Okay.

Looked like the dude and probably, you know, probably acted quite a bit like the dude to at least in terms of like how Puccini is known. So so Henry asks this leaks weeks leading question while they're in the middle of the operators. Mother, do people really fall in love that quick? And what is your reaction to that question?

Yeah. Ish. Ish.

Henry is correctly told to shut the fuck up.

And yeah, when a theater performance is going on. The music and the singing swell and we see the conductor is just as swept up in the emotion as the audience. Anna Jones cries at the tragic death of Mimi on stage at the end of La Boheme. The theater erupts in applause and the handsome conductor takes a bow.

So backstage, the rich Italian lady is trying to talk the conductor into going out to party with them. He's got like a cold rag over his eyes like, No, I am too tired. And he like, the weird part of this part there is like there are two Italians speaking to each other in Italy.

But they're speaking in English with thick Italian accents instead, which they don't do through the rest of the episode. Like there's plenty of times they speak in Italian. But it's awkwardly written in this scene like he has his eyes covered. Why would he even know to speak English? No, anyway, it's stupid. It's it's called bad writing. But the

But yeah, he slowly he takes the cloth off his eyes and then he sees Mrs.

And then all of a sudden he is super up to party.

That was terrible. You should be ashamed.

I'm ashamed for all of this. Yeah, so the old lady is like, Your excuse is unacceptable maestro. Allow me to introduce Mrs. Anna Jones of New Jersey, America. And that's when when he said he had this moment and literally all his vision is just filled with this this lovely blonde lovely face completely draped head to toe and cloth.

And you know, it's like, you know, to their credit, like they didn't cast like a supermodel beautiful woman to be in a Joan. She's pretty. She's very pretty. And she's very sort of soft woman is soft is the perfect word for her voice is softer everything about her. Yeah, she's like a flower petal.

And it's like you think of that and then you think of this stuffy academic and real and then realize that these are the parents of one of the most grizzled hard ass people ever to hit the screen. It's so weird.

Um, so yes, but you can see I mean, at least in that frame. You can see where he know he opens up beautiful he sees Mrs. Anna Jones and sparrowing. He is no longer tired. You could call Mr. Puccini horned up.

Yeah, he was he was down after that he was like, Oh, we want to go out and drink and smoke and cavort with a nine year old. Let us do these. Yeah, he had no fucking problems. Like being right around little little Henry Jones, they go out to they go out to some bar where it looks like a lot of the performers are drinking and

they're all hanging out and drinking a bunch of Chianti. And, you know, probably two o'clock in the morning and Henry asked the dude who's been checking out his mom all night. He's like, Did you write that opera? Yes. This, of course, is Giacomo Puccini. And Henry's like, Yeah, your your opera made my mom cry. And

yeah, he took a little Henry and he was like, You're my wingman. Now, dude, like, you're gonna help me. So I want to tap on and tap your mom. So wrong. So we get a long shot of Anna Jones, like staring at the Italian musician. And she might as well have been like biting her lip and crossing and uncrossing her legs. Like both these who were so horny. Yeah, except she was very horny episode. To her credit, though, she was trying to get her husband to be horny for and he was not happy.

No, he gave no fucks. No, he is a fucking just stiff ass board. So yes, she confesses that even at the party. Yeah, he was I think, yeah. Oh, yeah, he did. He had a stand sitting round straight and sip. That's right. Because he came over and threw his arm around him. Because he was approaching was like buttering up the whole family. And like, I shall take care of your wife for you while you're gone. Hey, yeah.

But to get to that, so yeah, she confesses that the music did indeed make her cry. And Puccini says and you understand great love. So little Henry helpfully explains to the horny composer that they're gonna be in Florence for the whole week while his dad is totally gone. Giving his dad's giving another boring lecture in Rome. That is a wise choice. Puccini declares. He's like an idiot the whole time he is pouring everybody just massive glasses of Chianti what he like even when they have

to object. But once again, Italians do not give a shit about your objections, your personal boundaries. And he's like, Nope, I'm getting everybody drunk tonight. Yes. So he's like, that is a wise choice. Florence breeze arts and culture. Rome sweats trying to keep up, which is another very Italian thing to do, which is to shit on the other neighboring Italian cities. Okay. Like, for example, like Puccini even mentions in the sub, so he's from the town of Luca, which is the Italian town I spent the most time in in my life. And, and I thought about you and you

they said that the people of Luca, the people of Luca talk more shit about the people from Pisa, which is 20 miles away, more than anything else in the world is so funny that like, there's certain like Italian things. So like Puccini getting a dig on Rome is very on brand. And I've been to both Rome and, and Florence and I agree with him. Fuck Rome in comparison, like, you should go but if you have to choose Florence is so much better. And Anna is just staring at Puccini

is like, he's a very spicy meatball. But then she looks at her husband. Please, please show some personality or anything. Please love me. So Henry explains, he'll be spending his week learning the laws of physics, which is supposed to explain why in 84 years, he associates playing pool with this trip to Italy where his mother got her groove back. It's really rough. So Puccini works on getting Miss Seymour drunk and suggestible too. So he like pours

her more wine. He goes Miss Seymour in Italy, too much is barely enough. You're in my country. You must let me show you the way. So he insists on escorting the family to Pisa the next day so that Henry can perform physics experiments.

Oh, yeah, he's like, I'll take care of your wife for you while you're gone.

Yes, he specifically says, because I wrote this down the exact quote, Professor Jones, I'm offering my services to your family. I'm the happy owner of a touring motor motor car. I would gladly show them to Pisa tomorrow, a guided tour.

Okay, and again, he seemed to up and up except for you know, he's not his intentions are not not even a little bit. So he's literally got his arm around this dude. He's like, I'm going to fuck your wife, and hopefully steal her away from you and your son because I'm a great man. And so he says that he's not busy tomorrow because he's searching for inspiration for his next opera.

This is such a weird episode. I just it. I can't express that enough. How fucking weird this.

And this is this is like this is maybe our one time where we're, we're Indies mom is the main character. She's truly she's she's the main character of this story.

Although I did find it funny that this in this episode, they had more fun as a family. Because Yeah, because Dr. Jones was not there.

Everyone seemed to be having a super grand timing. Because they're like, that's not here.

We have to worry about him beating us tonight. Um, so yeah, back

The whole mood of this episode is so much lighter than the other.

Yeah. So back at the rich Italian mansion, Miss Seymour is ruthlessly attending to Henry's physics lessons, ordering him to write down everything she says and repeat it. And you see Anna literally because they're setting up they've got this whole like, suite with its own sitting room and everything in the mansion. And so she literally like puts a picture of her and her husband up and caresses it lovingly, like as if she's trying to remind herself that

I'm a married woman. I shouldn't be masturbating to fantasies about an Italian's mustache tickling my thighs. Oh, that's so wrong. And she's feeling a little guilty. So she's like, yes, I am married, married, married.

Stop, please stop. I will do anything if you stop. So gross.

Anna gets her husband out the door. He's like running late for his cab and she presses a flower into his book is let's get she's so fucking sweet.

She is this woman's just a soft little flower petal of a creature. She just wants to be loved. Poor thing.

They kiss goodbye. And then Dr. Jones, Jr. Take good care of your mother. And and he doesn't say it, but he's like, Don't worry, Dad, I think Mr. Puccini is gonna take real good care of mom.

But yeah, she was like packing his stuff and, you know, being the lovely wife and this was the one time he doesn't drag her along to like attend to him and to make sure he didn't like, like, because he doesn't seem to be able to tie his own shoelaces most of the time.

Yeah, how did he give up his right arm?

You get at least for the moment the understanding of why Henry didn't have any respect for his dad until he was like in his 30s. And his dad was old.

So anyway, the writers keep trying to make the physics lessons and the romantic storylines like complimentary. So they try to have lines of the physics lessons sort of thematically go with what's going on in the romantic storyline. But it's very hamfisted and very bad.

This was not needed a few extra drafts before they went to shooting this one, but they spent all their money on the look of the beautiful location shooting instead of a better team of writers.

The moment Dr. Jones is in a cab, Henry is writing down the farther an object is away, the harder it is for the forest to affect them. And now that Dr. Jones is going away, his influence on his wife also goes away. And suddenly she she starts being quite as well behaved.

So we get a lingering shot of Anna trying on various oversized hats, like which of these three hats is the perfect hat for today. And she finally goes with one that's like covered in blue ribbons and she sticks in this hat pin that could easily be a murder weapon.

Well, I mean, that is how you wore hats. You had big hair.

Yeah. I mean, otherwise your hat's gonna fly off when you're driving a car down a dirt road.

And these women have long hair that they pinned up.

Yeah.

Which is crazy.

Yeah, I'm sure when you took that down, it was like down to her past her thighs. But we never see that at least not even in this episode. You never really get to see her without it would literally with her hair down.

Yeah, no, she was buttoned up the whole time.

So yeah, we have Puccini driving like a maniac down an Italian dirt road with Miss Seymour, Anna and little Henry.

But they were also happy for like the first time.

They're having an absolute fucking blast. They're riding down the car. Puccini's like swerving down and laughing like a fucking lunatic. And, and they're like, not only do seatbelts not even exist.

Yeah, Henry's just standing in the car. They're swaying back and forth.

He's holding on to his neck like they're riding a horse.

Like, this would be such a crime in the modern world, but it's like,

He covered his eyes at one point.

He's like, Mamma Mia! Literally says that. And then he's like, Henry, who do you think of first thought of the self propelled car?

And Henry gives the very American answer.

Henry Ford.

Fuck Henry Ford! It was Leonardo da Vinci in the 1500s.

And he's like, he of course, Italians, also very on brand, how fucking proud of being Italian they are.

So he talks about, he's like, Italians are dreamers.

They are innovators because they are dreamers.

They take the time to dream the impossible, and they sing.

And then he starts singing, take me out to the ballgame to patronize his American friends.

And they, and they fell for hook, line and sinker while they all gloriously sing.

Yeah, even Miss Seymour is about to take me out to the ballgame.

Hey, you know what, Mrs. Seymour, actually, like, she's shown in this episode.

No, honestly, Miss Seymour grows on you in this episode, because she seems like such a prissy old bitch,

but she shows a lot of humanity and empathy in this episode.

You know, and it's like, she was, she's like a stiff kind of school matron.

But at the same time, she starts to loosen the fuck up.

Well, she's been traveling with his family now for, you know, at least six, seven months.

So and she's already known Dr. Jones since he was a kid.

Yeah, and this is the episode Henry learns a third language.

Yeah, we already saw him getting his first little Italian lessons at the very beginning of the opera.

So yeah, we go so we get gorgeous establishing shots of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

And you see Henry splashing his mother's dress in muddy puddles like Peppa fucking pig.

But unlike Dr. Jones senior who would have been furious, she's Oh, Henry, use little scamp.

Oh, stop it.

Um, and so then hyperactive Henry's running up and down the tower stairs.

Well, Miss Seymour shuffles her dry old bones up to the top.

Like she was was slowed down a little bit from when we saw her like just flying up the pyramids.

Yeah, but you know, it's been a few months and her arthritis might be kicking in.

Well, and also she was drinking too much last night.

Yeah, so she's hung over as fuck.

And she's like, I gotta climb the stairs.

This kid who's literally running around because he's like this ball of manic energy.

So they can do the most fucking stupidly dangerous thing I can think of.

So in addition to history, we get some science class today kids.

Miss Seymour takes out two irons, one that is much bigger and heavier than the other.

And Henry makes the erroneous assumption that if they drop them both at the same time, the heavier one will land first.

That's what Aristotle taught explains Miss Seymour, but Galileo thought otherwise.

So then they do the they recreate Galileo's famous experiment where he drops off, uses the the leaning tower to make it easy to drop, even though he flings them, which makes it not as useful.

You're supposed to drop them exactly at the same time point.

Whatever.

It's no, but he just fucking flings because he's surprised that he didn't hit someone.

No, yeah, he nearly kills his mother and her new boyfriend.

Like, yeah, and they were like only a little like a few feet away and they were like, oh, look, it landed at the same time.

Hurray.

Yep.

So they learned that objects of the same density fall at the same rate regardless of their total mass.

So, yay, physics.

And that's why that's why he can shoot some fucking pool.

So Puccini and Anna get to know each other better.

And we learned she's from Virginia.

So we actually get an actual detail about this woman.

Not New Jersey.

Yeah.

And Puccini, that's when he tells that he grew up in Lucca, which was only 20 miles away from where they at in Pisa.

And he said that he had walked to Pisa as a young man to see his first opera, which inspired his career choice for life.

And his father had died when he was five and his mother had sacrificed for his music lessons.

But then she died before he became successful.

So and then he gives one hell of a quote.

An artist is a man who looks at beauty through a pair of looking glasses, which as he breathes becomes clouded over.

He takes off his handkerchief and cleans his glasses.

He sees clearly again, but with the first breath, the absolute beauty is failed again.

It is only the approximation that which we can create.

Art is elusive.

It is not like the beauty of a woman, unquote.

And he's like staring at her like he could just make her dress explode off her body while he gives this like deep ass quote about art.

And she just drank it.

Oh, she is.

She might be a little moist at this point.

Oh, stop with the sex references.

It's so gross.

Yeah, but don't worry.

Little, little, little Captain C Block saves the day and interrupts their moment.

Oh, yeah.

Henry is he is definitely Mr.

Cock block in this episode.

I mean, for reals.

Yeah, which, you know, in this case, fair enough.

That is his fucking mom.

Get your fucking hands off my mom.

You creepy fuck.

Even though at this point, Henry, Henry doesn't know that that Puccini is up to no good.

He's still at this point.

Neither does Miss Seymour.

Yeah, they're both like, OK, it's been a great day so far at the moment.

We're still OK.

Yeah, we're we're looking at some more.

All we're seeing is the longing looks.

And is this where they saw the statue of David?

Because, you know, that was at the beginning.

That's back in Florence.

No, they they see it later, but it's back in Florence, because I know I know that exactly what I said.

That's not the actual David, but that's there.

There is a recreation that was done and set out right in front of the museum.

I've seen that exact statue in person myself.

But anyway, but at the moment, they're still in Pisa.

And so far, we're just seeing these looks like, OK, these people are into each other, but they're all behaving.

It's just a nice day.

And then Puccini whines that his wife is a total bitch and that conflict just ruined his ability to create music.

So now they keep their distance from each other.

And his adult son tries to keep the peace between the estranged couple.

So now we cut back to the mansion in Florence, and Henry is getting yet another physics lesson when all of the flowers in Florence arrive.

And that's what she said.

She was like, these are for you.

And then she's like, who are they from?

She's like, card!

And it's funny as the flowers arrive, suddenly, Miss Seymour.

Oh, wait, I said it like, suddenly, Miss Seymour.

You should be ashamed of that, too.

She like, she springs up out of her seat, like, like her spidey sense suddenly hits for the first time.

She's like, something's up that you do not send that amount of flowers.

Yeah, they were it was a big display.

And it's a big display.

And the card reads, do my beautiful Señora Ana from Eurydmaia Puccini.

So she mom quickly lies and says they're for everyone.

She sure does.

She's like, she does not want everybody hipped that he just bought an hour.

I mean, that would be ridiculous.

Even if she was single.

An obscene amount of flowers.

But again, it is the Italian way to over fucking do it.

Yeah, giving no fucks that this woman has a family, her son's right there.

And like, yes, like you said.

Right there.

He was trying to use him as, you know, a little wingman, but ends up being his, his...

Doesn't work out.

No.

But when Ana did the lie, when Ana made the lie, that it was all for all of them.

Like you just said, Miss Seymour is like, how very Italian.

Next we cut to Puccini at an opera rehearsal, just screaming at the actress on stage.

Yeah.

I was like, give me passion.

Give me love.

You know, nothing of suffering, but you will.

And, and like the woman has like a, she's dressed as a Geisha.

So you see this is Madame Butterfly.

The one and only opera.

I think I know anything about.

I'm still confused.

Like if this is all supposed to be within a week, like he was conducting

La Boheme rehearsing for this, and then he like leaves two days later.

Like what the fuck is going on?

Operas take months, but it's just trying to like, the show is just trying to

run through some Puccini greatest hits.

So like, because La Boheme and Madame Butterfly are like his two

top tier, most well-known works.

Um, so anyway, this poor woman has a nervous breakdown and runs off the

stage crying because her boss sucks.

Saying some very unkind things in Italian.

Um, so then, uh, and you see that, that the Joneses minus Dr.

Jones who's still in Rome, um, are up there watching the rehearsal.

And so Puccini comes up there and asks Ms.

Seymour, like what she thinks of unrequited love.

And she very pointedly says, it has its place in romantic novels and operas.

Like fiction motherfucker, you need to behave yourself.

Those flowers.

I'm onto you.

Um, and then Puccini.

Henry's right there.

Yeah.

And, and Puccini, um, tells Henry, uh, they have this talk about like, if he

likes music and he's like, yeah, at piano, I had a piano teacher who sucked.

And then he's like, yeah, I had a music teacher who sucked too.

Like, you know, kicked me if I ever hit a wrong note, but then my mother

got me, uh, a great teacher.

And then now here I am.

So he's like, he's trying to suck up to Ms.

Seymour by saying, he literally says, I think like having the right teacher

will make, you know, makes all the difference and says like, yes, Ms.

Seymour, see, I am good guy.

And she's like, nobody I'm onto you.

Um, so, and then he's like, Anna, why are you so quiet?

And she's like, Madam butterfly is such a sad story.

And the music is haunting.

So it takes score more points.

He runs over to the score right off of his little stand and he grabs a page

and he signs it and gives it to Anna so that she will own a piece of Madam

butterfly, which is really sweet and really romantic and also really

inappropriate, especially right in front of her kid, but okay, cool.

So that night, mama Jones is tucking little Henry into bed.

He's like looking at the piece of music and he's like, oh, this looks weird,

but she's trying to get scratched.

She's explaining.

Yeah.

The music is like how the notes follow each other.

It's a language all by itself.

It can make you feel things.

And she starts to sing, uh, you know, a little bit of an aria from Madam

butterfly.

Then we cut to a montage of lovely scenes of Puccini spending time with Anna and

Henry, both together and separately.

He's just, we either he's clearly spending several days hanging out with the,

with the fam and we get a bunch more of those breathtaking.

Like there's one point there's just, they're,

they're like looking out from a hillside over the Tuscan countryside at magic hour.

And it's just like one of the most like gorgeous things you've ever seen.

But we only can see it through a weird grainy lens.

Yeah.

And then the another move,

then we dissolves to just the breathtaking architecture of Florence.

I say breathtaking a lot because it is breathtaking.

And that's when Puccini makes his first, maybe just slides his,

he goes for the arm around the waist, uh, you know,

maneuver on Anna and she rejects that shit a hundred percent.

I will give this woman credit because she puts up quite a resistance.

Like she does not send mixed signals.

She literally says, please don't.

And of course he does not don't.

This begins what I would call the Pepe Le Pew portion of the episode where he

does not take no for an answer. He's not,

it's very cringe doesn't think about what he's going to do to her family,

even if, regardless of anything else you say, he is, he is a selfish.

Yeah, this guy's a piece of shit. And he explains, I mean,

and he literally chases her down a flight of stairs and almost makes a scene to

the point where Henry noticed.

Yeah. And the whole time while he's chasing her, he's, he's like,

you've brought, you know, you brought life and art and music back to my soul.

Like,

like it would be a sin for them to ignore what God has brought together because

of course, you know, his horniness is a,

you can't see me rolling my eyes, but it's all because of God.

You see, um,

and she is clear. She's like, I am married.

She is not on board with any of this and my kids right there, dude.

So she tells everybody that she's not feeling well and they need to go home.

And the next morning you see Mrs. Jones not eating at breakfast and she's

disappointed that Dr.

Jones did not respond to her recent letter and has not written them while he's

gone. She's like, Oh yeah, but I know he's really busy, but she's like,

I really, really need my husband to, I need a fraction right now,

because I've got a horny Italian who I'm very massively attracted to and he's

like all getting under my skin with all this art and music and he will not leave

her alone. So she decided, she's wearing me down, dude. Where's the letter?

Come on, give me something. And so, you know,

Mrs. Seymour tries to save her when she was like lessons Henry.

And then there were, she was like, no, let's spend some time. Yep.

We're still hanging out. We're still a family. Yep.

So the three of them go sightseeing and they're like, cause she,

because Anna already shut down cause Henry's like,

maybe we can go riding around and miss her car. She's like, no.

And then that's when Miss Seymour was like, let's do lessons.

And then Anna's like, no, how about we just go have a good time?

Just the three of us.

And so they do. And they do. And so the family's doing tour shit.

They visit the Basilica de Santa Croce, which I have been to.

It is where many famous Italians find their,

it's like the one of the most honored places like a famous Italian can be,

especially for like the arts.

It is where Dante Alighieri's empty tomb resides. Like to this day,

Florence is fighting the place where he died to get his body back.

But they're like, no, you banished him. So fuck you.

So he has an empty tomb with muses weeping over it in the Basilica along with

like I was at the tomb of Marconi,

the inventor of the radio is is buried there along with a bunch of famous,

like I'm going to bumble it. I'm not, don't have notes on that, but anyway,

a bunch of famous Italians,

including another opera composer like Rossini is buried in the Basilica.

So they're, they're in this beautiful place,

checking out all the art and sculpture and, and tombs.

And we see Puccini totally stalking Mrs. Jones.

Yeah. It got real weird real quick.

Yeah. I was worried that it was going to get like even darker because at first,

like she was not into it. Like she wasn't into it at all.

You saw the look in her eyes. Like she was very moved and interested,

but she like, but she was very clear.

She had no intentions of doing anything. And he kept like this point,

he's stalking her from the fucking shadows and trying to grab her.

Yeah. And she was like, nah dude, the whole time.

Yeah. And then finally that's when, when Henry starts seeing, he's like, oh,

what's Mr. Puccini here? Why does mom look so upset?

Is there having this argument from there and Miss Seymour tries to drag Henry

away.

And that's when Henry stops being so cool with Mr. Puccini. Cause he's like,

I don't know what's going on, but my mom is not happy.

I don't like anybody making my mom cry.

Yeah. He's like, my mom's having feelings and they need to stop.

Like Puccini is lucky he died in the twenties cause if Indiana Jones had run into

him later in the fucking thirties, he was just like, I think I owe you some,

I think I owe you some Indiana Jones style ass kicking.

So Anna tells tells the dude,

he's like you have to stop and he just keeps pushing and in typical dude

fashion, it's still all about him. He's like, you, you make me alive.

You bring me music. It's all about me, me, me.

Yeah. And she was, she's like, leave me alone. I mean, she says it very clear,

but, but pushy dudes be pushy dudes, pushy dudes.

And Puccini tells her that we'll be waiting for her in the gardens that night.

He names it, but I don't remember which garden it was.

Um, so we go to fifth Henry getting a physics lesson.

He's rubbing his hands together,

which is just suggestive and weird with the rest of this episode. Um,

and Anna is like, I'm going to go out for a walk. Yeah, that's the ticket.

I won't be gone long.

I'm going to go on 10 minutes top. See you soon.

But just in case I'm not playing Henry to bed and then boom,

she's right there and goes to Puccini and we see them spend a

magical evening together. We see them kissing. Um,

they go out and do all this stuff and we see them kissing and buying flowers and

walking around. And while that goes backstage to madam butterfly.

Now the episode makes it all look very chase,

but I don't believe that I'm convinced these two people fucked.

That was the reason she snuck out.

It's, it's very possible.

It's also possible. She didn't go either way. Either way.

Either way. She was certainly not behaving herself.

She let herself go at this point. She was like, I am you, this woman,

you clearly having been stuck for a decade with

fucking Dr. Jones. Yeah. She wanted some romance,

like even if it's not straight up abuse, it's a neglect.

A man who barely cracks a smile versus this expressive Italian who just tells

her she's a goddess and that he is nothing without her. I mean,

you can sort of sympathize with poor Anna here. Yeah.

And when you know she's going to be dead in a few years, I'm like, I hope she,

I hope she got railed by that swarthy Italian. Uh, poor little Henry.

So she comes back later that night long after Henry goes to bed and then is

busted by Miss Seymour waiting up for her. Oh,

you went out a long time. Did you?

And so Miss Seymour tries to be a little coy, but,

but he's trying to to guide this younger woman who's clearly an author.

She's like, she's like, Florence is, you know, a romantic and beautiful city,

but we will be leaving with the family soon. Right.

Mrs. Jones.

And she was like, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Uh,

so the next day, Miss Seymour and Henry are, uh,

have gone off to Galileo's telescope because we're still on the Galileo.

We're in the museum for science.

And Anna is supposedly off shopping air quotes.

Yeah, shopping.

And then he goes and he looks through the telescope and what does he find?

He sees his mom and Puccini having some tea or

whatever, having some tea. And at one point, uh, uh, uh,

sharing a rather intimate embrace. They don't,

I don't think they kiss where he can see,

but he sees them like hugging in a way that's very, um,

clearly not cool.

And little Henry has a fucking fit at this point.

He storms out of the museum.

One day I'm going to be able to kick the shit out of people like this,

but right now I'm nine. Fuck. Um,

so he impotently just storms off fucking. Yeah.

And so then, uh, where we, we see,

this is where the hidden,

this is where the sympathy for little Henry Jones at this point comes in because

you can just see the fucking rage.

Yeah. He is not cool with this.

And then later he's going to literally have his heart broken for at least an

hour. Um, so at the cafe you see Puccini and Anna there.

And finally he's like, for some reason he has to leave for Milan, Milan,

Milan, Milan.

That's a different, that's a different movie.

Very different movie. They had to leave for Milan that night.

And he's like in an ass Anna to come with him. Um, and yeah, yes,

he wants that.

He wants this woman to abandon her husband and nine year old son to fuck off

with a guy she'd met just a few days ago because he goes, I love you.

I don't want to live without you with you by my side. I can create again.

Don't break my heart. And she's like, this is moving too fast. And then wait.

She's like, excuse me. Excuse me. And she just takes off like crying.

Infidelity was one thing,

but completely fucking abandoning her family is a totally different thing.

She's like, I thought this was a,

this was supposed to be fun and eat fuck love situation. Yeah.

And then I go back to my family, not, uh,

not literally me just suddenly changing my life and whole thing. And so,

so he insists, but he has total faith and work that he is like,

he's a romantic through and through. Um,

so that night Henry gives his mother a dose of guilt where he's like, Oh, uh,

are you shopping? She's like, yeah, I bought a scarf. And he's like, yeah,

I saw you with Mr. Puccini funny about that.

She was like, Oh, I ran into him. Yeah. Funny, funny, funny coincidence that,

and then it's followed up by scene, um,

with Ms Seymour really showing off that she actually is a,

a very, uh,

empathetic and kind person deep down beneath her British prissiness because she

doesn't, she could,

and honestly is in a position to very harshly judge and come down on Anna.

Yeah. Especially because that's, you know, Dr. Jones is her boy.

It's her boy and her boss. But at this point she feels like she's part of this

family and she has, she knows what a stiff Dickie is.

You know, she, you can tell she has a lot of empathy. And so Anna and,

and, but she says she just kind of patiently reminds her of her

responsibilities and her actions.

And Anna's all flustered and doesn't know how to feel.

And so she just confides everything and says, yeah,

he's asked me to run away with him.

And little Henry is eavesdropping the whole time and now finds out his mother is

at least considering ditching him forever to be with this other dude with this

opera composer.

Can you imagine, it's like his mother, his one solace,

the one fucking person who like loves him and pays attention to him.

And so there's this moment where he thinks, Oh shit, my mom is going to fucking bail.

And so you see him and he does not want anyone to know he found this out.

So he runs back into bed and throws the covers over his head and is probably

sobbing his little Henry eyes out.

I just don't know that Cory Carrier could have really carried that.

They just went with the covers over the head, which is probably a wise choice.

And that's fine because I mean,

you really feel like he was, I mean,

of all of the acting in this, he actually, he gave it all.

Yeah. And this was his last full episode. So he had,

this was after he'd warmed up with the character quite a bit before he shot this.

So anyway, we cut to the train station.

So we're past this sweeping shot of a big steam locomotive.

And you see that that ends a sign, which is the Italian name for Florence.

And you,

and you see Anna Jones standing there in her full dress,

the steam washing over her and you see, she's walking,

she's walking and Puccini calls out to her holding flowers in his hands.

And she walks right past him. Doesn't even give him a look.

Well, she does for a second. She kind of turns halfway.

And then that's the moment where Dr. Jones steps off the train

and she throws him herself into his arms. It was like, Oh, Anna,

what a nice surprise. And she kisses him and says how much he missed him.

Yup. And she can't wait to get home to bang him. She's like,

let's always be together. Let's not, please don't leave me alone.

You have no idea how horny I am. Apparently he really,

really loves this woman too. Cause he was just like, Oh, okay.

But he was just sort of pleasantly surprised. Oh, that's very nice.

My wife met me at the train station. Very kind of her. Yes.

And he's going to go home and I don't have to beat her until next week.

Gonna go home and, and yeah, take care of that.

Yeah. So, so they kiss, uh, and you see the,

the legendary Italian opera composer heartbreaks as he turns and goes to his

train to go off to Milan.

And then they show the abandoned flowers on the train station.

So the voiceover from old indie tells us that things can get off track,

but can return back to their original course.

As both of Henry's little parents visited him in bed.

So you see him waking up to both of his parents. He goes, Oh cool.

My mom didn't abandon me. My family's still together. Hooray.

Everything's fine now. We're just going to, and then they were like,

we're going to go to France. And he was like, sweet.

So then we dissolve back to the bar in the 1990s where

the biker mama has absolutely just tears streaking down her face from,

from the beautiful story that this old fossil told her while he's been

kicking her ass at a game of nine ball. Yep. And she asks,

did she ever see him again? Meaning did Anna ever see Puccini again?

And the answer was, I don't think so. Don't think so. But he, yeah,

especially considering we know that this woman died between ages like 11 and 16.

Yeah. But he did write an opera,

La Fucilia del West, or like it was like the golden,

the golden woman of the West or the gold girl, the West was the title.

There's a love triangle story set in the California gold rush.

And according to old indie,

which an American woman of the old West gives up her home and friends for the

man she loves. Yeah. He had to write that. It's a fiction dude.

Fictional version of whatever,

because Puccini was forever carrying the torch for Mrs. Anna Jones.

And then at that exact moment,

old man and he fucks up and scratches the ball and then he just looks up and

goes, your shot Mimi, the end.

That was the baffling place. Yeah. And it's like, he didn't even win.

I think I understand what they're going for because I'm a nerd and I get to show

off my English degree, but we'll get to that in a second. Okay.

But that's the episode. That was the cringy fucking weird ass episode.

What are your thoughts on it as a story itself before we revolve?

The story itself was fucking really weird and really terrible and really

cringy. No, I didn't look up the dates. Um,

I am convinced that whoever wrote this episode was heavily inspired by the

movie, The Bridges of Madison County,

starring Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood because that was a story.

That's a married woman married to, uh, to a stiff,

I know you're a nice enough guy, but just boring and not romantic.

And Clint Eastwood played a photographer who came into town to take these

pictures of the bridges, the covered bridges,

and he and Meryl Streep have this love affair.

But in the end she chooses her husband and her family over running away.

Yeah. Like I'm an adult.

So this feels like they were trying to do kind of an homage to that story,

but this time set with a historical figure and it fell flat and trying to turn

Indy's mom into like this romantic tragic heroin or whatever.

I don't know. I thought, no, it was, it was weird. It didn't,

it didn't land with me. Well, honestly,

like I thought the guy who played Puccini did was great. Like he is,

his performance was fine. Um, and I thought all the performances were fine.

Even young Indy, his performance was fine. Everything, it was fine.

The writing, the writing was not great. Um, but I like that was, you know,

what they were going for. All right,

so now we're ready to move on to our next segment.

This is where we go over the historical figures,

lessons and artifacts featured in this episode.

I don't even know there aren't any historical artifacts.

It was a shit load of art and sculpture and architecture.

I did love when they showed it,

Indy staring at the statue of David and they only showed his face.

Yeah,

they showed him literally staring up and then it was like the face shots,

which is in the real world. I can't believe that there,

a teacher was fired for showing the statue of Dave,

one of the most famous,

priceless and incredible works of art ever created by man,

which again, and then it turned into another Simpsons episode.

It's really bad.

It was a joke when the Simpsons did it. It's like, here we are in real life.

And so that is funny. But, but you know, they, as you can see,

young Indiana Jones, they didn't protect his little nine year old eyes.

He saw all the titties and he saw David's wenis and it was fine.

We didn't get to see it on TV though.

But we did see the titties because marble titties are fine on television.

Well, and it was a hand covering the titty.

You could see some statues with breasts in there. It was fine. So anyway,

they did not show, but there was no, yeah, but yeah, we're,

we're definitely not in a, there's not a piece of treasure this episode.

The treasure was Anna Jones's heart. Now, one thing,

featured like the music we started with and was this was La Boheme,

one of Puccini's most famous operas.

And if you are a modern fan of musicals, you might've seen Rent,

which is just a modern reinterpretation of La Boheme. And honestly,

kind of how I thought that weird, the weird way it ended,

just like kind of in the middle of him, just like your shot Mimi. Well,

Mimi was a character both in La Boheme and in Rent.

She was the chick who died at the end of La Boheme,

but did not die at the end of Rent. And, and, and,

and also La Boheme sort of famously a story that doesn't really have a plot.

It just kind of follows these,

these young people who live in an apartment and just shit happens,

but there's no real, there's no real, like,

like even though it has a death at the end,

but like the death wasn't a tragedy because it wasn't because of anything they

did. It was just life. And so it was like, it just sort of like,

it just sort of happens cause it was part of Puccini's.

He one of his like things he brought to, to opera was,

that was the realism style.

The idea that we're going to try to just recreate life and then portray it to

music and, but try to, to, to get to real life.

So La Boheme was supposed to be an example of,

this is just some shit that happened to some young people.

And then one of them died. That character was Mimi.

And that was, they made the biker mama chick Mimi.

So I think that was kind of a thing they were going for. And the,

and kind of a nod to how,

how La Boheme just sort of ends the episode just sort of ends.

So I guess it's like they were trying to tie this all together.

But that's going to fly over the audience's head a lot.

They did not set that up properly.

Like the only reason I could come up with that is because I literally research

it and thinking about it. What the fuck? So in the episode,

we see a Puccini personally conducting the performance of La Boheme,

which actually very rarely would you see the composer actually conducting.

I'm like, they did that a lot for, you know,

for things like Amadeus and Immortal Beloved,

where they always want to show the composers conducting,

but most of the time they're not the composer.

A professional conductor would deal with that. And they're just hell,

they're not even at every performance because they're the dudes who made it

racked it up. But so, but of course that's, you know,

typical dramatic license to see him personally doing every single fucking job,

even though,

even though he would have been leading a large team of people just to handle the

stage directions and handling the act like him doing everything is, yeah,

that's how it really works, but whatever. It's fine.

One interesting little piece of apocrypha was that the US copyright for

Take Me Out to the Ball Game had only just been registered in May 2nd, 1908.

It was a brand new song. Literally it was supposed to have just happened in

America.

So the Joneses would have already left America before they would have even heard

this song, much less Puccini.

The first performance was by a chick named Nora Baze in 1908.

And yeah, it was after June 15th.

So it was like them saying it was total bullshit.

The song basically didn't exist and Puccini definitely wouldn't have known it at

this point and neither would the family. So that is cute.

It couldn't have happened. Historical inaccuracies. Oh yeah.

Then like I already said,

Anna tells Miss Seymour the family's going to go onto to Paris because

originally the next episode was supposed to be Paris, September, 1908,

but it was originally supposed to be in July.

So now we're going to be going somewhere else before we go to Paris.

Okay. Do we ever make it to Paris?

Yes, we will be going to Paris.

Okay. We'll go to Paris, but not yet.

But not yet because once again, they didn't get things in order.

Well, and I guess the way they're trying to,

like this is old Indy and he's telling the story of his life.

Yeah. And probably getting all the details wrong.

And that's if this is the real Indiana Jones and not just some lunatic.

I'm convinced it might be a lunatic.

Just making up some shit as he goes along.

Yeah. He doesn't look or sound anything like he's a guy.

This is like,

if Mad Eye Moody came out into the fucking real world was like undercover,

trying to look for fucking it's yeah.

For dark wizards and bars and museums and shit.

So L'Enfantula del West,

the girl of the golden West was indeed a three act opera.

Probably one of the last bigger hits of Puccini had kind of a career decline

that lasted for a while after this point.

And actually premiered in New York city. But yeah, it's,

it's this love story that literally has a happy couple riding off into the

sunrise on a real horse on stage at the end of the opera.

There's some interesting little, little tidbits. I don't have notes for them,

but I'll try to remember about Puccini himself.

One thing,

some of the stories about him that he told in this episode did line up.

He was from Luca.

He and his brother did walk to to Pisa

to see their first opera.

And that was what really inspired him to actually want to, to compose opera.

Or actually it was his friend, not his brother.

But what they didn't talk about was how Puccini was from this like musical

dynasty in the town of Luca where like his grandfather and father had

both held this musical position at the local church.

Like they had this like very specific job that was like,

it had become hereditary at this point. And everybody just assumed,

like his dad died when he was five,

but they assumed he was just going to slide into that role.

And that's why his mom was like invested in his musical training,

but he did not want that job.

He kind of resisted it and kind of bounced back and forth.

But then when he got inspired to do opera,

that's when he like went all in on the music thing and did all

that. He did have an estranged,

very bad marriage gone back and forth.

It included a bunch of public humiliation because Puccini

was a horny, constantly cheating bastard.

Yeah. So, I mean, I guess that's on track,

although indie saintly mother.

Yeah. So there was one story that actually had, if this was real,

it would have taken place not like only the next year,

but apparently at one point when Puccini had gone home for a while,

his wife became convinced that he'd been having an affair

with a very young maid in the house. And this, and then,

and so this woman was like harassing this teenage girl and like,

and publicly humiliating her and threatening her and like cause all these

problems. And this girl killed herself.

Oh, yikes.

And then they did a medical exam that where they were of their opinion,

she was a Virgin.

So this woman harassed this teenager to death for nothing.

Well, just because her husband cheated on so many times and driven her crazy.

I mean, not to excuse anybody's behavior in this,

the teenage girl is the true victim here, but it's like, God damn. So yeah,

he wasn't great.

And they portrayed that he is not great because he was fucking harassing.

Well, that's the thing though, but I think it wanted us to,

but I think it wanted us to, to be like, to get into the romance side,

but it didn't really work for me either.

I did not, she was still way too buttoned up to be,

it did not portray. It really did.

The whole romance thing fell very flat. It was almost sadly flat.

It was really hard to get it. It was, it was very forced, but whatever.

Once again, I was just trying to cram some history into us.

And so we, now we have Puccini and it was an excuse for them to,

to go to Florence and Pisa and shoot in all these beautiful places and

hope they had fun. They probably did.

So now we're going to move on to the next section.

In this segment, we look at the development of Dr. Henry Jones Jr.

as he develops into the man he will one day become.

I guess he learns that relationships are complicated.

I mean that no one's perfect.

He was, he spent God knows how long telling some bikers in a bar about how he

learned about physics.

About the time his mom fucking decided to cheat on his dad.

Infidelity, it's sometimes good for a marriage.

Yeah. It was a weird story to tell total strangers.

It was a weird story in general.

That I think is his specific mental illness is that he can't,

he can't just not vomit out all these stories as he goes along. But so yeah,

so, so we know that we, at this point he learned some science shit.

And he learns a little bit about the complications of relationships,

but his mother pulled through for him and became, once again,

his saintly mother stayed his perfect woman for the rest of his life.

I mean, other than that, we, we see him, you know,

running up and down the stairs once again,

showing that he is just the most fucking hyperactive ball of energy,

but who's also tortured by having to do like this,

like having to do high school and college level like lessons all the time from

his mean old bitty.

Yeah. And he's just a kid.

Yeah. But like you said,

there's just not a lot of actual Indiana Jones stuff in this episode because

this wasn't an Indiana Jones episode. This was Anna Jones episode.

And it was weird and I really didn't enjoy it. Granted,

I haven't really enjoyed any of them, but he didn't say the closest one,

I guess was Egypt has to be the superior episode so far where at least the

writing didn't completely suck ass.

Yeah. We will have to see as we go along some of that improves. Oh,

we do. Okay. Yeah. You, we did mote that, uh,

as far as updating his character sheet,

we already know he's fluent in an Arabic and now he's getting, he's,

he took Italian one Oh one. He can speak some Italian now.

Yup. And there was one point at the beginning of the episode where, uh,

where a pretty young girl in a dress drops a handkerchief and he's like,

scoozy. And he picks it up and gives it to her,

which is like a foreshadowing some of his like ridiculous bullshit he does later

on as a dashing young hero. Well, and you know, maybe later on he,

you know, this could have the possibility that Puccini was, you know,

was like, well, you shouldn't go after married women, but it's like,

but maybe not being so stiff can get you a girl or two sometimes.

Yeah. I mean, and to, to be fair,

Indiana Jones does better at getting girls than, uh, some other people.

He just doesn't tend to hold onto them very long. No.

Well he doesn't seem to want to. Yeah.

And I think there's like,

so he has mommy and daddy issues that interfere with his relationships with

people. Yeah. Uh, so yeah.

So I guess this is the first time we get to really experience how he had mommy

issues. Yep. Let me say that was that time. My mom almost abandoned me,

but then she didn't. Yep. And then she died.

And then she died abandoning me with this fucking horrible monster forever.

But yeah, I guess that's, that's basically going to be it for,

for Henry this week. Yeah. It was weird. It was cringy.

Didn't like it, but here we are. And now, uh,

and the cinematography once again was absolutely spectacular.

And the music was beautiful because it pulled in a lot. It pulled an opera.

And like I said,

they worked in Puccini into this into the just regular score for the episode to

kind of drench all that time that Anna and him were spending together in his

music because she's very clearly, you know, in love with his music and you know,

at first, and that's why the first chink in her arm where he was able to worm his

way in. Well,

I guess would the treasure have been the piece of music that he autographed?

That would be,

I guess that would be a thing if Indiana ends up with his mom's sheet music

that's tucked in his journal one day or that's one of it is a,

it would be a nice valuable thing to have because Puccini was the most

commercially successful opera composer of all time,

at least to the point of his death. And they, I think they said like,

in modern dollars,

he had about $200 million worth of amassed wealth as a composer.

And you compare that to, to like Mozart,

a while back before he died in a fucking and it's dumped in a mass grave.

We don't know to this day exactly where he, where his bones are at.

Yeah, it's sad. So, and this guy was a dick.

I can only, so my only last guess would be that from this point forward,

if, if any of the Jones,

like if somebody starts playing Puccini around him,

he just like breaks the phonograph or the record player punches the person

singing it. Fuck that guy.

Maybe. I don't know. Old Indy is weird.

I'll say he's singing. Yeah. Well,

I think that just about does it for us today. Uh, if you're made it this far,

thank you so much for listening.

We will have more of the adventures of Dr. Henry Jones

for you next time. And the value of series,

regular episodes of Chainsaw History coming to you soon. Um,

plugging my own stuff. If you are into Dungeons and Dragons,

you should go check out the content I'm putting up on my newsletter called

backstab.fun, uh, where I just put up random stuff. Like recently,

I put up rules for if your party adopts a puppy in your Dungeons and Dragons

adventuring party and how you might handle that situation. And that's it.

Okay. Well, we'd also like to thank our sound engineer, Kevin.

We are super grateful to be hosted here at Raven Sound Studios.

So always catch you next time. Bye.

Yes.

Okay.

Someone seems to have sent you all the flowers in Florence.

Oh, my.

Well, who could have sent them? The cat.

Oh, my.

They are from senior Porcini for, for all of us.